Sense of Soul - Finding Your Center with Ryan Haddon

Episode Date: November 8, 2021

Today joining us on Sense of Soul Podcast is Ryan Haddon, she is a Certified Life and Spiritual Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist and is a Certified Meditation teacher.  With over 16 years of experience with clients around the world, she is a sought-after public speaker for corporate retreats such as the international talent agency CAA, and wellness events for Visionary Women, as well as taught meditation for a U.S. government sector event.  Ryan does private workshops such as “Stepping Into Your Purpose,” “The Work/Life Balance,” and “Finding Your Center.” She’s also a leading contributor at Kourtney Kardashian’s website Poosh, where she has written more than 50 mind/body/spirit articles. She has been featured in a variety of top media outlets including Parents Magazine, Oprah Daily, Shape.com, Bustle, Sheknows, Cheddar, NBCLX, MindBodyGreen, The List and more. She has been on dozens of podcasts speaking about relationships, self-development and a purpose-driven life. Join Ryan’s next workshop at www.ryanhaddon.com Find her amazing articles on Poosh www.poosh.com Follow her journey on social media   https://instagram.com/ryan.haddon?utm_medium=copy_link https://www.facebook.com/ryanhaddoncoach/ Please go check out our Sense of Soul’s merch to help support our podcast and workshops and learn more about us @ www.mysenseofsoul.com! Exclusively now on Sense of Soul Patreon  is the 777 Chakra Journey, 7 weeks 7 Chakras, beginning this week with the Root Chakra and end at the end of 2021! Listen to Shanna’s mini-series about her ancestral journey Untangled Roots! Join now! https://www.patreon.com/senseofsoul

Welcome to the Sense of Soul podcast. We are your hosts, Shanna and Mandy. Grab your coffee, open your mind, heart and soul. It's time to awaken. Ryan Hadden is joining us today. She's had quite the life. She is a certified life and spiritual coach, a clinical hypnotherapist and certified meditation teacher with over 16 years of experience with clients around the world. She has worked as a journalist, a TV producer, and she has even been on ABC's morning show, Good Morning America, The Roseanne Show, and has been featured in many films. She is a sought after public speaker for corporate retreats such as the International Talent Agency, CAA, and wellness events for visionary women, as well as taught meditation

for a U.S. government sector event. She does private workshops such as Stepping Into Your Purpose, The Work-Life Balance, and Finding Your Center. She also is a leading contributor at Kourtney Kardashian's website, Push. She has written more than 50 mind, body, spirit articles. She's been featured in a variety of top media outlets, including Parents Magazine, Oprah Daily, Shape.com, and the list goes on and on. She has done many podcasts speaking about relationships, self-development, and purpose driven life. I absolutely love what she wrote on her website. I have found my own life purpose through service to others,

by meeting my clients right where they are in their process, gently urging them to move closer to who they were always meant to be. Thanks so much for joining us today. How are you? Thanks for having me. I'm good. Well, we are excited to have you and can't wait to talk to you about your amazing journey that you've had going from Hollywood to the inner world. It sounds like. Yeah, it was just one stop on the on the long train of the spiritual journey. You know, it didn't start there, but it definitely had to become all-consuming in order to survive it yeah I'm curious during your quirk tv years what was going on that was like I don't even know why that's on my bio that was like a nanosecond I was doing

because I study journalism so I was doing like out in Hollywood there's not much journalism happening it's fucking you're talking to celebrities. That's what you're doing. You know? So that's what I ended up. I just kind of moved around. I was on extra. And then I was like, court TV had an entertainment show and you know, it's just red carpet madness. Nonsense. Right. So where do you live now? I'm in Pennsylvania. I left LA and I live in, I've been here for 10 years. Yeah. Okay. We seem to talk to a lot of people on the East and we're here in the middle in Colorado. So maybe that's Colorado these days, mandate wise and all of that stuff. You know, I think that we're pretty in the middle when it comes to stuff.

You're not feeling a crunch necessarily. Yeah. Not like California. Not like our brethren there. People have been asking us that a lot lately so i wonder if there's a lot of pressure on me on everybody else is it like that in pennsylvania no okay no we're a swing state so i think that is really a cool thing so we kind of like keep things in balance you know and in a sense i don't know what other

states but i pennsylvania broke away from the National School Board. Oh, wow. I know. So that was like, yeah. I've been going to school board meetings and it's just tough. How old are your kids? I have a bunch of kids. I have a 22 and I have all the way from 22 to 7. Yeah.

