Sense of Soul - Letting Glow with Phill Webster

Episode Date: October 16, 2023

Today on Sense of Soul Podcaat we have, Phill Webster is a writer, actor, and spiritual teacher. After living abroad for 20 years, he returned to the UK and ventured into acting. He has since gone on to appear in movies alongside Sylvester Stallone, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Elle Fanning, among others. 
After losing his mother in 2021, he realised that he had been dismissing spiritual calls to action his entire life. One particular incident, that he writes about in his debut book "Letting Glow", spurred this call to action above all the others. He has since trained with Indigenous Shamans from North and South America, as well as world renowned mediums such as James Van Praagh, Gordon Smith, and Claire Broad. Phill has also studied Female Spirituality In The Middle Ages at the University of Barcelona, and is a trained meditation teacher as well as a personal trainer. 
Letting Glow is his first book, and a profoundly personal account of grief. Through learning to connect with our intuition, he invites readers to join him on the journey of exploring our connection with our higher consciousness.
https://www.phillwebster.com
https://www.instagram.com/phillwebster 
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Hello, my soul-seeking friends. It's Shanna. Thank you so much for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast. Enlightening conversations with like-minded souls from around the world. Sharing their journey of finding their light within, turning pain into purpose, and awakening to their true sense of soul. If you like what you hear, show me some love and rate, like, and subscribe. And consider becoming a Sense of Soul Patreon member, where you will get ad-free episodes,

monthly circles, and much more. Now go grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Today on Sense of Soul, I have Phil Webster. He is a writer, an actor, and a spiritual teacher. Phil is joining us today to tell us about his new book, Letting Glow, a guide to intuition, spirituality, and living consciously. And he's here to share with us the journey behind writing this book.

So please welcome Phil Webster. Thank you so much for being with me. How are you doing today? Yeah, I'm good. Thanks. First of all, I love the title of your book, Lighting Glow. I found that a lot of the things in your bio for myself, I can relate to like looking back at my younger self and seeing that, wow, I always had this in me, yet it was never developed or I was never guided to use like intuition or like see synchronicity and signs. Like it was just like passed off as coincidence or, or nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd love to know more about how you came into this and just how you got here. Yeah, sure. I'm based in London. I lived abroad for around 20 years or

something like that. And then came back to the UK around 2017. And I'd always kind of bounced around a lot traveled around the world somewhat, I kind of never really found my thing. You know, I never sort of grew up thinking, okay, I want to be a fireman or a doctor or something like that. And I was sort of falling into different jobs and do different things. And then when I came back to the UK, I felt like a very big sense of sort of connecting with my roots, you know, and that kind of reminded me of like what I was into as a kid, and I was always obsessed with movies and stuff. And I thought, well, what would he want to do, right? If he could just do anything and start over. So I pursued acting. So I kind of went that route just for the sake of, you know, trying it out, and then started getting a few speaking parts and, and this and that and pay

the bills with it and had some amazing experiences, worked with some great actors. But it never again, it didn't really sort of scratch that itch. Like I saw myself on TV and I'm like okay yeah now what you know and then around the start of 2021 I lost my mum so she brought me up and it pretty much just been me and her and she'd lived alone for for the last 20 years of her life and of course there was lockdown and all that stuff so you know none of that was very fair on elderly people especially and then yeah something happened around her, which really triggered the catalyst for writing this book. Yeah. So that's kind of my brief last few years. You know, that's one thing that humans all have in common.

You know, we're all going to experience loss because, you know, there's the end of the road for each one of us. Well, when it comes to our meat suit. Yeah. the end of the road for each one of us for well when it comes to our meat suit yeah but you know when I lost my dad I always say it was he gave me birth twice you know once in my life and once in his death because he was my rock it was so just life-changing for me yeah I'm sorry to that for your loss yeah no but I really like that. What you said that my mom passing was has definitely sent me on a completely different trajectory to what I thought it was on. And just it and it really does change everything. You know, one thing I always say is, you know,

like, and of course, we all have different relationships with our parents. So I can't really say this across the board. But essentially, you know, your parents are really like the one true witnesses to your lives you know and and then when they've gone it's like stepping into an alternate reality you know it was this one and then the suddenly this one and you know I thought I was prepared for it my mom was getting older she was 76 years old she had various age-related health problems and I kind of you know was expecting it yeah but still it's it's just you really don't know till you know right yeah and I kind of you know was expecting it yeah but still it's it's just you really don't know till you know right yeah and I think now it's getting towards the three-year mark I'm starting to finally feel that I can sort of you know move past it a bit and start going forward

