Sense of Soul - Free To Be

Episode Date: June 9, 2023

Today on Sense of Soul is Shirin Etessam is an entrepreneur, seasoned media executive, and transformational speaker. She joined Shanna today to share her new book, Free to Be: A Six-Week Guide to Reclaiming Your Soul. realeasing next week!  Shirin has produced films, original television series and specials, created several companies, and led campaigns for some of the world’s most recognized companies (ABC, CBS, Discovery, BBC, Facebook, Apple, Intel, Virgin, and many more). A proud member of the LGBTQIA+ community, Shirin founded OML TV, a popular platform dedicated to streaming and curating quality, queer female, video content and OML Originals, a female led production company telling diverse female stories through a vast spectrum of film and television genres. Shirin is also a regular contributor to Rolling Stone and Forbes. Today, Shirin guides seekers in her six-week program, Free to Be, to disconnect their human “being” from their human “doing” to find true and lasting fulfillment. She lives in Marin County, California, with her wife and two children. https://www.shirinetessam.com @shirinetessam Learn more about Shanna and Sense of Soul at www.mysenseofsoul.com Go can find all of our new Sense of Soul Network of Lightworkers at our afiliates page at https://www.mysenseofsoul.com/sense-of-soul-affiliates-page Join our Sense of Soul Patreon!! Our community of seekers and lightworkers who get exclusive discounts, live events like SOS Sacred Circles, ad free episodes and more. You can also listen to Shanna’s new mini series, about the Goddess Sophia! Sign up today and help support our podcast. https://www.patreon.com/senseofsoul  

Hello, my soul-seeking friends. It's Shanna. Thank you so much for listening to Sense of Soul podcast. Enlightening conversations with like-minded souls from around the world, sharing their journey of finding their light within, turning pain into purpose, and awakening to their true sense of soul. If you like what you hear, show me some love and rate like and subscribe and consider becoming a sense of soul patreon member where you will get ad free episodes monthly circles and much more now go grab your coffee open your mind heart and soul it's time to awaken today on sense of soul we have Shireen Edison. She is an entrepreneur, a seasoned media executive, and transformational speaker.

She has produced films, original TV series, specials, and has led campaigns for some of the world's most recognized companies. She is a proud member of the LGBTQIA plus community and is the founder of OML TV, a popular platform, female led production company telling diverse female stories. She is a regular contributor to Rolling Stones and Forbes, but today she's joining me to tell us about her new book, Free to Be, a six-week guide to reclaiming your soul. Hi, how are you? Good. Can you hear me? I can hear you.

Okay. I have laryngitis. Okay. Are you okay to talk? Yeah, you know, this is good. Way better than it was. Yeah. Yeah, it happens. Disease, you know, it's like no matter how much soul work one does, the body does what the body does. I mean, obviously, it helps it along. But disease is is real. Yeah. And you know,

sometimes it comes into your life. So you can slow down a little bit too, which I had to do last week for sure. Yeah. And you have a partner, right? Actually, she was my partner for three years. She quit podcasting with me last year. Oh, wow. Okay. I was just listening to some of the podcasts and looking at your website. I was like, I want to move in with these girls. Yeah, we definitely had a lot of fun. She's still my best friend. In fact, I was just texting her right before we got on. But yeah, she's like a veteran. Oh, I can't remember the name. But she transports them to their appointments to like different states. It's really cool. As long as it's fulfilling for her. Exactly. And I think that that's the freedom

that women can have these days is to choose a path of purpose. Yeah, for sure. Hopefully people overall, but yes, especially women. Where are you based? I'm in Colorado. Okay. Yeah. Where are you at? I am in California in Mill Valley, which is just north of the Golden Gate Bridge. Oh, yeah. So very close, like a 15 minute drive to San Francisco we also my wife and I have a place in Napa which is about 50 minutes from here so we just go back and forth and it's beautiful because it's right on the Napa River and we have a boat and it's really lovely yeah that sounds amazing looking through some of your stuff and listening to some of your talks on your website,

I just feel there's just such power right now in the feminine energy. I think power overall. I mean, I think about without stepping on my soapbox too much, but I think like divisiveness and the polarity that's happening in the country and all of that, I think that if there is a means, and this is going to be possibly one of my TED Talk topics is like, why can't we all get along? We do such amazing things. I mean, sometimes I marvel at what we're able to do. And then and we still can't figure out how to get along, you know, and I truly don't believe that it is that we will in politics or the United Nations or all of that. Because we're, you know, it's the Einstein's thing of like trying to resolve something from the same

consciousness that created the problem so you're just like regurgitating you're seeing the same things over and over again rather than like hmm well this didn't work and it hasn't worked you know can we approach it different so i really really believe that soul work, self-transformation is really global transformation. I truly believe that. I do too. And I also feel that something you said is I agree with that. You can't lose also the logic and the reason you have to be spiritually grounded. Absolutely.

