Sense of Soul - Teaching Mindfulness and Kindfulness

Episode Date: January 11, 2021

Today we have with us, Marneta Viegas she is the founder of Relax Kids Ltd,  UK's leading expert on children's relaxation. She is author of 9 books and has produced a range of relaxation CDs and has appeared on BBC Dragons' Den. Marneta has over 30 years of experience in meditation and relaxation and is editor of RELAX, a quarterly magazine. Marneta also runs a training program for parents and teachers to help children to relax. Join us we chat about the fun ways to introduce your children to meditation and mindfulness and listen to Marneta read her most beautiful poem, Be Kind! Check out Relax Kids coaches and programs and more at: http://www.relaxkids.com   Visit www.mysenseofsoul.com and check out our workshops and our online store.  

Welcome to the Sense of Soul podcast. We are your hosts, Shanna and Mandy. Grab your coffee, open your mind, heart and soul. It's time to awaken. Today with us on Sense of Soul, we have Marnetta Villegas. She's the founder of Relax Kids, the UK's leading expert on children's relaxation. She is the author of nine books and has produced a range of relaxation CDs that have appeared on the BBC Dragon's Den. Marnetta has over 30 years of experience in meditation and relaxation and is the editor of Relax, a quarterly magazine and runs a training program for parents and teachers to help children to relax. Welcome, Arnetta. Hello. Hello. How are you? I'm good, thank you. We love what you're

doing, and it's so needed. This is such an amazing program. Thank you. We're so excited. Mandy and I both have kids, and so we're looking for some tips that you can give us to help during this really difficult time for all children. This has been a really confusing year, I think, for kids. It really has. Just the amount of anxiety and fear, because as a parent, you naturally go into fear and stress and anxiety. And the children, your children, our children are just soaking that up. It's interesting because when I first started 20 years ago, at that time, people literally laughed in my face at the idea of children needing to relax. Parents and teachers literally to my face laughed, just said, why on earth do you need to teach children to relax? This is ridiculous.

Yeah, that's shocking. Yes. How did you find 20 years ago that this was something that kids needed? I started as a children's entertainer. So when I left university in 92, I wanted to be an actress, children's TV presenter, and did a few interviews and auditions. And I just thought, no, I can't do this. So I'm going to be a clown. So I became a children's entertainer through the 90s. And then over a period of eight years, I noticed a deterioration of children's concentration for my show. And I thought, well, I know my show's not getting worse. What's happening to children's minds? And having practiced meditation since I was 12, I learned meditation in the 80s, early 80s. I felt meditation in the 80s early 80s I felt meditation was the answer but the concept of

meditation 20 years ago would have just been too strange for adults it was still very new agey we weren't evolved like we are now as you say we didn't do mindfulness and it was still very hippie and I got laughed at for meditating as a child as a teen and so what I did was I took all those children's fairy stories and I turned them into meditations so children would imagine they were Jack climbing the beanstalk and floating in the clouds or sleeping beauty lying on a bed and sinking into the bed and it worked so perfectly and I had them all the stories written and I kept them in the cupboard for quite a while until a friend said let's write them up and I was just like oh no and then I got

this publishing deal and he said it'll be a year till the book is out and I thought I can't wait a year I'm going to do something now and my mum gave me some money to put a deposit down for a flat in London and I thought no I'm not going to use that I'm going to make CDs for children and that was the whole start the whole new business I mean she really was not happy at the time you You know, that money was my inheritance early, but that money has kept me in work for 20 years. So it was a good, good investment. You said you've been meditating since you were 12. Did your mom teach that or where did you learn? We started with yoga and then she got involved with meditation, but yeah, it was very hippie. We became vegetarian. And so friends did laugh at us. You know, we did eat lentils and it was that stereotypical hippie

