Sense of Soul - Meditation for the Modern Family

Episode Date: April 7, 2023

Today on Sense of Soul we have Kelly Smith, she is a Meditation teacher, and yoga teacher trainer. She is the Founder of Yoga For You and the host of two successful podcast, The Mindful in Minutes Podcast and Meditation Mama. She is also the author of Mindful in Minutes: Meditation for the Modern Family: Over 100 Practices to Help Families Find Peace, Calm, and Connection. Over time as a yoga teacher and student, Kelly has studied over 16 styles of yoga and meditation, taught over 5,000 hours, led thousands of students on 5 different continents, and helped hundreds find their true self.  So whether you're looking for a meditation teacher, want to get away for a retreat, or you're ready to take the step from student to teacher, or private instruction she’s got you covered. Kelly’s new book is available for preorder now, Mindful in Minutes: Meditation for the Modern Family: Over 100 Practices to Help Families Find Peace, Calm, and Connection. Learn more at Kelly’s website: www.yogaforyouonline.com Follow her on IG @yogaforyouonline https://youtube.com/@mindfulinminutes Kelly’s book:  Mindful in Minutes: Meditation for the Modern Family: Over 100 Practices to Help Families Find Peace, Calm, and Connection preorder now here. Join Sense of Soul’s Spring Book Club!! Starting on Sunday April 16th! We will be reading ‘The God Solution’ The Power of Pure Love By Neale Donald Walsch Learn more here: https://www.mysenseofsoul.com/spring-book Visit Sense of Soul at www.mysenseofsoul.com Do you want Ad Free episodes? Join our Sense of Soul Patreon, our community of seekers and lightworkers. Also recieve 50% off of Shanna’s Soul Immersion experience as a Patreon member, monthly Sacred circles, Shanna’s mini series, Sense of Soul merch and more.
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Hello, my soul-seeking friends. It's Shanna. Thank you so much for listening to Sense of Soul podcast. Enlightening conversations with like-minded souls from around the world, sharing their journey of finding their light within, turning pain into purpose, and awakening to their true sense of soul. If you like what you hear, show me some love and rate, like, and subscribe. And consider becoming a Sense of Soul Patreon member, where you will get ad-free episodes, monthly circles, and much more. Now go grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Hey guys, if you haven't already, please subscribe so you never miss an episode. And also please consider leaving me a review in five stars.

It really helps others find Sense of Soul podcast. I would really appreciate that. And on today's episode, we have with us Kelly Smith. She is a meditation teacher, a yoga teacher trainer. She is the founder of Yoga For You, and she is the host of two successful podcasts, the Mindful in Minutes podcast and Meditation Mama. She's also a mother and has been writing a book. And I can't wait to talk about one of my favorite topics, meditation.

So welcome, Kelly. I'm so glad you're joining us. I literally fell asleep to your beautiful voice last night. Oh my gosh, we slept together. How special. I know. Before we even met. I might fall asleep to you every night. That's so sweet. That just like makes sense. I mean, you know, it's like podcasters. It's like you just create something from your heart and you put it out there and you hope it reaches the people that need it. So it's always really special to hear like when your work is well received or impacting people in a positive way.

Yeah, I agree. I agree. You provide such an amazing space for people to access meditation, but you do have a lovely voice. So I can't wait to share you with our listeners. Oh, thank you. I'm really excited to be here. I love chatting with a fellow like mindful, you know, woo woo lover, all of the, you know, all of the good fun things. Well, you know, I am curious, you know, my journey into meditation did not happen until, gosh, in my thirties. And now I'm almost in my fifties.

So it's, you know, it's something that I look at my youngest daughter. She fully understands meditation. She's been meditating with me since she, I had to teach her actually how to meditate or I wasn't going to be able to. When she was like two, I remember I had a puppy and I had a two-year-old and I'm like, this sucks. Like when she was little, she would sleep and I'd have time, but now not wanting me to be quiet and neither is the puppy. So I literally trained both of them to meditate with me. That is amazing. I have a two year old right now. So I feel, I feel it. I feel it is chaos and it is tricky. So I get that. And animals are so cool when you meditate because they say that they pick up their cues from you.

So the reason that like, if you meditate, or you're doing like some kind of like a gentle, like yoga flow, that they feel your relaxation, and that soothes them. So they're like coming in to join, because they want to feel like that peace, which I think is so cool, because my dog always, always you know she always pops up during meditation and things like that yes and you know actually so I have two dogs I have an older dog and I have a puppy who just turned one yeah trying to work with her energy but good lord but my oldest dog he kind of went through my reiki journey with me and so so, you know, I gave him Reiki, you know, since he was a pup. And then whenever I have clients over, he knows what's happening.

So he like waits at the door outside of the room. And then as soon as I open the door, he'll turn upside down and be like, my turn. Oh so sweet that's really funny that's so cool reiki is so cool and i just feel like animals are so sensitive to that stuff like my dog my girl she doesn't like it as much like she prefers to like get energy from like heart space to heart space but i do reiki as well not like i don't offer it as a service i'm technically reiki trained but like she doesn't really want the hands work. But like if you kind of radiate like from heart space to heart space, she's into that. But like they have their own little personalities.

