Senses Working Overtime with David Cross - Eugene Mirman

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

Catch all new episodes every Thursday. Watch video episodes here.Guest: Eugene MirmanSubscribe and Rate Senses Working Overtime on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!Follow David on Instagram and Twitter.Follow the show:Instagram: @sensesworkingovertimepodTikTok: @swopodEditor: Kati SkeltonEngineer: Nicole LyonsExecutive Producer: Emma FoleyAdvertise on Senses Working Overtime via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Head Gum Podcast. I always where would you like ask you to ask my guest to choose you can sit in the couch or the swivel chair they're both so great you know what I'm gonna do this all right sweet yeah now here's something. Yeah. You're the first person to take the couch. Oh really? Yeah. Wow. Out of like three other people?

Five other people? 108. Ha! No. I really was thinking of that. And then, oh look at this. I like how... Well, I mean, you're welcome to sit here.

That's fine. I like it. I like it. Yeah. I like that I can see my... Yeah....over reminder. I like it. Yeah, I like that. I can see my Yeah, reminder I'm gonna move this fine. I could see you. Can you see me? Yeah, I great. I decided that this was easier You know what? I don't like is the pillow and I've never really understood. I know it's

Decorative, but it's not functional. I think no, unless you want to put it on here. I have a lot of space. Yeah I not functional I think. No, if you want to put it on here, I have a lot of space. Yeah. I find the pillows to be unnecessary and cumbersome. And my, oh, you haven't been to our house, have you? I have, but not in a while. So I don't know if you'd, I mean, assuming it's the same place. Yeah.

Yeah, you have a brownstone, right? Yeah. I mean, we had the same place. Yeah. Yeah, you have a brownstone, right? Yeah. It's not I Mean we had the whole thing Actually removed you know how you can move a house? Yeah, we had the whole thing up with the one next door Yes, exactly. Well the one next door I don't know where it went to Austin, Texas or something like that and we ours just Slid over although it didn't slide. It was a cumbersome thing, cost millions of dollars and not really, the view isn't crazy different, you know? It doesn't.

You can see Mount Washington. Yes. From that. It's the weirdest thing. We're literally 10 feet away and I can see Mount Washington. I can see the arch in St. Louis. It's great. The old man on the mountain. He's not there

anymore. Oh, yeah, I think his nose fell off or something. So it's just rocks. Um, what do you got coming up? In general, yeah, I like nothing, meaning like I'm do I like a handful of shows like I just did some shows. Oh, wait, that's not true. My label Glaser has an album coming out and I'm coming here to do. His show, it's like a dog theme show. His album is is a meditation for dogs. It's a half it's like a half hour meditation for animals.

It's very funny. Is it just him or dogs? It's just him, but then it's like it turns into a bit of an adventure. Oh, that's what it's him Talking calmly remaining and wait a minute. You're when you say your label I started me and Julie and Audit tea. I don't know if you know her Started a small comedy label to put out records. Oh, that's we put out Derek's record. You may be yes Of course, of course, we put out Derek's record Maeve Higgins record

We're about to put out lasers and Bob cold Bob cats we put up that's awesome What's it called pretty good friends record great and then sub pop does distribution. I was gonna ask if Sub pop was yes. Yeah, that's really smart. So it's fun. So yeah, so I in fact have that Coming up glazor show. That's great. Is that was that your idea? Just the label? Yeah, I feel like me and Julie for a long time, you know, especially since we're not here, but like loved doing like the festival and loved doing stuff and putting like working with friends. Yeah. Yeah. So it basically was like, how can we without, you know, putting on these shows still do that? And this was kind of a fun

way to do it. And we'd always sort of wanted to. That's great. Yeah. And the, it's Glazer doing a live show to promote. Sort of like a promote, like an album release. Well, I'm gonna have a. But I think like a dog themed album release. I don't actually, I'm not producing this show. So I don't like, don't know the details.

You stop caring. Once the record was finished. Once it's done. Yeah, you check out. Yeah, I listen to it and I go, like, give a thumbs up. And then you're on your yacht. Yeah, yeah. And then I leave a message for David Letterman.

What is the message? Just Jogglaser has it out. Hi, we've never met. Jogglaser has it out. It's a meditation for dogs. Good night. Okay. So you assume he's gonna get the message in the evening?

I do. Okay. Or, or that he's going to go to sleep right after he gets the message either way. Maybe you can, I mean, there's something, if you could kind of merge the idea of meditation and good night is almost like a hypnotic response. Yeah. Wouldn't that be a great power if you just by you saying good night to somebody, they would just fall asleep? Yeah.

How come that's- I think that is a thing. A superpower, is it? That's I think like hip, hip, hip. Isn't that what- No, but you would have to pre-hypnotize people. I'm saying if you're super power, Marvel- You don't have to

Marvel universe, yeah, right and a guy just goes good night. Oh, and then sleepy like his name is mr. Sleepy. Yeah tired eyes tired eyes and Thanos defeated by tired eyes little old Thanos And you're sleepy you could cast. Oh, I don't know Bob Balaban. Maybe maybe, I think would be good. Tom Wilkinson. Yeah. Alfred Molina, you know, he's already Doc Ock. All right, no, we can't have Alfred. But so somebody in the Marvel unit, yeah, a's the Hulk. You can only think Chris Evans, ah, Chris Evans. Chris Evans, no, Brie Larkinow. What about Anthony Michael Hall, what's he doing? I don't know, I don't know, but.

Maybe get him for Mr. Diane Feinstein? Diane Feinstein, yeah, no, hang on a second. Emma, look up, Fine-steen dead. Okay, so, oh, I wanna pursue this a little bit more. So that's your power, and you could, if you had a public address system, you had a mic, right?

And you could just go, good night. And then like a couple blocks. Go to sleep. I'm so not convinced that that isn't a thing already. Like I'm like, it feels like in some... But you would have to pre-hypnotize somebody. I'm talking about going up to a- Oh no, I don't mean in the real world.

