Sense of Soul - The Power of Now

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

Today on Sense of Soul podcast we have another one of my dear friends with me, Dixie Chubb. She is a Massage Therapist and Reiki Master who has touch many lives through her work. Our paths crossed years ago, when I had the pleasure of working with her at a local spa here in Colorado. Years ago I had recommended the book The New Earth, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle to Dixie and like it was life changing for myself, it was for Dixie as well. Which led her to explore the concepts of stoicism, non-attachment, and the power of NOW. Dixie’s journey has been one of self-discovery and growth, and she has been kind enough to share her story with us on today’s episode. Dixie shares losing her mother at a young age, and reflects on the beautiful example of love and kindness her mother demonstrated in her life, and what an inspiration she was. Over the years Dixie has found many tools that have helped her to heal, grow and bloom over the years, and she hopes that her story can touch others in the same way. If you’re interested in contacting Dixie, looking for a fabulous massage therapist or Reiki practitioner in Denver Metro area, you can email her at [e-mail]. Learn more about Sense of Soul Podcast: https://www.senseofsoulpodcast.com Check out the NEW affiliate deals! https://www.mysenseofsoul.com/sense-of-soul-affiliates-page

Hello, my soul-seeking friends. It's Shanna. Thank you so much for listening to Sense of Soul podcast. Enlightening conversations with like-minded souls from around the world, sharing their journey of finding their light within, turning pain into purpose, and awakening to their true sense of soul. If you like what you hear, show me some love and rate, like, and subscribe. And consider becoming a Sense of Soul. If you like what you hear, show me some love and rate, like, and subscribe. And consider becoming a Sense of Soul Patreon member, where you will get ad-free episodes, monthly circles, and much more. Now go grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Today on Sense of Soul, I have another one of my dear friends with me, Dixie Chubb. Dixie has not

only been a coworker, she has also been a student, and moreover, she is a great friend and the best massage therapist I know. Years ago, I had recommended the book, The New Earth, Power of Now to Dixie, and like it was life-changing for myself, it was for her as well, which led her to explore the concepts of stoicism, non-attachment, and the power of being in the present moment. Dixie had found that these tools had helped her to grow, and it has been beautiful to watch her bloom over the years. And she's joining us today to share her journey and to talk about what her favorite quote says, enlightenment is the intentional stopping of brain stuffs. So please welcome my dear friend, Dixie. I love that. Well, thank you so much, Dixie,

for being with me. Yeah. Thank you for having me, Shanna. I'm really excited to share my journey with everyone and especially how you've been a part of that for sure. Yeah. I love that quote, enlightenment is the intentional stopping of brain stuffs. Can you tell me why you love that so much? Because I know for myself, I mean, it's really hard to shut off my brain. I think that it is for a lot of people. And that's really where my journey with enlightenment began. People think that enlightenment is just this like, aha moment where you're just suddenly like awakened. And definitely the more I've gone through this, the more I realize like it is a journey and it is something that you have to work at every day. One of the first things where I started to awaken is I would be driving and I would be sitting like at a red light and I would suddenly realize I would have like anxiety or I

would be really sad or really mad or just upset in some way. And so I would start retracing my thoughts and I would realize that I was thinking about something that wasn't relevant to the present moment. I was either thinking about something in my past or something, you know, that could potentially happen in my future. And then in those moments, I would bring myself back to being present and, you know, realizing that in the present moment, everything is okay. It's all good. And I have a lot of things to be thankful for and just try to redirect my thoughts. Around that time is when I met you and you introduced me to the book, The Power of Now. That book honestly transformed my life in so many ways. That book really touches on stoicism. What is stoicism to you? Stoicism to me is everyone has bad things happen to them and everyone has good things happen to them. But

it's really, you know, taking those bad moments. Take, for example, like you get a flat tire, you can probably in your mind, think of a hundred different people's reactions to that. Some extremely negative to some who would just say, oh, shoot, you know, now I just have to go and take care of this. Like it just is what it is. And so I think that stoicism is just kind of gaining control of your brain. I feel like it's become like more of a recent thing that a lot of people have been exploring is this idea of stoicism. Yeah. A very similar example. Drew's alarm was going off and I mean, it was crazy. He was like, this is how my day's going to go. This is how my day is going to go the whole

time. And I was like, I guess if, yeah, that's how you want your day to go. It's so interesting how we'll put ourselves right into chaos even more than what's going on around us. Exactly. Yeah. I definitely agree with that. The biggest thing I took away from that book is whether you believe in, you know, a true heaven or hell, you know, an afterlife, what's happening right now is the present moment. And you can absolutely choose whether you live this life and heaven or hell, depending on your reaction to things, you know, or, you know, how well you control your mind and don't let that monkey mind or the ego run away with your brain. Because at the end of the day, the ego does not care.

