Sense of Soul - Intuitive Parenting

Starting point is 00:00:00 We are excited to announce that we have created a Sense of Soul Patreon page to help support our podcast. You will get extended versions and early access to Sense of Soul podcast episodes. We will be launching exclusive short mini-series. Right now, you can listen to My Ancestry Journey called Untangled Roots. This mini-series in its entirety right now on Sense of Soul Patreon. Mandy is also releasing her new miniseries, The Story of Her Two Near-Death Experiences. You won't want to miss that. Workshops each month, live readings, behind the scenes bloopers

Starting point is 00:00:39 that I'll only share on Patreon. You'll be able to join our Sense of Soul sacred circles, and depending on what membership level, you will be getting some merch and many other things. Hop on Sense of Soul Patreon and sign up to help support Sense of Soul podcast. Welcome to the Sense of Soul podcast. We are your hosts, Shanna and Mandy. Grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Sense of Soul has Christine Ramos here with us today. She is a registered nurse, a doula, a childbirth educator, a lactation consultant, and the author of A Journey into Being, Knowing and Nurturing Our Children as spirit. We are so excited to have

Starting point is 00:01:26 you on. I was reading your book and a lot of the things that you were talking about, Shanna has always brought to my attention. So I know she's going to love it too. Wow. Yeah. Super cool. So thank you for reaching out to us. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here, really. I don't know if you know, but this book came out quite a while ago in 2006. And I had to go back to work. And I'm the only one who carried the health insurance for our family. So in going back to work, I basically created the separation from the book and its contents and even my spirituality. And it just culminated in 2011 when I had a car accident and I became disabled. And it brought me right around back to republishing the book,

Starting point is 00:02:16 re-editing it, updating it and all of that. And so I'm excited to bring it out into the world again. It reached the people that I think it needed to reach back then. And I think people need to hear it once again. I think it's a very important thing. There's not a lot of literature out there about children and their spirituality and how it relates to pregnancy, especially even in the preconception point of our lives. And there's a lot you can do to communicate, to reach out, to start that bonding even then.

Starting point is 00:02:56 And you could have visitations, you know, before you're even pregnant, during the pregnancy. It's a really, really beautiful time of life. Yeah, you know, you said something in the beginning of your book how we do have some books and shanna always talks about how the ones that she seemed to be picking up were all written by men and she was like why are you reading books and listening to men telling me how to parent and not women true. I really remember being a young mom for the first time and everyone telling me what I should do with my child, you know, whether it was on television, Dr. Brown, your parents, your friends, your grandparents, but no one says to you, what do you feel like your child may need?

Starting point is 00:03:48 What do you feel? Because you are the mama and you have the most wisdom for this baby, your intuition. Absolutely. You said that perfectly. You know, that was the whole point of my book or the one of the the major points is to empower that bond to bring it back to the families to bring it back to mother and child father and child significant other and child it's such a miraculous thing that the field of medicine and I don't I don't know if this is intentional, but a lot of times in trying to tell you the science of parenting or pregnancy and childbirth, in that process, there's these little elements that are taken away from you because you kind of surrender your own power to this medical professional. You know, I always say, read up on

Starting point is 00:04:46 the science of pregnancy and childbirth and child rearing, read up on it, but then fall back on the art of your own soul, knowing what's right and what's good, what's supposed to be for you and your child. You know, listening to these doctors and being curious and asking questions. So you know what to expect during your pregnancy from their point of view, but then also taking your own control and curiosity and searching elsewhere, whether it be in books, but most importantly within. Yes. What you expect when you're expecting was my Bible back then, which was very helpful. But however, there's these milestones when you're pregnant, or when you have your baby, that if your child doesn't fit within those milestones,

Starting point is 00:05:38 all of a sudden, you're panicking, and you're in fight or flight. That's true. Yes, absolutely. And again, I always say, read up on it. But then, you know, like, I'll give you an example with my own son. My middle son had some challenges. And, you know, you read the books, and it's like, Oh, okay, maybe he's got ADD, he's got ADHD, all of this. And what it turned out primarily was, was he was highly sensitive and he was inundated with the textures, the sounds, the emotions. He was very highly empathic and that's what kind of overwhelmed him in the classroom. And so it wasn't an issue that he wasn't, you know, paying attention because he had a chemical imbalance or he had some type of mental or true learning disability. This had to do with him being extra sensitive to his environment.