I mean, like there's already, I bet, like I bet it's not called Mr. Sleepy, but I bet he is called like the sleepmaker. Oh really? I don't know, I've never heard of him. I think you think that it might exist, I'm guessing this, because it's such an obvious idea, like why haven't they done it yet?

Yes, that's true. That could be, yeah. We'd have to call Patton and ask. Yes, Patton would know. You feel like that is in 1963. Right. It's better than it did in fact by Dr. Stevie. It's an old EC comics.

Anyway. We're not, has this begun? Has this not begun? How does this work? Would you like to start? Oh, I don't know, I'm just asking. Yeah, yeah. Do you want to get started? We can.

Because we started as soon as we entered the room. Sure. Okay. So we're in, we're... In the middle. We're in the middle. Not even the middle. Because we have a little bit more to do, but we're, we're way into the first quarter. Nice. Yeah. And the score is 10 to 7. Ha! Ha! Ha!

I can tell you who's got 10, who's got 7. All right, is there anything you would like to... We talked about Glaser's album. Anything you want to promote that might be coming up? I mean, I think that's sort of the label in that Derek's album, you know. Derek Brown. Derek Brown. Very funny, interesting, smart, poet comic.

Is it fair to call him a comic? It's unfair, but we should. No, I think it's unfair to other comics. Another poet. Another poet. Yeah, he's a poet comic. He's a poet comic. He's a funny poet.

He's a funny, uh, he is funny. Yeah, yeah, he is a funny storyteller poet. I don't know how you would, you know, he is a mix of stand up and poetry. Eugene, will you tell the folks listening or watching how we met, we first met? I think we first met through actually Brendan Small. Is that right?

Yeah. I ask everybody, because I don't remember. That's why I ask you to tell me. So we first met because I used to live in Boston and Brendan I think was already in LA. No, he was in, he must have been in Boston still and you were coming to play the comedy connection. Oh gosh, that's going way back.

Yeah, yeah. That's yeah. So it must be 299, 2000, 2000, it must be 2000 because I think I lived here So he was gonna open for you the the newer connection, right? No the what the fainting hall one That's right. The new connection essentially thought the last time I worked there was when I opened for Gallagher 2 and Stole all his batteries. I am pretty sure the last time you worked there is the time That that Brendan opened for you. I think it must be 2000 so it must have been I don't know is it November 2000 Like or 2001 but like February or something

Because you had not Yet moved to New York or you were about to where you had like yeah, I didn't move here till 2001 spring of 2001 Okay, so so then somewhere around that time, I think you played Boston, Brendan was like, I'm opening for David Cross if you want to come. So I came back to Boston and saw you, I think you had two shows probably and, yeah, and then that was how we sort of first met.

And I think, then sort of in New York, you know. and hang out and then that was how we first met. And I think then sort of in New York, you know. I thought it was, I thought I was assuming it was in New York. I mean, in a sense, that's like where, like I think like meeting and hanging out and doing shows together. Yes, exactly. I'm surprised that they had me back at,

well, I guess at that point, I was kind of a name. Yeah, they had you. What did you do because you stole Gallagher's? Do you say batteries? Yeah, Gallagher too. What does that mean? Sorry, bro. Yeah. He had, it was, so Gallagher too, for those of you who don't know, was, I'll give you a brief history. So Gallagher, the famous comedian Gallagher, has a brother who looks like almost exactly like him, who was a roofer in Florida.

And Gallagher, very, very savvy businessman said, hey, I can't do these old bits anymore. I have all these jokes. Why don't you go out there as Gallagher too? And you can do all my set and you take 70% of the money and I'll take 30% or whatever the thing was, breakdown was. And so he did it for years and he would go to clubs and it would, and he looks like Gallagher and he did not, I think they had a big falling out because he

didn't try to, he wasn't that clear that it was Gallagher too. It'd be like a Roman Nuberal too, but it was so close to get like he was, he tried to pretend he was it was Gallagher too. It would be like a Roman Nuberal too, but it was so close to get like he was. He tried to pretend he was the real Gallagher. He was trying to trick people. Yeah. So people are going, holy shit, it's only $45 to go see Gallagher at the Boston Comedy Club, a relatively small club. And then he just, he sounds like him. He looks like him, he dressed like him. And I think they had a pulling up because he was kind of trying to subvert that. But anyway, he did a week and for some reason, I mean, literally every other comedian was not available.

So they had me open up. And as you might imagine, does is does not go well with Gallagher 2's audience. No. And he was really not pleasant. I wouldn't say he was mean, but he was just sort of grouchy and grumpy and and the act is just ridiculous. Is it done as well as poorly? I don't know. He just sort of trots it out there and he's like, you know, he has this things and so he has all these things that are operated.

So we'll have like a, I remember he had a, uh, uh, seagull on a long, like a, a good like six foot pole, right? Yep. And they had a trigger at the base of it. And, and, um, and he was like, I can't remember what this dumb joke was like. Hey man, these, these, these birds will eat your french fries. They want more, you know, and they just shit on you,

whatever. And he had the bird and, and everybody is, um, oh, here's the other thing. You have to picture this. They lined the club with plastic sheeting and part of the advertisement was bring your raincoat. Yeah. So because he's going to smash the watermelons. And so they also had plastic sheeting, like big reams of like industrial construction site, plastic sheeting for like the first three rows on the middle and the sides, and even the walls.

But I think the walls was just more there for like, oh boy, someone's gonna get sticky. And then, so he had these different things. I think he had a Bart doll at some point, Someone's gonna get sticky. So he had these different things. I think he had a Bart doll at some point, Bart Simpson. And he had the, so the Seagull had a can of shaving cream and somehow when he pulled the trigger, this is a fairly long pull because it had to reach out to people.

And he would just sort of move it like this and it would shit on you know quote, oh yeah and then and people were delighted. Yeah this is the most clever funniest. Yeah yeah yeah. It's just comedy is finally enlightening become what it could be. Yes. Yes. Thank you Gallagher too.

Thank you Gallagher's twin. And then he, and I remember the seagull, and I remember the Bart Simpson doll, but there were multiple things that he would have like cover over the audience and shit on them or vomit on them or whatever the thing was. And it would be shaving cream or oatmeal or who knows. Yeah.

