Sense of Soul - Rising Above and Beyond Rejection

Episode Date: November 17, 2023

Today on Sense of Soul Podcast we have, Caitlin Spears she is a certified health and nutrition coach, fitness coach, and founder of founder of Complete by Caitlin. At 18 she experienced a painful rejection from the hit show ‘America’s Next Top Model,’ which affected her relationship with her body and food. Caitlin went on to have a successful modeling career and became a certified health and nutrition coach. Her mission is to empower individuals to feel strong, healthy, and confident, focusing on both physical well-being and profound self-realization. She holds certifications from the IIN Institute of Integrative Nutrition, Precision Nutrition, and ACE Fitness, and her methods have helped numerous individuals achieve their health goals. Learn more about her upcoming event and about her coaching program, The CAIT Method, a 4-step process designed to help individuals achieve their optimal health and wellbeing on her website: Complete by Caitlin Follow her journey @caitlinsheyspear Thank you Feedspot for  naming Sense of Soul Podcast the Number 1 Spiritual Awakening Podcast! https://blog.feedspot.com/spiritual_awakening_podcasts/ Learn more about Sense of Soul Podcast: https://www.senseofsoulpodcast.com Check out the NEW affiliate deals! https://www.mysenseofsoul.com/sense-of-soul-affiliates-page

Hello, my soul-seeking friends. It's Shanna. Thank you so much for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast. Enlightening conversations with like-minded souls from around the world. Sharing their journey of finding their light within, turning pain into purpose, and awakening to their true sense of soul. If you like what you hear, show me some love and rate, like, and subscribe. And consider becoming a Sense of Soul Patreon member, where you will get ad-free episodes, monthly circles, and much more.

Now go grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Hey listeners, did you know that Feedspot names Sense of Soul number one of their top 40 spiritual awakening podcast? Thank you so much Feedspot for acknowledging Sense of Soul. And I am beyond thankful for all of you listeners. Thank you so much for listening. And on today's episode, I have Caitlin Spears. She's a certified health, nutrition, and fitness coach. Caitlin's joining us to tell us about how she turned her pain into purpose at 18 when she experienced a painful rejection from the hit show America's Next Top Model and how she became the founder of Complete by Caitlin and her mission to empower individuals to feel strong, healthy, and confident, focusing on both physical well-being and profound self-realization. So please welcome Caitlin. Hello. Tell us a little bit about how your journey started and how you got to where you are. Yeah. So I guess you can say my journey started at about 18

when I experienced a painful rejection from America's Next Top Model. It was something that wasn't expected. I kind of thought my life was about to go down a very different path. And when that door closed, I didn't know how to handle the door closing. They basically told me I needed to work on my body and then come back. And so that kind of sent me in a spiral for the next few years, really not knowing what that meant. Like, was I not good enough? Was I not skinny enough? Was I not tall enough? Constantly comparing myself, lots of body dysmorphia, lots of eating habits that were not great, binge restrictive eating. And that's kind of where the story began. After years and years of going through that journey and really hitting what I would call my rock bottom, I was able to pull myself out

because I decided I was no longer going to let that one person, that one organization, tell me how I could or couldn't live my life and tell me if I was or wasn't good enough. So, you know, I think it was a mindset shift. I stopped feeling bad for myself. I stopped thinking that, oh, poor me, there's something wrong with me. And I started realizing, no, there's not anything wrong with me. It's something wrong with them. And I just wasn't right for that journey. And that really helped to start me down what I would call my new path. I think I was about 22 when I started to realize this. So I started kind of pulling myself out of that funk I was in. I started getting into fitness a lot. I was working

out. I was using it as like, you know, a mental outlet. I had a trainer for a little bit. I started eating better. I started getting back into modeling. I had been in and out of it throughout those three years, but very toxic was not treating my body well. And so when I started to pull myself out of that, I started to see this whole new life I could be living that I had just been kind of wasting away for the past three years. And I really just didn't want to do that anymore. So I actually decided to leave college at that point and just get away from the noise. So I actually booked a one-way ticket to Bali where I enrolled in, it was at the time a computer coding school, but they also were doing social media because it was the time when like social media influencers and courses and all that was taking off.

