Sense of Soul - Finding Joy in the Little Things

Episode Date: January 18, 2021

Author Simone Knego joined us to share her story! Simone tells us about her book and about her ordinary life filled with extraordinary moments. As a wife, mother to six children (three dogs), and a serial entrepreneur, she splits her time between her family, businesses, and personal growth. She realized that within the small choices she makes every day to do good  actually have the power to inspire others. With this book, and sharing her stories, she has inspired others to embrace life's ups and downs and realize the impact you're making on the world. Check out Simone’s book, found on Amazon and most book stores. www.simoneknego.com Also visit Sense of Soul at our website where you can read blogs, shop for gemstones, take an online course, schedule a tarot reading and more! Don’t forget to Rate, Comment and Subscribe!  www.mysenseofsoul.com

Welcome to the Sense of Soul podcast. We are your hosts, Shanna and Mandy. Grab your coffee, open your mind, heart and soul. It's time to awaken. Today we have with us Simone Canego. She leads an ordinary life filled with extraordinary moments as a wife, mother and six children and three dogs. She is a serial entrepreneur. She splits her time between family, business, and personal growth. She's realized the small choices she makes every day to do good, actually have the power to inspire others. Today, she's here to talk about her book, The Extraordinary Unordinary You. Find your own path.

Discover your own journey. With this book, she hopes to inspire you to embrace life's ups and downs and realize the impact that you're making on the world. Just being you. Thanks for being with us. I love your book. Thanks. This book is written for all of us who are always giving to our children and to everybody else in the world and not giving enough. No, you're more than enough. You're like extraordinary. The things you do every day inspire the people around you. The things you do every day matter.

And it was like where, you know, I'm listening to this speaker and thinking like, okay, that's never going to be me, but that's the whole point. You matter just because of, you know, what you do every day. And it really does. It makes a huge difference. And I think we have to look at ourselves differently because I think for a long time, I was like just going through the motions, rats in the minivan. And, you know, I burned the burgers because I got distracted by something else

or, you know, all the things that happen every day. And, you know, I think you get in this rut where you kind of get down on yourself and then you have to take a step back and say, like, I'm really making a difference. I loved the van story about the rats because a lot of people, there you go. Cause a lot of people would have been scared. Oh, they're going to be judged. I loved how you were just like, there was probably crackers stuffed in every corner and every seat because that is usually what most mom cars look like. And it wasn't like this beautiful story of just raising my kids in my minivan. I mean, a lot of people could have been like, what the heck? Who has rats in their van? You owned it. It is what it is. Like it is. I mean, with that many kids in the car, like for me

to crawl back in that backseat all the time to clean up, you know, you'll, you'll say to the kids, is it clean? Oh yeah, it's clean. And then you're like, other than the 17,000 crackers back there, sure. It's clean, but it's, you know, it's, it's real life. Like we, you know, I mean, that was a little shocking to come home and have like, you know, that shit all through the van, you know, it is what it is, you know? I mean, that was kind of like, and having the guy and having the, the guy that did the estimate say, I have never seen this in my entire career. And he, and, and when he said I had to total the minivan because rats ate your seat.

Okay. That's, that's pretty good. I can check that one off the list. You know, when you have those, you know, three, three truths and a lie or whatever, you know, that game that people play, I'm like, I can say that one and people are like no way I'm like well that's a good one no that is definitely real I can see that happening to me for sure my kid I in fact I really want to read that to my older kids because they will laugh their asses off because really I mean I had you know four kids and definitely well actually I'd say even before I had kids I never had like the cleanest car you

know I've just trashed I especially like in my early 20s and stuff and then you know I had kids close together as well so it was like you know had, they were 21 months apart, my first two, and then four years and he was autistic. And then, you know, and then a baby. And I mean, at one point, I had three kids in three different schools, you know, three different sides of the world, you know, three different times and carrying around a newborn, you know, to everywhere I went. So cleaning the car was the last freaking thing in my mind I actually remember I actually remember Shanna one time getting in the back of your car for some reason and I found like an old hard cheeseburger