but I really didn't expect how much it really beats you down you know I had no idea you just re-evaluate everything essentially. But yeah, you know, I wouldn't have wrote the book if my mom was still here was really the catalyst around my mom passing to what really sent me down this path. So something happened around the night before she passed away. So I kind of wasn't really, I dipped my toe into sort of learning about esoteric experiences and spiritual practices and things like that over the years here and there but at this time in life it wasn't really something I was thinking so much about so as I was saying we'd just gone through COVID and and I hadn't seen my mom for a couple of months I was just getting ready to start work on this movie and we'd just been through Christmas

and through government lockdowns and everything I hadn't seen her for I didn't see her at Christmas and I hadn't seen her since November so it'd been a while and we would FaceTime every day um and on this particular night I think we'd FaceTime already two or three times that day and she picked the phone up so she would always keep her phone charging on the floor right and as she sort of leant over to pick the phone up. She was leaning in from one side of the screen. And then there was a man leaning in from the other side of the screen. And I was kind of like taken aback, right? It was like 930 at night. And she lived in a very rural place, a place called the Isle of Wight, where I grew up. So and again, we were in a lockdown. So I kind of knew all the neighbors. And no one should have been there. You know,

I kind of knew her daily routines and stuff like that. So I was kind of shocked. I was like, okay, well, who's that? And I saw him long enough that I could describe him. He was maybe in his sixties, had thinning gray hair glasses, kind of gaunt looking. And as she picked the phone up, he went out of shot. And she went and sat down. And I said, well, who is that? And she said, who is what? And I was like, okay, I was like, well, the guy, I just, I just saw someone. She was like, no, no, no one here, you know? And I was like okay I was like well the guy I just I just saw someone she was like no no no one here you know and I was like okay this just threw me off completely you know and I kind of grilled her a little bit and she was like no there's not been anyone here all day you know and I was like well

okay I just I know what I saw but she wasn't giving any signs that there was anyone else there and and one thing that she would always do which would drive me nuts when I was a kid especially was if we'd ever have a phone call and there'd be someone else there it was impossible to have a conversation with her you know she would start speaking more politely she wouldn't be herself and I'd be like okay come on and uh and she wasn't doing any of that and and then we spoke for like another 45 minutes and and I just thought okay well I didn't believe there was anyone with her you know physically with her and I thought well I must have been mistaken so I just dismissed it and then went to bed that night and then the next morning I got the phone call that she had a

heart attack and passed like a neighbor was trying to get into the house so again that event was really the the catalyst that sent me sort of down this rabbit hole of looking into, you know, more sort of esoteric experiences. And it also made me look back at other things that had happened over my own life, little instances that are dismissed or some bigger ones also that didn't really sort of fit in with everyday reality. And I've been like, OK, well, that was weird, but I don't know what to do with that. So I just kind of brushed it aside, you know, but this was a big one. And, you know, if kind of my headspace had been then where it is now, I would have been like, okay, well, that's somebody letting me know, like something's up here, you know, and I would have gone straight down there.

Yeah. So again, that changed everything as well as going through the grieving process of losing my mom and all that comes with that. And this experience kept at the back of my mind, well, what was that? You know, who was that guy? And eventually, you know, I spoke to a couple of people, some people were saying, well, you were just grieving. And I was like, well, I wasn't grieving. It was before the fact, right? And then somebody suggested that I started asking for signs. And I did. And I started getting them. What was your spiritual life growing up as a kid? I mean, like, was your mom,

did your mom have a spiritual practice at all? You know, were you guys- No, not really. We never really, something we never really spoke about regretfully. You know, there's so many regrets, so many things I wish I'd told her about. And that's really something that I do say

to everyone that's got a good relationship with them or even not a good relationship with their parents, really like ask them everything, ask them everything that you can think of. Because you can't at some point, you know, but no, not really, we didn't go to church. We didn't really talk about these things. She did tell me about a couple of experiences she had. When she gave birth to me, she talked about seeing her own mom, like when she my mom maybe lost her life during that but again we didn't really sort of dive into it you know I believe that she believed in in something more but again never really explored it with us so yeah