If you're happy, the ego cares about itself. It cares about it being justified and your mind is going to work whether you're present or not. And when you're present, you shut that down. But when your monkey mind is just going in your ego is trying to justify past actions and you're stuck in the past and just like when you think about like past things and just try to justify your actions or your ego is trying to protect you and think about future situations, which like if you worry about future things, like you're only making yourself suffer twice and don't even come to fruition right it's like worrying about stuff that you can't go back and change and worrying about things that haven't even come right so they don't even exist like really in time and space there that it's just like right here this is the only sure thing exactly yeah and when you make that space to be able to listen and pause, and then you get to make this choice, you realize, wow, I actually have control over this moment. My emotions don't have to control what I'm about to do or say or react. It's such a power.

I agree. It really is such a power. And that's probably, there it goes with the title, the power of love. Exactly. Really is a power, almost like a superpower. You look at those people who, I just watched a video the other day about somebody giving an example of like, if you squeeze an orange, orange juices kind of come out. What happens when someone squeezes you? What happens when someone puts you under pressure? What's going to come out of you? You know, is it going to be control and kindness and a good reaction? Or is it going to be a very yucky reaction? You know, that in the end makes

you feel worse. You know, I think also what's amazing is that you realize you're doing it and you also start to realizing outside of you how many other people are doing it. I just explained that situation with my son. No, exactly. You do start to wake up and realize that. And I feel like that book was also very powerful in helping me forgive people in my life, just different things that have happened in my life. Another quote that I came across kind of in my journey that really like was just, you know, hard hitting it's, you know, you have forgiven someone when they can pass through your mind unharmed. Yeah. And that for me is just, you know, that really hits home with, you know, when people say forgiveness is for yourself, it really is, you know, when you

think about someone who's wronged you say in the past, you know, what are your thoughts running through your head at that moment? Are you just completely bashing that person in your head? You know, or are you just, you know, letting kind of them just pass through your mind and just not even really giving them much of a thought or if anything, just giving them, you know, like, I hope this person is okay. And that is, I think, a large part of, you know, starting to control your brain. Dixie, when I first met you, you do have such a sweet, sweet soul. I just, I adore you. I love you so much, but you were holding on to a lot. You were almost protecting it. That's how I felt that you were protecting these things within you, but I feel like your soul was nudging you to go on this

journey. Oh yes, absolutely. You know, my mom, she passed away when I was 18 from non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and she fought it for 14 years, which is incredible looking back, you know, now that I'm an adult, how much she really fought. That was a lot as she went through chemo multiple times and a lot of remission and stuff. And a lot of this has been almost like in her honor because at her funeral, there was like only standing room. There were so many people at her funeral. And what I remember, like in a lot of the days following is like people just saying like, you know, your mom was always so kind. She was always so positive no matter what she was going through, you know, she was going through a really bad round of chemo, you know, she was just always there for other people, always calling them

and checking in on them. And so for me, like kind of just going down this journey is I feel like kind of honoring her a lot too. Yeah. That must've been hard. How long was she sick in your life? So she was diagnosed when I was four years old. Wow. So she was sick most of your life. She was. Yeah. And the most incredible thing is my kindergarten teacher actually attended her funeral. That just goes to show you how much of an impact she really had on people that she even kept, you know, in touch with my kindergarten teacher all those years later. And my kindergarten teacher said that the first thing my mom told her was that she had just been diagnosed, you know, with cancer, but that she would see her daughter graduate. And she passed away the summer after I graduated. So. That's amazing, actually. I didn't know that.

Yeah. My mom was just an amazing person. I would have made that same agreement. Yes. I wish you could have met her. I would have made that same agreement. Yes. I wish you could have met her. You would have really liked her. But, you know, I definitely got a little bit of my dad's temper for sure. And so, you know, for me, it's been trying to like kind of following what my mom did, you know, just always being kind. And were you mad?

I mean, when you talk about getting your having your dad's temper, it that, or was it just that you're mad that she was gone? No, I mean, I definitely obviously went through quite a bit when she passed away. It was not a very good age to have a parent pass away. You know, obviously it never is, but that transition from, you know, being a teenager to being like pretty much thrown into adulthood into a really, you know, in a rough way was not a good time in my life, but no, I definitely have a temper for sure. And you're like, no, I'm owning this. You can chalk it up to maybe being an Aries, but okay, there you go. Oh, that explains Kinsley's on the cusp of Aries. So I'm going to have to do some more research on that. Is she on the cusp of Aries and Taurus because she always says like, I don't know why I'm so angry. And I definitely give her the space to

be because I mean, anger is just an emotion, just like sadness. Yeah, exactly. And I feel like, honestly, like the most, when my temper comes out the most, it's like when I see someone being bullied or something really wrong that for me is just an injustice. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's a good way to use it. If you're going to anyways, I've never, I don't think I've ever seen you angry. I've seen you complexed, but I've never seen you like turn bright red. I don't think, which I think you were definitely justified in doing so. But I think that you always carry yourself also with such dignity, which I love about you. I've seen you in a lot of different challenging moments and you keep your composure. That is very, very true. And yes,