no way oh yes way I've never heard that one I know I guarantee there's some french fries down there and they still look like french fries as moms you know sometimes we just gotta laugh at ourselves a couple weeks ago I was asked to do like a child of the week banner on Sloan for her classroom and it came home yesterday and I was looking it over again and I put like her favorite sport her favorite show yeah I put her as being born in 2004 and she's six and it was sitting up in the classroom for like a month and you know what I did I cracked up and I hung it on my fridge and I'm like so what that's funny I mean it just had like things happen all the time. Like we just, yeah,

it just is what it is, you know, like constant chaos. A friend of mine was saying to me today, she got a new Peloton. She's like, I love, I just love it. And she has done so many classes and I'm like, yeah, it was on my schedule for today. Let me show you the rest of my schedule for today. I was like, so I got distracted, didn't do the Peloton life happened. You know, that's kind of how it goes. I kind of feel like things eventually get done, but I always say I make a list. I lose the list. I make another list. And usually by the time I make the next list, like I I've kind of done most of the items and typically kind of on time because the kids will remind me like did you remember to do this did you do it did you do it I'm like yes I did and now I'm going to actually really go do it and it'll be here by the time you get home so you won't know the difference oh my god you are so me I'm that is so much like me and later in life when and it actually happened like with two of our kids so far that they thanked us and we were like, wait, what?

Like the older kids, like you did a really good job. And I was like, go me. Yeah. But I mean, you have to learn to celebrate even the mini triumphs throughout your day. Because otherwise you could just like really focus on all the things you didn't do throughout the day and it could just really bring you down. Yeah. Unfortunately, I think that's what a lot of people, me included, I used to do. I used to be like, oh, you didn't get that workout in. And that's kind of like my whole day was like ruined because I didn't get the workout in. And now it's kind of like, you know, okay, but think about all the other things that you did get done and the people that

you were able to speak with and share your story with. And, you know, and all those things I think really make a difference. Yeah. Your book, it was a breath of fresh air because I think that we have been conditioned to think that just being is not good enough. Just being a mom, just being a daughter, just being a wife, just being is not enough. And I used to definitely feel that way. And I held myself to extremely high expectations and I still do sometimes. And I have to step back. So your book isn't about like some

grandiose, although you are grandiose. What I mean is it's not like about this specific, like crazy thing you went through. It's about that. Just your everyday things that you do say and experience are enough. Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, we, we, we, we do like, we have these, um, you know, this, and, and it, again, it took me a long time to realize that, okay, wait, that is really important, you know, as you're, you know, changing the diapers and cooking the food and, and trying to do this job or whatever you're, whatever you're doing. And then you're, you never feel like, like that it matters. And, and it all does like, I mean, and I think that's the whole point that it's not that, you know, just because you're not the, you know, celebrity, it all matters,

you know, it, and, and it isn't a, it isn't a, it isn't a new idea. It isn't a, you know you know, when people say, what's the, what's the really big idea? And I'm like, well, the idea is that you matter. And when you go through and everybody has a story and that's the other piece of it is that when you go through and realize that by sharing, you know, your stories with other people that you, you can connect with them, especially in a time where, you know, we are so divided, you know, really, you realize how connected you are versus how divided you are. And, you know, that's how I feel when I, you know, tell someone my story. At first I was like, oh, why do they want to know? And then I would start talking and they're like,

oh, wow, that that's such an amazing story. And then you get them to tell their stories. And then you're like, wow, you have amazing stories too. So I think that's, it's such an important thing in our lives to communication piece of connecting with each other. You can really lose yourself in the whole motherhood thing. I mean, I know for myself, I wanted to be a mom. Like that's all I ever wanted to be when I was little. I just wanted to be a mom. I felt that was my absolute purpose.