So I was like, okay, I'm going to apply for this scholarship to this school. And I'm just going to see where the universe takes me. Applied, got the scholarship, booked the ticket, went to Bali. The rest is history. I would say from the age of 23 on, my life has been all about my journey. Like who am I finding myself, my passions, my interests, changing my life, being better for myself and for the people around me. And yeah, that's a little bit about me and kind of like how I started down the journey of health and wellness. So who were you before? I mean, were you someone that was confident? Yeah, I've always been one of the most confident, one of the strongest, most independent people, like truly since I was a little kid,

my parents, my grandparents will always say I had this just like fire within me to be the greatest. You know, I grew up in a town of 2000 people on a cow farm. I was always kind of not the black sheep because like, I love my family, but it was more like I just wanted something more. I was always wanting more and more and more and more and more. Yeah. Always knew I could do it. I always had the confidence. I always just went out and did whatever I wanted to do. And then it was like that one rejection just shut it down for me. And looking back now at 28, I realized that that rejection was a redirection. But at the time, you don't realize that you're too in it, you know, you're too in the thick of the rejection to fully understand that you have so much more to live and so much more to give. And so it took me going through three and a half years of challenges and

obstacles and frustrations to be able to pull myself out. But I will say, if I didn't go through those three and a half years of pain and challenges and struggles, I wouldn't be able to help the people that I help now. Isn't that funny? I found that to be the truth for most of our journeys. It's like all of those struggles, all of the mountains that we've climbed have only made us stronger. And then you can help other people through your experience. You know, I had on Emmy years ago. I don't know if you know who Emmy is. She was the first oversized model. Okay. Like back in like the eighties or 90s, 80s, maybe even. And, you know, we talked a lot about that shaming of the body. Yeah.

And I think for women in general, this is something that I try to instill in my children. It starts like so deep. It's almost like an ancestral pattern that in the mass, like collectively, like women are dealing with. Yeah. And it really is something I don't think you can fully understand until it happens to you until like in that moment, you lose a little bit of who you are because somebody else took it away from you. And I think that's so sad that we, as young women, as children, we not, I wouldn't say we're allowing someone else to take it from us, but somebody else is trying to take our power away from us for a reason that is just so not right. I remember in fifth grade, like I'll never

forget this. I remember I went to a birthday party. She had older brothers and I was like developing in fifth grade. And I remember someone saying that I've had like bigger breasts, like one of those boys, the older boys. And I had never looked at myself that way until that moment. And it still is something I remember. Yeah. We really hold on to things like whether we think about it all the time or not, those deep rooted things that happen to us. That's why I work with a lot of my clients on, you know, deconstructing their limiting beliefs, imposter syndrome, things like that. Because when you're not doing well in life,

like usually there's a deep root cause as to what's going on. You know, you can go to the doctor and they can tell you you're sick, but at the end of the day, there's always an underlying cause. There's always something that happened that triggered something that started the flow of where you're at today. And I think that's so true with something, you know, like you said that happened in fifth grade, but you still remember it. Isn't that crazy? You know, I don't think about it often, but I mean, when I reflect on like, when was the first time I realized I was a girl? And I always think about this too, because I teach Reiki. And when I teach it, I teach them about the developmental

stages of Reiki. And like during the first stage of like the root chakra coming into your body, it's zero to seven years old. And this is when like, you know, you are just observing the world and taking it all in. And, you know, you don't care what other people are wearing or how cool someone's shoes are and everyone's friends, you know, boys and girls, you don't care about what kind of car so-and-so's mom drives. Then all of a sudden, the next stage, as you're moving into your sacral chakra, seven to 14 years old, now it's like, oh my gosh, you're a girl, I'm a boy, you know, your hormones are going, your emotions. And all of a sudden, like the body becomes something where before you didn't care about