Okay. I have 24 to 9. So at one point I had to make it to 7. You too, Maddie? Yeah. It's a weird thing because I mean you're talking different generations and you're straddling and you're different ways of parenting yeah it really are you know and then by then you have a friendship with your other kids and you're just

like for me I'm like I just want that with these other ones but we're still dealing with like bullshit tantrums and stuff and you're like can, can you just get to here? It's so much more fun, right? So true. It's still battling wills. And then I've got these other people where it's just like, we're just like, cool. We're just like, I like you. Let's hang out. You know, it's been a little difficult for me lately. Cause you're right. Like my son and my, my 22 year old and my 17 year old daughter. Yeah. They're like over here, like getting bank accounts. And then I have my, my 22 year old and my 17 year old daughter. Yeah. They're like over here, like getting bank accounts. And then I have my little one who's, you know, just starting elementary school. I'm in this weird space with my seven year old, because I feel like maybe

sometimes I treat her too mature for her age because I'm just in that other realm with the other two. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that's probably going to be her blessing because you'll, is it, you just have the one? Yeah. Just the young one. Oh my God. That's so cool. I mean, I love what I have, but I feel like I spend still a lot of time. It's like two and two I have. So it's like, it's still like they have their inner sanctum and you're always like, knock it off. Like it's, you know what I mean? It's like, oh my God. Sometimes you just, it would be so nice just to have that one that sort of like comes into your space all the time. You know, I still feel like it's them. They've got their

world and Mark and I are like trying to navigate around their worlds. Like I'm just over certain things. Like we took her to Disneyland for her seventh birthday on Wednesday and I'm like walking through Disney for 12 hours. And I'm like, I am so over this. And I'm looking at all these families with their matching t-shirts and like people are done that have the t-shirt. Yeah. And I'm like, I just not here anymore. Yes. Yes. I was definitely a helicopter parent to my older kids, my older two. And, you know, I'm definitely not with my younger. So it's so interesting how much I've changed as a parent and what my expectations were in the bear today, which was hardly anything. Yeah. Oh my God. It shifts so much. I'm just like, are just like are you happy are you you know and that's basically all I care about like are you comfortable in life are you kind that kind of stuff the first

time around you're probably over correcting from your own childhood in a lot of ways so if like we our generation I don't know how old you guys are I'm 50 but in our generation was like you just do it because you're told to it's just how it is. It's like the other ones I like took their emotional pulse. Like, how are you feeling about this? What's good. It's like, I made them like I made their emotions so important, you know? And so there's something nice about that. But also like, now I just say like, feel a feeling, let it move through you,

get into action, you know? I love that emotional pulse. I love that. How's that going? How are you feeling? Like, you know, nobody asked me that and I just wasn't generational. It's just, you didn't do that. It wasn't done. My kids get so sick of it. My older ones, cause they would walk in the door and I'd be like, what's wrong? And they're like, why does something always have to be wrong? I'm like, okay. Just trying to create a safe space here for you. Right, that's so funny. I can have a good container.

I can hold it. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. It's so funny. It is, you know, going from talking about sex with my teenagers to changing a baby's diaper, which was good birth control. Yes. So you have four then. I do. Yeah. So it is terrible that the kids are having to grow up with COVID and all of these crazy changes and fears that, you know, have been so public.

It's in their face. There's no way to get away from it because honestly, I would have tried to protect my older kids. That's how I was. That's the mom I was. I'm going to protect you guys from all that, but there's no protecting from this. This is like in your face. And they get to see what we value.

You know, that's the difference of this generation too, because you better back it up, you so i know with what's going on how are you feeling about it and then what measures are you taking that are singular to you our generation and our first set of kids they didn't see there wasn't civil unrest you know they didn't care who was running for president even you know i mean when you have like seven, eight year olds talking to you about political stuff, you're like, what the heck is happening in this world? I had no idea about that stuff when I was young. I know, it's so true. Well, they came in because they're little soldiers, I think.

Like there's no mistakes. These are like certain beings that have come through us to change things here. They're not, we're not making drones right now. Do you know what I'm saying? These aren't fall in line souls. That's why I think a lot of ADHD kids and you have like, that's gotten such a bad rap, but really it's just free thinkers.

It's people who think outside the box, that's their gift. And so they're not gonna fall in line. They're not gonna do it because you said so. They're gonna question things. They're gonna reason it out. You know, we have parents have given them, empowered them to feel through things, come to their own truths around it, you know, and maybe we've overcorrected, like I said before, but it's essentially, I feel like that's, you know, we're creating, we're trying to evolve.

So I'm, I have moments of feeling grateful that this time is here and moments where I feel that, you know, contraction around it. But it's like, so my daughter, you know, she's homeschooling now, the older one, because I don't like what's going on at her school. So we get an opportunity to talk about it and she gets to see how we take a stand around things and what we believe around it and where we are with it and how we're not just windbags. You know, I go to school board meetings. I do all that. I do, we do what we have to do.

I used to go and put signs up for, you know, my other, my little kids used to come knocking on doors with me when we lived in LA for my political party. So I've always been in phone banks and doing different things and at the level that I could, you know, so I just, I don't know. It's another, I think we can look at it as another opportunity rather than, oh, poor, these poor kids that have come in.

