Sense of Soul - Glowing Deeper with Phill Webster

Episode Date: April 26, 2024

Today on Sense of Soul podcast we have back Phill Webster he is a writer, actor, a knowledgeable confident speaker and spiritual teacher. After living abroad for 20 years, he returned to the UK and ventured into acting. He has since gone on to appear in movies alongside Sylvester Stallone, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Elle Fanning, among others. Last year Phill came on Sense of Soul to share his book Letting Glow which was his first book, and a profoundly personal account of grief after losing his mother in 2021. Phill realised that he had been dismissing spiritual calls to action his entire life.  Phill has trained with Indigenous Shamans from North and South America, as well as world-renowned mediums such as James Van Praagh, Gordon Smith, and Claire Broad. Phill has also studied Female Spirituality In The Middle Ages at the University of Barcelona, and is a trained meditation teacher as well as a personal trainer. He joined me again to share his newest book Glowing Deeper, from ancient teachings of indigenous shamans to Celtic folklore, right up to modern-day mediumship, he expands on the teachings of his first book Letting Glow and takes a practical approach to demystifying the mystical, enabling us to implement ancient esoteric truths in our daily lives. https://phillwebster.com www.collectiveinkbooks.com/o-books/our-books/glowing-deeper-letting-glow-trilogy Learn more about Sense of Soul at www.senseofsoulpodcast.com
  

Hello, my soul-seeking friends. It's Shanna. Thank you so much for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast. Enlightening conversations with like-minded souls from around the world. Sharing their journey of finding their light within, turning pain into purpose, and awakening to their true sense of soul. If you like what you hear, show me some love and rate, like, and subscribe. And consider becoming a Sense of Soul Patreon member, where you will get ad-free episodes, monthly circles,

and much more. Now go grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Today, back with us, we have Phil Webster. He is a writer, actor, and spiritual teacher. He joined me last year to tell me about his book, Letting Glow, a profound personal account of his experience with grief in losing his mother in 2021. He invites the reader to join him on a journey of exploring our connection with our higher consciousness. And today, he's joining us to tell us about his new book, Blowing Deeper, where he effortlessly blends the mystical into the everyday practical.

His book includes meditations and the history of the esoteric ancient beliefs and ceremonies. And since I've met Phil, I've become very fond of him and I can't wait to share him with you again. So please welcome Phil Webster. Hey. How are you doing? I'm super excited to see you again. How have you been?

I mean, where have you been? Yeah. Yeah. Where have I been? That's true. It's been a strange year. Like randomly went to Iraq to shoot a TV show for five weeks just prior to the current situation in the Middle East.

It didn't touch whereabouts i was but there were like echoes of it edging towards where we were so i kind of took the initiative and got out of there a week before i should have done but we finished filming and everything so it was you know it was fine but yeah it was quite an adventure getting out of there it was like literally running for the plane that kind of story over oh my gosh are you serious that's crazy yeah it was there was some confusion around visas and stuff but i'd overstayed my visa and the production company said they'd take care of it they didn't i got to the airport they're like well yeah you can't go and i'm like no i'm going

and it was it was like down to the wire you know the thing was so there was an american air base next to the airport getting repeatedly attacked by drones during that week so nobody was killed a couple of people who had minor injuries but my concern was that if they kept attacking the airport, getting repeatedly attacked by drones during that week. So nobody was killed. A couple of people had minor injuries. But my concern was that if they kept attacking the American Air Base, and this was kind of like independent terrorist groups, essentially, the airport might get shut down, which had happened before, before I'd ever gone there. And then I'm like stuck there for longer. And so I just kind of got out of there where I could. And all you know, overall, it was a positive experience. But I was happy to get back to London. Yeah.

You know, sometimes you hear about things across the world and you're so far from it that you don't really fully understand. Yeah. I mean, you know, I'm definitely not going to pretend that I hadn't experienced anything that, you know, the horrific things that have been going on lately. And it was really the week I left was kind of the week that everything kicked off and i was in kurdistan i must admit that as so far they've they've managed to sort of keep keep out of the whole thing but they do have a lot of enemies around them because they're trying to be independent of iraq but they're still part of iraq iran are fans of them turkey are fans of them all that so all this stuff i didn't know before i'd gone there so So I kind of learned about it very quickly.

And yeah, I've got to admit, like the sort of attitude from people just walking down the street, because I kind of stood out over there. And like everyone was super polite. And then all of a sudden they weren't. Like people kind of pushing me out of the way and stuff like this. And I was like, oh.