I didn't particularly have a very religious upbringing and not not a very spiritual one okay you know that's interesting because you, for the longest time I've been grieving my religion. I've been shedding, almost brainwashed, right, in many ways. So it's interesting to see a kind of like a different perspective from someone who really just had a clean slate of what they want their beliefs to be. That's an interesting observation as well. Yeah. Thank you for that. I'll take that one on board. Yeah. Because that's, that's an interesting observation as well. Yeah, thank you for that. I'll take that one on board. Yeah, because that's the thing I kind of would always, as a kid, I sort of was interested in, you know, ghosts and things like that. And I think I remember things sort of happening around the house, maybe paranormal things. And then I kind of, as I got

older, I thought, did that stuff really happen? Was it just like, you know, a kid's imagination, and a couple of other events that I just kind of as it got older they didn't really sit in my memory the same way that everything else does and and I just kind of just put it to bed you know yeah I didn't really know what to do with any of that and then not really having a very well not not a strong religious upbringing at all yeah I never really had anything to sort of I don't know fall back on or sort of reassure me or this or that. So yeah, that's an interesting way of looking at it. Yeah, clean slate. Yeah. Yeah, which is I oftentimes carry guilt, fact that I was going to choose my children's religion

before they're born. I did to me now. That's insane. Yeah, well, I mean yeah we live and learn right that's sort of a cliche out but yeah my older kids kind of got screwed with the mom that who I am you know who I turned out to be but you know everything happens for a reason and they definitely still are you know growing in in their own journey so when you mentioned earlier that as a kid though you liked films and stuff like that what kind of films were you into like star wars or like freddy krueger or pretty much all those yeah so yeah it was the 80s and um yeah you know i had a pretty tumultuous upbringing like my mom and dad split up my dad was um quite abusive towards my mom well he was very abusive towards my mom and then when i was eight we went and lived with a with an old flame of hers um she was kind of that era her age she kind of at the time thought that she needed you know i needed a

father figure or something and she thought that you know it's the right thing to do me and this the stepfather of mine we didn't really see eye to eye so yeah I would sort of find escapism through movies or books or anything like that to just kind of step away from this it wasn't the worst upbringing but it you know it was difficult from time to time so yeah I would just sort of escape in any kind of fantasy thing like yeah all that stuff lucky to have grown up in the 80s because we had all those big all those big movies that we had so um yeah yeah that kind of was my way out yeah one of my favorite movies was labyrinth right i've never seen it saying that i'm a kid of the 80s yeah i never i've never seen well it'd still be good if you watched it because

david bowie is awesome and it's just I don't know you know there's a lot it's an allegorical story in so many ways you know a lot of movies are yeah you know teaching you something and you know that in that realm of possibilities are limitless I feel that we've not been taught that that is actually a possibility for us too yeah definitely like recently I've been very much caught up in this book promotion thing not been taught that that is actually a possibility for us too. Yeah, definitely. Like recently, I've been very much caught up in this book promotion thing. And I've kind of gone away from sort of my more the spiritual direction that I was heading meditating a lot. I was joined a development circle around mediumship. And then yeah, sort of more practical things have taken

my attention away. You know, it is kind of good to remind yourself that actually, yeah, we are the, you know, we're painting this picture, right. And not just sort of getting caught up in all the distractions and, uh, yeah, which is so easy to do. Yeah. So you talked about signs, you asked for signs, you know, through my journey, I would say that as I became present, if you want to say awakened, which I've awakened a gazillion times, so it's hard to say there's just one spiritual awakening, but I have been led by signs and synchronicities. And, you know, at first thinking they were so shocking and, you know, I'm like,

ah, so excited about them. And now they're just like, if they don't happen throughout the day, I get a little worried. So what kind of signs and synchronicities were you, you know, was showing up for you? And how? Because, you know, we all receive differently. You know, I'm very clairvoyant. So I feel like I really see them. So after losing my mom, I was working on this movie. And I just kind of was burying my head in books. And I remember a couple of books that had helped me along the way. And actually, I remember you recently had Neil Donald Walsh on your podcast, which are amazing hero of, you know, I remember reading conversations with God when I was 25. And he'd wrote one, I think it was called at home with God, which I'd which I'd read whenever it came out a long time ago, 1520 years ago, and thinking,

okay, I need to read that again, because that was just talking about the process of dying and that we don't die, you know? And like I said, this wasn't something I'd really thought of for years. And I remember that book I was like, okay, I need to read that again because that's just going to help. And then talking to somebody on this film set and saying, tell them the story that I just told you. And, and this lady, she suggested, yeah, she was like, Oh, you should just definitely start asking for signs and it kind of crossed my mind and I thought well what if I ask for one and I don't don't get

one then what then what does that all mean then that thing maybe that wasn't a real thing I don't know you know I was kind of afraid to during this time yeah we just moved into a new apartment in London and well I should say my partner pretty much moved us in because I was on this movie every day and then I had a day off and I was putting Blu-rays away, right? They're kind of obsolete now we've got streaming services, but I had like a stack of them in a box and I'd got all these and I must mention, forgive me. I was working on one of these big Marvel superhero movies, right?

