Sense of Soul - Mother Goddess to Crone Goddess

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Today on Sense of Soul podcast we have on once again Kerri Hummingbird Medicine Woman, Mother and Mentor, is the Founder of Inner Medicine Training, a Mystery School that shares potent ancient traditions from the Andes and Himalayas for owning your wisdom and living your purpose. She is the #1 international best-selling author of “Inner Medicine: Becoming One with Mother Earth for the Survival of Humanity”, “The Second Wave: Transcending the Human Drama” (int’l bestseller over 193 weeks), and “Love Is Fierce: Healing the Mother Wound” which describes the most direct path to self realization. She is the author of the award-winning best-selling book “Awakening To Me: One Woman’s Journey To Self Love” which describes the early years of her spiritual awakening. As the host of Soul Nectar Show, Kerri inspires people to lead their lives wide awake with an authenticity, passion and purpose that positively impacts others. As a healer and mentor, she catalyzes mind-shifts that transform life challenges into gifts of wisdom. Kerri has over 30 years of experience in leading by inspiration, and a special passion for reconnecting people to the guidance of our Mother Earth. She mentors women to rewrite the story of their lives through inner transformation, connection to essence, remembrance of purpose, and realignment to authenticity and truth. She mentors mothers to awaken the Mother Goddess within and guide their Unicorn children to birth a New Earth. She is a Chakaruna (teacher) in the Andean tradition from Peru, and initiates spiritual seekers as Mesa Carriers to become Earth Keepers. Visit Kerri’s website, check out her show and follow her journey on her social media! https://kerrihummingbird.com WOW Kerri is offering Sense of Soul Listeners this AMAZING DEAL!! ONLY $177.00!! Sense of Soul Package: 30 minute shamanic healing with Kerri to clear karma and stick energies, heal traumas and ancestral patterns, and fill up with light. 4-part mini course Sacred Living with the Four Directions to connect with the South, West, North and East and have a direct experience of these conscious beings. SIGN UP HERE 


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Hello, my soul-seeking friends. It's Shanna. Thank you so much for listening to Sense of Soul podcast. Enlightening conversations with like-minded souls from around the world, sharing their journey of finding their light within, turning pain into purpose, and awakening to their true sense of soul. If you like what you hear, show me some love and rate, like, and subscribe. And consider becoming a Sense of Soul Patreon member, where you will get ad-free episodes, monthly circles, and much more. Now go grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Today, our amazing guest has been on Sense of Soul before, Carrie Hummingbird. She's a medicine woman, a mother, a mentor, and is the founder of the Inner Medicine Training,

a mystery school that shares potent ancient traditions for owning your wisdom and living your purpose. She is also a number one bestselling international author and the host of her own podcast called Soul Nectar Show. She is also part of Sense of Soul Lightworkers Affiliates Program and is offering Sense of Soul listeners an amazing package. And she's joining us today to tell us about her latest book, Inner Medicine, Becoming One with Mother Earth for the Survival of Humanity. Thanks so much for coming on Sense of Soul again. It's a pleasure to have you. I'm delighted to be back, Shanna. It's good to see you again and to be back in presence and to connect with you and to feel your energy. And this is what I love about transformation work,

because I know that you're completely into transformation work as well, is that when we see each other again, it's been like several years, you can tell the work the other person's been doing. It's like you can feel the change in them. Isn't that exciting? It is. Yes. So true. And so much has changed since we've had you on. So yeah. And so much has changed with you too. You have a new book coming out you you've wrote two books since we've seen you since the last book the second wave yeah i wrote um the second wave book i think i talked with you guys about here and then love is fierce healing the mother wound was a a three-year project of a lot of medicine ceremony working to heal my mother wound with my mom and

then also my mother wound as a mom you know the places that I wouldn't stand up the places that I was you know kind of being poked at and bullied and I was being asked to stand up in my power and finally did it but that book was tough you know it's a tough book to write and now I've got inner medicine becoming one with Mother Earth for the survival of humanity. And when I got the title in my meditation, I was like, that seems so dramatic. But that is actually what's going on. It's just that most of us, you know, are like, don't look up. That movie, Don't Look Up.

They're like, oh, don't look up. Don't look up. We don't want to know that's going to happen. We need to look up. We need to actually look at it and face it and bring our brilliance to it, you know, connect with Mother Earth and wake up that part of us that is brilliant and wise and eternal and timeless and knows the answers to things, the one that can access those Akashic records, the one that can access the other lifetimes on other planets and the solutions

that we have for these kind of modern day crisis we're in right now on this planet. We need to wake up that one. And so, of course, we're too busy to do it. It's like, there's really nothing that has changed my life more than earth medicine, than learning how to connect with mother earth, ground myself, get still, listen to her wisdom. And then this is what I've been sharing in a lot of places. And I really think that this was a huge epiphany for me. So I hope it's an epiphany for anybody listening is that Mother Earth is our body. Our body is Mother Earth. It's made of Mother Earth. And Mother Earth is conscious. She's not just a thing. So that means that you're in Mother Earth consciousness inside your body which means that all the things your body is telling you is actually Mother Earth telling you as your primary teacher for

this incarnation and when I realized that it was like so like all the things I have in my body and sometimes even the little nudgy voices and even like the aches and pains or the different things. Oh, that's her speaking to me. That's her squeezing that part of my body into a little piece of pain right now because I'm not listening. Oh, okay. Okay. So when I started realizing that, it really helped me out. And yeah, but I wasn't always this aware.

Let's just say that. I mean, you can find so much wisdom just being outside, right? Just grounding yourself in the trees and the birds and in ancestors, you know, there's so much step to connecting with mother earth. Also the divine feminine,

which my listeners know that's been my journey over the past two years. But I know, like you said, you weren't always like this. So what led you to connect with this primal part of us? That is a really interesting question. And the way that you just said primal tells me I need to start the story back a hot minute where I realized and discovered my primal power through orgasm. And I had never had orgasm before until 38. And I know that sounds like, gosh, that's a long time. How would you, how did you live without that?