Starting point is 00:06:37 And so guess who would know that more? It's the mother. It's the mother, it's the parents, it's the person who would tap into that if allowed, if nurtured, if that kind of bonding and intuitive nurturing is encouraged, as opposed to, oh, I know what's best for your child, your child has this, and this is the kind of a remediation we're going to do for him. No, finally, when I realized, listen, I know what's going on with my kid. And that's when I took over in the school system. And I said, listen, because of all this

Starting point is 00:07:13 external stimuli, what about having a tape recorder so he can record the lessons so that this way when he's alone in his room without all that stimulus, he can listen to this tape recording of the lesson. And they had never heard of such a thing. They're like, Oh my gosh, well, let's see if that'll work. But you know, of course it worked. So did you end up getting him a 504? Yes, I did. Okay. Because you know, I had this conversation with my youngest cause she is like that. And she says it's torture to her. She's in fourth grade. And I told her, well, sometimes when situations like that, first of all, you're not alone. Like probably every other kid in there struggling with that, but some people are going to have it, you know, more intensely

Starting point is 00:08:02 and less. And I'm talking to her and I'm telling her this, that maybe she needed those accommodations. So that way you could get help. But it doesn't define who you are. I mean, you're still exactly who you are and you're perfect in your own way. But you're more sensitive and this will only help you, you know, but there's nothing wrong with that. All I could say is that there is no expert on your child other than you. I love that you brought up that example because Shanna and I are so passionate about putting out as much knowledge and education as we can about what it means to be highly

Starting point is 00:08:40 sensitive or to be an empath, because I feel like it could really lower the teen suicide rate. I think a lot of these kids that I see that have committed suicide were extremely empathic and thought that something was wrong with them when actually they were gifted. It's a word I had never even heard of until I was in my late thirties and I never even knew what it meant. And it explained so much to just me that I'm like, the whole world needs to know. Unfortunately, the word has been getting thrown out left and right. And the definition of it is being a little bit twisted. And I think a lot of people are grasping onto it also as maybe like a coping mechanism. I'm not sure I've been seeing so much about the word

Starting point is 00:09:32 empath. So bringing true understanding to it is so important. Oh, yes, definitely agree with you, Mandy, about how the word empath is being thrown around. And like you, I didn't realize what I was going through when I was younger. I felt always very different. I found it very difficult to cope in the classroom. How could kids be mean to one another? How could they not care more about one another? And so as a matter of fact,

Starting point is 00:10:02 I dropped out of school when I was 16. I begged my mother to sign me out because I couldn't cope with how, how unfeeling things were in the classroom. And I couldn't wait to go to college and just to start my career already. I always knew I wanted to help people, educating myself about empath and highly sensitive, and then having a child myself, two of them that are very, very highly sensitive and empathic, and learning how to parent them was so important. And if I could give a recommendation in terms of reading material, and that would be Dr. Elaine Aron, Sensitive Children, the book Sensitive Children. It is fantastic and helped me tremendously. She's a psychologist, works with highly sensitive people. And this particular book that she wrote was specifically for children. And it was just life-changing for me in terms of being a parent. So I was going to ask you, and you don't have to tell me, but it was your son or it was just life changing for me in terms of being a parent. So I was going to ask you, and you don't have to tell me, but it was your son, or it was

Starting point is 00:11:09 your middle son? Is that? Yes. Because I'm just wondering, I know that there's the diagnosis of sensory integration. Have you heard that before? That one? Not too much. Not too much.

Starting point is 00:11:22 And I think it's just merely on senses, but I was just, I, you know, I didn't know, you know, autism is such a big spectrum. I know that all, you know, sensory could fall under there. So could ADHD. I mean, I'm extremely, I have a certain blanket, you know, I touch it throughout the night. I mean, I have a lot of sensory stuff. I think that on many levels, it's the night. I mean, I have a lot of sensory stuff. I think that on many levels, it's definitely genetic. I think it's another one of those things that has passed down like

Starting point is 00:11:49 through your ancestry. We have so many different learning disabilities in my family. And now I can see where they come from. I can see, you know, where that mutated through trauma. For sure. Now, on a spiritual level, on that sensory part, right? Like, I definitely see that there's a huge difference between, you know, the physical sensory and then having, you know, right, spiritual, you know, sensory. So are your children clairvoyants and they have the intuitive type of empathic abilities? I would say that my girls do. Okay. For sure. I would say maybe all of them did. I mean, Ethan being autistic, I will definitely say that he has very little empathy. Okay. Now is he sensitive? Yes. Extremely physically, but his empathy is very, very little or misconstrued because of his

Starting point is 00:12:57 communication. Yes. Yes. Yes. Like he's uncomfortable and doesn't really have words for it because I remember we went to therapy one time and it was right after my dad died and Ethan used to spend so much time with my dad he would spend like every weekend with him and so we're at the therapy place and and she was like Ethan she was like you know how do you feel about your grandpa you know passing and he was like oh it's okay and she was like okay well you know it's okay to be sad you know you know that's normal to be upset and she goes can you maybe give me a word or maybe show me you know how you feel and girl he flipped me out he laid down back in the chair and sunk down as low as he could in the chair, like real

Starting point is 00:13:45 far back. And he went like this. And he mimicked my dad, how he saw him when he was dying, like in his deathbed. Wow. Oh, wow. You just gave me chills. Girl, I lost my shit because I was like here all, all this time. I thought it didn't affect him so much, but here he was, he couldn't explain it,

Starting point is 00:14:17 but he sat there and totally showed us. Oh, it was the saddest show. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Chills. Wow. There's different types of sensitivities, like you just mentioned, Shanna, and that has to do with it. Some children have sensitivities to the physical, you know, it concentrates on the physical aspect, you know, sensitivities to certain textures, to certain materials. They can't wear socks or they can't stand wearing shoes or that sort of thing.

