Sense of Soul - F*CK Anxiety & Get Sh*t Done

Episode Date: May 3, 2021

We had a fun, soulful conversation with the lovely Vikki Louise, a Life Coach and Host of the podcast F*CK Anxiety & Get Sh*t Done! In this episode we talk about how to not hate anxiety and how to manage ones basic human instincts so they can blow their f*cking minds and live an extraordinary life. She believes that our brains were built for survival in the wild. This means avoid failure, rejection and exposure, conserve energy. This shows up in playing small, scrolling for hours on social media, Netflix-ing our lives away and settling. She shares how we are far more capable than our brains wants us to know. Check out her coaching and courses as well as her must listen podcast  F*CK Anxiety & Get Sh*t Done! https://vikkilouise.com/ Please Rate, Review and Subscribe to Sense of Soul Podcast and thank you Podcorn for sponsoring this episode! Check out http://podcorn.com/ and www.mysenseofsoul.com !

Today's episode is sponsored by Podcorn. Shanna and I have been really picky about who we would let sponsor us, and when Podcorn offered, we were super excited. Why, might you ask? Well, Shanna, let's break that shit down. I personally was excited because the Podcorn platform is super user-friendly, and I am definitely one who needs things simplified. Shanna, maybe tell our listeners what Podcorn is.

Podcorn is a way for people like Mandy and I to get sponsorship and make more money so we can continue our mission of putting light and love into the world. Podcasts of all sizes can browse and choose paid sponsorship opportunities right on their platform, set their own rates, and collaborate with brands directly without any exclusivities. You know what else I love, Shanna Banana? What's that? Podcorn gives us the choice to send written proposals or to send a quick authentic voice message. Voice message is definitely my style because it takes like 30 seconds. And considering we're so busy, this is amazing that they have that option. Speaking of being authentic to who we are,

I love that on Podcorn, we can search brands that align with who we are and what sense of soul represents. Yes, girl. Podcorn is brilliant. It's an amazing way to connect with other podcasters and brands and to get money, money, money. I'm also digging that they give you guidance on what rates to charge, but leave it wide open for you to ultimately decide. Podcasting takes a lot of hard work and time. So thank you so much, Podcorn, for sponsoring this episode and for creating such an easy platform for podcasters like us so we can continue our purpose. If you have a brand you're trying to

get marketed or you're a podcaster trying to build your listeners, you guys have to go check out Podporn. Again, thank you Podporn for sponsoring this episode. Welcome to the Sense of Soul podcast. We are your hosts, Shanna and Mandy. Grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Today on Sense of Soul, we have Vicki Louise. She is a life coach, a time hacker, and a podcaster. Her podcast is called Fuck Anxiety and Get Shit Done. She likes to teach people how to manage their human instincts so they can blow their fucking minds and live an incredible life. And I can't wait because you speak my language. Welcome. Thank you. Thanks so much for having me. So happy to be here. Is your language the language of curse words? It absolutely is. And for some

reason, when I say them, I feel empowered and I don't know why. I don't think my mom likes it. Listen, I heard this thing the other day, someone told me, cause I swear a lot and I, and I apologize. They were watching me do a webinar with a husband and they messaged me saying, my husband said, oh my God, she swears a lot. It's just my natural. Sorry. Sorry, mom. She said, listen, Tony Robbins apparently shared this story that he swears because it like alerts people. So they like it like triggers something in your brain. So you pay attention more. So I'm just swearing for the people. There you go. You're doing it for the benefit of all.

Fuck yeah. Exactly. We're just doing this in service. I love it. So, you know, you specialize or I say specialize, but which nobody wants to specialize in anxiety, but you talk a lot about it, as do we. And because we experienced it and didn't really have that kind of guidance as a child, you know, like, what am I experiencing? I mean, I remember having anxiety, like some of my earliest memories and not knowing what the hell it was,

thinking maybe I was having a heart attack or an asthma attack and I didn't have either. Couldn't even put words to it. Did you have anxiety as a child? Like a hundred percent. And I would even say to everyone listening, everyone has anxiety as a child. Everyone has anxiety. It's actually normal. We evolved to have it but like you it wasn't until I was I want to say 29 like I knew what anxiety was I definitely didn't have it in my head right um it was like this super extreme non-functioning anxiety that I'd heard about that's what got the press and then I was living with my partner my husband, and I started waking up every day into like sweat and exactly what you just said, Shanna, about the exact reaction of like mind racing,

sweating, dizziness, nauseousness, nauseousness. Don't know if that's a word. We're going to roll with it. I love when I make up my own words all the time and I tell people, hey, if you know what they mean, then they should be a word. Yeah. So good. We're expanding vocabulary. We're doing a service, swearing and making up words.

You're welcome, listeners. So I actually was waking up like that on a daily basis for about two weeks until he turned around to me and said, how do you wake up in the morning? Like something's changed. I don't know what's going on but something's definitely going on because I was just like oh and then I just get on with my day and blah blah blah and then I spoke to a friend who actually happened to be American which I think you guys um speak more about this than I ever saw because I used to live in the U.S. and obviously grew up in England and the US is just there's more conversation and dialogue around it and she was like it sounds like anxiety and I was

like well no because I'm getting on with my day and everything and it was just like mind-blowing and then I went to Dr. Google and I was like okay let's figure out what it is and I searched what is anxiety and I won't forget forget the two things that happened next. First, the definition came up, which is like anxiety is a feeling of worry, overwhelm and apprehension. And I looked at the screen like, what are you talking about?