So there was a shift in. Yeah. Yeah. And I was thinking I might just imagine it or what but then um a colleague of mine that was working on the same tv show in his in his 60s and he was like it's property time you go you go he was like i've seen things escalate out of nothing you know he's been there his whole life like yeah all right i'll take your advice but yeah you know overall positive experience people were really nice and i learned a lot more about acting than than i used to yeah yeah it's intense it was intense you know

i don't know i've also mentioned that was in this place called herbal citadel which is allegedly the oldest citadel sort of a continuously inhabited citadel like in the world so like from ancient mesopotamia and where they believe that spiritual writing first came from and I was like well how weird that I'll end up there you know not that I feel like I'm any spiritual writer or anything like that but it was just kind of a weird synchronicity and I was there and and it was a really interesting place you know it was kind of like an old castle and it was just built on this mound that they just kept building on for millennia so it's just kind of like this big hill with this uh the structure on top of it and i got there and i was

thinking well am i gonna like you know touch something and just be transported to the black you know what i mean um but nothing i didn't get anything from it but somebody pointed out to me you know who knows you know like uh maybe whatever i learned that in a spiritual sense might might come later on oh that's so it's so amazing i know when you had told me that you're over there at the time i was reading like the sumerian text and yeah right i remember now yeah i was totally in a deep dive with all that stuff so i was fascinated you know more about it than i do that's for sure you know, I was reading the script. I would have loved to, yeah, told you to go sneak and take some pictures of some ancient relics or something.

It's crazy, too, because you think about all of these places that are so ancient and so holy and tell so much about early civilization and possibly even how we came to be. And they're having war and destruction in some of these places, and it's heartbreaking. Yeah, no, it is. And it's all, I mean, it's beyond my understanding. You know, of course, you know, we're all hearing about it, and I don't want to be ignorant to it. But at the same time, it's kind of difficult to see it, isn't it?

You know, it's like, really really now we're still still doing this like in in 2024 but yeah yeah yeah how have you been i've been good i've been you know i you know i kind of feel like what you just said like i don't want to be ignorant to you know all of the negativity that's going on in wars and even with America. And but then in the same, I'm trying to just stay in my own space and kind of my own business and continue to work on, you know, my own journey. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I just listened to your podcast on genealogy. I found that fascinating. Firstly, because I've always been obsessed with new orleans i've never been there so all these guys are talking about all around that and the year from there and all well this is like really deep you know i didn't even pretend the only reason i'm like

fascinated with it was as a kid and then all through my adulthood i read all of anne rice's books and she she described the place like so beautifully. Well, that's because she lived there. Yeah, yeah. And I was just like, you know, I always thought that I'd get around to visiting it at some point, or before now, still haven't. Well, I'll meet you out there and I'll give you a tour. Yeah, please do.

Yeah. No, I'd love to go there. I really would. You know, I have a story about Anne Rice and the house that she lived in. Yeah. I want to say was, well, it was right across from this place that my mom went to school. It was called, well, back then it was the Ursuline Nuns Convent. When my mom went there, it was the St. Mary's Italian School. And next door to Anne

Rice was a house that I had found that I had ancestors that lived in. And I learned about the story of the king's daughters. This is so fascinating. So when the men were sent over or those first boats that went over from France to the port of New Orleans, those very first ones in like 1700s, there was more men than women of course because the men were building and so and as they built and start to expand and colonize they didn't have enough women to you know continue the population to have a grow and so the king was like well i'll send you women okay yeah you mentioned that I heard you mentioned that. Yeah. It's so crazy. But the story is, is that they came in at night and it had taken two months to travel and they were pale and hungry and you were lucky to live if you even got over the

transatlantic. And so they get over here and they arrive in the middle of the night and all of their luggage were in these pine boxes and they lined them up the Mississippi river and the nurse line nuns took them in and bathed them and gave them clothes, you know, like white gowns is what it was said. And then they let them kind of like explore because, you know, they'd been on water for so long. So all of a sudden, the men or the people of New Orleans that were there see all of these women out of nowhere in the middle of the night in their white gowns and long pine boxes lined up on the Mississippi. And that's where the rumor of vampires started. Really? All right. All right. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah. and that's where the rumor of vampires started really all right all right interesting interesting yeah no reason why i should have that other than being a sort of vampire geek but yeah

no that's really interesting never heard that before you could see how that would you know they'd be walking down the street where the hell did all these women come from and where are those boxes that are like that right yeah yeah walking they're coffins yeah yeah interesting but yeah so i just really really enjoyed that episode i've always struggled finding out any history of my own in terms of uh family and heritage and stuff like that so yeah i found it really interesting i've sort of gone through the thing i went through 23 and me or something like that and then i just stopped you know i mean I mean I can see all these you know people going in every direction mostly in America actually yeah but I tried to sort of track down my father's lineage and he was adopted right well the last time I spoke to him I was 18

he'd never met them he did track down his dad but his dad was a soldier from the states who met an English woman and that's how my dad came about so he went back to the states my dad actually tracked him down i think he used to get like a birthday card like every year or something so he went over there and he was like okay nice to meet you but you know i've got a wife family and all that stuff but anyway yeah this woman that i got in touch with she was just seemed ultra suspicious of me you know and i was like i'm not after anything i just would love to know where I originate from. But that was the end of it. They didn't didn't keep up the correspondence.