Starting point is 00:14:47 Or there's certain blankets that they can't use or stuff like that, or even sounds. Yeah, Kinsley has that mess of phonia. Oh my God, it's so terrible for us. Can't even swallow next to her. Okay, okay, yeah. So those are different types of sensitivities. And she actually goes through that in the book as well. I touch upon that at the end about how

Starting point is 00:15:12 to deal with highly sensitive children. You want me to bring them over? Sure. You're in Colorado, right? I'm in New York. That's where we're taking her for a birthday. But you know, it's so funny, because if you ask her, where do you want to go? That's where she says. But the reason why is because I think when she was four years old, she recalled a past life and she lived in New York. Okay. Oh, I love that. I wish you could talk to me about that. I love hearing about that. And I did love how you opened your book up with talking about surviving death because Shannon and I both watched that on Netflix and it talks about past lives. It talks about near-death experiences, which is what I've had. And I found after I had my second one,

Starting point is 00:16:02 my senses completely shifted and they were way more sensitive, but they were like smell and hearing mostly. So that's all very interesting. But the beginning of your book had me intrigued instantly. Let me just tell you why. There were two things that stood out to me. First of all, the one about how nurses have been trained not to touch the top of heads of people that have had near death experiences.

Starting point is 00:16:25 I never knew that. I love to get educated on that. Secondly, the thing that actually blew my mind that I've never thought about is that Siamese twins actually pretty much prove that we are born with souls because as you explained in the book, they share this frontal lobe and this brain, yet they have two totally different personalities. I mean, hello. Yes. It's not supposed to happen, right?

Starting point is 00:16:52 If you're sharing the frontal lobe, how is it that these two bodies had very separate personalities, likes and dislikes in some ways, even polar opposites. So yeah, it was fascinating. You know, that's what I always thought was clones. Like it did the whole DNA clone thing. Like, right. You know, I don't get that. That scares me. I'm serious because then I'm like, where's the soul come into it to something like that? your past lives and your experiences, right? So you bring that forth into this life with you. And then you have the nurture part. And the part of the reason why I wrote this book is so that it empowers parents to look at your child as that individual unique soul. There are instances where your children can be so different from each other that it warrants a different type of parenting to bring out what's best in them. I'll give you an example. My two boys couldn't be more opposite from each other. One grew up,

Starting point is 00:18:21 he's a jock, very popular, always outside of the house doing, you know, extracurricular activities. My younger one, Ethan, you were saying your son's name is Ethan, so it's mine. And he was the homebody. He was the one who played video games at home, was very withdrawn. You know, he just had a very rich inner life. I realized that I had to parent them, discipline them differently. I had to encourage them differently. And on the outside, that could look very unfair almost. With Ethan, all I needed to do in terms of discipline was talk to him sternly. Now, Brandon, my older one, he required like timeout, we're going to take this away from you. Or guess what, you can't go out for a week. It had to be that harsh, because he just that's the way he responded best. But if somebody from the outside looked in and said, Well, why is Ethan only getting a stern talking to and you gave Brandon a punishment for a week? Well, because that's all Ethan needed to correct his behavior. I think that's so important, especially as more and more children are being born who are sensitive, who are ushering in a better world, a more loving world. They don't need that kind of discipline you know harsh discipline you know me and my kids we we all did our natal birth charts the other day for all of we all did it it was like five of us

Starting point is 00:19:52 and it's so interesting because we were like oh my gosh you know this is so you and this explains a lot but I mean really you could take your due date you know and look at the natal charts and kind of get an idea of what your child might be like coming into the world yeah how do you get that information I would love to look into that well yeah you just plug in You can go to any Astro, I think Astro dash charts is one that you can go to, to know like what city and state they're going to be born in. If you have the specific date, that would be good. Of course, once you have your child, you can do the time and that breaks it right down to, you know, exactly where everything was when they were born. But, you know, you can at least get a sense of, you know, what their sign is going to be, what their moon sign, their sun sign, you know, and just the different aspects of

Starting point is 00:20:54 when your child's going to be born. And you found it accurate? You found it accurate? Oh my gosh, it was so accurate. Oh yeah. It's amazing. Yeah, absolutely. We could see how we were connecting as well you know like my youngest and oldest have the same moon sign and they do have like some

Starting point is 00:21:17 things that are similar between the two of them I always say you remind me of true. You remind me of true. And so it's probably the aspect of that, which is the moon is more of a soul or the emotional side of you. So where your son is like your personality. It's just interesting. Yeah. It was fun too, but yeah, I wish I would have been able to do all of these things when I was pregnant. I wish I would have been able to get Reiki. I love, and I have had two clients, you know, gone through their pregnancies with them. And after their babies are born, having such a strange connection, like I know you, I know that's awesome. Yes. Oh, I love that. It's amazing. Really should get permission, you know, from their soul as well, because you're not just