the body. You didn't care about other people's bodies. Yeah, I mean, that's so true. And I think that's the same, like the way I learned it when I went to holistic school was basically that, you know, you have your four stages and it's very similar. You have the stage where you're not really affected by a lot and then you move into that next stage and you're affected by everything. And it is, it's so crazy to think, but it's the world we live in. Everything is polarized. Everything is cool or not cool. Or, you know,

you need to look like this, or you need to look like that. There's so many opinions and it's everywhere. Advertising is everywhere. Marketing is everywhere. And so you are constantly from the age, like you said, of seven years old, comparing yourself to other people and what they have and what you don't. So I have four kids. My youngest is 11. I was aware and very awakened and present with her rather than my older kids. So I was literally watching it at seven years old where she went from really loving her favorite things very authentically. And then all of a sudden she didn't like those anymore. And I'm like, what, what do you mean? This is your favorite. And she's like, oh, nobody has that. And I'm like, oh my God, it shifts so fast. I do find it to be

amazing. I feel like as people awaken and they become more present and more conscious in life, style has actually kind of supported this a little bit too. Yeah, absolutely. It's definitely like self-expression, creativity. There are so many goods, but that's life. With good comes bad. And I think it's just, we are going into this new era of living. And so we just have to, I think, help each other get through it in the best way possible. Yeah. I mean, even conscious shopping. I had someone on who is a fashion designer a while back who like the heart of her work is to have natural fibers and stuff on your skin because there's so many toxins in everything that we're exposed to all day long yeah I think that's so cool

yeah absolutely that's definitely not my like realm like I understand it and I think it's such a cool thing that people are bringing awareness to eco-friendly clothing because fashion has become such a thing. And obviously in this day and age, we've already got enough issues. I don't think supporting all the huge fast fashion brands is the best way to go about it. But, you know, I do also understand there is a money component here and the more sometimes eco-friendly things get right now, the way society is, that's more expensive. I know it's silly. It's like, shouldn't the more natural stuff be cheaper?

I actually posted this the other day because I saw if you go buy an all natural peanut butter that is just peanuts, it's like $9. If you go buy a peanut butter with 17 ingredients, it's $4. And I'm like, or $3. I'm like, where's the gap? Yeah. The less ingredients you would think the cheaper it would be. Yeah. You would think, but they're pricing you out of eating healthy. They're pricing you out of buying eco-friendly clothes because that's not the way our world works. It's so disturbing, isn't it? And so we have a lot of things fighting against us. But, you know, I think that, you know, women like you who are coming out and talking about

this gives so much hope to like my 11 year old little girl who really is, gosh, man, these younger generations, like younger than yours, like under yours, are so awake. I mean, they are so conscious. They care about the environment. They fight against injustices, right? They are so powerful and going against the grain, which I think that a lot of the older generations are like, what's wrong with those children? There's this generation gap for sure that of lack of understanding. And I'm like somewhere in the middle trying to like make peace with everyone.

Yeah. But you know, I have kids from 26 to 11. Okay. And so I've got three different generations in this house. So it makes for interesting conversations. Absolutely. I mean, I'm 28. My middle sister is 21 and my youngest sister is 18. So there's lots of like, you know, I'm the generation above them, but my middle sister is somewhere in the middle. And then my youngest sister is very much Gen Z.

