Sense of Soul - Lighting the Way

Episode Date: August 7, 2023

Today on Sense of Soul Podcast we have, Author & Advocate Marlon Bacote. After three decades of battling addiction, he hit rock bottom and searched for recovery and wellness. He spent a combined total of 23 years in jail and prison for petty larceny charges to support his habit. With co-occurring disorders ranging from depression, PTSD, bipolar, and Substance Use Disorder, he felt he had no way out of a meaningless life. Hopeless, suicidal, and lacking self-esteem, he entered the Drug Court Program, and everything changed. While in Drug Court, he earned two college degrees, held a steady job at the regional hospital, and began a career as a mental health professional to include becoming a VA Board Certified Peer Recovery Specialist.  He joined us today to share his first book, “Lighting the Way: Hidden Treasures.” Which highlights the importance of peer support in the treatment of mental health and promotes self-love in the hidden treasures we all possess. Get his book: https://www.amazon.com/Lighting-Way-Treasures-Marlon-BaCote/dp/B09PK6JC6D/ref=nodl_?dplnkId=29a573e5-8176-42e9-9682-fffc9c56fbd4 Follow his journey on social media:  https://instagram.com/bacotemarlon?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== https://www.tiktok.com/@marlonbacote623?_t=8edDlE1nrYM&_r=1 https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100055507114504&mibextid=LQQJ4d Learn more about his journey: https://www.wavy.com/opioid-addiction/portsmouth-health-department-hosts-opioid-anti-stigma-training/amp/ https://www.wtkr.com/2017/06/08/after-years-of-battling-his-own-addiction-newport-news-native-saves-man-who-overdosed-in-car https://www.liberty.edu/journal/article/the-opioid-epidemic-responding-to-a-crisis-that-is-gripping-our-nation/ https://www.amazon.com/Lighting-Way-Treasures-Marlon-BaCote/dp/B09PK6JC6D  

Hello, my soul-seeking friends. It's Shanna. Thank you so much for listening to Sense of Soul podcast, enlightening conversations with like-minded souls from around the world, sharing their journey of finding their light within, turning pain into purpose, and awakening to their true sense of soul. If you like what you hear, show me some love and rate, like, and subscribe. And consider becoming a Sense of Soul Patreon member, where you will get ad-free episodes, monthly circles, and much more. Now go grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Today on Sense of Soul, we have author and advocate Marlon Baycoat. I happened to hear Marlon on Pandora's Awareness Podcast, who I had the hosts Asher and Lavania on my podcast just a

few episodes ago, and I found Marlon's story to be inspirational. After three decades of battling addiction, Marlon hit rock bottom and searched for recovery and wellness. He spent a combined total of 23 years incarcerated for petty larceny charges with occurring disorders ranging from depression, PTSD, bipolar, and substance use disorder. Marlon had no way out of a meaningless life hopeless suicidal and lacking self-esteem and Marlon is joining us today to tell us how it was he turned his pain into purpose and since has earned two college degrees holds a steady job at a regional hospital began his career as a mental health professional, and becoming a VA board-certified peer recovery specialist. And he's joining us today to tell us

about his first book, Lighting the Way, Hidden Treasures, which highlights the importance of peer support in the treatment of mental health and support self-love in the hidden treasures we all possess. This man is a busy man. He's doing so much and I appreciate him taking the time for us today. So welcome Marlon. Good morning. Afternoon here. Do you have to go? No. So a month ago, I started answering the 988 suicide line for the five boroughs. So I'm in a training and it's not the actual calls today. I don't start those for another week, but it's the most intense training I've had in my 50 years of living, but understand though, it's people teeter-tottering between life and death and New York City. Oh my God. I can't even imagine. I'm always shocked and I always say, thank God for people like you, because I would never do it. I just could not do it.

It's part of my story. It's why I went through what I went through so I can empathize and help people. You know, that's one of the reasons why, when I saw you on Asher's podcast, I was like, wait, this is, I didn't see you. I listened to you. I was so inspired. I really like people's stories of pain to purpose because there are so many people in the dark, right? Well, the name of your book, Lighting the Way, and people telling their stories and giving people hope that there is light on the other side of the darkness. Thank you so much. And before we start, I want to give you your flowers now. I've seen you on every platform, Google, you are doing an amazing job helping transform lives by sending

out that positive message. And I'm honored to be on your show as well. Thank you. Well, thank you. It's just like you said, it's part of my journey, my purpose, and my story got me to where I am today. And I think that's kind of like what we need more of, right? And I'm still going through it. I'm still learning and growing and I still awaken all the time. So there's no big awakening. I feel like I'm awakening through things all the time, but thank you for saying that, but truly it's an honor for me. So Marlon, please tell everybody how you got to where you are today. Yeah, I am from Newport News, Virginia, a little town that birthed guys like Allen Iverson and Michael Vick. Yeah, good company. Sports community.

