Sense of Soul - Healing and Awakening

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

Today on Sense of Soul we have Marcela Onyx, she is an international best-selling author, sexologist, medical intuitive, and skilled helper, she’s a qualified professional practitioner in the likes of cognitive behavioural therapy. She also has counseling, mindfulness, & Neuro-Linguistic Programming skills too. She is a spiritual medium, artist, Holistic Therapist, and teacher, who has a natural talent for sharing her knowledge and wisdom in powerful and captivating ways. Guided by love, integrity, compassion, growth and service, Marcela helps ambitious individuals heal from emotional pain, toxic relationships, and traumas; understand life's lessons, and unlock their inner power & abundance so they can thrive in relationships, foster self-empowerment, and become their own gurus. She is the host of the OM Wonder Wellness Podcast. In her podcast you can find talks about, evidence-based practices, transformative stories, and practical strategies that come together to empower your well-being. Whether you’re looking to elevate your physical and mental health or dive deep into your spiritual growth. Visit www.marcelaonyx.com Check out Sense of Soul’s affiliate at www.senseofsoulpodcast.com 

Hello, my soul-seeking friends. It's Shanna. Thank you so much for listening to Sense of Soul podcast. Enlightening conversations with like-minded souls from around the world, sharing their journey of finding their light within, turning pain into purpose, and awakening to their true sense of soul. If you like what you hear, show me some love and rate, like, and subscribe. And consider becoming a Sense of Soul Patreon member, where you will get ad-free episodes, monthly circles, and much more. Now go grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Today on Sense of Soul, I have with me Marcella Onyx. She's an international best-selling author, a sexologist, a medical intuitive, a professional practitioner in the likes of cognitive behavioral

therapy. She also has mindfulness and NLP skills too. She's a spiritual medium, an artist, and a holistic therapist and teacher who has a natural talent for sharing her knowledge and wisdom in powerful and captivating ways. She's also the host of the OM Wonder Wellness Podcast, and she's joining us today to share her spiritual journey. So please welcome Marcella. Hello, hello, hello. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you as well. How long have you been doing your podcast? Almost five years.

Oh, wow. I just established that. Tell me about your podcast. Yeah, my podcast is slightly different because I need variety. I am one person that you probably haven't seen from my profile. I cannot just do one thing so it's about bringing people to a place where they're not really talking about their business we're talking more about the struggles the funny things so when I'm seeing things are getting a bit too heavy I just come with like any nonsense question like so tell us when was the

last time you had an orgasm okay there you go and the person reacts just like you did like yeah i'm gonna you know you know no matter what happens with us we have the choice to stay within that pain to hold into that energy or to bring a little bit of laughter to our day until things are easy within ourselves and we find a peace. I like that. And I like also that that brings out vulnerability. And I'm doing a similar version in Portuguese. So the Portuguese version, I just bring my own natural self because it means I can sing, I can make jokes and people will understand because we're talking the same language.

We come from the same country. So, yeah. So is that where you are right now where where do you live i i live in uk but originally i am from brazil oh okay nice well it's so great i'm so glad to have you and i can't wait to hear about your story so why don't we just move in tell me about who you are and how you got to where you are tell me about who you are and how you got to where you are tell me about who you are and how you got to where you are that's the most important thing we all have a story behind our journey oh I have so many struggles where where to start now I have been through a lot in life and I like to say that uh as a child I have been born and I probably already have been born with a sense of not belonging, you know, anywhere.

Because my mom didn't have any mental or physical condition, you know, to bring me to the world, to feel that she could be the mother. And I have been raised by my godmother, the term to be, you know, the mother that raises me. So I don't really know my birth mom. Because of that, I bring a whole issue of belonging, identity, things like that. And I only knew my story when I was 21, or I'd say parts of the story, my mom was comfortable to tell me. Because I feel, you know, within her heart, she always was scared that maybe my mom could find me or whatever but when I moved to UK I went to visit um a friend of my my husband at the time that uh he predicted our wedding he mentioned lots of things that would happen even after the wedding and all of that came true I know and he knew at point, I have not developed my spirituality at all. I was very

frightened, skeptical. So he knew. My husband already advised him, please don't talk to her about spirituality. And we had a lovely tea. And then, you know, he got me to a point where he said, oh, and how is your mom doing? And I said, oh, mom's very well. well you know she's doing well in Brazil and he said right I'm not talking about your mum that raised you and I was like oh so I don't know and he said so you don't know your mum's in a spirit and I was like right no I never had any contact with her and then he started describing how sorry she was that she couldn't, you know, be there for me and be the mother that I deserved. And, you know, funny enough, all I was feeling was like, oh, my mom. Okay. Yeah. If all she wants is that my forgiveness.