Starting point is 00:22:05 dealing with one soul, you know, you're literally working on two souls. Good point. And you can so sense, you know, the aura of both of them, you know, the energy that is very unique to each. And so it's really amazing. If anyone does Reiki, I would highly recommend go and find a pregnant mom at a work on so super cool. Oh, you bring up a really good point in the book. I also go over how the etheric layer of the, of the soul. Now that is the first layer that is present when conception occurs. Now that etheric layer can have imprints of previous lives

Starting point is 00:22:52 and trauma within those previous lives. So I don't know if you've heard of Dr. Ian Stevenson and his work called Where Biology and Reincarnation Intersect. Now he's a psychiatrist. He's deceased now. But Dr. Jim Tucker picked up his work. Have you heard of Dr. Jim Tucker? And he works with children who have past life memories? No, but wow, I need to know. Yeah, Dr. Jim Tucker, he's the predecessor for that. So Dr. Ian Stevenson, he took many, many, many some type of a marking of that traumatic death. So that could be a birthmark. It could be a scar. It could be a deformity. So I just wanted to say to your audience that sometimes if you do see certain markings on your child, that could be an indication of an imprint in that etheric field from a previous life. So fascinating. Tell Christine about when Sloane was born. As far as what, coming out on call?

Starting point is 00:24:21 Yeah. So she came out like in the amniotic sack okay okay yeah yeah I guess that's very uncommon but she didn't you know the my water didn't break when she was going through the birth canal and so they actually had to cut it with scissors because it's so thick yeah and I've always felt a special bond with her and she came at a very you know important time in my life where I was going through this amazing spiritual shift because I had just, you know, had my near-death experience. Yeah. Have you ever heard anything about like the meaning of that or why it's so uncommon? I do know, obviously, of it, you know, from my obstetric experience. Yeah. It's not common at all. Didn't you, Mandy, hear that it was something spiritually? Yeah, I did. I mean, just being so uncommon, you know, I had looked it up and it was pretty fascinating.

Starting point is 00:25:11 It talked a lot about her personality traits and, you know, her purpose in life and things that she might do. And it was all very intriguing and beautiful. And I wish that my doctor wasn't in such a hurry and would have let her stay in it for a while instead of just grabbing the scissors and cutting it. Were you able to see her in it? Everyone at the bottom of my feet was able to see it except me. I know.

Starting point is 00:25:35 And you know, is it true that scientifically they have no explanation for the placenta, but they have an explanation for everything else? Is that true? I've heard that the placenta, they cannot figure out where it comes from and how it's made. I think the question has been how beautifully perfect it evolved. It's really such a miraculous organ, temporary organ. Yeah. Okay. It amazes me just to know how perfect it is and how much it has evolved to protect the child. It's a mystery in and of itself, how it's so just so perfect in what it does. Yeah, I guess that's kind of what I meant. Like, yeah, mystery. It's a total mystery how it does so much. And it's like this temporary thing.

Starting point is 00:26:26 Temporary organ. It's amazing. I mean, the things it goes through just to, you know, cause it's got to fight off your immune system. I don't know if you're aware it's got, you know, the mother's immune system recognizes the child as a foreign body so naturally and biologically what the woman's immune system will try to do is kill the baby so what the placenta does is basically fight off or trick or deceive the mother's immune system so that it doesn't do that oh it's an amazing amazing temporary organ yes I'm glad yeah I'm glad you brought that up Mandy it's a miraculous organ it really is look at so many different like species like I mean just freaking octopuses blow my freaking mind I mean there's so many things that are so unexplained, but you know, Kinsley had, and

Starting point is 00:27:25 actually her and I were just talking about it last night, a birthmark on the palm of her hand. And as she gets older, it's fading, which is so amazing because it was so big on her hand. I'm not saying smaller as her hand gets bigger. And she said, look, mama is still there. And then she goes, what do you think it's from? And I was like, I don't know, maybe from like a past life or something.

Starting point is 00:27:48 And she was like, yeah, that's what I was thinking. We were just talking about last night. Yeah. Yeah. She's the only kid that I have that had anything like on a extremity. Like Lindsay has one in the, she's got a birthmark in the shape of a question mark. Oh, interesting. I feel a lot of babies come out with that red on the back of their heads and neck, like

Starting point is 00:28:11 a birthmark. Probably from birth. Okay. Cause sometimes it goes away. Most of them, it goes away. Yeah. It'll go away. It's always right there.

Starting point is 00:28:20 Interesting. I really liked how you took it back, how you teach that they can bond and interact before this baby's even conceived. And then also you have a lot in your book about, you know, you have the fussy baby, you have the baby that needs to be held. You have the baby that doesn't need to be held and using that intuitive parenting, as you call it, to help with them when they're young. Yes, yes, yes. So did any one of you have a visitation or any kind of contact with your child before they were born?