They're so funny. Yeah. Yeah. I remember the first time feeling like just really feel sensing Rascal. That's my dog Rascal. Oh, Rascal. Yeah. And I was like, holy cow. No wonder there was so much there. It was so busy. And

something else that when Kinsley, my youngest was a baby, I would even incorporate yoga into our play with her. I found like some yoga video or something like that yeah did you do that yeah I did a lot of prenatal yoga and we would meditate every day like in the mornings it was like our little time because he's you know the first so you know they get the special it's like you sit there every morning and you have your routine and then you like meditate together. But since he's been born, we're really lucky. We have a yoga studio nearby our house that offers both. They call it BYOB, bring your own baby, which I think is really cute.

And then when they get older, it's like little kids yoga, but you do it together. And so we do, they offer that a couple of times a week. And my son's very into it because it's just kind of like playtime on the mat and really just like exploratory. But so we're really spoiled because we have a place that like will offer classes. And then we also get out, I'm in the Midwest, so it's still like pretty cold. So I love that they have that. And they have that really close to my house too at a yoga studio as well and I've done mindfulness and meditation classes for kids as well just because it wasn't available it was such a need prior to COVID and then I haven't gone back to do that because then I end up so busy with the podcast but you know I had bought my daughter the yoga and then there's also the mindfulness cards. Still today, she's 11 and her and her friends will grab those cards and play with them.

They love it. Yes. Cause there's stuff to do together with a friend, but yeah. And I, every chance I get, if I hear someone, you know,

I'm working with their kids, I'll send them, you know, that deck or something. Cause it's so cool. Yeah. I mean, it's just something that I wish that I had when I was younger. And I actually wish that I would have been aware. I have kids all the way up to 20, almost 26. And so I know it's insane. It makes me feel very old to say so. And well, you do not look like you have a 26 year old. That's for sure.

Thank you. It's because of meditation. I was going to say it's all the mindfulness. It really does keep, it keeps you young. It does. They proved it in science. The telling here slows down aging. Yeah. I just wish that I would have done that with them, you know, cause it's one of those things where if I would have been taught, not that I, I mean, I accept my journey for what it is, but had I been taught these things at a very young age, I just feel like I would have been taught, not that I, I mean, I accept my journey for what it is, but had I been taught these things at a very young age, I just feel like I would have had a lot less stress. I would have been more focused on inward than outward. I would have maybe, you know, got to where I am a lot quicker. You know, where I'm going with that.

I feel that. Yeah. How did you get there? I mean, were you born into the Yogi community and, and oming? No, definitely not. So I started with yoga and this is, you know, I'm in my thirties now. So I was like a nineties child. And I think if like for younger listeners or like, even like your daughter, right? Like they're so familiar with yoga and meditation and it's like kind of cool in a way. Like it was not cool when I was that age.

It was like, you were the weird, like hippie crunchy kid that was like doing yoga. And so I was first introduced to just the idea of it. I remember there was like, my mom had like a book and it was one of those just like, it was like a book and it had like the pose name, had a picture of like a woman in like a nineties, like leotard doing, yeah. Like doing the, the pose that had like the name and a couple of instructions of like

how to do it. And that was the crux of it. And I remember just being like, I don't know, it felt like a little taboo. I was like, oh my gosh, my mom has a book on yoga because it wasn't like people weren't talking about it. Like there definitely weren't like kids yoga classes. And that was my first introduction to it. And then as I got a little bit older, um, when I was a young teen, I started going to some yoga classes as cross training for my sports. Cause I was an athlete through college and I started

doing that, but I was there just for the physical. And I even would like, I would skip Shavasana. I would just go there for like my stretch. I know I'm reformed though. It's my deepest, darkest secret. I used to be a Shavasana skipper, but I just was there for the stretch and then I'd get out of there. And then when I was 16, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and I was her primary caregiver. And I started to see, like, I didn't even cancer and I was her primary caregiver. And I started

to see, like, I didn't even really know it was meditation at the time. I started seeing her engaging in like more like prayer and like visualization. And I started doing some work that now having studied meditation in hindsight, I know like, you know, checking in like body scans, all of this stuff are meditation techniques. But I didn't necessarily know it at the time. It just felt like trying to keep my head above water. But that was kind of, I guess, my first introduction to meditation without really knowing what it was.

And my mom is healthy now. So we're very, very grateful. Yeah. She's a great Grammy, not a great Grammy, but an awesome Grammy. My two-year-old does not have children. But yeah, that was like my first introduction. And then I was always interested like yoga meditation, but I was really insecure and I was really worried about what people would think. So I still went to college. I checked all the boxes. I graduated with a piece of paper saying I'd completed college and was now an adult. And I

didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. So I did a yoga teacher training as many do when they're at a crossroads. And it was that really introduced me to like meditation, like proper meditation, like what it was, how you do it. And that was my first like taste of it. Yeah. And then I still got a real job for a while. I was so afraid of what people would think. You know, I think about, I love your stories of like your daughter, because I don't think, well, you can tell me cause your kids are older than mine, but like, I don't think it would be a big deal if your daughter decided that she wanted to like be a yoga and meditation teacher for like her career now. Or like when I did it like 12 years ago, everyone was like, oh my gosh, like what a waste you're throwing away your potential.