Yeah, of course I have forgiven her, you know know, and I was thinking, how that is possible, you know, my mom's there talking to him, and, you know, I don't know her, so it was actually one day when I was talking with one of my cousins, and by that time, there was probably like four years that we have lost our granddad, and I was very, very close to him, and my cousin was saying well you know what I actually quite often dream with granddad and I was like oh okay yeah nice he comes to talk to you and then on that night I knew it was bedtime and I was literally talking really loud really mad in my room and I said right granddad you always said I was your favorite how dare you come to her nothing yes yeah exactly you know and on that night he came to me and it was like a very very very real experience I could feel him I could see him I could feel his hug that was like wow wow, amazing. And I remember my husband, you know, I was crying.

He said, are you okay? I said, yeah, please just leave me. I just want to hold into whatever I am feeling. And that's how I started my development. I wanted more from that sensation. So from there, I tried to do past life regression. And guess what? He tried three scripts.

Nothing worked until I actually have seen my grandfather so I saw him it's like he was giving me the hand so I felt like okay so he's giving me reassurance that it's okay I do this and then funny enough years down the line when I start learning Reiki as I would be working with people and touch people I could see their past life so I managed to actually re-encounter people that have been my daughter in another life i know my kids uh we are together for the second life and have been so rewarding like the whole journey as as a healer in itself until one day i couldn't heal my own husband and he had a heart attack so it's like for 45 minutes I was

there praying um you know and I was we had basically three three ambulances we had a helicopter nothing worked I called my whole spiritual team you know and at some point I thought about I'm being so selfish because I know I came into his life after he had lost his first wife for cancer and she was seven months in a hospital and I know we had conversations about death and he said to me that he never ever would wish to anyone you know to be within this type of end of life so therefore I'm being really selfish here God knows better than me apparently so I need to let it go but it was like the hell that's where my life had started and go all the way you know down and to the point that it took me a few years before i recognized that i actually

was searching him even on the death you know which is not nice and i learned recently that when we do that we actually allow other doors to be open to let's say spirits that are not really in the same vibration that you are and then as i I learned that, I was thinking, oh my goodness, now I understand why sometimes people really struggle to come out from a depression, from anxiety, because they're not dealing only with their own energy. And there was a lot of work that had to do within the energy, within myself. And I feel now I am in a better place where I am in a relationship now for two years you know my partner is amazing and funny enough he also have lost everyone in his family so he could understand my grief he could you know show them empathy and compassion

when he used to would see me crying from my beloved one but yeah we have two boys from his first marriage and my boys was one and a half and three and a half when I came into his life so story kind of repeating itself yeah I was raised by someone else that showed me unconditional love and that same unconditional love that I have learned as let's say the foundation part of my values I was able to give to two little angels and now they are you know the age of 17 and 19. So sorry for your loss I believe you know because you have seen your past lives and you also studied Reiki which I I do both as well. Do you believe that, you know, we signed up for that? You know, come into your life in a divine time to help you along your journey.

And I'm sure you did his too. And then that was the end of the contract in this life. And it was exactly like this because through our life, we have developed our spirituality together. So there is a point in our life that we both have seen a therapist for past life. So I went first. And within that session, I have seen lots of things that was relatable to the current life where we was. And even people that he knew from this life.