Starting point is 00:28:54 Oh, yeah. I used to always have dreams about the babies the whole time I was pregnant. Okay. Okay. I don't really remember Drew's. I don't think, I can't think of any but you know it's really funny it's now my son Drew my oldest he has dreams about babies all the time he just told me about two days ago oh wow like full blown out like real situations like real life stuff like like baby

Starting point is 00:29:22 showers and birthday parties and going to the movie and just strange, like full blown scenes. He's 24. Okay. Well, that could be his future child. Interesting. That's what I think. I was like, that's what I told him. I think for me, I remember this was the only child that happened with, but I placed my hands on my stomach and I called Shannon. I said, I've met this baby before. Like I know this baby. And when she was born, I would look at her in my arms while I was rocking her. And I'm like, I know you. I just felt like this deep sense of knowing of her before she was ever born. Yes. So that's what I want parents to know and recognize that when you have these dreams, or when you have these visitations, that that's real, okay, that those are encounters with your

Starting point is 00:30:15 soon to be child. You know, I had one recently, like probably about two months ago and do you know I woke up so sad oh yeah because in my dream I was so freaking in love with her it was so real and I did not want to leave her now could it be that it's a grandchild that's coming into your life could it be you know some other type of connection it's not going to be one that's going to come into this life's body anymore. Um, or I would adopt if I could though, I swear to, I would, I even woke up saying that like, Oh my God. Yeah. But I loved being pregnant so much. I mean, like I was so sad when they would leave my body, you know? Yes. Yes. I was the same way. And you know, I find it pretty sad and not a lot of women really take the time to enjoy that time of their lives. Do you ever encounter the women who are like, Oh,

Starting point is 00:31:15 I can't wait for this to be over. I want it over. I'm like that definitely the last, the last month for sure. I mean, I loved having that baby in me. I think that because I went through most of my life unconscious like you know I'm just so busy those were the nine months you know four times that I was very very present with myself and my body because of my child yeah because of me yeah so the dreaming and the. Now, the other ways that a soul can present itself to you is even in subtle ways while you're awake. So I've had patients who have told me that

Starting point is 00:31:56 they heard a child talking to them or laughing before they became pregnant. Or while they're pregnant, they will have these types of dreams that are so real that they wake up and they're like, oh, this was different. Unmistakably, this was different. Those are definitely interactions with your soon to be child. And then afterwards, once your baby is born, one of the things that's so important that I always tell people, it starts as soon as the baby is born, bring that baby up to your chest, have that skin to skin contact. Now, I don't know if your children are old enough to the time when having that skin to skin contact after birth was routine. Now, thank goodness, it's primarily routine in hospitals. Did you ladies have that skin to

Starting point is 00:32:53 skin contact with your babies? You know, I don't know with my first two. But I was always very close with my babies, though. You know, I didn't really follow the rules that I was supposed to do I was always fighting against that you know okay don't go get them I was like no I'm sorry you're gonna spoil your baby I'm like yeah makes me not that makes me not okay so now it's pretty much routine in labor and delivery for uh the babies to be placed on the mother's chest, skin to skin contact, or kangaroo care. Kangaroo care is basically the same thing. You put the baby on your chest for certain periods of time throughout the day. It could be with clothing, it could be without, it could be in a carrier, it could be just sitting in a rocking chair. And what that has absolutely proven

Starting point is 00:33:46 to promote is not only that intuitive type of nurturing bonding, but it has been shown to stabilize all physiological systems such as breathing, temperature, even brain activity, circulation, heart rate, digestion, immune system to be stronger simply by putting the baby close to you throughout the day. It doesn't have to be all day, just maybe for about 30 minutes here and there. So extending that as the child grows, probably up to about a year, you have those, thoseto-skin moments that you're carrying. Now, one thing that not many doctors will tell you is that humans are born about a year too early in terms of their neurological development. So there are such things in the animal kingdom as carry care and cash care. Now, carry care means that it's those primates that carry their child for a certain amount of time after they're born.

Starting point is 00:34:56 Well, like primate apes, right? They carry their children around with them. Now, as humans, we, oh, let's get to the fanciest crib. Let's get the fanciest devices, swings and stuff like that so that we could just go about our business and put the baby over there. Whereas anthropology has shown that we should be instituting carry care for our babies for a year after they're born. We as a Western society, we kind of fed into that cash care, which means baby separate from mother, baby separate from parents. And that goes against even just basic biology. If anybody wants to learn more about that, Dr. James McKenna from the University of Notre Dame, he does fantastic studies about that.