you have seen me through quite a few changes in my life. And yeah, you know, I feel like I've always tried to be, you know, a glass is half full kind of person and always try to find, you know, the positive and even negative situations. And you're always exactly where you're supposed to be. You know, whatever is happening to you, you know, it's only temporary. And again, you know, you can choose how you react and choose how you go through life. Being able to listen to your thoughts and hear them and in that space to use how you're going to react. I mean, all that is almost like a method that at the beginning you have to consciously use

and do. And then now it does become a little bit more natural, but you still have to work on it. You absolutely do still have to work on it because there's always challenges and always challenging people for sure. Yeah. Then if someone cuts me off, my first thoughts are like, you son of a biscuit. And then all of a sudden I'm making space and I'm like, well, maybe he's in a hurry because his child's at the hospital and he's taking his last breath and you don't know what's going on. So just take a deep breath, Shanna. You can get wherever you're going. It's totally fine. Let him in. And the more you practice it, the more, you know, you really start to live in that present moment more and more and

more. And you start to, you know, kind of just that it is that true death of the ego. And I think the other point I wanted to talk about today too, was, you know, a huge revelation I had about karma as well. You know, something that I always struggled with, you know, is people will be like, Oh, you know, I hope that person gets their karma, you know, and a lot of people will just take whatever is happening bad to somebody and be like, Oh, that's their karma. I always just would go back to my mom and just be like, you know, my mom was diagnosed with this horrific disease, you know, that she fought for 14 years and was that really karma for her because she never let it affect her, you know? And so for me, I just kind of had this moment at one point during this journey of like, you know, whether you believe in past life karma

or, you know, that karma is action or like you do something bad and something bad is going to happen to you. You know, karma really is that true. Like, are you going to live in heaven or hell? Like that is your karma. And driving is a perfect example. You can see someone, you know, just in a hurry. Like, I love those people who will, you know, zoom around you and then next to them at a red light. And it's like, okay, it's easier to let those moments pass instead of being like, oh, you know, you son of a bitch.

Like just saying like, I feel really bad that you're living in that state of mind. Yeah. I've kind of connected with that a little bit, even just over the past few days. It's like, and I know a lot of people drink a lot and scout all the time. I mean, you can call it karma in some way, but really it's just the life that you are living and the results are responding to the life you live. And this could be for good or bad. Exactly. Yeah. And then you just think, you know, like too, how much, you know, your state of mind affects your body. We know that. Yeah, absolutely. Just that energy. And you, you know, had me go through the Reiki training and everything. And that is just so powerful, like that true, you know, mental to body connection for people. Yeah. So how powerful, I mean, I think you and I went on similar journeys as in steps of our

realizations, like for me, power of now, like I had read it like a few times early on and it was like, I made that space in my head and I realized, you know, there were these two aspects of Shanna. One was a shit talker and the other one was, you know, had compassion. And then I think because of that space, I was able to open up to, whoa, what's going on in my body? What are, how is my body reacting to the environment around me and to, you know, negative energies that I'm letting in my house and, you know, talking to on the phone and working on clients. I think you and I both can attest to that being a massage therapist. A lot of times we're just rubbing people's stress and

it's not really working. There's something deeper. Yes, absolutely. I agree. There's been, you know, ever since I went through the regular training, there's been many times Yes, absolutely. I agree. There's been, you know, ever since I went through the Reiki training, there's been many times where, you know, you can just tell that there's something wrong, like with someone, you know, like they're just struggling with something else. That's not, you know, necessarily their body. It's just affecting their body. Yeah. People, especially these days are very short of breath. You know, that really,

the breath is so powerful and also part of, you know, enlightenment, I feel like, because it's a tool, like you can draw on that breath when you're having those moments of where your ego is just completely running away with you, where you can stop and breathe and realize, like, you know, take some deep breaths in that calming moment. I feel like a lot of people are waking up to that too. Me too. My last client, she's been coming like every two weeks lately. She's like, I'm feeling great. I'm like, yeah, of course. Like I want to massage every two weeks too. And she's just like, I still have all this tension in my shoulder. And my suggestion to her, it was breathe. Like literally when you take a deep breath, your shoulders go down, you know, maybe set a timer, you know,

in your phone to take a deep breath once an hour, at least. Yeah. And especially for people, this is my massage therapist coming out, but especially people who have desk jobs, like, you know, you really collapse that diaphragm. And there's definitely studies that suggest, you know, like that really poor posture does lead to anxiety because you're literally not opening up your rib cage and breathing to that full capacity. So I always tell my clients, I'm like, you're sitting at your desk again, like, you know, like I was sitting at a red light and you're feeling anxiety and stuff like sit up straight, start breathing better. And like, all of a sudden all of that goes away. I mean, even in that moment, again,

you're pausing enough to kind of connect with your body. And in that space, you start to realize, whoa, like actually I got a pain right here in my back or my chest actually feels tight. And so breathe into it a little more. And I think that Reiki is such a great, I think everyone should take Reiki because I think it connects that multidimensional body that we are. You realize it and you're like, oh, I'm not just this muscle meat suit. I'm an energetic body and I can use that too in my life as a benefit for healing and for guidance. Can use that discernment, you know, which I'm huge on. Absolutely.