Anyway. Yeah. So interesting. You know, I've had people on my ancestry.com contact me one in particular, this young man. He just had his first child, you know, young in his 30s. And he said, you know, I was trying to figure out how we were related and he's pretty closely related, you know, like second cousin, first cousin, second cousin. And we figured out, you know, he was adopted. And so it was much like

that, but I connected him with his sisters who were also adopted. I mean, it was just actually a really beautiful story because they all end up connecting and meeting and became kind of family, but he didn't really connect with his parents so much, but with his siblings, he did. But you located them then? Yeah, I helped them all find each other. Yeah, it was really, really a beautiful thing. Yeah, it is. Yeah. And they're my cousins too that I never knew existed.

So, and I still keep in touch. You want to hear something so weird is one of them looks almost identical to me. So much, like more than my own children. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah, no, I've got, you know all this family out there and and that's it I feel

you know I've got a few cousins and stuff and and from my mom's side but um yeah that's that's pretty much it for me yeah you know I hear that sometimes and I fear it for myself how life changes so much when when both of your parents are gone yeah yeah yeah it does i mean that's actually three years this week then since my mom passed um sorry which like oh no thanks it's interesting you know like because there's always you know the first the first christmas the first anniversary of her passing her first birthday my all these firsts you know that that first year and then and then for me the second year it was still still staying you know this one I feel like it's now it's like all right I can do this the anniversary of passing just came

around and you know I was like all right I'll acknowledge it but it wasn't you know this outpouring of just you know sorrow or anything like that at this point it's three years on it's kind of like all right well it is what it is at this point, you know? So, yeah. You know, grief is so weird. You know how they say it comes in waves? And it's so true because even I had a moment last week about my dad. I just super sad.

It lasted for days. And there was one point I was laying in my bed and it was almost like, I don't know if you've ever had an anxiety attack, but like I couldn't shake it, the grief. And it just, it was so painful. And I remember like tossing in my bed a little bit going, I can't, I can't shake this. And it's so uncomfortable and it's so painful. So it was really weird. I mean, that's been almost eight years. Right. I expect that it'll hit me me every now and again but it's just that first year I just really like crawled into it I got to a point where I just felt like I can't physically cry anymore there was it was just like this is too much I can't I can't just carry on

like this you know and and I think now it kind of you know I feel it rise and then it's like I'm not done enough of this now you know so i don't know of course we all experience it in different ways and you know no no way's the right way i guess um just yeah it's gonna deal with it and and i suppose just get used to it i think that's uh yeah that's what it comes down to norm yeah like using words like easier or better don't feel don't feel correct but I think you can adapt and sort of mold yourself around it it's there but at some point it seems that you have to get on with the rest of life right there's a kitty cat outside the the living room like she

was just going nuts a minute ago yeah just better and they're just still circling me. So I'm just like, no. Oh. Well, since I've had you on last, you've wrote two books. Yeah. Well, yeah. And in the process of writing the third one. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. You read the second one, right? Yes. I thought that. Did you not send me some of the third? Oh, you did. You sent me a little bit, a few little things because you've had such

synchronicity yeah i mean that i guess we should be talking about the second one but that like but even in the second one lots of synchronicity right right yeah it's yeah it's a i felt like so the end of by the end of writing letting glow i i felt that i'd learned so much about mediumship spiritual practices in general that I didn't really know anything about before I've got so much to learn still but I felt well you know by the time I finished it I felt like I was kind of light years ahead of when I started it you know so I just had this whole other stuff that I wanted to talk about and just going back to grief as well kind of when I finished that first book after my mom had passed away

when it ended then I was like okay shit now I'm like now i've got to deal with this again you know so it was the books came initially through grief but i was learning all these amazing things that it kind of helped and then i just felt like okay i've got to share this with people and then yeah like you say you know kind of a lot of amazing experiences, kind of mystical experiences that never really taken much notice of before, you know, until all this stuff around my mom passing. Yeah. So, you know, it's interesting because because you know I felt like it my the process of of what I was learning was never ending so this book was either going to be like a bible like a huge yeah ask and it was stressful thinking of it that way yes and you've got a deadline, right? So it's all hers. I know.

Oh, I love Neil Donald Walsh so much. Yeah, no. Yeah. What was it? May? Did you say or something? He said May 1st. Yes.