So when I arrive at home and I'm saying, right, you know that in this other life, on the day of our marriage, he had been killed for this person, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He said, wait. He closed his eyes and he could describe exactly what I have seen. The person, how he was in the other life, which is someone very close to him. And this person, he could describe the clothes the person was wearing the personality how he would look like color of the eyes and the hair i was like whoa this is amazing this is like a huge confirmation and then there was another time of our life too which again the past life regression has helped a lot and that's when I realized that

he died first of their life and he was an amazing um author he just was writing books and writing writing writing he didn't have time for the family and he was repeating the same thing there was times that he had problem with his work and he was working 32 hours shift to fix you know big problems that would affect um let's say people that had to use their cards within the bank and things like that because he worked for a bank at that time. And when I told him everything I had asked him and I showed him that he was repeating the pattern, he took a decision.

Let's move abroad. I'm going to take six months, you know you know yeah but there's six months they turn into 18 you can never look at for a job and then someone have broken to our house we start living with anxiety you know it was awful so that's what I was saying to you pick a story I have so many stories but that's how you ended up to UK then? That's when we moved back to the UK. Okay, that's when you moved back to UK. Okay.

We were living by the sea, an amazing house. We had everything, like amazing life. The sea was just there. Kids were living in so much freedom. So my husband, I never have seen him so happy. He loved to learn everything that was related to my country. learned how to play guitar to sing the songs you know he would just and just get his bike and just you know go and buy fresh bread every day and and fish so yeah it was amazing you know the time that we left and he said you know what i never have regrets even though things didn't work for us it was the best decision i actually have made because it was the

part of my life that i owe that to you because it was the part of my life that actually felt most alive so yeah so looking back would you do again oh Oh my God, I have learned so much. Imagine, I have shipped everything. Like the last generation of fridge, freezer, cooker. Think on everything that, you know, life can give to you that you wouldn't be able to buy in another country. It took three months to arrive. When I arrived, I couldn't even remember

what I had in all of those boxes. They didn't mean anything to me whatsoever. When I arrived, I couldn't even remember what I had in all of those boxes. They didn't mean anything to me whatsoever. And I have learned in life, all we need is be at peace with ourselves, with the ones that we love. We don't need nothing else. And I needed to hear that today because today my goal is to declutter some stuff around here that's taking up space and energy that's absolutely not necessary. Because they're just things. And I understand that. I say this often because I'm in the room and I have in this room, I have lots of stuff for my dad.

My dad kept everything. And so then when he passed, I felt like maybe I'm supposed to keep these things too. But like we're talking like he never looked at the things, you know, and I'm not looking at the things. It doesn't take from the memories. Those are more real than these things yes absolutely that's a lesson I also learned when my husband passed away it took me a few months until I actually had the courage to go through his things because every little thing had a memory so I was like really devastated like I was need to let it go that part of our past you know um so it was very difficult like really really draining and I stayed in bed for three days

so draining it was for me my son had to to help me out and put the things away but yeah it's like you you're packing someone's life if that makes sense everything that the person have represented is just things i have my dad's truck in my driveway still and he died eight years ago oh eight years wow definitely it's it's not a very healthy attachment either because it's like i don't want to get rid of them in some way you know what i mean it's still something that I'm processing it's you know and it's actually something that I didn't even realize until you know years later where things get dusty right and you're not you're not using them and so they just get dusty and they get old and they're not taken care of anymore because it's not them no it will have a little bit of

you know the memory sometimes there's sense a little bit of this males you left you know but it's it's not them but when you touch something you know I think especially for people when they start losing their memory they touch something they see an image it brings back those memories which is lovely it's so true so creating space because i feel like when you are able to see the synchronicities connect with your dreams have the experiences that you've had you need that space to do it because when you have too much clusterfuck is what i call it in your brain it's kind of the same whether we're talking the physical cluster or the cluster in your mind and it takes up the space and the opportunity for you to be present no i totally agree i have applied since we came back from reserve actually have applied to feng shui you know in my own home so everything's clear clean and tidy

you know I'm inspired I'm inspired yeah it's important and I think that you can always tell for myself I can always tell like if something's going on in my life and things are a little out of whack you'll be able to see it in my house. Yeah. And don't look in my closet and don't look in that junk drawer. Cause I put all my, all my mess. You hide your mess. You know, we hide our mess. And so I think that, well, this is just, there's so much good in all of this for me today. Cause I'm going to pull all my mess out that closet today. But when people share and their story, there's a connection. And that was one thing that I noticed that's important to you to teach to people in researching you, because I stalked you a little bit this morning. But connection, connection with family,