And I was so happy to be a mom. And then all of a sudden I was just a mom. That's, I thought that was my absolute purpose. And I was so happy to be a mom. And then all of a sudden I was just a mom. I mean, I had nothing for myself. I had no self. I completely lost myself. And then I was stressed and then I was medicated, but you are more than just a mom. And I think it's so important. I think that your book screams that. Nobody's just a, right? You, you are you and, and you do amazing things and we don't see it that way. Most days like, okay, maybe I should have cleaned the minivan better, or maybe I should have, you know, the things that we, we focus on that we didn't do. But, you know, I think that we're, we're more than that. And,

and, and definitely society has kind of conditioned us to think that we're not. And it's, and I think it's just not, not true. I think that really everybody matters. And we were a funny, funny random story. We were waiting in line to go through the Starbucks drive-thru and like, I was staying in like this right place so that people could still pass if, cause we were in a parking lot. So of course we're, we're just standing there waiting in our car and a woman comes around us and passes us and goes into, into the drive-thru line. And it was my daughter and I, she was like, what? And I was like, well, I was trying to, you know, leave space so that other people could pass. I guess she didn't realize I was waiting for the drive-through. And I think that after that, like our conversation got like

quite negative about the person in front of us in the drive-through. And so, you know, cause I'm like, what, like seriously? And so of course, then we get up to the window and what happens? The lady in front of us paid for our drinks. And, um, I was like, so I said to my dad, she knew, she knew, but it was like one of those moments, like, okay. And my daughter's like, you don't need to be the asshole back, you know, because like she realized what happened. So then my daughter's like, why don't you buy the drinks for the people behind you? And I was like, you know what? That's a great idea. So that's what we did. But you know, because like she realized what happened. So then my daughter's like, why don't you buy the drinks for the people behind you? And I was like, you know what, that's a great idea. So that's what we did. But you know, like these moments where you feel like, so frustrated by life and it's so ridiculous, right? Like it just, I always say to my kids, like everything is a learning moment. Sometimes it's what not to do. And like probably my comments

in the car were what not to do. Like don't call people names because they cut you off in line. I call those, uh, I call those foot entering mouth moments when I'm humbled real, real fast. And I'm like, all right. Okay. I just got super smacked in the face, but I'm grateful for it. And then I get to take that opportunity and say, all right, kids, don't be an asshole like me. Yeah, it was. It's funny. We just had this lady on yesterday. She wrote this beautiful poem. I'm going to send it to you because you'll appreciate it and share it with your daughters.

I mean, it's just a beautiful poem about that, about how, you know, we don't really know the struggles of someone else. And I tell my kids that all the time, you know, we don't really know the struggles of someone else. And I tell my kids that all the time, you know, when they're aggravated, I'm like, well, you don't know, you know, what they're going through right now. You know, I mean, they could have just lost their mom or dad or something, or in a hurry or for something very important, they just found out. I mean, I do always have empathy for, for people that way. Usually I try to be very empathetic. That was one of those moments where I was like, I just, I just want a coffee, but that's all. I just want a coffee. Oh, I get that. My family knows not to talk to me or address me or ask me anything until

I've had at least two cups of coffee. Good morning doesn't work. Yes. So it's interesting to me. You call yourself a serial entrepreneur. I've done many things in, in my life. I think until now, I think now, like I've kind of found where I want to be. I've done, I, from education, I was a CPA. So I worked at an accounting firm and then I, we bought a horse farm and I taught horseback riding lessons and ran a summer camp. And, and then we, when we moved to Florida, I went into, well, first after we adopted the kids, then I figured, okay, I'm already kind of a teacher. So I might as well, I'm already kind of a teacher. So I might as well go back to school to be a teacher. So I went back to school to be a teacher and worked as a teacher for a couple of years.