I'm starting to sweat as you say this. No pressure. Yeah. But, you know, the task is a lot less when I kind of took the pressure off of ever having an end to this first book because I felt like it was never going to end because I was constantly evolving and growing and still receiving. There was still so much more. Like it wasn't – there was no end to it. So I felt like the book was going to go on forever. But I guess that's kind of like with life and this journey.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I sort of had an opposite experience with that in this last year since, you know, I wrote the first two books back to back. And then I got caught up in the sort of publicity of the first book and, you know, doing talks and a few workshops and, of course, podcasts and all that kind of stuff. As much as I enjoy this process, it kind of took me away from sort of, and of course, I've got to do this and that, you know, bits and pieces, jobs here and there to pay the bills. So it kind of took me away from,

you know, the sort of more creative side. And I'm like, where's the, where's the third book? You know, I'm like, I just wrote two back to back. Where's the third one, you know? And then when it started coming through, well, you know, I just started writing actually, right at the end of my trip to Iraq finally. And then I was thinking, OK, so here it is. But now as it's as it's going on, I feel like it's not part of that. Actually, I feel like it's something else on its own. So, yeah, I feel like this is this other one now is turning into something else entirely.

I mean, it's very much connected to it. You know, it's still my story. But yes, it's crazy how it's working out. It's divine. I mean, it's something. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I mean, it's crazy how it's working out. It's divine. I mean, it's something. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I mean, it's so strange. There was like in the second book in Glowing Deeper,

you know, there were little bits again. And even with the first one that I believe I didn't write. And then there were in some parts in the second one that seemed to be like a conversation, like brief little bits. And then this third one, it's just all me having a conversation with something. So it's like, I'm going nuts.

But I mean, you know, obviously I'm not the first to, to do this. We're just talking about Neil Donald Walsh and others before him and after him. But it's interesting because I'll test it. You know, I'll be like, I know that I don't know these things, you know. Isn't that so crazy? That's, that's the whole thing that is so remarkable in my journey too. I'm like, I could have never came up with this shit on my own there's just no way like shanna does not think this way i don't you know i have no background that would explain some of the things that i've received yeah yeah that's

that's it exactly like i know that i don't know that's smarter than me is right like if i try to if i try to talk about it i can't talk about it i can write it read it later but if i try to talk to you about it on the fly i'm i don't know how to talk about that stuff you know what i have the same especially when i'm talking to like scholars about certain things right like history and stuff it's like well i'm not sure about all that but I'm this is what I received and when they tell me that these things weave together yeah I'm like well that's just incredible that's just weird like I did not know that yeah no I'm sort of I put up a bit of a fight at the start of it and now I'm just kind of trusting it and seeing let's see where it goes yeah all right so you're finally

you're letting glow and now you're, um, but you know what, that's the journey. It's almost like when I have to go back and read and edit the beginning of my book, it's so far from me. And I think you had expressed this too, that you are so far beyond that now. you're like graduating with each book yeah that's it that's it I've definitely still got so much to learn I'm just starting a new circle because I haven't really been sort of actively sort of developing mediumship and all of that stuff so yeah I feel like I'm just starting it's like day one again studying with a lady that actually sort of helped inspire all of this called claire

broad i wrote about her in both books first medium that i read some of her books and then i went to a class of hers and now gonna be in her circle so yeah i can't wait for that yeah i feel like it was kind of you know i've been in other circles along the way i've met other mediums but i feel like coming back to cla Claire that it's like all right now I can you know sort of get on with this properly yeah full circle joining her circle that's it so how much of what you're receiving today is connected to just being aware because I know you were saying you were busy and it was taking you away from that my personal opinion you know knowing you and you have a really good way of making space for yourself. I don't. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I suppose, again, I've caught up, got caught up

with stuff. I've had to, like I say, do this and that, you know, random jobs. I'm trying not to commit to anything. I'm tentatively thinking about how to maybe do an online circle myself, something like that, possibly make a bit of money working within where I'm heading, you know, but in the meantime, I'm just doing sort of menial jobs. So I suppose the benefit of that is that I can sort of pick and choose where I can make time for myself. I think one of the themes of letting glow or both books was, and sort of in answer to your question, now is again, I talk about it a lot, but stepping back from your thoughts and sort of making that space that you don't get caught up in all the all the madness of everything that you're getting

bombarded with and you sort of can detach and be the observer or the backseat driver or whatever time you want to call it and be in that awareness and i feel i might be lucky that I find it sort of relatively easy. Yeah. To be able to just take a moment and it comes quite easy. Do you crave it in some ways sometimes? I do, but also I'm guilty of forgetting, you know, forgetting to do it. I'll get caught up as we all do in all everyday stuff. And then when I take that moment, I'm like, oh yeah, of course.

And I was hoping to do it before our conversation but I've been running everywhere today but yeah I think that's what the key is and and yeah the third book is very much about that there's some stuff that again that that I've learned through it that I haven't read elsewhere but it's essentially reciting pretty much what we're all talking about you know about just all we've got is now we can create our own reality I mean I'm not you, reinvent reinventing the wheel here. Yeah. And that, you know, we need to take time for ourselves and each other.

