Senses Working Overtime with David Cross - Ian Karmel

Episode Date: May 22, 2025

Ian Karmel (The Late Late Show with James Corden) joins David to talk about fake teeth, big bones, and more. Catch all new episodes every Thursday. Watch video episodes here.Guest: Ian KarmelSubscribe and Rate Senses Working Overtime on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!Follow David on Instagram and Twitter.Follow the show:Instagram: @sensesworkingovertimepodTikTok: @swopodEditor: Kati SkeltonEngineer: Casey Donahue and Anya KanevskayaExecutive Producer: Emma FoleyAdvertise on Senses Working Overtime via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. The new McRispy Strip is here. Dip approved by ketchup, tangy barbecue, honey, mustard, honey mustard, Sprite, McFlurry, Big Mac sauce, double dipped in Buffalo and ranch, more ranch and creamy chili McRispy Strip dip. Now at McDonald's. Ba da ba ba ba. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on.

I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on.

I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on.

I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. I'm gonna go ahead and put this on. What would you prefer? It's your choice. Alright, cool. Like this one. Have we had a little boy? I don't think so.

I'm Casey. I'm Ian. Nice to meet you. Well, thanks for coming down here. Thank you for having me. Especially because you just had a big... Oh, you probably wanted to get out of the house. It's actually wonderful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really great to get out. And you said three months? Three months. Yeah. Yeah. So you said three months? Three months. Yeah, so you've got a little bit of time left. It'll start getting fun in about five years. Yeah, you'll have about five years to... He is intermittently...

Oh, so he? Six years. Yeah, six years. Six years and then for three years, right? Yeah. We have a mutual, Shane Torres. Oh, right on, yeah. He's like one of my dearest friends from back in Portland. Oh, really? Okay, yeah. Shane was opening up for a little while.

Yeah. Replacing the great Sean Patton. Oh, who's also the best. So we've never met. I don't know if we've met officially. I think we've been in like similar circles At time I mean look we just know a lot of the same people right yeah, but we haven't been in the same Room we haven't been in the same room. I don't think we I don't think we've done shows together

Okay, I never lived in New York right from Portland right to here right are you from Portland? I'm from Portland. Oh, yeah Yeah, one of the few who can say they're from Portland. One of the few, even that, they give me shit because I'm from Beaverton, which is a suburb of Portland. Yeah, so you're not from Portland. I'm not from Portland. You're from Beaverton. I'm from Beaverton, Oregon. Well, I mean, come on.

I don't know what you're trying to pull. I'm trying to pull a Portland. There are people who do it like, because when we all started to stand up there, the Portland Mercury, which is our alt weekly newspaper, oh no, it was the Willamette Weekly, which is the other alt weekly newspaper, always called me Beaverton's Ian Carmel. Would not let it go.

It fucking drove me crazy. Because all I wanted was to be the cool, actual from Portland stand up comedian because all these other people would move there. Yeah, being Beaverton's own is not as big a deal as Portland's own. Not really an honor. It's Nike headquarters, so that and me.

Or in reverse order, you then Nike. Me then Nike. I use less child labor, but not none. Right, right, right. I still have. I mean per capita though. Yeah, okay, if you do per capita, I am actually a bigger abuser than- And you got your kid, you got your boy working?

I already got him in the lab. Yeah. Already got him- In the lab? In the lab. Yeah. You have a lab. I have a lab. I have a sneaker laboratory. Wait, wait. I'm sorry. So what are the odds that the two sneaker giants globally would both be in Beaverton? Ian Carmel and Nike.

Yeah. It's, I mean, it's a hundred percent are the odds because it just, it happened. Yeah, well, fair point, but I guess pre it happening, what would the odds be? It would have been 32%. We actually did the math after. Yeah, those aren't odds, really.

No, no. One and eight. One and eight, that's not a big deal. There we go. No. That's also not 32%. It depends on the math. It's a regional math thing, actually.

In the Northwest, that is 32%. Oh, you guys do things differently there when it comes to math. Yeah. No one's going to tell you what two plus two is. Absolutely not. It's four, by the way. Not in Oregon. Yeah, well, it is. No one's going to tell you what 2 plus 2 is. Absolutely not. No. It's 4 by the way. Not in Oregon. Yeah, well it is.

No, no. Okay. It's not. It's 6. I know. But then somebody is going to tell you what 2 plus 2 is. Well, I'd like to see them try. I just did. I'd like to see you try to do that in Oregon. We're in California right now. Guys, can we...