It was called Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. So it was like a sequel to Dr. Strange. That was the movie that I was on at the time. And there's a point to that. So I've got these Marvel movies in my blu-ray collection and I was putting them all away and as I did I thought oh yeah okay so let's do this it's like okay mom if you're around give me a sign right and then I went back to organizing everything and as I put these blu-rays away I noticed that one was missing and it was Doctor Strange like the the first movie to the sequel that I was working on.

Yeah. And I thought, okay, well, and I remember just being more annoyed than anything. I was like, okay, they're all here. Where's that one? Everything should be in the same box, right? And then I went about tidying the rest of the flat and I hadn't really,

I kind of forgot about this asking for a sign thing. Yeah. And maybe an hour later at the other side of the place, there was a stack of books and this Blu-ray, Dr. Strange was sitting on top of the stack of books and then the author's name was poking out from the the book right underneath the blu-ray and all i could see was maureen which was my mom's name and then the title of the book underneath that part of the title was poking out and it said living so i've got dr strange maureen and living and I thought okay I don't know immediately the

cynic in me was like I don't know but then on the other hand I was like well I did just ask for a sign you know and then a little bit later on I came across a book by a medium called Claire Broad and interestingly and and again put it down to coincidence at the time so I didn't look the lady up or anything like that I just liked the title of the book it was called what the dead are dying to teach us and I didn't know where she was from she could have been from the state she could have been from Australia or anywhere and the first page in the book took place across the street from where I was living like I could look out the window and she was talking about a cemetery in a place called Richmond in London and it was it's like literally across the street and I was talking about a cemetery in a place called Richmond in London. And it was, it's like,

literally across the street. And I was like, well, what are the chances of that, you know, but again, just sort of dismissed it and read the book. And anyway, that kind of started getting me thinking about mediumship. A little bit later, I wandered down the road. And I walked past a spiritualist church in my area. And I didn't know what a spiritualist church was at the time. I don't know if you guys have a few of them there. They're very much leaning towards spiritualism and mediumship, essentially. And there was a notice board outside that said that every Sunday, there was a demonstration of mediumship. And I knew what that was at this point. And I was like, all right, well,

let's do it. Let's go check it out, you know. So I went along and I didn't know how this thing works, right. And weirdly, I'd set all of my social media stuff to private and everything. I don't know how I thought that somebody knew I was going to show up there. I don't know what I was thinking. But I was straight off the bat. I was like, need to be careful of these people. I don't know. And I went in and, you know, no money exchanged hands, anything like that. And there was a small congregation that maybe 15 people people and there was a lady there the medium that night was a lady called Janet Neville and she started working her way around the room and people started confirming everything she was saying she started talking to a lady and she was saying okay I'm seeing a house in Scotland she

said this name of a town in Scotland which she claimed she'd never heard of before and this lady was confirming everything she was like oh yeah yeah that's my husband's family's house that you're describing and I've seen pictures of it and this and that and I was like okay and she worked her way around and she was getting like 90% of everything right and I was kind of opening up more to this idea I mean I was there hoping to hear from my mom obviously right but still I was kind of really being really yeah I'm not falling for anything. And then eventually she got to me and she immediately started talking about a young man or somebody that had passed in his 20s. I was thinking, well, I had no idea what she was talking about.

She kept on about him. And then she said something interesting. She said, oh, you know, she said, you're a medium. I said, well, no, you know she said well yeah she was like you know keep an eye on that right she and she started talking about me being a voice for spirit that's how she put it and sort of kept going on about it and this guy whoever she supposedly had was saying yeah yeah yeah you know you're going to be doing this someday and I just didn't know who she was talking about eventually the penny dropped she talked about us going to college

together and I was like it suddenly hit me I was like okay yeah yeah I know exactly who she's talking about somebody that tragically died when I think he was 20 I was a little bit younger and he'd kind of fallen in with the wrong crowd drugs were involved things like that and I was like now I know who she's talking about and then she said okay I've got a lady that's just recently passed like an elderly lady and described my mom and then the game changer for me was suddenly her accent changed and she started speaking with my mom's accent right and so this lady had like a very cockney London southern English accent and then she suddenly switched to this very northern accent which was my mom's accent and sort of very briefly described her passing.

