Senses Working Overtime with David Cross - Dave Hill
Episode Date: October 3, 2024Dave Hill (The Dave Hill Goodtime Hour) joins David to talk about performing at Rikers, German bars, and more. Catch all new episodes every Thursday. Watch video episodes here.Due to fer...vent fan response, Dave Hill’s Off-Broadway show, Dave Hill: Caveman In A Spaceship, has been extended through November 4 at SoHo Playhouse. Full dates, times and tickets are available here - https://www.sohoplayhouse.com/upcoming-events/dave-hillSubscribe and Rate Senses Working Overtime on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!Follow David on Instagram and Twitter.Follow the show:Instagram: @sensesworkingovertimepodTikTok: @swopodEditor: Kati SkeltonEngineer: Nicole LyonsExecutive Producer: Emma FoleyAdvertise on Senses Working Overtime via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast, We're Here to Help.
But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen.
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Smell his feet
Will you have your choice of seat?
Of these two.
Of these two. Yeah.
Where are you going to sit?
The other chair that you don't sit in.
Oh, okay.
Maybe this one?
Okay.
Is that right?
Sure.
Of course.
Or should we switch and then our shirts will contrast, our chairs better?
Yeah.
That's a good idea, right?
Show business.
Show business.
It's all about contrasting shirts.
Yes.
Okay.
It's half the battle. All. Yes. Path of battle.
Alright.
How you doing?
Good.
How are you?
Good.
I want to talk about that crazy prison...
Oh yeah.
...prison gig we had.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah.
This is refreshing.
I don't think I've been in this chair in a while.
Did I steal your chair?
You did not.
I gave you the option.
You took your option.
There's not, I don't have a preference.
It's cold.
Yeah. Totally.
I'm usually complaining about how it's not cold enough.
And today it's a little brisk.
I was just in New Orleans for a couple of days
and it is, I don't understand.
I love the city, great city,
but how do people live there during the summer?
I mean, it's ridiculous.
Oh yeah.
I take three showers, you know?
You get new shirts.
It's a three shower town.
It's a three shower town.
That's their slogan.
What were you doing there? I did a show at town. It's a three shower town. That's their slogan. What were you doing there?
Just-
I did a show at Tipitina's.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, great.
With Sean Patton and Shane Torres.
Oh, excellent.
It was really fun.
And great venue, great crowd.
Also nice section to town.
I'd never really stayed in the uptown part,
but it's certainly preferable to downtown. That's for sure.
Yeah. Yeah, it was nice. I liked it.
Yeah.
But 90, and look, I'm from Georgia, so I understand the heat and the humidity,
but they're below sea level.
So it doesn't like cool off at night.
Yeah.
Like in Georgia, at least if you're up in the mountains,
you know, your Atlanta is like, you know,
1200, 1300 feet high, you know,
it's like, it cools down a little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
But this...
No, it's nonstop. You just gotta go with it. I mean, yeah. But this... No, it's non-stop. You just got to go with it.
I mean, yeah, you have no choice. But, well, actually, you do have a choice. You can move.
You can move. You can move to Phoenix, you know? Yeah, which is, that's worse, right?
Yeah, it's way worse. Not because of the weather, but because it's Phoenix as opposed to New Orleans.
Yeah, it's charming. New Orleans were the top three cities in America
as opposed to New Orleans. Yeah, it's charmless.
New Orleans were the top three cities in America, in one of the top three worst states in America.
Crazy, right?
Yeah.
So New York's one of the other cities.
What's the third city?
Bloomington.
I didn't see that coming.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's why I'm a professional.
I don't know.
Let's see.
In the states, I'd say New York for sure, number one.
Yeah.
And New Orleans, very special. I guess everything else is like, they like Boston and Massachusetts, but I wouldn't want to live there.
I lived there for a long time.
But I'd live in Seattle.
Seattle is a good city.
Yeah.
I live in Chicago.
I really like Chicago.
Chicago is excellent.
But I have hangups about Chicago because being from Cleveland, it just seems, I think of
Chicago as sort of super Cleveland.
Really?
See, I see Cleveland is Cleveland and Chicago is super Chicago.
That's probably more accurate.
Cleveland is, is it's just seems to have, you know, gone off track, like before I was even born
and they just never got back on track.
Is that fair?
I can't, I can't, I can't agree with that.
Just, you know, I'd be in trouble.
Um, no, I, I'm the de facto mayor.
No, it's a great city
My my problem with Cleveland is just everyone moves further and further out and sure would so there's no
There's a lot of that not a lot can happen when people keep doing that. Well, I love the Guardians
Stadium, they got a good team. Oh, yeah, it's a good team
And I like the new park
Yeah, that's a good park. I don't know what it's called.
They change the name every season.
I think it's a it's an ointment.
It's the the currently it's like
it's not preparation.
But it's a it's not preparation age, but it's an ointment.
It seems like, you know,
or maybe gold bond powder gold bond.
That would be a good, good one field.
Yeah, that would be a good one. Field. Yeah, that would be a good one.
Yeah.
I'm always surprised when I learn that
the naming rights to like, you know,
whatever the Bitcoin thing at the,
the staple center used to be,
and now it's like a Bitcoin thing.
And it's like, you find out that the naming rights
went for $100,000 and you're like,
why doesn't somebody just step up
and buy it, but just, you know, David Cross Field.
Like, I'll pay a hundred grand.
It's doable.
And you know, what is it?
Like AAA park?
I'll do that.
David Cross is awesome.
To a field.
Okay, and we're coming live to you from David Cross
is going on tour. This is the entire name of the field.
The end of the beginning of the end tour starting in September going through 44 towns in America.
You can find out where and how to get tickets at his website, officialdavidcross.com.
Field.
It's a mouthful.
You have to say it every time. tickets at his website, officialdavidcross.com field.
Field.
That's a mouthful.
You have to say it every time.