And of course, I came up in sports, played football for 13 years, went to Northeastern and Boston on a full ride scholarship, $80,000 scholarship. I was a political science major with a minor in Spanish. I wanted to be an ambassador to the United States in some Hispanic speaking country. So I became fluent in Spanish, able to rewrite, speak Spanish, possibilities of going to the NFL. And I had a traumatic injury on my knee my freshman year. So after 13 years of playing football, tore my leg up. The opioids came into my life and not soon behind that, there was a crack cocaine addiction that took me on a 30 yearyear whirlwind where I lost I lost a lot of life

god that reminds me not not the whole story but my son was a baseball player his whole life and it was his senior year his arm decided that it was just wouldn't throw anymore I mean the poor kid had like instability of his shoulder since he was 12 because, you know, all these coaches overthrew him, you know. You know, my dad died on the same day as his graduation on the same day that his team won state, his high school team, that he didn't get to play. I mean, just hit him hard. Right. It took him years and years to recover. I just maybe two or three years ago, I was able to start watching NFL games again. Yeah. In 1990, I was, I could have gone into the draft. My coach said, you're going to the league,

just stay with us for four years. And so I could watch college football because I was like, I did that. And then watching the NFL for two decades hurt so much because I get the chance to even try, you know, and that's kind of like what my book talks about those hidden treasure, you know, pressure creates diamonds, you know, in my story and people like me, when we go through things, that pressure creates something powerful, beautiful, vibrant, and resilient that it shines for the whole world to see, not just for ourselves coming out of it so that others can find their way. Yeah. It broke my heart truly because he's my oldest son. He just turned 26. He was like, coach me. Like, which base do I go to? Where do I go? Where's my team? Where's my fans? Yes. What do I do? And there was none of that. And I think he had grown up in a world that loved him when he hit a home run, loved him when he did good.

And I supported that. Unfortunately, I'll never forget the day he came to me when he was 16 and said, my arm hurts so bad, but I'm going to play because I'm going to play for you and I'm going to play for Papa. And I was like, well, you better. I've spent my whole goddamn life doing this. Are you kidding me? I have had cars repossessed because I paid your stuff first, you know, and this, this was my reaction, you know, and I've apologized and we've had conversations about that because that

wasn't right. You know, I mean, you have to do these things for you, not for what the world wants you to be, you know, and really truly when you no longer have fans, right. When you no longer, you know, have a coach telling you, you got to go this way, you got to do this. It's all on you and wait, you don't know anything different. No, because I had done that since, you know, early childhood. So I was very lost kind of in the same predicament and being lost, but also to have an addiction enter into your life after being abstaining from anything. I didn't even drink, you know, it was all about sports. And so now I was dealing with two darknesses. Yeah. The one where I was lost without the fans

and not knowing having a purpose in life. Right. And then the addiction darkness. So it was double. Right. You know, I think about this a lot. This is, you know, heavy on my heart, you know, often, you know, to see your son go through that and thinking even he was going to be that before he was born. Wow. You know, I mean, his dad was. My dad owned a sports equipment store. We were big in the community. You know, my little brother went to several colleges playing baseball.

I mean, it was just, he was going to be that. And he lived up to it. But what was his dreams? No one ever asked. Yeah. You know,

I remember someone once asked to find someone's purpose. You can ask him like, what makes you cry? Like, Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, wow.

So I have another son who is six years younger than him, and he's on the spectrum. And we were all very scared when he was going to high school. A child who can't really protect himself or even retell his day, it's scary. You know, it was for mom and it was for his siblings. So my oldest son went and got a job at the high school to assure that he could keep an eye on his brother. But I think what he was surprised what happened was he became almost best friends with the kid who was nonverbal. And they understood each other. And my son started to shine like the diamond that he is. And it was really beautiful to see that,

but that made him cry. Right. Like that love for, for in need yeah that's where I found mine I was a little kid and we would go like similar story of a football family and every year we go from Virginia to Philadelphia for the Army-Navy game. Amazing game if you've never been to one. All the cadets and everything. I've been to one here in Colorado because we have the Air Force Academy. Oh, my gosh.