And this seems to be the overall theme through all of these works. Right. You know, from, from, from all of us. Yeah. Yeah. I know. So, you know, it's so funny because oftentimes when I feel that things aren't going,

you know, smoothly, or maybe I don't even realize they are, because I'm so busy or whatever, I realize that it's truly just me in my own way. I'm creating the chaos and allowing it. Yeah. No, same with me. Same with me. Every time, actually, when I slow down and look at it all. Yeah. But in terms of, yeah, just kind of creating that space to get

into that awareness i feel like possibly relatively lucky that i can just pretty much turn on and off at will i think i don't know if that's through perseverance practice or what we talked about before last time when i i was talking about having that possible psychotic break i'm sorry i don't mean to i don't mean to dismiss uh you know anyone that does have a have a go through anything like that but i thought i was going insane i thought i wanted to check out of here and then i'm looking at it from a different angle thankfully i met the right person that said no no this is an uh this is an awakening maybe a psychotic break and an awakening can potentially be the same thing i'm definitely not qualified to say and i'm definitely not dismissing mental illness but i feel like after that very profound

experience that i went through for for a year the better part of two years i felt like i came out of it able to just sort of tune into the moment and just just sort of focus like on the constant moment of now you know which which is just blows your mind when you start going into all of it you know oh yeah for sure and you know what i've i was just i would say that also equivalent to that mental shift there's also sometimes pain a decade ago it was what kind of put me over so i think it can come in many forms yeah i guess that's being multi-dimensional yeah no that's it i i feel like i'm coming back to that again and again and i and i kind of didn't want to make that thing but just going back to that moment of now that seems to be my message

for all of it you know the mediumship is fascinating and you know i will continue developing it but i feel like it's turning into more about the experiences um that i'm able to share and and that one seems to resonate a lot because that whole connection with the moment of now thing is is so crazy you know it just goes off into stuff that i feel like i'm not qualified to talk about in terms of quantum physics and timelines and like crazy stuff that all just comes from, you know, being able to connect with this moment right now. Yeah. I feel like I'm sort of learning about it all the time, even though I went through what I felt was a horrific experience of being trapped in the

moment of now. Some years ago, I sort of put that behind me. And now it's like, here we are again. I'm just thinking about that, writing about that a lot. You know what I'm wondering now? You know how a lot of times you hear of people being stuck and I know a lot of people who are stuck I wonder if that's similar you know of what they're experiencing I suppose the variables of it I mean this again just just talking from that experience I wasn't caught up in kind of worrying about this and that I I truly would felt detached from myself looking at my own thoughts yeah and but it was like thrust on me really quickly and then it was just like now now now now couldn't switch it off I couldn't think what am I going to do tonight what did I do yesterday

what's happening next week it was kind of like what the hell is this like where did that moment just go like this is insane like when you get down to the nuts and bolts of it i started reading sort of scientific literature and sort of came to the conclusion that nobody actually knows what's going on you know um just these theories there are sort of traditional theories of the timeline that we all you know agree upon and which is clearly a thing because we go from a to b and and we can look at the past and have a shared past and all the rest of it but then there is the only way that we're experiencing everything is actually just now all the time.

So if there's only now all the time, then anything's possible, right? You know, it's crazy. And I don't know if I mentioned this. I might have in the last time I had you on. But your experience reminds me that now, now, now reminds me of when I was doing the small dose of mushrooms. Of microdosing, yeah. Microdosing, there you go.

I felt like I couldn't get out of the now. I couldn't think about hours ago and I couldn't really go forward. Everything was just so very present to me. And of course, I wasn't trying to reject it. That was intentional. So if it just came on like that out of nowhere, it was, it was like somebody had spiked me.

Essentially. I just woke up and then something just switched. And I was like, whoa. And just flew into a full blown panic attack. Try to walk it off. Thought, okay,

I tried to drink it away. I tried to work out of the gym. I tried to do everything I could to be distracted. You went to therapy, didn't you? And told your therapist? Well, yeah. I went to two doctors that said it was psychosis, gave me meds, meds didn't touch it.

I took sleeping pills and I would wake up and it would just all start all over again. It was kind of horrific. You know, people talk about being in the present moment of this beautiful thing. But it was, yeah, yeah. But it was like the polar opposite of that guy's experience seriously i've never read that book so actually i'm not oh that is the best

you've got to that's one of the best books yeah but i guess we came to the same conclusion but like um in very different ways and through meditation i kind of sort of came back online or offline depending which way you look at it. A few years down the line, I seem to have can appreciate what actually happened. You know? Yeah. So are you the one who told me to read that book by Viktor Frankl?