Absolutely. I know. grounded absolutely absolutely and I think that that balance or that scale sometimes is really far on one side or the other yeah agreed and I you know I was thinking about I often say this the ego tries to figure out the ego the ego tries to figure out the ego yeah oh tell me more about that you know I'll be listening to someone you know and they're trying to figure out what's wrong here you know and it's just like I'm like wow like step aside because your ego is trying to figure out your ego and when you were discussing you know all of these different systems trying to figure out your ego. And when you were discussing, you know, all of these different systems trying to figure out themselves. That's what I felt. I was like, yep,

it's one of those ego figuring out. I really like that. I'm going to sit with that. I mean, because so much of it, I mean, you're absolutely right. I mean, that we task the mind with so many things. And you know, the ego is based there. And I was also thinking the other night that, yeah, I sleep so much better than I used to. I used to be total insomniac. But I realized a thought that came across was the mind, the monkey mind is the loudest during the night because everything else shuts off, right? There's nothing else coming in during the day. It's just like, you know, constantly inundated with content, which I talked about content overload and intoxication a lot because we all face it to one degree or another. But the night when we sleep, the whole idea is that all of it shuts off and we rest.

But then that's when the monkey mind can just be like, you know, at any time I've gone to silent retreats and anyone who has gone to silent retreats, they say how the mind like accelerates. It's like, oh, you're not listening to me. I'm going to double down. Oh, I'm going to triple down. I'm going to quadruple down. You know, by the fifth day, you're in the silent retreat, your brain is like, and that's ironic. Right. And that's the challenge. So and I think that's the whole purpose of a silent retreat. So what did you say? The ego is trying to figure out the ego.

OK, I'm going to stick with that. I love it. You know, and I think that for myself. Sleep was such a big issue. In fact, I have this Fitbit on here just for that, you know, for my just the awareness, right? It's the awareness but I mean I would think about in the middle of the night not just what I had it done in the day but what I hadn't done in the week and sometimes ten years you know it's like why am I thinking about this in the middle of the night

when I could have been you know worrying about this during the day I didn't have time they had like on social you see all these memes like one of my favorites is the yeah there's the um she's a character um can't remember which one it is but she's laying there in bed looking completely freaked out. And it said something like me in the middle of the night, trying to figure out why I said what I said 10 years ago, and how I could have said it better, you know, and it's just like wide awake. You know what, thank God for those themes in these conversations, so that you don't feel alone. Because, you know, I think it is common. And I love that now we're able to be so vulnerable about, you know, those dark moments.

I think it's also just having distinctions. I mean, I realized that in my own soul work and in my process that really creating distinctions, naming things, whether it is, you know, your demons, which is like, oh, you're back, you know, or distinguishing the work of the heart versus the mind versus the body versus the soul. Because when we do, it's just like, you don't get to you. Shut up. I'm talking with my heart right now, you know, or the body if the body needs tending, you know, like your laryngitis, it's like, I need to take care of this. This is what leads right now, you know, but when we don't have those distinctions in our consciousness, it's just, you know, we're sort of groping, grasping, something is wrong, but we're not quite sure how to deal with it. So I think having those

distinctions, I mean, beyond the vulnerability, which I think is great, and being able to find our freedom with that, and our expression of that is being able to, I call it the tribe of us, really knowing where to lean, you know, when something comes up. Yes. I was thinking I have a forced, silent retreat going on within me. And that's something, right? I have to say, last week, there was a few times I was frustrated and down because I have to say last week there was a few times I was frustrated and down because I needed to record something and I still have to record it because I'm still not up to par with my voice and it was frustrating and I just I felt defeated and stuck and just as one of those things where we take for granted

our voice, my voice. Oh my God. Yes. So, which I also talk about in the book, the section that I have on the body is there's mind detox, heart detox, body detox, but with our bodies, the majority of us, we either take our bodies for granted, or we abuse it. That is it, we just expect it to come along the ride. Yeah, I need to do this. And I need to do that. And we just expect it to come along up until the time it breaks down. And it's like, yep, no. A few weeks ago, my wife had a few health complications, and, and doing the podcasts and the TV interviews and all the other exciting, wonderful things. But I mean, it's a lot. It's a lot. And I seriously felt narcoleptic. I would go to the hospital and be like, passed out. And I've never been like that,