yeah it's interesting how your life evolves and I do remember around the early 90s looking at my all books on the bookshelf and just saying okay I've got books about children I've got books about fairy stories because I also used to do pantomime so I really studied fairy stories and meditation and so I just put all those things together and created a business on all my passions basically and I think that's a really lovely way of looking at it that's how we build our business, really, our passion, our purpose. Did you do some YouTubes with your fairy tale story meditations? We did very early on. We turned one of the books into a little DVD and we made some videos. And there's one, I think it's magic fairy dust, where you sprinkle the fairy dust and then your

hands disappear and relax and there was another one oh floating on a cloud but that wasn't the fairy tale one that was my little one was like four or five I started to search for little kid meditations on YouTube I was wondering I was like I wonder if that was one of them. Ended up being a nightly thing for her. And we would listen to guided meditations and they were, they were fun stories for children. She loved them. And now she's just so used to having that. She calls it meditation music, but it's just like a spa music, but she can't sleep without it now. I mean, it's just like a spa music but she can't sleep without it now I mean that's just lovely isn't it over the years there are so many children who have parents come back and say I'm

sick of the sound of your voice we go to sleep I'm hearing it on in the hallway every single night parents will have it on a loop so when the child wakes up in the middle of the night, they will go back to sleep. And the other day I met, he must've been about 18. He was going for a job in a pub and his mother's friend knew me. She said, do you remember that CD I gave you like 15, 16 years ago? And then I said, close your eyes, Beaver.

And he went, oh my goodness, I still use. Yeah, I still, so many still use the CD. You know, I think it's an important time right now to explain also to our listeners that if you don't have children, do not turn this episode off because there is a lot to be learned here, not only about children, but she has teen programs. And you want to know what I listened to one this morning and brought up the inner child in me. And it felt like a magical place to be. So I don't feel like it's only geared towards children. Then I thought about the elderly too. They can really benefit from this talking of adults I have just released adult cds and mp3s tea break to help you calm down and then coffee break to give you a boost do you have children yourself no you just

saw my little child I have yes I did walking behind you with four legs. Yeah, I have a four legged child. Yeah, I didn't really want him. But now I love him. But no, I have never had children. But somehow, because I've always worked with children, I was studying to be a teacher. And then I've been doing pantomimes for 25 years. I just seem to know what children need. Maybe it's because I give them what I felt I didn't have as a child. You have lots of children. Yeah. Millions, millions now. Yeah. Yeah. This is incredible. I absolutely love it. So this is a program as well that people can actually add into their schools and which Mandy and I have always said these kids need this in the schools. Absolutely. Yes. So 20 years ago, there was literally no mindfulness in schools. And so what I decided to do alongside the CDs and books, I created this program and I noticed your logo, the seven colors of the rainbow,

well with relaxed kids it's the same. So what we do is we take children through seven steps to relaxation. So they start with moving and then they play, they stretch, they massage each other, they breathe, they do affirmations and then they go into their head and they do visualizations. So actually, we're working up through their natural energy system. We're working through the chakras. And again, 20 years ago, when I created this system, I did not know anything about the chakras. Really? No. Three years later, I was flying on an airplane and I read a book on the chakras.

And I thought, hang on, this seven steps follows the chakras. And I thought, this is amazing. Yeah. But it was completely, it was a total fluke. And that's hands on heart. I don't think anyone would believe me. Your soul knew what to do. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I love that so hands on heart. I don't think anyone would believe me. Your soul knew what to do. Yeah. Yeah.

I love that so much. Yeah. We'd laugh and we say I'm still in the closet about chakras because I don't want to scare any parents or teachers. Unfortunately, yes, I know. Yeah. Yeah. So we don't make such a big thing of it, but we say it works with children's natural energy system. And we use the colors of the rainbow. And, you know, people put two and two together if they're inclined. But I thought I'd mention it because I'm looking at your logo.