with nature, with each other i think this is something that the world has been missing a lot and perhaps they haven't even realized because they're so busy it's you trying to search their purpose it's you trying to understand their worthiness that they cannot look within, feel, you know, with their soul. And this is what I like to say that I like to help people for they be their own guru. Because I know how it is. You pay for so many different mentors trying to search for an answer. Then you start realizing, OK, but this person is just copying this other person's style they're not really being themselves the content is really very similar so where is the

authenticity and the originality you know in all of these and you know i love the way you're saying about hide the things in the closet and how many people could relate to this conversation because it is all about that okay yes don't open that door no one likes to open that door and imagine you can open that door and how many other things can come out from all of that you know because there are things that you don't want to see yourself that's exactly where you're hiding it in there somewhere yeah you know, today's going to be a very therapeutic day for me. I can already tell. Yes. Cause I'm definitely, cause that's exactly what it is. And I think that, you know, there's that avoidance, avoidance of wanting to experience again, that pain of, of loss or the

pain of, or whatever you're hiding in that closet. There could be so many things. And I'm, I've all, I always was, I'm better now. I was really good at avoiding, avoiding conflict, avoiding anything that stressed me out.

I wanted to just stay busy. And in the busy, I didn't have time to worry about any of it. It's, it's a coping mechanism, right? It is. mechanism right it is yep it is it's like you're not doing nothing wrong you're just trying to keep your mind busy and life is going to give you opportunities for you go back to that drawer that wardrobe that whole garage like you did have four kids. I didn't have tons of opportunity to go back to the drawer. More stuff in there. But no, really it's true. And I tell you, you also mentioned something

about loving yourself and kind of like reconnecting with that part of you. And that was the hugest thing for me. Hugest. That was when I talk about awakening, it was when I finally listened to how horrible I talked to myself. And I would never talk to anybody that way. But yet here I was telling myself these things. And it wasn't until I had the space, that stillness to listen. Hey guys, sorry for the interruption, but have you ever dreamed of making a bigger difference and learning to help others heal and live their best lives? Well, this is your chance to become a certified atomic healing method medical intuitive with Amy Lee McCree, world-renowned medical intuitive with 24 years of experience,

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and align with your life's purpose your work can feel meaningful and challenging in the best way possible. The doors close on October 23rd. Don't miss this opportunity. Find the link to register in the show notes. Now back to our amazing guest. you know tell me about that because you started off saying you know you didn't feel like you fit in or how did you find that you know did you have a moment like i did where i heard myself and witnessed my thoughts i think we all go and this is all part of the awakening. You know, when we are put in situations that, you know, I call that part of the trauma world that we unfortunately put ourselves into or life introduced to us. Yeah.

So it's stay and deny, yes. It's a choice that we all have. And I have made that choice too, until I realized it was not suiting me anymore. And this is what I believe is really part of the healing process, because I am not a believer that just work with affirmations, rewriting your story, and just work with all the positivity can actually bring a long-lasting changing, okay? And that's me with my experience and with my clients. So the way I work nowadays is, I think because I have developed so much, my spiritual side and all my sensitivity and all of the skills I have, you know, when you're asking me, well,

is there any specific methodology that you work with? And I was thinking, well, the answer is connection. I am making myself present and fully present. And when I do that, yeah, and it's the same process when we do that to ourselves so think on everything I'm going to share now I'm making myself present to my client I'm there feeling them I'm feeling to the words that they are telling me I'm feeling to their body and as I do that I'm truly connected even with what is hidden on the unconscious mind. And sometimes I can even see things.

And then I take them through the session to a place where they also can meet their perpetrator. And they can see things that I probably already have seen. But it's for them to see. It's their story. It's them that need to be able to have access to the answers they're searching for so this is why i love to to just work the way that i do because within our path if all that people would do for us is just be the therapist the counselling that's just there listening to you

writing down and prescribing you something for you have and just giving you a specific label, right? Today, okay, I'm going to tell you, you're going through depression. You also feel anxiety and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. How you expect the patient is going to leave the session with? So I'm working helping them to find the answers so for example yesterday i had someone that asked it oh i know you have a crystal bed can i come around and i know this person for six years and i said can i just come over and i just thought oh you know i have done