Yeah, I definitely agree with you. Reiki is a very, very powerful tool to have in your toolbox. And I agree. I would recommend anyone go through Reiki training if they can, because it's very powerful. Dixie is the best massage therapist. Thanks, Shanna. I have so many clients who love Dixie and have had Dixie. I have so many students that she has also sent to me, students who are now friends for life. So you obviously attract nothing but amazing souls. So keep sending them. I love them.

Yeah. I find that I have a lot of these conversations with my clients, you know, because this is just stuff anybody can relate to. We're all human. We all have to go through the same existence here on this earth. And I do like to send a lot of them your way because you have helped me so much with everything for sure. And being able to go through the Reiki training with you was really incredible. Oh, thank you. You create such a bond in that space of sharing energy and yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Reiki has definitely been a huge part of my journey. And we did a retreat up in the mountains a couple of years ago now, I think sadly. And that was another huge moment of realization for me and kind of a small aha moment.

When we got there, you gave us all little bags that had, you know, different like things in them for us to use of the weekend. And you gave everyone a little booklet and everyone's booklet, I think was different. Everyone had a different thing on theirs. I want to say that you like gave us them to us on purpose, but I might've been random. I'm not sure. The one that I got said self-love on it. Like my ego was a little bit offended because I was just like, I have self-love. Like, what are you talking about? You know, like I don't need to work on self-love. And I know we've talked about this before too, Shanna is, I think it's interesting. And this is where, you know, my parents probably did really right by me is I don't have really much negative self-speak. You know, I've never really been

one to be like, oh, you know, like you're so stupid. Why did you do that? Or really put myself down in any capacity. You know, if I make a mistake, it's just, I almost like tend to laugh my mistake, you know, like you kind of transform that into laughing your mistakes off. Like we have to learn to laugh at ourselves. And I know not everyone was fortunate enough to have a positive upbringing. And that probably has, you know, that does affect a lot of people and how they talk to themselves internally. But as that weekend progressed of it, I realized, you know, that again, this ties into, you know, the stoicism and karma and everything is, you know, self-love is that control of the ego. It is, you know, shutting it down because that's what causes suffering is that ego. And so to have self-love, you have to shut down

those thoughts and then, you know, you're in that good space again. And that is true self-love. And that brings like a huge message with it. Yeah. I love this quote that you had sent me that kind of explains, you know, where you're coming from with that. But it says, the capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it's not. It's an essential truth. Only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person without possessing the other,

without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to another. They allow the other absolute freedom because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by another because it is not given by another. And that's by Oso. I love that. That's probably one of my biggest ahas in my journey was to practice impermanence and the non-attachment. I agree. It's such a thing that I see a lot of people struggle with is attachment and negative relationships, not having that self-love. You end up looking for someone else to complete you you know like we talked about tom cruise's you complete me and i would you know in that moment be like well hold

up a second like why aren't you bringing me a whole person like you should fulfill yourself you should be the love of your life you know another thing that you know is kind of echoed in our society you know you can see it in song lyrics too, like fairy tales, right? We've been brought up on this. Yeah. Like, you know, that song, like, I want to know what love is. I want you to show me it's like show off love first, and then you can give it freely to other people and you can allow other people that freedom to just be their own individual. And I think that's where a lot of people end up objectifying the people that they have relationships with and reducing them to a thing, to just an object in their life that's fulfilling this role that they've created. And you have so many expectations for this person

to fulfill that role, you know, instead of just allowing that person just absolute freedom to be themselves. It's incredible, you know, to see, I think we've all thought, you know, like, if my partner left me, would I be able to let them go gracefully? Or are you so attached to that person, you know, that they provide you that fulfillment, because you don't have that self love. That's where you get codependency and all of these other things that come along with that and toxic relationships. And I've had so many friends who are single and stuff like that. And you just see some of these people who just go from relationship to relationship to relationship,

and they never really are alone. They never really sit with themselves before they really bring someone else into their life. And that I think is where a lot of failed relationships happen. Yeah. I'm always seeing that people not only are seeking happiness, that's an obvious one, but they're seeking love. They're seeking validation too. Yes. They're doing all of these things just to be told at a boy, at a girl, you're doing great in life. And when I think about this kind of stuff, I think about those five love languages, which I think is still a good tool to understand. But when I think about it in this way, from this angle, it's kind of like, okay, so we know the love language,