I was going to ask you. I was going to ask you if they were based on the chakras because I saw that the seven levels of happiness. Yes. That's awesome. What are the seven levels of happiness? Yeah. So red is move. So that's awesome what are the seven levels of happiness yeah so red is move so that's like grounding then play for the creativity and joy chakra and then stretching is the solar plexus

massage is the heart breathing is the throat chakra affirmations and then visualizations i do a training i train up people to learn this method so they can teach these classes my coaches have children who are literally scaling the walls and they're running all over the place but somehow by going through their natural energy system they will be lying down almost sleeping if not not sleeping. Whereas if you told a child when they're in this high energy state to lie down, relax, or meditate, they would find it incredibly difficult. So working through their natural energy makes a massive difference. Whoa. That must explain why whenever my daughter's like bouncing off the walls and calm down come on she literally cannot do it i need to realize that there's steps to get her there

i like that yeah i loved on your video that i watched on these classes that you explain what each thing does so stretching you explain and the massage, how you explained that it teaches them empathy. Yeah, the massage, it really helps children get in touch with what each other needs. Having a massage is really good for you, as we know, for our muscles. When you move skin, you move the skin over like a dog or a cat it releases endorphins and so when we're massaging each other's back it feels nice and it helps that social interaction and helps children feel good but also feel good being in each other's company and unfortunately now with what's happened with this year and covid these things are all being taken away, you know, touching.

And touch is so, so important for nervous system. Like animals need it and we need it just like animals. Our classes have had to be adapted this year. And so children are in their bubbles and there isn't so much touch depending on the situation depending on the school depending on the area but yeah I was thinking that if I were to watch that and try it at home with my daughter you know then she could massage her sibling and we could create that space by just tweaking it a little absolutely yes and Ken's least been massaging us forever you know i'm a massage therapist so kids

like to do what their parents do but yeah amazing i massage my dog all the time and he absolutely loves it i just wish i could have one back but you know hey i think that this kind of practice is also very important to do with your child because it's a beautiful bonding experience to do this with adult and child absolutely yeah yeah really love we also encourage families to get together once a week and have like a family relaxation and make a calm corner and in one of my books I think it's called how to be happy there are various activities like that. You make your calm corner and then do all the lovely activities from the book. Once a week, do different things. And it's really about spending quality time, which I think in a way this year is allowing people to do

more of because parents are at home more, not rushing around, really make use of it. It's the best opportunity. We'll never come around again. Why do people need to relax? Why is that important? Yeah, well, we know stress is not good for us. And we know we are all with work and what's going on, we are in quite an anxious state. So relaxing has lots of different levels. When we're relaxed, it helps our body. So our muscles can relax and they feel better. We know how it feels when our muscles are tight and tense, we don't feel so good. Also, when we're relaxed, what we're doing is we're actually calming the nervous system down. That vagus nerve that wraps around all our organs, right from our head all the way down.

Relaxation really tones that vagus nerve, which just makes us feel so much better. So, yeah, physically we feel better. Mentally, we feel calmer, but also more alert when we're relaxed as well alert in a clear clarity type way emotionally we feel happier and more able to interact in a better way so when parents are relaxed they're able to manage that relationship with each other but also with their children and also emotionally mentally and if you want to go higher spiritually as well when we relax we're just able to find that space of peace inside all of our body mind emotions and relationships relaxing I think it really is the key to life yeah you know the reason I ask that is because I think like there's misconception that you can't relax but yet still be moving you can't relax and get things done you can't be present in the moment and be

planning it was hard for me to wrap my head around at first too. But what you just explained is it's about coming from that relaxed state, but yet still being able to go about your day. Yes. I remember in the early nineties, I had a friend who would drive me to college and I would always arrive and he would be doing his chanting and so he'd come out of his chanting and he'd be all like this or really relaxed and then he'd have massive road rage on the way to every single time and it was like made me tickle inside but you know at least he there was that you know it's a it's a working progress yeah it's like yes we are going to react but then hopefully over time the triggers and that reaction will be less and less and we'll just learn just to stop and breathe because we