And so I jerked off into the sequel. No, I didn't do that. I should know I'm thinking about it. That's what I should have done. But he had this like a musicians, what'd you call it? Like not luggage, but like a whole- Oh, like a case. A case with that opened up into like three sides big.

Like literally- Like how some people would carry rifles, but he carried props. Yeah, he, well- Or guitars. Comedy guns. Comedy guns, yes. Laff AK-47s.

And it like tried, stuff in it, various things and duplicates of the seagull and all these things. And he had a whole big plastic bin of 30 batteries, like big C or Ds that would, I guess, go in all these polls or whatever. And every show got progressively worse for me, which has happened before, and they would kind of cut my time down to basically nothing. And he was getting, he was irritated at me. He didn't like me. He didn't like, and I understand that. They got a bad, they got the wrong guy to open, you know?

And, but it was just- You've gotten Gallagher one. Yes. And then, or Gallagher three. Let's go find a Gallagher three. But he's just like small stuff, so it doesn't take away from the punch. Well, he just makes food.

He makes fruit salad. And it's not that exciting. So he'll slice the watermelon, dice it up, make a lovely little melange with some berries in it, make a smoothie. Gallagher four makes a smoothie. Yes, and five makes overnight oats. And it is something to see.

Oh, the Gallagher family. Yeah, they went in reverse order. The first guy, why are you destroying all the food? Yeah, but it's funny. I'll tell you what, I'll be Gallagher two and I won't destroy the food. I'll do the food. Yeah, but it's funny. I'll tell you what, I'll be Gallagher 2 and I won't destroy the food as well. I'll do smaller food. I'll Gallagher 3. I'm actually gonna cook with this. And then Gallagher 6 just makes compost. And so he was, as I said, he was like kind of grouchy grumpy from the outset and just sort of short

and clearly doesn't want to be there, doesn't enjoy it at all, doesn't enjoy doing stand-up, doesn't enjoy, it's all this kind of perfunctory, I gotta go do. He was just sour, you know? And as the week progressed, his distaste for me became clear. And as I said, I understand it. I should not have opened up. But I hated everything he represented and I hated watching that audience. And where was this?

Is it Boston? The comedy connection. That's why I thought it was the... Yeah, the comedy connection. I thought that was the last time I was there. I was surprised that I was asked back, but And I stole all of his I got a bag and just took all of his batteries because we had you know between shows. Yeah, I took everything and The what was it what happened is he on stage going I need D batteries. I don't know I left I mean I left and didn't come back

Oh, yeah, yeah, I think I know what happened They might not have known you stole all the batteries, but also they invited you back as a headliner So it's probably years later years later. Yeah, this would have been this was when I was still living there Yeah, something 89 99 right so yeah, and what I'm describing is not it's a decade later. Yeah, so yeah by that point they I'm sure didn't recall. It's all a new new group of people. Surprises wasn't a protest You know, yeah, well the people that had been wronged from that show on that show Eugene Merman, what is the saddest thing you've ever heard? Take time Eugene Merman, what is the saddest thing you've ever heard?

Take your time. Oh, God. I don't know. Think about it, we can come back to it. I mean, it's funny, it's like you think of things and then, like, I don't know, do I know a sadder thing? Like, one thing that comes to mind, and I don't know if it's the saddest exactly. But being told a story about about my dad, you know, he had sort of fled during like the Holocaust and A cousin of his recently telling us that like they survived off of boiled poison ivy

Wow, so like that they ate like potato peels and then boiled poison ivy And it was in Russian and then my brother translated it was like because I don't know the words for poison ivy And he's like, yeah, it's boiled poison ivy. Oh my gosh. Yeah, so it's like so I don't know like have I heard a sadder thing like Maybe but that's like yeah. Yeah, I Did I'm I'm remiss and not remembering the exact Name of the Holocaust memory. Emma?

Yeah. Google, uh, celebrities who read letters from Holocaust victims and, uh, and find my rating. Um, I did. Uh, it was very serious, this thing. And I read a couple stories in their voices and it was, you have to keep reminding yourself, oh, this is real, this isn't made up. This is like, have you ever read The Painted Bird, Zenski?

No. It's like, have you ever read The Painted Bird, Zenski? No. It's rough, man. It's about a boy who witnesses a lot of trauma in World War II and becomes mute. And it's just devastating. But yeah, these stories, like you can't believe it. It, uh...

Yeah. Yes, it's like, and it's funny because it's like, obviously there's like, I don't know, there's something about like the specificity of a certain thing that isn't like necessarily like the worst thing you could hear about just sort of like this. It's like so sad.

In the seizure of Leningrad, they, people were surviving on books. They were eating books, eating paper and boiling and eating the glue or drinking the binding glue. Yeah. My grandfather was, I think, in charge of the structural, he was in the army, in charge of the structure of the protection of Leningrad, like the blockade. Yeah. of the structure of the protection of Leningrad, like the blockade. Yeah. God. Yeah.

Crazy, crazy. Yeah. And we bitch about the most trivial shit. It's amazing. I mean, look, I don't like getting a shitty salad. Okay. This is... Wait.

You gotta take... Everyone's life is what it is. It's relative, yeah. It's relative. One man's surviving by drinking and eating boiled poison. Ivy is another man's cob salad with... Yeah, this is poach. Not free range turkey.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. What do you mean this isn't free range? Yeah. So yeah, that's a pretty sad, sad. That's extremely sad. What about you? Has anyone asked you? No. What's extremely sad. What about you?

Has anyone asked you? No. What's one of the saddest things? Well, that's not how this works here. Oh, okay, sorry. Sorry to... I think the saddest thing, and I will say there are sadder things.

Yes. Like you're that sadder than what? The thing that caused me the most sadness was I was nine years old and we were in Syracuse, New York. And we were at one of the lowest points the family economically. So Syracuse during the winter and there's this massive snowstorm and I was selling greeting cards.