And then I got an opportunity to work in medical sales. And then I got an opportunity to work in sales for a coffee company and for a cereal company. And then I started doing public speaking. And then I wrote a book. Yeah. So when I say I've tried a lot of things, I've tried a lot of things, but I kind of never stop. You know, my husband will always say, okay, what's next? And I was like, I think we're good right now. Well, although he keeps saying, okay,

write these stories down for the next book. And I was like, okay, I'm writing them down, but like the focus is on this right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, it basically means like someone that can't make up their mind. That's, that's my definition for me of serial entrepreneur. I could never make up my mind of what I you want to do. Cause you know, she's already thinking about college and what she wants to be. And I'm like, you know what, whatever you think would make you happy, go try it. And if it doesn't work, then you quit and see, that's my personality. I, if I don't like it, I'm done with it. And I walk away and I have no problem doing that. There are some people that feel committed and they will stick through it as far as long as they possibly can. Now I'm also lucky because I had my husband financially to support me. So I was able to walk away. She's like, I feel like if I were to go and get a degree in a certain thing, I have to stick with that forever. I'm like, no, you sure don't. You can keep trying

things until you figure out what makes your soul happy. Yeah. I, I think for me, I, you know, you have to make these decisions when you're so young, right? Like, okay, you, you, you got to go to college and know what you want to be for the rest of your life. When you don't even really know that, you know, where you want to go to college, you just go there because that's where you get in. Right. So then, and then you have to make all these like huge life decisions that are supposed to stay with you forever. And I think that's so tough. Like for me, it didn't work. Other people did my husband, he knew he wanted to be a physician and that was his life path was, you know, completely about that. And for me, I'm kind of like, I don't love this. Let me try something new. I don't love this. Let me try something new. And, and I'm in the same boat where I was very fortunate that I could, could make

these changes and, and different choices. But like I said, I think, I think this is where I'm supposed to be now. I like, I really love storytelling. I think this is the right path. We'll find out, right? Yeah. Why don't you tell us a story about Kilimanjaro? Yeah. Actually a friend of ours climbed Kilimanjaro and he asked my husband after he finished it, if, if my husband was interested and my husband was like, nah, but call Simone, she'll probably be interested. I said, yeah, I'd love to do it. It was with Livestrong Foundation. So as part of going on the climb, we raised everybody that participated in this specific climb. We raised money for the Livestrong Foundation. I didn't know any of the people going. So basically I basically I showed up in Africa and met my roommate, met my tent mate, and we became really good friends. The whole thing was really understanding leadership in really tough situations. I mean, so when you're climbing a mountain like that or trekking a mountain like that, like, do you stay together as a group? There's a lot of decisions that you have to make for safety and to make sure you make it to the top, those kinds of things. And we really

did. We came together as a group. It was such an amazing experience. I really kind of celebrated a lot of families who had lost family members or friends to cancer, people that were fighting cancer at the time. So my dad actually passed away last year from cancer. He had a lung cancer. He wasn't a smoker. And by the time they found it, it was already stage four. So, you know, I kind of go to, you know, things that happen in my life kind of have, you know, a bigger meaning. And so, you know, he wasn't sick when I did that climb. I didn't have, I had like my, my aunt had had cancer, but, you know, nobody in my direct family had been truly affected by it. And so really, you know, looking back at that moment, you know, again, bigger purpose of

things that really doing something that kind of honored my dad before I even knew it was going to honor my dad. So really kind of a special moment. So sorry about your loss of your dad. I lost my dad a few years ago too. It's hard. Yeah, it was really hard. And my mom is, she's a really cool woman. She, she grew up in rural Pennsylvania on a farm. Her mom had a sixth grade education. Her dad worked in a brewery in the coal mines and she knew she wanted to be educated. And so she started working for a family when she was 14 and saving all her money to be able to go to college. And she did, she got into

the, she got into Pittsburgh and she went to college and then she worked three jobs in college and then got into medical school. And so she was one of five women in her medical school class. She married my dad during when they were doing their residency. I think the hardest thing for me is, you know, was watching her take care of my dad because, you know, she had kind of, when they say broken the glass ceiling, I mean, she was, again, her whole life was just working so hard to, to be a physician, to raise kids and then watching her take care of him at the end. It was like, it was just,