Is that why, is that the, that's the thinking though, is that you like progressive field
or whatever, which I think maybe the Cleveland field was called.
Oh, I think you're right.
Yeah.
It is, oh, it might still be called that.
It is called that maybe.
I think so.
But why, so they do that.
So you think of the product?
Well, I can tell you, I go to
number of baseball games a year, number of sporting events.
And and I certainly watch a lot on TV and I
and I always patronize the the sponsor.
So I have I switched my insurance to progressive.
I have now have Bitcoin, cryptocurrency.
Let's see, Truist Park in Atlanta, I bank with them.
You shift everything.
Exclusively.
It works, it really works.
Who, what are some other ones that I'm missing?
Those are the big ones, because, yeah, I always think like I like to think
that I reject whatever the thing is.
No, whatever it is, I go all in.
Yeah, always.
You know, it does work.
I wouldn't reject David Cross.
The name you had, that's it.
I would be on board with that as a, you know As a fan and a friend, if I can say that,
I fully support it.
You can say it.
Legally, I believe.
Yeah.
What's the date?
Is it, oh, it's still August.
No, you can't say it.
Oh, shit.
Starting in September, you can say it.
Okay, hold off.
Oh, look at those shoes.
Yeah, I just got them.
What are those?
They're D'Adora. D'Adora, fancy. Yeah, I just got them. What are those? They're D'Adora.
D'Adora, fancy.
Yeah, they're Italian.
I'll say.
But a friend of mine.
Sexy.
Yeah.
Wait, a friend of yours?
A friend of mine.
Is D'Adora?
No, he's friends with a guy
and they were kind enough to send me these.
Oh, nice.
But I like them.
Yeah, they look, well, they're stylish.
They're stylish and they look, and they're comfortable.
And I run in them.
Good.
And I can run.
What are you running from?
A lot, just my, a constant anxiety, I think,
is the real.
Do you have anxiety?
Yeah.
Yeah, do you take anything for it?
Not regularly, no.
But I just try to go running and it helps.
Well, that's good. Yeah.
Do you?
But I do have a stash of clonopin.
And that's some serious stuff.
That's like when you're, when you're going to fly and you're anxious to take a
clonopin.
Yeah, I don't.
I, I got prescribed it like a few years ago for, I was having a particularly
anxious period and I used it for a few days
and then I stretched it out for years just little nibbles here and there when I needed
it.
Jesus, how big was the actual dose?
It was like the size of a cake?
I don't know.
It was just like a jar of things, pills.
Right.
I don't know why I struggle to think of pills.
You've got an emotional block on it. Yeah, yeah.
Because you're not proud of your behavior.
No, no.
And the person or the I'm assuming it was a doctor.
Yeah.
Prescribed it.
Not yes, not a friend of a friend.
No, no, it was a doctor.
Same guy.
I guess.
I don't know.
Same same guy.
Yeah.
She could say she's going to do for everything.
Have you gone back to the person who prescribed it to you and said, and things are better,
things are worse, things are the same?
I went back to him recently and asked for another prescription,
but it had been four years and he said,
clearly you're not abusing this if you made one prescription last.
So I guess, something of, I don't know.
So do you get like an attack or a,
do you just get overwhelmed sometimes or?
Yeah, I think I just have phases,
you know, where I'll have a couple weeks.
I think I started, yeah, a few weeks ago,
I was just like, you know, it did it.
I realized it wasn't like it was just the fact
that we even have to go through this election.
I was just like, yeah, regardless.
I think there are a number of people in that.
Yeah, who feel I was just I'd started me.
I just sort of like, was,
and it wasn't solely that of a,
but once you like sort of like back up the truck,
then you allow all sorts of things to just jump on.
So I was like, ah, I could use a little,
but I think I've only had a couple nibbles,
as I like to say, you know, a little half.
You're not one of those people who's like,
you're stumbling for the thing.
No, I got the shoes.
Right, the shoes mitigate a lot of the anxiety.
Yeah, I just go running.
How can you be anxious with the shoes?
I know, look at these.
I didn't even intentionally match the socks.
That just pulled them out of the laundry bag.
Happy accident.
Yeah.
Dave, is there anything, we're talking to Dave Hill,
is there anything you'd like to plug?
I'm glad you asked, yes.
I'm doing a residency at Soho Playhouse
starting September 16th.
Here in New York City.
Here in New York City.
My show, Dave Hill, Caveman in a Spaceship.
And we have four weeks and I want everyone to come. of my show, Dave Hill, Caveman in a Spaceship.
And we have four weeks and I want everyone to come. Sure.
Well, I can vouch for you.
You're a warmhearted, clever, funny person.
Oh, thank you.
It's very kind of you.
And let's talk briefly about the prison gig we did.
Yes, Rikers, technically a jail. Let's talk briefly about the prison gig we did. Yes.
Rikers, technically in jail.
Yes.
I mean, that's a matter of semantics, I gotta say.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, really.
They had murderers there.
Yeah, well, yeah, the semantics, you're right,
because it's really, I think they, yeah.
I think the way it works is the
murderers go there and then after sentencing, then they'll
go to prison. So with credit for time served, of course,
right. It's a so Dave and I were part of a number of us like a
good seven, eight different comedians, a lot, a lot more
than I expected. When you're rolling into a prison.
Yeah, with all these, and it's Rikers, which is, you know.
Legendary.
Yeah, renowned.
Oh, and we were there doing a show
for some prisoners who had been vetted,
or I was under the impression that they
were the least harmful people.
But it turns out that wasn't quite the case.
I didn't know that.
We were there with, we each had a dog.
It was part of a program that hooks up prisoners with dogs
to take care of.
Great, great, you know, worthy cause, great idea.
Happy to do it, happy to be a part of it.
And you know, very cool thing to, you know, hook up these really violent folks who,
I wonder if violent and folks has ever been put together.
I think it should be.
I think that's the lesson you learn.