Very tensely, very tensely and very uncomfortably and very like swings of depression and a lot of things. Right. And like many women, I didn't understand my body and I wasn't comfortable with my body. I shamed my body. I was just basically uncomfortable with being a woman. You know, I wasn't comfortable with my breasts when I started getting them in fifth grade. I was super uncomfortable. I was like crossing my arms

and like not wanting anyone to look at me and like just like, you know, like in fifth grade in my seat and just like, ew, like what is happening to me? And, you know, just that whole thing, right? And didn't really have anyone who was willing to give me information about it, right? And flash forward to 38, I had learned how to disconnect from myself in order to cope, right? I had learned how to have like really hot, heated, fast sex just to get it over with. I experienced what many women do when they're, you know, having to give it to their husband because it's some kind of obligation or duty because you're supposed to. And he's the only person you can.

If you don't want him wandering and you want him to stay, well, then you better put out. And I was like in that paradigm. And I really hated that I was giving into that. I was deeply angry with myself for violating myself because there's a lot of times I wasn't open to that and I actually had a lot of healing that I needed to do in myself. The interesting thing is now that I'm exploring this book called Pussy by Mama Gina, I mean, honestly, I was like, this is the journey I've been on. I'm reading her book and I'm like, this is the journey I've been on. I'm reading her chapter, her book. And I'm like, this is exactly what I went through. This is exactly what I realized. Oh my gosh, that's what happened to me. And, and what I'm realizing is like, I came into my power the moment I had

an orgasm, the moment I actually got friendly with my body and I experienced that, it was like, pussy, don't play that. You know, like I am done with that. Okay. Pussy, don't play that. She says no. And I got more into this space of like, this is what I want. This is what I don't want. I want more of this feeling. I don't want any of that. I'm sick of that. That pisses me off. I want this. And so I started getting clear, right? Which was a problem in my marriage because before I had just taken it, right? I had just gone along. I suppressed my anger, had suppressed the way I actually felt about things. I bought into the thing that said I was the problem in the relationship and it was all

my fault. I was the one going to psychotherapy. He didn't go. It was me taking on that the relationship problems were all my fault. Okay. So after 20 years of that, and then awakening my power, and I went, that is a bunch of BS and I'm done. I'm out of here. Okay. I am done being a scapegoat. I'm done taking it all on as if it's my fault. I'm done being labeled in because I was labeled and diagnosed, you know, of course, I was given the not feeling pills because women should

just be polite, pretty and pleasing. And if you can't be that, then take a pill and get a diagnosis and put you in a shame cave on your mind now, because you're obviously crazy, there's something wrong with you. And you need to be diagnosed and get back in your place, woman. And as you can tell, I have some fire on that. So I, you know, a lifetime of that. So I've got a lot of beef with the medical, Western medical system that is just playing into this whole misogynistic, caging women thing that they don't even maybe see that that's what's going on. But rage is a thing and it has a place.

Rage and anger have a place. And it's called, you're violating my boundaries. This is out of right relationship. My body is on fire telling me this is wrong and I need to speak up and advocate for myself and my kids. And that's what I did. And that's what tore my marriage down. But it was either that or suppress all my feelings and die, right? Want

to commit suicide. So one or the other, I chose to live and fight. That's me. You know, it reminds me of the story of Lilith. Like right now, I'm writing a book on Sophia and Lilith has been coming up a lot. And that's exactly like, it's almost like you found your Lilith. She refused to submit, you know, and just be beneath. She wanted equality. That's her story. And it's like, where did these stories go? You know, why were they so hidden?

You know, why didn't we grow up with this told to us by the women before us? Well, because I think for thousands of years they've been suppressed you know hidden buried in the nagamati wherever but it's rising now you know with women like you and with the woman who wrote the pussy book when i'm talking to women like you and you're sharing your story like that i can't like this fire inside of me so i know in me right so in that it's in mother earth as well right all this destruction around the world earthquakes and hurricanes you know you just wonder if she's just if she's shaking and just wanting to be heard yeah i think there's something to that i mean let's just say

this is what came out in the love is fierce book a year uh several years ago in 2021 i released that book and i worked with white buffalo calf women for that work and for those of you maybe don't know the story of white buffalo calf woman is that she was bringing some teachings to the Lakota people their two scouts came to meet her and one scout decided that he thought she'd be really good to like conquer, you know, and violate. And she basically reduced him to ash, like that. And then the other scout was afraid of her because he's like, oh, I don't want to be reduced to ash. And she said, you don't have to worry because your intentions are pure. And as long as you keep it that way, we're fine. So, I mean, whether it was White Buffalo Calf Woman that came to me,

or in my mind, what I felt was a Hindu goddess, Kalima, which I didn't know anything about Kalima at the time. Right. I heard Shiva and Kalima. And that was the I was like, everything needs to be destroyed right now. That was a state of mind I was in. And just like a couple weeks ago, I saw my brother for Easter. We went to dinner as a family. And I said, well, I just burned the whole forest down. And he said, you were very effective at it.

I destroyed the whole thing. I just, you know. And so the aftermath of that is some hurt feelings, right? Because I stopped playing pretty, pleasing, and polite. And I said, this is messed up and stopped doing it. And then when he wouldn't stop doing it, I went to my audience and I said, this is messed up. He needs to stop doing this. So I had power finally. This was when I first got my voice and I first got my power. And I started using that power and I started realizing, oh, I can affect change.

Okay. And then I had to start taking that really good, integrous look at myself of where I'm going to use my voice. You know, so I think women are in that spot right now. It's like, we need to speak up. We need to say no. We need a challenge. And we need to look at also, are we man bashing?