That's like not explaining anything. Like I've got anxiety and you're telling me that I'm supposed to be able to, it's a feeling of feelings. This is not useful. And then the second thing was I read, you know, one in five adults will suffer from an anxiety disorder. And my background is finance and numbers and statistics. And I was like, one in five of a population size of 200 million or 100 million if it's adults is not a disorder.

It's a trend trend why do we have anxiety this is not like the way the way that I'd spoken about it or heard about it everything was as though it was like this disorder and this thing that was super wrong versus actually what when I started um down the path of research and discovery like we evolved to have anxiety which is basically hormones being released into our body that meant we could run faster longer and feel less pain which isn't so useful with our modern day anxieties but used to be really useful for our predecessors wait isn't that crazy how we've evolved all of these like patterns in our brain we just come here with them i feel the same thing about fight or flight. Like, why do we fear everything? Why is that a natural thing to fucking fear

everything? And also with the anxiety, I really felt that once I got that diagnosis, that's who I was, you know, that labeled me, that explained everything in my life now I accepted it as part of me I felt it was within me and I thought for sure it's going to be generational and so we're all stuck with being stressed out forever yeah which is so interesting because now we know how changeable the brain is and exactly like you said it's like our brain is this supercomputer that's been pro it's been like wired for a different time because let's be honest our brain's been around for like 40,000 years in its most modern form and most of that was before not just before technology I mean before homes I mean before even huts I mean before like any kind of wheelbarrows, like 40,000 years is a long ass time.

And our brains basically evolved to do that one job really well, which was to keep us alive. And for most of those 40,000 years, I'd say like 39,000, anxiety was really useful in that like immediate hormone generator that would allow us to physically get out of fucking danger very quickly. They like, and to see potential danger, that was like a super skill. Yeah. I loved on your podcast, how you're like, you know, it's that cave woman part of your brain and it's like, you know, you needed that shit because there might be an, a lion that's going about to tear off your face. But now today when we're eating or what'd you say when we're eating our door dash food and sitting in our Uber, we don't really need that anymore. So there's nothing wrong with us. We just have to rewire it. Is that correct? Yeah, exactly. And I love that you even

mentioned this because the first most common dip that I see happen that costs the most is the self-judgment story the shame story what we make it mean about us what we make it mean about you know about the anxiety the anxiety's bad we're bad and obviously the more we are spending time in those stories the worse we're feeling um which is why you know we spoke a little bit about and Shannon shared about how she had it when she was younger and didn't really know like at a basic level can we just learn about our brains a little bit in school like not ph tables or whatever I remember what they were called but you know um unfortunately where I catch most people and where most people are spending way too long is not even in solving the anxiety it's in all the judgment and the shame

there's something wrong with me what's wrong with me I'm different that whole story so before we even go to like how can we solve the anxiety what we want to start with is the anxiety about anxiety yeah why have we called it this name I mean just the word anxiety fucking sucks right it gives me anxiety just saying anxiety so in my my house, we've changed it. We don't say anxiety. We say that we have extra energy on our chest because really, truly, that's all it is. Yeah, yeah.

And I love that you said that because to go back to when I was looking for that definition, right? And it's so vague, the definition that you'll find online. Like literally, we could have a room of 1000 people, or speaking about anxiety and speaking about different things, because like, there's such a spectrum. So one of the first things I would recommend anyone listening that experiences anxiety do is define it for yourself. So I love that you guys have done that in that way. But

really, when you know exactly what's going to happen you're not feeling like a victim to something happening to you even if what's happening might not be what you would have chosen it's like oh here's anxiety this means so for me it meant I was going to feel dizzy very hot nausea so I knew to like grab open a window sit down and put my head between my legs which meant I could contribute to recovery way better than like, I don't know, is it worry? I don't know. What do you think? Is it apprehension? I don't know. I feel overwhelmed. Like that's just going to cycle out more. So I love that you guys, that you do that with your family. Can you, I'm spoiling your whole first podcast that you put

out, but I definitely want our listeners to go listen to it. But can you share with them the story about the first time you took your anxiety and used it to empower you? Yes. So I was already a coach, right? I already knew the tools and like my mindset and all that shit that feels really good when you're like at home in your office or like whatever. And then it comes to like game day. And for me, that was, I've always been like a chatty confident person but like our brains aren't wired to have us expose ourselves to so many people in one go especially in real life and I was doing a presentation I was walking up on stage after I just like calmed my nervous system down ready to go and it was like I took a step right at the point where people could like suddenly see me and I literally even speaking about it now I'm like it was like sweat I was

like what is going on like literally my face was red sweat like my heart was pounding my brain was like what are you doing what are you doing what are you doing turn around turn around turn around like I was like oh my god I look how like people can see me I'm like well like I have to keep moving now and everything went super slow motion and really horrible and I was like like I don't have time to like grab a pen and a piece of paper and write down what am I feeling in my body and where and all these tools that I was used to using um I was like I guess we're going on together and I was like well there's no point arguing with it that was the first thought and then immediately afterwards it was oh like my brain literally thinks i'm gonna die and it's got this like fucking superpower that's so strong and

so capable and so on my side of just wanting me to stay alive but it's like literally bit you've like fucked us over. We're taking over, grabbing the reins and it's using like all of its force. And when I saw how actually powerful it was and the physical thing that it was making happen, suddenly I was like, oh my God, I've got this like super machine on my side.