And then you bring a dog,
and we were each given a dog to bring,
there wasn't a stage, it was just some fold you know, fold out metal chairs, and then we
went up, and there was actually a mic that was unnecessary, because there were only, what, how
many prisoners were there? 12, 13? At most, yeah. At most, yeah. It was very awkward, and there was
a long, long, long wait, because of security, which we, and I can't remember where I had to go,
but I was getting very, very nervous.
It was a thing that I had to, I couldn't be late for.
And also, shockingly, Rikers is not the easiest place
to get into or out of.
It's not like you can call a Lyft.
I was wondering, when you left, I was wondering,
I was like, how is he gonna get out of here?
I got a ride to one of the ladies
who was part of the Rikers thing,
gave me a ride to outside the gates.
And so we kind of flew, she flashed her badge
and I flat, you know, got my pass and everything.
We went, there's like three different gates
and security things.
And then she, once we got into, you know,
a civilization or whatever you call it,
she dropped me off and she said,
oh, you can get a Lyft, a Lyft will come here.
And there, and I did, and there was one in seven minutes,
there was a, you know, it's in kind of a remote area.
And I went to, I can't remember what I had to do,
but I was definitely like, I had to do,
it was like pick up my daughter, get on a plane, or one of those things where like, I can't remember what I had to do, but I was definitely like, I had to do, it was like pick up my daughter, get on a plane,
or one of those things where like, I can't miss this.
Yeah.
And it was, I didn't, unfortunately didn't stick around.
It was a second person up.
And I would say it was not one of my best sets.
It was strong, don't do this to yourself.
It was, the biggest reaction and laugh I got
was when the dog that I had taken up there
pissed on the floor.
That entertained everybody far more than my,
it's always good.
What I think is clever.
And, but yeah, we got a really, really late late start because and that's when I found out like oh these guys had to be cleared
Like we had to go and they were waiting for the news to show up and all this shit and yeah
And there were all these
To get into the actual prison
Complex there was all these
prison complex, there was all these rules and it's like,
you can't bring in your own water, you can't, your phone has to be on airplane mode and...
No phone.
I was surprised, could we bring our, no,
we couldn't bring our phone.
Yeah, you had to leave your phones and no guns.
They took my guns, they took my guns, plural, they took all of them, I gave them back, but yeah, you had to leave your phones and and and no guns. They took my guns. They took my gun guns, plural.
They took all of them.
I gave them back. But yeah, you can't bring it.
I mean, it was like one of my on a flight to L.A.
This is prison for fuck's sake.
Well, you can't. I I did it.
We're talking about this.
I did I went I did a couple of shows at Sing Sing.
Mm hmm. A few years ago.
And with that, I didn't know of shows at Sing Sing a few years ago.
And with that, I didn't know why they were being like,
everything, they're like, do you have everything?
So I brought a guitar in and I was like,
yeah, I think I got everything.
They're like, no, do you have every,
like anything that you leave behind or that someone grabbed
will be turned into a weapon.
Right.
No matter what it is.
And I was like, oh. Right. I'm a weapon. Right. No matter what it is. And I was like, oh.
Right.
I'm not thinking.
Right.
Correctly.
Oh, and I remember how I found out,
it was the woman who drove me back.
So she goes, she's pointing some stuff out.
You know, it's a fairly large complex.
She goes, that's where all the, you know,
the blah, blah, blah, those are the the sexual debut that, and that housing is this.
And I was asking her some questions and then she
said, Oh no, they were all, uh, uh, this is where
you were, was, uh, you know, murder and violent
assault or something like that.
I was like, really?
And I was surprised because I thought it was going
to be like the cream of the crop as it were.
Sure, yeah.
But it was the cream of a different crop.
It was a cream and it was a, but it was, yeah,
it was a, which makes me think my little quips about like,
well, look, I'm free so I can, you know,
it was like maybe not the best.
I love that.
Because you, I mean, everybody's just staring at me,
not a smile, just like, you know.
I thought it was very funny.
I mean, I might have told you about this that day or on the,
stop me if I did or maybe just tell.
When I did Singsing the first time,
Laura Kraft, you know Laura.
Yeah, Laura's great.
Yeah, she's amazing.
And so she really wanted to come.
And I had no idea what to expect.
And so it was her and my friend Carl Arnheider.
And we went out there.
And there was like 300 guys.
Wow.
And I was expecting more of that. Yeah
Yeah, that's what you know not to say show
Yeah, I don't I don't want to say like well disappointed with the crowd it right guys about it
yeah, I was sort of expecting like a big room full of people and
so
She went out there and she was
She went out there and she was, at one point she waved me to come on stage.
She's like, I want to get off stage, I'm done.
I didn't understand.
I thought it was part of a bit and I was like, okay.
Then-
This is who, Laura?
Laura, yeah. She was wearing a beautiful dress and she's all, you know, show business.
She was there to perform.
And I can see she's very upset on the,
I go back out and I'm performing
and I see this corrections officer go over to her
and afterwards I'm like, what was going on?
And he's like, oh, well he he, he could see I was upset.
So he came over and he asked me if everything was okay.
And I asked him, what would you say?
And she said, I said, I just got a little scared.
And then he said, well, you know, I got scared, don't you?
And she's expecting like some insight into the human psyche or something.
She didn't, she's like, why, why? Why did I get scared? You're a pussy.
The guy, he goes, he points at the audience and he goes, those guys are all murders and rapists.
It was her vibe. She picked up on it.
Yeah.
She read the room as it were.
That's what she said. Because they weren't saying, they weren't heckling, they weren't saying anything.
No, I think that was, in my experience at Rikers,
it was just the staring that was so disquieting.
Yeah, I have to admit, I kind of just went,
just stared kind of over their heads a little bit.
Yeah, I mean, you can't help but make eye contact
unless you do that, but like, yeah,
it was tough room, as I say.
But my favorite moment, and it wasn't a great experience. It was an experience, but it's not like I walked out of there going, man,
I'm really glad I did that.