Are we, you know, what's our shadow? Which shadow is ancestral that wants to come through us that is a reaction to the current circumstances, but is like a bigger reaction because there's this pent up rage that has never been allowed to be expressed fully that is ancestral, that lives on in our bodies because we have ancestral DNA. And so we need to let ourselves be provoked in that so we can access it. And then we need really healthy tools for releasing it so we can come into homeostasis with it, like an integrated self. And we got to learn how to ride that emotional wave. Those of us who are designed with an emotional wave in the human design, if you're an emotion centered person, you might not be able to speak on something until it's settled.

Like it might take you a week to settle. It might take you a month to settle. It might take you a good long time to settle before you're ready, you know, to actually speak on something. As a messenger, I needed to learn that, you know, and so there was some things I were a little out of balance for the first couple years of me using my voice but he's afraid of me now and he probably should be you know because because of all that right I mean I did a lot of damage in that way because I finally started speaking up and I wasn't gonna take it

and and I knew privately he was like why does everybody like her I had all these these fans, you know, like, yeah, that's right. Say it sister. Like people were like, I'm going through the same thing, you know? And they were like, everybody loves her. What the hell? She's doing this. It's not fair. And then they were the ones without the voices. It's like, okay, so we all need to have a voice. You know, we all need to have a voice you know we all need to have a voice and we all need to be treated with respect and my first teacher heather my first feminine teacher heather ashimara taught me she teaches warrior goddess stuff she's like when women start using their voices at first isn't very elegant and that was me it was messy me too i was angry right it's It's like, okay. But it was like that rage you talked about, which, you know, you can also say, you know, that's what many people who have been dealing

with racial issues, you know, people have genders and, you know, this whole thing with equality. And that's what my thing is, is I'm not trying to be like, hear my voice, hear me roar, and you don't get one. I just want to be heard, right? I just want us to be able to be equal and, you know, respectful with each other. But I did the same, Carrie. In fact, when I had gone through my ancestral journey, not only did I find out that my great grandma had passed as white, but also learning about the women in the French Creole. I mean, they weren't even allowed to marry someone outside of their race. It was so shocking, and I was angry. And then finally, after I really truly went to the depths with my ancestors, like one after another,

I mean, they stood in a mile long line to be heard. They wanted their stories to be known and told. And I did. And then it was like, this peace came over me and the only thing left was the strength from them. Yeah. A lot of our ancestors did that.

Also, my, my ancestor did that too. It was Cherokee and could pass for white. I mean, I see a picture of our ancestors did that. Also, my ancestor did that too, was Cherokee, and could pass for white. I mean, I see a picture of her, and we have pictures of her, and it's like this woman is Cherokee full-blooded, you know, like you can look at her and say, she's Cherokee full-blooded. But because she put the W in the column, now I'm not acknowledged as being Cherokee. We've had this really big exploration in humanity, right? About

the color ladder and status and people being above you forever because of the color of your skin and the right to enslave people, war, and all of this comes from a closed heart and separation. It comes from a mind construct that closes the heart and closes compassion and causes separation and then creates the other. And then in the other, we can do a lot of things to the other. So inner medicine is about, okay, now at the turn of the age, we come back together with an indigenous understanding of ourselves as all one. We are one with all of our relations. We are one with the planet. We are one with each other.

We are one with the animals and the plants. Anything that we do to the bees is going to affect all of us, the whole food chain. We have these recognitions coming out now, but what we don't have yet is an open heart. And in order to really fully come to the embodied wisdom of this, we have to actually open our hearts and we have to lead from soul. That's why I love sense of soul. We have to lead from soul. Soul is a timeless one that lives within us. We have to lead from soul and from mama earth wisdom. We have to listen. We have to do way more listening than talking. And so it is that dichotomy, right? There's so many people that haven't been heard.

And so they want to use their voices and that's necessary. And we got to listen. So use your voice and listen both. Both things are necessary at this time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you are correct correct and i think that people should give themselves some grace because when you first start to find that fire you just it's messy you're just taking a torch you're just like you don't even care just burn the whole thing down

and that is actually part of the cycle of creation so when a forest burns down, what happens is that the pine cones and things, they release the seeds and then they go into the burnt charred soil and then it rains and then a new forest starts to grow from the ashes. That is what happened for me. So we have to sometimes burn down the old and start something new. And we do this in the larger sense already when we die at the end of a lifetime and then we're reborn into another existence. But we could do it midlife. We don't have to wait to lose our identity until the end when we leave our body.

We can actually lose our identity and our attachments and our opinions and our beliefs. We can lose that along the way and be more open to evolve within a lifetime. And that's a skill that's being practiced right now on the planet. And it, you know, it is leading to a lot of confusion. People don't know how to deal with somebody who's losing their identity. They want to put them in a mental hospital and chain them up, right? They don't know how to deal with somebody who's losing their identity. They want to put them in a mental hospital and chain them up, right? They don't understand somebody who's feeling anger because anger is not allowed in our society. So if you're feeling anger, there's something wrong with you. Meanwhile, there's something right with you because anger is the second stop towards power

matrix in the power versus force. David Hawking, I think think is the guy who wrote that book. And they have actually muscle tested the frequencies of all the different states, like from shame all the way up to enlightenment. They've tested the frequencies, muscle tested and confirmed. And so the second stop before you get to authentic power out of the fear matrix, out of the force matrix is anger. Going through anger is part of your enlightenment, is part of your process. You've got to clear the stuck energy of all the other crap with the fire of anger in order to purify, go up through pride next, and then you're encouraged because you're in true

vulnerability. You're starting to be encouraged. So this part of your awakening process to have anger have anger happen and we as a society need to have some structures to learn how to deal with that but exploring your pussy is definitely going to make you angry so i'm just saying anger is coming what's funny is that for the longest time and it hasn't in a while but you know grieving that person also you know as you're letting go and showing that old version of yourself, there's this grieving or whether it's your religion, you know, for me, my religion,

grieving it was a long process. And I just like when someone dies, I was going through all of it. It was waves. I'd get angry. I'd get sad. You know, there were all the things. Yeah. See, but what they do in our culture is they say oh well you're like emotionally unstable because you're not like a flat line you're not like you're like doing this which is kind of normal you know and you're you're instead of being the sun predictable comes up sets like the masculine you're the feminine the moon's over here the moon's over there she's half mass she's like this moon's over here. The moon's over there. She's half-masked. She's like this. She's over here.