Like I'm set for life. Instead of arguing and fighting with it, I was like, oh my God, I'm set for life instead of arguing and fighting with it I was like oh my god I'm fucking Beyonce like everything everything felt like I experienced it was like glittering you know like every I could feel every pore on my body was like electric yeah so that was that was it yeah you know what's so funny is I look at it now that way as well. I mean, I look at anxiety as a message, like we're yay. Thank you. What's something, you know, something needs attention because, you know, so many times back in the day is to say, well, I have anxiety for no reason. I just have it. And it's, I'm happy as hell and I'm having anxiety. I just have it, but that's actually not true.

I think that it is, you know know there is something there and it's our bodies if you use discernment and sit with it there is something there that your body is trying to tell you it's like your mind body and soul are working together to form this energy to get your attention like hey something needs to change or you need self-care whatever it is and we're just not taught to listen and trust ourselves yeah and I think a lot of that happened as well happens with people because of the judgment that they have around it's like it's not me creating it it's happening to I swear I'm not doing it yeah it's happening to me right yeah versus like actually why and it's the same I call

them like bad emotions the people listening can't see me but like an inverted my inverted fingers I don't know I don't know what to call actually but there's the quote yeah yeah um like all of our so-called negative emotions in fact all of our emotions will stop that's their job is they are indicators they're there to tell us like, oh, this is in line with what you want to do. This isn't in line with what you want to do. And with anxiety, you know,

like what happened to me walking on stage, our brain can have built this like programming system around exposing ourselves to crowds of people. And so the programming just needs updating, but we can't always just update it by sitting at home, closing our eyes and wishing for it to be different or writing like exactly like, listen, I'm a coach.

I have lots of writing tools and techniques that I teach people. But sometimes you just got to go do the fucking thing. And that's like the quickest way. And that's why, you know, I speak about time hacking now. It's one of the big things of like, what's the quickest way to get me there? Because there's like the long way that maybe is more comfortable. And then there's the quick way that maybe is going to get me there faster. And it's not to say faster is always

better, but just even knowing you have that choice changes things. Okay. So just to clarify, then long-term would be journaling long-term would be sitting with it and discernment so what are the tools short-term when you're talking when you need to time hack yeah do this do the least comfortable things like and it can even i call them like discomfort opportunity bubbles and they can show up in the funniest ways like i was walking we live near a park and i was walking near a park and there's two paths and one there's like a crowd of people and one there's no one and my brain's like obviously we're going where there's no one and I'm like obviously we're not we're just gonna have to go the other way sorry brain but like I just want to on purpose do what is most uncomfortable for you signing up to speak at a

big event going live on Facebook like there's just so many little opportunities every day that we don't even realize we're feeding and fueling our old programming because we're making the choice that's the most comfortable like you know I don't work one-on-one with clients anymore but when I did one of the big blocks for people would be like I don't know I'm just not sure and I'm like I'm afraid of failing and I'm like yeah that's what's stopping you all the time I'm not going to be here and tell you I'm not going to make it more comfortable for you like that's the opposite of what we're going to be doing together we choose discomfort on purpose because of who you become when you stop believing your brain's limitations so we shouldn't be looking to make things comfortable I think it

was you know people would ask me what could they pay an installment? And I was like, no, I know it's highly uncomfortable, but it's designed that way on purpose. Like everything is designed that way. Sorry, people. It's uncomfortable. Yeah. You were saying short term, long term. I'm thinking, okay, so to me, that means, okay, we take an antidepressant or we take a quick fix with like a Xanax because literally that's what I wanted because we want to get away from our pain super fast. It's like the first thing our brains do. They're like, okay, stress leave. Let's not, let's not experience this. And for myself, I mean, I was on medication for a good seven years and what that did to me, just numbed me. It affected my memory, my weight,

I mean, my health, everything about me. Vicki, you said something in another one of your podcast episodes about, you know, what makes you happy and how happiness is an emotion and it's not permanent. Well, neither is anxiety. So just teaching people that this is not a permanent feeling and that you're, there is no lion that's going to come out, eat your face off. So starting with that, but I do love that you talked about that number you saw and how it made you realize it's a trend because I feel like it is such a trend right now. I'm seeing with like 11, 12, 13 year old kids, especially bragging about having, you know, medications for their anxiety and the CBD. I think you've said one in every 13 people throughout the country have anxiety. I mean, I'll sit in a room with like 20 girls and I think every single one of them will say they have anxiety. It's just interesting because as you say, it's like, but how do we know that we're all feeling the same anxiety?