And I was so scared of that, that I felt like I buried this calling that I had for a while. It wasn't until we moved to a one bar, one Walmart town in Missouri for my husband's job. He got into med school there. I had to leave my job. I had to leave my friends. I was far away from home in this totally different place that I kind of said, well, screw it. I have nothing. I have no employment. I might as well try to do this and do what I love. And that's where I really started to pursue yoga and meditation because I wanted to be able to share it with my students. And I feel like you can't teach something that you don't know. So that's where I kind of started my meditation journey, which would have been in my early 20s. And I agree with you where it's interesting. Sometimes I think like, what if I would have known these tools when I was younger? But I also think the thing that drove me to wanting to learn these tools was the path that I was walking, the struggle that I had connected with my true self, the insecurity, the fear,

the anxiety. And so I think it's kind of a chicken or the egg situation. Like, would I even be on this path? Had I had the skills earlier I don't know maybe maybe not or did I need that struggle you know would you have shared this with someone else like you have because it's that journey of discovering it for yourself that you're just like wow if this helped me then it's gonna help everyone else and so absolutely yeah. Had you come into it, you wouldn't have been so eager to share her. Like that's how I feel with my attorney. I'm just like, I can do this. Anyone can, because I mean, I was so ADHD and it was one of the reasons how I got into it. Yeah. Me as well. We have so many similar. Oh yeah. Yeah. I was. Yes. That's where a lot of my shame came from actually was

being a child and I was diagnosed when I was little and like everyone just said I was dumb. Did you get that? Well, I definitely felt it in definitely. I was called like a space cadet airhead. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, I'm not dumb. I'm not a space cadet. I just learn differently. But yeah, that really, that was a piece of my journey too, of like, it helps so much with it. Right. And at first I thought it was ridiculous because I was in therapy and I was doing cognitive therapy for ADHD. And I remember a therapist saying, you know, you should go to, we have these mindfulness classes here and I said wow okay well I have no problem with my mind being full so I don't know it should be called mindful less that would make

more sense to me but I remember and it was like right as you know internet wasn't so big then I was looking it up not finding a whole lot on. And really the only thing I could find was like mantras and malas back then. And I couldn't find a mala. Like if anyone had a mala online, it was so expensive. So I decided to make one and got into mantras, witch mantras. So I love like the, is it called the curtain yoga? Oh my Lord. I love, love, is it called the curtain yoga? Oh my Lord. I love, love, love. In fact,

one of my favorite bands is Sean Johnson and the wild Lotus band. So amazing. He's from New Orleans. So his music has jazz. Yeah. It'll get your body moving. And I think that that's one thing that with yoga helps both the soul and your body kind of merges them together. Yeah, I agree with that because something that I think like the reason people come back to yoga, like I think they often start it for the physical, but they stay like for the extra is kind of what I call it because you can move your body. You can do so many different types of movement and you can move your body and, you know, get the physical benefits, the mobility, all of that. But like yoga is unique because it is moving your body. Yes. But it's also like the mindfulness piece. It's the breath piece. It's the being able to connect with something deeper,

that true like embodiment of body and soul and mind that I think like people come for the physical, but they stay for the extra. At least that's my experience. Yeah. And you know, it's funny. The other day, I happened to come across, I think it was on Twitter. It was a video of this woman. And I believe she was somewhere in Asia and she was doing Qigong. And I was mesmerized by this video. I mean, I wasn't doing it, but I was like, I mean, I watched it and I was like, it was like, I became like part of this experience. And I was like, you could tell she was just grabbing the energy and moving it. It was almost like you could see it and feel it with her. And I took a Tai Chi class. I always

have a hard time saying Tai Chi because I order a chai tea when I go to. Yeah, it turns into a tongue twister, doesn't it? So I'm always like, okay, Tai Chi. And I remember thinking to myself, how the frick am I doing this right now? Like, there's no way that if I just decided I'm going to do this move right now, that I'd be able to do it. So I hold it this long. You know, it's amazing. It's almost like we have no clue how very powerful we are. And how much, like when we tune into the mind, how much more our body can withstand. It's like when you're, it really is. Cause it's like when you're moving, I think about this a lot. And sometimes I say it in my classes and I don't mean this in like a, you know, push

it too far, but just be like, and check in. Like when you want to take those breaks, is the body actually done or is the mind over it? And like, there's no right or wrong answer. Cause sometimes the body needs a break, which is amazing. Like honor that. But sometimes it's also just like our mind has like checked out. And so we're much faster to take breaks or to try to switch. And like when we're really kind of dialed in and like in that space,

like our minds and our bodies are moving together. Like you can withstand so much more physically, like when you're also mentally dialed in. Your limitations expand during some of these modalities. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So cool. I know everything is always so connected. I absolutely love it. And you know, your story reminds me of, I'm definitely going to have to send her this, but one of my best friends years ago had passed away. She was like one of my best friends since like I was 12. She was 36 when she passed and her daughter was 19 at the time she was in college and her dad sadly had passed six months before her mom.

So here at 19 years old, she's in college at Boulder at C Boulder. You know, she was just so lost. And I remember about a year or so after mom passed, she started doing therapy and she came over and she did Reiki and she took Reiki one and two and she decided she wanted to maybe go learn yoga. And I just happened to have money at the time. So I was like, you know, I'll pay for you to go. And same as like your story. It was like she had the paper. Right. And she had, you know, the dream of the box that we're all supposed to be, but yet she found her soul

really truly and found her calling, her passion. And she and her husband had moved away from everybody. She found her own space. That's a lot of people's story right now is that you said you checked all the boxes. A lot of people now even going to school, I've heard don't even have a box to really check. They're just like, what I want to do, there's not a box for that. And a lot of people are seeking ways to connect with themselves inward in meditation. Obviously, I feel it was like the first time I really went home to myself. Yeah. I always think about it as like, it's a vehicle to connect with your