My cousin is the football coach there. Same last name. You got a football family. I'm not making this up. Coach Mark Baycoat. Yes, he's the coach for Air Force. Yeah. And he's in Colorado.

Yes. And he came from Hampton, Virginia. See? So we would go there every year. And my mother would say, don't give all your allowance away. I would always, as a little kid, whatever I would get when we walked down the street, the people laying on the sidewalk, I would always give them my money, whatever I had. Because I knew, even as a little kid, I understood that I was okay.

I had good meals. I was dressed nice. Went to some of the best schools. And so I always had a heart. And for those who were less fortunate last night, I watched a movie I hadn't seen in 10 years. There's a lot of movies like fireproof and God's not dead. I watched God's not dead and cried three times again. The kids stood up at the end and everybody said, everybody said, everybody said, you know, they stood up with him after he was against so much, you know, everything was coming against him. His girlfriend had left him. His family didn't think he was making the right decision.

And he stood up for what he thought was right. He fought through that. And that's the kind of people that I still cry for. The people that have all the odds stacked up against them. That's where my heart goes. That's one of the reasons I've decided to take on this extreme responsibility of answering the 988 suicide crisis lifeline. Just to know that I'll be on the other end of someone trying to make a decision between life and death. I take it as a huge undertaking and something that coming through everything because my 30-year wilderness journey, oh, wow. It was so horrific at times that I couldn't understand why. With the prep school guy that came from the well-to-do family, how did I end up in Los and one of the worst projects and one of the worst prisons in the country. I didn't know a lot of that time why I was going through it, but 11 years I found, I said, this is why. And so every day I wake up now and I understand my purpose. I understand the assignment. Someone told me that yesterday. I have a

spiritual mother that I call to pray with. And she said, keep understanding your assignment because the enemy doesn't want you to thrive. Everything's going to come against you because you are bringing that light and that hope to the lost and the hurting. So true that spiritual warfare i had a conversation with someone just probably last month i just remembered this we were talking and she was contemplating suicide and you know she said she didn't after we talked, you know, she didn't feel like that. And I just said, thank you for giving me a chance to give you a chance. It's reaching out to just talk to somebody. I'm so grateful that they have a phone number, you know, now or a three number. That's even better, you know, that they have somebody on the other line like you rather than someone who's never maybe been there.

Because I think that makes a huge difference too. It is. That's another thing my book highlights is peer support. The importance, actually, it's the topic, bipolar, substance use disorder, and those contemplating suicide. That is on the cover of my book. It definitely makes a difference. Now, it's starting to recognize the importance of peers, certified peer specialists in the counseling field. It's kind of scary to go in and ask for help. I mean, some would rather talk to a peer specialist. It's not so formal. Yeah. It says in

the book of Narcotics Anonymous that the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel, like nothing compares to it. You can throw theory at someone and you can throw treatment and intervention, but until someone is on the other line and say, I know what it feels like, I understand. That's the connection that someone needs. That's the hope it inspires, whether you're dealing with addiction or suicide or any other type of mental health disorder, the hope shot that helps the person come out of whatever they're coming out, whatever they need to come out of. If I don't feel like it's better, and this was me during that 20, 30 year wilderness journey,

if I don't feel like there's anything better than what I'm going through now to help cope and deal with, help self-medicate and not deal with what I need to do. I'd rather be on the street living under a bridge than to come out because I don't feel like anything is better. And I felt like that so long. Wow. You know, I had random experience not long ago. It was only like two years ago, where I had remembered when I was like 11 years old that I had been violated. And it was like, why hadn't I remembered this? Like when I was doing all my healing like a decade ago. But the thing was, is I wasn't ready. I didn't have the tools. So really, I don't know what it would have done to me, but I, I knew what to do with that. I knew how to love it and to care for it. I knew what to do. I didn't

know what to do before with it. So I'm glad that it was like that divine timing. And then I was like, why does this happen to children? Why does this happen to people? Why? Because now I can talk to someone else and we can be there for each other. Or maybe, you know, even through my podcast, many people, it's that vulnerability, which, oh, my God, I used to think vulnerability was so bad. Don't be telling anybody your business. Nobody knows your business. None of your weaknesses, the shame and all that. We just push that under the rug and keep going. That causes pain and suffering for generations. Yes. Isolation is the worst thing.