I changed some lives out there, you know.
But was the woman who was hosting, who is a nice enough lady, but kind of,
and you find this a lot where somebody who has done
a couple of standup gigs and fancies themselves a standup,
but isn't really a standup and hosts something
and then does a bunch of time.
And she was talking about, I was in jail too,
and she was talking about this thing that happened
with a woman who she let stay at her place,
whatever long story short.
And at some point she's saying to these guys,
and she says, and I quote,
I don't know about you guys, but I'm terrified of AI.
And that made me laugh so fucking hard.
Like, yeah, I don't think that's really
on their minds right now.
I don't think these guys in Rikers for Murder
are too concerned about AI taking their jobs or whatever.
Oh my gosh.
Hey, I don't know about you.
I don't know about you guys, but I'm terrified of AI.
Yeah, that's all we talk about.
Oh man, I hope they don't put words in.
I hope there's not a fake Charlie Sheen someday.
Yeah, that was the highlight of the gig for me.
That was pretty good.
Nice enough, you know, everybody was planning it
and trying, it was well-meaning.
Yeah.
Can't, don't know if it did a lot.
You know, if we even touched one.
One dog.
One dog.
I had a great dog that day.
I, my dog was not great.
And I, and it was, uh, um, and I'm a little, you know, and I acknowledge
it a little prejudice against those small, uh, you know, pocketbook dogs.
And, um, I just don't like them.
And I have a dog, I had a dog before this dog,
and I had a dog before that dog.
And-
What is your current dog?
Where?
What kind?
A Bernadoodle.
My wife was highly allergic to my other dog,
who I had before I met her, so she had it.
That was like kind of a Black Lab mix?
Who, Ollie?
Yeah. Ollie was a rescue dog,
but we did the DNA swab and it came back.
There was nothing that was 50 percent or over,
but the most prominent things in the mix
was Akita and Rottweiler.
Oh.
She was awesome. She was a great dog.
Yeah, I met her once or twice. Yeah. Yeah, sweet. She came to a couple of gates sometimes when I had She was great. Yeah, I met her once or twice.
Yeah.
Yeah, she came to a couple of gigs sometimes.
I remember I saw you,
you did a gig with her at comics on stage.
She was on stage with you.
Well, I probably had nowhere to put her.
I think that was.
I was like, I can't.
Doing a show and you came and did a set.
I probably walked out and was living in
an East Village so I just walked down there.
Yeah. And I was out and I was living in East Village, so I just walked down there and I was like,
I can't, I got nowhere to leave her,
so I'll just bring her on stage.
You can't put the dog in the dressing room,
it's the dog's like, where's my guy?
Yeah, so now we got a really goofy,
big muppety dog that we had to get a hypoallergenic dog for my wife.
And it was for my daughter, it was a surprise for her birthday, for her seventh birthday.
So we went, we drove about five hours.
This is back in January or December, I don't know. It was cold. It was snowing up like
about an hour outside of Buffalo. And went to this place in the middle and oh, it was
like a Christian town, like almost bordering on like you could see it like a bad horror film, you know,
like it's, so we go to this, what was it called?
And as you're coming in, it's tiny, right?
And as you're coming in, it's like, not independence,
what was it called?
It was like a cutesy name like that.
And there's just more and more, it's tiny, right?
And more and more like kind of Christian theme.
There's a Christian school,
like Christian high school kind of boarding school.
And then we go into the hotel that we had reserved.
And it was like one of those places
where there's nobody there
and they leave an envelope with your name on it
in your room and there was nobody there.
It's all Christian
stuff. So there's like Bible trivia games and Bible books for the kids and it's all
you know, Christian stuff. And then when we went to the woman who breeds these dogs and went to her house and there's just, it's filled with those kind of
like sort of platitudes and you know, today's your day and Daniel, you know, 7-12 and you know,
like just stuff all over the walls and things about, you know, with Jesus, all things are good and whatever. And it was just
inundated with everything was Christian. And it was just, I mean, nothing outside of that,
but you could see it's like that kind of Twilight Zone, like, what's going on? And like, hi, how
are you? Welcome. You can't leave now, you know, that kind of thing. But so, yeah, we surprised my daughter and this.
Did she know that's why you were going to this town?
No, she knew that was for her birthday.
She knew she was gonna like it.
She knew it was exciting.
And then we have this on, we have it on video,
but so in this woman's house and there's like, it's sectioned
off a little doggie gate, whatever, we go into the kitchen, it's all big open area,
house just like Christ would have liked it. And then there's this, the mom had had, I don't know, it was like 12, a litter of 12. And these are all like six week old puppies, five weeks old.
Right.
And she goes in and she thinks that's the present is just, she gets
to hang out with a bunch of puppies.
And then she's all excited and they're all hopping all over.
And, and, and we said, no, Marla, you can pick one and this will be your dog.
And, um, she got so excited and she was thrilled.
And she, this dog who basically picked her, they picked each other, um, who she
named Rose fighter, Rose fighter jet Cross is the dog's name.
That's a really good name.
It's a good name.
That was her name.
It's surprising.
Rose Fighter Jet.
And then my favorite thing is she gave her the surname.
Yeah.
I don't know what dogs would, but all right.
So it's.
Where did Fighter Jet come from?
I don't know.
I don't know.
This is the soft hard combo. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. This is the soft hard
Combo. Yeah, I did I don't yeah, I like it
So and then this puppy that was I mean honestly the size of
You know a beanie baby type bit of teeny is now like a fucking pony
that not even nine months yet. And yeah.
Do you guys go hanging out, run around, go to the park and stuff every day?
Yep. Took her there this morning. It's first time in a while because we had to
have her spayed. So we had her spayed so she had stitches that we had to be mindful
of.
Some downtime.
She was going nuts because she wasn't able to run around. She's a fucking hyper goofy, goofy, doesn't know her own size, strength and just, and
also moves like a puppy.
You know what I mean?