Like I had, you know, on the back of comic books you could sell, remember sell grit. It was like a newspaper. Yeah, I don't know that might have been before your time, but you could order these things and then if you sold enough, whatever it was, this happened to be greeting cards, you would get like a watch if you were these t-shirts, whatever you could- So you were selling them for money that you would mail away? No, you would get like the watch. It would, like the back of like, you know, comic book.

But when you sold it, what happened? Did someone give you money? Yeah, you would get like a check or, and then you would give it to the company. I can't remember exactly how it worked. There was a little bit of paperwork that my mom helped me with, but you'd fill some stuff out or whatever it was.

And I was in the neighborhood that I was living in and I was going door to door and it's snowing. We were in the snow, but it was night and it's freezing. And a couple of people took pity on me, you know, and I sensed that, but that was fine. I was able to, on me, you know, and I sensed that, but that was fine. I was able to. And I, you know, probably sold like two things agree. I was probably out there for like an hour, just going door to door.

And came back home and my mom said, so in the living room was my dad, my mom, and one of my sisters, my other sister was somewhere else. And my mom said, we lost a member of the family today. And my sister wasn't there. And I was like, what? What happened? And then I knew my dog had been sick. And I'd grown up with my dog. His name was Charlie Brown. And I think he was three months old when I was born or I was three months when we got something like that. But he was there the whole time. And they had to put him down. And I think, so I realized it wasn't my sister, my little sister, but then I realized it was

my dog who I had a much closer relationship with. And I think it was the whole, starting to understand, like our situation was never good, but when you're a kid and you're able to amuse yourself and laugh and find, you could play with a rusty can, whatever, but as you get older and you're constantly moved, I was never in one place for more than a year, new school, new can, whatever. But as you get older and you're constantly moved, I was never in one place for more than a year, new school, new town, whatever. And I think just the, I was starting to understand like this is my lot in life and in, you know, I just went

door to door in a snowstorm and, you know know for an hour and I'm freezing and we have no money and We were like we were like government cheese and getting you know We literally got a check from the Salvation Army one Christmas for to get toys like we were that bad off and and powdered milk that kind of thing and and and then just to lose lose my dog to come into that. And it was just, that was too much. You know?

And it was, and I just, I was crying about that, but I was crying about a lot of things, you know? But I think that we lost a member of the family today. Not the way to phrase it. First of all, yeah. Well, I don't think she realized Julie was out of the room, but. It was say how many legs it has. I would say that was funny. That reminds me of I had a dog.

We got, we had a dog. And my parents were away. They went on a trip somewhere and... Were they spying? They were, but for Canada? No, they were on a trip and then, somebody rang the bell and my dog, Katie, I had two dogs named Katie.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Oh boy. And was hit by a car and so my neighbors drove me in the back seat with a dog that had been hit by a car. Oh my God. To the vet.

It took about 45 minutes. Oh my God. How old were you? I think I was in sixth grade. I was either in third grade or sixth grade. Oh, God. Oh, that's awful. Yeah. And so we're driving and we get there and then we bring them to the vet. And you know, it's kind of a long drive because it's, you know, I wasn't like it was not like a 24-hour like nearby vet. And then also they were taking their time. It's lovely up there. Oh yeah, they took a senior crew to it. It was like the suburbs. Beautiful stuff.

It's beautiful. Lincoln, oh, what's this? Yeah, yeah. Did you stop and get like? Smoothie? Yeah. Yes. A frappe. From the first, yeah, frappe place in all of New England.

We stopped. We went to Calder. I brought a drum machine. And uh... Gaby, listen to this. We stopped we went to Calder. I brought a drum machine and Listen to this Wake up wake up. You'll be okay. And then we Then you know we'd left the dog and then I got home and I called them and they were like we couldn't save the dog But then the at least the nice thing is the next day when I went to school there It's awful. But then at least the nice thing is the next day when I went to school, there,

girl who was like, your dog committed suicide because it didn't love you. Wow, that's kind of brilliant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's awful. That's awful in a very specific, certain evil way. Yes. And what's she doing now? I don't know if she went to Harvard though.

Probably a prosecutor. Yeah, maybe she probably works at a kill shelter. Yeah. Do nonprofit stuff. Well, that really, I'm not gonna ask that question again. Why not? Uh, it's- Doesn't promote anything? Um, oh yeah, that, I guess I should do the ad here. Where, where, this one?

This me? All right. Um, hey folks, this is David Cross at Sense's Working Over Time. Say, have you been struggling with your sleep lately? Have you suffered trauma? Has your dog died and you didn't get the drum machine you wanted? Well, that's why there's Laffy Taffy. Laffy Taffy.

Right. Yeah. That's not real. That's not a real thing. Laffy Taffy is real. I'm sure. I understand that you are not sponsored by something that's meant to take you's not a real thing. Lappy, I mean, Lappy Tappy is real. I'm sure, I understand that you are not sponsored by something that's meant to take you out of a real funk. Lappy Tappy. Lappy Tappy.

Yeah. Yeah. Have you lost a member of your family? Well, Lappy Tappy is the quickest smile producer. Yeah. Except for banana, for some reason. Banana, it's delicious but banana doesn't promote the smiles at the other flavors of Laffy Taffy does. So for this

particular thing, Laffy Taffy but not banana. Sold. All right. Hello, Fresh. Whether you're trying, whether you're trying to save money, eat better, or stress less, HelloFresh is here to help you do all three. Say Hello to your most delicious year yet with fresh ingredients and shipped, crafted recipes at a price you'll like delivered right to your door. No more staring blankly in the fridge wondering what to make for dinner. Give HelloFresh a try and dig into their biggest menu yet with over 45 recipes to choose from each week.

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Senses free and use code senses free for free breakfast for life One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life at Hellofresh.com Senses free with code senses free America's number one meal kit. Eugene Merman. What is the fanciest thing you've ever tasted?

Oh, the fanciest thing I've ever tasted. The golden retriever. No. So delicate hair. No, the fanciest thing. Again, it's like, you know, my guess is it is a tiny, like, black caviar sandwich, maybe, that it was delicious. I would think like a Pullman's bread, what kind of sandwich?