No, forget that. They knew exactly what they were doing. They knew exactly what's up. They're here to like be a part of this ascension and shift things. Didn't know if Sense of Soul knew we were going to go there today, but there you go. One of the things on your bio that

had me thinking over the last few days was about how fear and faith can coexist. I started thinking about the word fear a lot, how sometimes we need to twist our perspective on words and how much vocabulary affects the way people think. So I was pondering on that word fear. Do you think that there's a positive side to fear at all? And do you think that fear helps people to find that faith? Well, here's the quote that I always say that fear and faith can coexist. And I think that, like you said, I think it's important to recognize that we can hold both at the same time and it's not faith isn't the absence of fear I think look at any of the great beings that have walked the planet and had their 40 days in the desert you know they had to experience

both sides of the duality and make choices around that Much of what I just shared about before about making choices and aligning yourself to your values. And I think fear can be a motivator. I think most times, though, people are unconscious about how much their fear is motivating them and how much it's operating things beneath the surface. And they might think this is just who I am. This is just my operating system. This is just, you know, they move into acceptance around living their life in a certain state. It's a frequency fear and it usually skews negative, right? Because it wreaks havoc on our system. It, you know, our autonomic nervous system is in fight and flight and it's usually, it's because of a fearful projected outcome that's undesirable

or it's a past experience that's being, you know, the subconscious is reactivating all the time. That's projecting, it's coming down the pipeline. This is happening again. It feels familiar. I'm going to be hurt. I need to protect myself. So it's usually something like that. And so either you're feeling powerless because you're getting triggered. I'm using triggered as a way to kind of describe what that feels like, where you feel this contraction of like, Oh Jesus, this is happening again. Oh, my God. You know, like that feeling.

Or it can just be this low grade blueprint that's on you and everything's just operating. I'm not going to have enough because that's fear too, right? It doesn't have to be that I'm in an intense contraction. It can just be like everything I do do is like, there's not enough for me. I'm never going to get loved. Like those are all fearful thoughts. So we can pop out and just say, let's label fear as belief systems that really are running point all the time. That if they don't do this, they're going to leave me. If this person doesn't say this, it means they don't value me. Like these are all fearful thoughts. So faith is what

we're trying to edge in all the time. So we just move into acceptance like, okay, fear is just, it's noticing it. It's getting curious about how you move through the world. What are those unconscious thoughts that are bubbling up all the time? Our subconscious runs 95% of our life. So most of the times we think we're in control, but really it's like, we're just moving through all these old imprints and tapes that are just running and most of which are negative. So I don't think it's about being up in arms about it. It's just saying, oh, wow, this is cool. I can know myself a little bit more here. And then qualifying fear in that way. And then saying, where, when I have those thoughts, can I start edging in that faith? And faith, when we say faith, I mean, it feels like Christianity has a lock on that,

but it really just doesn't. Faith is trusting. For me, it's faith. It's a connection. It's trusting that everything is going to be okay. I've always been okay. I've gone through tough times, but I am still here. And know, and it's about my perspective. It's about my grit. It's about grace that's moved through my life in different ways and has up-leveled me because I've been working with it. And so my faith is constant and it's fluid and it's shifting and it's changing. And if you're evolving on your spiritual path, hopefully it's not the same as it was even a year ago and two years ago, because that's on us. That's our

responsibility to keep it cracking, to keep it exciting, to be stimulated by it. And what once worked at another time shouldn't work for you again, necessarily, because we want to keep evolving. Or it might be the same tradition that you're following, but you're going deeper in it. You're taking those same tenets and you're really working them in a way that feels yummy and exciting. And it's a through line of your evolution. And I feel like that fear usually can go really far back into likely our childhood and so sometimes we really need to create that space to go back and discover deeply what that fear is but ryan talking about childhood why don't we go back did you really grow up in new york and paris i did yeah i know i did i had to i moved there

under 11 so i had to learn French. I was thrown into classes. It wasn't fun. I don't recommend it. It was very under duress. You have your French and everything, all the math and science, and all of a sudden it was like... But at that time, the mind is so absorbent. So yes, I did move there then. My mom was working there. I met a spiritual teacher at 17. So I started meditation that started me on that track. I had like a classic spiritual awakening. And it's just always been a part of my life. It's just always been, I feel like from the time that I was starting to ask questions about what am I doing here? What is the purpose? Those things.

And so that's a great blessing. It really is. And then it doesn't mean everything's going to work out. The path of faith and the path of spirit is not easy. And if you're doing it right, it shouldn't be. I think that's one of the new age BS things that we've got going that we really need to just throw a grenade in. It should be sticky. You should be bumping into your stuff. You should be pulling stuff out of the shadow and being really courageous at looking at it and working it. And then the universe is going to keep bringing you opportunities every time you up-level.