Oh yeah.
And just super goofy and low P and hyper and bouncing around.
And so yeah, this morning I took her to the dog park.
First time in like 12 days, so that was good.
Oh wow, oh that's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's my favorite.
I do that every morning with my dog.
With my dog.
Oh, I was gonna say. To be clear.
Yeah.
What is your dog?
She's a boxer pit bull. Let's let's see if she oh I'm not interested
No, no there. Come on. Oh, yeah. Oh very nice. Yeah, she's a sweetie. That's Lucy
Yeah, she's about 65 pounds
Yeah, yeah, that's bigger than I oh yeah, she looks what's her name Lucy
Yeah, that's bigger than I, oh yeah, she looks, what's her name? Lucy.
Hmm.
Oh, this was really funny.
Lucifuge is the full name.
This, that's much better.
Yeah.
This morning, this is for real.
So I was at the dog park.
It's not really funny.
I'm going to amend it.
It's more interesting than funny.
So at this little complex in between these two big buildings, Brooklyn, so there's a
dog run, there's a big dog run,
little dog run for little dogs, and then, you know,
some grass and greenery and stuff,
and then a big playground for kids, right?
That's divided.
And this woman was in there with her dog,
and she goes, and I'm sitting on the bench,
and she's like, Apollo, come on.
And not two seconds later, a mom 25 feet away
in the playground, a mom was like, Apollo, let's go.
So maybe think you could do a little quiz about,
you know, Brooklyn, is it the dog's name or a kid's name?
That's amazing.
Apollo and Apollo, immediately.
Wow.
It was pretty good.
Apollo, let's go. Apollo, come on,
it's going home.
That's a lot of pressure.
Kid named Apollo.
To name your kid after a dog that you-
Yeah, and the dog's right over there.
Yeah, it's weird.
Lot of pressure.
Dog's more fun, probably.
Yeah. We can assume.
But eventually, the dog's never gonna pay you back.
The dog's never gonna contribute outside of
their just being a dog.
And hopefully you have a kid,
so the whole reason anybody has a kid is like,
I'm old, feed me and change my shorts.
Yeah, that's true.
I have concerns about that.
You know?
Or is my dog's not gonna step up? And aren't, you know. Oh that. You know, my dog's not going to step up.
Oh, they're not. The dog won't.
And it's just going to take and take and take and take and take and take until you kill it.
Yeah.
Which, you know, I think when that day comes, probably.
Sooner, better, and later, right?
Yeah, all of us together.
Are you going to party?
Like have a big, like death party?
Yeah.
No, I don't know.
I hope we just get taken out by like a truck or something.
Yeah.
I think that would be the best.
Take her to the PQE, let her loose.
Oh no.
Oh my gosh.
How old is your dog?
She's nine.
Okay, so.
So, just getting up there.
Bread or rescue?
Rescue. Yeah, so. Mutt as we call him. Right, so she'll or rescue? Rescue.
Yeah, so-
Mutt as we call it.
Right, so she'll live a little while.
When did that change?
When?
When you actually rescue them.
But I didn't-
A mutt is a mutt and a rescue is a dog is a,
potentially a mutt that you are rescuing
from the kill shelter.
But aren't, isn't that every-
You know what's interesting?
I never, I'm sorry to interrupt, but kill shelter. But aren't there's not every you know, it's interesting. I never I'm sorry to interrupt, but kill shelter.
Those are two words that don't really
the kill shelter.
That's no good.
There are two. They don't belong together.
Well, the my violent folks kill shelter.
You just get a good days
and then it's going to go south. Kill shelter.
My dog came up in like a van from Tennessee and I was out of town and I couldn't pick
her up and I go, the van's going to pull up to some street corner in New York and you
have to be there to get her.
I was out of town.
I'm like, well, what's going to happen if I can't be there, I'm like, well,
she'll just go back in the van.
I was like, well, then what happens?
I'm like, well, it's probably not good.
Well, wait, they drove all the way up, so what happened?
I was able to get like friend of a friend
to scoop up the dog.
And I got her a couple of days later.
Wow.
It all worked out.
Man, when we got, it was such a crazy, crazy experience.
I started writing about it,
like just to have it written down,
but do you know Sarah Egan?
Yeah.
Yeah, so Sarah and I were going out
and it was one of those things where we had gone out
for a long time, broken up, it was a bad breakup.
And then, I don't know, year later we got back together
and then it was like super intense, right?
And we decided we were gonna get a dog
and I had wanted a dog.
And so we got, we ended up getting Ollie and we,
and she found her like through this site much, much like your Tennessee thing. I think she was part of a litter that was in West
Virginia and then there was this woman that Sarah contacted who facilitates this for a fee, she'll hook you up with whatever.
And we have to, we had to meet her, it was in Jersey, like over by Grove, you know?
That's the section, right? It's like, it's past, that's the one in, like in the kids on the path train.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Like I want to say Grove station or something.
Jersey city gross gross.
Something like that.
Yeah.
So, so go to Jersey city and then we get there and nobody, we go up.
There's two girls.
I want to say like nine or 10 and they're playing, they're like bouncing a
ball off of a stoop stairs.
And we go up to ring the bell,
the address we've been given.
And they're like, oh.
This sounds like a trap, by the way.
Oh, the whole thing is weird, it gets weirder.
She goes, oh, they're not there.
Oh, okay.
It's like, yeah, she went to the beach. Okay, but she
should be back any minute. Okay, and then they continue to do
the ball, right. And we're sitting there. And like, I don't
know what is going on. And then after a couple minutes, no more more than 10 minutes. This car pulls up and there is the angriest looking butch lesbian
driving and then this other woman gets out and she's like, Hey, Sarah, David, hi, I'm
Jenny or whatever. And she gets out of the car and she goes up and she's the mom
of one of the kids and she opens up, it's like, I'll be there in a second, hang on.
And there's this woman who's driving, who's just glowering, right?
And oh, and they were at the beach.