this operation here on my throat and um um we have conversations about sex too because she knows i am sexologist and you know she said i'm not feeling pleasure anymore sometimes i don't know how to deal with my husband and he's full on and blah blah blah and then she had her session and now i said you know what i know i don't need to give you any healing because i know you will receive plenty healing as you were there when she came out of the the healing session i said well can i just touch you now so i touched her and then i just focused and send a heal and feeling what was happening there so i had access to the words basically shame uh so it was the shame yeah so it was the shame the embarrassment and not feeling capable to be the mother so I said to her right can I just share with you what just happened so I shared and I said right so do you understand now that the issue that you had within your throat, all the surgeries that you had, you also had to remove your womb, yeah?

It all related to your past and the fact that you felt shame when certain things had happened to your daughter and you didn't believe her. You haven't stood up for her, but you're also feeling lost within yourself at that time. So you feel incapable to be the mother that she needed you to be. And now she's older. She's having lots of issues with toxic relationships and going through, well, she's a single mother now for the second time so it's like somehow the damage that has been caused in her childhood which you as an adult both of you as an adult was seeing that oh we're just getting to conflict she's getting too toxic and i'm not knowing what to do i'm just gonna give the distance so

in that time you gave the distance all of those emotions that has not been dealt with has been transmuted into a disease and I have said a few other things you said Marcella thank you so much you helped me a lot to understand now certain things in my life and a message heard this morning saying how are you feeling she said oh, oh my goodness, thank you so much. It has been lifting, you know, huge weight from my shoulder. I already had a conversation with my daughter and you guess what, it went up so well because I said, have an open and honest, open heart conversation with her, you know, and she did that already. And then she said to me, you know with uh the uncomfort that I was feeling after the surgery that pain has gone and I'm feeling so good about and I was like wow and this is all of

less than 24 hours and she said yeah and I said well that's amazing I'm like so so happy for you that the future is looking a little bit more light and bright for both of you you know what you provided her space to look inside that closet we talked about yeah it is it is but I had to look inside of my own closet I had to look inside of my own closet to be in a position where I am today you know as part of a I'm also have trainer to be a medical intuitive as part of the training I had to basically deal with all of my own traumas revisit all of them write all of them down you know and make peace so it's amazing how I realized that all of my traumas actually the big ones was connected to the fact that I never felt love

from my mom I felt that she kind of rejected me I never knew how to show up because always they tried to be myself was like oh you know you're rude you know you're arrogant and all because I was standing up for myself I was being myself so nowadays I really don't care I really want people to feel that they can be into their full honest power because if that power comes from a place of love they're not going to do anything wrong at all and the sovereignty that you feel you know when you're able to open that closet find the shame find all of the you, find all of the, you know, connections, all of these emotions that are connected to what's been living and living out in your life that you've been unconscious to, you know, you mentioned shame in that woman, you know, that's such a big one for women. And well, there's so much for women, but not only are we individually opening the closet, but collectively

the divine feminine is coming forth and, you know, we're all finding our voice through this, you know, feminine energy that seems to be unleashed in some way. And you mentioned godmother, that your godmother originally um she was your godmother and then turned mother so did you have a catholic or religious background i would see the church going to the church on sundays as an opportunity to give a kiss after the mass that was the only opportunity i could see people because mom was always a bit controlling I think she actually as I mentioned before she was panicked that someone else could find us or something like that so even if I go out and play with my friends I always have certain times to do

but she have not only introduced me to the cath one, but also a few other religions from Brazil that I still don't understand them. I still would probably not even pass close to. Yeah, it is true. But she said to me, I have done my job. I have introduced you to a little bit of everything. Now it's for you to take the decision what do you like to follow and as an adult i don't follow anything i don't follow anyone because i have

learned that if we are basically somehow a mirror of god's energy yeah then it means whatever we go, as long as we are coming from that place of peace within ourselves, with that love within us, God is within us. And anyone would be able to feel the energy that is radiating from you, if that makes sense. It does make sense. Just recently, I was thinking to myself, I wanted to be just like the martyr. I mean, I worshipped the martyr. I thought that's, I admired it. I couldn't wait to serve because that's all I saw in my life was the women doing that. So it's taken me a long time to break those patterns. And not only did I see it, it's in my DNA to be serving in that way. I personally, I would use the word care instead of serve. Oh, yes.