It's like, are you sure? Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure this is your new concept of how you're going to move through the lens that you're going to move through your life? So it does get bumpy and it should be interesting at the very least. And unfortunately, we're taught to think that spirituality can be a refuge. It can be a place to get solace and it doesn't necessarily have to be Zen. So I want to say that. And that was a huge revelation to me at some point along the line. I just always thought if I wasn't in this place of even keeled equanimous state,

then somehow I wasn't doing it right. And I needed to do more meditation or I needed to do more of this and more of that. And I just think that arm wrestling is part of it. But I'm being held. My faith holds me. It has me in its embrace. And so I can do hard things because it does. You know, I can take chances. I can take risks because I turn and I surrender everything over to the most high. I know that I'm deeply loved by all that is.

The world around me reflects that back to me because of that belief system, but it wasn't always that way. So you were asking me to go to some of those other places where I didn't have that. So I didn't know, if you don't know that that's something that you value, you don't know that until you're good and ready to actually get that. Because this whole matrix that we live in is about pulling you out of that experience it's about telling you you need this you need that the guy the child the bank account the wardrobe the body type it's like all these other things to pull you out of this experience and i'm not saying these things are bad these are wonderful things please don't make a mistake it's another thing we do is like just either we're you know aesthetic and we

don't want anything and then that's more a more of, it's not, why can't we have all of it? I mean, look how abundant God's universe is, right? I mean, this is like a nature. It's like, it's just sitting in the seat of manifestation and abundance, but it's thinking that those are where your solutions lie. They're expressions, they're unfoldings. Permanent. Yes. Yes. And we don't want to put our tethers down into them our stakes and of identity around them and we can all do that i want my mothering and my marriage and my job and my you know i think these are just contexts you know to know yourself to grow in love around yourself but again for me i had thought all those things as our world drills into us and I had kind of a bumpy upbringing. And so I already had that self-esteem that was already kind of like I was under behind the eight ball with it all.

And then you try to put yourself in these worlds. And obviously it led me into Hollywood thinking like that's the shiny and the sparkle and I fit right into that and I want all of that. And this is going to deliver me that feeling that I'm looking for. And I really bottomed out with it. It had nothing to do with who I was with or what I was, you know, anything like that, or that world itself, that world's fine. It is what it is. It's smoke and mirrors. It is what it is. Nothing wrong with it. You know, it's just when you cannot find your worth in it. And that is a bottoming out of sorts. And then, you know, that's so very painful that you might pick up other things like food, using food, using alcohol, using any sort of thing to manage those big feelings of disappointment. You know, not finding

an anchor within yourself. I always talk about finding your center and what that means. And so this is that is really, I didn't have a center. And so I thought it was in everything else. So anyway, when I finally bottomed out on all of that, then I said, okay, now I'm ready to do the work. And I had been doing a lot of work, but it hadn't crystallized, if you will, until I really understood, I'm ready to pare down. I'm ready to give back all these things that I had armored myself with, or they were taken from me, really. The universe giveth and it removeth. And then just really pared down to my learning how to have a relationship with myself and then in turn be of service to others. And so the wellness model that I was in at that time as a 12-step model was really about

that. It was about learning how to surrender everything, learning to get right with myself, learning how to live life on life's terms, and then turn around to another woman and pass her that little tiny bit of wisdom that I had gained and just keep doing that. One, look forward, then turn back and hand it back over, go back forward, turn it back. And it's just this beautiful golden chain of recovery that worked for me. And it's just this beautiful golden chain of recovery that worked for me. And it was a beautiful thing that showed up on my timeline. And then hypnosis showed up on my timeline. These incredible mentors showed up, these way showers, these light bearers. And I think it's important to say that those people always pointed me back to that latent power within myself.

And that shows people that are in integrity with the work that they're doing. And we don't build anyone up. We're done with these false prophets, done with these people that we idolize from celebrities to gurus, to all these different forms of it. I think it should be a way shower, a light bearer, showing you back to that own power within yourself. And you look at Jesus, you look at Buddha, you look at any of these great beings, they have always said that, you know, that it's you, you hold the power within yourself. And then all these other constructs are built around it. But I'm so grateful. And I'm so fortunate for all those people that showed up and brought me to this place along the lines and how, you know, I worked hard.

I worked really hard and it became my life's work. Yeah. You can feel that coming from your soul, like the gratitude and that you truly honor the work because it is it's hard. I can see why you are a public speaker and a journalist. You paint like a picture, like as you're talking, I mean, you could tell it was right from your heart. So thank you for sharing that. And I'm sure it didn't come easy. When I look back, not growing up with self-love, like not even knowing what it was, in fact, being taught that self-love is selfish for sure.