And that she said, you know, it was, it was amazing. It was wonderful. She said, and that she's with me and, and yeah, and that just, you know, I choked up a heart stellar racing and that, and again, that really changed everything. Right. I was kind of on the fence with this stuff I mean I believed enough to go along but the accent changing that was like okay that was my mom's voice that I heard right yeah and and it really did change everything and and then it just sent me down this deep rabbit hole of of looking into specifically mediumship and learning about mediumship

it's truly amazing I mean like similar after my dad died, I had an opportunity. My friend had asked me if I wanted to go see Deb Shepard, who I've had on my podcast. And it was this huge event here. My dad came through and I knew that he would. It's kind of like I, Oh, your mother passed and all these things happened. She was right on even said, like, did you lose a little dog? Because I'm seeing a little dog around him too. My dog died two weeks after my dad. I mean, these specific things, unless she researched me or listened to my podcast. I mean, I don't know how, you know, she would have known those things. And so, you know, and it kind of goes back for me where, you know, I, I grew up, it wasn't necessarily that I was a skeptic. I just had a strong belief system and you didn't mess with that kind of stuff. And so for me, it was, you know, I stopped believing what I was being told and I started to live by my experiences. And, you know, that's what you're

explaining. I mean, no one can take that experience away from you. This is your truth. Well, that's it, you know, and that's really what I wrote in the book. I'm not trying to sort of convince anyone, I can only give my own subjective experience and what's worked for me. And essentially started documenting my journey from those stories through learning about mediumship myself, and just sort of documenting what's worked for me. There's lots of meditations in the book I found that finding meditation was just again I keep using I've got to stop using the word the term game changer but yeah again I feel that that's really the key to unlocking mediumship if somebody was interested to go down that path.

But it's also just been opening things up to just really connecting with, you know, not getting swept up in your thoughts, not getting, you know, getting attached to emotions that come with thoughts and being able to step back in meditation and just kind of observe those thoughts passing by and realizing that we're kind of, you know, this separate thing back here. Yes, the witness. Right, exactly. Like consciousness or the backseat. Yes, the witness. Right, exactly. Like consciousness or the backseat driver or however you want to look at it. And I remember that sort of really connecting to me to, again, going back to childhood, I just remember having this sense of this. I remember talking to a kid when I was like seven or eight and saying, oh, do you ever get this sense of like, I am me, you know?

And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. And I was thinking, he doesn't know what I mean. Right. But I couldn't articulate it. And I realized now that I was describing, you know, consciousness, being able to step back from your thoughts and realizing that you're the separate thing that doesn't have to get swept up in all of the all of the drama, which we all do. And yeah, meditation has really been such a learning experience for me to be able to separate that. You know, when you relax the body, and you quiet the mind, like what is left is truly your most realist essence of yourself, your soul, yours, that's where you sense your soul, your higher consciousness, however you look at it, the witness witness and it's almost like this space where it

gets to explore and play and be free you know from this body from this monkey mind so it's it's limitless i love it yeah me too and even though i've read a whole book about it and there's a meditation pretty much every chapter. I'm still guilty of neglecting it, you know, you get caught up in this and that we have to get to work, we've got to pay the bills, and all those kind of things. But yeah, I feel that it's so beneficial to just take that time, even if it's like 5-10 minutes every other day, I feel that things start to sort of flow a lot better, right? And when you can tap into your intuition and again another thing I often say is you know we all have these moments of walking into a room and being able to cut the air with

a knife where someone's had an argument or you know we can't quite put our finger on something and we have a gut feeling and we have all these all these terms that we use but typically when you start using words like clairsentience or clairaudience or sixth sense then people kind of just dismiss you like you're nuts, right? But I think it's just like semantics. We're talking about the same thing, you know? And again, going back to meditation, I feel that, you know, when you can sort of tap into your intuition or your consciousness

or your soul, you know, whatever words we want to use, then that's really the key that, you know, when you start going with that. And of course it takes some time, right. You know, it's not, I think there's also a fine line between sort of intuition and impulse. So it's, you know, I always talk about sort of, I feel that when you get practiced in, in meditating and recognizing the intuition and going with what comes first,

rather than before the doubts and questions come in, then that typically tends to be the right thing. But there is also a balance of recognizing that and not just sort of going on impulse as well. Yeah, those things that are coming in in those moments are really important for you to become witness to, to hear, to listen. It's part of the journey.