where my body is just like, so I started baking in, you know, if it wasn't like a day of rest, it was an hour of rest where I'm just like, so you have to, because your body, when it's had enough, it's had enough, and it will tolerate it will tolerate and then it's like, F you know, yeah, it'll scream at you. friend, Tiffany Schlain wrote a book called 24 six. It's basically taking a digital Shabbat that one day she, her husband and girls, one of them is off to college now, but just nothing digital. And then they would do very, very intentional things together. You know? So I think that intention is super important. And not just being off screens is taking care of our bodies, listening to our hearts,

shutting off our minds, connecting with our souls, playing. Yes, yes. Actually, that brings me back to Rabbi Matthew Ponick, who I've had on, and we talk a lot about that. And that stuck with me, because you can include spirituality, your soul in your life, in your business, your career, in raising your children. It doesn't have to be one or the other. Frankly, I feel like it's a requirement. I mean, my book and the process, Practical Spirituality, because, and I'm not quite sure how it all came about, but you look at certain diets, you know, people are like, you know, Mediterranean diet is great. So you figure out like what that is or whatever diet works for you.

You want your body to be in shape. So you don't just go to the gym and just kind of do whatever. You know, usually there is you set up either with a personal trainer or a class or even with yourself. I'm going to do this many repetitions. I'm going to come this often and such. If you're having mental health issues, you may reach out to a support group or a therapist. When it comes to quote unquote spirituality, and I don't even like the term spirituality, I call it spiritual wellness or spiritual health. It's like anything goes, oh, I'm going to try this.

Oh, this person sounds good, which is great to be in that exploratory space. But truthfully, if you want true spiritual results, like your soul set free, it has to be practiced regularly. There's a reason why the Buddhists call anyone who practices Buddhism practitioners. So doing soul work, we all have to be practitioners. And that doesn't mean we go to an ashram or retreat, you know, for two months out of the year, or, you know, a retreat every six months, and then be like, yeah, work, like, like what you said, it has to be in the day to day. So you got a spiritual while you're vacuuming, you got a spiritual while you're grocery shopping, you got a spiritual while you're dealing with your boss who you can't stand, whatever that is, you know, when you're in traffic, I have to remind myself that. And it is daily practice. And it is a journey. A lot of Buddhists will say, you know, the journey isn't from here to there. It's from here to here. And I'm not particularly Buddhist, though a lot of the work there resonates with me. So all to say, yes, it has to be practical. And it has to be very much

integrated, woven into our day to day. And it so easily can. And of course, the first step of it is awareness. Like, hmm, okay, yeah, maybe I have been spiritual window shopping. You know, maybe I'm not spiritualing as much as I should be or whatever it is. But you just humanize that, which we are human. Correct. You know, I love that because, you know,

one might say, well, how do you spiritually vacuum? But you can be so mindful in that experience. You're mindful, you are aware. I mean, it doesn't mean that, you know, you're oming your way through vacuum cleaning, though you certainly can. And it isn't you're vacuuming and that's when you're spiritual. Point is that you integrate spiritual health the same way that you don't go into a therapist's office and then come out and be like, okay, I'm good for the week. You know what I mean? I mean, it's a shift of perspective. It's a new way of looking at things.

It's being reflective. It's being accountable. It's being able to name things, distinguish all of those things. And I frankly, truly believe that you can't have true mental health without spiritual health. It's just that there's a stigma right now around spiritual health the way there was a stigma around mental health 10 or five years ago until celebrities and athletes and Prince Harry and the like came along and said, you know, and now it's like you tell somebody

you're going to a therapist, they're like, okay, great, have a good time. So true. Still, quote unquote, spirituality is still in the realm of either the woo-woo or gets confused with religion. And I know you know all too well it has nothing to do with either, really. I mean, religion can be spiritual and the woo-woo is great, but magical thinking isn't soul work. Right. And I do recall like when I begin to get off the meds in my 30s and turn to tools like mindfulness and meditation, I spent a lot of time there. I mean, I was escaping. And, you know, it was like, kind of neglecting the earthly stuff. You know, my kids were like, Hey, are you ever gonna make us dinner or anything? Yeah, I mean, and it's easy to hide. I mean, in some ways, I mean, I look at, you know, and again,

like I've been to ashrams, I've been to retreats. And, you know, and sometimes I get envious of people who have been, you know, like Spirit Rock, they have retreats that last for six months, you know, which is glorious. I'm not able to do it because I'm also a mom, but I do go to like commuter retreats and other retreats there and other places. But point being that when you're in those places, which are, you know, sacred places, and I love them, you're feeding your soul, but it's also a reprieve from real life, you know, and you could go from that to the next retreat and the next ashram and whatever else it is. But in order to be in your life, you have to be in your life.

I think that there is I don't want to say a danger there. But there is a called a spiritual coma, you know, where you're, you know, you're just kind of you're spiritualed out and everything is groovy and it's like well no everything isn't groovy this world is super hard and super challenging and by checking out and thinking that everything is glorious and rainbows and butterflies, good for you. But that is not the world we live in. Right, exactly. We're multidimensional. So, you know, a lot of my groundedness came from understanding where this body came from. I did a lot of ancestry work.