And, you know, you should be a martyr for your family and that's good. You know, so looking back at that, had I never experienced that, then I wouldn't have gone as deep as I did with my self-love journey, but realizing the generational patterns and going real, real deep. But women are rising up now. I mean, 2021 is like a different world than it was even 10 years ago. For sure. You know, just just so and also being

vulnerable I mean Angie and I we talk about that all the time because our versions of vulnerability were so different and definitely I've jumped on board with her version of vulnerability thank god because prior to that I was like oh no you don't tell people your weaknesses you know because we don't do that oh my gosh I know my mom cringes sometimes at my like Instagram posts. She's like, why are you telling everyone? It's like a different generation, but it's like I expanded in my life by sharing my truths out loud. And the more honest you've got, the more that was celebrated in that world, you know, so it just became the model. And the more I did it, the more I felt

set free. So, and it's not about being boundary lists and like in very appropriate venues to do it. So it's not like, it's like, I'm just sharing all over the place. Like those were appropriate places. And I have found that if my experience can benefit somebody else, then that's what I'm here to do for gosh sakes. You know what I mean? That's how I learn myself is if someone shares, I went through this, I know the dark places, this is what I did. Give it a whirl. See if it works for you. You know what I mean? That resonates deeply for me because it feels like the person is in integrity with themselves. Like I've said that a few times already that how important that is, how vital that is. You know, at last night, my oldest daughter, she's like a manager at Sephora.

And she was talking to her district manager. And she said, mommy, you know, she had a really good conversation with her. And I think she likes me because she just got promoted to a new high volume store. And she was like, thank you so much for allowing me to be so vulnerable with you. You really create that space. And my little line goes, well, what does vulnerability mean? You know, so we had like this three different generationals speak about vulnerability, but it was super cool because it's something for me as a child or even at 22, I didn't

have a clue what that meant. Yeah. Yeah. And the power of it and the value of it truly yeah because we were compensating because the vulnerability somehow seemed like weakness or not knowing the way forward and so we were taught like just fake it till you make it right oh that's the queen of that I could have won my own Hollywood Emmy for that one. I have two things on my mind right now. This week I helped get three people into recovery programs for addiction.

And I've been kind of chatting with their moms and their spouses. And, you know, it's just being of service. That's what I do. But it brought back a lot of memories for me of when I went to rehab for my alcoholism 11 years ago. And I was thinking about how the conversations that I've had with them and with their parents or their spouses are, we, we have, they have this idea like I did that we're going to get out and things are going to be easier. And, and unfortunately, like you said, that's not how it

happens. What happens is, is that the world keeps happening. Things, chaos can still happen, but you can handle it better. You can, you can step out of those programs with the knowledge to be able to handle those things. Now, I, in my mind, created this idea that I was going to come out of there and all that. And yes, the chaos was less because the addiction itself creates a lot of that chaos, but there were still things constantly coming at me. And, and so I think what you said about this kind of false idea that our society has today, that happiness or the Zen is this place we're supposed to stay is so wrong. And so that was a great reminder because it's like every other emotion, it's going to come and go like a wave right but you know we seem

to think that if we continue to struggle then we're not doing well and that if we're spiritual and solid in our faith then we're not going to have issues and problems and it's just so not true that's right it's so not true it's so true that's so true it's you know each time you get an additional tool and you know what's really sad too is what's saying going to rehab and and you know any program I was watching that one show there was some Netflix thing called the maid the domestic violent shelter that she was in I mean people I've been've been in there, like this is her time and, you know, showing her go through it. And then like at the end, she has to go back and start all over again. We have these expectations that yes, we're going to go get help and everything's

going to be beautiful. This is it. But like how easily you can get knocked down and have to start over again. And how many times I think someone had once said in our podcast, like to leave somebody in a codependent kind of like narcissistic relationship, eight times is like the average or something like that. How many lifetimes has it taken? So eight times this lifetime, like you're killing it. That's amazing. You know what i mean there you go yeah you're you're just amazing girl or guy whatever you know so i think it's really just doing a pop out of context like it doesn't matter because we're not here like again it's that's results oriented of like you should get it the first time like it's about the process it's about all the learning the first time. Like it's about the process. It's about all the

learnings along the way. And it's about two steps forward and then one step back. And then it's just, this is the dance. So there's nothing wrong. It's like normalizing the stumbles, normalizing the fear that's going to pop in and those old ways of being and just keep at it, just keep coming, just keep showing up, just keep doing doing it it's what you took birth for you know and you chose this entire scenario and this is the self-responsibility piece like everything is happening for you and you are creating it and but if you want it to be different get in deep conversation with your subconscious figure out what those old tapes are what are you constantly recycling over and over that That's where you can

bring about change quickly, truly. And not that it's about bringing about change quickly, but if you wanted to, that would be a place to look and you can learn self-hypnosis. You don't need to come to me or a hypnotherapist. I love it. It's great. I love helping people at that place, but learn self-hypnosis, put yourself into hypnosis, put yourself into trance, drop yourself into theta state. You know, I think I have a YouTube on that on somewhere floating around and how to do self hypnosis. Like it's not a weird state, that theta state. We move in and throughout it, but let's just use it intentionally. So, you know, that's really just knowing like, you're just here, you're in your skin suit, you're just here, you're just having this adventure. Like there's part of it of just like not taking it so seriously and then taking it super seriously. So it's going between those two ways of it. And I love when