but you don't need anybody to love you that way. Right. Or what I mean, that's something that's come up for me like over the past years. Yeah, that's interesting. I have done that test. And like for me, my top ones were acts of service, I think was one and then like physical touch or something like that might have been the second one, but just leads to these like expectations of my partner. That's not fair at all. I should be just a self sustaining person, you know, and not reliant on anyone else. And when you do that, like you're

so much more grateful for the people that are in your lives. And it really transforms your relationship with. And the state of mind of not attached to this, you're not even attached to that future moment. You're really just appreciating the person in this moment, because the next moment they may not be here and you can't stay in a state of fear, but you're just appreciating them for what you have right now. Exactly. You remember at the beginning of the book, I think it was the beginning of the book of the power of now new earth. Eckhart tells a story about like his neighbor, I think, and the diamond ring. Oh, I don't remember that.

Yeah. And so I think it gives such a great example. It's something like she lost her wedding ring or something like that. And the lady is just, or maybe it was her mother's ring or something like that. And she's devastated and she's searching all over and obsessed with it, but it's an attachment to something material and it doesn't take away your memories. It doesn't take away your love and that connection, that real authentic connection that cannot be created nor destroyed, whether you lose that ring or not. Yes. That's a huge part of the stoicism is you know

like again non-attachment to things when your ego becomes attached to something it really has control over you and why would you want you know an object that's really metal and a gem to have that kind of control over your emotions hey animal lovers have you ever wondered what your fur baby is thinking? Or you just want to connect with your animal on a deeper level? Well, look no further than Sense of Soul's new affiliate, Animal Communicator, the talented Nicole Harp. Nicole can help you intuit the connection between your soul and higher source as she uncovers and shares important insights with you to create a happy and joyful life for both you and your loving animal.

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And make sure to tell Nicole that you found her from Sense of Soul Podcast. You can also go to www.senseofsoulpodcast.com under the Network of Lightworkers. You can find these links in the show notes. Now back to our amazing guest. I've seen you like practice this like a pro girl. I have. Yes. I'm going to use this as an example. So you had a job and I had saw you in a place where you were very happy. You're in a role that

I felt you were so good at. And I also believe everything happens for a reason, but that job ended quite quickly for you. And I know you were devastated. In fact, I could feel the devastation, but you've really bounced back quickly. And I think that this non-attachment really helped you. The fact that you know that you cannot find happiness in a job and in people, you were able to let go. And I just was so proud of you. And actually, it was very inspiring. Well, thank you for that, Shanna.

Yeah, I did go through a pretty rough patch where I had to walk away from basically my dream job. And it was a very, very difficult time of my life. I saw myself working for this company for the rest of my career. Connections, strong connections too with people. Yes. Yeah, a lot. So I lost a lot at that moment. And for me, it really was, I just can't, you know, dwell on these things.

I really had to practice that forgiveness of the people who had wronged me being able to, how did they pass through my mind? You know, at that point, you know, in the beginning, it wasn't very pleasantly, you know, I definitely had to say to some people for sure. But again, that was only going to cause me harm. You know, that person wasn't even my life anymore, you know, and for me to continue to just bash them into the ground, that's only going to make me sick, either mentally or potentially physically for some people, they can really push that anger and resentment so far that they do make themselves sick.

So yes, yeah. And I feel like this whole journey, I feel very grateful for it, because I feel like I was very prepared in that moment to handle that a little bit better than I feel like a lot of people probably would have. I just realized, you know, like, my ego was really happy with being I was a manager, and my ego was very happy with that title, you know, at the end of the day, you know, where I am now, like, I'm very happy. So I have so much to be grateful for. And it's really allowed me to take a step back and realize, you know, this achievement isn't the end all be all. And I think a lot of stoicism too, is like, it's good to have goals, but you kind of stop this continual cycle of like, I'm going to make this goal and then we got to reach it.

And then I'm going to make another goal. And you just keep raising the bar for yourself. When does it end? When you die? Exactly. Yeah. Instead of just being again in the present moment and enjoying your life for what it is right now.

Yeah. The power of now again. Yeah. That's a pretty good title. It is amazing. And I think that it's important to point out, I mean, we talked about being attached to like a material ring, being attached to a job, being attached to a person, a human. And I know a lot of people have challenged me on this. Well, how do you do that with your children or your loved ones. And yeah, I know that's a really tough one. It is.