And we believe in recovery that secrets keep us sick and they keep us hurting because we don't get to share. Sharing is caring and secrets keep us sick are two of the sayings. And, you know, I really believe in that. I didn't, you know, it's ironic you say that, you know, I dealt with the physical abuse as a child and not until I wrote the book five years ago, because I published it two years ago, right? I didn't even know I had gone through that. I was going through DBT treatment, dialectical behavior therapy, and mindfulness. And she kept saying, well, why are you so afraid of the future? And I couldn't figure it out. And we sat there for almost a year trying to figure out why. And it came out because I wasn't able to trust the people that were watching me because they would do, you know, abusive things.

Hot water, belt buckles, extension cords, you know, and that was just how they raised it. They were raised. They didn't know any better. They thought that was punishment. And so because I was hurt and I couldn't trust these people who were supposed to raise me, I had no trust in life. Right. And hurt people hurt people. So we know that they were hurt probably that or worse too. Yes. Where I broke the generational curse, I used to say as a child, I will never treat anyone like that. And that's why even as a child, I was so kind to people. I would go into nursing home. Not only would I give away my allowance, but as a child, I would go to the nurse. I used to love to go to the convalescent center and feed the elderly and done that. And I volunteered and done that even through my wilderness,

even times where I've found enough sanity to come out of the darkness, I would go and I would, let me volunteer somewhere. Let me work with the handicapped, the elderly. Like I said, before the injury and addiction, my first intern, even though I was a political science major, was at the Virginia School for the Deaf and Blind, where I worked. So your purpose was already right there. Yeah. And then I was big, so I used to carry the kids with cerebral palsy that couldn't. And I found out a lot of times they were stuck like that because, you know, they needed muscles worked out. And I did that. Yeah. Service work is a part of your journey. And I know that's also a huge part of Alcohol Anonymous and you've spoke about NA.

So I've done Al-Anon. I have since, I guess, probably off and on for 15 years. So I'm familiar. And I also love any work that Carl Young has any part of which I found out that he had a hand in the big book which is an amazing book I mean like that should be a book for all not just you know people with addiction but you know around me I've always, like my partner's an alcoholic. My best friend, she also is an alcoholic and she had 12 years of sobriety. And last year she fell off that, but she still has 12 years of sobriety.

And she's back on. Well, she's gone through therapy. She's gone through rehab. She's doing very well and put herself into service work. And that's where she needs to be. And so I'm super happy for her. Yeah. That's an important part. The give back. Actually, I think that's the last chapter of my book, because my book's broken down into three parts. What it was like as a peer, someone who suffered with the PTSD, bipolar, depression, and substance use disorder. Then the second part is the professional experience, the 10 years in the field, the education,

that perspective. And then the third part are the hidden treasures, how to bring all of that together and come out of it. And one of the things, one of the key ingredients is giving back. It's not so much because, you know, they warn therapists and clinicians warn against taking the focus off of yourself by doing too much or doing for others. So you don't have to look at yourself. So there's a healthy balance there to have. You know, someone has the fine, but there's nothing more gratifying than saying the same thing that tried to destroy me. I now help other people with. And saved you. That's pretty amazing. You know, I'm also around a lot of people have mental illness,

right. In different disorders. So I remember being in therapy and my therapist saying, you know, oftentimes it's people like you who the people around them will get help. And so, you know, you're the one who doesn't really need the help, but you're the one getting help. And, but it was the only way I could stay in relationship with people that I loved. If I made sure that I was good, that my cup was full and that they weren't driving me crazy. Every good therapist has a therapist. Yeah. That's for sure. But you know, one thing that I had found, and a lot of people don't talk about this, and I think you will agree with me, is that the way that I have to deal with, say, someone I have to deal with with mental illness is almost the exact same way as I have to deal with someone who is an addict or an alcoholic.