know it doesn't feel so nice right yeah when my dad passed a few years ago he needed a new heart years and years and years of stress, anxiety. He had no tools. No one had ever, you know, taught him anything. And I had the same. So I was on medication at a very young age. But here's the thing. If you teach these kids these tools when they're young, I mean, we're talking about saving

people years of therapy and stress because it's going to become up just a part of their lives and they'll know how to breathe. My eight-year-old can breathe better than most adults. And that's why we need to start young. We're starting this with pregnant women. So we're starting with babies in the womb and they're doing the seven steps. The mother is doing it and the father, of course. But then when they come out, we have a program, Baby Mindful, that they start literally straight away as a newborn up until 18 months, where they're going through the seven steps with the parent and in a really lovely, calm, gentle way.

So, yeah, starting young young children are like sponges when we were younger our parents didn't realize how much babies pick up when they're in the womb and so they know that they pick up on the emotions of the mother and they absolutely do so if mothers can get into a state of relaxation and calm then their, and very often in these classes, it's more about teaching the mother just to be more relaxed and calm. And then the babies just start following suit. Yeah. So yes, starting as young as you can. I admire that you came up with this idea years ago when people were laughing in your face. What gave you that fire in your soul to just keep on going no matter what people were saying? Well, one, I'd spent all my money.

Yeah. It was just like, I knew that this was the most important thing. Relaxing children is the most important thing. It's like now, I'm sure in the US as well in the UK because of all this anxiety the education authorities are realizing that mental health needs to go top of the agenda whereas before they were going oh no we haven't got time to relax children we need to do maths and english well children cannot learn when they're in a state of anxiety if if you shout at a child to learn learn

learn they instantly go into fight or flight freeze form state and nothing is going in you know when you're in a stress state you can can't hear anything when your ears are pumping with blood. This is so important. And I guess I just knew, I just knew in my soul and spirit that this is the most important thing children need. And I knew before everyone else knew. I love that you trusted yourself. And it was interesting because I went on Dragon's Den, as you say, which is the equivalent of Shark Tank. And I was explaining to them what I do. They didn't get it. This is 2005. I was on Dragon's Den. And at one point, one of them said to me, what's your big dream? And I said, well, because I'm in theatre, my big dream would be

to put on theatre shows for children for free so they could come and relax and enjoy it and he said oh is this what you want to do with relaxed kids do you want to do it for free and I said well that's interesting I didn't set up this company to make lots of money I set it up to make a social change and they just said did you say you didn't want to make any money how can we invest in a company that doesn't want to make a social change. And they just said, did you say you didn't want to make any money? How can we invest in a company that doesn't want to make money? So I didn't get any investment, but it didn't matter because it never been about that. It's been about making a difference, making a social change. You know, that I had to have heard that they didn't invest in you,

but at the same time, your heart has always been in the right place. It's never been about money for you. It's been about just helping others and that social change. So I have a heart of gold. Thank you. To this day, I remember crying on the way home. The taxi took me to the train and I just got on that train and I just burst into tears because I'd been really mocked. They were very mocking. I hate to say this and but I'm going to put it out there. Your solution for social change does not make doctors and pharmaceuticals money because you're actually giving a solution for a lot of those things. So doesn't surprise me. You're putting a huge dent in big pharma in the future. Well, yes, they'll be after me, won't they? Yeah, right. I may have read on Facebook or something, you said the word kindfulness.

Yes. Kindfulness. Those people needed to be practicing kind, kind to themselves, kind to others, kind to our children, kind to our animals, real sense of community. Hannah, oh my God, that is so beautiful. I just got the chills all over my body. It says, kindfulness is something innate in us for our survival as species. We also can cultivate being kind to ourselves and teach our young ones that this is important. Yes, absolutely. Alongside relaxation, I would put kindfulness and other values higher up than maths and English. What are we as humans if we're not kind, if we're not living with good values? You can have all the letters after your name in the world, but if you're not kind, not just being kind,

it's having emotional literacy, which is understanding our emotions, getting in touch with how I'm feeling and then being able to express, I'm feeling really hurt. I'm feeling really sad. Faith to be able to share and feel that because otherwise when we don't know what it is, we don't say anything. We just keep it inside.