And they don't want that. But they tried to get the feminine out the door. It's like, no, we are feminine. And if we're not embracing our cycles and our emotions and our senses and our intuition and our knowing, if we're not coming from that place, we're suppressing ourselves at this point. Yeah. And talking about our cycles, it's funny because as my youngest is about to start hers, I'm moving into my crone and owning it. I'm letting my hair go gray. I'm not resisting it. And I love it it actually because there's so much wisdom that comes with moving into this phase I mean it's all been about seeking like a deeper knowledge

within myself really seeking inward using my inner compass it's just it's amazing how like when emotions come at me they almost stop like right in front of me Carrie and I'm like oh what do I do with you you know before they hit me so hard and I'm screaming or yelling or crying without any kind of control. But now I have like this pause or like this control that I've never had before. Yeah. And that's an interesting thing you're saying that because, um, I used to also be overcome by emotion as well. And which is why they put me on the pills, right? Trying to make it stop. Me too.

That doesn't work though. All it does is put it in your body. If you don't express it, it ends up giving you disease in your body. That's what I experienced. And so I see my son now going through some of that, you know, like I remember those intense anger waves that would come through. And so as not to hurt somebody else with it, I would often like hurt myself, right? So I'd like bang my head against the wall, get rid of the energy or like, you know, just like punch something or, you know, it's like you got to move the energy somehow.

How do you move that energy? And people are so afraid of anger that it's like, we don't have any good tools for managing it. Like we try to just say it shouldn't happen. Well, it does happen. So like, rather than be saying it's something shouldn't happen, that does happen regularly. Like, why don't we actually come up with a solution for that to let the energy move through? And because at some point it stopped happening. And I think that in my own exploration of it, it feels like when you heal the inner child that wasn't able to express themselves fully,

when you heal that part of you, fully heal that part of you, that kind of really intense rage kind of subsides. Because I've been doing a lot of work with my husband the last seven years on healing the inner child. And, you know, this is one of the blessings of having a sacred partnership is you can help each other heal those tender places, right? And the first couple of years of our marriage were like that part got activated again, right? And I'd be like, I just want to do this thing that I've already learned I don't want to do to myself but it's like you're tussling because it's like I my solution used to just be to bang my head you know and I'd be like how do I deal with this and I know I'm not supposed to do that to myself right so it was interesting

like I could I was in this tension of like this energy needs to be released but I can't do that because that's not going to be healthy and I need to put something in. So I started roaring instead. And so like releasing it through roaring, like using the voice and like roar, you know, and feel that power and that energy come through. And now it's like hardly ever happens. It actually, with last week, I got another, another level deeper got accessed. And I think this is ancestral rage you know and i've had clients coming in the last i would say the last week about a dozen clients saying i'm so

angry i'm so agitated i'm so like frustrated i'm so and i don't know how to move this energy and there's nothing i can do with it and when we go back and look it's that inner child that was not allowed to express anger. That is what's being healed on the planet, plus all the women that were stifled before. Hey listeners, so sorry for the interruption. I'd like to tell you about Uncovering the Mysteries of Kabbalah, an amazing opportunity to be mentored by one of Sense of Soul's affiliates, Rabbi Matthew Ponack. If you've listened to my prior episodes with him, then you know he has a ton of wisdom to share and is

offering Sense of Soul listeners a special discount to take a deep and personalized dive into Kabbalah and the unfolding of your own personal journey. If you're interested, go to matthewponak.com backslash senseofsoul. That's M-A-T-T-H-E-W-P-O-N-A-K.com backslash senseofsoul to learn more and sign up. Now back to our amazing guest. So true. You know, it makes me think of my youngest daughter because she oftentimes will tell me i'm just so angry so angry and what do i do yeah and she was like and she

she's like i don't know why i'm like it's okay to be angry you know it's just an emotion right it's just a human it's something natural that happens in us. It's temporary. You'll be laughing in like 10 minutes. If you let it pass, you will. If you actually, you know, that's the thing about it. It's like a little bit, they say it's manic or something like that, but it's actually, no, it's so cathartic. Like when you actually let anger move through you and you release it. Like I think roaring is probably the safest thing to do. Like stomping on tin cans,

punching pillows, batting cage is my dad. Awesome. Take a bat and just destroy it. Like those smash rooms, right? Very effective. Smashing some dishes and plates and things like that. You know,

it's like people won't let themselves do that. I remember there was this time I was, um, I was going to a women's meeting that I was leading and, uh, and on the way there, the printer wouldn't work. I don't was this time I was, I was going to a women's meeting that I was leading and, and on the way there, the printer wouldn't work. I don't know about anybody else, but printers are one of those things that can spark rage. I just got a new one. I just got a new one. So you know what I went through right before. So I Hulk smashed it. Like I, it would not work this fricking printer.

And I was in a rush. I was tense. And I had to get some places always like in that kind of environment where like it does that. And so I just took it as like, I'm going to take this to release rage. I'm just going to go ahead and like, as a spiritual exercise, release rage. And so I just took the thing. I was like, Hulk smash. And I just dropped it from the upper story and down to the down story.

