Sense of Soul - Finding Calm in the Chaos

Episode Date: August 12, 2022

Today on Sense of Soul, we have Stacy Berman PhD. Not only a doctor in Natural Medicine, Stacy is a Shaman of the Hopi tradition, works with Plant Medicine, she is a movement and somatic specialist, sex expert, a Reiki Master, trained in Bioresonance Analysis of Health, ACMOS Method, and Compassionate Inquiry practitioner.  Stacy created the first all year outdoor bootcamp in New York City back in 1999 and she has been named an NYC fitness icon by Forbes magazine, Stacy is changing the way people think about their health and wellbeing. It was during her rise in the fitness arena and her own that Stacy realized spiritual and mental healing is not only as imperative as physical wellness, but that they are irrevocably intertwined.  This began her work in psychoneuroimmunology. Stacy has studied under Dr. Pillai, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Dr. Amit Goswami, Dr. Gabor Mate’, MD, Dr. Baskaran Pillai, Dr. Thomas Sculz, MD and Dr. Bruce Lipton. Stacy has over twenty six years of experience in the health, healing and wellness industry where she worked with a broad spectrum of people from celebrity Chef Bobby Flay to triathletes to business people.  Stacy is presently writing a book on Body Mapping and Character Armor, that combines over twenty years in the health and wellness industries with scientific research to reveal how our thoughts and feelings are reflected in our body posture and movement. She is a presently in production for for a network TV show highlighting her work as a doctor and healer.  Stacy is truly a forerunner in the mind - body holistic health movement with tens of thousands of hours of real life experience. Follow her journey and visit her website: https://www.stacyberman.com https://www.facebook.com/StacyBermanPhD @stacybermanphd Visit Sense of Soul at www.mysenseofsoul.com Do you want Ad Free episodes? Join our Sense of Soul Patreon, our community of seekers and lightworkers! https://www.patreon.com/senseofsoul Try KACHAVA! Your Daily Superblend. For your gut, your brain, your muscles, your skin, your hair, your heart. Your whole health. Use this link below!  https://www.kachava.com/senseofsoul

Welcome to the Sense of Soul podcast. We are your hosts, Shanna and Mandy. Grab your coffee, open your mind, heart and soul. It's time to awaken. Today we have with us Dr. Stacey Berman. She is not only a doctor in natural medicine, but she is a shaman of the Hopi tradition. She is a movement and somatic specialist, sex expert, a Reiki master. She is trained in bioresonance, analysis of health, ACMOS method, and a compassionate inquiry practitioner. I am so excited to talk to Stacey. I know she's going to bring so much wisdom. So thank you, Stacey, for being with us.

Hey, how are you? I am good. Well, is there such thing as like a spa day hangover? I think so. I had a massage and a facial like late last night. And I've like been like this la la land ever since it was great I've been in Croatia for the last month and I leave back to New York on Thursday but it's been pretty amazing because it is it's like an extended spa day hangover because it's like all I did today was I went to the beach I mean, I had one glass of wine and I'm like, why am I so tired? So that I assume it's not morning where you are. No, no, no. It is 6pm where I am. How is Croatia? What's that like? It's amazing. This is my third trip to Dubrovnik and it's just beautiful. The ocean. I mean, look, let's see. Can you see out the window? The ocean right there. Yeah. Yeah. Food is amazing. People are so friendly. I mean,

ocean, the sea, the land, everything is just amazing. So, and then you said you, you're going to go back home to New York, New York. Yes, yes. On Thursday. So it'll be a rude awakening. Wow. Right. Go from that to the busy, huh? To all the people, all the pain. I was just looking at your website and, you know, it's really funny. The picture with you sitting in the midst of all of the chaos is what I would say.

Well, it's funny because the idea behind that photo shoot, because I have a few like that, I titled calm in the chaos. So it worked. Yep. Yep. That's exactly what spoke to me. You know, one time I was, we live in Colorado. I was at the Denver international airport, which is a busy airport as well. And there was this, no, I'm lying. It wasn't, I had went to new Orleans and it was like, I didn't want to say it was Mardi Gras and it was really, really super crazy busy. And there was this guy on the ground because it was probably, he probably got bumped or something.

You could tell he'd been there a while and he was meditating in the midst of everyone at this airport and it was like before I mean I think I was only like 18 then and yeah yeah yeah yeah I remember thinking oh my god like is he sleeping I didn't even get what he was doing but I was was like, wow. And you know, I have not, you know, full gotten in pose or anything, but in situations that are highly stressful, just kind of closing my eyes and connecting, taking a deep breath, reminding yourself to breathe. Exactly. I mean, I think that that's, you know, the major thing when I work with people, obviously, each individual story is unique. But I would say that a lot of it boils down to being disconnected from the self. And so moments like that, where, you know, let me just check in

with my breath, how am I breathing, and maybe not even doing anything about it, but like, am I taking deep breaths? Am I taking shallow breaths? Just little things like that. Or like, can I feel my feet on the floor? Can I feel my butt sitting on the chair? Like little things like that help people really to get back in touch with what's going on in their body instead of avoiding by just being

in the head all the time, which is very powerful. Just those little tiny things are so powerful. You know, I sometimes will catch my youngest daughter, I have kids from 25 to 10. And every once in a while, I'll catch her, her you know she'll be playing a game or something on her iPad and I'll catch her go and I'm like oh that is so good yes yes that build-up needs somewhere to go yeah yeah yeah one of my first teachers kind of on this path, he's a Siddha master of the Tamil tradition, so Southern India. And one of the things that we did was we worked these things and how it was affected at such a young age. And it was so profound to see like how it developed, helped the nervous system develop. And that was like 20 years ago. So now to see how that impacted them over the longterm. Yeah. So it's amazing. That's such important work. We're just so conditioned to think this is so, you know, far out there, you know, so

like, no, really not. These are very old techniques. This is not new as a new age, old age. And there's a lot of science that, you know, backs up almost all of the energy work and who we are as multiddimensional beings exactly yeah for my kids having different stand of generations right at gen z's and i've got uh well actually they're even like the end of millennials my oldest and then now i have this new Gen Alpha and she's so different. And I get that I am a different mom too, but the world is different.