I just explained this to Ken Slee yesterday. My daughter, she's eight. She was trying not to cry. And I said, no, let We just keep it inside. I just explained this to Kinsley yesterday. My daughter, she's eight. She was trying not to cry. And I said, no, let it, let it out. Let it out, Kinsley. You know, I think about how many times we're just saying, don't cry. It's okay. No, cry.

It's okay. Absolutely. And especially boys. You see, men have been told not to cry. And so they just stuff it down inside. Then that hurt can turn up into anger. In fact, you know, if somebody triggers them, actually, they're hurt. And they're sad. Well, for all of us, and it will show as anger, and then you don't really know what to do about it. I loved in that definition of kindfulness you reminded humanity that being kind is innate lately the way the word be kind is thrown out it's like people feel like they have to work at it that it's something they have to strive to do so the reminder that it's there that it's innate that that it's innate, that that is part of love. That's part of what we are born with.

We just have to bring awareness back to that into our society and into ourselves. Absolutely. And two things. One is the importance of kindness to the self. You know, it's not just about making lots of cookies and giving them to the neighbors. And, you know, we can be incredibly kind and incredibly charitable to lots of people but how kind are we to ourselves what are our thoughts to ourselves I mean I can be awful you know we say things to ourselves that we wouldn't say to our best friend and so you know

I'm now working really on this and I've got affirmations on my mirror and I'm saying lovely things to myself. The other thing is I was going to say there's an amazing book by Dr. David Hamilton on the science of kindness, something like that. And he talks about the effect that kindness has on our body. Yeah. Did you him I did yes I text Shanna this morning and I said I want him on our podcast because I love how he looks into the science behind kindness I thought you were going to say I love how he looks well yes that too yes I have to have him well yeah in fact we have just the other day they say please can we have him for our conference next time no but he really is an amazing scientist and he used to work in big

pharma and then he moved out he realized some things were not making sense and then he's really started researching kindness and the power of thought you You know what? I think we may have even referenced him in our Love Oxytocin episode, Mandy. He sounds so very familiar. You know what? When you are very kind, especially a man, that is very attractive. So if he was an asshole, he probably wouldn't be so cute. Right? Oh no. But that's the thing. You can see the kindness. It's like when there is somebody kind, a person who's kind doesn't even need to speak. It just oozes out of them. Speaking of kind, I heard on your Facebook, you read a poem. It's called Be Kind. It wasn't even over yet. And I stopped and I messaged you right away. And I asked you if you would read this poem because

it just was very touching. Would love for you to share with the world I asked you if you would read this poem because it just was very touching. I would love for you to share with the world that poem if you don't mind. Absolutely yeah so this is mine it's called Be Kind. Be kind, be kind to each person that you meet, be kind to one another on the street, each fighting their own battle, the tittle-tattle, internal rattle, the never-ending clatter of things that just don't matter. Unflattering chatter, shattering grey matter with mindless natter. Oh yes, please be kind. I beg of you, be kind. Be kind to the woman who cuts you up on your way to work. Be kind to the woman who cuts you up on your way to work.

Be kind to the woman who cuts you off in a meeting. Be kind to the woman who cuts up your conversations during lunch. Be kind to the woman who cuts into you on your way home. Her mind is a million miles away, sunk in her yesterday. Her thoughts are racing, no hesitating. be kind to each woman that you meet, you have no idea what's going on, her internal dialogue, no, no monologue, no duologue, no flash mob, yes flash mob, a flash mob of voices resounding in her head, joining forces, crowding, hoarding and taking over any sense of logic, but filling her with self-doubt, self-hatred and low self-worth.