Did I mention that?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
So she goes up and she lets this girl in and whatever and then comes back like five minutes later.
She's like, yeah, get in the car. Where's the dog? Oh, dog's at my place.
Okay, where are we going? She's like, so caucus.
So caucus.
We're like, what the fuck? And we get in the car. And I remember a couple things.
One is there's sand everywhere.
It's like a shitty car and there's sand everywhere.
And then there's tons of Stevie Nicks stickers
and things hanging from the rear view mirror
and tons of Stevie Nicks shit everywhere.
Oh, actual Stevie.
Like things you march for whatever.
With her name, like actual photos and pictures.
It wasn't just.
No, no, it's like stuff, you know,
memorabilia, whatever.
Things he, bookmark, whatever.
Yeah.
So, Stevie Nicks shit everywhere.
I just didn't know if you meant just like
dream catchers and feathers and lace and things.
Well, there was some of that,
but it was all Stevie Nicks themed.
Sure.
And so, and the woman driving is,
doesn't say a fucking word to us
and is clearly, clearly pissed off.
And there's this weird energy intention
and we're driving, you know, occasionally like,
where are we going?
Because it did, they seemed somewhat harmless.
They obviously was, you know, the girl knew
that we were gonna be there or whatever,
but so it didn't seem like we were gonna be kidnapped
or anything, but it was super sketchy.
And we're driving further and further away from,
you know, civilization as a word.
We're driving further and further away from residential streets and 7-Elevens and gas stations.
We're in the really nasty part of SACOC.
It's just overgrown with vegetation that has been cut back and chain link fences and disused
warehouses.
And it's just fucking, there's nobody around.
And we go, eventually there's like a smallish kind of flat,
one story warehouse thing.
We're alongside this on like an access road drive up
and she drives into this, like there's nothing there. It's just cement and asphalt
and a warehouse and I'm really like, what the fuck is going on? And then in a corner is a house,
the only house probably within a mile. And it's a house within the confines of this fenced in
and it's a house within the confines of this fenced in warehouse area.
That's not small.
It's not like, you know,
it's not like a couple of storage units.
It's a, whatever it used to be, you know,
and cracked asphalt and all this stuff.
We round the thing.
She parks in front and she goes,
so she parks, we go to get out. She's like, Oh, no, no, no, I'll
bring the you stay here. I'll bring the I'll bring the dogs
out. It's just a crazy it's crazy in there, whatever. And
this other woman has not said anything. She's just staring.
She's so pissed off. I'm assuming maybe she got she she
didn't tell her once they got to the beach,
like, oh, right, we can only stay for an hour because I got, that's in my head, like, that's
why she's so pissed off. And that doesn't even talk to, I mean, it's weird. And we're sitting there
and I'm like, can I, I can get out of the car though, and just sort of be out. I can hang out, right? Okay. Okay. Sarah, let's
get out of the car. And we get out. She goes, this woman goes in and it's the kind of house,
the kind of Jersey house with a, I don't know, there's like a word for it where it's like
you walk in, it's a vegetable, but it's sort of, it's like you see it a lot in 50s houses where
it's like got the screen kind of door. And then there's like a good, you know, foot and
a half, two feet before the front door, but it's enclosed. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?
Like a very 50s 40s looking with a kind of metal. So it's like one of those things. She
flicks on the light and we hear not only, oh, oh,
also, I forgot to mention this, the sun is starting to go down.
The sun has started to go down on this journey.
And she flicks, she walks in and you hear every kind of fucking animal you can imagine.
It's birds and dogs and cats and weird shit.
And then you can see, because she flicks on the light and you can see shadows of all this
craziness that's happening. And then we kind of sit on the little steps and, you know,
at this point it's been a long time. we're like, what the fuck is going on? And then she brings out, there's three dogs in the litter and she brings out the dog that would
become Ollie and Ollie's all licky, licky and we had made this thing, like don't just jump at the
first dog, let's just see everything. Brings Ollie back, brings out the, and they're sisters,
and brings out the three dogs. And we're
like, can we see the first dog again? And the first dog came out and was just super licky,
more than the other ones. And we're like, okay, this is her, we're going to take her. And then,
just she gave us a little crate as part of the money because it was not cheap.
And then, uh, took her on the path back to East Village and that was that.
Wow.
And was this, they bred this dog or these were? No, no, this was, she was like facilitated.
She clearly gets animals and then I think that's how she makes her money
and then sells them to people.
She had an online thing.
That's how Sarah, her money and then sells them to people. She had an online thing, that's how Sarah found her.
So she, you know, gets animals and-
But just had, like, probably had, like,
nanomomitors and stuff in there.
Yeah, it was one of the weirdest,
and again, nothing bad happened,
but just every element of it was like, what the fuck is going
on? And at any moment could have been weird. It's the kind of thing where if they legitimately
got a flat tire or the radiator blew or whatever, you would really start thinking like, okay,
this is a fucking setup. What is going on?
This is not cool.
And I don't wanna seem like a paranoid asshole,
but come on, what the fuck?
And all worked out.
It did.
It did.
That's, how did you find this person?
It was totally through Sarah online.
Oh.
Some, I don't know what she Googled, uh, but it was.
To get a dog, you know, rescue a dog.
Yeah, I was going on, I would just go on pet finder late at night.
I think that was it.
Pet finder.
Oh, I'm pretty sure.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Pet finder.
Yeah.
I would just go on there.
I still do sometimes just go like, I think they changed it, but you used to be
able to put in like different breeds and be like,
so I was just like, what would a boxer pit bull look like?
That'd probably be a beautiful dog.
And that's how I found my dog, found her and her siblings.
Yeah, I'm not even sure if there were pictures, probably were, I guess, but I don't remember.
But I know it didn't take long
and Sarah was the one who did that stuff
and showed me or sent me the links
and was like, what do you think of this?
Like, great.
And how long did Ollie live?