And it's very interesting. It's I see it as the same. I have to treat them the same, like putting up boundaries and not enabling in these things. It is. And it's actually, you know, in education, they teach us, you know, it is, it's just that substance use disorder, it's labeled under, you know, the DSM-5, the Diagnostic Statistics Manual, it's labeled in there under the mental health disorders, but as a substance use disorder, they don't call addiction anymore because they believe it's the mental health condition. So they are, they are actually the same. And it's just as, whereas say someone with depression or bipolar, which I can speak to specifically, you have the mania and you have the lows, right? Well, with addiction or substance use disorder as the mental health disorder, when the endorphins are increased to

amount above normal, a hundred times the normal limit, it does something mentally. And so now the brain is always trying to frame. That's called a crave. Where do I find that again? Wait, I felt so good. I will never feel that way naturally. And so it causes a disorder where the cravings come. So the mental health disorder, like with bipolar, I'm up, I'm down. How do I find the middle? Because one made me feel good being up here. And I also feel good being down here, but I want to isolate and stay in my room. Where's the balance? Always seeking for recovery and wellness, both mental health and addiction, not the cure, but the treatment is recovery and wellness. You know how they say you're an alcoholic for life, but why don't you just say like, I'm in recovery. I'm like, I think you're like, yourself is still that I'd be like,

I'm cancer. I'm cancer. I'm cancer. You know what I mean? Yeah. We're using that now. And I, and I try to get this message out and, you know, I thank you for sharing your story and, and that you, you know, you came out of not wanting to talk about it because that's the thing, the stigma. I just did a training for the Portsmouth Health, the Virginia Health Department to train professionals on anti-stigma and how we had these cultures and conditions coming from New Orleans, coming from Virginia to South. We were tough to don't talk about it. Changing that helps change the perspective of everything. And people have a place where they feel safe to you. So that's an important part.

It's okay to have stuff. You find me one person that doesn't have something. And actually that person might be the fricking most craziest. That's what it is because they're keeping all their secrets and it's tearing them up inside, tearing them up inside. No one to share it with until I started getting it out, put away the pride, put away the cultures and what the stigma of what I should do. And I was going back to see because we're coming into a new era, a new realm of mental health. That's why I want to get my message out to more people. Counseling's not that old. The profession's not that old. I just spoke at the Senate subcommittee four years ago to get peers into the arena of helping others because there were laws in place that kept us. Virginia would certify us as peer recovery specialists, but then deem us ineligible to work because of barrier crimes on people.

So you will need someone with lived experience knowing they've had an addiction and life that is related to that, but you can't hire them. So I was along with Senator Monty Mason from Williamsburg, Virginia. We passed a law that no longer deems. Yes, it passed the Senate and the House and was signed into law in 2018. But I say all that to say, when I was doing that and doing my research, I found that Virginia was the first state to license counselors. And guess how long ago it was? Wow. When? 1976. Wow. So you're talking about the 70s. We just started saying counseling is okay in the 70s. And Virginia was the first state.

I wouldn't be surprised there's a lot of amazing things going on in Virginia so it's the the profession is in essence isn't but 50 years old so that's why everything is theory try this theory try that so it's it's still all new church right I mean the faith that the church is going to heal it all. But the thing is, is that there's a lot of shame and judgment too. They thought you were possessed or they would do lobotomies and electric shocks. They were hurting people more. When you look at how the system is set up, it's not set up. It wasn't set up really to support someone that's's struggling like that unfortunately it's like

let's just get rid of them and that's why I agree with what you said about changing the I'm an addict to I'm a recovering addict we've just started doing that I've been associated with NA for 30 years and it would you would get frowned upon if you had said, I'm a recovering addict. They look at you like you're starting something different. No, we say this in here. I know. Now I go to rooms and country at a recovery community organization, 12 men's homes, seven women's homes. And I was a peer under a federal job. A guy like me got a job like that to work to fight the opioid epidemic crisis.

And in those homes and everywhere else, people are starting to say just what you said. I'm a recovering addict. I'm recovering. Yeah. I mean, you know, I think that words are so powerful. Words are so powerful. You know, one that really got me over the past year that I've been stuck on is the word heresy. Wow. Heresy means choice. Yeah. And that kills me because I'm like, how they didn't want anyone to have a choice. They thought people were wrong who wanted to think. You know, but it's true though.