It's a great big dirty careless van with a reckless driver crashing through her mind, destroying anything good. Be kind to the girl before you hurl abuse with your eyes at the size of her thighs, judging her for eating her pies and her fries. Be kind because she is unable to be kind to herself. The virus of self-abuse, festering, vegetating, transmuting, generating as the hatred is mutilating. A virus more dangerous than Ebola, more virulent than SARS, AIDS and Corona, Corona unaided multiplies fast, contaminating, generating hate. A hate so strong, yes, I'll repeat that for you mate. A hate so strong, hate turning on its host. Internal bloodshed all within her head.

So be kind, be kind kind for this woman's child within is crying from lack of care. The child who managed to survive from being deprived. This poor child lived without attention, affection and affirmation. Be kind to her, be kind to her, please be kind to her, for she is inside you, do you see, be kind to her. That's unbelievable, thank you, pleasure. Man, that is powerful. It is a work in progress, being kind to ourself because of all the thoughts and words that we say to ourself. You know, it is that inner child that didn't have that love that we've learned not to love ourselves. And so I guess coming back to relax kids, it a full circle this is what I'm teaching I'm helping children I'm helping adults teach children how to have that self-care and self-love yeah and that's

why it's so important so we've got the next generation growing up being kind to their selves yeah thank you again That was so powerful. Now I want to jump to your packs that you put together on your website. I love that you have an anger management pack. People feel like they're a bad human if they get angry. So I love that you have that anger management pack. I love that you have a self-esteem pack. What other packs do you have? We've got a monster pack, which is great, which helps children because it's taken from a book that I wrote, again, while I was in college, about 14 different emotions that children have, which are all normal, to help them make friends with their monsters. So we've given each monster a little, it's like a shape and a colour, and then they start to identify and really make friends with those monsters, and then use all the different tools to manage those monsters. So it's not that they've got to try and get rid of them,

they're not scary, it's just like, here are our monsters, Let's play. Let's interact with them. And there's a self-esteem pack. There's a concentration pack. Anger management, which is emotional regulation. Yes, anger is really important. But, you know, there are times where we just need to cool it down and giving children the tools. And anxiety and worry pack. That's the other one. And alongside those packs, I've got the MP3s. There's an anxiety and worry pack. That's the other one. And alongside those packs, I've got the MP3s,

there's an anxiety and worry MP3, there's an anger management MP3, self-esteem with lots of affirmations. So if children are in a relaxed state, all the things will sort themselves out, like anger management, you know, their anxieties will soften, their emotional high states will soften, sleeping will improve, etc. So it wouldn't matter which one you get for which issue. But I have given categories to specifically look at the different aspects of what children may need or different problems or issues, if you like. You can print these out, correct? Yes, you can print out the MP3s you can listen to. I mentioned the fairy tale book at the

beginning, which is Aladdin's Magic Carpet. I've made that fairy tale book into some MP3s. We're always creating. That's our problem. Create too many things. That's Shannon and I's problem too. And then we're always creating that's our problem create too many things that's shannon i's problem too and then we're always trying to catch up i wanted to talk about these coaches because i went into you have a lot of coaches we're talking some phenomenal people with some amazing educational backgrounds and master's degrees so how do you find these people how do our listeners get in touch with a specific one? Or do they interview to see who fits them best? I don't go finding them.

People find me. That's one thing with Relax Kids. We've hardly, hardly advertised. It's always been word of mouth. And if I think if something works and it's good, people will tell their friends. So that's one thing. And so anyone who is interested can learn to become a coach. And in England, we have like a postcode thing where you put in your postcode to find your nearest coach.