Sandwich meaning like, I don't know, like they made the little tiny delicious bread. I don't know. Oh, like a Bline? No, like no bread, like a, like imagine a hamburger shrunk. And then the bread is amazing because it's made by someone who's great at bread. And then inside is probably like a little butter and

that sounds pretty fancy. Yeah. That's pretty fancy and then I will say there's like a there's a there's a restaurant in um uh Lynn that's like uh Massachusetts. Lynn Massachusetts yes that has a tasting menu that's amazing. It's called Night Shade Noodle Bar and they have had things that are like, maybe like a lobster and a custardy thing or something that's like very delicious.

I can tell you're, by your answers that you're not very sophisticated and you're probably like just working class. I mostly eat it out of a shoe. Like I'll take anything nice and I'll put it in a shoe so that if someone calls me bourgeois, like would an actual bourgeois person eat out of their own shoe?

No. Nice. Nice. Now you and I both have kids, one kid, roughly the same age. I think your son is a little older, yeah? Yeah, I believe so. But like half a year or something. Yeah.

Oh, then happy birthday to him. And as of when this airs, I try to air release each show on a child's birthday. Great. Yeah. And I try to mention holidays and interviews so that it's clear that it's being released at the wrong time. Right. So... Happy Valentine's Day, David. Oh, thank you. It came so quick after Veterans Day, you know? I mean, it's, I don't remember it being that close after,

it's like Veterans Day and then the next day is Valentine's Day. But I mean, everybody celebrates different. You're on a Jewish calendar. That's right. Yes, that's why it was three minutes late. Right, right, right. And how do Jews feel about Valentine's Day?

I think in America they love it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I think, you know, they love romance. I mean, the original romantics is I think what they're called. I'm not sure about that but there's a gruff or gruff romantic. Yeah. I took them from the ground. I love the gruff romantic movement and music back in the I guess kind of late 70s early 80s. Yeah. It's

kind of a British thing but not all of, just the Isle of Wight. Where that- The festival? Yeah, started and remained, never crossed the channel. But- Kids? Yeah, kids. We have the kids of the same age.

Yeah. And we had a kind of really rough weekend. It all turned out okay, but she was, my daughter was hosting her first sleepover with, she's got three best friends and this is her best best friend. And her best friend did not, you know, was all for it, was excited about it. But when it came time to go to sleep, she really, you know, was upset

and a lot of big feelings about missing mommy and daddy and her brother and she didn't like it and she couldn't go to sleep and she wanted to go home. And my daughter took that personally and it was difficult to say the least and lots of hysterical crying and what started with like, oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot to turn my, that was my phone. I forgot to turn that on silent. I apologize.

And what started with kind of sort of emotional blackmail, like if you leave, if you don't sleep over tonight, I'm never gonna be your friend again. And then, you know, her parents can pick her up. This is pretty late too at this point. And then she just started crying hysterically and like the kind of sobbing, the heaving kind of like, you know, really, really upset.

And then that turned into, I failed. I failed. It was all on her and they came over the next morning, yesterday morning, we had bagels and locks and stuff and we had a nice breakfast and everything was fine. But I'm wondering if you've experienced that. And we're trying to tell her anecdotal things about. So what I've experienced, so I've never... So the way it's happened for us is people

visit and then the parents are at the house and then the kids decide they would like to try to have a sleepover. And then inevitably what happens is both kids go to sleep and within a few minutes, whoever is visiting was like, I wanna stay with the parents. And like it ends in like five, 10 minutes. Like every time they're like, we wanna have a sleepover. So it's, so we haven't had a thing where like a kid, like someone has, like a kid has stayed over without the parents also visiting.

Right. But with the idea that the parents are going to leave after you go to sleep? No, they're like it's like people coming in from out of town. So like most of that is like people staying for that doesn't count. Right. And then but like but what I'm saying is I think that little kids like that don't I think they like the idea of a sleepover. And then I think they instantly don't want to do it. Yeah. So, apparently this happened with this girl. Her name is Coco. She, a friend of hers had a sleepover at her place and she left. Yeah. I think kids that age don't want to be away from their parents unless there

is like a reason. And then the like that isn't for fun. You know what I mean? Like I love that concept and the idea of the concept. They will talk about it. I mean, I mean, I will look at two children and go, you will both want to not do this. It would like give it a try, but if you, either of you don't want to feel free to stop. Like, and then warning essentially each child that the other may change their mind. The times that I've had it happen, both children, well, not really.

I guess like Ollie is happy to stay in his own room. Like he's not like, get out. But yeah, and I can't remember if it's happened at other people's houses where he also, but I think mostly it's that like kids end up wanting to be at their parents at that age and I haven't seen a kid yet. Right.

You know, unless they're older, like maybe older kids. I guess, I don't know when the first day, because Amber asked me when, you know, we were trying to come up with the anecdote. She had one about her best friend leaving who lived right across the street and she was crying and angry and all that stuff. They were trying to look up some cartoon type things that dealt with that kind of stuff.

Where's Ollie right now? Is he with a babysitter or is he just out on the street waiting? He's at school probably, he's at school. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he didn't come down. Oh no, he didn't come down, he's not here. He's back in Massachusetts. Yeah, yeah.

In and then back up. And then, yeah. And it's the same sound for traveling down and traveling up, right? That is, and it's just to be clear, the sound is how I travel. I don't fight in. People are like, do you take the train? Did you fly? No, I took the sound you just made.

You took up. Yep. And that's it. And then get back, you're going to take up. Exactly. That is. That's exactly right. That is exactly right. Yeah. Yeah. Do you- I was going to mention the show, the stand-up show, well, sort of stand-up, but stand-up within the-

Yeah. The- Barefoot. We did a benefit- Barefoot? Yeah. We did a benefit and that was the- we were supposed to do it-, well that was our joke, do it barefoot. We had all the, everybody was on the bill,

completely a collect them. Try to remember who the benefit was for. I think it was for you too. For you. We were gonna raise money for you too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, cause they were just starting that huge tour. What was the monster mass, massive tour?