What do they call the millennials? They call you something like Zenny's or something? Yeah. I'm on the cusp of millennial and the first year of Gen Z, end of 94. I'm November 16th. So I don't know, but I'm basically like the very end. Yeah. Yeah. I think they call, I just saw the other day, they call you like Zenny's or something like that. Like you have your own, your own name. I love your generation. In fact, most people who listen to my podcast are millennials, which is interesting. But I feel a very deep passion for Gen Z. I feel like they're misunderstood and I can't wait for them to come into their purpose. I think people just don't get what they don't understand. And, you know,

growing up in a generation that the older generations can't even fathom because it didn't exist for half of the older generations, the internet didn't even exist. So it's such a gap like in the last a hundred years so much has happened that you don't know what you don't understand I know social media alone I mean you probably experienced not having social media as a child and still got to play outside quite a bit yeah but you know going into high school you you know I mean it would be, it would be, it was really a thing. It was becoming more popular social media. And what about the FOMO? I mean, you know, you look at suicide and stuff like that. I think we've created this world where everybody kind of lives in a fake society online. Really, we're all going through things. And I think that's, what's incredible about Gen Z and, you know, even me being on

social media now is I get to be vulnerable. I get to be real. And I will tell you, my community resonates more when I'm vulnerable and when I'm real than when I spend an hour changing things, they want that realness. They want that vulnerability because they really. Yeah, I would, I would say that too. I think that Gen Z is the most realist when it comes to, yeah, they're like, yeah, we may have filters, but thing is, is that is also creativity. I see in many ways. Yeah, absolutely. I think, I think like just with everything else, there's good and there's bad.

Also creating the stigma that everybody needs to look like this. And then you start to see yourself with only filters and you think, oh, I don't look pretty because I don't look like that filter. Yeah. I, you know what? I don't even know how to do filters. I actually made a promise to myself at the beginning of this year in January that I would never use a filter on a story on a post because I even found myself using it over the past two years, you know, back in 2020, 2021. And I'm like, I'm even getting in my head about it thinking that I don't look good enough to go on camera. I don't look. And it's so not true. It's just the stigma around it that I

no longer want to promote. Yeah. You know, and it is crazy when you think about we have come so far, but like some countries haven't. I mean, there's still many countries that women aren't even allowed to go around without something over their head. Yeah. I actually did three months in Istanbul for modeling. So when I was younger, so yeah. So I'm very aware of living in other countries where women have far less rights than they do in the United States. I also did three months in Mexico City, very different, but you know, these are countries that the women's rights movements have not been as great as they have in the United States, I would say. I just got done doing an

interview on someone else's podcast. And we talking about Istanbul and we were talking about the Hagia Sophia, you know, that big place that looks like Disneyland, right? And who Sophia is. And most people don't know who she is. And I'm writing a book on who Sophia is, but Jesus taught about her in the Gnostic Gospels and she is the divine feminine she is the feminine aspect of God okay and so for all what you just said in the same sentence is very disturbing to me because the divine feminine is rising Hagia Sophia means holy wisdom and the wisdom of God is what that means. And it is a feminine energy. So it's like gone are the days, but that's one of my big purposes is to tell that story. So yeah, total synchronicity that you mentioned that in that instable, we used to be Constantinople,

right? That was the center of Christianity. Yeah. It was where it began. The cities in the world, literally. Yeah. Just seeing something that old, that big, that spans two continents is kind of undescribable. I will say it was definitely like eye-opening for me. And I've actually lived several places all over the world. So it was a very cool experience. Wow. I can't imagine. Did it was a very cool experience. Wow.

I can't imagine. Did you get a chance to go inside the Hockey House, Sophia? No, I did not. Unfortunately, I worked a lot when I was there. Yeah. So different experience, but still an experience nonetheless. Yeah. Well, thank God you weren't there when they had the earthquake.

I actually had someone on my podcast who was there during it. Oh, wow. And she's from America. and she just was like, it was crazy. Yeah. I can't even imagine. 2019, the very beginning of 2019. So. That's amazing. So tell me, how did you get to the point from feeling devastated and low about yourself when you had gone from feeling so confident, right? And then down your energy went from like one side of the spectrum to the other. And then you started to rise up out of it. Like, was there like a defining moment? I don't know if there was one defining moment. I think there was several incidences. I was at college. I was drinking way too much. I was hanging out with people that did not serve me.