Acknowledge those thoughts that are coming in. I know for me, that was one of the biggest things that happened. I saw that I was talking shit to myself. I was like, wait, who's, who's, you know, who's saying that? You didn't come here talking shit to yourself. Yeah, no, that's it. And it continues, you know, it doesn't, I'm sort of talking about these things. And especially the books, I feel like I can write a lot better than I can talk. But you know, writing like these things, like I'm Yoda or something. And but still, through the day, I'm still struggling with the things that we're all struggling with. And yeah, like you say, what can you do, the thoughts are going to come. And I feel that that's another

thing that people think, with meditation, that you really have to have this, you know, silent time, the thoughts are going to keep coming, just acknowledge them, and then come back again, you know, come back to the breath, come back to the moment of now. Yeah, we spend much of our time worrying about the future, or worrying about the past, which doesn't even exist. Yeah, exactly. So these things that would happen over the years, I had a very profound one, maybe mid 30s, something like that. And it's kind of funny that I also managed to dismiss this one, because this was somewhat lifeholdering. But at the time, I was living in Helsinki,

and I was running bars and nightclubs. I was living kind of a hedonistic lifestyle, a little bit, very much self absorbed, I would say, and I wasn't really sort of thinking of the bigger picture at the time. I was just doing what I thought was, you know, what I called at the time, fun. And I was already too old to be living like that, to be honest with you. But I've woken up one particular morning, and I don't know if I was hungover or not, or whatever, you know, most of the time I was in those days. And I just had this kind of thought, and it wasn't a new thought, but something shifted with it. And I was just thinking about time being nonlinear, you know, we only really have this moment of now,

right. And just as I had it, everything suddenly fell away, like, almost just in a terrifying way. All of a sudden, my sense of perception of time just disintegrated, like all of a sudden, like the future and thoughts of the past just disintegrated. And it was like now, right? And people talk about, you know, connecting with the moment of now. Been like that on mushrooms before. Right. Okay. It felt like a terrifying psychedelic experience.

I've never really dabbled with psychedelics or anything here and there, like once or twice when I was 20 or something. But this was just out of the blue. And all of a sudden it was now, like now, now, now. And I couldn't switch it off. Right right and it was like almost as though I'm having like a depersonalized experience like I was over here observing myself or observing my thoughts and it was terrifying I have to say it was terrifying like like physically felt fear go through me and and I just got my act together I put my you know headphones on I went out for a walk. I thought, I'll walk this off.

And it just wouldn't stop. And I tried to go to work that night. And I could barely function, right? It was just like, now, now, now. It was relentless. And I just couldn't drift off to think, oh, what did I do earlier? Or what am I going to do tonight? It just seemed absurd.

And the thing is, it just kept going on. And it kept going on. And it went on for weeks. And I eventually went to a doctor and try to explain this. And they were like, Oh, well, this sounds like psychosis. And I was like, Okay, that doesn't help, right. And they put me on a, you know, bunch of like, anti anxiety pills, some sleeping pills, stuff like that. None of it works, you know, the sleeping pills would knock me out, but I would wake up and it would just start all over again. It just didn't touch it and I was truly scared I started thinking

okay this isn't stopping you know this was weeks later went to see another doctor same diagnosis psychosis he said albeit mild because I was still sort of somewhat functioning going to work stuff like that but I felt like the best way I could describe it, like I was hanging on to like a slippery bar, right, of reality and barely sort of keeping my grip on things. And it was terrifying. And months into it of just trying to explain this to people and just kind of getting this very sympathetic look, you know, that people are like, okay. And I knew I sounded nuts. I just couldn't explain yeah i i finally found a psychiatrist and what interested me in him was that he was also a

hypnotist so i was like okay i see this dude hypnotize it away right i don't want this anymore i want to get back to the herd i want to go to work i want to worry about sort of that right and and he listened to me and he was like he said no no no he's like you're fine he said like you're not you're not psychotic he says you're you're having an awakening right and and he started talking about things called shamanic sickness and he used the word mystic and i remember feeling really awkward i was like okay well just just make this therapist yeah yeah i feel like you know like the one therapist out of 100 or whatever that would have gone the medical route. And this guy was like, no, no, no, man.