But the thing is, is that if you are just like when Dixie, she was super happy with her job and her position and all the things, and then it was kind of pulled out under her very quickly. One could be very devastated, very devastated when that happens, where instead of evolves you from learning to push through the suffering, it could absolutely put you in a spiral downwards. Yes. How do you react when you're squeezed? You're squeezed. Yeah. Like what comes out? What is going to be the end results? And for me, it was just realizing that I can be happy in any capacity in my life, you know, even if I

weren't to be a, you know, massage therapist anymore and I had to move on to something else, you know, like just learning to be happy with exactly where you are is a very powerful for sure. There was a situation over the past few days where I was giving distance Reiki to somebody and it was someone who's just coming into this awareness and stuff. And a lot of things were integrating and processing and it was uncomfortable. And it's easy to just say, oh, I'm never doing that again because it made me feel uncomfortable because it made me actually be present with my emotions or made things come up that I'd rather just live in my body. And that's just part of it. Like life is an experience of struggles and challenges and moments that you are uncomfortable. And those for myself anyways,

and for a lot of people I've talked to have been the biggest part of their evolution. Yes, absolutely. I mean, it is, you know, those moments that transform us, you know, diamonds are made under pressure. One of my favorite things is, you know, without change, there would be no butterflies. Change, I think for a lot of us in this world that we live in is very uncomfortable, whether it's physical change or mental change. And I think that's why a lot of people also, again, you know, suffer from addiction. When you're intoxicated, you don't have to face yourself basically, you know,

and you can see that even with people who are like hyper-social, you know, they're always out there doing things again, you know, like kind of back to the dating thing. Like they're always dating someone. They're always going out with friends. There is like a distraction for them, you know, because being alone with their own thoughts is like a horror movie to them, you know? Right. And then they just push it down or try to, you know, numb them. I mean, this is, I feel everyone's journey is being able to pull those things up and out of you, you know, whether that's with Reiki or, you know, sometimes I know for yourself, if you would like to share, you've also experienced sacred medicine in doing ceremonies.

That is right. Yeah. Like my journey has just been like such a beautiful process. You know, I talked to you about the ayahuasca before kind of when we started, you know, I was a little curious about it and everything. And I remember you telling me like, it's kind of a cheat. And I was like, okay, you know, like, I don't want to cheat. I want to do the work, you know? And so I kind of just left it and I feel like I had an opportunity to do it. And I was, you know, like, I don't want to cheat, I want to do the work, you know, and so I kind of just left it. And I feel like I had an opportunity to do it. And I was, you know, just didn't feel like I wanted to or was ready. But it was actually incredible. Because again, you know, you're always right where you're supposed to be, you know, I lost this job. But because of it, I ended up coming back into contact with some people in my life, who right away, you know, said that they

were going to participate in an ayahuasca ceremony. And I felt ready at that point. So I asked if I could join them. And luckily, I was able to get in with this group of people to do this ceremony. But to be honest, by that point, I really felt very secure. And in all of these things that I had come to realize over the past few years, you know, I felt really secure in my beliefs, I should say. And so I really didn't have a lot that I was still searching for. So for me, going into the ceremony, being very, very open, just for me, I was like, I am just willing to receive whatever message the universe is wanting to give me right now. It's a very powerful medicine. You know, it definitely does not work the same for everyone. You've done mushrooms also, right? You've used different plant medicines.

Maybe you could even touch on, you know, the differences that you experienced. Yeah, mushrooms are definitely like shorter lived. You know, you're going to have those visuals. But mushrooms, you know, really help rewire those brain pathways. Like really using it for people with like PTSD and stuff like that is, you know, it really helps wipe those, you know, neural connections so that you can make positive ones. I really haven't done a lot with the mushrooms. I've microdosed like here and there, and it just, just give you like a really nice little pep in your step or, you know, really good feelings. But with the ayahuasca, it's really a kind of a deeper journey. One of the biggest things for me and a message that I could just

continually get from the universe is just, there's always balance to everything. So as I was driving to this ceremony, I was heading east and it was sunset. And so it was just the coolest thing to experience. There was a full moon coming up and there was the most beautiful moon rise that I was driving towards. And then my rear view mirror, that was the most beautiful sunset. I mean, it was just gorgeous. But again, I was just reinforced that, you know, there is balance to everything. So you dose with it. So they'll give you a little bit of it. And then you wait a little while and then you can take a little bit more and then you wait a little while and you take a little bit more just depending on what you need and everything. And I was in a group of about,

I want to say like eight to 10 people played music during it, live music, it was it was really, really nice, actually, just very, very peaceful. And people will have those visuals, because it's very similar to like DMT. So they'll have those visuals, a lot of people will kind of go on this like journey. And you know, I can kind of see after doing it, like where you kind of said, you know, it is cheating because again, I feel like a lot of people who I was there with, I feel like they're searching again for that, like aha moment that just like spark that like wakes them up. That's not what it is. So for me, I really didn't have a lot of visuals or anything.