You know, these words, they have a lot of power. And that's another thing that got me this year's in some of my study of the Gnostic Gospels Jesus of course is the word right Jesus is the word yes and then the first thought was actually in the Gnostic Gospels was a feminine energy called Sophia which is wisdom. And so they took out the thought, they took out the choice. They only gave the word. And so now that we're not just, you know, we're awakened and we do have the freedom to choose and freedom to think and to especially choose our words and, and no one can choose them for me so i don't have to be an addict

forever or a victim forever right i can choose to change my words and change my perspective power of life and death is in the tongue yeah another thing about jesus while we're talking about him i was sitting on my porch the other day. I wasn't talking anyway. I was a conversation in my mind, I guess. And I thought, gosh, it's not so much that we didn't learn about Jesus, who he was and his sacrifice, but we messed up. We didn't be like Jesus. We didn't do like Jesus, where it became more about the fear in God using Jesus, like you do, or you go to hell or whatever. I believe in this, or you, you know. Damaging, coercion, damaging. That's damaging. They teach against that in counseling with the

LGBTQ community. When I went through my education at Liberty University, we were taught that in the 70s, coercion counseling, telling people to shame on you, how you choose and how you feel about yourself. It killed more people, more suicide than anything else. Yes. But, you know, Jesus was a great example of how how to be you know that service work how to love everybody and do unto others as other would do to you and i feel like this world needs that more than ever but it's it has you have to change your perspective on it though because we've been trained to see him almost to be not feared, but, you know, be attached to a fear. And judgment. A judgment. There's actually a verse that says there is no judgment in love.

I know. Definitely. We got it wrong. You know, there's a vision I used to have that, you know, someone dies and they get hit upside the head with like a newspaper when they go, Jesus is like, you got it wrong. I do tell you, I know that being incarcerated, I know it's a big part of your journey. Oh, I have big jet going over my house. Okay. I live real close to the Space Force.

So, okay. Well, here's another one there's two is this a good time for me to sip coffee oh yeah sip your coffee i sip coffee the whole time that's the beginning of my show grab your coffee a few years ago we were in new orleans like the news, which is so funny to go to another state and listen to their news. But they were talking about how they literally had outdoor camps at their prison because they had so many people incarcerated. Angola. They didn't even have space for them. That's insane. And some of them, since I've learned, they were

in jail for life sentences for marijuana. Yes. It's just shocking to me. It's very shocking. 23 years for petty crimes to support a habit. I did 10 years. I did a decade in prison for two t-shirts and two bottles of lotion. Didn't hurt anybody. They even got the items back. I was coming out of the store. I wanted to get high and they caught me and under old Virginia law, that law is thrown out now. It seems like since George Floyd's murder and justice and social reform across the day, they started changing some of those things. But unfortunately, it didn't help me because I did 10 years, five for the two bottles of lotion, came out of the store to get a dime fix. They took the lotion back and I went to prison for five years.

Same thing with the two T-shirts and all of my charges. I call I did life on the installment plan. And that was during the early nineties. A lot of that, those, that time I did, the prisons were so crowded in Virginia, they were overcrowded. I got shipped to Texas to a private prison in Texas, Dickerson. Yeah. There were tents here. There were tents in Connecticut. And so Virginia shipped us to Texas so they could house us at a private prison where there was no regulation. There was no oversight. People were getting beat and murdered. It was hard. So a lot of prisons are overcrowded because of the laws.

If we consider addiction a disease or a mental health disorder and people don't take their treatment, which is recovery, we shouldn't lock them up, just like someone with diabetes. It's a disease. If they don't take their insulin and they get sick, we don't put them in prison, in jail. But, I mean, two bottles of lotion to get them incarcerated. Matter of fact, it was exactly the last two years of that for a technical violation when I wrote my book from 2018 to 2020. I just finished for two years. I lived off the state for two years for those two bottles of lotion. It may not have been a good place and I didn't want to be there. But I'm talking about it from a societal perspective. Would I have been better off in society trying to get better and working and helping the economy? Or did you all want to pay guards to watch me, probation officers to violate me so I could go to prison and finish the last

two years of that five years for that two bottles of lotion? Numerous, numerous programs, interventions through the state, court appearances, maybe 10 in total for judges, court appointed attorneys, the state paid thousands. I would say almost a hundred thousand dollars for those two bottles of lotion. I wish I could add it all up. Yeah. That actually reminds me of, I had a friend in high school and when he was 18 he went to jail for the murder of someone he was in jail for 24 years but the person who he was with admitted that jeff had not killed the other person, that person, and that he had solely. And it took seven more years to get him out. Horrible.