Everybody was out of the way. Everybody was safe. And then everyone's like, what happened? And I was like, I just released anger. You're like, here's my sacred ritual for the day. I Hulk smashed the printer. So, I mean, we have to give ourselves permission to, you know, experience that exhilaration too. Like it's so exhilarating after it's like, oh, wow, I got to express that. And then, you know, clean up the mess. Like, you know, it's all just clean it up and you're on your way. But it actually can release like almost like a cathartic release in the body when you actually are able to express that and let that free. Because that's not just you in the moment. That's you having stifled yourself for like how many years have you stifled that? That finally there's this intentional release of that energy, right?

We have to be mindful of that. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think that people who know me well know that I'm a very patient person, right? And so I get told oftentimes that, you know, you never get angry, you know, and, you know, the thing is, is that over time, I think like I just have allowed things to come and go so easily. There's no attachments to any of the things. And I think that I probably have dealt with a lot of

the anger over the years but you know it does take me quite a bit to get me angry but breathing breathing and acknowledging the anger like getting getting really aware of those minor refinements like a really refined awareness of those minor violations. Like, because what happens is that anger is there to tell us something's out of right relationship. It's there to tell us that the boundary is being crossed, but we've been trained to have poker faces. Like, don't let them see that they got you.

Get a tougher skin. Pretend like it didn't bother you. I was a good one. That's the game, right? But what that does is it bottles it up yeah and and if you don't like if you don't pay attention to the nuances and let it out little tiny bits at a time it tends to stack up and then it'll come out over something really silly like some tiny little thing happens and you just have like a volcanic eruption to something that's like an ant. It's a jet tile all over the wrong person sometimes. Exactly. So like people ask me, Carrie, why are you so joyful? How are you so peaceful? How are you so joyful? Because I've

learned how to be nuanced in my awareness of the anger when it comes up is like a, is letting me know there's a little fire. A lot of times it just starts with a really subtle tensing of my will center. Like there'll be a little fire in my will center that comes up and I'll be like, oh, oh, what's, and so I stop now with like that nuance. And I go into the will center and I go, oh, what's in there? Okay. What, what boundary was violated? Okay, did I not listen? Okay, what did I do? It's usually something I've done to myself, right? I crossed myself or I stepped all over myself to make somebody else happy or something like

that, right? But acknowledging that little tiny bit there, it's like, oh, I'm sorry. Okay, what do I need to do to set that right? Oh, okay, I need to speak something. I need to say no to this. I need to set a boundary here. I need to get some self-care. You know, whatever the thing is. And then that dissipates that little bit of tension. But it's an ongoing awareness of that and rectifying it at the tiny level that keeps it from becoming this like explosive thing. And it's just, if I try to create peace without going through that process, like just it's

artificial peace. It's not real. And it's kind of like a fake peace and it can be poked, you know, and then it'll reveal what's underneath it, which is a pile of anger. So it's a fake piece. It's really not real. And I think this is what a lot of people experience as spiritual teachers because they are constantly trying to look perfect and trying to be perfect and trying to stay steady for everybody. But they're not necessarily giving themselves that outlet for these human things that come up. It's human to have anger. It's human to have all those things happen. You've got to address it along the way.

Otherwise, yeah, you're going to explode because you are stuffing it, you know? There's a few things that just recently, it's in an episode that I haven't released yet. So I can't even remember really who it was with, to be honest. But I have had this ongoing anger that comes up when I start talking about, like, religion. Right? So it's still there. And even though I allow it to come to surface and I talk it out and sometimes I pace and I'm screaming for 2,000 years. You know? But seriously, it's still there.

And I'm just like, when is it going to subside? You know? It's not as strong as it was. I mean, before, I'd start talking about it. And girl, I'd be like, oh, I couldn't stop. I'd be so, you know, just on it. And now I'm just like, eh. But I do know there are certain triggers where, and just like you oh, I couldn't stop. I'd be so, you know, just on it. And now I'm just like, eh, but I do know there are certain triggers where, and just like you said, I can almost like feel it in my

body rising, right? I could feel it going right to my throat. But now I'm telling you, as I've moved into this phase, it stops. And then it's like, there's this choice that I have, whether to allow it to come all the way up, or just to simmer it down. What I hear in your story about what's happening for you is that you don't need to put a story to it, you know, so the emotion that comes up, we're so trained to put story to it. But story I've learned, because I was such an expert at this, I was two decades on the couch every week talking to psychotherapists and, you know, talking about my story with like big heated words. And that created an outcome for me that was like more of the same. So the thing we don't want to do is use story to trigger the emotion, or if the emotion like is just triggered

in life, that's great, you know, because that way you know it's still there and then feel it express it move it without the story because the story creates more it like it spins it up but what we want to do is deflate the balloon we want to like let it come out and surface what's authentically there and then without like building it up more and i think that's also an art that women are learning how to do because we've been trained to do the opposite right we've been trained to cause more damage almost by gossiping and things like that and that's a sister wound you know that's a sister wound that's how we all separate and tear each other down and so what we're when we come together now we want to like feel the feelings and we want to actually let it express but we don't want to necessarily put a story to it or project it anywhere or make it somebody's fault it's just

in the space and then just clear it feel it clear it and that's mastery right it's like that is mastery what you're describing yourself in is that choice point like what actually needs to happen here and your throat is saying not here you can feel it right yeah it's like not here don't not up here it's like oh okay feel it down here yeah and i love that you said that because why a lot of times I think maybe you'll even create a new story, right? We'll just, you know, storytellers, man, we'll just create a new narrative. Yeah. I mean, the narrative we could create, but it has to be a true narrative. It has to be true. It can't just be, I've tried gaslighting myself many times into another version of reality and the most effective form of it is when you believe it at a body level right it's like you and I are both transformation

artists and when we change our reality we know that there's a certain element of gaslighting to it the tiny little bit of like it hasn't happened yet this way, but it's in the process of being this way. Because you want to give yourself that permission that it could evolve into this more healthy space, right? Now it's here, but it's in the process of becoming this other thing, right? And I learned this tool so beautifully from two of my mentors, George Kansas and Tracy Trottenberg, who are just so helpful for me. Because, yeah, the big emotion comes up in the storytelling. And it's like how to dial back the story while allowing that to be there and then saying what you actually want, right?