I just had an extremely peaceful feeling, you know, in the ceremony lasted, I think it was almost like six hours. Well, well into the hours of the morning and everything. But, you know, for some people, they need that space to kind of dig into themselves a little bit to maybe see things. So for them, it does help for sure. So, you know, after the ceremony was over, we just all kind of talked a little bit about what we had experienced. And, you know, since I really wasn't like having many visuals or anything, I did, you know we had experienced. And, you know, since I really wasn't like having many visuals or anything, I did, you know, have a pretty good, you know, they say you purge and that is true, but not for everyone. Some people don't, some people just get really

queasy and some people purge quite a bit. So it's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's just part of the process. The thing that I was like, okay, like I can ask, you know, mother ayahuasca question. So, you know, for me, kind of a backstory, like at the time someone had come into my life, that was a very difficult person, but I felt very connected to them. I had a lot of premonitions about this person, like a lot of things that I would think about would end up coming true with this person. Yeah, I've been there. You know, so I just, I was like very confused because again, this person was just extremely difficult to deal with. And, you know, again, I had this like connection to them. So I

wanted to explore that, like having like so many, you know, premonitions about this person that were coming true. And so just kind of ask like, what is the perfect, like, what am I supposed to do with this person? I just immediately got this, like, love them. Like, it was so sharp. Like, just love them. And immediately my ego wanted to be like, but, but, but, but. And it just, again, it was like, no, love them. Like, unconditionally love them.

You know, that's all there is, love. And that's what a lot of people, like, end up experiencing with ayahuasca is that true, like power of love and what that does, but unconditional love, right. You know, not put expectations on people. And that was the other thing too, is like, you know, for me, like I had to drop all my expectations of this person to be a decent person and realize that they had a past and everything and just, and just show them what love was. Cause I feel like a lot of people, you know, even with self-love, like you were talking about earlier, that's something people can think

that they're totally practicing self-love, but only because things are going great in their life. Exactly. I love myself right now because everything's what I want it to be. And then the minute something happens, jeans are too tight or all of a sudden you make a big mistake loving yourself without conditions, or you do it to

your partner. You know, I love you as long as you're making me feel good about myself. And as long as you're doing this and as long as you're being successful and helping move the bills or whatever it is, I love you. I love my children. As long as you're getting good grades, as long as you're not pushing me, you know, whatever it is. I love my children. As long as you're getting good grades and as long as you're not, you know, pushing me, you know, whatever it is. Yeah, I agree. You know, I love, I love my parents, but as soon as they tell me, no, right. Yeah.

Or as soon as somebody disagrees with me, you know, it could be my friend. Right. Yeah. Then they don't agree with what I agree with, or if they don't believe what I believe, love is not even authentic anymore because it's under all these conditions, even for the self. And if you can't love yourself unconditionally, how would you have that also for someone else? In this day and age, we are just slammed with that every day, you know, just keeping up with the Joneses and you have to look a certain way. And I feel like people are just so hard on themselves and just so lost at the same time.

You know, you have to know so much, right? You have to have so many labels and all this stuff. Yeah. Or you have to be able to have these big visualizations and an ayahuasca. Yes. Judge ourselves. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

It's true. And I love that, that you talked about the different ways that people might experience things and you kept saying, and that's okay because it is because we're all so different how we experience life. Yeah, absolutely. You know, we've all had different paths that we've walked. It's made us who we are. But again, you know, I feel like a lot of people can kind of get stuck in the past. And it becomes like a part of your ego's identity to say like, Oh, you know, like I am, I'm a victim, you know, for example, like whatever, you know, you may be a victim of, but you just let that consume you. You can't let that control your brain, because I feel like

people who identify so much with their past, or with things that have happened to them, like, again, that just becomes your identity. And it is just doing you more harm than good instead of just letting some things go. Nixie, how important do you feel that having relationships and conversations like this is so important? I know for myself, I'm so glad that I have people like you in my life that I'm able to call up and say, dude, guess what happened? Can you believe this? This is crazy. No, I agree. It's really fun to be able to call you and tell you about like different synchronicities and stuff that have happened and are like, you know, different premonitions that have come true. I think it's very, very important. And again, I just feel like our society is just a little lost and the whole world, I think it's a little bit lost right now. And we're just looking to the wrong things to heal us when really just got to look inside

and then I'll transform everything around us. For sure. I appreciate you sharing your story because I feel like that's another thing that I think it's happening more. A lot of people being vulnerable on my podcast, but I think it's so important to do that. Absolutely. What is your plans right now? Like I'm just trying to be present. That does go back to the ayahuasca a little bit too, is, you know, a lot of people will just continue to do these ceremonies, but I feel like a lot of people get to this point where the integration has to take place. Like you've come to these realizations and now you have to do the work, you know, now you have to be uncomfortable and,