He was like an old hippie or something. And he gave me a couple of meditations, very basic meditations. And this was really my introduction to meditation. And they brought me back. And it took some time. But just through that, no drugs, no talking about psychosis. He was like me back, you know, and it took some time. But just through that, no drugs, no talk of psychosis, he was like, No, this is an awakening, you're in spiritual crisis, you're really seeing reality for what it is. And I would do these meditations every day.

And very, very gradually, I would have like one good day, a couple of weeks later, it'd be two good days, and so on until I was kind of back online or offline depending on how you look at things but yeah you know and it took the better part of a year to sort of come back and as soon as I did you know I was a lot more you know my ego had been smashed to pieces you know I kind of started concentrating on what what I thought was more important moved back to the UK at that point and and that's kind of where I really sort of thought about okay well actually what do I really want to do you know um and where the acting thing came in um but yeah it changed everything and and again just sort of from this perspective now these experiences just I mean that was a pretty profound one but every few years it

was seen that something would come along and I thought, okay, well maybe it's time I start taking notice of these things. And, and again, that's where the book came from. That's incredible. I feel like, I mean, I'd like to know your opinion on really truly what that was, but I mean, do you feel like in some way, cause you said you kind of like, we're seeing yourself, you know, like there was this witness, like your higher self. Do you think that, cause I've had stuff like that, not like that, but similar. The only way

that I'd be able to describe it, it's hard to put words to it. That's why I'm like, I can't even find words to even, you know, but possibly it's like my higher self or maybe even my future self, like trying to nudge me or to lead me into where I need to be? Yeah. I, you know, I, I feel like I'm not smart enough to figure it out. You know, I mean, I've had like insights and again, just going back to the books, letting glow was really more my, you know, the documenting what pretty much what I'm telling you. And then I wrote a second

book straight off that which kind of went into bigger things I started learning from a couple of um indigenous shamans and just sort of diving into this as much as I could and I felt like I'd learned so much that there was another book there and I and also just gonna go out on a limb and I believe that some of it was channeled right um I I would look back on it and be like okay that's not me that's that's way smarter than me and yeah I feel like I yeah I feel like I've had some insights into these things there but it's just such a like you said I don't I actually I could read from the book but I off the top of my head I can't really articulate it you know talking about time and multiple dimensions and and all these that, you know, are we living all these different lives at the same time somewhere else?

Yeah, it's a whole other thing. Like it's another hour of conversation. Or I thought about to myself, am I remembering something? You know, am I awake? Like did something shift um or did i create somehow enough space within me you know enough light that now i'm remembering myself on a soul level i mean i did do a lot of ancestral healing i feel like you know i moved past that kind of like physical healing that needed to be done in my dna and now I've got more space for light. And so now

what's happening is, cause I mean, I have a lot of synchronicity. I mean, it's a huge part of my journey. I'd say, you know, if you had to say what's your gift or whatever, you know, it's, it's synchronicity. It's me somehow working with my environment to lead. I mean, some of it's been downright scary and horrific. I don't know if you heard, I mean, I had a dead dove, like literally die in my portrait in front of my eyes. And then like two weeks later when born on my porch, you know, I mean, you know, just weird stuff, but the synchronicity was I'd been writing in my book and in my mini series, all about a dove. So, I mean, it just, you know, stuff like that.

I mean, it's just there's, you know, and like your stories. I mean, some of these things are like there's no way they're coincidence. I mean, there's no way there's something definitely sending signs from the other side, whether it's my higher self, my my future self source you know that I don't know but I don't know if I'll ever know because but I'm such a seeker I'm always trying to figure it out of course and having these conversations just makes me wonder other people's perspective I don't know if I'm on the um sort of same track but just what just struck me then is that you talking about that made me sort of think you know you're really you're you're doing this you're living this you know yeah um I think we've something that came through um recently was talking and again I just read back on this later

and don't remember writing it at all right and it was talking about you know having a responsibility at this point and I feel like I'm sort of I need to get back to it I've somewhat been shoving it aside and and you know, doing podcast interviews, radio interviews, stuff like that. Yeah, right. You know, and it's kind of taken me away a little bit from what we're talking about. And, you know, you've got such a great platform and you're living it, right? And I think we do, you know, when we realize these things, when we open up to these things,