It's less conditioned. You know, there's less hustle. Well, I still see hustle outside of me, but less hustle in my life, which has made a difference in her life. Right, right. I'm really interested to see how, like what with COVID and everything over the long term, just like facial recognition and things like this. Yeah, we had someone on not too long ago that threw out some statistic that kids were like one and two were stressed and depressed since 2020. In many ways, it validated and made me feel a little better that it wasn't just my kid

right right right right overall you know a collective that is so sad they're gonna have some PTSD for sure for sure for sure and like the things that I do in terms of character structure and character armor and facial recognition is like that's one of the first languages that child and baby start speaking before language before anything. It's like the baby and the mom look at each other, and they get a sense of it. And they're able to mirror each other. And this is like, this is not just like, Oh, hugging you, I feel so good. It's no, your baby is actually learning how to recognize the emotions of the mother and then the other caregivers and then the family. And it's called interpersonal neurobiology. And that's where it

starts the face and the nervous system. This started for Kinsley and she's very introverted. So it was really difficult for her. It's really pushed her back. You know, she regressed with that. It started at the end of her second grade year and all of third. And then, you know, some of fourth. And I remember one of her teachers calling me and saying, is she doing okay? Because I can't tell if she's sad, is she happy? She's like, I can't, it's so frustrating. I can't see. She goes, I didn't realize how much I, you know, could look at them and say, oh, they got it, you know, or they don't. Right. Especially with someone like Ken Slee, who's so quiet, will not say like, hey, I don't get this.

Right. Last year at the beginning, there was real bad. I mean, I can honestly tell you my nine-year-old was depressed, you know, fatigued and wanted to go to school, didn't want to do anything. And now it seems like since maybe spring, things have been perking up. And I'm like, she seems like a kid again. That's good then. One of the other positives about it is that children are still, their nervous systems are still quite flexible. So with the right inputs, hopefully that's, you know, they're able to readjust. Knock on wood.

Yeah. But it's interesting times. Like that fear. And yet they don't even really know what they're in fear of necessarily, you know, like their fear of death. But then it was like, you know, Ukraine, you know, we think that our kids don't know. Of course they know. I mean, first of all, they know more than any generation

prior. They've got their phones right here, 24 hours, TikTok or whatever. They know prior to you because they don't watch videos. Right, right, right. Yeah, it is. I mean, and also besides that, it's like outside of the amount of information that they have access to also that kids are not hypersensitive. They're sensitive to the feel of energy around them. And when I mean that I am not, again, not talking about like woo woo stuff. I'm like, like the electromagnetic fields of people, they're very sensitive. And I think through conditioning, as we become adults, that part gets shut off, not with everyone, but it dulls down a bunch. And so kids outside of the

information that they're receiving also, they're very aware of like all the inputs going on. And so, so multi-layered, you know, so I have, I have a proof for that one. So we just got a puppy, not to like, so Mandy and I both got puppies that are from the same litter. Okay. They both have ear infections, unfortunately. But so I have a son who just graduated and he's autistic. So we have two dogs. We have a mini Labradoodle and now we have a ginormous puppy Labradoodle. But the first dog, our first dog, Rascal, used to always attack Ethan's ankles.

And Ethan would be like, I'd be be freaking out freaking out and did this for years so when we get the new puppy the new puppy starts doing it and I'm like oh no and I said Ethan close your eyes and pretend your legs are of steel he hardly has any ego I'm telling you I tell him these things and they work for him so good he closes his eyes and he's like legs of steel and he walks like a transporter and you know that dog stayed far away from his ankles yep yeah he does it every time so he'll i can see him like reset and remind himself. Legs of steel and he starts walking through the living room. Yeah. And that's exactly it. Right.

It's like, cause nothing has changed outside of the intention and the like vibratory field of energy that's transmitting information to the dog. Right. Right. Isn't that amazing amazing that same thing happened with him his freshman year he would go into the hallway and his legs would come home sore because they would shake because he'd be so nervous right but we did arrange it because he was he's supposed to get out just a little bit before so he doesn't have to deal with the crowd because that's right on his IEP and I and actually I do this in my classes where we walk towards each other and sense each other's field by putting

our hands out and then I'll have them put some sort of like protection around them and then walk towards them and you can literally feel this resistance and so he went to school that day I and I said you know we imagined whatever he could visualize I forget what it was I think it was fire or something and it worked for him he was so confident but it's like all of our thoughts and conditions keep us in this box to say that that's not possible. Right. I mean, that's a beautiful, I mean, I don't, I don't know if you know, or maybe you do, but just to mirror that back to you, that's exactly a boundaries exercise.