No, I'm not serving. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. That was the old version of me that was insane i'm glad you found yourself you're like um i would use care i love you you're so funny that was so good i can you would be so fun to hang out with oh my gosh i need to invite you to my own podcast now so we can carry on having fun too. We totally should. And another thing I saw that we had in common that I wanted to talk about was art.

Because if you look at my website, I actually have a modality that kind of just came on its own through Reiki. But I learned that I was seeing people's sacred spaces. But I only saw this sacred space with this person. After like years, I noticed, and they would tell me to take me back to that tree. I want to talk to my dad again. And I was like, Oh, yeah, that's right. We've gotten there several times times and you're the only person I go there with so I started to create the art of what I saw and then that was really cool because they were like yes I saw the same thing and or some people can't see and so it gave a visual so that's what I do and I saw that you have a very amazing story around art that I wanted you to share.

OK, well, the beginning is very embarrassing, by the way. Oh, is it? I don't know that part. OK, I went once to Tony Stockwell, which is very well known in the UK. So I went to one of his workshops many years ago and we we have done a soul reading the lady has worked with me we're still best friends and and I love it because it was exactly because of the connection and things that she said to me and and how she was so intense in going and connecting with my soul that was beautiful you know so she said to me that she have seen that I was an artist in the life that have lived in Spain yeah it's like oh how interesting but you know I can't draw anything

so I was so excited after what she said that I just bought you know a couple of brushes and stuff and I tried to do a butterfly and I showed to my husband and my son and they was laughing at me it was like right that doesn't even look like a butterfly but if you believe this one will believe you oh that's okay I'm not ready to connect with that part of my soul that bring the artistic side yet and then one day I went to an art workshop and I was not sure what to expect and she said well you can choose everything that you like and blah blah blah so I felt like a child okay start picking up everything exploring so I did something and then she said right just to let you know whatever you just have done you have designed it basically your soul and i was like wow that is

so beautiful because it was um something like very bluish and golden with a beautiful uh heart in between i had so many layers so i had to give that to someone else read for me and she said well this represents all the layers of your heart and you actually choose the people that you allow to step inside of your heart and say yeah that's me you know so overprotective and then we did four exercises the second one was we had to paint something and then we had to part an app we have been given numbers so we haven't even no clue who we was painting to so I painted and I said i have to sit down with this late and i said right i hope you understand what i'm gonna say but i think i got your auntie here this is your auntie and like the painting was totally naive very childish style yeah so everything that i said about her auntie and everything that was touching within the paint because this is how i do i touch

the things and then i i can feel what is there she took everything and then the same happened with the other two exercises and i was like wow that's really amazing and then i have done a painting yeah and i thought this is rubbish and i left on the floor here my office and once all of these start to you know grow I have a friend she's an artist in Sweden I said Marina can I show you some stuff so I showed her and I showed the first page and I said oh that's really good you know that could be in a gallery I was like oh gallery oh if it's really good let me post here my portfolio yeah nice like are you being nice like my husband and my child no but that time has improved a little bit yeah and the problem is I was working basically within very slow and I don't work like that so when I'm working spiritually talking I

work in a very very fast speed energy I have no idea what I'm gonna do at all and I sure don't have any idea when I finish so if I take some time if I'm doing for someone I take some time putting all my paintings away cleaning my hands and I look to the painting and then I start feeling into it and then I tell a whole story how that painting is fully connected with the person and it's just unbelievable and then I realized I started painting people that I never have seen before, and I actually got to meet them in real life. You know, it was like embarrassing.

I remember once when I went to Brazil, I painted this guy, and I just was told, you're going to meet this person when you go to Brazil. So I was meeting people, I was like, do you know this person? Do you know this person? And it was like that, nothing. So going to the place where john of god used to work which the place is she runs and the

spiritual energy there is so beautiful any case i was there and then i realized that for the first time because i said to the spirit world i really was interested to go there but i don't know how to go i could take basically an airplane to two different airports and get a taxi and buzzers, like too complicated. If I meet someone, they already have been there, then it's fine. And then I go to one of my tutors workshop,

his translator, she's Italian, yeah? And then we start talking and I thought, won't you recommend any place that actually there is a presence of spirit you know because there's lots of places that it's literally just bullshit she said well the only place i know is where is the casa jabadiana um where john of god used to to work and i was like okay at least four times I heard about this place these years. So there is something there for me.