Obviously, where you are, there are going to be a lot less coaches because we are at the moment not out there as much. But some of our coaches do offer online classes. So you can find an online class. No problem. Someone from the United States wanted to become a coach for Relax Kids. They would just need to contact you. Just go on the website, download the pack, do a little bit of reading. We have a lovely Facebook group called Relax Kids Training Courses that say you'll get loads of

updates on all the new things that we're doing, all the creative stuff there. I love it. I love it. I hope that some of our listeners out there that are here in the States take advantage of that because this program needs to be here. I will also say, if you come to be a Relaxed Kids coach, there are so many different things that you can do. You can teach little stars classes, which we've adapted for kindergarten. Then you can teach the normal magical adventure classes for the five to nine year olds. Chill skills for the pre-teens, teens. You can teach just relax classes for adults. So you can actually teach adults these in a very adult way. Even you mentioned elderly people. We do just relax for elderly.

You can take just relax into schools for teachers, well-being and also corporate so there are so many different things that you can do as a relaxed kids coach and then if you really like working with teenagers we've got our charge up program which is it really is all about how to it's everything teens need to live a good life like things that we were not taught to be a good human being. So sleep hygiene, how to have relationships, the art of consent, and all that is in the CHARGE UP program. Oh my God, that sounds amazing. I didn't get to dive into that. I didn't realize it consisted of those kinds of topics. Yeah. You know, who needs this right now is the hospitals and the nurses. Yeah. A lot of my friends that have dealt with patients with COVID are really struggling with

motivation and trauma and emotions. One thing I will say, the latest book that I've just got out, it's called Power Up. You know, the gym program, HIIT, H-I-I-t high intensive interval training well i've created a program for the mind high intensive high intensive interval training for the mind so it's hit for the mind and it's a tiny little pocketbook with a program where teenagers and adults can do these very quick, simple brain presses and very quick little exercises for the mind. That's brilliant. Yeah. You know, because some people think that it's going to be, you know, like this whole thing where you're in this beautiful space takes like hours. But really, I mean, you can practice mindfulness throughout your entire day. I always tell my clients and students, you know, five minutes is better than 20 minutes. The whole concept of, you know, mindfulness has become a bit commercial in a way.

You've got to have the crystal. You've got to have the incense. You've got to have the proper clothes and the proper setting. And, you know, really true mindfulness is wherever you are as you say whether you're on a bus whether you're at the gym whether you're in bed whether you're cooking your food for your family or talking or even arguing if you can learn to argue mindfully we're busy especially moms and children so you got to take what you could get I mean I know Mandy now we used to always like we'd be waiting for kids to get out of school and that was like our

time to meditate absolutely you just wrote a book I think it was in the last year it was called the Imaginarium which is the place of the imagination now this is really interesting so I wanted to create meditations for teens that make use of all the tech stuff in their lives so if you imagine the imaginarium is in your mind and in your mind there are lots of corridors and to different rooms and there are different chambers in your mind and whatever problem you have there is a chamber that solves that or helps solve that problem so let's say there's the chamber of creativity and you go into that door of the chamber of creativity and there may be in the meditation there's a screen and you write and left swipe things. There are buttons for them to press and it's all in their imagination, but they're doing

technological things in their imagination. Brilliant. Where did you come up with that? But like I know with my first book, I wrote it in a very short space of time. Within about three hours, it just came, you know, you know really really quickly my hand was just writing generally once I've got an idea I'm there and I do it usually my ideas come in the shower girls in the office every day like I've got I've just had a shower I've had an idea and they go oh no because very often I will have an idea and by the afternoon we've managed to make it into a product or we've actioned it

funny I always tell people that whenever I'm in the shower is when spirits come to talk to me and have messages for loved ones oh yeah absolutely if I need to stop taking baths then start getting in the shower I do have a notebook a waterproof notebook in my shower. Put it up on the wall with a waterproof pencil and you can write notes. You have to tell me where to get that. It was just on Amazon, a shower notebook. You want to know what I do? I yell at my husband. I'm like, babe, get my phone, get my phone.