true self. And like, to me, there's the true self or the soul, or, you know, you can, I would say insert whatever word you're comfortable with for that, that thing, that space within you. And, you know, and then at least from my experience, then there's the self that shows up like in everyday life. And I have this hypothesis that the secret to like really living a fulfilling and joyful life is to have the true self be the self that shows up in everyday life as well. And what holds us back and holds us down often is having a different self either by choice or by necessity show up than like the us that's really within. And I think that we're taught as we age, unless we're taught these tools to be able to continually stay

connected. Like I look at my son who's two and he's still very, you know, for better or for worse, he is still very connected to his true self. But I know, you know, once he starts going to school, once he starts making friends, once he gets older, he has to make some bigger decisions. I think we're conditioned to sometimes if the true self or the soul doesn't align with what the greater society thinks it should be, that we get encouraged to start stepping away from it. And we need to have these tools in our toolbox to either stay connected or in, you know, I'll say our case, people who are, you know, I don't know, 25 and above, we often find ourselves very disconnected and we have to reconnect.

And I found that that's a commonality in a lot of people's stories is that they feel like I've done all these things. I've checked all these boxes. Like, I don't even know who I am or like, I'm not even connected to like who I am. It's kind of like I got here, but I don't recognize who's here and it feels really empty and it feels really scary. Like I joke, like if you ever want to crash course and connecting to the true self, like do something that no one else believes in or do something that everyone else thinks is silly. Like for me, that was becoming a yoga teacher and a meditation teacher when everyone thought that was such a waste of,

you know, that piece of paper that I earned and nothing will give you a crash course and connecting to the true self than going against the grain because you only have that kind of internal compass at that time to help direct you. But for me, that's one of the most magical pieces of meditation and also yoga, Nidra, other introspective practices is giving you that line of communication between the outward self and the inward self. Oh, and that's so fun too. There's so many different kinds of meditations. I mean, I remember, you know, beginning, I'll be honest with you, because I was still very connected to my religion. You know, my parents were Catholic, I was very Christian. And so I literally was looking for meditations that had God in it, that had, you know, something safe for me,

because I felt it wasn't safe, right? Which is so silly. I mean, today there's even some churches that have meditation. That's amazing. And I do believe that Jesus probably spent much of his life in meditation. Yeah, I would agree with that. Yeah. And I also needed something to guide me because I wasn't at the place where I could just be. And so that was very helpful. And I felt like I had to trick myself. I did a lot of nighttime meditation, which some people say that, you know, I've heard before from some people that, you know, you shouldn't meditate at night.

Well, maybe not just meditate at night. However, at first, that's what I did do do because that was the only time that I had peace. Put all my kids to sleep. You know, this at night was like my ritual to do something for myself. Unfortunately, that was all I had then. Then that turned into, I wanted to add it to the morning. And that became, if I don't get that, I feel like I am cheated. It's like not brushing your teeth. Yeah. Yeah. Or not having coffee in the morning for me too. Unfortunately, that's

another ritual of mine. I love a morning coffee. I also think it's my firm belief. The best time to meditate is the time that works for you because you're much more likely to stick with it. The, you should only meditate in the morning thing, in my opinion, is someone else's opinion that has been perpetuated. I think that, you know, just like movement or exercise or eating well, like however you're going to stick to it, which usually means, it's going to be realistic and convenient. That I think is the best way to do it. Because if you try to stuff yourself into this box and say, oh, well, you have to meditate for 30 minutes every day and sit there and chant, if that's not going to work for you, you're not going to stick with it. And then you're not going to get

the benefits. And so my opinion is that that is just someone's opinion that's been perpetuated because there's no scientific research that says there's any additional benefit to meditating at different times of the day in terms of how it impacts our brain, how it impacts our nervous system, whatever time. And like for a lot of moms, I know nap time is their time to meditate, you know, middle of the day, like whatever works for you. Like that's beautiful. If you, if it's going to set you up for success, the important piece is that you're adding this micro habit to your day. And the rest is just kind of the details that you can get tripped up on. And, you know, another thing is when I was meditating at night, I was sleeping better,

like way better than I ever had in my life. I mean, I feel like prior to that, I can never remember when I didn't have some sort of insomnia, even as a child. So here I was sleeping better. And of course, sleep is so important. So I'm feeling better physically. My brain's actually working better. The ADHD doesn't seem as much of an issue because I'm actually getting sleep. And I'm also during meditation, getting deep enough that my brain's actually producing the same chemicals here I'm taking in pill form. Yeah, that's so interesting. And a really cool thing happens in your brain after regular meditation, usually about after eight to 12 weeks of it is that the prefrontal cortex, which is the part like right

behind your forehead, that's in charge of like a lot of emotion regulation and memory and higher cognitive function that begins to grow in size. It becomes bigger and denser. I mean, you get more of those little wrinkles and then your amygdala, which is mainly in charge of pain, worry, and fear begins to shrink and become less active. So you're actually rewiring your brain to have smaller physiological responses to anxiety and fear triggers and a greater ability to concentrate and control your emotions, which is part of the reason why people like I hear this one all the time, but people say like after they meditate, they didn't have as bad of road rage. And I think it's because, well, one, I know neurologically, like that's prefrontal cortex work of like not having those really big highs and lows kind of studying it out. But I think something like road rage is something that impacts us every single day. So that's one that people notice some of those changes in like sleep is another one, but they notice the changes in those little daily habits where it's like, oh, someone cut me off