Like this is what's been happening up until now. And it feels like this. Now I'm in the process, right? And I feel like what you're talking about with this religious construct, it's like we could be looking at that and say, look what an opportunity this has given women to step into their power to have been so oppressed for so long, right? To have had to learn how to cope with untenable situations while still being caregivers, while still being sovereign inside, to learn how to do that. And now that we're in this ability to set ourselves free, what a gift to be able to untangle ourselves and unweave ourselves.

And as my friend Monica Rogers says, unbecome, like unbecoming, unbecoming that. It's like, how can we let ourselves have permission to unbecome, to release all these old things and to take the wisdom and the power and what you said, the resiliency and the strength of your ancestral women that had to tolerate those conditions. That's like the grist for the mill. They have these beautiful, strong, resilient natures, can do anything. And now we get to inherit that in our bodies and finally also be free as we learn this to master the storytelling thing to create the new reality, right?

Because we create new realities with our stories. We can create the new with this. Yeah, that's actually, that's what I was thinking about when you were talking just now, I was thinking the one thing that maybe I can do for my future lineages and for myself presently is become the creatrix that I am yes and that's one thing I look upon them that they were suppressed

in doing so so that's very powerful, for me as a woman today. I have goosebumps all over right now. And for my children, my girls, and for all the women today is that we get to create whatever we want, the life we want. You know, we're in a time that this is the time of the creatrix. Yeah. And it happens the more and more we accept our bodies because some of us are kind of, especially lightworkers and people like that, it's sort of one toe in the body, but like, it's really hard to be in the body because of the way it feels. This is part of the untethering of women from their physical forms so that they will not be powerful. The only way to be powerful is to fully inhabit your body,

which means you're going to feel the pain of everything. You're going to feel the pain of the ancestry. You're going to feel the pain of your own life experiences. The more deeply you embody, the more you're going to feel where you disembodied before, where you kind of left your body because you had to sever that connection in order to cope with what was happening. And a lot of those things happen specifically to repress women as part of the conditioning to repress the feminine through making her abandon her body. So when we come back, and that makes you angry, I feel it. Yeah, it does. It's definitely a point of anger. So when you see the system, and this isn't like specific people, this is sort of like if you guys have ever seen The Matrix, this is The Matrix at work. The Matrix works through Agent Smith, works through people that are asleep to do things to make sure that women don't inhabit fully their bodies.

Because they get molested and then they have shame so they leave their body or they get conditioned in church to be shameful of their body and then somebody leers at them or something or smacks their ass or who knows what and now they left their body and so you know they've been raped they leave their body we're coming back in the body now and the more you fully embody your body with acceptance and love and the more that you restore the temple, so to speak, to its glory, like as the divine, as the most holy, as the sacred, the sacred divine, the sacred mother, the sacred creator, the sacredness of creation itself happens in a woman's body specifically. Not to say men are not divine, but the center of creation is inside a woman. Okay. That's where babies are born. So let's just be honest with what's going on here.

So when we can actually like embody that vessel, we can share the bounty of that beautiful energy that radiates from a woman fully in her pleasure with who we choose and who is worthy of that energy by how they're behaving and the boundaries we have around it. But that's every woman's choice. But we have to do this exploration, you know, to reclaim our power. And that's the Kundalini energy. So the woman's body is actually highly capable of generating immense pleasure energy which then unblocks the chakras right and then the energy can flow up and down the spine like like that's what you want you want free energy right inside the body and that bathes the brain in like those beautiful pleasure hormones right which? Which creates higher consciousness,

gives you access to higher and higher consciousness if you're in pleasure. Not to say you stay there because you still got to feel your anger. It's a dualistic society. You actually hit something and I was like, ooh, you know, it was like the last time I visited my mom when I went back to Louisiana.

She went to church. It was a Catholic church. They had like 115 year old girls doing confirmation. And later on in the night service, my mom had visited. She said that the priest had gotten up and he had said, all of those girls in the confirmation, he said, not one of them was dressed appropriately. They had their breasts hanging out and they made me sin and every man and brother and uncle in this church. And he said, is there nothing that you can find? Is that the problem that they don't

have anything that will cover them up? He goes, next year we'll be wearing robes. And I just thought, first of all, you're shaming them for their bodies. You should be lucky they're here giving themselves to God. And how dare you blame my husband, my uncle, my son, and include them in your shame, in your sin? Oh, my God. That's a major projection, but that's part of the system of control. And that does come through church. It comes through religion. Yeah, it's not a thing of the past. Like it's still happening. The wound is still happening. All those girls now are going to have a shame wound from their connection to God, which is the most sacred connection there possibly is. And then some guy like that injects his pain into the system and now basically has raped every girl there with his idea. It's terrible. And that disconnects them from their bodies as a sacred vessel, as a sacred human vessel.

Yeah, it's really, I don't want to say it's unforgivable, but there's a few moments of righteous rage and a whole lot of pushback from the community like that's a bunch of BS. If I was the mom sitting in that audience, this is where the moms, listen, stop taking it and stop making your kids take one for the team. A guy does something like that, stand up and say, not on my watch. Mike, if you have a problem, that's your problem. Go get some mental health. Yes. Yeah. Not on my watch, dude.