Don't think so. I'm not sure of the name. Oh, maybe I told you to read that book. Maybe. This book is about being basically in the midst of the absolute worst chaos if you can imagine in the concentration yeah but i want to say he was a psychologist and he was using these tools you know to get through this yeah but oftentimes like if i am in a room of like you know a bunch of negative people or even just too many people

and there's so much energy going on like the best thing I can do is like put myself in this bubble you know protection like wrap myself I like imagine myself like being wrapped up really quickly like like a superhero wrapping myself up in this protective bubble. And it is like this strange mental state. If we could become more accepting, like if you would have been, okay, I'm going to accept this now, instead of rejecting it, not because you didn't know what was going on, it happened so abruptly. But I mean, I bet there's lots of different mental states that we're faced with like that where if we had the tools and knew what to do i've thought about this as well because like i i sort of relate it to going into this huge panic you know whenever whatever happened happened and and i and i have thought you, well, being in that state and what felt like the purest state of awareness to the point where I personally seemed like absurd, you know, my life seemed absurd, everything about it.

There was just now. This is all there is. If I could have tapped into that, like you say, in a different way and just sort of accepted it and then sort of been like, okay, I want a million dollars, you know, like what's going on? You know, could I suddenly start manifesting like crazy or something i don't know because i mean i i mean i didn't just know to wrap myself up i mean of course i had horrible experiences prior to that when i didn't know what to do that put me into panic yeah i live right across the street from a train station relatively quiet street street, but just around the corner, it's like people just getting on and off trains. And I often use the place as a shortcut.

And when I first moved to this apartment that we're in now, I would be in a great mood. I'd go across the street, cut through the train station, and I'd be like, damn, what the hell? What's the matter with me now? You know what I mean? And somebody pointed out, they were like, stop cutting through the train station.

You're just picking up this mass of people that just just like pushing past and everyone's in a hurry and this and that and you're just picking up on everyone's energy like out of nowhere then it puts you in a bad mood you know um and and then yeah that person was telling me about putting a protective bubble around yourself like when you're kind of in those sort of overwhelming social situations yeah i call it my unfuckwithable bubble it's a good name yeah i'm not sure if i could repeat it like without my best friend mandy one time oh my god we were laughing so hard it was on a podcast when she was my co-host she said it's like putting on a condom yeah yeah that that

works too i mean i guess it kind of is visualize it yeah yeah yeah you can visualize all kinds of things i mean i i laugh sometimes you know because you'll run into people and they're in a bad mood and you're like i haven't i haven't even seen you or sir i don't know you you know and i've always said you could just put flames in front of you you just right in front of you visualize them yeah yeah yeah you should just like step out here in london at eight o'clock in the morning people are on their way it's like horrendous horrendous way to start the day but you know i mean the energy of the world is it's got to be affecting us even if it's not consciously you know affecting you it's affecting you know it's like it spreads kind of like how kovat did with fear yeah i think i think it all works like that yeah absolutely

yeah it's crazy we're in some weird times and so that's why i mean what is your hope with with your second book glowing deeper we're going deeper Yeah, I just feel that this kind of wrote what I would like to read. So it very much focuses on mystical aspects and history. Like I kind of wrote a sort of brief history of the esoteric. I say, again, there's so much, you know. If I was going to read a book about mediumship and ghosts and paranormal, as well as continues my kind of own grieving journey this book's less about me and more about the bigger picture i think but i just thought i'd have some

fun with it and throw this whole section in the middle about sort of like celtic rituals uh witchcraft i remember reading this now this is a while ago that i read this but i'm but now i'm remembering and i appreciate it all the time yeah well you mentioned you mentioned like yeah i'm sorry i'm going off track a little bit you mentioned about the whole norleans aspect you know that i was like oh man i totally missed the trick there you know i was talking about witchcraft in in europe the 1200s um it went on for a long while i forgot about the whole sort of voodoo side of things as well yeah would have tied nicely into it but anyway just kind of all these things came about and then just looking into spells tarot cards astral projection anything that i thought would be like interesting

to somebody that would might read a book about mediumship at the end of the day and just kind of just try to touch on as much as i could and again i was learning about these things as i wrote it you know so it was just kind of just like the excitement of getting it all out there. I remember doing the rosary with my mom and Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord's with thee, you know, and I know you didn't grow up like that, you know, receiving, but, you know, we have all of these little sayings and rituals, they're rituals. And he had brought to me that you know that's a spell you know when you're saying you know our father or whatever these are all like spells yeah definitely definitely that yeah that's something really interesting as well that i kind of sort of came up with when i