Mandy was talking, I was thinking, you know, we have this idealized version and it's happiness and what that is. And it's, what about contentment? You know, we don't say this enough, like contentment, you can be content when everything's a shit show around you. Like, let's let that be the goal of just saying like, it's okay. The winds are blowing ma, like, just like, you know, it's all good. Like, I think that's, that's kind of where I kind of anchor in. And that's what finding your center is. Like anchoring into that point of like, I can practice finding that point of balance within myself, no matter what circumstances are going on around me. In fact,

they're happening for me so that I can curate that state. Cause that's about the only thing I have control over. And sometimes I don't, but I'm going to keep trying to, to create that state no matter what. Story of my life. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, unfortunately you have to, it's the only thing you can control. Like you said, you know, everything around you can be so dysfunctional and it is going to be, because that's like, learn to self-soothe. That's about, that's like learn to self-soothe that's about that's like as many

tools in your toolbox to self-soothe because that and not numb out and not anesthetize and not check out i mean there's times and places for that obviously like but find what works for you so when those big feeling that's the thing with an addict is you don't know how to do that and you found this one thing that works and your subconscious recorded that. So then it becomes a compulsion, you know, and it overrides the conscious mind constantly. The conscious mind is like, I'm not going to do it today. I'm not going to have that drink at five o'clock.

And there you are at 3.30, you know, and then it starts to back up and then it's two. And then it's right when you get up, like it just, that's how it works because the subconscious is overriding the conscious mind because it it found a way to make you feel good we're such a beautiful complex system and we just want to get into conversation with those aspects of ourselves so they don't pull us through the nose you know if someone wanted to learn more about how to self self-hypnosis put them that theta brain wave what would you suggest where Where would they start?

Just Google it up friends, you know, look on, see, like I said, I have a YouTube video that kind of will walk you through a certain version of it, but there's so many things out there. So just learn. It's basically dropping yourself through breath, through counting, through visualization. And then, you know, there's many, many different techniques on how to do it, but it's very simple. If you do it intentionally, you can really, we talk about manifesting and all that crap. I say crap, but it's, I don't think we're doing it right. That's a whole other podcast. But I think really, if you want to bring about a different

outcome, work with your subconscious mind, because it is calling everything to you all the time. So you might as well program it for good. Self-hypnosis is a way to do that. We have an inner child. We have a shadow. We have the subconscious. We have different parts. We have the ego.

We have all these aspects, and we have to know who's in play. So that's why get to know all these parts of yourself. Get in conversation. Oh, my inner child is throwing a shit fit right now. She's not getting what she needs. So you may connect with her. What's going on, honey? Like, I want you to start talking to yourself that way. Like, you're going to feel like a multiple personality for a minute, but it's just knowing who's engaged. Being the witness to that subconscious mind, you know, for myself. And you know, the thing is, is that sometimes

it's so deep within you that hypnosis is so helpful. And right now you can go on, like you said, YouTube and type in any fricking subject and find it. I mean, I had done that years ago when I was doing some inner child work and I mean, I found a hypnosis and it was like some major healing, you know, being able to just bring yourself to a place where healing is not being rejected. Right. So that's like the whole thing of Theta Brainwave. And I always try to get my clients to that place just to receive Reiki because I want them to receive it and not reject it. Right. This is just one modality. You could do it through Reiki. You can do it through breathwork. There's just so many ways and you're not going to resonate to every way. It doesn't mean it

doesn't work. Find another way. It's like when we say go to meetings and in recovery, it's like, don't just go to one and make a decision, go to, go to five or six and then decide where you're at with it, you know, because they all have a different feel and they're not going to be for everybody. Same for meditation. There's lots of different ways to meditate. And if you don't like meditation, then maybe you're doing the wrong one for you. Find one that works. Yeah. I mean, Mandy, in the episode that I just released had reminded our guests that, you know, cause she said she didn't know she couldn't really meditate, but she takes like her whole deal is walking in the woods yeah she's walking meditation yeah there it is yeah yeah so it's definitely not all zen and sitting you know upright with your and hypnosis is a meditation so it's another form yeah there's

just so many ways kundalini yoga has a different type of meditation that's more action or tai chi tai chi so do you bring people back all the way to the past lives sometimes like are you looking like brian weiss that just started to do this yeah going back and then all of a sudden like whoa we're in egypt yes i do that that's a past life regression that's separate it's a totally different type of hypnosis and i would never do that if someone didn't want to we didn't agree on that ahead of time but does it ever happen like you know when you're if someone didn't want to, we didn't agree on that ahead of time. But does it ever happen?

