Sense of Soul - What Happened to You Happened For You

Episode Date: January 25, 2021

We welcomed Brian Covey on Sense of Soul, once a Pro USA Soccer Player, today a chief executive at Loan Depot, a proud father, an influencer, a top rated podcaster and, soccer dad. He throws the suit down and coaches his daughters league with joy several times a week. It's Brian's mission with his new book, "Conversations with Covey", that he can highlight some of the most incredible stories he's gotten to share on his podcast, the Brian Covey Show. Join us as Brian shares the importance of having balance in your life and being present with your family. Check out www.mysenseofsoul.com

Welcome to the Sense of Soul podcast. We are your hosts, Shanna and Mandy. Grab your coffee, open your mind, heart and soul. It's time to awaken. Today on Sense of Soul, we welcome Brian Covey. Once an Olympic USA soccer player, Brian quickly learned how to get cut and literally get cut. Brian very early in his career was affected by the 2007 market crash just years after his Olympic team cut. Brian mastered the art of failure and the art of winning and the art of staying fit. He believes in balance and health over all things. Brian is chief executive at Lone Depot, a proud father, an influencer, a top rated podcaster and soccer dad. He throws that suit down and coaches his daughter's league with joy several times a week.

It's Brian's mission with his new book, Conversations with Covey, that he can highlight some of the most incredible stories he's gotten to share on his podcast, The Brian Covey Show, which is an awesome one. Thank you so much, Brian, for being with us. Thanks for having me. I've been excited about this one and love what you guys are doing. I think there's a lot of alignment in the messages we share and sounds like our journeys as well. Yes. And thank you, Gabby, for sending him over. Gabby has really sent us over some remarkable souls. So we appreciate her. Yeah, she is. Hey, and guess what, Brian, right now, as we speak, I am closing on my mom's house.

Is it in Colorado? Yes. We had over 80 bookings for showings in one day. Wow. I mean, you must've thought they knew that Shanna from Sense of Soul once lived there. Right? Yeah. On the market. I'm telling you, I was, it was incredible. And of course sold it. It was on the weekend that we put it on, sold it by Monday and we sold it for, you know, 20,000 over asking price. And they even waived the appraisal. Beautiful. That makes it so much easier. Like, thank you. We'll take that. That works. My guilty pleasure is I sit on Redfin like at night when I can't sleep. I love looking at real estate. It's in my blood. My dad used to be a realtor. My sister-in-law is a realtor. I worked at Keller Williams for a while, but I

love watching the market. And so I was excited to have you on to not only talk about how you align with Sense of Soul, because we have on guests who talk about turning pain into purpose. And you had some pain in your past of what you went through with the market crashing and being cut off the Olympic team. But, and now you run this loan depot. So I was excited to talk to you about this market. What the heck is going on? Yeah, probably one of the best markets any of us have ever been through. And no one predicted it. No one knew it would happen.

I mean, we're going through a financial disaster. Well, in some, if you look, you know, the Jamie Dimons of the world and some of the folks that are CEOs, the large banks, you know, think that it's this suppressed recession that's happening. And we won't really know probably for a year or two. But you look at how families are growing, right? People are needing a home office. You've got more babies being born. You've got folks working from home that have decided they need something different. And maybe they're even homeschooling their kids. And so what people really have put

value on their home matters more than ever. And I think that's kind of fueling the market along with, look, rates have been phenomenal. So that didn't hurt the market either. And, you know, here in Colorado over the past few years, our real estate has gone up. It's doubled. It's for my mother who wanted to downsize. That wasn't a very good decision here in Colorado. So she actually moved back home to where she's from, Louisiana, where she was able to buy a house half the price. Oh, yeah. Half easily. Brian, I love what you just said, though, because COVID has really got people thinking about homes in the space that they're in all the time with their loved ones. My friend Kim owns a very high-end interior design store in California.

And she's like, Mandy, this has been the best year ever. Because people are coming in and redoing their homes and really making it like this sacred space and bringing so much more meaning and value and gratitude towards their homes. The home gym, the home office, probably the kitchen and remodels that we've seen people will come to us and we work with everybody from remodelers to designers and everyone. Those would probably be the biggest ones. In addition to the surge, depending on where you live in the country, people adding pools, right? Because they want a little bit of either privacy or something there. They may not be

traveling. So we've seen those additions in the backyard and setting up play sets and all that. It's been tremendous to see. It's also open, you know, talk about for you, Shanna, as your mom moving to Louisiana, so many people working from home, if you can live anywhere, there's probably been folks that have said, Hey, if I had to go in the office and I got to be here, that's where I'm going to be. Yeah. You can go anywhere. Yeah. My husband, he hasn't been home for 20 years. He's been a traveling salesman our entire marriage. And he also was an athlete when we first got together and was always traveling with the Oakland A's. He played in the minor leagues. So it was like, he's home for the first time ever. And last night, I was on Redfin looking up cute little condos on Destin Beach in Florida, because I'm like, now his work is telling him he is not going to have to be coming into the office every week. Like he was. And I'm like, if you can work from anywhere, why wouldn't we live in a condo on a beach that is like half the

cost of this house that's covered in snow right now. Right. You only live once we've been saying that and we know Destin well, We'll have to connect up after this. I coached my daughter's soccer team for a few years. Knew nothing about soccer. She just was shy. And so if I was going to get her to do anything, then I had to coach. So I ended up coaching soccer, four years of softball, seven years of cheerleading, but I loved it. It was probably some of the funnest moments of my life. Really enjoyed it. Whenever I see my girls now and they're like in their twenties and stuff, you know, being a coach, you get to know them on a level that maybe even some of their parents don't know. It's one of the best honors you can ever have. Like coaching now, all three of our kids is in different stages of life, but being able to coach them and come alongside them, I was thankful they picked soccer sport I knew about, but our youngest is doing basketball. So I know about it, but then, you know, my middle, he was doing flag football.