Starting point is 00:35:51 It's very, very clear how in our Western society, you know how you have the indigenous peoples, you know, they carry their babies in carriers in their back. That's the way that it really should be. And it has unequivocally been shown through science, the benefits of that. The babies sleep better. They eat better. Like I said, all physiological systems work better. And now when you think about it in a spiritual sense, right? Baby comes into this world. The soul is so new to physicality, so new to this dense body. The systems inside the body are not working properly. Why? Because even the energy that is housed in that body is chaotic. Why? Because it's so much dense. It's like, okay, what do I do with

Starting point is 00:36:47 this body? And the way that the baby copes is by being close to the energies of a parent or the energies of somebody who is stable. What do I mean by stable? Somebody that has the best interest of the baby, the energy of love radiating from this person. Okay. These are so important because with some of the things that we as young mothers were taught, Oh, leave the baby in the crib, train them to fall asleep on their own. Let them cry it out. No, no, baby's chaotic. The baby's energies are being released out of this precious little body that needs to conserve energy, right? So when you're teaching a baby to cry themselves to sleep, to train them, eventually they'll stop crying. What they're learning to do is not to go

Starting point is 00:37:47 to sleep on their own. What they're learning to do is to not trust their parent to come get them. That's really what they're learning. Wow. And you know what, I it was torture for me to even attempt to try to do it. I failed miserably with every kid. time because women are starting to really get out there in their careers and we're busy. We're even more busy than we ever have. And I think that you're seeing this shift where a lot more women are in situations where they have to work full times and they're handing these babies off to other people to raise them at daycare. So making sure you're choosing daycares wisely that will nurture them still, if you can't. Yes. I mean, has been also proven, I think through studies that led to having narcissistic traits. And so that doesn't surprise me why doing the opposite of what you said creates an empathetic baby. And I do have to say that

Starting point is 00:39:08 with my last child, I was definitely more relaxed. I was a different mother, you know, I have kids in different generations. And I mean, I'll never forget when Kenzie was nine months old, when she showed her very first empath moment, I was crying and I just talked to my grandma and I was feeding her and I was rocking her and she talked to my grandma and me, I was feeding her and I was rocking her and she put her hand up to me and she goes like, she like scrunched up her in between her eyes. And she looked right through my soul. Like she was so concerned for me and she put her hand up and I'm like looking around, go, does anyone see this? Like she literally has like compassion and empathy for me right now. And she can't even talk. Yes, yes, yes. My son, Ethan did something similar. He was playing in

Starting point is 00:39:54 front of me on the floor. And I was sitting on the couch and his back was to me. I was reading a magazine article that made me get a little weepy. Now I was very careful not to utter a sound. I just had the silent tears coming down my eyes because I didn't want to upset him. Do you know there with his back to me? He's playing with his blocks or Yes. And I just froze. I was like, Ethan, how did you know that? He goes, I just knew mommy. Just had a memory of when I was pregnant with my last daughter, Sloan. I was newly out of recovery from a near death experience when I was pregnant with her. And I was really just, I remember struggling one night, crying and really longing to like

Starting point is 00:40:51 go back to the heaven that I saw in my near-death experience. And the real world was just so hard in this moment. And she started like kicking me over and over again in my stomach like mom I'm here I'm here and I remember Facebooking about it because it was in that moment where I just was able to find some serenity and I started talking to her that way I would lay there and she would communicate with me by kicking me it was awesome oh wow you used to do that too. Like I'd look at her, she'd look at me, I'd look at, you know what I mean? It was like, that was a response, you know? I mean, I would do anything. I had a dream the other day that I had a baby in me, another one,

Starting point is 00:41:39 I was pregnant and I'm just remembering this. And I woke up and and I was like I think I have an alien baby in me and that's why I'm so nauseous I've been having all these stomach issues but I literally could feel like arms and stuff poking out of my stomach like it felt so real this is just probably less than a week ago wow wow wow thank god you can't have no more children. Yeah, of course. Of course, Shanna. What are things that our listeners can do to promote that bonding before the baby is in that belly? Okay. Well, so I have some suggestions. One of the things that you can do is, have you girls ever heard of flower essences? No. Is that like oils?

Starting point is 00:42:31 It's more of a tincture based in like a very mild alcohol. Yeah. Forget Me Not. And it has been known to promote that connection and bond with your soon to be child, even preconception. You can purchase it from I think it's box B A C H apostrophe S flower essences. Like what kind of scent is it? There is no scent. Okay, so it's just the natural. Yes, what what they do is they put the flower, they dilute the essence of the flower and some type of alcohol tincture. Now for pregnant women who might be concerned, even though it's only two drops four times a day on the tongue. But I could understand if somebody is concerned about any alcohol content, even though it's scant, what you can do is put 20 drops in your bath, and just soak in the bath water with the flower essence, enjoy that,

Starting point is 00:43:41 you know, try to connect, meditate, quiet your mind. And then afterwards, you get out, just pat yourself dry and see if you can quiet your mind to connect with your baby. That's one way. The other way is just to talk with your baby, try to connect. You know, we all know as spiritual people that the baby will hear you. It doesn't matter whether or not the baby doesn't understand language. The baby understands the language of vibration, the language of love. So those are things you can do to connect with your baby. And after the baby is born, I always say there's nothing more effective and powerful than that

Starting point is 00:44:27 connection that you have where you're actually putting the baby close to you for a certain amount of hours a day. Because what happens is that promotes a type of knowing. I'll give you another example. I've had patients who have practiced that kang you know, kangaroo care, you know, several times a day. And they tell me that they're able to intuit when their child is getting sick, even before the child gets any symptoms. They just feel something's off. Or smell them.