Little did I realize how very connected that would be for me with my body. But that was so huge for me. I'm actually surprised. I don't talk about it in the book, but I've also explored that. And, you know, and also with like Ancestry.com and 23andMe and all of that there's a curiosity there and if we have certain traits that we see in our parents and some don't have that like both my kids are adopted we may not you know see traits I mean and then there's nature versus too because I definitely see parts of myself and my kids some good some bad but there are some things that are ancestral and and that also then gets put

into the woo-woo and it's like well why is it that if it is you're like oh I'm so like my mom oh I'm so like my dad but if we go like four generations back oh no that's woo-woo it's like why it gets handed down you know it's trauma the good the bad the ugly it gets the way you look and the traits as well because I mean I think that's the obvious it's like oh you look just like so-and-so well That's just one Right not at all then but then you talk about you know trauma Yeah, totally, but you know and also just the fact that oh my god. I'm surprised. I'm even here You know what my ancestors had to go through for for for me to exist. And for any of us, it's, it's really a

miracle. So to learn that it also gives me an appreciation of life today. And especially when it comes to women. That and also like choices are made, like, I'm here, My life is completely different because at one point my mom decided to bring my sister and I to the United States. And then my dad followed a couple of years later, but had she not made that decision, I would still be in Iran and dealing with everything that's going on there. I mean, an entirely different. So like it shifted there and it's like, okay, was that a calling that was hers? Was it based on her wanting something? And, you know, we've talked about it, but I still wonder, you know, like what she had gone through because of her grandmother and her mother and moving their Russian background and Jewish and having to marry a husband, not having to wanting to, but him being Muslim. And the point being that. My mom's choice completely shifted and shaped my life.

Yeah. And there's significance to that. There really is. Yeah. And I think back at the women in my family, and honestly, I think my generation is the first to have a voice. and you know when it comes choice that's what i really mean when i say the feminine energy is so strong right now because i i guess coming from french creole women who weren't even allowed to marry outside of the race until mid-1900s this is ridiculous you know also the word heresy means choice. And when I think about all the heresy, still, even some today is unbelievable because they tried to take away our choice.

Wow, I love that. I really love that. You know, it's interesting. And I didn't know that about heresy. And when I just start using it, like reclaiming, I'm reclaiming my heresy. Yes. But my mom, you know, we talked about generational, but when she came here, she was pissed because she became really aware of how much freedom I mean, we're still clearly fighting for greater freedom and all of that but I mean the discrepancy between what we have here and in Iran is palpable as women you know what I mean and she was pissed because by the time she came here she was almost midlife-ish fish, you know? Yeah. And it wasn't, you know, because like that choice, as you say, was, was never even given to her at birth. And I have no idea what that even feels like, you know? Yeah. Wow. Well, she did it for you and for future generations.

Correct. Well, technically she did it for my sister, but I benefited from it. Correct. Wow. And that is epigenetics, right? Yeah. And that will be passed down to your children. Yes. I mean, I think that it's less about blood and more about psyche. Yes. Yeah. I was concerned about this. My older children, you know, I wasn't as awake. In fact, I was, I decided their religion before they were born.

My son was going to be a baseball player before it was, you know, I had made all these decisions of what they were going to be. You know, we were going to church living the american dream cookie cutter home you know checking off all the boxes which then we all had to shed that and start all over but it's interesting because i asked myself many times like is it too late for them you know now that you mean the reshaping yeah well is it too late now that I've already taught them one way um you know is it too you know because with my younger one I've allowed her to grow and to lead me into her desires passions and she's doing great so we had to undo a lot of things with my older kids. However, it's not too late because I see in my change, you know, everything around you changes too.

And so even though they do have, or they did have the helicopter mom for sure, and we've had conversations and I've been very open about not necessarily my regret I mean because I was doing the best I could but why I see things differently today and why I would want to give them choices that I did not give them you know in the beginning yeah I think the difference between the young child and the adult child and i'm i mine are 17 and 15 now i think as when they are little they're sponges i mean they continue to be sponges but the difference that I've experienced is the the willingness right where as in before they would just be like okay you present them with something they assume that's

reality this is the way it goes but then they get older they realize their their heresy and practices so you could suggest something to your 25 year old or my 17 year old and they could be like nope yeah right and so I think that's what works today correct and and you know it's the saying of you, you can't help people who don't want to help themselves. So that's, I think that's the difference is them practicing heresy. I'm going to just keep using that. Heretics. A bunch of heretics. Otherwise known as children.