So anyone who has had boundary issues and, and people like, yeah, so that's, I mean, that would be, that is literally an exercise I've done with people who have boundary issues. And like, we start where I'm standing on one side, I'm standing in there standing on another side. And I ask, can I come closer? Yes. One foot, two feet, three feet. How many?

And then when I get to a point where they're like, that's too close. And then I start moving this way. Can I move that way? And it's really, it is a way for the person to start feeling what their own energetic boundary is. And then, you know, of course there's a physical boundary, but they're different. And that's quite interesting. And I mean, even one of my clients was walking, is this too close? Is this too close? I was like, okay, you have boundary issues. Yes. You're so right. Cause as someone comes closer to you, you know, that feeling like you're in my space, we're in my space right now.

I can't even see you. Cause I'm farsighted. You're way too close, but you can feel it in your body. And I think that that's something that we all should know is, is what it feels like in our body when our body is saying that's too much. This is not, this is not a yes. This is a no. Yeah. Another exercise, which again, you can play around with if you want to work, uh, Ethan, you said is your son's name with Ethan. There's a practice also that one can do where because of course, a boundary, like if you have, let's say you have, you know, six foot boundary around you, it's beautiful. But if you get into a crowded place that that boundary may not be

possible. So there's an you can actually then if you're able to focus that, and then energetically pull it in to your core, so the boundary is still there energetically, you've just contained it a little closer to your physical body. And it still has that same feeling of, oh, but this is my boundary. And then of course, you could let it out. And like just practicing with that to see what that feels like. I actually worked with someone who had autism, and it was she was quite sensitive. And as she described it, she picked up so much energy from outside of her that as she was describing it, she thought she was dissociating from herself. So that was a practice that we did of, okay, so you have this field of energy that you could feel everything out here. Now let's bring it closer in and in. And it helps her to drop it inside of herself. Obviously, I don't

know, even, but just some ideas. I was thinking about my daughter, she's an introvert and, you know, and maybe you can explain this. I mean, it's hard, I think sometimes for people to understand all this stuff, because what we're talking about is it's basically information that is coming in as into our fields and it can come in from all different directions, depending on how, you know, how strong that information is around you and heavy or, you know, all of these things. Right. And a dog is, you know, you know, all of these things. Right. And a dog is, you know,

you know, right. And all of that. And thinking about Kensley, one time she had said to me, cause she's very sensitive to sound. Like I would almost say I've said before, she's got like misophonia, like it drives her crazy. And one day we had a talk about it and I was so glad that she was so raw and open with me. She goes, it's torture. It's so hard. It hurts, you know? And I just was thinking, oh my God, that's so sad.

Like this isn't just an annoyance. She's actually speaking about pain that she's experiencing. You know, you're supposed to learn, right? How are you supposed to focus on following directions? When, you know, your focus is around those things. And of course, this is something physical that would maybe be more difficult. You may need something over your ears or something. Right, right.

But, you know, and she's, she's sensitive inside and out. And this was something that I, you know, you know, she's 10, so we're putting it all together. But, you know, she gets reactions on her skin from stress. Reactions also from like cold and temperature. Just everything. This child is like so sensitive in every way. And like trying to get her to accept that about herself and still love it to give them tools to be able like you were just saying to control these things yeah and I think I mean again she's 10 so it's

maybe hard right now but I do think that a sensitivity to energies around you and your senses is actually a beautiful gift it's just a a matter of, you know, like learning to work with them instead of against them. Questions of like, well, what is, and again, she's younger, so you don't know how this would go down, but what does she not want to hear? What is painful for her to hear?

So like how these things manifest in physical form. So it's a manifestation of like, it's too, like she's hearing too much and it's, she's too sensitive. too like she's hearing too much and it's she's too sensitive so like but maybe there's something again not like a voice is speaking to her but is it trying to show her because it's manifesting in a particular way because of she'll get to know that though right and you know through exactly you get to know your you know your energy and i'm not i know when this happens i need to take a deep breath or i need you know through exactly you get to know your you know your energy yeah I know when this happens I

need to take a deep breath or I need exactly and she's also sensitive to like spirits and stuff like that always has been I mean this child is you know when I say sensitive all the way around but you know I was wondering like you came into this journey this amazing journey you know you know creating things for people that were maybe even unheard of back in the day. I mean, like an outdoor bootcamp and stuff when that wasn't really a thing. So were you like that as a child? Were you sensitive? So, so funny. I was very, very sensitive. And I even remember before bootcamp and all that stuff, this is very embarrassing, but I'm going to tell you one of my best friends and I, we would sneak out when we were like 13, 14, we would sneak out

of our house. And I would say I was sleeping over her house. She would say she's sleeping over my house and we would like go hang out and stuff. And like, I remember one day we went to get pizza and there were those little, you know, salt and pepper shakers. And we each took salt and pepper shakers and put different spices and put our hair in it. And then we wore it as jewelry, which is very embarrassing. But the reason I tell you that is because we called each other the season sisters. And then someone in my neighborhood saw that and she called me a witch. But I think she was she was trying to insult me, but I was like, thank you. Thank you.

So I share that only because there was, yes, I've always been more sensitive or not more sensitive. I've just been sensitive emotionally, physically to the energy around me. Like I could walk in and I could tell, okay, this person is sad. This person is happy. This person I'm staying away from. So it was just that kind of stuff that I've always been connected to, I guess you could say. Yeah, for sure.