And for all those parents who experienced that, I'd be leaving that church. Yeah. You know, what's more important, your kids' self-esteem or being part of an institution like that? I mean, I'm not part of the church system, but I've heard that a lot of churches are struggling right now. Their constituents are leaving. And this is exactly why. It's because as the consciousness wakes up, people wake up and they say, that's out of line. That is not okay with me. You just gave my child poor self-esteem

from your position of religious authority. And I don't appreciate that. And people are sick of it, you know, because it's not truth. It's just some guy's twisted sense of things. And you don't actually need a physical space to connect with God. You don't need a man to give your prayers to and ask for forgiveness. You don't need any intermediaries. You have your body. Your body connects with the divine of Mother Earth. She is that. That's what your body is. You have your temple. You have your body. You have your heart. You have your intuition.

You have your hands. You have flowers. You have the trees. You have all that you need to connect in with source. And I'll give this piece too. I got this from my friend Jennifer Huff, who's a quantum physicist, and she understands all this science kind of stuff. I'm not a nerd like that, but she is.

And she said, well, they solved Einstein's equation. He was trying to figure out like, what's the solution of the universe? Like, how does it all work? And what the answer was, the equation only solved when you realize that the center of the universe is inside every single one of your 75 trillion cells in your body. That's how you solve the equation. And for those of you who are scientific and know what all that means, but basically think about it. At the center of every single one of your 75 trillion cells is source. At the center of you, 75 trillion times, source. You're not disconnected. You're just as plugged in and probably more so than that idiot priest guy.

So don't listen to him. That's the other thing is women have like three times the emotional and sensing receptors as men. So, you know, and sensing God is actually a sensory thing. It's not a thinking thing. That's the other mistake of church. It's not a thinking thing. It's a knowing thing. It's not a thinking thing. That's the other mistake of church. It's not a thinking thing. It's a knowing thing. It's an experiencing thing. It's an experience in the mystery of source. The mystery of the creator is an experience that only you are given so that you

will know it to be true. And that's only ever going to happen through your senses, which is your body and not because of somebody's thoughts and their deranged mind. It's ever going to happen through your senses, which is your body. And not because of somebody's thoughts and their deranged mind. It's only going to happen from your body. And if you're a woman, you've got three times the sensory apparatus as men. So trust your body. Your body is telling you more truth than that guy's deranged mind. I guarantee you. Well, I just discovered in my discovery of who Sophia is

in the Gnostic Gospels, the Pista Sophia. So like all of it came together really with Kali Ma and Lilith and other divine feminines, but they're all known as the Dark Mother. The Dark Mother, right? Because they've all been just shamed, hidden and suppressed. And every time I was seeing the word dark mother I kept seeing dark matter and dark matter is scalar energy it is

the energy the source energy that gives us light that's around every single cell in everyone's body dark mother is dark matter matter came from the word mother it literally is the source of energy. Yep. There you go. That's what it is. And you can't escape it. That's the thing. You cannot escape it and you cannot escape your lessons. She knows what you think. She knows what you feel. She knows what you don't know. She knows what you think you know. And I have a section in my book that's he who thinks he knows. That's about this as well. You know, if we only are using our minds and everybody's got one of those he who thinks he knows, because that's the mind, then the feeling sense is everything else. It's your body, it's your heart, it's your pussy, you know, and like,

please pay attention to it. And geez, stop shaming it. But you know, there's so many systems against us that's trying to pull us away from our own inner knowledge, inner wisdom, even the inner medicine that you talk about in your book. Every system is so just absolutely set up to take us out of our bodies, out of our minds, out of our own thoughts. It's truly crazy when you awaken to that. And the only way you awaken to it is when you give yourself a chance to go within.

And you give yourself a chance to have some pleasure. And when you have pleasure, you wake up Pussy and Pussy says, No way, dude. And then she starts fighting back. So that's basically it. Oh my gosh. Every time you say Pussy, I'm like. Oh my gosh. Every time you say pussy, I'm like, oh my gosh. It's like the perfect word.

It elicits joy. It's just like, it's the best word. It's like, you know what? Get comfortable with that and really get like really in tune with her, capital H, her. And you're going to see things in a whole nother way. And the other thing is that when you really get down inside her, that energy of her, she, she's not really that concerned about whatever he who thinks he knows things.

Know thyself, right? Know thyself. Exactly. And that's where you get when you explore inner medicine is you get down to that place of connection with the divine mother and the divine she. And you realize, yeah, she's got all that figured out too. It's really okay. Like even everything we've been through, it's all okay. Yeah. It has a solution and it's coming.

So how can your book help with this? It helps with it because it helps you get in your body and in your senses. That's what shamanism does. Earth spirituality helps you get to your senses and your body and get connected and plugged back into the consciousness of the planet. Call on the four directions, which are the beautiful support system for being on Earth, the South, the West, the North, and the East. Helps you get in connection with your ancestors and go through the training program.

You get in connection with the archetypal energies of the serpent, which helps with your kundalini energy. With the jaguar, who helps you track and protect yourself. With the hummingbird, it helps you navigate outside of time. And with the eagle and condor, it helps you open your heart and see things from a bigger perspective. You know, those are our four primary allies and then plus the elements. So yeah, I mean, the book itself is a rewiring because the book itself is a medicine journey. So it's designed as a medicine journey. As you enter the book, you're asked to set an intention. You will be guided by the keepers of the medicine of this path as you open the book and do the work in the book.