and catch yourself in these moments and correct yourself in a loving way, you know, for to talk it out if you need to. The after part I think is important. It is absolutely. Yeah. I talked to a recent client and she unfortunately had, she did not go to the same people to do her, her, her ayahuasca ceremony. And she had an unfortunate experience and it was a very yucky experience for her. And, you know, it's kind of turned her off of the whole thing. And that makes me really sad. It's definitely important to do like your research with who you're doing that ceremony with and make sure that they're asking the right questions. Like, you know, you definitely cannot be on antidepressants. And so that is why they ask you those questions. And it is very important that you tell them if you are, you have to like detox from those medications if you do do the ayahuasca. So definitely, you know, do your, do your research with who you're going to go with. If you do choose to do one of those ceremonies. Yeah. Make sure you do your research and make sure it's the safe space. And also I would consider, you know, seeing what is provided afterwards. Do they just

never see you again, say nice life, or are they available if you need to talk or, you know, give you suggestions? Yeah. Like the people I did the ceremony with, they will have gatherings from time to time for people who've gone to the ceremony, which is incredible. And they'll do just like different singing and stuff and, you know, being around people with really good energy, you know, but my friend, unfortunately, like she said, they didn't even do like a share in the next morning, which I was like, Oh, wow, that's really sad that you weren't even able to share your experience, you know, you know, ask what the process is going to look like, you know, if there's going to be, you know, what type of music they're going to be playing, you know, how many doses do you get, you know, what type of music they're going to be playing, you know, how many doses do you get,

you know, all these questions. Yeah. You do your research for sure. Yes. Yes, definitely. There are good people out there. Just, yeah, you just got to find. So also Dixie is a lover of animals. If I had to describe Dixie of anything, that's one of the things that I would say, I mean, she's got fricking almost every animal. Yes. Yeah. If you want to talk about my temper coming out, that is something that'll bring my temper out real quick as animal abuse for sure. And she has a horse. She's always been a lover of horse. She used to ride horses, right? Yeah. Well, I do have a horse currently. So that's really actually what I'm focusing on right now is I got this horse a few years ago.

It was just a huge part of my life that I was missing. I grew up around horses and unfortunately had to find a new home for the horse that I had in my early 20s because my parents said they couldn't pay for it anymore. And when you get to that age, you kind of start paying for your own things. So I found him a really good home and that horse is still around and very hard for, but I did get another horse a couple of years ago and it's been really fun. Again, like even learning more about myself and true patients, like the patients that it takes to work with an animal, it's a lot. And I know a lot of people can get frustrated really quickly with them, but a difference from the horse training that I was brought up with and the horse training that I'm doing now is like night and day, you know, for sure. Like just how you handle the horse and being more aware of the horse's emotions and everything.

And just to share like a story that kind of ties in with a lot of what we've been talking about at the barn that I'm currently at this, she has a really strict policy that you have to have, you know, like somebody has to be with you because they unfortunately had a farrier who was working on a horse and the owner wasn't present and the person ended up really hurting the horse and they were watching the surveillance camera and the guy was clearly very very upset and the um the owner and the barn owner you know ended up calling had to have the vet come out to help treat this horse because the farrier really messed its feet up. And even the vet was like, you know, well, haven't you had bad days? And the owner was like, yeah, but I've never taken it out on an

animal, you know? And again, like how much are we taking things out on, you know, by not being present, by being in that monkey mind of being in that ego, you know, like how much are we damaging other people and things? And, you know, that horse, you know, to this day is struggles with getting its feet trimmed, which is really sad, you know? And another cool thing is I actually have Reiki done on a horse. I have someone come out and do Reiki on him and she's incredible, you know, and just to see a horse, an animal react that strongly to energy is there's just almost no denying that energy exists without she'll have her hands like over him and he'll just have huge releases like he'll lick and chew or he'll yawn or just put his head down and be really calm um the incredible

to see her work with my horse for sure yeah i love it i like rascal every time someone would come over he'd like sit outside my door and then as soon as the door would open, he'd get on his back. Like it's my turn. Yeah. Yes. I know. Yeah. Animals are just, they're so precious. Yeah. But the right now, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm just really trying to focus on the things in my life that make me happy. You know, my horse and he, you know, teaches me presence, you know, more than anything, cause you just have to be present with a horse. You know, if you go out there with a bad attitude, thinking about the bad day you had, you know, your session is not going to go very well.

So horses are very powerful creatures in that, that respect. Well, Dixie, thank you so much for coming on. I love you dearly. I appreciate you so much sharing your journey with, with me and the listeners. And if anybody wants to get a hold of you, do you have any kind of info that you want to put out there? Or if someone really is interested in talking to me, you know, potentially just going through you and you can forward my info to them, that would be definitely okay with me for sure. All right.

Thank you, Shannon. I love talking to you. I know you too. Thanks for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast. And thanks to our special guests for joining me. If you want more of Sense of Soul, check out my website at www.mysenseofsoul.com, where you can work with me one-on-one or help support Sons of Soul podcast by donating to my coffee fund. Thanks for listening.