I never really a couple of years of regular football, but flag football. And I was like, thank goodness. Some of the other dads stepped up, but what a joy, like, and I look at that too, of that coaching role and they get to see kids, especially in those ages, you know, with ours being five to 14, those are really big development years and grateful for the coaches because that, that relationship, you're right. You get to instill confidence and maybe some of their kind of self-worth where they may not get that at school. They may not get that at their house. And man, what a, what a joy that is. How did you get into soccer? Did you love soccer your whole life? So I did, I was actually started my older brothers, five years older than me.

And so my brother Lee would go and he was playing back then in like church leagues. And so I would go just cause I was the younger brother, right? Just go wherever he goes. And I remember thinking, this is cool. And I started about three years old and he was playing in a league. And I was very fortunate at an early age. People that know soccer will know the name Pele. They'll probably also know the name Kyle Root Jr. Who I was fortunate along with my dad, Kyle Root Jr. was one of the first American footballers for soccer. It actually made it and played with Pele and some of these. He went to our church and he coached

because he had kids my age. So I found at an early age, one, I liked the sport. I realized basketball later in life, like ninth grade year, I wasn't gonna be six foot something. I'm like, okay, soccer's great. And I found that was probably something for me with some coaches that had come alongside me

and I had some success. I I found that was probably something for me with some coaches that had come alongside me, that I had some success. I had friends that played and it just was a sport I enjoyed being outside. And it evolved from there. Yeah. And then had some early success on the U17 Olympic team and then on later in college and professional that kind of validated. In a way, it's cool because I think in life, if you find things that you enjoy doing, if you practice them long enough and really commit and get good at them, surround yourself with people that'll make you better like coaches and others, then it almost turns that like into like a love, like a passion today that I love going and playing with my 13 year old daughter. I love training. I love just getting back on the field. And to this day, she knows some of my best friends and life experiences came from on

the field. And that's shaped who I am today. Wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. The good times, the bad times, just all of that made me who I really believe now as a leader and a dad and a husband and all that. That's a lot of DNA came from that. I love that. I wanted to chat for a

moment about the impact it had on you when you did get cut and had to hang up your, you know, cleats as my husband always says, because I know my husband went through a stage of depression and he really missed that camaraderie. And he also was able to light that spark then by coaching. Did that affect your mental state as well? I was fortunate. My dad is also a psychologist. And so he counsels pastors and youths that are like severely either suicidal or dealing with dependency and all that.

And so I was fortunate in the mental aspect of my game. I learned early. And one of my first, I remember kind of setbacks was when I had made the U-17 Olympic team, I did not make the final team that went to Japan. They picked other players to go. And that was the first one where you're like, man, I've made it this far. I've worked. What am I missing?

And it almost causes you some self-reflection. And I don't think I was ready at that age. I don't know that any 15, 16 year old is really prepared to, they have the EQ to understand. But I remember from there, it was just ingrained in me, get back on the field. And I remember my coach coming alongside me and my dad, just like, let's get you back on the field.

Let's train, let's get it going. And it almost became like, that was just normal. We didn't really commiserate over it or cry about it or like sit there and go, wow, this is the end of the world because it's not. In business and in life and things, you're going to have setbacks and things that teach you lessons. And what I realized is that was a lesson for me that I've got to go all in. There's areas I need to continue to train and improve. And I wanted to know what did the other players have that maybe I didn't. And that was my drive at that point was I'm going to make it to a D1 school and get a scholarship. And I wanted to be at a start. And it was like all these goals started to come up. And I think that's where my drive in a way got accelerated. And that was,

I'll tell you that paid off later because as I got to the point of playing college and then playing professionally, I got to a point where I probably could have continued that. But as you said, like hanging up my cleats, I had met my now wife and I realized there was a shift that was happening of, I wasn't gonna be there forever. Like sports, love it. I mean, it was something that I had really built my life around, but it was now time for a new chapter and a new season. And I always wanted to be a dad and a husband and have kids and do all that stuff. And so I've taken those lessons forward with me, but you know, I think for everybody, it's just, what can you take out of those moments? And I

realized today, even in business, there's times where I had someone earlier today and I wanted them to join our team. We've been trying to recruit them for a while. They're going to go with a different firm. Like in the past, that would really like destroyed me. You know, I've been like, man, I'm just not good enough. What's wrong with me now? It's like, that's okay. We're going to stay in touch. We're going to keep going though, because we have a team and we have a mission and we know what we're doing every day. And to get up with that drive and passion, keep going. There's always another game. And, you know, correct me if I'm wrong, but for me personally, a lot of times I feel like that's where my faith comes in. Cause I just know that, you know, there's a blessing and a lesson and everything, and that there's just a different

path. And right now in the moment, I might not be able to see the bigger picture. So I could waste all this energy being upset, or I can just trust it and know that it's all exactly how it's supposed to be. And that's it. You know, I had a, probably one of the biggest setbacks in the 07 setback in the market crash. Like that was more outside. I felt like that wasn't as much an inside, like, yes, we had our two oldest at the time they were just born and, you know, one and two two but being able to face that and then a few years ago part of a team and it just wasn't gelling and it was one of those where they came and said hey look we just don't think you're the best fit for this or the best leader for this

group and you know we think we should probably just maybe go different directions or something there and you start thinking okay and honestly if I had not been through all these things I'd been through and had my faith to lean back on and go, okay, God, what are you showing me? Because one of my traits is loyalty, probably to a fault. And it almost took that almost catastrophic event to go, hey, I'm going to pull you out of here. This is good. I've got something great for you on the other side.