And you'll get to have an experience of what that might be like to be in the training program itself. But yeah, you will get a shift from engaging in the medicine journey of the book for sure. Oh my God, I love that. I took a class to learn how, I was trying to meet my ancestors at the time. And I was really lucky to have a teacher who she was much like you. And she taught very similar to you because I've read, you know, some of your other books and calling on the directions is something that even if I do like regular circles, I usually always do that no matter what, whether

it's drumming or not, just to make sure that we are connected, right? It's just a nice way to begin something. Because it's also setting a framework, first of all, that you're open for help. And second of all, what help you're open for, you know, so that you get to say that a lot of people get afraid when they first start the journey out of religion, and they're so terrified of what's on the other side of the veil and in the unseen world, and they're all terrified of that. This is one way it's like, you can call on high vibrational beings the four directions you can call on the mountains and the rivers and the streams and you can trust the mountains and the rivers and the streams and the rocks right i mean you're made of the same

stuff they are so you're calling on that and then you get to say what support you're willing to receive right you can even call on yeshua ben yosef like you don't have to go with an indigenous teacher i mean i call on white eagle because that's my guide but you can i call in um yeshua ben yosef all the time you can call in yeshua if you want to work with yeshua go ahead but you're doing it in a sacred earth construct which i guarantee he was doing too whether he got stricken from the record. He's also interacting with her, with the divine mother in his divine vessel. For those who don't know, that's Jesus, by the way. Yeah, that's the actual name of Jesus.

And he doesn't have long flowing blonde hair because that was white supremacy that took him over. He has curly locks. He's got woolly hair. Wooly hair means black, people. Hate to pop the bubble. You know what's so amazing is that that's what I did. You know, and in my journey, I kind of like, I think because coming out of the box, I didn't want to ever put myself back in the box.

So I'm just like, I'm going with whatever I feel into or I experienced to be my truth. And so I'm in Colorado. So I have the plains in the east, the mountains in the west. And so that's what I do. You know, I call in my truth. And so I'm in Colorado. So I have the plains in the east, the mountains in the west. And so that's what I do. You know, I call in my environment. Oh, yeah. Perfect. Yeah. And you call in the ground below Mother Earth, you call in Father Sky. You know, if you want to call in angels, call in angels, it's all welcome. But just it's you intentionally setting the container so that you are in a sacred space of your own creation and you can do it i don't care what you can call in

goddesses like khali you can call in kuan yen i mean you can call in the buddha you can call in the christ it doesn't matter like but you're just setting your container for what your day is going to be guided by with intention. And that's what opening sacred space is really all about. I use the indigenous practice because it's non-denominational. And it is earth-based and it works for everybody because we're all earthlings. So that's what I use because it's like the common denominator. In that container, you can put anything you like.

I love that. That's what I always say about Reiki too when I teach it. I'm like, I don't care if you call it Mickey Mouse, Jesus or whoever, make it your own. That's the only way it's really authentic. And that's where we need to go in this world right now is it needs to be about what you are feeling and what's coming from your soul and how that is expressed. Exactly. And that's the unique thumbprint I talk about in the second wave book. And we probably talked about that in the last interview.

You got to follow your unique thumbprint. And that is a initiation because you've been taught to conform. You've been taught that if you do it the wrong way, you're going straight to hell. And all of this fear-based stuff stuff when actually the only path to liberation the only path to connection to source to the truth of source is through your own divine thumbprint if you don't follow that path and you don't follow your heart you don't follow your soul you're never going to get there so the only way to get there is to actually defy all of the BS you've been told. Find the rage.

Find the rage. And find the rage and move through the fear and actually to the other side where there's clarity and truth. And that is the only path that you're going to actually walk your truth. And, you know, if you've been one of those people that's like, Jesus is the only way. And if you don't do that, you're going straight to hell.

If you're one of those people, you're probably blocking yourself from a very divine connection with somebody like buddha or somebody like rumi or who knows who your teacher actually is you're blocking yourself from the sacred kiss by being so certain of things in your mind because you're afraid of doing it wrong and you're afraid of going straight to hell you got to decide do i want to keep believing that and block myself from my divine path or do i want to actually follow what my soul keeps putting right in front of my face all the time, right in front of my face? It's showing up and I keep saying no to it because

I have this idea that I'm going to hell if I do that, but it keeps putting it right in my face. And every time it does, it feels really good to me. But then I doubt myself. Please do whatever the thing is that your soul keeps putting right in front of your face. Please do that thing. Stop living small. Stop limiting yourself. Yes. Gosh, you're so amazing.

I just love your energy. And if our listeners want to listen more to you and your wisdom, tell them where they can find you, your amazing podcast and your books and your website and all the good things. Yeah. Well, you can find me at kerryhummingbird.com, K-E-R-R-I, hummingbird.com.

And if you want a first chapter of inner medicine, you want to check it out and you want a free grounding meditation, you can get that at kerryhummingbird.com. That's K-E-R-R-I, hummingbird.com, forward slash inner medicine, all one word. And yeah, my website has links to Soul Nectar Show and all that kind of stuff. We're going to interview Shanna over there. So come over and take a look at Soul Nectar Show too. Awesome. And they can get your book probably anywhere, right? Amazon. It's all over the world on Amazon. Yeah. Okay, cool. Awesome. You're also going to be an affiliate of Senseless Soul. Yes. And so they can actually go to my website and actually find that

link to your mini course. Absolutely. So I'm offering through Sense of Soul, I'm offering a Sense of Soul package, which is the mini course to connect with the four directions, the South, the West, the North, and the East. There are one hour recordings, each one of them. And I really recommend you do them one week at a time and give yourself a chance for the direction to greet you and work with you and then I'm also as part of that package doing a 30 minute session so the whole thing is $177 so you get to

book that at Sense of Soul that is awesome well thank you so much Keri for spending time with me okay thanks everyone bye for now thanks for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast and thanks to our special guests for joining me. If you want more of Sense of Soul, check out my website at www.mysenseofsoul.com where you can work with me one-on-one or help

support Sense of Soul Podcast by donating to my coffee fund. Thanks for listening.