Right. I mean, they're definitely, definitely you know I do think it's been so different for different generations for sure you know growing up I mean I literally watched Days of Our Lives soap opera on the dot three o'clock every day after school mine was General Hospital. So much so that when I'm totally aging myself, but so much so that when I went to my first year of college, I kid you not, I It is kind of ridiculous. It is a different world. I mean, I can't even imagine my kids watching General Hospital or Days of Our Lives, but they are watching stuff like TikTok and celebrities and, you know, and care about these things. And I'm just like, do you know these people? They're like, well, kind of. We know everything about them.

No, it's an entirely different world now, for sure. Yeah, I remember when Real World started, which seems to be like the first reality show. Maybe I'm wrong. I think the first reality show, just because my background is in film and TV, I think Survivor was the first. Oh, wow.

I don't know. Yeah, it might be. I think Survivor was the first. Wow. I don't know. I could. Yeah, it might be. But I loved Real World as well when it started on MTV. You know, it's funny. It's like, what is the dysfunction in us that we like to watch this drama? Yeah. And, you know, I mean, it's the same things as far as like people slowing down to watch

a crash it's like what is that about i mean slow but i mean like people are super curious or the obsession of watching the news yeah i don't watch I haven't watched the news deliberately for, I would say a good 13 years now. Good for you. It's only been about half that for me. You know, I mean, I do TV interviews and, and such, but I especially morning news. I mean, it's the last thing I want in my brain. You know, when I wait, I'm like, the opposite of it, right of it right I'm like yeah this thing called the the daily purge that I do meditation you know and then I begin my day I don't want content that is very curated and manicured especially to I mean, news is usually bad news. Or the nightly news, right? Freak out of bed. Nope. I like staying abreast as far as what's happening locally, nationally, globally,

but I don't do that through tv I hunt and peck me too I have a few podcasts that I actually like where I can go to if I need to know my kids tell me they all know they're so aware and so conscious yeah Gen Z my god yeah yes so more. So I was saying something in that vein to a friend of mine, who's very, very active in the LGBT community. And I was talking about how, you know, the freedom that this generation, Gen Z has, you know, whether it's pronouns or, you know, gender fluidity, whatever that is. And she said, she's like, buddy, all on our shoulders, all on our shoulders. And I was like, okay, you know, you know, we have to fight the good fight. You know what I mean? We paved the way. So i mean which is why coming back to spiritual wellness that's what i also think that everything is leading toward that you know like all the talk about mental

health because you can't really hopscotch that you know you can't leapfrog through mental health to to spiritual health you know so it's paving the way so that something greater comes and greater comes i love that like i had nadia boltz weber on do you know who she is she's a badass pastor right she's got tattoos all over she's in denver like cussing on the stage and she well i mean respectfully but she is so authentic and real and that's what this generation demands yeah well i think that and i think the whole idea or like demystifying the idea of a guru. Yes. You know, that's I think that's also spiritual bypassing when you're just like, you know,

this person knows it all. The truth of it is none of us do. Not one. Nobody has all the answers. You know, so you go where you are pulled to. You go when you hear something and it resonates and you're like, what is that about? And also realizing that whomever your teacher is, is also human and learning. And frankly, those teachers sometimes need to be reminded that they are human and evolving, you know? So I think there's a shift there as well. And the Gen Zs of the world would call BS on that.

Oh, right away. Right. Whereas in we may not have and have it necessarily. We as in our generation and ones before. There is a lot of freedom in that too trust yourself learn to trust yourself find the guru inside that is it that is it yeah i love that we have many guides but the biggest guru is sitting right in your center. Yes, your passion, your purpose, it's all inside. And we've been chasing it outside of us, you know, for hundreds of years, talk about generational, there's so many reasons why we disconnect with our souls. And we do it at a very, very young age,

you know, they talk about disassociation is somewhere between zero and five, zero and seven. But it could also be generational because you weren't allowed to live your life the way it was meant to be lived. So that's carried forward. And then people are saying, and this is the thing that many things amuse me along the way, but like follow your bliss. I would say 90% of people on earth don't really know what their bliss is. Why? Because, you know, as babies and toddlers like, yay, let's do this and then the world set in and said no you won't no you can't blah blah or again generational things carry through so we have to excavate in order to find you know like okay if if our soul spirit passion intention purpose is sitting somewhere and we can't tap into it.