You just need to trust me. And it broke down a lot of barriers and allowed me to get back in tune with who I think God created me to be. And I've been loving that since then. It was painful in the moment, not going to lie. Like that was, I mean, my wife would say several days and even a week of just like, what in the world? But I think that's where you have to be grounded and know there's always a

bigger plan and to trust that process because I would have never thought I would be at Loan Depot, one of the top companies in the country, and then building out this team and just loving the business again, but also getting to do some things that I never thought would be possible. You said getting back to who God wanted you to be. I haven't shared the story in a long time. And I'm going to because I want your advice, because I see a similar story in my son, my oldest son, 23, before he was born, he would come from a very athletic family. On both sides, my dad owned a sports equipment store. I mean, his my brother still does. You know, my brother,

of course, went to college, you know, for sports. My dad did too. I mean, it was our lives. My son's dad, I mean, his entire family before he was born, you know, Brian, he was going to be a baseball player before he was born. God, I don't know if God chose that for him because I had chose to for him before I was born. Yeah. He lived up to our expectations. He really did. He did. He was awesome. He did every sport though. It wasn't just that by the time he was 12, he had instability of his shoulder because, you know, overthrown wrestling, you know, whatever. By the time he was 16, 17, I mean, he needed a whole new shoulder. I mean, they said, I can't believe he could even throw anything.

Everything he thought he was going to do after high school was gone, right? When he would see people, what college are you going to, Drew? Where are you playing ball? He's not. So he's looking at me and he's like, coach me, coach me, mom. Where do I go next? What do I do? Where's my fans? Where's all

of the support and the love and the cheering? And I'm looking at him going, holy fuck, what did I do to you? He was so lost and he didn't know who he was. So thank God I was kind of awakening at the time and I've given him the space to discover who God wants him to be. This is the only chance he has now, but it's, you know, everyone else is looking at him going, wait a minute, why don't you have it figured out? What would you tell someone like my son? What's his name? His name is Drew. I remember in 23, that was about when I was starting to kind of taper off the playing and I realized there was more to life.

I think the younger version of me, if I had known it was okay to be more of who I am and go on the path of self-d I really mean by not caring about other people's opinions is your circle is going to get a lot smaller and find people that you really can do life with that actually care about you. And I was fortunate around that age. A couple of people came along that encouraged me to continue to go to church, not go out and party and get in trouble and just get sideways. I would find people that you can surround yourself with, as well as someone older, that's more of a mentor, that you can actually ask these questions about, because many times you're not going to ask your parents about these questions, you need to ask someone outside

that circle, that could be a mentor. That was one I didn't get to later in life, probably about 28 or 30. I would go back and find that person sooner rather than later to ask the questions and help you on their journey. Because unless you've gone through what I call is the tunnel that I believe every man has to go through at some point, it's just my own personal thing. They have to go through that pain to realize who they actually are and what matters and what their beliefs are, not their parents' beliefs, not what their friends say, not what society says or social media. They have to figure out what really matters to them. If you were to get dropped off in a different country or somewhere

else, what would you believe? What are the things that matter to you? How would you find fulfillment? That would be where I would start because the journey of discovering yourself it's tremendous because from there it's a lifelong pursuit but I think it's one that that's why we were created because if you don't know your gifts you can't really give back to others on the fullest and biggest level there's people that that do shows and podcasts and there's books and things. And I would find the ones you think would add the most of them. And I'll be glad. I do. I know you do. But I think then that next connection is finding somebody, if he's open to

it, when he's in that space, that he would open up and allow to be a mentor. And it's many times people they don't know, right? Because the people you know too well, you're like, I don't want to tell them how messy my life is and everything going on. So almost finding a stranger that you know, but you can trust. Those are the conversations that will open up. And it kind of takes me into, I'll put a soft plug, but that's part of why we wrote that book, Conversations with Covey, coming out, because there's stories of people that I hope everyone connects with at least one. There's some of me in that person. He or she, they've been down the road I've been down. They're in a spot I've been in. I can relate to them and then share some

life lessons. To me, that's what's missing today is some of that connectivity of somebody that you can trust. That's not some fake guru, not trying to sell you something. Like, I mean, that's why we did the book was like, it's not even, it's not even about the money. We're going to be giving it away

and like using it to help people. It's truly conversations and stories are what are going to connect people and inspire them to take action in their own life and realize they're not alone. They're not the only ones that think this or have gone through similar adversity. I think that's not talked about enough. Yeah. I love that because that's my purpose. I know this, I've been told this by God. My purpose is to share my story because I think that that is where people connect is through stories and

people are so afraid to share the ugly parts of their story, but that's truly where you can help other people. So what a cool book. So what did you do? Did you just collect all different kinds of people's stories or how is this book put together? Yeah. So really was almost an inspiration that I was going through. One of my goals was I was scared to launch a podcast. And so last year, thank goodness I did. Cause then when we went into more of the work from home and remote stuff, I had started a podcast really to interview great guests and people that I was inspired or fascinated by. I knew they added a lot of value in their field or expertise. We took those conversations from the podcast and took the best ones from season one, and then really worked with the stories

that they shared and their lessons of overcoming adversity and then put what would be the teachings. So if you could imagine you go to this amazing conference, you got 10 or 11 of the best motivational speakers, but they have substance behind it. They don't just make you feel good. At the end of each chapter and lesson, we actually give you tangible things you can do. And then I wrap up each of those lessons and chapters of what did I actually implement? And did I find the most valuable in my life or business or relationships? And we tie those together. So it's really birthed out of the podcast. Isn't podcasting such a gift?