today. And like, I really didn't care that much. Or like before I started meditating, you know, it would have ruined my whole day. It would have sent me into tizzy. And so it's, it's really kind of interesting how the brain gets rewired with meditation. And we see that change in like our little daily habits and routines. Yeah, so true. And you also, I, for the first time in my life, I learned how to breathe. That was another thing, you know, we're not taught to breathe and just getting enough oxygen every day from your deep breath. And it gives you this pause and grounds you. Yeah. You know, it is like breath. I feel like it's just, I mean, it's not only the backbone of life,

but the reason, at least my understanding, and I'm sure you heard about this in Reiki training too, but like the breath is like the vehicle to the energetic highway that runs within us. And so like in yoga Nidra, there's, we talk about the different koshas, the different layers of our being. The first one is like the physical body, but the second one is the energetic body and its language is the language of the breath. So that's like in yoga world, we call it the naughties, N-A-D-I, not like you're so naughty, but that also includes like the chakra system. It includes kind of this energetic highway that's within us and the way that we move energy and life force through us is breath. But we are so disconnected to our breath all the time.

And it's wild until we like relearn how to breathe. And then there's so many different types of breathing. That's another thing, you know, some are more powerful than other and really kind of get your fire going within you. And some are just to help relax and your body and muscles relax. Breath is just so important throughout my day. I have to intentionally take that deep breath and just let it all go. Yes. Or even just tune in and recognize like, oh my gosh, I'm hardly breathing or I'm holding my breath. Like it gives you so much information about what's going on within you and around you just by being like,

what's my breath doing right now? Yeah. I always tell people, you know, when they're, if they're looking at themselves in the mirror and they take a deep breath and when they release, you can see your shoulders fall. Like you can physically see it. You know, we go around all tense talking about road rage. I mean, even without road rage, you're tense in your car and traffic or, you know, watching television or whatever it is. And those poor muscles all day long staying in that state. That's why people have so much pain. So I'm also a body worker. Hey listeners, sorry for the interruption, but I wanted to let you know about Sons of Souls Spring Book Club, which is starting Sunday, April 16th. We will be reading The God Solution, The Power of Pure Love by Neil Donald Walsh, who inspired millions. The book series Conversations with God and the God

Solution is his latest book. The book club will be meeting via Zoom beginning Sunday, April 16th at 5 p.m. Mountain Time and every other Sunday until May 28th. You can join for only $5 on Sense of Soul Patreon and you will also get free episodes, merch, and much more. And then in June, I'll be interviewing Mr. Neil Donald Walsh on Sense of Soul Podcast. You can also learn more at mysenseofsoul.com. I hope that you join. It's a great way for me to interact and get to know all of you. Hope to see you soon. Now back to our amazing guest. What is your favorite type of meditation? What's your vibe? So I actually like to do a lot of a little, meaning I like to study a bunch of different

styles of meditation and pull elements from different styles based on what I need that day. A few of my favorites is something called TWIM, which is a kind of loving kindness meditation. It stands for tranquil wisdom insight meditation. I enjoy present moment meditation, which often includes things like census cycling or letting yourself just witness and observe. And I do really like visualizations, which is kind of what leads me to then writing and creating a lot of guided meditations and visualizations for others. Anytime I'm visualizing a thing, that really helps me to kind of stay on track and to stay present.

And it allows me to work with something very specific. So I like to check in and kind of ask, what do I need today? And then based on the knowledge, different styles that I have pull elements based on what seems like the best fit for that thing. Me too. That's exactly. And I've always encouraged, you know, when people have stuff going on, it's like, you know, I'm sure there's a good meditation for that. Just look at it, you know, look it up for myself, the visualizations, because we all receive different, you know, some people are like, I can't meditate. What do you say to people who, who struggle?

So I say a few things. One, I usually inquire a little bit deeper. So when people hear I'm a meditation teacher, they're like, Oh my gosh, that's so cool. I could never meditate. Or usually what they tell me is, Oh, I tried that once. It was a disaster. I'll never do it again. Yeah. And usually what I say to that is I just inquire a little deeper. I'm like, oh my gosh, that's so interesting. Like, tell me more about, about that first experience that you had. And it usually boils down to a few different things. One, we have so many preconceived notions about what meditation is.

So you have to sit crisscross applesauce. You have to meditate for 30 to 60 minutes. You have to sit there and turn off your mind. It has to be done in the morning. Like we are kind of fed these myths about meditation. And if we don't know what it is, which is just single pointed concentration. So taking all of your mental power and focusing it on one thing. So usually it's, you know, people have already opted themselves out before they've tried

it because they've heard one of these myths and been like, well, I'd never have 60 minutes every day. And I'm like, well, me either. And this is literally my job. Or they tried one really specific style and didn't realize that there's so many different styles, just like with yoga, right? There's so many different styles of yoga or movement, or even ways that you can eat like different people need different things. Our internal chemistry is all a little bit different. So maybe they tried a very specific style that wasn't the right one for them, or they didn't resonate with the teacher. So things like, you know, what style the teacher's doing, but a lot of it comes down to like voice. If the voice isn't right for a meditation and

believe me, having a meditation podcast, you hear a lot about your voice, both good and bad. And it's interesting because, you know, there's some people that will be like, oh my gosh, I love your voice. And then some people that's like, I can't listen for more than one minute. Like it's like nails on a chalkboard and it's just such a personal preference and, but voice and like style, like the actual teacher's like vibe is a thing too, where they're like, you know, people will download a meditation app and there's lots of really great ones out there, but they'll try one. And whoever that teacher is, they're like, Oh, I didn't like that. And we just assume like, that's what meditation is. But I firmly believe that like, there's a teacher for every student and a student for every teacher, but not every teacher is for