And he brings me my phone. I've got my hands hanging out and I'm putting in my notes, everything. Now you get one of these shower notebooks. And then the other thing is I've got those shower heads that changes color if this is my place where I get my ideas I'm gonna make my bathroom the place of magic you know that you have touched and changed so many lives and these children that have been around you have been so blessed with your just spirit and energy. But not just me. The coaches have completely changed lives.

And also they say that when they do the training, their lives completely change because their family situation, they learn how to relax themselves. They're better getting on with their family. They're more in touch with their own inner child. They've got that sense of kindness, their family relax, and then they're doing what they love. You know, these coaches are not only living a life

where they're passionate about their work, they're fulfilling their purpose, but they are making a massive change, but they're also happy and they're doing just amazing things. So it's not just, yeah, it's not just me. And we're a real family. Coaches have made friends for life. You know, it's a really lovely family. Yeah. I read that very heartfelt tribute to your friend on your Facebook that passed

away. And I cried because I could feel your love for her and how close you guys were yeah I mean really Anna she was one of my amazing trainers she had a stroke in March we were just about to record with her the online training and then she started making an incredible recovery she was so determined and then four months later she had another stroke and she left us and obviously she's needed somewhere else you know that's the way I but yet she was an incredible person and the thing is she was such an incredible advocate for relaxed kids she she stood up to professionals who were like top professionals saying,

we need this for mental health. And she goes, no, you need Relaxed Kids because Relaxed Kids covers the mind and the body and the feelings, the emotions. It's not just about being in the head. And she was incredible. Yeah. Yeah. It was a beautiful tribute to her. I was very fortunate to speak at her funeral and I placed a purple feather because purple is our color a purple feather on her coffin so when her coffin went into the earth it went with a purple feather so beautiful yeah I'm so sorry for your loss that's hard well you know we do this thing at the end of all of our episodes. It's called break that shit down. And I think, if you don't mind, to speak to the parents who are stressed and what maybe they could do for their children during this remote learning time.

Aunts and uncles with nieces and nephews or anyone in the community that is around children and now it's time for break that shit down okay so number one i would most definitely try to be looking to get some sort of regular relaxation ritual and make it fun. The most important thing when you're working with children, it needs to be fun. So create a lovely den, a corner, a relaxed space that you go to. Well, ideally, you go to yourself regularly, and then your family, and then doing some very simple relaxation exercises. Yeah, there are a couple on the Relax Kids YouTube channel, and or Facebook, you can have a look on the Relax Kids Facebook group. But doing things like getting children to imagine they're sinking

into the ground or they're floating like a feather or breathing on feathers. The one where you imagine you're sprinkling invisibility dust of relaxation on your fingers and just going through each of the fingers, the hands, the arm, That's an autogenic relaxation where you go through each body part. Definitely making sure lots of extra hugs and cuddles and affirmations, writing affirmations on walls, on mirrors. You know, years ago, I had wrote in glitter affirmations all over my bathroom wall. So they were just there. You see them every day. So find ways to bring those positive words.

And the more they see them, the more they write them, the more they hear them. They just see into the consciousness. Having time before eating just to stop yes give thanks be grateful and eating mindfully and breathe lots of breathing exercises so you know you say your daughter knows how to breathe yeah we need all children to be able to learn breathing right the way down into their toes rather than just into the shoulders which really helps calm the nervous system down and I do have I'm sure there is a calm pack on the website the Relax Kids website and something like that is really good with some exercises to help doing something calming and relaxing.

So those would be my top tips. So one more time, just throw out to our listeners where they can find you. Yes, relaxkids.com. Instagram is relax underscore kids. Twitter, relax kids. And Facebook at relax kids official kids official well thank you so much yes it's been a pleasure thank you take care thanks for being with us today we hope you will come back next week if you like what you hear

don't forget to rate like and subscribe thank you we rise to lift you up thanks for listening