Like Shanna and I, every week, call each other after we have someone on like you and go, how are we so lucky to talk to these people weekly? It's like we're students and we get to learn from them and we just feel so blessed. I mean, it's such a cool thing. Amen. That was it. What's been amazing is the connections in a year that you would say social distancing and all these things. I didn't feel socially distanced at all because some of my now closest kind of mentors or however you want to coin that, like people that I go to, I'm like, Hey, what do you think about this? What about that? I've met no less than probably 10 to 15 people that I have their cell phone number. I can text them. I can support their journey. They're supporting mine and I'm learning from them. I can support their journey. They're supporting mine. And I'm learning from them, probably not connected up with at least half or more had we not been in the season. So I look and

go biggest blessings outside of time with my family, not traveling like your husband did, you know, Mandy there and being home with my family. That was number one, reprioritizing my health. I'd probably put two of like, okay, where can I clean this up a little bit as well? Three is the incredible connections that now I get to become a better leader, husband, dad, all this stuff, because I connected up with these people on a podcast and I learned from them. I love it. We had a gentleman on who said something that was really cool. He said, if you have a kid who's kind of in that stage, ask him what breaks your heart. And at first I didn't understand what that meant. And he kept saying it over and over

as we were interviewing, what breaks your heart? Like what gets you just gooey and emotional inside and wants you to just get out there. Like for my son, who's an athlete too, I anticipate with some anxiety when he has to hang up his cleats in a year, because he has lived baseball since the day he was born. He did the D1. He's got his last year coming up and he knows that he's not going to go pro. So I'm nervous, but that question is so cool because what breaks Connor's heart is the way we treat earth. And he wants to get into something that has to do with taking care of mother nature. And I love that he knows that. And what else breaks his heart is athletes that are struggling with their bodies.

So he wants to get into helping them implement mindfulness and meditation into their practice. So I loved that question. And there was another thing I wanted to ask you. I noticed in the bio that was sent over, it says, Brian has mastered the art of failure. That word stuck out to me because do you really think you ever failed? Because I've decided to wipe that word out of our vocabulary. Don't you think that everything you've done has got you to where you are today? A hundred percent. There's setbacks. There's lessons learned. I try not to use that word in my vocabulary because I don't look at it that way. You may take a couple steps back

to take giant leaps forward, you know, and I've had that several times. So I'm with you. I think part of mastering it though, is owning words have meaning. I really believe they have like power behind them. And some of the language we use, we've got to think about what's there and mastered it in the sense of I can rebound a lot faster. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less initially, you know, like if I were to lose a game, I'm highly competitive, right? Like highly competitive, but I've learned how to deal with that and realize, okay, what is that lesson? What do I need to do and to take ownership in my life of what do I need to go do now and convert from my feelings into an action? And that's where I say mastery of that kind of starts here, but then it moves through

your heart. And then you have to go take action because I could sit on the couch all day and dwell on my sorrows. Like when we had Corona and all this, could have hung out there and just pity party. But I was the wild guy out every other day showing up in my home gym. Even if 10 minutes in, I'm exhausted, literally exhausted.

For my mind, I had to get out. Get up, even if it's just a walk. I mean, you know, you have to do some sort of action, even, I mean, I think even just getting fresh air and connecting with nature, even if it's just your neighborhood. Yeah. You got to do that. And we realized that it was almost a reminder as I shared with people of just getting outside and, you know, you can't get out and like move around with everybody else, but just walking the dog, getting out, moving around, I found quickly, you know, it didn't last forever. So it's almost like you tell everybody, you know, you got to do that repetitively because it would feel good for a few hours. And then

unfortunately our experience, my kind of lethargic and just tiredness set in. So I realized, well, I can either lay here in that, or I can get up and try to move a little. Again, lessons in life, you know, when you're feeling slow or beat down a bit, sometimes the best medicine is to get up and move and get outside and connect. Yeah. You're very hands-on father. How do you find that balance with, you know, running this company and then the health piece. I haven't always had it. My wife would be the first one to tell you, probably much like your husband, the sense of my traveling early, I started moving up through, you know, corporate America and all that stuff is I traveled a lot. And my first two kids, we, our first two weeks, I wasn't there as much like at all. I was on the road every week traveling and traveling and traveling. And so part of that intentionality, a few years ago, I went to what I would call kind

of like a breakthrough leadership experience where went away, and it was men only. And so we were able to share and go through and add a coach and a mentor. We actually went through what mattered, where our values in a shift, the word you used there, Mandy was balance. And they got me very much like failure. I pulled balance out of my kind of peripheral and I went to integration. Meaning if I'm going to go work out at the home gym here, I can probably take one or two kids with me and they're going to work out with me. I'm going to go on a walk with the dog. I can take someone with me. Volunteering and coaching is as much about me giving back and coaching because I love to do that as it is. I know that I'm going to be