Well, she lived to be 15, but the last,
I mean, I talked about this in a couple of specials ago,
but I, I talked about this in a couple specials ago, but I kept around longer than I should have.
And I kind of knew I was doing it. The last three months were just like,
what am I doing? But I just couldn't pull the trigger. Literally, I shot her nose.
No, I couldn't, I just couldn't.
And I looked back on it and I was like,
I should have done this six months ago, you know?
But I mean, she was in a diaper and her hips had,
you know, the whole thing had,
she was just falling apart. And I had to walk her up and down the house, which is a heavy thing.
Yeah.
But I think a nice way.
Yeah, no, it was great.
And she was out of pain.
And there's like three steps to it.
You get a sedative, and then you get a thing that slows the heart rate down and then you get the final whatever it is and then that was it. And what's really surreal is her eyes were open
the whole time. And then so the doctor, and she had been going to the same bed for a long time and
And she had been going to the same bed for a long time and the woman, the nurse assistant,
who was kind of monitoring stuff just started bawling. And that's when everybody broke down, everybody started crying and the doctor and then my wife and I didn't, I'm a strong man.
Sure, yeah.
I've been raised to not show emotion.
Same.
It's weakness.
And, but yeah, her eyes were open the whole time.
And then she was listening with a stethoscope and then she went, okay,
Ali's passed or out of pain or whatever her phrase was.
And that was that.
Wow. Wow.
Yeah. And then I had her cremated and I gave the ashes to a homeless person.
That's a beautiful ending. These are for you.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
She would have wanted this.
These are for you. Yeah.
Oh man.
That's hard.
She would have wanted this.
Yeah.
So there you go.
I'll take it.
Oh, there's Ollie.
There's a picture somewhere.
Where?
Isn't there a picture here?
There was.
My daughter and Ollie.
Somewhere around here.
There used to be.
I'm pretty sure there was.
Well. here. There used to be, I'm pretty sure there was. Well, I mean, I say baseball cards of me on it, but there was a photo, wasn't there? Mom was positive.
There was. Look at some last, look at some past episodes. Back here? No. Anyway, well, that's rude. That's pretty fucking rude.
Someone walked off with it. Someone walked off with a picture of my daughter hugging my dog. Anyway,
it's cold. Yeah. And then our daughter took it way harder than we imagined. I mean, really didn't, we were not expecting of it.
She, it really bummed her out.
And that's in part why, you know, we go,
we're like, we're gonna get you another dog and yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
But I got a lot of material out of it.
Well, there you go.
How it worked out.
No, I can't even think about it. Yeah, well, you've got time. Yeah-hmm. How it worked out? No, I can't even think about it.
Yeah, well, you've got time.
Yeah, yeah.
And if it's not a bred dog,
it'll have, potentially will live longer.
Yeah, I think she's got, we have some nice time ahead.
But it's weird having like, you know,
I've had family dogs and stuff and, you know,
wasn't attached in this way. But she's like, you know, this is your dog and you rescued it.
Yeah. There's a real, you know, it you feel it all the time. You're always aware that,
you know, you rescued this dog and there's an attachment there that maybe project onto it. Oh, it's no, it's massive.
I like I as I come, I used to like, you know,
maybe spend an extra day somewhere, you know, after doing shows or whatever.
And now I'm like, no, I got to get home.
Yeah, because like my girlfriend, I can talk to her like, OK, yeah, I'll talk to
you, but the dog thinks I'm dead every time I leave.
Just like I had a nice run with Dave.
There's a
A
Peanuts
No, no, it was something Charles Schultz
wrote about and with a little strip about how
every time you leave, the dog doesn't know you're coming back.
Yeah.
The dog does not know you're coming, even after years and years and years, the dog doesn't
know.
You know you're coming back.
Yeah.
I tell her.
The dog doesn't know.
I tell her I'm coming back.
Does she speak English?
Not well.
That's part of the issue.
Yeah.
You gotta sign him up.
How many languages do you speak?
I speak English is the main one
and then I probably have,
what I'm guessing,
I have like a dog's understanding level
and a few other languages,
but what I'm guessing like a dog's understanding level and a few other languages. But and what I'm guessing, like my dog, you know,
I can do that in like German and Spanish.
And the and she picks up on the signals.
No, I don't speak German to the dog.
I'm just saying I'm guessing like the amount of English that my dog knows
is the amount of German in the way that she can listen to conversations.
That's what I like to think I have in German and Spanish and a few other
But I could be wrong. There's no way to know really I
Can you know I can order snacks?
In German in German like what you order me some snacks. I'm beer
I'm casserole
Ein Bier, ein Kasserl. One beer, Kasserl.
I mean, it's limited.
Limited menu.
Yeah, I was going to say, I've never seen a Kasserl offered as a snack, but I mean,
well, different strokes, right?
Different culture.
Yeah, Kasserl Haus, H-A-U-S.
You know.
So that's snacks in Germany. If I go to a I go to a bar lousy with casseroles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Casual.
So and what happens if you order a meal?
They give you a little tray of nuts.
I mean it's mostly you know sausages and then not actually not enough.
I mean, I don't eat that sort of stuff anymore.
But when I first started going to Germany,
I was, you think that it's gonna be
like Oktoberfest everywhere, but it's not like.
Well, that's because you're an ignorant American.
Yeah, I'm an idiot.
Yeah.
Basically.
Yeah.
And when I.
I think it's like the minikey ads. Like all of Germany is like the, you know, those, uh, we, I think it's like the minor key ads, like all of Germany is
like the, you know, those, you know, they, they took the word minor key and.
Created a whole ad campaign based on a, uh, German Austrian.
I'm not sure.
Uh, guy who says,
mind the key about it, the key to his car.
Mind the key for mind the auto movie.
You've seen the ad campaign.
Guy with the bad sweater.
Sure.
Yeah.
And then, well that, yeah,
that's Germany in a nutshell, basically.