it was just so hard to watch, you know, she just loved him. And, you know, he'll always be for me, like first man I ever loved the man I compare everyone to, you know, like just loved him and, you know, he'll always be for me, like first man I ever loved the man I compare everyone to, you know, like he's really an amazing, he was amazing man and hard to, hard to look back, but you know, I think how's your mom doing? She's doing really well. I think at first it was really hard, even though, you know, she was a physician, he still did everything, you know, in the house. So he did all the bills, he did all the financial stuff. And so she, she had to learn all that. And so, but he was good. Once we found out that he was sick, we kind of started like doing stuff

then so that she didn't feel lost at the end. Well, right before we went into lockdown, we got her a dog. She loves to have something to care for. And obviously she couldn't be spending time at our house going back and forth. We didn't want her to get sick. And oh my gosh, the best thing we ever did was to get her a puppy. Like she's like, I mean, trust me, she's still, I mean, it's hard. You lose the person that you're with for 50 plus years. she's like, I mean, trust me, she's still, she's, I mean, it's, it's hard, you know, you lose the person that you're with for 50 plus years. So now she has a puppy and she takes care

of her puppy and she talks to him like he's a human. And I'm like, he doesn't understand you. And she's like, of course he does. And I'm like, okay, mom, it's refreshing actually, because I feel like she really has found this piece of love that she didn't even know she was missing. So it was really, yeah. My mom's saying she didn't, she had never paid a bill in her life. And she got a dog too. And right now my mom just decided to move to Louisiana.

She's, we've lived here for like over 30 years, but her family's in Louisiana. Yeah. It's, it's hard. It's when you have someone that you're with for so long, like it's, it's hard to adapt and, you know, you know, I guess I had not ever considered that this would ever be possible that my dad would have bolted out and left me in this situation. I'm like, wait a minute. You've been taking care of me my whole life. Now wait, what's

happening? It's, it's very difficult. Yeah. Definitely a part of my life in a stage. I just never thought about, I wasn't prepared for, I think that, you know, I, I'm like, I think I will never not be a parent in some way. Cause it's like, nobody tells you that the minute your children get to the adult age, you're going to be dealing with your parents. Yeah. Yeah. I think that in the handbook that doesn't exist, that should be a big chapter of like, going back to that whole parenting piece of your parents, which is the hardest thing to

parent because they don't listen. Your kids kind of know, I mean. They don't want to ask for help. Yeah. The boundaries kids kind of, I mean, yeah. And so when you look at that and I do, I see mountains as symbolism for me as well. So is that what happened when you were on that mountain, getting up to the top and, and having to work hard, you know, the commitment to getting to the top, right? I mean, it's not, it's a lot, right? You're the things that you're used to are kind of all gone. You have to really commit yourself to everything, every step you're taking, but when you make it to the top, I think it's the, the looking back down piece, looking back at all the things that you've done

to get you to that point. And it's not just about, you know, the climb up the mountain, it's every choice that you've made kind of gets you to the next step in your life. And for me, that was kind of that moment where I looked back and said, maybe some of those things that I thought were a big deal, those things are not a big deal. And all those things that you know, those struggles I had, it got me to this exact moment in time. And I think it was a really amazing thing for me to be able to kind of look back and say, okay, this is why, or, you know, this isn't why. And I think it was, it was, it was one of, one of the coolest things I've ever done. Some of the greatest people I've ever met, one of the hardest challenges I've ever had. And really one of those moments in my

life where I really was able to look back and say, okay, all of this was part of what got me to here. It reminds me of that show on Netflix. I loved it. And I didn't think I was going to, I'm like, how can a show about a guy climbing a wall be amazing? And then my husband forced me to watch it. And I was like crying at the end. It's called the Dawn Wall. Oh my God. It is just spectacular. And it's, it represented so much more than you would think him being able to just get up this wall. It was a beautiful story. I highly recommend it. But I think it's important, even though climbing that wall was this amazing way to reflect, it brought you back to realizing that all