You know, I don't think there is a one size fits all for anxiety solution. And that's why I'm liking and enjoying seeing the alternative things come up and come out. And like what Shanna spoke about, medication does work really well for some people, but often it is treating the symptom, not the cause. And a a lot of a lot of what's out there does do that but we are starting to see alternatives I even think I spoke to someone once who was like nutrition-based solutions like there's so many things happening I think the world like Shanna mentioned at the beginning like it's going to a really interesting place where like opening up more independent people more people that have experienced it creating the solutions instead of you have to go to medical school for seven years and then do you

know so it's like there's more access to information and solutions and alternative solutions than ever before so I think that's all amazing but again like if we just changed our dialogue around anxiety and we didn't allow it to be such this taboo thing it would lose its excitement and then we could we would probably speak about it less right yeah how important is bringing awareness I mean for me it was presence is it was actually to be to learn how to be present does it still come up because I mean anxiety still comes up for me you know and I'm just like oh where is this coming from I thought I was doing so well even like notice the way that you say like I thought I was doing so well as though there's something wrong with it like I'm

in a place now where I like don't even see it as a problem I'm like one of my more recent podcast episodes called anxiety is fuel so they're even going to the place of like not creating on purpose but once you have it knowing like for me anxiety so I've not had I've not had morning panic attacks since June 2019 which has been amazing so I don't definitely don't miss those and that's not what I'm referring to here but like when we choose to do something like start a podcast launch a business go speak on a public stage go live on Facebook go on a first date like meet someone we've not met before whatever it might be like that's us stepping

out of our comfort zone which is basically why anxiety was created so we are inviting anxiety in and when we see it as like we work with it as oh this is its job it doesn't need to stop me then we're just going to start changing our relationship the problem is not that we have anxiety the problem is that we give all of our attention to reducing anxiety which means we don't get shit done which means we fall behind which means we create more anxiety um with our self-concept to it we make it mean we're an anxious person and there's something different and wrong about us like the actual anxiety itself is vibrations in our body like what you know like the what you said about the feeling on our chest like we actually and this is the whole premise of my podcast is talk anxiety and get shit done because like

hey the anxiety can be there and you can still do things and I had a client once and she told me you know like I don't know like I spent like two hours sweeping everywhere and just trying to get rid of the anxiety and then I didn't get my work done and and I was like yeah of course like and she didn't get she didn't get rid of it and I'm like we're not supposed to get rid of anxiety we're not supposed to be we're not supposed to live without any anxiety and I'll give you an example here um if you are walking down an alley lot late at night and you want you want the ability to get out of someone you know a taxi or whatever you are going to want that ability to have those hormones to run faster it's like we've got this this dog right this really cute dog in our house

and but it's also an alarm dog not a cute dog we've got a dog in our house for security that's what i'm thinking of we had one our face right and his job is to bark when people come late at night and the alarm's off and everyone's asleep so we can be safe but he also barks when the mailman comes and he also barks when someone drops off their kids and he and like what what can you do he's gonna bark we just don't need to every time he barks we're not like get like everyone alert alert alert we just don't need to react to it it's just the dog barking and that's what we forget with anxiety sometimes it's just the dog barking it doesn't mean there's actual danger and the dog can bark and we can continue with our day we can continue making lunch and continue with our work yeah i love. You know, what's really funny is that what is unfortunate

that has happened also along with the trend of anxiety is that we're now diagnosed with it forever. Every time I go to the doctor and I see these, all these diagnosis things that I'm, that I have for life on my medical stuff. I'm like, who isn't stressed at one point in their life? Who doesn't experience five symptoms of fibromyalgia at one point in their life? Okay. Cause I see pain, anxiety, very, very, you know, on the same, well, not injury pain, but pain as in hello, you know, you're not doing anything for me. Even like last week, my kidneys were hurting.

I haven't been drinking enough water. It's like, these things are all messages, but then we're stuck with the diagnosis for the rest of our life. Like, I don't know how it works in the U S are you? Yeah, it does. So it doesn't happen. Like follows your ass forever. It's like, sorry, dude, mine must be like 20 pages fricking long. They I'm surprised they haven't come to my house and arrested my ass and locked me up in a mental institution. I know, but guess what it means? It means that I can get any kind of pain medicine, pain medicine. I can get anxiety medicine and all that for the rest of my life because there it is in my chart. Yeah. I mean, you wonder why we have so many issues with pill popping, right? It's wild. Or sometimes it's some people experience the opposite if they have that in

their chart then they're flagged so it's almost like not looking at it as a monster so like kind of embracing it and saying this is how you know god gave us this for a reason god gave us this emotion for a reason so now let's be let's befriend it but you know I will say my mom's is pretty extreme and I think hers is due to trauma that's stored in her soft tissue that she hasn't dealt with and so it gives her you know the restless leg syndrome came right after my brother passed away her anxiety is just this trauma stored inside of her yeah often anxiety is unprocessed emotion that we've just spent so long fighting down. So that's, and even then, then it's an indicator for us

that we need to process the emotion. Yes. I love what you just said. I think my anxiety is like that person that like gets a bad rep, but they always do, they're always trying to do right. Even if they're not always right.