And now I switched because they own the,
the naming rights to Buffalo Bill Stadium.
So now whenever I see a Bill's game,
I get, I switched my muffler to Minike.
I like that you have these allegiances.
It's not even, it just works.
Yeah, it's easier.
I can't tell you, it's not even an allegiance.
Like, I remember seeing a game at a Sensodyne
ultra-whitening toothpaste for adults field.
Sure.
And that's all I use now until the next game I go to.
Well, you do have nice white teeth, I gotta say.
No, I do not, Dave.
I think, I don't know, they're pretty good.
They could be worse.
They could happen, but I have terrible, terrible teeth.
Really?
Yeah.
Do you go to see the dentist?
That's the problem.
You don't?
No, I go weekly.
Weekly, wow.
Yeah, and there's really no reason to,
and then, so it's all, that's, no, I have,
that's one of the, one of the things my father gave me
was shitty British teeth.
He gave me his shitty, shitty, shitty British teeth.
Really?
Yeah.
Genetics.
They don't look bad to me, in my medical opinion.
Oh yeah, that's rough.
No.
I tell you, they're not good.
All right, Dave Hill
Oh
Let's see sure
Whoa, yeah, is that the was that my rating? Yep
so I end each episode with a question from my daughter.
Oh, excellent.
And here is the question for you, Dave Hill, who is going to be doing a month-long residency
at the SoHo Playhouse, not the theater.
It's in London.
This is the show. I did a run there.
Are they affiliated?
No, I don't think so.
I did a run at the Soho Theater.
It was pretty great.
Yeah, it's a great theater.
And you know my favorite thing about all that stuff was,
you know the Nellie Dean at the end of Dean?
Like if you come out of the theater and take a right,
and you go down to the end of the street
there right before you get to the park,
which is on your right and there's that little Irish bar.
So the Nellie Dean is on, is pub on the corner on Deeb,
not far from Soho Theater.
And I would go there and there would be like just arbitrary random day time,
like some of the most talented, brightest minds in British comedy, right?
Or Irish comedy.
And just hanging out, having drinks drinks and nobody was bothering them. I'm like,
this is at the pub in that area because there's a lot of posts houses there, so a lot of editing
and sound ADR stuff. And a lot of the business folks are over there. So it was just crazy.
I'd go in and I'd be like,
these are legends that are sitting here.
No one's bothering them and just hanging out,
having a, it was great.
All right.
Well, that whole area is like,
every day you would think it was a major holiday,
like around four o'clock.
Oh, well, yeah, people just hang out and drink.
Yeah, that's great.
It's one of the things I love most about the UK.
Okay, Dave Hill, this is a question from my daughter.
Now this isn't a question she has specifically for me.
No, people ask that a lot and I understand why.
This was just, before I started doing the podcast,
I was like, oh, I'm gonna make an element that,
you know, one of the things will be my daughter
asks a question, so I had her think of some
and now she'll just say, hey dad,
I got a question for your podcast.
Okay, cool.
I'm not arrogant enough to think that your daughter
knows who I am, I wanna be clear. Huge fan. Huge fan. Huge fan, cool. I'm not arrogant enough to think that your daughter knows who I am. I want to be clear.
Huge fan.
Huge fan.
Yeah.
She subscribes to your YouTube channel.
So Dave, this is from Marlo.
Why does ice stick to your fingers when it's cold?
Oh, that's a good question.
Oh gosh.
Oh, that's a good question.
Oh, gosh. I think that if the ice is dry,
your hands are slightly damp and a science thing happens.
A science thing. It's a science thing.
I mean, it's it's all science.
They're all science things.
But I think that that's what happens.
That the ice takes the moisture on your hands and then brings it to freezing temperature,
which causes, I'm speculating to be honest.
I appreciate your honesty.
Because it seems like you would think that I would know.
That makes sense to me, I guess.
That's a really good question.
But I think that's gotta be it.
Okay.
It's just the little damness.
It just is like, I got this.
Okay.
But tell her not to run with that answer.
She doesn't, she's never heard this podcast.
Well.
I know, but you could, I could see
how you might be inclined to be like, I actually
got a really great answer.
It's plausible answer.
I think it's plausible.
I don't know.
That's that's probably it.
Right.
But as I say it, I'm feeling my fingers and I'm like, they seem more greasy grimy than
damp in any way.
I just had tacos.
What kind of tacos?
Bean and sweet potato.
I know they weren't.
It wasn't like the best.
Where where were you at this place to come to combi?
Oh, yeah, I know.
Um, I had lunch with Gary Goldman and he Gary is vegan.
And so I I was like, I'll give those a shot.
Vegan tacos are good. I just the sweet potato and the tacos not doesn't.
I don't like sweet potato. I don't like yams or.
I will. I'll tell you. Don't get me started on sweet potato fries. Those are just.
Colossal bullshit, I think. Yeah.
You know, you're not happy with them. No, not at all. My dog likes sweet potatoes. just colossal bullshit, I think. Yeah.
You're not happy with them. No, not at all.
My dog likes sweet potatoes.
Speaking of dogs.
Dogs do like sweet potatoes.
Yeah.
Pumpkin, sweet potato.
It's good for their pipes.
Yeah.
But yeah, I wouldn't rush back.
I mean, I would probably, yeah,
order something different next time.
Yeah, and just walk at a leisurely pace.
Yeah, yeah, just yeah, whenever I get there. Plenty of seating.
Yeah.
But yeah, that's what I had.
All right, Dave. Thank you for coming in.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah, absolutely.
I hope I did all right.
Well, we'll run it by the labs and we'll see what they say.
Yeah, see what the charts come out with.
Yeah, see what the charts come out with. Yeah.
Okay.
Sense is Working Overtime is a Headgum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross.
The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer
Emma Foley.
Thanks to Demi Druchin for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song.
For more podcasts by Headgum, visit Headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode.
I'm not going to do that.
Thanks for listening.
That was a Headgum Podcast.