I mean, I was like you. I was very raw and I felt like I was just soaking it all in like a sponge, willingly taking, you know, I used to remember even praying that this person's pain would come to me instead because I just, I couldn't bear it for them to have it, you know, which is so interesting, but which caught up with me. I mean, I was diagnosed with myalgia, you know, and all the things. Yeah. And so what did you do to work through? You know what? I mean, I was on so much meds because of all this diagnosis, you know, it was like anxiety,

fibromyalgia, ADHD, you got all these things, right? And I'm like, we got a pill for this, pill for that, pill for that, you know? And then I was like, who am I? I couldn't cry. I was such a sensitive person. I was nitty baby my whole life. Then it was like, someone would tell me someone died and I can't even cry. And I'm like, this isn't who I am. You know, my kids are on the roof and I'm like, Hey, you guys might want to get down. I mean, like I just was non-responsive like naturally or normal. I was like a robot. What really hit it was my memory. I start, I always had a very good memory and I couldn't remember just like my day. Cause I would have like four clients and then my day would end and I'd be like,

I don't remember that one. So I called the doctor that I was like, I'm freaking out. I can't remember anything. I think something else is wrong with me now. You know, at first I was like, you need to give me another pill for this right which my b12 was always low my b12 so I've always struggled with okay I did I got off of all the meds and I said I'm gonna go to therapy to figure out what it is that's wrong with me something's got to be wrong with me but it really wasn't that anything was wrong with me I mean, seriously, Stacey, what was wrong with me is I had zero tools, zero. Exactly. Yep.

I was stressed. I had four kids. Right. My dad, dad, whatever. You could see where these diagnoses were popping up, where all of the major transitions in my life, that instead of honoring those deaths, right. And acknowledging them, I just wanted to not feel. Yeah. I mean, that's what I tell people too. Like it's that if you have, if you are depressed or if you are anxious, and I would say if you are sick, even, I mean, not with just like regular cold and stuff, but if there is something that is manifesting in your body, that those are signs that something is not right.

And so better to examine where it's all coming from, instead of trying to do a medication for I mean, sometimes you do need medicine. I'm not shitting on medicine, but with tools, right? Like how do we understand what the root of this is? I have, for example, one client, she has eczema. And as we started going through it, we recognized where the root was from. And also we look at it now as a sign because she would be able to feel when she was going to have eczema, you know, rash come up. And so it was like, okay, so your system at this very moment is feeling unsafe. And so what can we do for your system to help it feel safe and to get regulated, instead of doing all the medication? And yes, like, I mean, we've used coconut oil, and we did all that stuff. But that there are things that we can do to our nervous system to

help shift that and to help shift how your body, how your nervous system is functioning and how your biochemical makeup is functioning outside of any medication. And if you need medication, okay, but let's look at what the root causes first and help adjust that because that's where it's manifesting from. Yeah. Wow. So how do you go for her? So, I mean, now she's, you know, we're still working through it. She has tremendous trauma from childhood that we're working through. But as we're working through it, we're going through a process of, okay, if I have an outbreak, that means my nervous system was feeling unsafe. So nervous system can go from, you know, fight or flight, it could go into freeze, it could go into collapse. So based off of what she is experiencing in that moment would tell me,

okay, you're in sympathetic overdrive right now, or you're in collapse right now. And so if I know what state you're in, then we can work to help you get help get you out of that state. And then also, yeah, and then we can examine, well, what got you into that state? Yeah, what triggered it, what triggered it. And so then it's really the story, right? It's not not the narrative of life, what happened, I went to the store, and then this person said this, it's the story of our lives that's playing out in a pattern in our nervous system. And so if we can look at that pattern, then we can start giving the nervous system what it means at each moment. If you're if you're in sympathetic overdrive, your heart rate is going to be fast, you're going to be sweating, you're going to shallow breathing. So okay, you feel

unsafe. Now, how do we get you into safe? If you're in freeze, okay, you're in numb now. So how do we get your nervous systems to come back online? So we and we do this, obviously, we don't want to go like straight in and overwhelm the system, we want to do what's called pendulate and titrate. So titration is basically a somatic experiencing term. And what it means is when you have, let's say a traumatic experience that you're working through, you don't want to go straight into the deep end of it. You want to just little drop, little drop, little drop at a time so that each time you build up a little bit more resilience to entering that space. So how I kind of relate it in a way that people can understand is,

let's say you've never worked out a day in your life, you don't start by running a marathon, you start maybe you walk around the block. And then the next day, maybe you walk around, you know, two blocks, and so on and so forth, until you eventually get up to building endurance. Exactly. So you're building that capacity to hold more with titration. And then pendulation is a process of going from a positive experience, an anchor experience, what I call an anchor experience or a somatic experience, he calls that, which is a positive experience where you feel safe or whatever elevated emotion you want to connect with. So that would be a process of like how we started out where that man in the airport was just meditating. So it might be, okay, well, take your place to, take yourself to a beautiful place

where you feel calm and relaxed and your system feels whatever elevated emotion it wants to feel. And then from there, we might go a little bit into what that experience that's a little darker, heavier is. And then we go back and forth. It's like polarity is that duality that to find that. Exactly. Exactly. And what it does for the person, it allows their nervous system to recognize that even if it goes into the dark place, it still has the capacity to come out because I think

a lot of, yeah, a lot of times people get scared. They don't want to do this because they're like, I get stuck in there. And so it teaches that overall in this world. I mean, that's one thing that I've really been like kind of studying lately and watching is that we're so like, oh my gosh, we're only going to focus on the good. We're only going to really give all of our energy if it's totally, you know, just effortless and just amazing and patriotic. And, you know, we, even we look at history and we only really learn the good stuff. I mean, I've done so much ancestry work and it just blows me away. I'm like, holy cow, this is like true history and really none of us did.