committed and I'm there with my kids for that time. You know, driving, like the other day, I'm driving with my daughter to practice and that's quiet time, radio off, phones down, like talk. I think being present in the moment would be the number one thing I learned is like be there. And then to try to integrate things that you do. And so the other day, great example, my oldest, my daughter says, Hey, I'm going to start running. I'm going to start doing this with my training. And she's a phenomenal soccer player. So, you know, brings me great joy, but she starts talking about running and I said, Hey, if you ever want me to go running with you, you know, I'll go, Oh dad, you're too fast. This, that, I go, look one, I'm not fast too. I just want to go to be

with you. And she's like, well, do you mind if I wear my headphones and all that? You know, AirPods. I'm like, cool. I'll wear mine. But at the end, can we walk back? So we'll run and we're done. I get about this 10 minute window where I found after exercising people open up, like they talk and she's sharing all these things. So just finding ways to integrate, because I could sit and watch TV, listen to a podcast, you name it. I could go do stuff, but show up where your kids' interests are. Don't try to be a business leader here, a dad over here, a husband. If you can integrate some of that. My dad did that. That was my life. My dad traveled so much.

I mean, he even lived many times like Mandy's husband, actually in other states even. And there came a point where I don't know, you know, because now that I've never had a conversation, well, in the past, I can't have that conversation. But I know eventually, because my little brother was so into sports, and my dad till his deathbed was hoping that I would be it, I would admit that I love softball, which I didn't like getting dirty. I'm sorry. But he changed his entire career around my brother. I mean, my dad would shut down that store. If my son had a baseball game. The way you described that, Brian, was beautiful. Integrating versus balance. So you're not changing your life a whole bunch.

You're just finding ways to integrate them into what you currently have to do. Yeah, that's great. I spoke to someone right before we got on the podcast. He's having some anxiety around seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. So here we are in 2020 where we're all on lockdown and now they've got the immunizations coming out and people are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to COVID. And they're starting to have anxiety about having to go back to their life before and the traveling and the job. And so what would you say to these people?

I would take an honest assessment. You had those breakthroughs. There's a reason why you had them. For example, I love not traveling. I've told my team that I said, guys, one of the best gifts I was given is I'm with my family more. You know what I found out? They love to see me. They don't love to see me as much as I thought they loved to see me. Sometimes we put so much value, like I'm a leader, I'm leading a team. I have to come into the market. I have to do these things. The reality is we had a successful year. We hired, we opened stores and branches. We still performed exceptionally well. And we went to video, we adapted. And what I realized is if your priorities are really your priorities, you

will find a way to make them happen. And the anxiety is only coming, I really believe, because you know there's a lack of alignment of what's important to you, you're not able to live out. And for everybody, it's different, right? Like, it's easy for me to say because I'm leading a team and I adapted and the team has received that, but I know there's going to be points at which I'm going to be traveling again, and I'm sure I'm going to have a little bit of that anxiety, but where can I take back control of the areas that I enjoyed? Like what went well that I can keep in place. And those are the things I would say, try to find a way to align your life up with that and have pursuit of that happiness. Because you're just

stuck in your job and you're doing it and you have anxiety about it. Chances are you might not be in the right role. And maybe it's a conversation you have with your employer or your boss or whatever. And you say, hey, look, here's some things that I would love to experiment. You know, within our world, we had several people that said, hey, look, I'm probably never coming back to the office unless you make me. you can do that job and we can equip them if they have the technology and the tools to work from home and that's important to them i just think that's going to change a lot cultures that learn to adapt to that are going to retain the best people and the ones that don't adapt to it they're companies like the blockbusters right they won't adapt and they won't be on the corners anymore. Hold on. I have to integrate real fast. Say hi. She's still in her jammies. Hey, that's the best way to live the day. Jammies.

I know. Okay. She's hungry, like always. All right, I'll give me 15 minutes and mommy will be up. If it wasn't for broadcasting, I probably wouldn't even take off my jammies. My mom still has her jamma pants on. That's the best about video. You don't even, no one even has to know the pajamas we wore.

I don't even have pants on, Sloan. Bye, baby. I'll be up in just a minute. Sorry. When I was talking to my son, Drew, about this a while back, he said something to me. He was like, yeah, just sometimes if I'm going to do that, I really have to push myself. I really have to push myself. I said, yeah, you do.

You really have to push yourself. And the voice that's telling you, go, go. That's your soul. That is the passion. That's God telling you, go, go, go. And when you're resisting that, that's your ego. That's the conditions, the lies, the fears, the shame. So the conversations and listening to yourself,

even like Mandy said, having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, which you said men have to all go through a tunnel, which I found just interesting. Mine was a spiraling freaking tornado. Oh, it's different for everybody. You think about because I think that's,

that's where men and women are created different. But if you go into like, you haven't studying up with our team, we're doing the Enneagram and some of this other, like we're learning about ourselves and what we've learned is like men, a lot of times just have a tendency to build things really well and then burn them all down it is what it is but if you know those tendencies and you can kind of learn from them and one of the big takeaways that that same mentor had shared with me was you have to know your patterns like

note to your point like when drew was saying negative patterns yes like knows when he's not pushing but he feels tugged to go push harder when you know your patterns you can i i believe you can program in a response that you look at the studies of how people you make however many 50 000 choices a day or thoughts and all this stuff and it's like well if i can program the ones to make it easier for myself so i don't make the wrong choices or make the the average choice versus the great choice, then that's power. Rewire your brain. I have had to do that. I mean, I have still some of those tugs trying to tug me out of, you know, where I want to be really is just lies, telling ourselves lies.