Yeah. And we were gonna try to raise money for it. Yeah. And we did. We did. You know. They were just starting that huge tour. What was the monster mass, massive tour? We were gonna try to raise money for it. Yeah. And we did. We did. You know, I think we raised over like, I mean, $4,800. Yeah, yeah.

We were able to send to the- Right to Adam Clayton. Right to Adam Clayton. And- Yeah. And I remember them eating the check on live television yeah that yeah I thought that was weird but but it wasn't the real check you know that right oh I thought it was the real check no they just made me to like

a cop was wondering why it was so big yeah wondering why it was so big. It was, no, but seriously, it was we had the Bar Mitzvah DJ, and trying to think of who else was on that bill. And you went up as like a fake character. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. I was, yeah, I was stand up werewolf. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then who else was on there?

And I went up as Dr. Smarty, yeah, yeah. And then who else was on there? And I went up as Dr. Smarty Pants. Yep. And then, uh, uh, and I remember Tony Danza was the back of a dragon. Yep. Yep. Yep. But I can't remember who the front was. Was there a front? No, that's right. He was dragon butt. That was the whole thing. He was the back of the dragon. And it was like a singing, a song and dance kind of thing. And he came down. But what was, and he wouldn't say, a song and dance kind of thing. And he came down, but what was, and he wouldn't say, we begged him, we begged him, and like, this is for charity. He would not say the thing, who's the boss?

We were trying to get him to say who's the boss, I'm the boss. And then we had- He would keep saying, I'm in charge, and we're like, that's not the- Yeah, that's Charles, and he was just fucking with us. Cause what we wanted was, who's the boss, I'm the boss. And then I had hired the Bruce Springsteen look like to go,

no, I'm the boss, and then play weird Al's version of Born in the USA, which he hadn't written yet. No, no. But it exists. Yes, yes. Yeah, that show was fucking nuts. That was very, very nuts, yeah. But hey, we raised money, we was a worthy,

funny, worthy cause. What was the cause? It was for you too. Oh yeah, we raised money. We was a worthy, funny, worthy cause. What was the cause? It was for you too. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You're the one who you literally just said that. No, I know, I know, I know. Just double checking. Yeah.

Okay. Eugene. What's the funniest thing you've ever heard? What's the funniest thing you've ever heard? Oh, what's the funniest thing? Let me ask you this. Did you prepare for this at all? You know, yes and no in the sense that you had a list of questions like what's the best smell or what's the this or that but I don't actually know what you're gonna ask so I have like Right. Like there was an example of like what's the I don't know maybe scariest dream. What's the oh, what's the scariest dream? Like that was the thing you had.

Um, oh, I don't know. I think it was like I like I mean I remember after watching Get Out, like having dreams of people like running right at me. Yeah. It was spooky. I don't watch a lot of horror movies. Not that it's necessarily horror, but you know, and then things that are just like, yeah, I don't know, scariest, but also like happiest,

or I don't know. Like, so I think I prepared in the sense that like, there was examples of like what's the happiest dream or what's the serious. Well, we can all take a guess what the happiest dream is. Um, I mean, not the specifics, but you know, it's you end up ejaculating and then you're like, wait, wait, I'm the president. Oh, mine are different.

It is, it is ejaculating into public and then you're like, okay. All right. Well, what's the funniest thing you've ever heard? What's the funniest thing I've ever heard? You know, it's funny. I can't. I feel like it's something like it's like John Benjamin doing something. I can't. But I.

I don't know if I can. It's the funniest thing. I don't I like feel like I have an answer that I can't. Right, we'll take a break and I'll be back to it. Was there ever a you might not know this, but was there ever a... I remembered. Oh, what is it? Slightly. It is, I believe, John Benjamin, spending hours pretending to be Chris Knoth's agent at like a party. And then maybe even running into him years later. Oh my god, yes.

So like, I feel like that might be like that story. Yeah. I've been spending hours telling him he's going to take him to the next level. Yeah. And like a party that they're like they're like their agent like they was that where they're agent. Yes. Their agency through. Anyway, do you know that? Do you know the not necessarily a story, but do you know his whole thing about how this is 25 years ago, probably, he had convinced Lee Kernes, the manager, who was, I believe, Sam Cedars manager for years, decades, he had him convinced that he was dating Amy Irving. Wait, who's Amy Irving. Wait, who's Amy Irving?

The actress from many things but crossing the lancy and it was based on like a kind of a little mistake and John just ran with it and then had this had him going for decades that he was dating Amy Irving. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like There was another thing that he pretended anyway. Yeah, so I think it's the things he That he pretends for a long time

One time I was at a doctor's office in Beverly Hills and there was in the waiting room There were probably three people, I think, myself. And then this woman who was next to me on a couch and then another woman reading magazine. And this woman who was younger, I'm gonna guess like, you know, late 20s, early 30s, is on the phone with her friend. And it's this quiet in the waiting room, except for her going, oh my God, well, that's not even what I'm, oh, fuck that.

No, I'm not gonna do that. And oh my God, I went and just that kind of thing with a lot of the upspeak and glottal fry and stuff. And she was really annoying and really inconsiderate, I thought. And I somehow I got, I saw her phone number on her phone, somehow or she gave her phone number to somebody. I texted John Benjamin, who was in New York, I was in LA at the time, and I texted him, I was like, hey, would you

call this woman? She's, I'm at a doctor's office and she's sitting next to me and she's on the phone and she's speaking very loudly and she's annoying and just please tell her to stop and text her to him. And then, well, I'm sitting there, you know, a minute later. Hang on a second, I'm getting another call. Hello Excuse me I'm sorry. Who is this and it was just that for a while and and I'm like, you know

I can't laugh or anything and and also it's just like she said how the fuck do you know and And at some point he revealed that he was in New York. And I can't remember the end of it. I'll ask him when he does the show. But it was really, really kind of perfect. God, that guy is fucking funny. It's a, I mean, I've got some numerous stories of, I mean, I've got some numerous stories of that. I'm a guy that I have thought about this often.

Like, it's, it's, I've been very lucky that I haven't gotten the shit beat out of me. Uh, you know, there are a hundred examples, if not hundreds. But John Benjamin, you can triple that amount. Like how has this guy not gotten the shit kicked out of him? I think because he's so believable that you think you would be attacking your own agent. Well. Or whatever the situation is.