Seven years. And just like our system is so broken. Doesn't care. It doesn't care. He was 18 when he went. I did interview him like a few years ago. I mean, he was in his late 30s, 40s, 40s. I mean, that's so sick. We are the most industrialized country on the planet. We have more people locked up than any other third world country or anything.

So you mean to tell me with all the technology we can create all of these interventions and science and great minds we can't find a better solution to help people than putting them in a cage it's really really disturbing isn't it yeah it's really just here's the thing though they didn't care about your life at all but But what happened? I cared. Like I said, it was a technical violation. I went back into a prison that I knew I didn't belong in. So I walked around the prison like I did. I was the only one in the Virginia prison at Indian Creek, Chesapeake, Virginia with a typewriter, the old fashioned type. That's when I wrote my book. Yes. They used to come shake me down when they do the annual or the whole thing,

shake down and be like, wait a minute, he's got a whole type. Where did you get this from? The warden. I got it from the warden because I will fight for what I believe in. Right. No, I, I can't change what happened to me eight years ago. And they've got me doing this time in here. But I know one thing. There used to be typewriters in the prison, but you all replaced them with music players and games. I said, I don't want to walk around here and get dumb. I want a typewriter. And I fought for it.

And I spent that two years in there with a typewriter. And I wrote the book. And I had to put it on paper. And I came home and I went to OfficeMax and got it all scanned. And that's where my book, Lighting the Way Hidden Treasures comes from. Oh, my God. That's even better. I know that. I actually, isn't it the part where you dedicate to people?

I dedicate, and if you read my book and open it, Lieutenant, oh my gosh, I can't, I cannot, because I'm so excited to be on your show. But it was a man and a woman, and they were the captains. And I would go and get them to run off copies and help me get stuff. They helped me do my research. They would pull stuff up because I didn't have internet access and I had to be clinical. I had to put some research in my book. They would write off copies of me for stuff. I bothered them for two years and they were like, he's coming here. I said, I'm going to write this book. But I bothered them. I would leave my dorm and I would go and I got that book done. So that's how I came through.

I really believed. And that's where I came up with the title because I tell people, people ask me, you know, well, I want to start writing a book. What should I do? I say, number one, don't make a title because then you're stuck. You put yourself in a box of trying to write, write what's in your heart, write what you're feeling and the title will come. So halfway through the book, I found out what the title was going to be. And I was like lighting the way. This is going to help people. This is going to change the world of mental health. This is going to help inspire people. And this is going to give hope and hidden treasures around me. So many people, like you said, with insurmountable amounts of time for things that didn't deserve, didn't warrant what it was. And so a lot of loss. Yeah. Hidden treasure. So I can't remember the book either.

But it was the man who went, he was in the concentration camps, but yet he found his freedom. Oh, wow. It's a really good book. I'll send it to you. But literally, he was like, you can't imprison. That's right. That's exactly how I felt. I knew it was wrong.

I was writing news articles. I was out. I was writing a book. I was like, I'll live like I'm on it. And I had people on the outside. I had family that was like, be quiet. You're in there. We don't want people to know. And I was like, I'm not keeping quiet. I'm a hidden treasure. No longer hidden. I'm going to let out what I have to let out. I was interviewed from prison twice. Well, then and when I got out, I can't imagine how many people you inspired in there, too. Oh, I still have friends to this day. They always say you don't belong. They're like, he's always laughing and smiling. This is prison. Won't steal my joy. Nope.

They tried to steal your treasure and they couldn't and it was different and it was actually said that every dorm every dormitory no matter how violent or bad the prison yard was wherever I was there was a something different about it here comes the light you're lighting the light we're going to laugh. Sorry. And I've had so many people hate me for it. Oh, there have been times in other situations outside of prison, even when I came home and went to a transition home, you know, reentry. I was so happy they voted me out of the house. They were like, you don't belong here. You don't need it because you act like you don't. I was like, I have nowhere to go.