I was not taking my life seriously. I was working all the time. I was stressed. I had no money. I was paying for everything. I was not living this life that I had thought I would be living. And I think it just finally got to me. I think after three years of not living the life that I wanted to be living, I was done. I just woke up one day and I was like, no more, no more victim, no more. I can't do it. At the end of the day, the only person responsible for my life is me. And so if I want to make change, real change, I actually have to stick to something. I cannot go back and forth. I want to make change, real change, I actually have to stick to something. I cannot go back and forth. I have to find something that lights me up, that I'm passionate about, and I have to stick with it.

When I did that, I will say like my life changed. You know, I started doing things. I think it was the mindset shift. I was no longer doing things because I had to do them. I was doing things because I had to do them. I was doing things because I wanted to do them. I had this, I had this why, this greater purpose, this sense of understanding my life was bigger than I could even imagine it if I just put the work in. So you kind of started to live more authentically seeking within yourself rather than seeking it outside. Yeah. I think I had always been like

that. Like I said, most of my life till I was 18, I never sought who I was and other people. But then for those three and a half years, I really like sought that in people. I needed people to validate me. I needed to tell me I was good enough. And then I just woke up and I didn't need those people to tell me I was good enough anymore. At the end of the day, if I knew I was good enough, that's all that mattered. Yeah. You know, I even think about not just in the model industry, but also when you think about sports and stuff like that. I remember like the dangerous things, you know, my son was doing to like make weight and just the mental games that it plays with sports. I mean, sports has good and bad, you know, we've said that, but yeah, I mean, it took him years to undo a lot of that. Yeah, I absolutely, you know, I understand from a different perspective. It's like, you know, no matter what you're going for, if it requires you to focus on your weight or your body image, it's a really difficult thing as a young person to go through.

Yeah, very unhealthy. And usually those things stay with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Hey listeners, did you know that Sense of Soul has a network of lightworkers affiliates program? Now you get to work with one of our inspiring guests and I'd like to introduce you to one of our affiliates. Brent Bruning, Master Hand Analysis. He has studied the life patterns over 20,000 people, including many individuals in high profile positions. Hand analysis is one of the most powerful ways to unlock your self-knowledge so that you can find

your spark within. This session is sure to be as unique as your fingerprints. Book your session and get a special Sense of Soul discount at www.thepowerinyourhands.com and use the code SENSEOFSOUL. You can also find this link in the show notes. You can also go to my sense of soul.com and in the menu, look for the network of lightworkers. Now back to our amazing guest. And you're helping people undo a lot of this. Like this is where your journey has led you. So what kind of practices are you working with when you're talking about like having to rewire their brain and get them back into a positive mindset? Yeah, absolutely. So when I work with my clients, I have a four-step method that I've created. It's called the CAIT method. And the C-A-I-T stands for Connect, Approach, Integrate, and Transform. And the reason that I start with Connect, basically, I want people to connect with themselves on a deeper level.

I teach them how to figure out who they are, what they want, not what other people want. What do you want? Why do you want these things? Why are they important to you? And then let's work on mindset because right now you coming into my program are not in the right mindset. You're very negative about things. You don't believe in yourself. So we need to rewire those pathways to believe that you absolutely can do anything you set your mind to. You just have to stick with it. And then I help my clients come up with their strengths and their weaknesses because it's really good to understand what we are really strong at because we don't really stop and say, oh man, I'm really good at this every day. So just really working with them to build what I call the foundation, because I like to build a

house with my clients. And if we don't have a strong foundation, if we don't deconstruct those beliefs they have about themselves, if they're constantly feeling like they're an imposter in their life, they cannot move on to the next step. So I really work on foundation for a long period of time with my clients because I believe that that is the foundation that's going to help you get the results you want, not for two weeks, but for the rest of your life. Well, I just find it very inspiring. A lot of times when people come out of where you were,

what I've seen, is they feel stuck. Yeah. So you have to get unstuck. It's that, I think that's kind of like one of the most difficult things. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think that's why you have to find like your why, why important for you to do whatever it is you want to do, whatever your dreams are, whatever your goals are, why are they important? Because at the end of the day, the why is the only thing that's going to keep you going. You're not always going to have motivation to get up and do what you need to do.