and now, you know, we've both got a voice for this then um you know there is an element of responsibility that comes with it and i gotta say you know you're you're doing a great job oh well thank you so much you know another weird thing that just happened god i want to say it was yesterday i swear we're so much far more powerful than we know so my son who's autistic who I've told you about already, he's having a really hard time. So he gets really obsessed with things. And when they don't go his way, it's not that he's a brat. He doesn't require much. I mean, he likes frosted flakes. You know, he likes Subway. You know, there's certain things,

but if Subway were to close down or frosted flakes were no more it would be an issue yeah he likes wwe you know there was this one time i switch uh carriers like uh and we were getting it an hour later that was an issue yeah i mean i had to switch back because it was it was an issue for him otherwise this kid is is the easiest one i have out of all of them easily but one thing that is marvel he um he even wanted to do a podcast on marvel so i think i can tell you that it's been 100 and maybe 22 days he knows like he tells me every day this is a big part of my life right now that there is a strike going on and he is extremely, extremely concerned every day. He screams, he follows it.

And people don't, I mean, this is like affecting all of our lives right now because of him, because he's such a hardcore fan. And so I literally said yesterday morning, I actually said to my older kid, I said, I wonder if I know somebody who I can express this to how much this is affecting him. And then I sat there and wrecked my brain of the people that maybe I would know to be able to just share with them how they don't realize how much it affects those who love what they do. Yeah. Is really affecting their fans and even their families who don't have a clue,

you know, what these movies are, but yeah, that's like that's his life to go and to follow this stuff so well that's it this is gonna it's gonna be a thing you know there's not gonna be any content like into it like in the next year or two because because no one's right no one's filming anything right now so there'll be there will be like this other stretch like when we when we were in covid lockdowns and all the rest of it where there'll be you know resharing rerunning the empire strikes back and stuff like that because there's no big hollywood movies because of the strike but but i

kind of get the strike as well but yeah yeah i don't think they yeah realize how how much it he doesn't require much. He really doesn't. It's really got him trapped inside of his mind. And that's the one thing this kid understands energy like nobody else, because he has no ego to tell him, no, that doesn't exist. He believes in it. Yeah. He was in high school. And I said,

imagine that you have a superhero force field around you and you can walk down those halls he did it and it worked you know yeah i do that sometimes myself for real like yeah so many people here like in london like sometimes i'm thinking okay you know i need some boundaries here like as you know central london especially as you start to awaken into those spidey senses yeah like i moved into this place very recently or within the last year and it's right across the road from a train station and i've got a shortcut which takes me into the town if i go through the train station right and and i would leave the flat in a good mood and then get through the train station i'll be like god damn it like you know just done with people for the day already right I was thinking what's

what's my problem like where you know and then somebody pointed out that like you just said yeah well you know you're you're opening up to this stuff that everything's energy you're walking through this train station where people are you know going and coming from work and uh and and you're just sort of picking up on it so it's been something that i've you know tried to be a bit more mindful of yeah at one point i thought maybe it was just me that could then like feel people's pain and and all these things and then i realized no we're all like empaths no definitely especially like in a place like this i mean i'm not in i said central london i'm not in central london i'm in west so there is there is an element of of countryside and stuff like that where you can kind of escape to thankfully

but yeah we do pick it up like no doubt about it right again i keep bringing it up because i've been guilty of it myself you know just getting swept up in the everyday mundane and getting caught up thinking i need to do this and need to do that and before you know it you're just sort of like wrapped all up in it again and that's's really when you, you know, really should take that time to step back, either be conscious to it or unconscious to it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you so very much for coming on sense of soul. Oh, yeah, it's been an honor. I listened to your podcast and really enjoyed the episodes. Yeah. Tell everybody where they can find you and where they can get your book. Yeah, sure. So the book's available everywhere,

all the usual bookstores, if they haven't got it, then then they can order it. Obviously, Amazon is sort of the go to is called letting glow. I'm most reachable on Instagram, Phil Webster with two L's. And then I've got a website philwebster.com again with Phil with two L's. Well, thanks so much for sharing your story. You know, being vulnerable. Really nice speaking with you. Yeah. Interesting conversation. Thank you. Thanks for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast. And thanks to our special guests for joining me. If you want more of Sense of Soul, check out my website at www.mysenseofsoul.com, where you can work with me one-on-one or help support Sense of Soul podcast by donating to my coffee fund. Thanks for listening.