And then I said, well, I'm going to Brazil in December. She said, oh, me too. I'm going to be there on the days X and Z. I was like, that's the only two days that I have available. So everything started to unfold. As I am there sitting for what they call the workshop, where they teach you what you can expect and I looked at the wall I was like oh my god I get my phone and I looked at my phone I looked

at the picture and I was like oh my god that first picture that I painted that I left on the floor I gave nothing for that was basically the energy the whole energy was connected with Dr Augustus which is one of the entities that works within the place and i said chiara who's him oh he's dr augusto he works with me and i was like this is why we had connected then he wanted me to come here and this is why i have on that buying the crystal bed is what i'm saying i don't need to work with anyone that goes on the crystal bed because i know they're already there working with them you know and it has been like an amazing experience that you know within the painting and recently we had uh Florencio which is a spiritual artist from Brazil so I was

following him he was here from the 1st until the 10th of March I went to some of his exhibitions too. And it was amazing to see how he works. And he brings spirits like Munir, Longon, all the big names. He has done around 35,000 paintings. All of them are different from each other. Wow. So watching him working and feeling, you know, the energy within the room, it was like an unbelievable experience. And this is why I wanted to follow him as many days as possible. I felt that, you know, for myself, I have on my mind three paintings.

One is extremely dear, special to me. I still don't know how, but that painting is very special. And I don't know where all of this is going to take me because yes someone look into my profile I have all of those skills all of those qualifications and guess what I have learned it many times people telling me you know you can't do all of these you need to focus on one thing you need to have one niche you have to you have to and i was like we're too multi-dimensional for for one thing yeah and as i said to you you know about my talk show i need variety if i don't have variety it doesn't i don't exist at all you know oh i have variety i let's see last week i had on aliens i had on yeah I go all over as well but you know

my art has been very spiritual and has led me throughout so much of my journey especially once I I noticed it and I started I almost started looking for you know like I use it as a tool almost sometimes to guide me. Yeah. And you just go in. You go in when you're doing it. Yeah. It's like for me, when you say you go in, I really need to feel drawn to. So sometimes I wake up and I don't really care.

But there is other days I pass by my studio and I'm still my PJ. And when I'm seeing me all dirty because I paint with with my hands this is why I do it very quickly and I paint usually is four to five maximum then I feel the energy is withdrawing and that's it my day's done done that's all I've done yeah this is why I have this is why I have cluster all over my house because I'm doing stuff like that all day too for me and I can tell you are too very clairvoyant so everything that I'm experiencing is very visual for me whether it's in real time or in my meditations or dreams I'm just very visual it's very different for me if I'm working as a medium then uh it depends uh I will see sometimes I hear but I'm very much you know sensing into things

you said that you feel your clients yeah yeah yeah yeah so this is my main one is the sensitivity for sure and yes um the vision itself it will come but sometimes they don't want to show themselves you know and for me i'm just happy to feel into it and i feel this is part of a you know as we all know when we're young we have the capacity to be able to see spirits and, you know, myself, oh gosh, I would just hide and pray and pray and pray until I fall asleep. Me too. I used to sleep with my covers over my head. I couldn't breathe and I'd be sweating all night long pleading in the blood of Jesus. Yes, you see. And then like nowadays, I wish I could see more. But at the same time, it's like like if I'm not seeing more it's because they probably know I can't cope with it yet you know

yeah and the part of me that also has the skills to be an author I started writing a book uh when my husband was still alive and he had read the book he actually I still have his email give me feedback and but that book was never published so yeah I still has 30,000 words and I never have touched it since so it is very much about awakening you know fun enough that's where we started the conversation but it's there as a future project but what I realized is the day that he passed I actually was having a meeting for sort my website and all of that and I felt really guilty because he also was helping me to build the website and it was like if I didn't have that meeting I could have spent one extra hour with him I didn't know that was his final hours and all of those things that goes with your head you know so it took me a long time

to actually revisit this part of me and what i have noticed is i have paid a lot of money for people write articles for me and i was like gosh this is so rubbish i can publish this no one is gonna enjoy this so i haven't got now i'm sure I can do something better. So I start writing and I'm like, okay, I actually quite like this. So I have put together, as we know, when you think about business, you need to have a lead magnet. Yeah. And I was like, okay, I'm going to write something to live as a lead magnet. And guess what? That was never, ever seen by people. Yeah. It had 75 pages. It's still the same title of my actual book.