Yeah. We call that the imposter syndrome. And I'll tell you one thing I've learned in life is I'm in the same industry now, just celebrating 19 years. None of those years have really been the same. And I think the lie that we're told is that, you know, find your why and find your passion and then go do it. I don't think it works that way. I think it works like get out there and do some things, take action in a few areas that you know you like, and then you can create roles and you can create value and you'll start to pave your own way versus it's a proactive versus reactive to me. And I'm going to be proactive and I'm going to get out there and do things. I'm going to figure out this is my role. How can I make it better? What are the needs of the team? What are the needs of the family? Whatever it is,

sitting back and waiting for some epiphany that's just going to land on me and go, wow, is it? I didn't have that. Got to keep trying things to figure out what it is that you're going to do. And those aren't failures. That was really hard on myself for a long time. My husband's like, I have spent so much money on 90 different certificates that you have, and then you never use them. Because if I don't like something, I won't do it. Like I went and got a personal training certificate. I got my real estate license and did it for a small amount of time. And then if I don't like it, I step aside and I go on to the next thing. And I thought I failed. That's not failure. You got to do things in order to figure out what it is that you want to do. Yeah. that's it. Yeah. So you had a post on your Instagram about

investing in your mind, investing in your health and investing in yourself, which Shanna and I really preach a lot about because we forget to invest in ourselves. We invest in everyone else and forget to love ourselves. So how do you invest in your mind? How do you invest in your health? And how do you invest in yourself? Because those are the three things I want to do for my New Year's resolution. Yeah, I love that question. Because to me, they're very much interwoven. And what I have learned is, I'm a social creature in the sense like I grew up playing soccer, right? 11 players, like we trained a lot with people. And so my fitness, most of it, most of the time is going to be in a class setting. So I'm part of similar to like a CrossFit, it's called Iron Tribe here. And we have a class with

coaches. Again, I love coaches. I grew up with coaches, but the class has the workout already done. It has scheduled times. So it starts to fit into like, I'm committed, I'm going. And I chose it. Most people are like, oh, that's expensive. This, that, and the other. I'm like, yeah, it's a lot more expensive when you have to go to the doctor or you're not there for your kids because you're having sickness or illness later.

No, I invested money there and we're actually doing a 21 day challenge there. I'll be honest, like I work out hard. I eat well, all those things. But I did the 21 day challenge because one of the coaches was eat well, all those things. But I did the 21 day challenge because one of the coaches was like, Hey, Brian, you signed up for the 21 day challenge. I'm like, no, I just, I just lived that life. Like I'm healthy. He goes, you need to do that challenge, man. I was like, okay. So we did all our in body weighed in and we've got this 21 days.

You got accountability partners. You mark how many times you go. I think that's important for people to find your jam. Like I know some guys, they love to work out headphones in, do their own thing. I would just say that for me, what I found in most people, you need to have a roadmap and a plan. If that's you and you've got your workout before you go in or a coach that you're going to meet with, I think you have a higher probability of success. I like groups. Me too. The fun. Yeah, I have to. I'm not good at this by myself. This is what I tell people is let's not forget about the industry that I'm in in the sense of referrals and all that happens. And I get to go in there and there's real estate agents, Mandy. There are financial planners. There are people that we can do business together, but I'm going and working out with them, building a bond and having fun. And there's also friends. So it's, to me, it's multi-purpose. That's investing in my mind because what I love about

that, I would challenge everybody in your workout. You need to feel like at some point in your workout that you've hit a breaking point, right? Like that, that voice is saying you've worked hard enough. That's, that's enough. You're good. You can stop now. Like almost the quit and you need to be able to push through it. If you, if you start your days like that, the mental toughness that acquire, you kind of acquire over time. I just think that stacking is incredible. And so I invest in those. I do paleo. So that's a big thing. So I order meals each week. So that's helped me stay, you know, better. Probably have room to improve there, but I think investing in ourselves. So we invested in a branding company. I'm on a leadership journey with 20 people that we signed up that we're doing once a week.

And it's just sharing and leadership together. And part of a couple of masterminds that I'm investing money because I know if I put money into it, I'm going to be there. It sounds like support and having people around. You've mentioned that a few times, and I know that's a lot in your book, you know, having positive, supportive people around you is very, very vital. Yeah, it really is. I think it was power of association, power proximity. People have written on those. I've found, and they say that the five closest friends, you can kind of look at them and get a good gauge of where people are. I mean, that's something as you level up and surrounding yourself. I always try to find somebody like last year, find a couple people from the podcast that I resonated and I could learn from them because they're doing things or know things

that I don't. Every single time I went into Alcoholics Anonymous and tried to get sober, it's not coincidence that when I didn't get a sponsor, I relapsed because the sponsor's there to hold you accountable, to hold your hand and be supportive. And I always go back to A because the 12 steps are like my Bible. And so when you were saying that, that's what was coming to mind because the second I did get that sponsor and had that accountability, I was able to keep my sobriety. We, we are, we are put on earth to support each other and to connect with one another. And so I love that you said that. And then for a moment, I was thinking about those

shy introverted people that were like, Oh, you know, I don't want to join a big support group. Well, you got to kind of maybe get out of your comfort zone. If it's triggering for you, then that means that that's probably what you need. Yeah. I've yet to see anybody, even the introverts. And I know some, because some of my friends that joined up there, I've yet to see them join and not see results because your point you're already outside your comfort zone but by the sheer fact of you showing up and enrolling going to make you better and stronger so that might be something to your point earlier you know as we were talking about shana's like feeling that pull or tug maybe that is the thing you need to go do yeah that's That's just it. So over the holidays,