How do we get to it? You know, one of the analogies I use, which is so powerful for me because it's so simple. Do you know, did you ever watch the Black Stallion? Yeah. I don't know if you remember this, but for listeners who don't know it, just very, very quickly, the premise of the story is a Arabian horse and a child are in a shipwreck and they end up on an island together. And over time, they form a friendship and they bond and the gorgeous horse allows the child to ride bareback, the boy, and they're found and they try to take the horse away from the boy and it's

disastrous for both of them. They realize that the boy and the horse have to be together. And so the boy starts training as a jockey, which would make sense. And he learns all the rules and all of that. And then they are at a major race. And out of the gate, the boy and the horse stumble and fall behind. And I as I'm talking about, and I've mentioned a few times, but every time I do like every hair on my body races, because it is so brilliant. And what the boy does is start stripping away everything that he has so that he rides the horse the way he did on the Island. And of course, not to give the film away, but I, but they do end up winning because that's what he knows.

So he's like, F everything that you have taught me, I'm going to ride. I'm going to bond the way I always have. And the horse clearly picked up on it and they just rode. And that's life. I love that. Like so much of it is the undoing, the unlearning. So you can get to that true essence. And that is soul work.

And again, nothing woo-woo about it. Mine was dirty and dark and scary and all of that but so worth it god i love that so my hope is that maybe in the future there won't be you know so many of that however it is those stumbles in life those challenges that actually make us stronger yeah and I think that things shift, you know, I mean, some things take a really long time to shift. Other things just shift. Like I truly I mean, coming back to the LGBT community. I mean, I didn't think that we would have gay rights to the degree that we have like marriage. I'm married. I'm married to my wife. Hey, we have a gay governor. Yeah. I mean, like, you know, openly, proudly, you know, and I truly didn't think that would happen in my lifetime. I mean, I was out and all of that,

but I never thought that we would have, you know, and we certainly, we have some equal rights and still fighting for a lot more, but just marriage equality is huge. And again, that would not happen if it wasn't for the work that was happening before. So the work that we are intentionally, you and I now specifically, putting out into the world is surely meaningful. You know, the butterfly effect. And the voice. And the voice. And the choice.

Parasite. Parasite. For me, it was the question that I asked myself how much of what I believed in in my life was I told to believe in and of that how much had I experienced everything that I was everything I was trying to be everything I was trying to create was based off of what other people wanted me to be and do and that was my freedom once I was able to learn to live by experience rather than someone telling you what to believe. I'm being courageous enough to make that distinction. This is what I mean about it's sort of like, if I may use the analogy of AA, because and I'm not an alcoholic, but I think a lot of it works because

it is so practical, but there is the time where an alcoholic doesn't realize that they're an alcoholic, right? They don't realize that they have a problem. And so they're just doing their thing. And then there's suddenly the notion of maybe something not right here, right? And then there's the acceptance of that. And from then on, you start making shifts and choices based on that. It starts with awareness. I think it's awareness and acceptance. I completely believe that the first step to, I guess it would be the first and second step would be acceptance and awareness or awareness and acceptance.

It should probably go in, but being able to name it, that is it. It's like, oh, I've been living my life from the outside in. I see that now. I'm not going to do that anymore. So what do I need to do? Accepting all the things.

And acceptance not as an approval, but as an acceptance. For yourself. This is who I am. Or, you know, as the Buddhists say, you know, being with what is. You like it, you don't like it.ists say, you know, being with what is. Yes. You like it. You don't like it. Love that. It doesn't matter.

It is. It is. It is. Now what? Yes. We're always chasing, right? Something else. Like we want to be or do have something else.

Well, I think that if we're taking our cues from the outside, I mean, that's the whole purpose of the book is to really truly begin to live life from the inside out. Still do all the things if you are a architect, be an architect, if you are a vet, you know, be a great vet, you know, it doesn't mean that you have to shift any of that, but it's where you take your cues. And if you live in acceptance and authentically from the inside out, you're more aligned with your passion that burns inside of you. I know for myself, when I was a child, many of the things I used to pretend to do is kind of what I do now well tell me more about that like you know first of all I always wanted to be a mom so I'm carrying around baby dolls but then I'd set them all up and I would teach them and I would talk talk talk and teach them and I would have my

brother come in and I would teach him and I've always been my happiest when I'm in coaching roles when I'm able to nurture and guide people in that way I didn't think that was my calling but it ended up when I finally started feeling into myself accepting who I was and the things that made me happy, you know, that's where I went. You know, I also think that there is a hidden safety net or a insurance in some way. I don't know if insurance is the right word, but I think that the most we can do in this life is to live our purpose. And our purpose might just be purposeless, you know, whatever that it doesn't mean that we all have to strive for a bigger, you know, whatever it is, the CEO of your house, whatever it is, whatever it is. The CEO of your house.