They're like trying and we're just like, fuck you. And they're like, I're always trying to do right. Even if they're not always right. They're like trying. And we're just like, fuck you. And they're like, I'm fucking trying here. Like, I'm like, they're willing to get this bad rep to be bitched about, moaned about, argued with, fought with, you know, shut off with drugs, like all this stuff. And they're like, it's still here fighting to keep us alive.

You know what? I have an idea. We could call anxiety the sober best friend. And then you have the drunk best friend. And I want to talk about the drunk best friend. Basically, you know, that voice in your head that's like always just chatting shit and always just having bad ideas. I call it my drunk best friend. Some people call it like their roommate or whatever, but it's like, they've got your best intentions. They just shouldn't be in the driving seat. Like she's like wants to eat at 2am. She's like, get up, get food. She's like, always like wanting to send

messages to the wrong people. And she's all these stupid ideas. And she just like, won't shut up. Oh my God. Now is not the time. That is hilarious. Cause I'm picturing Mandy right here back in the day i love that analogy oh my god you're you're hilarious you know what else she says is so funny fuck straighted instead of frustrated i could love it oh my god Oh my God. So what's the difference between like having anxiety and having that signal to when you get to the point where you're depressed? Well, anxiety and depression, I would say are like two different emotions. And I do think they can come together, but they don't always come together. Like I also know people that do similar work to what I

do with anxiety with depression as well where it's like at what point have we built like such a disempowering shitty story around depression that if someone experiences depression they're like oh my god I must hide and sit in shame and there's something wrong with me and I'll never come out of it versus I am a human that experiences depression and that doesn't define me. There are totally two different vibrations too. You know, just thinking about that, just like depression, such a low vibration and where anxiety is like this excessive vibration. I read an article a while back about, you know, when your mind sees a sign that says, beware of dog on a fence you don't really think

about the sign but subliminal messages can trigger that fight and fight without you even knowing it those chemicals start to release so how can you control something and change the wiring of something that you don't even know is happening right which is why the goal is not to never have anxiety because if the goal not to never have anxiety. Because if the goal is to never have anxiety, we're like gonna have to always be on alert. Like you said, all of those subliminal things. You can be walking and see like a blue car that you like don't even really notice

that happens to be a car that like when you were younger, you saw a car accident. And you're like, the anxiety came from nowhere. I don't know how it happened. But you don't always need to know how it happened. Sometimes you can you can't it's more like now it's here what do we want to do about it yeah you know Shanna brought up what her and I talk a lot about and that is just bringing that awareness to the feeling you're having just being the observer of your thoughts in that moment can you talk more about that yeah so one of the first

things that we spoke about was you know so there's three steps that I think are like super clean simple power steps for anyone experiencing anxiety and the first is what we spoke about which is like what is happening in my body so I'm feeling my heart pounding feeling hot or cold I'm feeling my stomach swirling like describing and the second thing is why like what's going on in my brain what is my brain actually telling me we spend so long like arguing with our thoughts or like resisting them or judging them or fighting them that's why I call it drug best friend it's like we're on the same team versus just allowing and understanding like what is actually going on because another thing our anxiety does is like, it says something bad's going to happen.

Like let's say someone's worried, been worried the last year about losing their job. Like I'm going to lose my job and then it's going to be over. You let the anxiety finish you like, okay, but then what would happen if we lost our job? Like, well, we would maybe have to move back in with our parents and then we would maybe have to apply for another job and then we would get another job

and then we would move back out again. you know what like it doesn't finish the story so you just want to give it a chance to speak and say everything like the words themselves are not harmful they're just sentences um and we're so afraid sometimes to like admit our i call it our inner crazy to admit our inner crazy and there's sentences in our brain and we make them mean all these bad things about us when we have like 60,000 thoughts a day and every one of us has been programmed for majority of that 40,000 years in the same conditions which means we all have the same I call them shitty thoughts so like our brain convinces us that it's so unique and that we can't let it out and that it means bad things about us but your sentences in your brain don't

mean anything about you until you attach meaning to them and make them mean something about you attachments not just to i have something so it's going to make me feel better about myself but also attachments to material stuff attachment to people attachments cause so much clusterfuck in our head have you guys seen on netflix the documentary minimalism no oh highly recommend but obviously it's all about touching from our like material um attachments and i'll tell you so we've had an interesting few years because we're currently living in france before this we were in england before this we were in austin we went to austin like two days after we got married so that's like all within the

last 18 months so it's been quite a whirlwind um and you know one of the things that's happened by default by moving around so i think we've lived on four continents now before that moon as well yeah four continents in the last you know two years yeah I can relate yeah you need some grounding yeah you need to kick your shoes off and go walk in the park and sink your feet in some dirt listen when we got to France we were like we had an Airbnb and then we thought we would just find a place but we didn't so then we had like another Airbnb now we're in like an apartment we signed for a year I'm like ah we've arrived it's the longest we've lived somewhere the whole time so it's really nice we really appreciate that um but back to attachment it's like you realize how