every student and vice versa. So that's what I find. So usually I just inquire, it's almost always one of those three or the fourth one is it's against my religion, which I love that question too. Like when I moved to a one bar, one Walmart town in Missouri, I got that question a lot. Is yoga against my religion? Is meditation against my religion? Do you have to teach in Sanskrit? Which I know I teach in common English now. And, you know, having that conversation around what meditation in particular actually is and, you know, being like, here are the origins of it. This is what it is. This is the power of intention. Like you get to decide what you do with it and kind of just give them the facts and let

them decide if that feels like it aligns with them or not. But anytime someone tells you they can't meditate or they tried it once, I just become very inquisitive. It's almost always one of those four things. Yeah. What's your experience? I also think that what, like what they're using for sound and background could also be something that's triggering. Some people can't do binaural

beats or I'm a big Russia fan, which is like scalar energy waves. And I do it like twice a month and I love it. But some people will get on like, ah, you know, that's terrible. Like some people can't do silence. They get uncomfortable without. Yeah, it's definitely like a vibe thing. When I first started, I found someone and they had an English accent and I loved it. I love the English accent. I still love the English accent. Yeah. You do find yourself being able to be calm with a certain voice tone. I think all that matters. And I think, like you said, it's an individual thing. I have also learned that in my, over the years of Reiki as it evolved, that I had to get my clients down to that beta brainwave

as close as I could. So they would receive rather than, you know, be thinking or putting out their own thoughts. And so I always have walked my clients through meditation prior to Reiki. And that evolved. So because I am a very visual person, I started to just tell them what I was seeing as I would bring them through. And after hundreds of clients, it started to be very obvious that I kept bringing these people back to like their unique space. That was very unique just to them. And every time, I mean, I didn't consciously do it. So it was like very interesting. I started to notice you only go to this place. Like I've never been there with anybody else. And, and so I started doing the art for them as well to show

them if they couldn't see what I saw, which a lot of times they would see what I saw. So that evolved in, in one of my listeners, actually who client who friend, but she she she helped me name it soul immersion sessions and so it's something that just evolved but I'm a very visual person so I do enjoy finding a topic that someone can help me get there guide me but I don't need that anymore I think that it's amazing that mudras is that what they're called the mudras with the hands can actually help you help your brain. Like, okay, that's it. We're doing it. It just is an automatic thing for me now.

And if my fall show, I mean, because I do it so much because I've taught so much Reiki that now as soon as those thumbs come to my heart and prayer position, it's like my body tells my brain. All right, we're leaving. Yep. Yeah. That's amazing. It is. It's very, very cool. And it's cool what little signals from the body, like how connected the body and the mind are and how little signals like, that's just, and that's like what habits are, right? They say habits are just basically like trigger reaction reward in a way. And like reward doesn't always have to be necessary. Like, you know, it's like, you know, trigger action outcome. And so whether it's a certain hand position, like that's the, you know, trigger to then do yes, to then do the thing that then gives you this outcome. It also can be your morning coffee. Your alarm goes off in the morning. You immediately make a cup of coffee. This is the action. And then you're drinking your coffee and you start waking up. Like that's, it's, that's just what habit is. And, and there's so much like muscle memory in that. And we are truly like, can be creatures of habit, even in Reiki or

meditation, or there's a familiarity there and have it. Yeah. I love that. And actually when I first started meditating, when I was trying to make a morning routine for it, I was like trying to plan my day. And like I told you, I had a kid, a puppy, and I didn't have a lot of time. I had three kids in three different schools. Oh my gosh. That was wild. This is why I needed to meditate though, right? This is why I spent a lot of time in the car. Yes. Which is meditative. It can be. And then you're like, how did I get here? But I wanted to add it to my morning. Cause I saw that it was benefiting me so much at night. And so I wanted to add it. I said, what will happen if I add it to the beginning of my day before I do all this craziness? And then I, you know, I, I have like these friends

that would call me and God bless them. They might be listening. I love them. However, it was a habit or a routine that they would call me in the morning. I would listen to all about their lives, about their problems, their boyfriends. And I'd give them all this great advice. And they'd be good for like a few days. And they'd be like, Oh, this is what I'm going to do. And then they'd come back a few days later to get more. And I realized I was like a human fuel pump. They were filling up for me. They were good for a few days. And then when they ran out, they would come back to me. And then finally, here I am trying to find a time for my meditation. I was like, you know what? I need this time. I need to take back my time. So I, and I remember like having the courage to finally say to somebody, you know what? I need this time. Cause I'm going

to start meditating. It's not because I don't love you or care about you, but I need this time. That was so big for me because I'd never, I had always been the yes person. So I made that time. So not only was it the fact that I, I loved myself for the first time enough to give myself that space to do something for myself. But then I also in the same blessed them with the fact that they had to figure out how to fill themselves up. I always think back upon that time. I figure out how to fill themselves up. I always think back

upon that time. I mean, I can almost smell it because it was such a pivotal point in my life. Yeah. Yeah. And that's so interesting. And I mean, it's true. It's like, sometimes it can feel selfish, like carving out that time for you. Like, well, who am I to like, you know, it feels like we're taking this time from someone or something else and selfishly giving it to ourselves. But, you know, I think of like our existence as kind of being like a pizza, like it's a finite thing and you have different people, different things in your life that, you know, are hungry and eat this pizza, whether it be kids and work and family and all this stuff. And if you aren't careful, like if you don't eat first every day, it's the end of the day and there's none left for