Whatever it is, whatever it is. But if we commit to that, we will have missteps and make mistakes and all of that. But we are on the path that we are supposed to be. That inner guidance that is always there. Whereas if we're trying to do the right thing and you know make all the steps and all of that and again taking our cues we have one misstep and it's like oh f i didn't do this right or i didn't i should have done this this. Yeah. Whereas in like, like right now, you know, there's I, I am doing what it is that my soul tells me that I should be doing. That doesn't mean that I don't get angry, or I don't have my frustrations, or, you know, I am some fully realized person, which I think is a fantasy in this life.

General hospital. Right. And I feel alive and I feel connected and I will make mistakes. I will say things that I regret. All of those human things. But I know that I am living from the inside out. I know what is guiding me. And to me, that tells me that truthfully, ultimately, I can't do wrong. And frankly, when we live from that place, I think it's so difficult, almost impossible for me to hurt another person intentionally. I might do something that might be hurtful to somebody else.

But I'd imagine that so much of, they say hurt people hurt people yes but when you do that level of healing and you live life from that place that feels healed i i i just can't imagine creating any any harm whether that is to another person to our our planet, the natural byproduct. When someone says, you know, what can I do? You can only do you. And in doing you, everyone around you will fall in line. Just keep on working on you, building yourself, fighting your boys. Really there's many things that for some reason

you know I've no interest in or want to talk about and you can always tell like Oh word find or I'll stumble when I'm trying to talk about something that you know is definitely not aligned with me and then you know you get in this passionate place where you're you know speaking from the inside out and everything is just flowing and you can feel the power coming out of your voice you know what I'm talking about it's so that is so your soul you can feel it you know you start to have goosebumps like I've had several times in this conversation and I feel like that's the energy I want to be in

that's what I want to live you know that's you know people talk about um creativity that you know musicians talk about being in the flow that's it that's soul work you know yeah So your book, Free to Be, a six week guide to reclaiming your soul. I love that. What various corporate talks on the subject. And it's interesting to customize it so that it lands within that space. You know, so it isn't that, you know, some executive comes and it's like, okay, well, I'm on this retreat. I'm going to have to listen to her. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Yada, yada, yada.

But like, I want it to be so that it lights something in them. So you have to speak their speak, you know, in order to do that. And I, the challenge for me is how do I, you know, cause I've played the corporate game for a long time and have, have done it successfully. And, and I, you know, I would say that I've always been, you know, soulful in the work that I've done, but to communicate the language of the book in a way that resonates with executives is a another level. And I'm super excited about it. And it's challenging. I'm sure it is. But can I mean, I just think it's amazing that this is a space. Now that we are speaking of, I hear it all the time. I was just at a women's mastermind last night. There's many corporate people there. And I think it's beautiful.

I have clients who work. They're very techie. They're in the tech field. And this one client of mine, he created for his group a mindfulness, like 15 minutes, like once an hour. Or whatever you had to do, you know, breathe or, you know, there's all these suggestions. Like what? That's amazing. Yeah. It's beginning to slowly creep in.

And I think that what I ultimately want to communicate with the executives is much like the conversation that we've had you know if you can take that 15 minutes and deliberately pause and and take a moment to reflect and and sit in awareness and all of that yeah is. If you can incorporate it, begin integrating it within your life as much as possible, then that is it. You're doing the work.

So again, it doesn't have to be that you have to go elsewhere or, you know, on what I ended up taking on in order to spiritual, but you do have to be very intentional, you know, it's all about intentions. You know, wonder if your book, like falls in the lap of some of these CEOs and these tech business dudes. And all of a sudden they're like awakening to their soul within trusting. And all of a sudden, you know, it causes an entire company, you know, to awaken and be more intentional, be more accepting and aware. Can you imagine?

That would be, I mean, we talk about mental health and company sites, platforms like Better Up. I think we'll go into companies and talk about mental health and now HR company, HR departments within companies are very much interested in that and seek that out. I absolutely think that spiritual wellness is going to get more and more integrated in all of that offering. And like you said, they're there, people are now seeking it. I love I love spiritual wellness, because people are so hung up on language. Oh, for sure. And and I think it's important. I think spiritual wellness, spiritual health, because that is what you are talking about. It is a, a, a,

a health of spirit. Yeah. So you asked about my book and now I have to remember the question. Oh, you know how, you know, what, what do you hope that your readers will get from this book? I think number one, number one is to live a truly fulfilling life. And I don't want to say happy because I feel like happiness is an addiction. And it's temporal. Oxytocin. Correct. Correct. It goes and like all other emotions, it is transitory and not to be counted on. Temporary, it's temporary. Correct.