little you need when you don't get to have the things that you want and like you know we had this i imagine mix cook a thing and i was like oh my god it's so good like no it's not here like there's just all these things that um we attach to we attach our safety to we attach our meaning to and it is material things it can also be other people i'll tell i'll just share for everyone listening like we moved to france during covid the circumstances where we didn't choose it but it happened I don't speak French and neither does my husband we don't have any friends here it's literally the worst time to meet people things aren't open you're not going out like I've had to almost also build my identity I'm super social but detached from having like a physical community which actually to be fair lots of people have dealt with this year whether they're here or not but detached from having like a physical community, which actually, to be fair,

lots of people have dealt with this year, whether they're here or not, but it really is like, we just don't really have anyone. Yeah, no, you know, I understand that because I'm a very, very social person. And I get a lot of my happy from being around other people. I love people. Feel your pain. Gosh, that must have been such a struggle. But I think that a lot of my happy from being around other people. I love people. Feel your pain. Gosh, that must've been such a struggle. I think that a lot of people are awakening and they are choosing kind of to minimize a lot of their stuff. So you teach people how to use their most powerful tool

that they've been given. And you say, that's the brain. I say, it's like your soul and your intuition. What do you think? I think that we don't know the power of our brain. We just know that we use a tiny percentage of it because it's like actually wired to conserve energy and be lazy.

And so we're up against the machine itself I don't think it has to be either or I think we have no idea how powerful the brain is we're just getting started but the truth is neither of them are measurable and we just had on Evan Alexander as a scientist it's amazing to hear, you know, someone actually say, because like we had it wrong. We thought that the brain created the consciousness, but actually it's the other way around. And he believes that the consciousness is the soul. But the bottom line is, is that not just the soul, but they all have to fucking work together. We're in this 3D body. So mind so mind body and soul have all got

to step up the way i spoke about it isn't like the brain is the most powerful tool it is like tool for us to use to use a tool okay so i wonder if we're even saying the same thing no no that makes sense and you know what vicky i love that you talk about that because why don't we take the time to learn more about what is really, truly like running our bodies and our life? Yeah. And you reminded me of me and Shanna. We'll get like this one little word and we go to Dr. Google and it sends us down this rabbit hole of this amazing knowledge, right?

And that's what you did with just the simple word anxiety have you found any other things that you know sent you down that same rabbit hole that you've learned amazing things about do you have any things on aliens no but that was my husband he's like aliens live amongst us i'm like okay maybe okay, maybe. I'm not against, who knows? Maybe we're the fucking alien. Yeah, right. Like where my work is centered more now has been on time. So I see like anxiety, like what I said about how quickly can we move with it or overcome it, that kind of thing. But really what I've realized more and more as my work has evolved with me

and that's why I do time hackers now I really help people achieve big results in a short amount of time because think and now I've said this you'll notice it how often in conversations we give time responsibility for all the shit and credit for everything that's good like oh it was the right time hey no it wasn't the right time someone probably like made shit happen to make that result or you know time heals all wounds time does not heal all wounds otherwise you would say all wounds would be healed in three days or it wasn't our time yeah like it's just not the right time it's like the time is right when you decide it is like Like I've taken on anxiety. We've kicked it in the ass.

I've put out a lot of amazing content. And now I'm like, I'm going after time. I loved how you talked about time hacking when you make decisions because you totally called people out on it. You were like that it's bullshit that you're saying you can't make a decision. And you talked about how when you are not making a decision you're actually feeding your fear and your self-doubt can you talk about that I agree yeah yes um so let's say we're faced with a decision to like um launch a business or stay in our job for example something um probably

quite common since last year um and we're like i don't know oh like should i shouldn't i i don't know like i'm just gonna like give it time and think about it but what happens is our brains these supercomputers are habit they habit builders and what you're asking it to make a decision between is doing what you're already doing where it knows that you are safe and comfortable and alive which is all it cares about or doing something new even though it could be more fulfilling and better and and empowering and like way better your brain's like yeah but we don't know about it so we end up sitting in indecision and the longer we sit in indecision the longer our brain is supercomputer has to talk us out of doing it well what if you don't make money what if everyone sees

but you can't tell people on facebook but what will this person think and that person that you went to high school with and like oh it's gonna just be like but you remember that time you tried that lemonade sand and it didn't work you just like you're just not cut out for entrepreneurship but also you're a procrastinator you need to be managed by someone else you need like or like literally gives it more time to come up with more reasons to keep doing what you've always done which is highly motivated for you to do so whenever we aren't making a decision we are fueling not make like the decision that we are in yeah and you already know it's kind of like the coin flip you know you're like should i choose the red car or the blue car good i'm gonna

flip a coin i really hope that it's the red car i really want the red car well then fucking buy the red car no we just don't trust ourselves we've got to fucking overthink everything which causes anxiety yeah and we forget that like we can make a decision and then make a different decision our brain convinces us that making a decision is a big solid thing where we're locked in for life but like I can tell you guys I used to work in finance I left it to go work in tech and then I went back to finance I was like oh I didn't like that I went back to finance and I was like wait this also isn't right and then I went into personal development like it doesn't fucking matter as long as you are making decisions that are creating change you keep moving I love how you said and by the way when you tell me that you can't make a decision you not making a decision is making a

decision so you're full of shit I would absolutely hate to fight with you you give me the biggest mind fuck because I'm not fast like that it's not that I'm not making decisions it's just my brain's like okay wait compartmentalize everything that's going on and then somebody's already like gone you you want to you want to know what though um you quick-witted people you and Mandy Mandy's just like that too she's quick-witted well you know it though? You quick-witted people, you and Mandy. Mandy's just like that too. She's quick-witted. Well, you know, it sounds like Vicki, yours came from a lot of, from knowledge and research. And, you know, that's, I mean, that's a deep thought.