was learning about witchcraft you know and talking about spells in general just sort of essentially what what are they they're kind of like affirmations in a way right we're talking about the reality that we want to come from these words that we're chanting or it's kind of setting this thing into motion which you would would like to happen i feel like there's so many so many similarities and in many of these things and yeah that's that's interesting like you say it's crazy like and again when you sort of break it down and you think about the power that are in words themselves as well but then the power really comes from the perception of it right like the intention yeah so i had this

circle a while back and we're talking about like the garden of eden and how you know eating from the tree of knowledge was going to give you this knowledge of how to discern whether something was good or bad. But what I think is good or bad, Phil, you may see as something totally different. And across the world, especially, we all know on a small scale what's right and wrong, what's good or bad. But as you move further what i do may be totally you know evil to somebody else yeah especially like just having been going back to that middle east kind of thing yeah so who's right or wrong you know in in some way yeah yeah really nobody when it when it comes to that yeah i always look for the the etymology of a word may mean. I think I might have told you that the word heresy actually means choice.

Did I tell you about that? I mean, that blows my mind. Yeah. You know, I mean, so heresy was such a bad thing. I mean, you could die for it. You know, if you, you know, talking about even like the witch trials and stuff like that, you know, anything outside of this little bubble. And that it was the choice. You could not have choice.

Yeah, that's fascinating. Yeah. When you talk about that, that whole section of my book on witchcraft is talking about heresy as well. Yeah. Around the 1200s, there were these group of, there weren't nuns, big eons, I think you pronounce it big eon. There were kind of almost nuns without the complete devotion to the church.

And they kind of started talking about this very, how we talk about spirituality today, of this, you know, sort of all embracing God rather than the agreed upon sort of Catholic version up until that time. The notion of the self being connected with the divine, the universe, the all that is, at an intuitive level, rather than following religious doctrines and essentially the church called that heresy and and burning people at the stake they burnt the nuns yeah well they weren't nuns they were called begins they sort of yeah they hopefully i'm pronouncing it right i believe it's i believe it's just like we would say begin, but it's spelled kind of like G-U-I-N-E-S. But yeah, they would associate themselves with monks at the time.

And one sort of, I don't know how entertaining the idea was, but the one part of what I wrote in Glowing Deeper was these monks who were associated with the begins, they were kind of in separate quarters, right, in these monasteries where they stayed. And some of the monks started complaining about having erotic dreams. And essentially, the first culprit was, well, it was them, beguines, that are talking about, you know, spirituality for all. And, you know, we have this all-loving God that sort of, you know, and they were the first ones to get the blame. And I believe, I mean, and other people have their interpretations about this,

but that really sounded to me like the very beginning of the witch, you know, of course, the witch is talked about in the Bible as well. But yeah, you know, this kind of- Blaming the woman for just being feminine. Yeah. And then one of these ladies wrote a book and self-published it essentially. And people started taking notice of it. And she got burned at the stake. Yeah, in Paris. I would have been burned, Phil. What was that? They say witchcraft act as they called it and that was essentially people hunting witches you know which which went up a lot and of course in salem

and all the rest of it it wasn't abolished in the uk until 1951 which is nuts again right i mean no one was doing it by that but it still existed until the 50s yeah oh my god isn't it it's like 20 years before i was born no wonder i remember doing some ancestry for someone you know who was in salem and i actually talked about it in that episode yeah i mean this woman in her papers because you could actually read some of the court papers of the salem witch trial i mean literally it was it said she had soap making materials right right yeah that was one of her offenses yeah yeah like you're reaching yeah yeah no it's it's yeah it's horrific it really is so it kept us small and it kept us from going deeper you know into our intuition into that now into that space well that's it we'd

be i mean me too you know we we'd be burning the stake you know like me anyone that said talk to dead people or or any of that yeah kept that stuff to yourself back then yeah it's it's it's a shame too i mean I had one time somebody tell me that I was promoting evil because I promoted self-love. Right, right. Yeah, that's a new one. I mean, that's a pretty narrow way to look at things, I'd say. I've had a couple of people on.

I mean, I'm not really much of a TikTok person or anything like that, but for the few things that I've posted on there, I've had a couple of interesting responses to that, like messing with stuff you shouldn't mess with and all the rest i've heard that too isn't that so sad they're so conditioned by all of these things that obviously held great fear you know i guess but it is passed down in us and so I think that's one of the reasons why when you do come to have this awareness that you're more than a meat suit, then all of a sudden you think, is this psychosis? What is this? Like your body, your mind starts to reject what it's been trained to do for generations even though

i'm 100 all in with this i'll catch myself still being skeptical about most things you know i've seen mediums at work that have been amazing you know and then a few days will go by and i'll be like yeah you know is that conditioning or what is that or is it just sort of natural is that our inherent way to look i i don't know you know but it's like i kind of don't buy into everything just because it's a spirit something spiritual but i feel like it's my sort of natural state to to question everything and i wonder what that's where that's from i wonder if that is from conditioning like you say just uh yeah i think i do that too still well in fact i had that not too long ago and you know what i decided to do is i i decided to just say whether or not that's their experience well yeah