you and you go hungry and everyone else just is eating that pizza. And what we have to give is finite. It is not infinite. Even if we like to believe it's infinite or that we, you know, sometimes trick ourselves into thinking, oh, we'll just, you know, I'll just get more somewhere else. But like what we have to give in a day and to give to others and ourselves, it's finite. And I think we have to recognize that and you have to be constantly replenishing or you'll go empty. And I remember also people telling me, be careful, be careful. What were they worried about? Oh, they were worried that I was going to go to hell, you know, for being peaceful with myself. Oh, if people don't think you're going to hell, you really live in life. I don't know. I just thought to myself, well, if it was dangerous,

and why does it feel so good? And why is my life actually improving? Why is my anxiety going away? And I was able to compartmentalize my thoughts I was able to be present with my children and bring kids to three different schools and practices afterwards and carrying around a baby and having a puppy and I was able to do all those things without losing my shit you know I had control for the time. I wouldn't be where I am today had I not made that decision to make that space for myself. So what does your meditation practice look like now? What's your routine in this stage of life? I feel very fortunate. So it's, I guess, because I teach Reiki all the time and I do circles. And

so I'm able to be in it a lot. Yeah. But I would say, even if it's not like, I don't have to listen to something most mornings, if it's not freezing outside, my favorite thing to do is when I have to bring the dogs outside, you know, even if it's just five minutes, you know, I just like to feel the sun on me. And I just kind of just be with nature. It's more of a mindfulness meditation. It's not so much the same thing anymore. It's throughout the day. It's sometimes in the car, just waiting for my kid to get out of school. And I'm just sitting in my car and just listening to a mantra or, you know, or sometimes it's Stevie Nicks or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Listening to stuff still at night before I go to bed. Mandy had bought me those meditation nighttime, very soft, like a headband.

Yeah, I put them over my eyes. And oftentimes, you know, that's how I fall asleep. Cool. Yeah. Awesome. I love that. Well, I'm in a more chaotic time of life. Yeah.

Having a toddler and, you know, running a business and also being, you know, primary parents and all of that. So mine very much looks like, like 10 minutes when I can fit it in, which is usually either the first 10 minutes of the day, the last 10 minutes of the day, like if I wake up a little bit before my son, or, you know, when I get to bed, just kind of taking that time to unwind before I go to sleep. So I kind of fit it in where I can my actual practice. And it's so funny, because, you know, I teach meditation all day long, I write meditations, record meditations, I write books about meditation all day long. And, you know, for me, like just carving out those 10 minutes is what is realistic and doable at this stage of life. And so that's what

I do. And I, and I feel good about it and it works for me. Yeah. I love it. Yes. And, you know, I think everyone that's listening should really, really hear that because you don't have to have your altar and all the things, um, the drums or the chimes or whatever. You could just be, you know, just look at that. It can be whatever you need. And we need to not let meditation be a thing that we either beat ourselves up about or feel like, well, it's another thing I have to do or, you know, feel shame around. Like I have no shame around being a meditation teacher and I fit in 10 minutes a day. I feel fine with that. It works for me. Studies tell us that's enough. And so that's

it. So that's, that's what works for me. And it's really, you know, it's not that serious, which is something that I love about meditation. It can be whatever you need it to be. Yeah. And you know what, sometimes when you're going through a harder time or you're trying to maybe stay away from the stress of the news or the world, you may find yourself. I mean, I have found myself and I know other people. I just had someone yesterday say meditation has been a savior for me lately. I've really been meditating a lot. Yeah, I get it. You know, I've watched the news or talked to anybody about any of these, you know, worldly things that are happening. It puts me into that fight or

flight that I'm freaking out. And yeah, I want to go inward, you know, and I want to, I want to go sometimes it's like, I want to go on vacation and get away from all of this. Yeah. That's been, I think the biggest thing is finding a balance though, because I know that I meditated a lot back then. And sometimes I felt like it was almost like too much. It's like, I was using it as to escape. You know, my kids were like, Hey, you're going to make dinner. Where are you? Like detachment became escapism. I'm in Asia. I'm in Bali right now.

Yes. So I know that you're writing a book. Have you, have you already finished your book? Yeah. So I have a series coming out, but the first one is done. It's available for pre-order now it's called mindful minutes, modern families guide to meditation. So yeah, so it's a lot of what we talked about. It has a bunch of different topics, um, how you can incorporate different meditations at different age ranges around that topic, things like self-confidence, um, insomnia, anxiety, self-worth. And so there's some reflections on there and then a practice for little kids, adolescents, and adults. And then there's a section on just incorporating meditation and mindfulness into your household, whatever that looks like. And then prenatal practices and partner meditations. If you are raising your family with a partner.

I love that. So that's my book, baby. Yay. I love that. That's my book baby. Yay! I'm so excited. You know, they have the meditations that actually have cuss words. They're like, fuck it. Yeah. It's so funny. And then there's so many different kinds.