I noticed and took a lot of time and brought a lot of awareness to my eating because, you know, I binged ate like the rest of the world. And not only did it change my motivation and my drive, but also my mood. I mean, I just completely overate. It was ridiculous. And I kind of had the case of, excuse my language, but the fuck it's, which I think a lot of people got during COVID, you know, that COVID-15 that everyone's talking about that they put on, we kind of all used COVID as this excuse to be like, screw it. And I decided that, you know, I talk a lot about mind and soul, but I don't talk a lot about body and without that temple and without that vehicle, what's the point of talking about the soul and the mind. And so my

resolution is to get back into taking care of my health and being a person who's had respiratory failure twice. It's like a no brainer that this is something I need to do. So it was interesting that you were coming on today because I was like, it's in my face for a reason. That's the way it happens sometimes. Yeah. And you know, this whole dad bod thing, you definitely don't have a dad bod, but let's talk about the dad bod and what does that play into your book? Because I feel like some people take those words and think,

oh, it's okay that I look like this. I just have a mom bod or dad bod. Yeah. We're hoping to recoin that the modern day dad bod would be more of whatever that physique is that you're trying to accomplish. Like that you are proud of that, that you could go to the lake or the pool with your kids or the beach, and that you could be a good role model for them. Because I just really believe that your kids are going to watch and see that. And what better example could I be than someone that's fit, you know, and now I'm 43. And I remember, everybody said, Oh, when you have kids, you're just gonna lose it all. Yeah, and I gained a lot of weight with two kids, it happens. You get back on and you go and just like my daughter asking me to run the

other day, you know how disappointing that would have been if I couldn't run with her? I would have lost out on an opportunity in moments. I think if you start to frame it that way, the modern day dad bod, I think, is one that actually takes care of themselves, right? I mean, there are supplements and things that we need to eat that we know that's there.

I'm not a big sugar person. So, you know, I steer clear of like the soft drinks and the sugary drinks and all that, because I found for me that does not work. But I also surrounded myself if you go back to, I surround myself with other dads and husbands that are on that same journey of, we care about our fitness we care about that part because our energy matters when we go and lead our teams or with our kids, wherever we are, your energy has to match up. And wouldn't it be a shame if you didn't have the enough energy to do the things you wanted to do in life? Cause you didn't train like off the field mindset though. You got to train off the field to be great on the field and nobody's going to see it. Nobody's going to know about it, but yeah, we joke. We're going to change. The dad bod is not what it originally came out to be it should be people that are fit care about their health that are getting after it every day and hopefully inspire other dads wherever they are to be their best okay so brian this is gonna be a really hard question okay all right what was your favorite

if there was a favorite or what was one of the top stories in your book that you like just love? So I'm going to go with the one that probably moved everybody's hearts the most, which was Matthew Newman. And I'm not going to give it all away, but I will say he's a dad, married, and unfortunately found out that he had cancer and the way he found out and the way that he's now using that story if you read that chapter or listen to the podcast and don't have tears okay that and like now Matt Matt's my buddy now so like now like we we conversate offline um and what I think is beautiful about that is like we're different but we we have some things in common and I think that's what we found going through it and so that was one that just kind of resonated and then one that would be special along with it is you know I had one of my coaches

coach Michael Burt who's here who really encouraged me to write the book and so I got I got to include him because I wouldn't have had the courage and stepped into this. I was like, who wants a book from Brian? You know, why should Brian do a podcast and all these things? I'm like, I don't have a message. I don't have anything to say. He's like, get out there and do it. Yeah. And so I got to give him a props and a shout out because the best coaches make you uncomfortable. And now it's time for break that shit down. Coming into this year, taking what we learned in 2020 and some of the language that I was talking about earlier is everything happened for us and not to us last year. And it happened for us so that we could actually have clarity.

And a lot of people made this joke of 2020 was the year we're going to have perfect vision and et cetera, et cetera. Maybe it was perfect vision to realize how effed up the world is and how much we need each other and what actually matters. I think for too long, we either worshiped or put things in priorities that are not priorities. And if the world were to end today, no one would give a shit about some of that stuff straight up. They wouldn't care, but the people.

Oh, I mean, that's what I would say. And that's part of the journey of whatever God's put on your heart, just like the book and the podcast and some of the stuff we're doing, you should share it because you just never know who you're going to impact and your lessons that can help somebody. And so by giving that away, it's like giving a gift away, right? So if you like to give gifts and you like to make an impact, I would say that that's what this year is going to be about. I think it's sharing that and doing, doing more for each other. I love that. Thank you so much, Brian. It's been a pleasure.

Can you tell our listeners where they can find you? Of course. So love hang out on the IG. So Instagram is just the Brian Covey. And then I'm on LinkedIn quite a bit. So you can find Brian Covey there. And then Facebook, I've got a page. We actually have just created. So we'll start putting some promotions around. But the conversations with Covey, we actually created a group.

And so if you want to be part of that, there'll be some special offers. You'll get to meet some of the kind of authors in the book with me. And we'll be doing some coaching there, all free stuff, just basically to give back and let you guys connect up with the people that actually wrote in the book and are given these lessons. So I'm excited about that part of the journey because I'm on the early stages, but yeah, I'd love to connect up and please shoot me a DM if you listen to this and let me know where we connected up along the way. And if our listeners want to take advantage of these amazing rates and get a loan to go buy a condo on a beach, where can they find you to do that? Go to loan depot dot com and you can search for somebody local in your market.