But if you have a greater purpose and a greater why you find the discipline to continue doing the things that need to be done. You know, we're multidimensional. So we're not just dealing with the body. We're not just dealing with the mindset we're not just dealing with the mindset right we're and actually oftentimes in my journey you know I would meditate and be all into you know reiki and all of these very esoteric things that are keeping me very much in my head and everything's going really good then I forgot about I had a body now my body is like starting to scream at me and saying, what are you doing for me? Absolutely. And that's why I teach all of my clients, every single person that I work with, primary and secondary foods. Primary foods are the 12

areas of your life that make up you as a whole person. Things like joy, creativity, spirituality, education, career, physical activity, health, and so many more to make up who you are as an entire person. I don't coach you just for the health component. I don't coach you just for the mindset component. I coach you as the whole person that you are. And secondary foods are the foods that you eat on your plate. That's the foods that fuel your body. And they come secondary because if you're not taking care of every area of your life, first and foremost, those 12 areas, it doesn't matter what kind of food you're eating. You ultimately cannot be healthy. I like that idea. Yeah. So you hear about this often that, you know, and I've had this,

I have two kids who are close to your age and one who she went to college and decided, well, I've just went to college and didn't go for what I actually want to do in life. So is it a waste? I'm like, no, nothing's a waste. I mean, everything that you do, every experience, right. Is, you know, going to be part of the journey you know and then you have some who don't know what they want to do and they end up living with their parents for a long time which I don't care I'm not one of those parents that are like you're 18 you're an adult you should have it all figured out I mean I think it's just absolutely stupid so and I like my kids so they can live with me you they're like bye 18 years old yeah yeah some

of them are like that yeah you got one or the other yeah it's hard though I mean when I first had my first apartment it was like four hundred dollars and now it's like four thousand dollars right exactly so it's really difficult and and I've had both my kids say, I don't think I could ever move out by myself. Like I'm going to have to find a roommate or I'm going to, my daughter one time asked me early on after she graduated, she was like, I just did the math. I think I might, like, I might have to get married. I'm like, what? I have to get married. But she's like, I don't know how I'd be able to survive on my own, like here in Colorado anyways.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I'm just like, I just kind of want to go back to what you were talking about a second ago when you brought up a lot of these kids come out of college feeling like they have this degree that they sometimes get down on themselves about because they're not using it. And I actually had a client recently and we did like a big, like a challenge for her because she was very down on herself. She's like, I feel like I put in all these years and I'm not using my degree. So what I had her do, if anyone listening is like, I graduated college, I'm not

using my degree. I feel like a shit, like a, like a fraud. I don't feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I had her make a list of every good thing that came out of going to college and getting that degree because she was just looking at, oh, I'm not using my degree. I must just be a failure at life. But what came out of getting that degree? What friends did you meet? What obstacles did you overcome? What challenge, like what came out of it? Because I bet if you look back on those years, you went to college, so many good things came out of it. Absolutely. And you know what I would say from my own personal experience, I remember when my dad, I was younger, he made me go to school for like HTML and my computer stuff. And I was like, oh, okay. But I did because it was a family business and

internet was just developing and he wanted to be ahead of everything. So I did it. And then I was like, for the longest time, like, this is so not my jam. Like, this is not vibing with me. I don't want to do this my whole life. But now today, like all of those skills are very useful in what I do. And I don't have to hire out for most of the things that I do because of the skills that I learned that I thought was so stupid to learn. Yes. There's always good.

If you look for the good, there's good to be found. If you look for the bad, there's bad to be found. So it's just about what are you looking for? And so many people, I don't know if you find this, but that they're looking too far in the future or they're looking too far in the past and neither one exists. Like people have a really hard time just being present, just finding some gratitude and some blessings right here. Yeah.