You know, one time, this is not, this doesn't have anything to do with, you know, obnoxious behavior, but we were at a bar, it was, I can't remember who it was, it was me, him, and somebody else. And we just, we walked in the bar, it was like the magician or something, you know. And he's, he asks us, you know, what we want. We, you know, say something, he goes, yeah, and the bartender came over, he's like, yeah, can I get two Guinness and a Pilsner for the little guy, and he called himself

the little guy. And it was the funniest one. And a Pilsner for the little guy. It was just... God bless him. Um, was there ever a consideration to call it Bob's hamburgers? It was out of my hands, but I pushed hard. For Bob's hamburgers or Bob's burgers?

I guess I guess in my in my story, hamburgers. No, I don't know. I don't think there was. I think I don't know what the I know that originally it was about. It was going to be about a family of cannibals. Did you know that? I didn't know that. Yeah, it was originally going to be about a family of can.

And it's true. That's a family of cannibals that ran a burger restaurant. And then, uh, this is where sometimes like, uh, you know, people from network production, when you have And then I think Lauren was like, no, not, not really. No. I think he just thought because he came from sort of an adult swim world that it had to be. So like, that's why like the first episode has some stuff about like, I think it's the first, the pilot might be about how like, there's jokes about it being human meat. But it isn't because they were like, let's not make a whole show about cannibals, like a workplace comedy where people live there, that's good enough. That would wildly alter the, it's a beloved show.

Yeah. And I don't think it would be as beloved. I think everyone agrees. Which is why it is not about a family of cannibals that are lovable. Yeah. Yeah. That's tough to do. I mean, it's a challenge. Yeah. If anybody could do it, Lauren could do it. Yes, I think he could. He could pull it off. But I think it's easier with not focusing on cannibalism.

Yes, I agree. I want to tell everybody that it's so rare that you get to say something like this, what I'm about to say, but you and Teresa's wedding might be the best wedding I've ever been to. Thank you. It was, we stayed next to her day. Yeah, yeah. I tell you that. We, it was, every bit about it was awesome. And I know I told you that there, but even with time, it was just great, everything about it.

Yeah, thank you. It was sort of, yeah, it was this neat, like crazy, I don't know. Every choice you made was great, I would say. And I think everybody else felt that as well. And my daughter on her own went and saw a bunch of horseshoe crabs that had been went and saw a bunch of horseshoe crabs that had been beached and she went and she got a stick and she turned them over and sent them back into the water. Oh wow, they were like, they were alive still. Yeah.

I think. I'm not sure. Maybe not, maybe not. I watched this from afar. She was by herself. She, I saw her see them and then go to them. And try to help them. Yeah, and try to help them, which I really appreciate.

I wouldn't change her story to her, but there's kids there all dead. Yeah, could have been. But I hadn't really thought about that. Yeah, yeah. That's great. Well, I did find a dead carcass, a horseshoe crab. And when we were out there and, I mean, really dead,

not like newly dead. And I put it on top of the cake, I told you that I put it on top of the wedding cake. Did I take that? Oh, yeah. It's great. It looked real, is it a horseshoe crab or cake? Yeah, there you go. Mean that. Yeah. It's great. It looked real. Is it a horseshoe crab or cake? Yeah, there you go. I mean that.

Yeah. Oh, thanks. Yeah, it was, you know, like all the different parts were, yeah, were very lovely. Yeah. And beautiful setting. Just again, every choice you made, like it was, I don't mean this to sound, you know, flip or, you know, but it was like short and sweet too.

It was like the perfect amount of time. And then Tom Kenny was probably one of the greatest nights of his life, I'm gonna guess. And- He was the band for people this day. It's true. Like why? Does he got everyone? Everyone had him do SpongeBob.

Yeah. Yeah. He fronted the band and he was going nuts. Yeah. And uh, Yeah. And then the night of country music. Yeah.

That was great. And my, my daughter dancing up a storm with her mom and all the kids. And um, yeah, it was great. You guys should be. Please. Please satisfy it. Yeah, it was great. You guys should be please, please satisfy it. Yeah, we were. Eugene Merman. David Cross. Is there anything you want to say that hasn't been said? I don't know. I don't know. I guess we have... Oh, yeah. Who knows? I don't know. I don't know. I guess we have, oh yeah, I don't know when this comes out. Who knows when.

I'd be like, check out my TV show, there's in 2027. I think it'll be before 2027. But like in like, what you think in like several months? Yeah, I think it'll be like, what do y'all think? I think I have a couple months to say that. So should I just say that I have, will the record label stuff be on here? Should we talk about that? Or should I mention it? Yeah, of course.

And anybody coming up that you're going to sign or do a project with? I think that there's like various people that we're like sort of talking to, but this is like, Glazor's, what maybe is out. I think that there's like various people that we're like sort of talking to but this is like lasers What maybe is out? Mm-hmm? I do yeah, can I? Recommend a few people. Yes throw some names out there definitely Russell brand Jerry Seinfeld Yeah, he's...

Same what I'm thinking of or a different guy. He's like, you know, brick background, like, what's the deal with it? Yep, I would do... if he had an album, but it's all sock jokes, like, meditations on socks. Oh, no, I wouldn't do that. What about the capital steps? Now we're talking. Now we're talking. Those other ones were silly suggestions.

Yeah, this is like, I don't know who from that is alive. You don't think there's like a third generation of capital steps that just tour around? Keeps doing? Yeah. Oh, like Gallagher generation of capital steps that just tour around. Yeah Oh like Gallagher tube of capital steps. Yeah, just like whatever they I mean those things are so easy You just insert different, you know, whoever the second time just like an album that fucking sticks it to LBJ Like we're gonna get it'll be like a radio play von meter. Is that the guy? Yeah, I think there's just like so many of those old records where it's like

But it was also like at a time when there were three channels and then the only record entertainment was like Yeah, weird like political community theater or like it's you don't have like the idea that a guy like rich little was Massive and he just did impressions and the jokes were man. Yeah. But it was like, like you don't hear impressionists as like sit when you go to comedy clubs, there's not, you don't see too many impressionist headliners.