No, it hasn't happened to me. No, because we're not going back that far, but it did for Brian Weiss. He was going back, back, back. He was going back, back and he was like, oops, wow, where am I? We're in a whole other dimension. I also do this other type of hypnosis. It's called aura hypnosis and that is where we work with the higher self and we work with the archangels and we remove programming. We remove different infringement in the body. And, that because to call in your higher self and have

it be moving through and you can, and I'm asking the higher self questions that you've, we've come up with ahead of time. Like, why did this happen? What's the path? What's my purpose here? And I'm talking to the higher self, calling in all the guides and all that's, it's, that's a whole incredible, different way of unpacking. What was that called? Aura, A-U-R-A, hypnosis. My teacher does, her name is Rising Aurora Phoenix, and she does that. So I've been studying with her for a while, and it's pretty cool. Because I think we have a lot of infringement, especially as lightworkers. We're picking up, this is, I say this all the time, so it's super

boring if anyone's on this podcast and heard me before, I'm so sorry. But we're doing so much opening all the time and it's irresponsible. We don't, we just open the heart, open the heart, just open all your chakras and unclog them all the time. But please, if you're listening, shield, do that and then shield it. Do that and then set shields about your day. Set shields before you go into Walmart, for God's sakes. Do you know what I mean? Especially when you go into Walmart, for God's sakes. Do you know what I mean? Especially having this awareness about the world that we live in and it's sticky. And if you're working

the light, you're, it's like having a big neon sign above yourself. You know, it's very desirable to, and it's not being afraid. It's just like, this is the world we live in. There's light and dark. My clients, you know, like you're really open right now. So when you leave, like if it's any, if it's uncomfortable in any way, just imagine those closing up, right. Just close them up a little bit. You have control of those things, you know, just because you went to a Reiki master, this is your body. It's your control and you get to decide how open and closed you are. And that's been a balance for me being, I'm so empathetic and I've realized it recently how, how just I've been kind of really tapping into that because for so long I had been so focused on protecting that about me.

And so then I've been trying to find this balance of allowing it to open a little bit more so I could be empathetic, you know, and still kind of allowing some energy to get to me because I was too blocked off. So I've been practicing this a lot. This has been a big thing over the past few months. And I realized that this is in your control. It's in nobody else's control. Nobody else can affect your chakras or do anything. You are the person. You have to be conscious of your energy and how much, how open you are and how closed you are. And realize you can open them and close them throughout the day. I don't think people really get that. No. And even for me, I do shieldings and I do

sacred symbols and I put them all over me and I do all kinds of different things every day. And I still forget to do that when I go into places. I'm like, oh, I feel a little bit, but at least I can, I can repair it. It's not irreparable, you know, but it's, it's, if it's not top of mind, we're just in the matrix and we forget. Well, see, that's why I do the spiritual hygiene where, and I still do it just became part of my day. You know, I, I bathe and I put my clothes on, so I shower off my energy body and I put, you know, a protection around my physical body after I put my clothes on. It's the same thing. And I do it at night too. When I'm done with the day, making sure in between

clients, I'm like putting Palo Santo. I just want all the energy to clean and clear out, you know, because people are bringing all of that into your space. I've been having such crazy dreams and someone had recently, I can't remember who it was, but they were on our podcast and they were like, if you want to do like dream work and stuff, the last thing you want to do is like totally protect yourself before your bed. You want to be open a little protect yourself before you're in bed. You want to be open a little bit, you know, for, to that. As soon as they said that, I thought about that because I thought about how I had like this total conditioning thing about before I went to bed, I needed to say

my prayers, period. You know, it was just part of what I grew up with. I still today, I lay down, like my mind goes, say your prayers, you know, our father who are in heaven, you know, whatever I say that. But then recently I've been making it more intentional. Do you know the our father? It's so interesting. I learned this a few years ago that it was the only prayer that Jesus actually said. And I learned how to do it and put it in the chakras. Have you done that?

No. Tell, tell. Will you tell us? Should I? Okay. So the top of the head is our father right that would make sense i think so far the heart in heaven holy b is here is that center of the eyes holy b and thy name is the throat which makes sense because you're saying thy name thy kingdom

come is your heart right makes sense because yes the kingdom is in your heart thy will be done yep they will be done on earth as it is in heaven and your belly button yes and it's also the axis point of your body like the middle point right right as above so below so the kingdom right here in the center and then there's this prana point that's on the side on the left side of the body front and back it's how we process nope it's at the kidneys it's right there on the left side there it's where you process and spiritual energies so and then he goes our kingdom come thy will be done in our decisions give us this day our daily bread so this you're eating our daily bread it's between that part okay and then um forgive us our trespasses is called the ming. It's Chinese chi centers also.

So more than chakras. So it's behind the belly button forgiveness. And then it goes up to the heart. And then, yep. And then forgive us our trespasses. You go down to your, the bottom,

the root chakra. And then you imagine it moving all the way up when you say that. And then at the back of the spine, the base of the spine is the Kundalini energy. And so you say, yes, the last three bits of that are the back of the heart is the back of the base of the spine and the back of the heart. And then it goes to the top of the head. So you're moving through this cycling through your body. Just try to say it and you'll see it makes sense. It makes total sense. If you don't know these secondary spots, it makes total sense. So you move it through your chakra system. That is awesome. Thanks for sharing. You're so welcome. I love it too. I love it too.