And I think that's why I help all of my clients build in gratitude practices. It doesn't have to look the same. There's so many ways to build a gratitude practice into your daily life. And I give them the tools necessary to create that practice because I believe everybody, no matter who you are, if you can find a little bit of gratitude in every single day, your life will be better. And what do you think also about, you know, COVID really kind of put people in this hermit mode? You know, I mean, even myself, I can probably count on one hand how many times I've ever stayed home, like for a full 24 hours. And now, I mean, I'm totally comfortable staying home 24 hours. In fact, I might be very uncomfortable. And when I think about the life that I had before on the

go, go, go, go, go, people have gotten really comfortable about not being social, not going out there and trying new things. You know, I think take it slow, you know, work on one area of your life at a time. And that's what the primary foods are. We work on relationships and social life and so many aspects of your life. Take it slow. Every single area of your life needs to be nurtured. But if you've, you know, you went backwards three years, so it's okay for things to feel a little bit uncomfortable. They honestly, it'd be weird if they didn't feel a little bit uncomfortable because like you said, we have been at our houses for so long, the world changed. So I think instead of like looking at it, like you need to go back to how things were before. What is the new future that you want to create for

yourself? What's the new vision you have for your life? Sit down and write it down. What is that vision for your life? And then area by area by area, work on a singular area one at a time, work very, very small. If you want to work on relationships, work one step at a time, cultivate one relationship at a time, because in any area of your life, if you go too fast, you're going to get overwhelmed and you're going to give up. So anything that you do when it's new or it's foreign or it's fresh, go slow, nurture one area at a time and take it step by step and day by day. And remember, if you go backwards, that's okay too. At the end of the day, just get up the next day and try again. Oh my gosh. Caitlin, you're so positive. I love it. You know

what? At your age, and I remember at your age, I had two children. I mean, I was going to be the mom. I was going to play the role, you know, and believe me, I am a mom like through and through. So it is what I'm not, no regrets. But I mean, a lot of people start having these expectations about themselves. Like, oh, time's ticking. I need to find a man. I need to have a child. I need to have a house. I need to have all the things, you know, by this age, maybe I'm behind, right?

People feel often behind and they're trying to catch up with the world and society and the conditions. I bet you see a lot of that. Yes, especially like I said, I grew up in a really small town in Oklahoma. I would say 90% of people that I grew up with, especially by, I mean, 100% by now, most of them have, you know, one, two, three kids have either been married once or twice. Right. Most of them still live there and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It just was not the path for me.

And so we need to understand that if that's the path you want to take, that's amazing. That is great. But make sure it's the path you want to take, not what somebody else wants you to take, or you're taking because you think society wants you to take that. Great. That's it. It was something that I really had to shed over the years, those expectations of what the perfect mother or wife or whatever looked like, because that's the modeling that I had looked up to my whole life for generations. And I almost feel like a lot of these things are generational. They're rooted from our ancestors. And that's why I love to see someone like you, you could tell like the divine feminine is rising in you. They're rooted from our ancestors. And that's why I love to see

someone like you. You could tell the divine feminine is rising in you. You're passionate about this and you just make it seem so hopeful. And so I love what you're doing and I appreciate your authenticity and your vulnerability even more. Yeah. And I relate to everything you've just said. I mean, I actually grew up opposite. I would say my family was far from perfect, like very far from it. I actually did not grow up with my dad my entire life. My mom and me have a very strained relationship, just very big family, very love parts of my family, very opinionated growing up, very black and white, grew up in a very small town. So, you know, I think for me, it was like breaking away from that.