And I love that because now is the time. So if you go on there, we'll make sure to take care of you. And we'd be honored. Yeah, money's basically free right now. I loved your little clip of how excited you were about you guys doing a commercial during the NBA finals. That was awesome. That was so cool. We're doing more of those. And that's what I love about our CEO is he's basically figured out, okay, where is the attention of the consumer? How do we get to the consumer first? And then how do we take care of and just deliver this exceptional experience? So I'm like, it's fun.

That's awesome. You know what, Brian? I went to high school with Damian Maldonado. I don't know if you know who Damian is. He's, you know, so ceo and and he created american financing is that what it's called american financing i don't know is that american yeah american yeah i don't remember um yeah i mean he's he you know he they sell houses worldwide he's got john elway on his commercials okay so that I know that much

American it is American financing yeah so a boy I mean it's funny because you know I know him just very casually you know and so I'm always like wait your good friend is like that Branson guy you know they're like they go all over the world together and I'm just like it's so funny but he he always has great commercials and he always has these big people and I'm just like man that's so cool I need to get him on my podcast too but he's kind of shy he's quiet he's very shy I asked him on and he said no because he was too shy but Brian you know I wanted to say really fast that I think also another shift I'm seeing from 2020 and the COVID is that a lot of companies like yours are implementing a lot more connection, authenticity, genuineness. And it made a lot of big, huge corporations sit back and go, wow, because they were forced into it. I mean, you're on Zoom with people and there's children in the background and you're seeing a piece of their home even in

the background. And so people were feeling more connected. Do you agree with that? A hundred percent. I think that pulling back the curtain and having dogs interrupt and kids walk in was the best thing that could happen. We were taking ourselves too seriously. And then you think about like, how many times would I be able to go into team members homes and experience that with them? And it just, I think it brought down guardrails where we knew, look, we're going to get the job done. Like first and foremost, we're getting things done. We're also going to have a good time while we do it together. And it's okay that you come in a t-shirt. It's okay that your dog's barking. You know what guys, that doesn't matter. Let's take care of our customers. Let's take care of our team members and let's, let's do the things that matter and not worry about it.

And for me personally, like just talking to you, if I were to think about like going to get a loan, I would much rather give my time and my money to someone who is genuine and authentic and who is a leader like you versus some guy in a suit who's all stoic. You know, I mean, that's our new world. Well, we all do. You know what, Mandy? And here's the thing. This is hilarious. The other day, Kinsley was doing remote school and her teachers, like, you you know trying to teach 30 kids on these little squares and everything and you can totally hear her her husband like like totally working sealing the deal i mean he was like into his conversation too and she's trying to teach and this little boy goes um um miss howard we can hear your husband it He was into it too.

He was jamming. But you know, shit happens. It's not just him, it's everybody. So, and everyone's kind of relaxed about, I mean, you know what? We've all got, like you said. Yeah, we've all gotten a glimpse into real reality. And, you know, social media was taking us in a direction

that wasn't like all reality. We only got to see like all the good being posted up. And so zoom has really opened up, um, a lot of what's real and, um, broke, broken that, uh, kind of FOMO, you know, and that perfection that everyone thought they were leading. I mean, I'm sitting on the floor and you can see my, you know, my bare walls. Like, it's not like I'm living in some fortune, you know, like massive mansion. Like it just, does that make sense? Like it gives everyone a sense of reality. Yeah.

I think it's better that way too. Like just be you. That's what I tell people. Show up. Show up. Yeah. Well, you have been such a pleasure. Thank you for, you know, being a light in the universe. And, you know, corporate America needs more people like you. this new modern way of things are different. It's not like when we grew up. So I'm excited to be

part of that and hopefully, you know, change some lives along the way, leading other leaders to know it's okay to be you. You don't have to be the steps to. So can you get the book anywhere? Can you get the book on Amazon everywhere? You can. So we're going to be launching it towards middle or end of the month. We're actually working on a couple of different cover options. That's I'm the hold up. I'm the one that's kind of my OCD in this is like perfectionism. Yep. Yep. And I want it to be one, you know, cause you only get the one release. So I'm, I'm holding it up right now, but yeah, we're going to start doing that. And then the Facebook group will be great to get more resources. Um, but we'll be putting that out there. I can't wait. It'll be audible. I think

we'll have the, um, digital copy. And then I think we're doing the soft cover, maybe a couple of hard covers, but I'm excited. You'll be able to get anywhere. The book is there kind of launched on the Facebook group, but not really launched. You know, we're just kind of like, yeah, we're almost there. We're almost there. Awesome. Well, I can't wait to read it. It's right up my alley. That sounds like that is a book I would definitely pick off a shelf because I love hearing people's genuine, authentic stories and then finding connection within it and being able to take those tangible things and implement them into my own life. So what a cool book, Brian.

Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. You're awesome. Your podcast is awesome. And a lot of people don't understand like the work podcasting takes. I mean, it is a lot of work, right? It is. Thank you. You're awesome. Your podcast is awesome. And a lot of people don't understand like the work podcasting takes. I mean, it is a lot of work, right? It is. Thank goodness.

We got a good team and some stuff. I realized very quickly I've got to outsource because my full-time day job and dad and husband and all that take priority. So I was like, you know what? Yeah. It was a pleasure meeting you, Brian. Thank you. Yes.

Thanks for being with us today. We hope you will come back next week. If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate, like, and subscribe. Thank you. We rise to lift you up. Thanks for listening.