Yeah. It always is connected, isn't it? There's no way it doesn't matter. I'm sure, you know, it's like we all feel so very separated sometimes with, you know, religions and all these things, but there's so many connections. So many connections. And the truth is the truth. It is really like that Christ consciousness, that energy, that one love, all of that. It weaves itself in all different names and ways, but it's truly, it's love, right? It's love and it's so powerful powerful it's so potent it cuts through

everything it really does so we talk about darkness but it's just so much stronger than that you speak with such intention i love that i think sometimes we're taught like these rituals or taught these things to say or do but we forget to put that intention behind it. I try to actually say my prayer and my intention at the beginning of the day now to start my day off. But I mean, if you think about it, it's intention is something we should be doing, you know, every step of our day. That's true. So Ryan, let's talk a little bit about what you've got going on. Our listeners, if they're interested in getting some coaching by you, could you maybe walk them through what that would look like for them?

Well, I'm doing a course right now and I'm loving it. It's my third time doing this course. It's called the Relationship Triumvirate and it's about relationship to self. So it's everything we've been talking about. That's why I'm mentioning it. Relationship to self, relationship to others, and then relationship to something greater. And it's over this round. Usually it's in six weeks, but I'm doing it over 12 weeks because I'm doing group coaching in between and one-on-one. And I just love this. It's everything that we've unpacked in this hour, in this course. And so there's that. And so that'll come back around at some point. So if you want it, that resonates with you, pop onto my website at ryanhadden.com and then sign up for the next one. I usually do it once a year. I've been doing it twice a year, but this year I only did it once. And then, you know,

I'm really on Instagram. That's my jam. I'm just there. I'm just writing posts all the time. Like it's just whatever comes through, whatever I'm working on, it's really there. And I write a lot of articles and I do a lot of these. Your Instagram brings a beautiful sense of calmness, like the colors you pick also. Thank you. Pinks and purples. Thanks. I try. It's intentional. It's really pretty. Thank you. Yeah, I like it to feel good. It should feel good. You know, I don't always say things that everybody likes,

but I want you to come on the page and feel that rust, you know, and I want you to think and I want you to feel and I want you to process and make it your own. So like I said, that's probably my heart and soul is there. And I really should be writing more of my book than I am on my Instagram. But it just feels like I love the community that's there. And I have friends that I've made there and I've made a community of people that matter to me.

So creative journal and tried, didn't you? No, I think so. No, it's so fun. Now that we have Zoom and so you probably work, you're working obviously, you know, online, right? Anybody can join. Don, it's so fun. Now that we have Zoom and so you probably work, you're working obviously, you know, online, right? Anybody can join. Don't do anything in person.

It's all like international. It's everywhere. I'm in Australia. I'm in Bali. I'm in London. I'm all over the place. Yeah, it's one of the great things. And it feels so real.

It doesn't feel like I'm missing some part of them. And even with hypnosis, we do it on Zoom and it's just as effective. It really is. So some have even said that sometimes it's like even better, you know, in their comfort of their home. That's right. When you come into an office and it's like weird and like, do I lay back? What am I doing? But you know, this is a weird smell. I don't know. There's just so many things that can pop you out of so much of it is just really relaxing and really dropping into it. Zoom is going to like change the world when it comes to like getting, you know, help and being able to reach all of these different modalities. You know, I mean, people do Reiki remotely. I know I do. It's amazing. It's just as strong.

It's very, you know, it's amazing. Energy has no distance. It is nice to, but I did do like a lot of like meetings online during the lockdowns. And I will say getting back in person and sitting in a circle, there's power there too, you know, in numbers like that. So I don't want to discount, you know, what we energetically create when we're in person. And, you know, just to push against any transhumanism at this time of like thinking that it's just all here, you know, because it's great and it's amazing. But there's something that happens in a room full of people that are of one mind that are having a common intention. That's really potent. And touch at the other day, I was giving a massage because I massage three hours a week.

My client said, yeah, you can do a lot of things on zoom, but you sure can't get Shanna's hands. You are right about that. No one can replace the size. Well, thank you so much for coming on. It's been a pleasure. And now it's time for Break That Shit Down. You know, you're that which you seek. I always say that.

My teacher says that a lot and I love it. What you're seeking is you. So keep remembering that. You're seeking it in all kinds of places. You are that which you seek. I did not come up with that. I think it's a Sanskrit. I am that I am, you know, I am that which I seek is a similar notion. My takeaway from today was a beautiful reminder from you. There's so many different areas of ourselves that we forget to get to know. So

taking the time to do that. Thank you. Aw, thanks. Thanks for having me, ladies. It was really a lot of fun. Can you tell everybody where they can find you, your website and your Instagram? Oh, it's ryan.haddon on Instagram. And then it's ryanhaddon.com. Thank you so much for joining us.

Bye. Thank you. Hey, did you know that Sense of Soul now has a patreon where you can get exclusive episodes mini series that mandy and i have been working on for a long time that we can't wait to share with you monthly readings sense of soul sacred circles workshops behind the scene clips and much more hop on sense of soul Patreon right now and sign up.