If you think about it, if you choose not to do anything, you just made a decision. So hello. And people need to make these decisions in order to get into action. And you talk about that. You talk about how, what you do as a life coach is you want to empower people to get into action. And that is, I find the hardest thing to do. Why is the getting into action so hard and how do you help them get into action yeah it's like the same thing super super repetitive super simple we're wired to conserve energy avoid failure avoid rejection and avoid exposure

action is going to just open us up to all four of those our brain cycles because if you give yourself that time like you were just talking about we're talking about judgment oh now we're judging ourselves like we failed at that you give yourself too much time so just go do it take the leap of faith yeah and what a lot of people do is like all or nothing syndrome of like i call it like the fad diet mix it's like okay i've like never eaten healthy and then now i'm just gonna like eat a cucumber like you know intimate like something really extreme our brains like all or nothing instead of like when I wanted to start doing yoga I was like I'm just gonna do 10 minutes a day every day for a year except weekends and like listen there were probably a few days when I didn't do it but I just kept getting back to it and kept getting back on the horse and like you know there were

times my brain was like this isn't worth it like you need to do it for an hour you need to everyone's saying to do it for this and I was like I'm just gonna do like I made it so easy that by the end of the year I was like ah like not only had I built flexibility in my body I'd also built such trust in myself that I would see something through that then I was able to expand my morning routine four things at once which is actually quicker than trying to do four things at once where like as shannon said earlier where you have zero trust and you're gonna like go for it for like three days and then collapse and go back into old patterns so it sounds like you also it sounds like you also had to stick like a sock in your drunk best friend's mouth during that process yeah or just like you know eventually she gets bored she's like singing to herself i'm like all right you carry on love like you know eventually she gets bored she's like singing to herself I'm like all

right you carry on love like you know she's hungover in the mornings I would do it in the mornings yeah we're way more likely to pay attention to it's kind of like I don't watch the news and my husband does and I say to him like they did this study years ago and they saw that people were more engaged in the news when they were you know had fear-inducing stories and so they started with that's why our news is so negative and shitty because the job of the news anchor whatever you would call it channel is not to give just and righteous information to all it's to get fucking rated so do you ever see them i'm looking at them and you can see how excited they are that something horrible happened like all of a sudden they perk

up and like on a nightly basis it's not always like that you know they're usually just like you can tell they're exhausted and tired and then something bad happens and they get all excited i'm like oh god this is so crazy i wanted to read something real fast called The New Prophet. And it's a book by Kevin McNevin Clark. He was a guest on our podcast. His book is so beautiful. I just noticed he signed it and he said, Mandy, the cage is open.

And on the front, he has like a dove flying out of a cage. But he writes about fear and it's quite long, but I wanted to read like three sentences he says fear what a strange thread woven throughout the tapestry of our existence fear whispers in your ears fear speaks with a sweet tongue spreading its lies for control fear tells the follower that to follow fear is to have control, but this sweet-tongued manipulation is to gain control of you. Wow, right? Because that's truly what fear does. It gains control of us and every decision we make.

That's being able to just let go and trust and fly out of that cage, right? Yeah. You know what I appreciate about you, Vicki, is that Shanna and I are really about going back to the beginning of time. We do a lot of ancestral work. We like to look at patterns that go in epigenetics. And I love that you've gone back to the very beginning

and looked at why our brains were the way they were and why and how they evolved, because that just brought me so much understanding when it came to the anxiety and when it came to the fight or fight. And I'm sure there's a million other things. It's like, duh, why didn't I ever think of that? Like, why don't we ever think like time changes, things change and things evolve. And we were given those things for a positive reason now we just need to learn to implement them in a new way with our new surrounding and our new life in 2021 so thank you for that yeah of course and I would say to like anyone

listening and you both like the world is moving at such a fast rate now it's really it's a lot on our little brains even though our brains are powerful they're like kind of freaking out and what when we freak out we tend to retreat more which is like what you said about trust versus fear like how can we build more safety it's probably not going to be by getting pissed off our brain or pissed off our anxiety or judging ourselves you know even Mandy even just then when you say like oh why didn't I think of that it seems like it's it's a throwaway comment but underneath that is the like I should have thought of that it's like a judgment and so really I know it was one of the first things