I got voted. I had to leave because of my happiness that happened i was so hurt i cried you know why though i've experienced this and i've come to accept this that when there is a very high vibrational energy of love and joy and everything you're speaking of, it really has a hard time existing with lower vibrational energies. If we're just talking about energy, you know, that's kind of my thing is I work with energy and they can't exist together in harmony. It's almost like antimatter and matter. When they come come together they collide and they explode because the energies are so just opposite they can exist isn't that crazy since i've been home these three years that's happened twice and i just seen people's faces change and i and thank you for sharing that because i could i couldn't understand i was like they actually changed they had to raise their hand and vote me out of

the house and i'm like i haven't done i had broken no rules it's almost like like i'd be almost like to them or it's like that you have a different language i experience this all the time and so now i know and i'm like okay and i don't want to lower my light to be. So yeah, if you're not accepting of the light and able to receive it and absorb it, then I'll move on. I contained it myself. Now that I'm letting it out, I will die. If I let anybody else do it. I'm going to live, laugh, love. You're helping me in this as well. And I love mentors now.

I love people with that energy. I love reaching out to them. When a question comes up, I have. It could be lonely. Yeah. There's a lot of people in that lower vibration. I don't want it. And they don't understand. And if I go and ask them a question or something about life, a life-changing event, and I need suggestions and feedback, I don't want to go to somebody that's going to dampen my life.

Right. Or try to put you back in that box where that vibration so can follow. Outside. How many people are not free and still living in that box exactly exactly yeah and here you are the free and you're like uh-uh no way well you know what thank you so much for sharing your story and for doing what you're doing i mean what an inspirational, human soul that you are. It's amazing.

Thank you so much. Thank you. Nothing. I'm still, I don't know. I still cry a lot. Do you know that they found out, they did a study that tears of sadness had toxins, but the tears of joy and happiness did not have toxins.

Wow. It's literally a way to detoxify. And then otherwise tears of joy, you know, like laughing to you, peeing your pants is like the best thing you could possibly do. But you know, there is a man and I don't know if Sergeant Tom Campbell still lives in Virginia. I think he might be retired now, but we did an interview with him too. And he was with my best friend, Mandy, my ex-co-host. He was with her brother when he died in Iraq. He was a sergeant and, you know, he's had a lot of trauma. But now he goes around and speaks to all of the different bases and stuff.

And he said, when I tell my story, he used to notice that he cried at this part of the story. And then he would tell it the next time. And you realize he doesn't cry anymore at that part. He cries at this part. Wow. And then you notice, oh, the more he told it and told it, he was like, I don't cry anymore at that part. I cry at that part. Yeah.

And the more he told his story, the more, yeah, he cried. But the easier it got. He was feeling for different parts of it. Oh, okay. Yes. That's happened to me. I speak a lot. Me too.

Now I'll be conscious of, oh of my crime it happens to me too because i just would get choked up the energy would rise into my throat why because everything had been kept down for so long so now i can say it so free and that's healing that's healing wow yeah but please tell everybody where they can they can find you you know what you're doing with the what you want the world to know they have access to and where they can get your book importantly lighting the way hidden treasures and Treasures, Amazon Kindle. I can be found at Marlon Baycoat on Facebook, LinkedIn, and then Baycoat Marlon on Instagram. I really need that Instagram, Baycoat Marlon, at Baycoat, M-A-R-L-O-N. See, because there's some old Instagrams that I can't even access anymore. Coming through that world when I lost a lot of things

and some of it was even attached directly to me. So those are my new pages. As a matter of fact, I have that blue seal now. So you know it's me. Oh, nice. He is verified. Meta verified on Facebook and Instagram and TikTok. You have a TikTok?

Check out my TikTok. I have several, but the one I have access to now is MarlonBaycoat623. Okay. Marlon Baycoat, M-A-R-L-O-N-B-A-C-O-T-E-623. I follow you on TikTok. Dude, I suck at TikTok. My kids say I have no TikTok game or understanding of it. I love doing the dances and stuff.

Hey. Oh, that's so awesome. And you are doing some peer counseling and stuff. If they're at a point where they are not in the light, they're in the dark, what can they do? Can they contact you? They can call 988, of course, or either 911, either one. But you can also reach out to me at lightingtheway.us. I have my own 24-hour peer support counseling service online. It's on the web. It's called lightingtheway.us. And I would love if anybody needed, I would be honored to share my pain to purpose, to passion, whatever they need, or just someone to listen. I understand I'm empathetic and I would love help in any way I could.

Give them a chance, right? Give you a chance. Give yourself a chance. Yes. Thank you so much. God bless you. Thanks for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast. And thanks to our special guests for joining me. If you want more of Sense of Soul, check out my website at www.mysenseofsoul.com

where you can work with me one-on-one or help support Sense of Soul podcast by donating to my coffee fund. Thanks for listening.