No, I mean I remember seeing what I first started out like impressionists in Boston. But it was also like impressionists who would like, they wouldn't like sometimes people who do impressions work impressions into like a they wouldn't like sometimes people who do oppressions work impressions into like a cohesive story, but sometimes they're just like, what if Bill Clinton brought you a pizza? This is what it'd be like. Exactly. What the fuck is happening?

Well, Louis, Louis had the best, this is like back in the 80s, but Louis had the best impression of like when a guy goes up to her does impressions but has no material, like there was a guy at catch who would do the open mics and he would do, it was the Wizard of Oz and it was Dorothy was, I don't know if I got this exactly. Dorothy was Edith Bunker and the lion was, Jack Nicholson and whatever. And it would sort of do like 60 seconds of them talking

and then, and Louis would be in the back and he would go, yes, that's very accurate. Man, we could be so vicious to the really shitty persistent open micers. I think if you did it one, two, three times, nobody really gave you any shit. But if you were there like night after night, week after week, month after month, never wrote a new thing and just can't. And we just kept pushing, pushing your same. There was a guy, I don't remember his name, and he got work too.

I think his name was Rick something. He was from New Hampshire, and he would have a, he would wear, you might remember him because he might have overlapped. He wore a large red sweater that was a little too big for him, but not comically big. And then he would, his like first two minutes I would say, was about this dumb sweater, his wife got him and all this. And you're like, when you see it like the ninth time, like, well, don't wear the sweater.

Like stop wearing the sweater. Wear a different sweater. It was the same thing every time. Can you believe the sweat? All right. Yes. Eugene, I like to wrap things up. Sure. With a question from my daughter.

She has this question specifically for you. I told her, I was I told her I was gonna, I was like, yeah, Ollie's dad and I remember when we went to the wedding. So I have a, this is, she is a question from Marlo to you. Why is soap slippery? Marlo wants to know why is soap, and she wants you to tell her why soap is slippery. I swear to God, we were walking back from the playground last night. Oh, and she's like asking for real wise soap slippery? Yeah, and I said, hey, she knows,

because I get questions from her, and she knows I'm doing, she doesn't know what a podcast is. She wants like a silly answer, a real answer. That's totally up to you. Okay. You know, you like a silly answer or a real answer? That's totally up to you. Okay. You know. You can give her an answer.

The real answer is obviously God makes it slippery. And then the silly answer. That's the easy one. That's the real one of you if she got it, she's got to know. Look, love that is just the easy way to shut your kid up. Cause it's cause of God. Yeah.

Like all the questions she has. God, I don't know. God wants it. Yeah, exactly. Like before it'd be like, why, why, why? And now you're like, God, God, God, God, God. And then otherwise it's probably cause it got wet. I'm assuming.

With like a milk. I think she puts it in milk. What? Milk. Not to eat, but just like it's wet. It's wet, it got wet. Yeah, but that, I mean, I think she'd want something a little more scientific than that if you're gonna go serious. Oh You well, I think they were both there were the two sides of the God answer

I think you're being serious. You do think God made so even though soap is a man-made product God made the soap I think the same way that God created free will a man-made product. God made the soap slippery. I think the same way that God created free will. You think the way that soap is slippery is the same way that we have free will. Is that what you're saying? I think I'd really like to stick with that answer. Yeah, because otherwise, because here's my choice. I go like, because it's wet and wet molecules and slippery. Like, I don't know. I don't really know like other than like it's wet and it probably starts dissolving.

And then as a result, it's squishy and you keep putting it in the thing and it keeps falling in the sink. Like, I don't I don't really have a great answer. So I'd rather as all people lead on religion. And they go, if I can't answer that. It's God, but that you're a go-to. To a child. And then as they, once they hit 15,

I'll switch, because it's ghosts. Okay, now, I'm not going to allow Marlowe to listen to any of these until she's 15. So what do you have to say to 15 year old Marlowe? Hi, by the way. In answer to her question, why is soap slippery? Remember she's 15. She's 15 years old.

You know, I think ghosts give teenagers, and this is just how life works, I think ghosts give teenagers, and this is just how life works, impure thoughts. And those impure thoughts, moisten soap. Do you have to be near the soap or just all soap wherever it is just gets moistened and slippery when a teenager has- It has to be in a bathroom.

It won't work even in a kitchen. Oh, yeah. So when soap. Soap is never wet in a kitchen. So when soap is slippery in a kitchen, it's because there's a teenager nearby who's having impure thoughts. In the bathroom, in a kitchen, it's because of just the water.

Oh, I see, there's a distinction. So in the kitchen soap needs- That's really cleaning. Well, what's the other soap for? I don't know. The soap and the bathroom. I'd have to ask Marlo that. The soap and the bathroom,

what is the soap and the bathroom for? That like, it's just fragrance. I've been using it to clean this whole time. No. Literally my hands, my taint, you know, everything up and down, all around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You know what? I've thought more about what you said, and I think it's recleaning across the board. Yeah. But I think you made a distinction between kitchen soap and bathroom soap. Yeah. I think that it's all for cleaning. Sorry, let me clarify. Okay soap in bathrooms is Slippery

Because ghosts put impure thoughts into teenagers. Okay soap is wet in kitchens because Solely because of cleaning both are used for cleaning But the way they be that the soap becomes slippery, not just wet, but slippery. Right, right, right. In a bathroom. That's the key here. Okay. Is the, and I don't know if you would even say malicious because it's really just part

of growing up. So I don't think the ghosts are even malicious. I think they're just like, here's some thoughts. They're benign. They're benign, but they just help you discover what they do eventually go to art school, I would hope, or whatever, like graphic design, like something practical. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's great. Eugene Merman, thank you so much

you for being a guest on senses working overtime. Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me have you. You're welcome. And so it goes. And so it goes. senses working overtime is a Head Gum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to D. Me Druchin for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by Head Gum, visit headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe

we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not going to do that. Thanks for listening.