these little things that you were doing in your life were just as important as climbing that big mountain. Oh, absolutely. I mean, that really was a moment of all of these little things that kind of made me who I am that pushed me forward on the next step of my journey. Yeah. And that's why I think that all the choices we make are so important because they do it's, do you turn left? Do you turn right? And it could make a huge difference in how you move forward. So yeah, I mean, getting to the top fantastic, but realizing all the little things that got me there even more important for sure. So I love storytelling. It's definitely part of who I am and who I've always been. It's, I believe my purpose. I love telling stories about anything and everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I am an open book and I have no shame in any of it. And that makes some people very uncomfortable. Like my neighbors that came over a few weeks ago for Halloween. I don't know if they'll ever come back. No, but I love storytelling I always wanted to like take a mic down to the homeless and just record them and talk to them about their story because everyone does have a story so I totally aligned with doesn't have to be you know this amazing plot I think that you're bringing attention to something that people need to really look at right now. And that is, it's the small

things, you know, it's the little things that we do right now, just being on this call with you. It's just making breakfast. It's just sitting with your child, reading them, maybe a book for five minutes. Why do you think as humans, we don't give ourselves enough credit for the small things? It's so hard. I think it's what we're surrounded by. I think that, you know, the things that get the most attention in our world are the big grandiose things and not just like, wow, good job. Mommy made breakfast this morning. There's days where I say, oh, good job. I made breakfast this morning. Okay. Some days I'm like, I don't have time for breakfast, but you know, like those things are important, but we do, I really think that we're surrounded by, I grew up before, you know, any of the social media stuff, you know, you took a

picture and that was like a big deal, but now everybody can see everything. And so it's always the next big thing, or what do you need for this? And I actually think that this time at home has kind of, at least for me, kind of reset a lot of those things. Like, do we really need to go out to dinner there? Do we need to do any of that? Like, what do we really need versus, and do we even want that anymore? And I think that kind of our expectations have changed. I do think that we just are so surrounded by, you need this, you need this, like, you

know, with marketing and everything that it's, we kind of, you need this, you need this, like, you know, with marketing and everything that it's, we kind of forget that we, that's not how it needs to work. When you were talking about the, the little stories, it's funny. I think the same thing as we go around town, there's like a couple of guys that I always see. There's one guy who rides this really low bike and another guy who wears this military pack and he's always hiking. And I just, I've said to my kids, like, I want to write a book about the stories of all these people that I see that I see them doing, you know, the same things. There's one guy that I know he's homeless, but he's always sitting in this chair at the bus stop and he's

always on a computer, but he's there all the time. You know, all of these stories where you're like, it's fascinating. I mean, everybody has, has a story. Yes. And not only do they have a story, but we get to learn something from their story and we get to give them an olive branch. Like, here you go, here we are and listen to them with compassion and empathy. And then it brings us more understanding of not only them, but ourselves through their stories. I love that that's what you have come to as far as being your purpose. Because authenticity is coming up in our world right now. It's part of the shift that's happening. People are starting to really value genuine authenticity.

And I think that's one of the most beautiful things that I've seen come out of COVID. I mean, if you look at stuff that goes viral, it's a lot of it is hilarious. Like yesterday, there was this girl that posted about how she went for family photos and she was pissed at her boys because they wouldn't stand still. They're crying. Her husband was annoyed with doing these family photos. And the photographer caught these pictures of her, like being angry and mad. At one point, she's flipping off the camera and it was raw and she was just having a bad freaking day and she was just annoyed and you know what it went viral you know why because it was real because we know we've all been there and now

people are realizing there's a lot to be said in showing not just the good and that you know it's okay it's okay yeah it's okay. And it makes people realize, oh, I'm not alone. Like, that's the thing. Like sometimes I think we see just everything that's so perfect and you're like, okay, well, that's not me. You know, am I the only one that is, you know, pulling out my hair over this? We tried to do photos of the kids a couple of years ago and at best, like they all look miserable and I was like this is this is what's going out there and they're like you can't do it I'm like oh yes I am because like this is you know one year I made them all wear onesies adult children wear