But to live a intentional, purposeful, rich life has to start from within. And in order for us to do that, we have to undo and unlearn a tremendous amount of things. So there's an amount of excavating, which is the entire first part of first half of my book, the first three weeks are all about that excavation. And it happens with the mind with the heart with the body, so that you clear your slate, you're naked or or or your runway so so you can land or take off and then the second half is like okay now you're connected with your soul what do

you do i'm a huge advocate of play play for adults because we don't play enough and i don't mean play as in go to vegas and do things that have to be in Vegas, but like cartwheels in your backyard. And I go into that specifically, like there's different play personality types and figuring out what your personality type is so that you can match the activity to it. What might be playful to you, though I have a feeling that our playfulness might be the same or similar. But not everybody's the same and everybody plays different. So that's really big. And then week five is all about connecting with your higher self. So you're the soul is yours. The higher self is collective. So you're tapping

into so it's the dance of the soul and spirit. And I think people tend to get that confused. And week six is all about redesigning your life now that you can, you know, how do you not even redesign, rewrite, right? Because you've got a blank slate. So, yeah, like, oh, I was reading this book the other day, and it was like it suggested what you just did, and the next page you're supposed to return, and it was just a blank page. And that was like the answer, and I loved that. Yeah, yeah.

Actually, and in that chapter, it's also like, I talk about practical spiritual wellness, because some of us have been at it for quite some time, others don't. So when they, you know, you say follow your bliss be like how how right so in the chapter where I talk about rewriting your story writing or rewriting your story I actually have a Venn diagram you know of that that will help you and I do I need that I'm visual but I mean that's I'm visual. But I mean, that's like, they're there. So the blank slate is fantastic. But then you still need guidance on how to create and it's not even guidance. I mean, there's the inner guidance, but it's it it comes back to the definition of like really being able to turn something that from the conceptual to the, the, the doable. Yeah. So that again, it's, it's practical. It isn't wishful thinking. It's like, okay, you know, I'm, I'm really good at this. I want to do this. I'm passionate about that. Okay. How do you bring all of that together?

So there, there's an action that takes place. There's an action and there's a, there's a method that I love it. So that's in the book as well. Correct. Okay. Like literally I'm getting off. You convinced me seriously to get, I mean, I think that you're, somebody might've sent me the book, but I like, I want it in my hands. So yes, it's coming out. It's coming out June 20th and it is available for pre- order right now. So you can order it right now. So I can send you a copy. And, and it's available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble when it comes out,

I'm really pushing for it to be an independent bookstores. So hopefully will be um in a lot of places but um again it's uh available for pre-sale right now i think this this past i don't know about you but like i feel like my years have had themes and this year has been like the theme of the creatrix like we are all creators and like really, truly realizing that, that you would be in each of us. You said that. So I, every year, um, and you're spot on in that every year, like I don't do, what do they call it? Um, Oh, the resolutions resolutions. I'm so far away from it that I don't even,. Because it's just like expectation setting. And, you know, then you get disappointed in yourself because you haven't done it. So I set an intention for each year.

And again, just do my best. You know? And so then there is no, oh, well, you didn't do that. It's like I am living that intention. Things didn't turn out the way that I may thought. And some do, sometimes it doesn't. But you're living that intention. There's no finish line necessarily.

Yeah. So you said yours is all about the creative. The creator. Yeah. And that each one of us are a creator. And our creators should have told us this. You say it the other day, I was thinking like, what if we treated our lives and each day as we would our child? Right. Like you care for it, you acknowledge it. But don't overwhelm it.

So true. Make sure it naps. You know what I mean? Yes. Plays. Gets out and gets air. And then that way you are creating because every day is intentional. Oh, so true.

And you're paying attention. And, oh, you're not getting, you know, this. I'm going to give you that, which we would naturally do as parents. If you considered every day as your child that you are giving birth to or you're creating and nurturing and supporting, how would you treat it? So true. I'm going to go spend the rest of my day treating myself like my own child. I'm going to go commit a lot of heresy. I love it.

Yes, that's what I'll take it away. I love it. Thank you so much. You've been just amazing. You brought so much gnosis, which means knowledge. And I just appreciate it. Tell everybody where they can find you. Anything related to my book and the six-week process is under my name. So shereenadassam.com, my social handles on Instagram and TikTok are shereen Edesom as well. And I do my very best to, when I don't reply to comments unless somebody asks me a question

and sometimes I can't see those either, especially if they're weeks later. But if people direct message me, I really, and I actually really like it, you know, to ask me a question or whatever, I do my very best to get back to people or through my site. What is that again? Your website? Yeah. Shireen at a song.com. Everything is Shireen. I try to make it easy though. The spelling of it isn't so easy. Awesome. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you coming on.

Truly. Thank you for having me on your show. And the conversation's been wonderful. Thanks for listening to Sense of Soul podcast. And thanks to our special guests for joining me. If you want more of Sense of Soul, check out my website at www.mysenseofsoul.com where you can work with me one-on-one or help support Sense of Soul Podcast by donating to my coffee fund. Thanks for listening.