But my daughter, and I kind of feel like there's a need for more of these. So maybe a hint, hint, maybe you could produce some more. But for children, I remember back in the day, and I haven't in a while, but I'd look up like kid meditations and me and Kenzie would lay down in bed. And they were stories and they're beautiful, like fairytale, like stories that would lead you into it. And I thought that it was so fun, but it was, it was like one lady and she was, she sounded like mother goose. And, and I just, it was one option. There wasn't a whole lot to choose from. I don't know if there's more to choose from now. Yeah. And something that I tried to do with this book is like these different practices, especially the ones for younger children, is that it gives instructions for like how you can lead your kids through it. Because I think sometimes it's special and more meaningful. Like you guys can do it together either by listening to something if you want, but like having you be the teacher and the model in a way where it's like, oh, we can go do these things together. Like there's one where it's, you know, an intentional kind of mindful

walk where it's like, we can go outside and we can, you know, pay attention to all the colors we see and the textures that we feel and the sounds that we hear. And often as the parent, you have the opportunity to be your child's best teacher just by leading by example and showing how to prioritize these types of, of things. And so I think that also, you know, whether it's laying in bed together and listening to, you know, a mother goose type person lead a meditation, or if it's like, Hey, let's do this mindful activity together. You know, why don't we just go outside and just pay attention to the sounds that we hear and talk about it? Like we can lead by example as parents for our children in terms of mindfulness and meditation and how you prioritize that and what it looks like.

Wow. You know, she kind of sounded like Miss Doubtfire. That sounds kind of awesome though. Like my daughter's 11. She's starting to get a little tiny bit of acne, a little bit, just tiny every once in a while. You know, she started going to middle school next year. Yeah. You know, and if I looked for a meditation for her right now, something to connect with her and her age group, I see the need, right? Cause she's not going to want to listen to the little kid stuff. She's not going to want to listen to something for adults. Yeah. And I really wanted to make sure that that like adolescence was captured in this book, because I do feel that

it's very underserved. I think there are some great fun things for little kids. I think, you know, kids, you know, kids like teens comprehend so much more than we think. And so they often can do the adult practices, you know, no problem. But I do think that that kind of adolescence that in between not a little kid, but not a young adult yet, it's very much kind of a missed space in childhood. And it's also very, yes, it's a very chaotic, it's a very messy, it's a very confusing time. Or even like the seventh grade, aren't we all just formed by our seventh grade trauma? Well, if you think about it, I wonder if everyone got that at that age. I mean, how amazing, you know, like, you know,

as an adult or when you're going through, you know, I want to be big, but yet I'm still relying on my parents' face. Yeah. Yeah. This is so important. I'm so glad that you wrote a book about this and for everybody, right. Not just for the yogis or, you know, the woo people, you know, for everyday people, everyday people. Yeah. I appreciate that. I'll make sure you and your daughter get a copy. You guys can tell me what you think. I really, truly would love that. And she would appreciate it too. Well, and she had such a great mom that could teach her these things at a young age, because you just, you're already aware of it. Like, I'm sure my mom would have taught me this stuff if she knew how to do it. And like you said, like

you do the things that like you wish you would have had, like this book is like what I wish, you know, if I wasn't a mom that was also a meditation teacher. Like I would love to be able to have this tool in my toolbox as I try to raise children for both myself and for them. And like, if I didn't know where to start, or, you know, there are a lot of question marks, like I would want something like this, that would just kind of make it easy, which is always my hope is that it's, you know, easy and approachable. Meditation is really not as complex and serious as we make it seem. It's much more simple. Yeah. And guess what? I know that for myself, I was a much better mother once I started to make that space for me.

Me too. And I can tell when I'm not, I get very, just very reactive. Always. Or I get pain. Yeah. I mean, I literally, my body will scream at me or I'll get headaches or whatever it is. Get snappy. Yeah. Oh, we all have our thing, you know, the nighttime meditation is such a beautiful thing. I was so glad that I found it on your website. So just tell everybody about your website.

Sure. So my business is called Yoga For You. So my website everybody about your website. Sure. So my business is called yoga for you. Um, so my website is yoga for you online.com. And then I have two podcasts that are meditation podcasts. One is called mindful in minutes. It is a collection. I've been doing it for five years. So there's over 300 practices over there. And they're mostly all less than 20 minutes with all sorts of different topics. So all are welcome there. Come as you are. You can see if it's for you. And then I have a secondary podcast called Meditation Mama, which are guided meditations for fertility, prenatal and postnatal. So if you find yourself in that very specific period in life, I would love to see you over there to help support

that season that you're currently in. That's awesome. Then your new book's coming out. My new book is coming out. So it's available for pre-order now. It'll be in your hands on September 5th. So anyone who pre-orders, I'm putting together some fun little things for people who pre-order. So you'll be getting some extra bonuses and content and bonus chapters and things like that. So when I do pre-orders, just save your pre-order number and you'll get some extra little fun goodies. That's so exciting. Well, I just think you're amazing. Oh, I appreciate that. What a fun conversation. It's always so nice to get to connect with the

fellow mother and mindful and just have a good chat. It's a very special thing. So I appreciate you carving out this time for me. And now it's time to break that shit down. I would say that just recognizing whatever you're doing, you're doing enough and that you are fine with what you're doing. And we're all on a journey and it's all a process. And if we could just all make a conscious effort today to be a little bit gentler with ourselves,

because really we're all doing the best that we can. And that is enough. I love that. That was such a big one for me that I still have to tell myself you are enough. Yeah, me too. That's why it comes to mind. It's a reminder for myself as well.

It's a good one. Well, thanks, Kelly. It was so nice to meet you. Oh, thank you so much for having me. I hope we connect again soon. Yeah, I would like that. All right. Thanks.

Thank you. You too. Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast. And thanks to our special guests for joining me. If you want more of Sense of Soul, check out my website at www.mysenseofsoul.com, where you can work with me one-on-one or help support Sense of Soul Podcast

by donating to my coffee fund. Thanks for listening.