But also, you know, I've been studying the Gnostic gospels and that's like a huge part of that, you know, what they teach, but that's not our regular teaching. Like from, I was born Catholic, very deeply rooted in my family. So it's always just like, don't even acknowledge that bad. We're going to only be good. You know? And I don't think that that's natural. That's something in our physical bodies really want to accept. Right. I mean, that's what I call toxic positivity. It's like you're, you're nothing in life is bright and sunny all the time.

Day, it goes from day to night. We go from inhale to exhale. There's always expansion. There's always contraction. And that's a natural flow of life. You know, I like to look on the bright side. Like even when I'm at a dark place, I could say, okay, I'm, I'm processing something. So that's good.

Now that doesn't mean I feel good. That just means, okay, I know this is coming up for a reason. And so for that, you know, there's that silver lining. Like I know this shitty right now, but I know it's coming up for a good reason. But you allow yourself to do it. You're not like, I'm going to numb it. I'm going to ignore it. I'm not not gonna pretend it's not happening to me which avoidance became like my like I was a pro at avoidance I was so good at it I mean right the world could be blowing

up and I'm like it's okay it'll be fine you know but I have learned so much through the past few years about that duality and accepting it. And when you do that, what happens is I think is actually you disconnect from some of that fear that you aren't even acknowledging that's actually running rapid within you. And that's exactly right. That's what I was saying earlier about everybody wants to go here, right? So they're living, oh, I'm so positive. And like, I don't want to look at that and I'm avoiding and all that stuff, but your body is still processing it. So if you've not dealt with the fear or the shame or the guilt or the, you know, lack

of trust for other human beings, then that's still playing in your nervous system. You're not getting away from it. You're just not thinking about it. So it's still, and that's, again, where a lot of the, you know, manifestation of physical disease comes from. It's this inability to process those repressed and or unresolved emotions. Oh, that's so true. Let me tell you, I had an experience and our listeners will know, because it was such a big deal. You know, I'm like, you think you think you've come so far. All of a sudden, wait a minute, where'd that come from? It was in the middle of the night too. It was like, I've always, and this is like TMI to some people, but not people who listen to our podcast.

But, you know, I've always hated to be woken up in the middle of the night to have sex. I mean, like, I immediately, like, clam up, rejection, mad, just get it over with. I want nothing to do with pleasure. This is not something I want. And, you know, and, you know, my partner, like, he always consents you know that there's this rejection was one night well actually I should mention the week before I was teaching a Reiki class and we were very much focused on you know just sitting with where we might have pain well I had a lot of lower back pain so I was getting all this attention to this space and I was really kind

of honing into the womb and the sacral chakra with the reproductive system. I'm kind of going through menopause. I am going through menopause, but I mean, just all of these things were, oh, I wasn't then though, but I was having a lot of stuff at the sacral chakra, lower back focusing there. Well, I mean, I don't blame coincidences, but like that night he woke me up and I'm just like get it over with and then afterwards I'm literally just sitting there with my eyes wide open and I remembered when I was 11 years old and I was like all of a sudden it's like I realized I had an experience where I had been violated you know it's not that I didn't remember, but I never thought that it affected me. And in this moment, and I had talked about it. I remember even saying stupid stuff,

like, well, you know, so weird, never really affected me. Um, yeah, in that moment I could feel every muscle in my body, remembering it at that moment, tightening up, rejecting, holding in as much I could. And it was, it was crazy. And then I'm like sitting there, my eyes wide open. My partner looks over, he's like, do you have something to say? Are you okay? In which he would never ask me like four in the morning. We're not going to talk. So I told him, you know, he's like, well, you know that you're safe with me I mean I've known him since second grade of course I was like yeah you're right I do I was like but my body didn't and I was like this is what's been happening so the next day I sat with what he had said you know

I am safe right and all these things so I felt like I really brought a lot of awareness to it a lot of healing so I'm like you need to wake me up and try it again. He's like, Oh fuck. No, no way. I didn't think you have to. Well, to make a long story short, I mean, it did go away. I mean, it was really miraculous. Yeah. And I had no idea it was there. So how much are we caring that we don't even realize that is affecting our life? Yeah. I love that story because that, again, it points to this idea of the embodied experience versus the intellectual

understanding. And I feel like so many people, not everyone, of course, but a lot of people have an intellectual understanding. Like, yes, I know my parents did this and this happened and blah, blah, blah. But it's disconnected from the physical experience of it. And that's actually, so to your point of how do we know, so that's one of the things that I do, which I shared, I think, with you is this idea of character structure. Now, character structure is this idea that when we have intense and or chronic enough experiences during developmental times in our lives, so specifically in utero to 10, 11, 12 years old, so when the body is really developing and the nervous system is really developing, that when those experiences are unresolved, they get trapped into the tissue, posture, and musculature of the body. And so by looking at a person's posture, then you can start understanding what their psychological and emotional and developmental issues are. Now,

of course, the details are not known by just reading a person's body, but the emotions that are unresolved, and that live in the body are, it's really amazing, because for me, well, once you learn how to do this, it's helpful to bypass the conscious ego mind, right? Because the conscious mind, the ego mind is always, it's trying to keep you alive. It's trying to keep you defended. And so of course it's never going to be like, oh yeah, I was molested and now I'm going to feel this because it doesn't want you to feel that because it could be overwhelming for the system. Again, it's not good that this happens, but it's a good way to understand what's going on in your body outside of what the brain or the consciousness is saying.