Starting point is 00:45:00 Exactly. I've smelled sickness in all my kids. I could always tell I smell. When does it become inappropriate? Because my seven-year-old literally falls and cries for my skin. She says, mommy, I need your skin. Has to have her hand on my neck. And you know, we, I took her to Disney last week. And when she's scared, she has to put her hand under my neck right here on my skin.

Starting point is 00:45:22 And she still always wants to touch my breasts. She's very much when she sleeps at night, she like has to have her feet like down my back or wrapped around me and touch me like she always talks about my skin. Oh, okay. So you're asking when is it? Yeah, I mean, she's seven. You know, my husband thinks it's strange he's like she needs to be in her own you know she has a hard time sleeping in her own bed so she's she'll come in in the middle of the night and she wants my skin do you know why she's having a hard time being in her bed she says she needs mommy's skin okay okay that's a tough one. Because what I usually say is a child will disengage or create distance when they feel secure enough. So I think more of the question is, if there's something that they're being insecure about, is there something that that they're trying to get from you? And it could be even something energetically. Okay. Yeah. So just try to tune in and talk to your child and see if there is something that she's not saying.

Starting point is 00:46:32 She's not communicating. Yeah, I'm a firm believer that once the child fills up, kind of visualize it as filling up their own chakras, in a sense, filling up their own essence.ras in a sense filling up their own essence and then it's a sad day disengage yes and then you're like but they don't let me i agree i go through that now i'm like kathy you don't want me to lay with you and she's like well you can but you don't have to and i'm like can't we just snuggle for a while and we do we, we do. And every once in a while, she'll call me in a room in the middle of the night. She's got crazy dreams and she's very sensitive and stuff like that. But I mean, she doesn't need me anymore to lay down and she'll even tell me I'd like to try. And I'm like, and so I, it's happening and it happens on their own, but all my kids,

Starting point is 00:47:23 I did that with all my kids in In Louisiana, like that's very common. And I know that when I came to Colorado, like that wasn't, I think I slept with my mom until I was probably like 11. All my kids did, brother did. It's funny because we just had this conversation over the weekend with my nieces. And my husband was relating how my children slept with us, you know, for five years old, six years old. And my nieces who are not mothers yet said, Oh my gosh, no, I would never have my child sleep in my bed for that long. Never, never, never. And you know, both of us, my husband and I both said, but you want that so that they can separate when they're ready. And when they're ready, and it'll happen.

Starting point is 00:48:07 It does. I know. Like you said, exactly. And when it happens, some of us are really sad because we realize it's over. They don't need us anymore as much as they do. It's true. And Mandy, I was wondering about this. Is it possible that your daughter might sense or knows about, you know, how you were so near death and might worry about that in some way, shape or form?

Starting point is 00:48:35 Yeah, I was just thinking about the same thing. I was still in a lot of fear when I was pregnant with her because I just had my big asthma attack. So I didn't feel safe myself. I didn't feel safe in my environment, my surroundings and my own body. I was walking in fear constantly, not knowing what caused my asthma attack on top of just the trauma of what I just gone through. So absolutely. She's happy that you're home too. And she's scared that you would leave. I mean, if it's happening now more than before yeah no she's always been like this always it just very attached you know my son slept with his hands on my cheeks but it's yeah it stopped around now I used to sleep with Kinsley

Starting point is 00:49:19 when she was little because her dad and I didn't get along. So I willingly would go and sleep with her. So that kind of like formed that habit a little bit, I think in many ways. But you want to know what I love, Christy, and this is a good example for our listeners is you just made me think outside of the earthly world of being a mom, you had me just tap into the energy and the spiritual realm of what's going on between me and Sloan. And I think that's what, correct me if I'm wrong, is the purpose of your book. That's the whole purpose of the book. Exactly. Exactly. Look at your child, not as this biological product that, you know, the medical profession is saying, you know, how this, you know, you raise them this way. This is

Starting point is 00:50:13 how we have you, you know, we take care of your pregnancy, we take care of your childbirth, we're now going to tell you how to raise them. There's no such thing as parenting courses in med school. I always say that to the parents, no such thing. So take that power back from them to you. I could go off on a tangent about also breastfeeding and this goes beyond. I was just going to say that. Everything we've talked about right now doesn't even have to do with breastfeeding. So letting people who have a hard time often feel so guilty about not being able to do it. I breastfed half my children and I still have a bond with all of them. You know, I feel really sad for people who carry that guilt.