that we said but if there's one thing to leave everyone listening today it's like check in where you are judging yourself that's always going to be the distraction we always have two options any problems that arise one is go to the solution and one is go to the judgment. Our brain wants us to go to the judgment. Stop letting your brain control you. You do have a witness. You do have a soul that can actually, and it should be, you know, this, that is your purpose. You're not here to be a brain literally and I love how you you said that the brain was a tool I feel like the body is as well we need to control these things and not let them control us yeah that's it completely because our brain says words we like listen but our brain

is literally a tool just like our hands and we can make our hands go left and right and we can make our brain focus on the screen and then focus on the sounds and then focus on the touch I wanted to also talk about really fast Shanna because I know you'll appreciate this Shanna was so busy this morning and last night putting out our podcast today she's amazing I just want to give gratitude to Shanna right now putting out so much no girl I know it's hard work but but Shanna is so one of her episodes. And I don't remember which one Vicki. And if you do please say it. Cause I would love the listeners to go listen to it. You even talk about how like acceptance from others has evolved

because back in the day, it was literally life or death to get accepted into tribes. And so you had to have people like you or you would die. Wow. Yeah. You're trying to figure out why it is that we have these primal things about us. Yeah. So it's called Other People's Opinions, I think. And it's like, I think it's in the first 20 episodes. Basically, we evolved in tribes. We needed tribes to survive. There was it's in the first 20 episodes. Basically, we evolved in tribes.

We needed tribes to survive. There was no surviving in the wild by yourself, like Vicky just fucking around, like trying to forage and build. Like that was not going to happen, which meant that we wanted to get the approval of others. We did, which comes into like a lot of what I speak about with the exposure as well.

So we really want other people to like us. We definitely don't want to piss people off because we literally rely on others for our literal survival. That's how we evolve. And then what I speak about the episode is after that, how we are conditioned as kids in school, you girls sounds like have kids. So you maybe see this, it's like, you know, be nice. So people like you don't get behave. So the teacher thinks you're a good boy. Like we're literally told to behave in certain ways. So other people will have opinions on us. So evolution plus socialization and programming school systems and all of this stuff.

Yeah. We just think that like, it literally doesn't matter. Some people will like you. Some people won't. Where you focus your brain on the people that like you're the people that don't is going to 100% create your results I think that our younger generations are more open and loving and kind and support that I feel like they are that I hope that we're all moving in a different direction with that and we're evolving out of that

but I do believe you know because I have healed through my ancestry, self-love, self, you know, acceptance and trust and all these things. But I had to be aware of them. So I like what you're doing. You are bringing awareness to people that, you know what, these things are within us, not from even this lifetime, right? This isn't something that maybe you experienced and didn't find in your inner child they go very deep and so do you feel that just with the awareness of this just with the awareness just that once you were able to connect that and have that

awareness when you're like oh well that stops with me I think it's awareness and application and those are the two things because it's like okay you have to remember it's awareness and application. And those are the two things. Because it's like, you have to remember, it's not like, oh, I know something once and now it's solved. We're going to keep fucking up. Like I actually had a client before this and she said something and I was like, oh, you thought you were never going to fuck up again? No, no, no.

As we get smarter, our brains get smarter. And like, it's a constant. Yes, you can have all the knowledge in the world, but until you actually take action does it turn into wisdom right exactly and like even for everyone listening to this podcast today I would say pick one thing and implement it today like one thing that we've spoken about it doesn't matter what it is it's like yeah if you can't think anything maybe that means you just need to sit with yourself and be present there you go well vicky

you've been so awesome um on sense of soul we do this thing called break that shit down and now it's time for break that shit down i was like is it okay if i swear just everyone would say, you are far more capable than your brain wants you to realize when it's fighting for your excuses and fighting for your comfort. And I really think every person in the world is uniquely placed to solve unique problems based on you seeing them

because we don't all see the same things. Just like lean into that. You have like a gift and you are capable of it. Thank you so much, Vicky. It's been a pleasure. I love it. I will say for our listeners out there, if you're in the car and you only have 15 minutes, or if you feel like you have a busy life, her podcast is amazing. She gets the message out. It's short, it's quick, and it is full of so much knowledge. I absolutely loved, loved your podcast. Can you tell our listeners where they can find you and what you've got going on right now? Because don't you also have like a free anxiety workbook?

Yeah, obviously the podcast Fuck Anxiety and Get Shit Done. And also there's a free Fuck Anxiety guide, which is like one one two paragraphs of a little bit of the science really easily understandable and then the questions that I used to ask myself and using my clients to pull myself out of anxiety and really identify what was causing it so that's vickilouise.com forward slash guide but it's v-i-k-k-i l-o-u-i-O-U-I-S-E. And then also Instagram, Vicky Louise, underscore, underscore, underscore. I also have a lifetime access group coaching program called Time Hackers, where I coach my clients to get more done while working less without hustling. Thank you so much for coming on. Vicky, thank you so much. I've really enjoyed

our conversation. I've learned a lot. So I appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you both for your time. It's been really fun. I feel like I'm just hanging out with some friends. Exactly. That's definitely how I've felt. Bye lovelies. Thanks for being with us today. We hope you will come back next week. If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate, like, and subscribe. Thank you. We rise to lift you up. Thanks for listening.