Because this consciousness is always going to try to protect you. That'll make sense. Yeah. That is so what happens. And it is another thing that I noticed is how we're so amazing. First of all, it's just like such amazing creatures. But you know, when you were talking about body language, of course, you know, there's the obvious, like when you're hunched over and like protecting, but it's almost like we're protecting

our heart in some way, you know, that heart or like you're nervous and your hands go over your stomach or when you're just appalled and your hands go over your mouth, you're speechless. Right. It's like we have these natural healing reaction that our hands do, you know, it's like, but it's beyond muscle memory, right? Of course it's muscle memory, but it seems to be beyond that. It's a spiritual memory. It's like remembering, you know, something primal in us. And that's exactly right. It's a remember. Yes, it is. We see it through the physical body, we see it through the musculature. But the imprint is a universal imprint. Okay. And so like, for example, if somebody is scared, if you go across time and across culture, unless they're a psychopath, they're going to do the same, you know, they're going to, their body is going to react in a similar way. And this is that like the universal

imprint that when you smile at someone across culture, across time, you know what that means. Yeah. You know, you might not know them, but you know what that means. You may not speak their language, but you know what that means. Right. And that's the body language. That's the beauty of it in a way is I don't need to know your story. I can read your story on your body. Oh, I love that. You know, I came across, I think it was something on Gaia and I wish I could quote it, but I can't remember. But it was saying that we have 22 chromosomes that are identical, all of us. And then that was like the 23rd was your male or female. Right. And I was like, wow, that's so amazing. But you know,

when you're saying like, we have these things about's so amazing. But you know, when you're saying like, we have these things about us, like even, you know, when you comfort someone in your hand just goes towards them, you know, that seems like the hands are very healing, like Reiki and other energy practices. And now I was talking to a doctor not too long ago, where they were saying doctors used to do a lot more hands on with hands, you know, and now you have, oh, don't get too close to your clients, or, you know, you've got all these rules and things that are going against our natural process of healing. I completely like that whole touching in contact with people is such an important part of healing. As I mentioned earlier, this idea of interpersonal neurobiology,

which is this idea that your nervous system develops in relationship to someone else, first, because you're in utero when you're with your mom's nervous system, then with your caregivers. So it's like the baby on moms, right? Exactly. Right. Okay, exactly. And so because trauma will happen in relationship with someone else, there's always, again, because you're taking care of the child. And if you're not giving the child what it needs in that particular moment, it could translate that into some sort of trauma, even if it's not big trauma, like abuse, but the child will not have had that need met. So anyway, I say all this because that means then healing happens in relationship also. So you can't heal trauma that was born out of trauma related to people on your own.

And so that's actually the test is when you're in groups, are you going through your trauma response or your patterned responses, or is it something different and new? So anyway, I say all that to kind of circle back around to healing touch is very important. It's a useful tool to get the body to understand things in a new way, not just the brain. So I'll share this with you. Also TMI, but I'll share it with you. I went through a very, very dark place a number of years ago, and my partner, he was trying in different ways to help me get out of it. And the one thing that helped I say would probably I would say, probably saved my life was every night when I was going to sleep, he would just gently pet me for 20 minutes to an hour, however long it took. What that did is taught my nervous system

that I'm safe. And he could have said you're safe, you're safe, you're safe, you're safe, you're safe a gazillion times. And while my brain knew it, my body didn't know it. And so just that. That makes me almost want to cry. You know, my son with autism sometimes will actually come sit next to me and his sister, he'll do it too. say will you will you tickle my arm he just wants to process because he is a little hypotonic like he could get hurt he lost every tooth and I had no idea I'm like what happened to your teeth right you know I always think of him because with his it's so obvious but we all have these things right right? Yep. And we get cut off from it, like just through conditioning and socialization and modern life. And we get cut off from it. But there are I think there are people that are still very connected to that stuff. And it comes out maybe in a way that society isn't

used to. But that that's actually a beautiful gift. You know, it's a beautiful gift to be that sensitive. Yeah. And so, you know, one thing on your website that also stuck out is healing the disconnect. And that's exactly, you know, what we've been talking about. So one of my fields of study is called a psychoneuroimmunology, how our thoughts affect our nervous system, affect our immune system, our endocrine system, our metabolism, so on and so forth. So, so back to what, so you were saying, you've suffered from fibromyalgia. So what that, again, I don't know your story that much. But what that says to me is that there's a part of you. And again, it might not be conscious you, it might be subconscious you, which rejects its own self.