Starting point is 00:50:55 They need to let it go. They can just hold their babies the same as anybody else. Exactly. And that's what I write in the book. Now, the reason why I brought up breastfeeding is not because of the act of breastfeeding. The reason why I'm bringing up breastfeeding is because it has historically been that breastfeeding, whether or not to do it, how to do it has always been a male dominated thing. In other words, well, if you can't breastfeed, here is formula, you know, in the hospitals, here's your formula package, you don't need to breastfeed. And we know what's right. In order to breastfeed. And in order to parent intuitively, you have to give that power back to the woman. It's just part of it. And part of giving back that power to the woman,

Starting point is 00:51:47 it's natural then for that to facilitate that intuitive nurturing. Okay, you need that empowerment to then have it naturally move into that intuitive nurturing, and it will happen. And again, the main thing that in my book that I tried to say, is look at your child as this beautiful entity that chose to be born in this time. And how look how courageous this entity is to join us because it's a pretty shitty world sometimes. Let's be real. They're here for you or they're here to better themselves or they're here to better the earth or all three together. And so look at your child with the eyes of the soul and try to nurture that, try to help them align with their purpose. As a registered nurse, was there ever a uncomfortable space that you had to sit in where you were kind of crossing over? I mean, we're seeing it shift now where

Starting point is 00:52:52 science and spirituality are combining and becoming more married, but did you have to sit in that space for a while? Oh, yes. I'm also a medium. So there had been times when I would get messages while I'm sitting with a patient, you know, about whether it be a loved one telling me something about the child, or there were situations where I had to just assess whether I could trust this patient with my truth. Yeah. And there were times where I couldn't, and I would just stay quiet and keep it to myself. But there were some times where I could share it. And that was very liberating. Yeah, this might be a difficult question to answer. I'm curious. You know, a lot of women that can't have babies struggle with the fact that that's not something they'll ever be able to experience in this life.

Starting point is 00:53:50 But I think that what I just said at the end is important in this life. Something was triggered in me today where I was thinking, well, maybe they could do like a past life regression or just sit within themselves and visit. Because whether you've had a baby, you still have that, that mom instinct. I believe it's part of being a woman. I mean, what do you have to offer to people that have had miscarriages or have lost babies or that can't have babies? Well, having a child in your life doesn't necessarily mean it has to be a biological child in your life. It could be a niece, a nephew. It could be a friend, a goddaughter, a godchild.

Starting point is 00:54:34 You can make all that difference just by, like I said, looking at this little being through the eyes of the soul. You can make such a difference to a child that's not biologically yours. And I say this in the book often, the child need not be yours in order to share a bond where you can help this child be the best person and have them best aligned with their purpose and look at their strengths and soften their weaknesses, bring out what this world needs from that child. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. So that's what I try to tell anybody, whether it's teachers, coaches, obviously the healthcare people who I worked alongside with. Yeah, just any child that you come across, you know, so important. You've made me realize just how important it is to these volunteers that go and lay those babies on their chest and rock them in these hospitals. How important that is.

Starting point is 00:55:37 Yes, yes, it is so important. Doesn't have to be a biological child of yours. You're awesome. Thank you. Thank you. So are you ladies? Well, I'm so amazing to have on. Thank you so much. Oh, thank you so much, ladies. What a pleasure. Can you tell our listeners where they can find out more about you and your story and where they can purchase your book? The title of the book is A Journey Into Being, Knowing and Nurturing Your Child as Spirit. You can find the book on Amazon and you can find me on my website,

Starting point is 00:56:12 christineramos-rn.com or intuitive nurturing.com. And they both go to my website. Perfect gift. That book for the new mother with the forget me not t-shirt. Yeah, that would be the perfect gift for any new mother. Yes, I agree. And now it's time for break that shit down.

Starting point is 00:56:41 Okay, so what is in my heart? I just, if you can just look at the child as being this courageous soul that's here to try to either shake things up or make things so much better in this life, nurture that, nurture your bond with your child and bring out what the divine meant for that child to do here because this world needs them. I can tell you when I was pregnant and I don't remember which child it was, but I had guilt for giving birth to a baby during such an ugly time of the world. I don't remember what was going on. Was it nine 11? Let me think. I just remember being pregnant and going, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm bringing you into this, but you today reminded me and all of our listeners that this child is courageous to come into this world at this exact time. It is not a mistake. It's meant, and they're supposed to be here for this time. time. It is not a mistake. It's meant and they're

Starting point is 00:57:45 supposed to be here for this time. Oh, gosh, you gave me chills. That's exactly right. Because I had a baby during that time. Also. Yes. Thank you. Thank you, ladies. Thank you so much. Thanks for being with us today. We hope you will come back next week. If you like what you hear don't forget to rate, like, and subscribe. Thank you. We rise to lift you up. Thanks for listening.

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Sense of Soul - Intuitive Parenting

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