that's it at the end of the day you know either people were like okay and quietly just didn't mention it after they read it or people loved it you know there were some people even said one of the best spiritual books I've ever read but anyway it was very divisive you know and all I can do is say what's happened to me what's worked for me yeah what what's opened up to me and and you know this is the way that I've gone on to sort of um explore it and these are the things that have happened along the way but i'm definitely not trying to convince anyone you know um yeah but but interestingly you know like a lot of the stuff that i wrote about five years ago i'd have been like no i don't think so you know um so i get it why people are skeptical yeah i would have thought it was nuts i would have been like that girl is

crazy right yeah i would have i mean i was so conditioned you know I just I've always been one of those people who just wanted to do as I'm told and be good and do all the right things but it was never for me you know all of the that being was based on other people's beliefs conditions and the system yeah so yeah i didn't have the religious upbringing that you had but just i i feel like i received an insight through writing this third book and i was like god that makes so much sense whatever was coming through whether it's me or a guide or what have you but i was just talking about how i i kind of had this oppressive stepdad, stepbrother, all that kind of thing, and how I just made myself a lot smaller to make him feel more comfortable.

You know, and there's something I'd never even thought of before I started writing this book. And it's not really like stuff that I'm harboring or sort of carrying around, like, you know, I believe that I dealt with that stuff a while back. But I was like, yeah, I never kind of thought of that in that respect. That's huge. Yeah, like in a similar way to sort of conform into a religious upbringing something like that i just kind of like put this stuff away to make this dude feel

more comfortable about himself you know and then i noticed that would follow through with any kind of authority especially male authority in my life i would always kind of put myself in the back i'll be like i don't know i'll let them take charge you know this is just to keep the peace you know to not sort of step up and say well no this is what i think i would rather just let somebody else take the reins until recently yeah but yeah you know it's interesting too is i think that a lot of these things even if you're not brought up in religion there's it's still so very generational. It's coming through the generations, and people are breaking from that, but a lot of it does root back to all of that.

Yeah, yeah. Which I think you saw in your book when you were going through researching the esoteric and all of the her heresy yeah yeah absolutely absolutely yeah i'd be really interested to sort of learn more about past life trauma all that kind of stuff people are talking about it a lot lately i've sort of dipped my toe in it but yeah there's a lot that i need to learn about there yeah there's more there's more you know all around it yeah i think you know and you're in your you have such a beautiful voice and i love your meditations that you put out and when you're reading your book i love that you do that no thank you very much thank you yeah the guided

meditations i really enjoyed doing them like i've done a given a few workshops and talks and people seem to come like have a lot of good feedback about the meditations in particular yeah thanks but yeah hopefully i can expand them into sort of longer ones and i really like the idea of sort of like a guided journey you know that really works for me at least yeah for sure i you know when i was first moving into this this world this new dimension that i'm in i really had to be guided i mean because i could not turn it off for myself yeah yeah yeah no i still use them i still use other people's like i'll listen a lot to a medium here called gordon smith he's got a lot of good guided meditations yeah claire

broad as well she's got a few on youtube yeah it's it is such a helpful tool you know to sort of cut out the the rest of the noise, you know, guided meditations, they definitely make it so much easier to, if you're, especially if you're starting with, you know, to learn about meditation. Yeah. Well, I'm so glad that we've connected so that we can have these kinds of

conversations and you definitely become someone who I'm fond of and, and I love our friendship. So. You too. Absolutely. No, thank you. Yeah. I really appreciate you and and I love our friendship so you do absolutely no thank you yeah I really appreciate you and thank you for the kind words about the books and and I'll definitely continue to send you more bits and pieces of what I'm writing at the moment because I really value your opinion on them especially yeah well thank you very much you've helped me as well and tell everybody where they could find your beautiful voice yes that's a very very limited uh maybe i should say exclusive

all right well we want more we want more yeah i'm imagining youtube channel and same on tiktok letting glow the book on youtube probably on tiktok as well otherwise i'm phil webster with two l's and philwebster.com and then philwebster on instagram that pretty much covers it and then the books are available in all the usual book places barnes and noble amazon of course and yeah anywhere that you can think of yeah awesome well when you're ready to do the new orleans tour let me know and i'll meet you no i'd love to have you been to london before no i would love to though it's definitely on my list and i would love to meet gavin so yeah i would love to

eventually you know for sure thanks so much phil have a good night you too all right take care all right bye thanks for listening to sense of soul podcast and thanks to our special guests for joining me if you want more of sense of soul check out my website at www.mysenseofsoul.com where you can work with me one-on-one or help support sense of soul podcast by donating to my coffee fund thanks for listening