And so it's probably some sort of belief that was, you know, you took on at a certain age in your life as a defense. If I reject this part of myself, then I'm going to be in alignment with my family values or how my family functions or whatever the case is. And then it's going to manifest in a condition. Again, fibromyalgia may have come from not knowing much of your story. No, but you did. That's, that is, you know, I mean, I'm from a very Southern family, deeply rooted, you know, women just took care of their kids, serve the men. And I was trying really hard to live up to that. And I spiraled out of control

because my body didn't agree with that. I was definitely the first person to break that, you know, and I don't have pain anymore, but it was painful going through the process. That's absolutely for sure. Exactly. So your body was saying no. So your body was saying no, because you couldn't in some ways say the no. So your body was like, all right, yep. We broke the mold with that for sure. But you know, I have learned to anytime pain comes in instead of just take a pill, you know, really sitting with it and loving it and nurturing it and trying to get to the root of it. Cause I feel like it is a message just like emotions. Same, exactly. Same, same, exactly. I mean, if I could give you some questions you might want to explore with it outside of just sitting with it and soothing it, but like ask, what are you trying to teach me? And also, when you feel the pain,

going into the pain, like feel wherever part of your body, you feel it, go into it, ask it, how old are you, it's going to tell you. And most often, it's going to be three in utero, four years older. And so you see that this pain started before it manifested in this condition. So just exploring it along those lines. And what do you need right now? I have a deeper question than on that. No. Yep. It seems like most of that might be, you know, what I experienced that maybe I didn't realize was in my body. But what about the genetic stuff? Because I know that's been a huge part of my body, but what about the genetic stuff? Cause I know that's been a huge part of my journey, killing those things. And I am a hundred percent proof

that there was things in my subconscious mind did not know existed that once I brought awareness to, I was able to actually change my results. So that's the patterns and reactions that are subconscious. Yeah. So while we may not be able to access the explicit memory from ancestral stuff, the implicit memory is still being played out through our genes, through our nervous system. So that again, it might not be as clear cut, but it will play out. If you can let go of needing to have the explicit or narrative. So what you're saying, you can get through the first layer, that superficial one. Exactly. Then you can access the implicit memory that could be from this lifetime, that could be from your ancestors.

I'll give you an example. So my grandparents on my father's side were in Europe during World War Two, were Jewish. And so they were hiding out in the forest for many years and they were part of the resistance. Right now. So I know this to be true. And as a young kid, I had this recurring dream of me and my father walking down the street in the Bronx where I grew up, and we just be walking down the street, and then Doberman Pinschers would be chasing us. And that was the dream. They never caught us. But I that was the dream. And I had it for years and years. Right. I just thought this was a dream. I had a weird recurring dream. Maybe I picked it up also from like, I don't know, a memory. My grandparents, who knows? Right? Yeah. Then I read last year, I read a book

interviews of children of Holocaust survivors. And there was one guy who told the story of he would have a recurring dream of being chased by Doberman Pinchers. Wow. I mean, that's even more insane. I don't know that we're related or not. I don't think we are. That dream, that fear, and that specific manifestation and dream form in some way has a trajectory

in this population is mind blowingblowing because that's even that's not even gene that's like the subconscious of well i'm just like yeah yeah so that's even more insane really to think about but that can happen yes yes that And so, but back to your question of that, if we can you don't actually need to know the physical thing that you don't have to know the whole story that happened. We just have to know where it's at and know that it was bad and let's get rid of it. How do you feel about that? Um, so I think that it's, if we're talking about healing the body, we don't need to know the story. We can heal the body. I think that there is a benefit though in, and again, it's not always available. Like sometimes our trauma happens in utero. You're never going to remember that. But I think there, there are times where it, it is in some way corroborating or validating.

Let's say it's more validating to, to, to be like, oh, that happened to me. And therefore, like, these are the things that happened as a result of that. Right. You can see it playing out in your life. Yeah. So I can see there is something about validating the experience in knowing it. That was for me. Right.

And at the same time, I think that it's, you know, we don't necessarily need to know it. And sometimes we don't have access to it. So that's not even, that's not even going to happen. You know, that's interesting. You said Europe because, you know, we never think about that, but my daughter, when she was born, you know, there was like this thing where she couldn't breathe or they took her away right away. And I had done a past life regression with her one time. And she had had this recurring dream that she was naked and there was, she would wake up with this weird taste in her mouth.

But when I brought her back in the past life regression and I started her through the womb, we didn't get past that because that was so significant to her. She was like, Oh my God, I have this taste in my mouth. I know this taste. I, I know this taste I this is the taste in my dreams oh my god this is what it is I mean it was so big right and right one thing that she had connected so she was able to connect something right right and what she connected was that many times she feels alone even though she's in a household of people right and she felt like this disconnect and I you know, and we, we talked

about it. She goes, I think it's because they took me away from you, like right away. I went from being with you forever. And then you were disconnected from me. And I was by myself, like for a long time, for hours and hours. And I think that really must have affected me. If it can affect you like inside the womb, then trauma for sure can affect you. Of course it can affect you. If you think about it, just what your daughter said, again, we're back to the kids being geniuses, being so aware of things. But if you can imagine, yes, she's inside of you for nine months. And then all of a sudden she's, you know, aggressively expelled from your body because birth is, it's pretty aggressive, right?

She's in this, like there's lights, there's everything that sounds, there's new things and everything. And then she's taken away from the system, from the womb, from everything that she's been used to. How long was she away from you after she gave, after you gave birth? Well, I think it was like a good four to six hours, which is a long time for a baby. That's a really long time. Yeah. And because if you can think of now, if we can put ourselves in the place of that newborn baby who for nine months, totally safe, warm, got all of her needs met.