It's like how not be not that they didn't teach me some amazing things. But, you know, you don't have to be like your parents. You don't have to be like your grandparents. You don't have to be like your family. You're allowed to be your completely unique self. And I think that's what's incredible. And I think that that's what we need to promote is being uniquely you because that is your superpower at the end of the day. There's definitely something changing in, you know, the generations. Can you imagine, you know, your grandmother, your great

grandmother sitting here talking the way you are? No, it would never happen. No. And like, you know, your grandmother, your great grandmother sitting here talking the way you are just would never happen. No. And like, you know, you love your, your grandparents. I actually had great, great grandparents alive when I was younger and I don't have great grandparents alive. They're only about 85, 86 years old. So I have a lot of grandparents, a lot of generations, and I absolutely love them. And, you know, people are always like, but they don't, you know, they don't think the way that you think. And I'm like, well, they're 86 years old. I'm not going to try to convince them at 80 to think the way that I think because they grew up in a different time, a different world, a different life. Yeah. Can you imagine inside? They're probably

thinking you go look at my granddaughter, what she can do, what she can be, what she can say. I hope so. I hope they are. It's, you know, it wasn't that long ago, Caitlin, that women couldn't vote. They weren't allowed to learn how to read. So women didn't have jobs. Women were only meant to be home cooking, cleaning. Breeding. Literally. I'm like, I don't even, I've spent my whole life not even knowing if I wanted kids. And so I'm like, I can't even imagine what these women, not that all of us felt this way, but the ones who didn't want to live that life, how they felt and just like how much torture that must have been there was this girl

who i did her ancestry and she she found this letter like um i think it maybe was in a bible or something like that a note that her grandma had wrote it was so sad it was so sad. It was so sad. It said something like, so-and-so doesn't approve of me. I just hate myself. I'm not good enough. I mean, it was so sad. I know. Like you said, in just a short amount of time, a hundred years, you know, look how far we've come. And, but yet some of those people are still living and I feel like you can learn so much from them too. Oh my goodness. So much wisdom. I love old people. Seen and done it all. Yes, I do too. But you know, I'm moving into my crone phase. And if you look at, if you looked up crone, I was shocked as hell. It actually

says hag, like old hag. And I even did a course, I did a class in circle on like the triple goddess. So it's like, you know, the maiden phase, which you were in right now. And then I, you know, I've been most of my life in the mother phase moving into my current phase and what comes with that and then but what you said earlier this is the beauty of the triple goddess is that much like the moon and she goes through many phases right and just as a woman does just like the moon many cycles many phases but I am always, I'm still the maiden. I'm still the mother. And, you know, I can even reach out to my future wiser self, you know, in that way, but we are still whole, right? So I think oftentimes when we don't feel

mature enough about something or wise enough about something or we feel like we're too old to have fun like just to really tap into like the goddess within who is whole in all of it yeah I love that I think that you should never stop having fun I think you too fun is a really sad day of course yeah like you have different, different things that you have to on or the nurturing part about them. That is the mother. That's a mother energy. You know, whether you're a physical mother or not, you are still that mother goddess. And then connecting with the wisdom of like your grandmother within yourself.

I just think that, you know, women are kind of special and we're rising. I love that. So beautiful. Thank you so much for coming on sense of soul. I really appreciate it. You have to tell everybody though, where they can find you. I know you've got quite the social media presence as well, but no filtered and all positive energy out there. I love that. Much. Yes. So my website is thecbcmethod.com and I am Caitlin Shea Spears on all platforms. And I'm actually launching my very first live launch course that is going to be teaching people how to channel their inner confidence and look and feel their absolute best. I'm launching that launching December 1st. And so I'm really, really excited to get to work with all these beautiful people who sign up for my course. Awesome. Well, you have a beautiful day and I wish you all the

luck and happiness in your future. Thank you so much. You too. Thank you for having me on and enjoy your weekend. Thanks for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast. And thanks to our special guests for joining me. If you want more of Sense of Soul, check out my website at www.mysenseofsoul.com dot my sense of soul dot com where you can work with me one-on-one or help support sense of soul podcast by donating to my coffee fund thanks for listening