Yeah. But it had 75 pages, loads of images, and not really talking about vulnerability, showing my vulnerable side. And the book is supposed to have vulnerability on it. And then something has happened with a very toxic relationship my family had to go through and I was like no I had enough I had enough to hide I had enough to try to be good you know to people that actually doesn't deserve my respect and I just need to move on because things are just getting too toxic and you know what i don't care i'm just gonna share now the real truth and this is what i did so i have basically scrapped all of that and i started

writing everything from scratch and now i'm going to launch the second edition in new york yeah on the 19th of april the book is called awaken to embrace vulnerability and sexuality and it has i think 260 pages now wow and that and it didn't take you very long no be yourself yes this is like okay and and then i realized that my style to write I love to write in a way that I'm not really writing for specifically sex or identity I'm writing a way that people can connect with it and I love to give them lots of food for thought so in the end the book itself it turns to be the person on a workbook where they can write their own story answer all of those questions and i was like okay that's amazing that's well done and i have many more coming

which i i saw you know i interviewed some amazing people so one of the books i have uh it's with ken ronda that have written you know the forward for the book the other one is with James Redfield from Celestine Prophecy which oh my god his material is amazing too so I have a few others that is still going to come up and be published I have this one that was released literally just before my birthday last week that is from Queens and business can break and in every single book i share a different aspect of myself so this is yeah this this specifically one for women it was about me uh sharing my experience within business and resilience and things that has happened you know through my journey and how i still can write things in a way that i'm showing availability i'm inspiring people you know and uh there is another one that i have written that's

coming up within my book as a bonus chapter and that one is about healing visibility so which is really important especially for someone like me that always wanted to hide and if you look at my social media nowadays you shouldn't see many images or videos yeah from me and in my book I share basically everything that can happen if you decide to be visible if you decide to be invisible and I like to say that we need to choose we have the capacity to choose that today i want to be visible tomorrow i just want to have a break because i have other things i want to prioritize in my life and as long as i am visible for myself i'm keeping the things in balance because i i find fascinating this whole world of social media and people just following and following and following and spending so much time watching videos

that sometimes the brain are not even connecting with that content anymore. Avoidance again. Yeah, exactly. So it's like, okay, if I would show up, I wouldn't have a good reason for that. And this is why I'm gonna have my talk shows, which is not gonna be just one, but two, you know, one in each language. And that's the way that I found that people can connect with me. Tell everybody where they can find you, where they can find your books. I love, love that you said that your books are like a different aspect of yourself that's that's very unique I love that yeah so I am available my website which is marcelonix.com and is the same name that everyone can find on social medias and everybody can find everything on my website there is so much resources there and information maybe people

want to find themselves more with it or a healing session or just a one-to-one with me yeah more personal they're gonna leave the session with much more than they actually believe that they needed because what you believe that you need is not necessarily what's available in the shop for you maybe there is other lessons that you need to learn first in order that you feel that you can progress and give it your next step to achieve with more confidence what you're aiming for if that makes sense oh it does there's lots of stuff in your closet needs to be cleared out first marcella you're so pleasant. Thank you so much for having me. Your energy is also very bubbly.

It's amazing. And do feel free to reach out for We Carry On Connecting. Have a good one. Thank you so much for coming on. You too, Shelly. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Bye-bye. Thanks for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast. And thanks to our special guests for joining me. If you want more of Sense of Soul Podcast. And thanks to our special guests for joining me. If you want more of Sense of Soul, check out my website at www.mysenseofsoul.com where you can work with me one-on-one or help support Sense of Soul Podcast by donating to my coffee fund. Thanks for listening.