She was like, just chilling. And then all of a sudden for four to six hours, ripped away from this safe place. How much fear would that cause that? Well, and guess what? I just remembered she was left in the birth canal too long and she choked on the amniotic fluid. That's what that taste was. I mean, so that is amazing, but she was only really experiencing this in her dream. And then I brought her back to that space where she was able to almost like a dream space. Right. She was able to actually connect with that when I brought it to her attention.

I didn't actually, I mean, I bring a lot of people through that wound first, but I didn't know it was going to be that significant for her. We didn't even get hardly past. I mean, it was like, okay, but that's it. We're good. So then like, if we could connect it back, right. So making those connections help to validate the experience. So it's like, oh, that's where it's from. So it does help it penetrate to a certain level. And then the embodiment, the body work is to get the body to understand that and to get the body to get so right. Okay, she made the connection. Oh, that's where the taste comes from. That's where the sound is. That's where the anxiety is. Okay, so now I made all the connection. But now how do I get my body to recognize I'm safe

so that's where it's like okay so now there's some body stuff that can be done to get the body to understand that and that's the real healing right it's like we made this connection in our head and now we have to make also the connection in our body and I wonder now and I bet she would agree she's very mature she She's 23, but she's a Pisces always been, you know, very intuitive. I'm a Taurus, but I've always been attracted to Pisces. I understand them. She says she likes weighted blankets. You know, she's got a thing for blankets. She's got a thing for soft stuff. She's definitely sensory when it comes to touch and all of these things.

And guess what? Her love language is spending time with people. Ah, yeah. She was taken away. She's the only one. In fact, when I was trying to figure out what their love languages were, I actually, when she walked in the door, she was like 16. I gave her this huge hug and she was like, what are you doing?

And I was like, okay, well, that's not your love language then. She's like, why did you just do that? Don't do it again. But then like later on, I said, how do you know I love you? And she was like, I don't know. I like when we spend time together and go on adventures. And yeah, that's so interesting. God.

So, so what do you do for your clients? You know, I know that you also work with their health as well. Right. Basically when I work with people, I work with them on five different levels. So we work with the physical bodies. Are you sleeping? Are you what are you eating? What are you drinking? Are you doing movements? And it's not just again, fitness related stuff. It's actually because the nutrients you put on your body can have an effect on the way you think and feel and your movement and back to the character armor. If you're locked

in certain positions, if we start getting the body to move in new ways, that's also going to change the way you think and feel. So body stuff. Then we work on emotional patterns, psychological patterns, spiritual patterns. Sometimes I when I talk about spirit, depending on the audience, I might say spiritual needs or purpose. Like, do you feel like you have a sense of purpose. And then connection, community environment. So do you know, because those are going to have an effect to if you feel you're doing everything wonderfully, and you don't feel like you have a network of people or a place that you feel safe, then all of this is great, but you're going to still, it's still going to affect you. So typically, I will work with people when they come to me for an issue, whether it's some

sort of needing healing from trauma, having some sort of pattern in their life that they can't get out of or break free from disease or disorder manifesting in the body. And then we look at the broad view of all of these different inputs. And we start adjusting them to be more in alignment with each other and with the true self. What I find is that when we start looking at all these and making adjustments to all of them, then whatever is showing up, whether it's a pattern, whether it's disease or pain manifesting in the body, whatever it is, those start to heal. Yeah. So that's how I work with people is looking at the big picture and how all of those things are affecting the physical body. Yeah. You're like the multidimensional doctor. Love this. No, but you know, I use the discernment exercise

so often to get people to, you know, close your eyes. I want you to imagine something positive and feel it in your body and close your eyes. Imagine something, you know, imagine you hate that thing and see how it feels. Why we are not taught this from the very beginning, I don't know, but I'm hoping that we are shifting into this. I mean, we can trust our bodies to always guide us. And now it's time for break that shit down. I think knock on wood that people are becoming much more aware and maybe they don't know how to do it, but they're also recognizing that their body there's an innate knowing if we just kind of pause and listen and give the body what it needs. Not. And when I say body, I don't just mean physical body, but emotional body, psychological, all those that it will do what it needs to do so I do think things are shifting at the same time you know it

takes work and people often want a quick solution and this stuff doesn't it doesn't happen overnight there's consistent work that has to be put in to create in the body. So it's like I can see it like people are more open, want to do it, want to take their health in their own hands. But also, can I just have a pill for this? You know, and also it's work, but it is not like it's not like, okay, go out and run a marathon. It's just small little adjustments every single day and small little moments of, huh, I just reacted. I don't know why I reacted like that. Be curious about it. Okay. What, what am I making this mean right now? So it's not, again, you're not lifting a building over your head, like kind of work. It's like just little,

little things every single day that add up over the longterm. Ah, we need more doctors like you. We need more people like you. I'm so glad that you came on Descents of Soul. I really appreciate it. Where can everybody find you? They can find me on my website, StaceyBerman.com. And then my Instagram handle is StaceyBermanPhD. S-T-A-C-Y-B-E-R-M-A-N. I just say that because most people like to put E's in my name and that's a pet peeve of mine. You do so many amazing things, plant medicine, you're a sex expert. I read an article. So good. You also do Reiki, you do all the things. Yeah. I think that you bring so much wisdom and thank you so very much.

Thank you so much, Hannah. Nice to meet you. Thank you so much. Thanks for being with us today. We hope you will come back next week. If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate, like, and subscribe. Thank you.

We rise to lift you up. Thanks for listening.