onesies and it's real I was like you guys wear them around the house like what you're gonna pretend you don't no you do like so so just be who you are I I love that. And what an amazing legacy and tangible book to leave behind for your children. And you're teaching them that they don't need to be perfect, that it's okay to show all aspects and to tell all aspects and the beauty in sharing. Yeah, that's just really cool. It's interesting when you write a book about, and you include six kids. Oh kids. My youngest daughter was like, can you not include me in the book? And I was like, okay, cause that's going to go well. The five out of six Canego kids. Okay, great. Sure. Don't worry. Don't worry. She's like, okay, I'm worried. After we got some hard copies in,

I saw her, she said to me, I'm never going to read it. Okay, fine. And again, that's real. Like, you know, like you try your best and still sometimes it, you know, it, it doesn't go the way you think it's going to go. So there were some books sitting on the counter and she goes and she grabs one and she doesn't think anybody's looking and she tucks it under her sweatshirt and she walks up the stairs and I'm thinking, oh, this is going to be really interesting, you know? And so she'd get a call from her like 45 minutes later. She says, I'm thinking, oh, this is going to be really interesting, you know? And so get a call from her like 45 minutes later, she says, I can't, I can't believe it. It is so good. Like I, I thought I was going to hate it. She's like, I, I, I love it. I don't know what to say.

You know, just one of those moments where for me, like it was such a special moment. She's like that story about, you know, no, I couldn't stop crying about that story about Ari, I couldn't stop crying about. And I said, well, did you read about you? She's like, not yet. And I said, okay, well that's next. And then she did. And then I was, did I do okay?

She's like, yeah. She goes, you know, it's funny. I didn't, obviously I didn't know any of that stuff. So it was really interesting to read about myself. It was like, it was really good. So a really special, special moment. That's so awesome. I, you know, that's probably one of the main reasons I haven't written a book is because it's hard to tell my story without adding in my husband who I've been with for 20 plus years. And he's a very private person and he's got things that he's still working on

that he doesn't want the whole world to know. And my vulnerability makes him extremely uncomfortable. And so it's like, how do you do that? You know what? It's an interesting question. I mean, definitely there are stories about my husband where he's like, I don't remember it exactly that way. And I said, well, that's why I didn't ask you because if I didn't let anybody read it before it was done, because I knew that they would have their input, which would change. And it's my story. It's my, it's the way I saw things. Right. And so he kind of, you know, there's like some funny stories about him and, but they're real, like we're in Italy and I got to go to a wine tasting and he took the kids to visit this medieval village. And of course they get there. And first thing she has to do is pee.

And this is after he had already crashed the car. So that's another part of the story, but they find a bathroom and the way the bathrooms work there is that you put in a coin, the door opens, you walk in, you go to the bathroom. When you walk back out, the bathroom washes itself and then it re and then you can put another coin in. Well, my daughter ran in right after someone ran out, the door closed, the wash cycle went on. She got completely washed. They couldn't open the door. So the door is locked until the wash cycle goes off. And so, you know, you're like, goes off and so you know you're like I'm never going again anywhere you're like don't let me go with daddy um so but like you know it's like hilarious stories that are you know real real life and I love it I didn't I didn't want anybody

to read it before because I'm like I don't want you to tell me don't do this or don't do that like this is how I'm writing it and um I love it. Oh my God. You just triggered a memory. I took my daughter to Mexico and she had never sat on a, is it called a bidet before? And this toilet like heated up. And I mean, it had like a remote control and I'll never forget she was in there and I kept hearing her go, Ooh, wow. And I was like, Hey, are you, what are you doing in there? She's like, mom, this is the coolest toilet I have ever been on in my entire life. I, she's like, I don't want to get up. And she was in there for like 20 minutes. This was not a positive experience. This was more of, I think she even wrote one of her senior essays. She wrote about the trauma of the washing toilet.

So, Oh my my god she needed therapy from the toilet oh yeah she still will talk about it she's like I don't want to talk about that piece but you know like again I didn't I so for me that was the way to move forward and it is that I just said I am gonna I'm gonna write it the way I want to write it and then you know I don't think you're gonna hate me when it's done yeah you might be like, I can't believe you put that story in there, but you know what, again, it's real. Like it's, and that to me was really important is to make sure we showed all sides of how we are as adults. And, you know, do you have a, do you have a lot in your book about your adoption and having six children and those decisions and choices?

Yeah, we do. You know, I tell the stories of the kids coming home. And they're all really, really special, you know, heartbreaking, heartwarming stories, you know, again, not unicorns and rainbows, you know, like there's a lot to it. But yeah, I mean, I talk about pretty much everything. And you know, I started at a certain point in, but yeah, I mean, I, I talk about pretty much everything. I started at a certain point in my life. Like someone said, well, why don't you talk about your teenage years? I'm like, okay, they weren't that exciting. I mean, maybe they were, I don't know.

I don't have the social media to look back at. Right. You know, so I am inspired and I think that it's really important that you're letting people know that you are good right where you're at. Yep. Yeah. I think it's the biggest takeaway is that, you know, you matter and you matter, you know, don't, don't forget that piece because kind of moves you forward on all the choices that you make when you can look in the mirror and say, okay, today's going to be a good day. You know, like, trust me, there's days where I'm like, oh, really? Oh, okay. We're going to get through this. Like, you know, like, I think it's really

important to, to realize your value. And even when things are really shitty and you're not doing your best, you still matter. You, you know, and yeah. Being able to move forward in those really shitty times. That's probably the most impressive piece, right? Like, you know, where there's days where you're like, you know, oh, I don't think I've got this. And then you're like, no, you got this. You got it. You got to just plow forward. I used to always say it was like a, a game show, my life, like the beginning to the end, it was like a game show. And like, you know, you got checkpoints, I got to get to this one, to this one. And at the end, you're like, yes, I did it. You know, you did it,

you know, that's the reward. And even if you didn't do it, there's always tomorrow. And now it's time for break that shit down. You are more than enough. You matter. The choices you make truly matter. Families don't have to match. You just have to be full of love. Be nice. Be kind. Understand that, yes, you never know what anybody's going through. And they always say, you know, until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes, you can never walk in their shoes, right? Because you're never going to be at the exact same point in time as they are. So I think like the key is you always just have to be understanding. Even when you're in the Starbucks line and someone cuts you off,

you have to be understanding. You learn from those things and just keep doing what you're doing. Like, I really think that putting yourself out there, letting people ask you questions, having conversations with people. I think it's like really, it's especially now where, you know, we're walking behind a mask everywhere we go. Like the intentional push to have a conversation with someone I think has never been more important because there are some people that are truly completely alone right now. And I think it's really important to just kind of put yourself out there and move forward with a conversation. Well, thank you for putting yourself out there and all of you on in your book.

Hopefully it will trend and inspire other people to do the same because I am a firm believer like you are that that's where we connect and really can truly learn and support one another so agreed 100 percent yeah thank you so much for coming on and sharing your journey with us can you tell people where they can find your book? Tell them your website, your social media. Thank you. Yeah. So it's on Amazon.

It's on Barnes and Noble. There's some indie sites that have it as well, but best is probably Amazon. Leave a review. I would love to read it. I have a website, SimoneCanego.com. I think I'm the only Simone where I know I'm the only Simone Canego in the world. So you can find me at author Simone Canego and at unordinary you please reach out, read my book, tell me what you think. And I'd love to have a conversation because again, I think that's so key in everything we do. So thank you. Thanks. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thanks. I was feeling,

I'm feeling a little frustrated this morning. You brought some light to me. So thank you for being on and sharing. Thank you. I really appreciate that. Thank you. Thanks. Bye. Thanks for being with us today. We hope you will come back next week. If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate, like, and subscribe. Thank you. We rise to lift you up. Thanks for listening.