We're going to... I don't know how this works logistically. Are we recording? Have we? No. We'll record in a... Yes, we are recording. We're gonna, I don't know how this works logistically. Are we recording? Have we? No, we'll record in a, yes, we are recording. Okay. I'd prefer not to record. Well, we never do.

Okay, that's great. Yeah. That's why I think this is probably our last round here. I think we might not, this might be the last LA trip I make to do recordings as Census Working Overtime. Because you're not actually recording or because we're slowly slipping into the ocean? What's the? Both. And they don't want any evidence of us slowly slipping into the ocean. No, they can't have that on the record. No. Can you swim?

Yeah. You listened to that Tool song that said learn to swim and you were like, on the record? No. So all the- Can you swim? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You listened to that Tool song that said learn to swim and you were like, that's the first thing I'm gonna do. Yes. And I relearned cause I knew I was pretty good swimmer. I was actually a swimmer when I was, you know, competitively.

Were you actually a competitive swimmer? I was for many years, yeah. Were you good? I was good, yeah. Where did you grow up? All over, but mostly Georgia. Mostly Georgia, that's right. And I was on a very good team in Roswell.

And we'd go to state finals and Junior AAU and all that stuff. And so I had my fair share of ribbons, medals,, medals. Did you have a stroke that was your specialty? Yes, it was backstroke until I, uh, the way that the, the regionals work is, you know, there's everybody, you know, there's just, it's a, it's a two day event, you know, and, um, and so because there's so many teams and they have all

these different heats, uh, they, you can get a point just for participating basically. You get, so it goes one through. So if you swim, it's like you're, you're there. It's a point. If you win, it's 10, like that kind of thing. Exactly. Yeah.

And then, and so there's individual stuff and then there's team stuff and, uh, and one, 10, like that kind of stuff. Exactly, yeah. And then, and so there's individual stuff and then there's team stuff. And one year they just needed a body to throw in. They had an extra heat and they had an extra lane and they were like, cross go and do freestyle, which was, I was good freestyle, but it wasn't. My particular stroke was backstroke. And so my buddies were up on the, the

bleachers though, you know, high up, we're in this big, massive, you know, Olympic pool. Your buddies on the swim team or did you have like friends who came by? Swim teams, no, no, no. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause you go down there, uh, you know, it's like

a whatever, three hour drive. You have to shut all over the place, right? Yeah. Um, and so I did this, I did this, this heat and I, I didn't think anything of it. Maybe that's why I did so well, but I ended up looking, you know, finishing, I think it was just a hundred meters. And then my friends are going nuts and I look back

and everybody else is kind of lagging behind. And I ended up placing, I think I came in last in the finals, but I never should have been there in the first place. But you made it to the finals. Yeah, like 86 people, whatever. And I made it, yeah. And then after that, they started using me more in freestyle when we were doing the IMs and the individual medley and then team medleys. I used to do backstroke, but then I would do

anchor freestyle in my age group. Was your resting heart rate just like 40 when you were doing it? I was like the personification of ozempic. You were, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were human ozempic. Yeah, I was human ozempic. They would draw your blood

and then inject it into people like me. Yep. Just to make sure. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I like, I, up until a few years ago, weighed like 400 pounds, including- Really?

In high school. I played football in high school because we knew that, that you have to. Yeah. Otherwise- Legally. Legally. In Oregon. Yeah, that or they just put you in a shed behind like you were that big, you have to. Yeah. Legally. In Oregon. Yeah. That or they just put you in a shed behind the high school. You legally have to- You'd rather play football than be put in a shed.

I would rather, now I would rather be in a shed than play football. But at the time, I would have rather played football than be in a shed. And describe the shed. What's in there? Is it- It's a tin shed. So it rains a lot and that actually, it's kind of a whimsical sound when the rain does hit the roof of the shed. the shed It's pleasant. It's relaxing relaxing You sit in there and you read some of the great works of the Pacific Northwest Ken Kesey Ken Kesey your Chuck Pollinux, you know your Judy Blooms, right? Where is Judy Blum from Portland, Oregon? No kidding. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that true? I think that's true

It's one of the two. It's either Judy Blum. Well, it's certainly not Beaverton. not from Beaverton. No, she's definitely not from Beaverton. Nobody's from Beaverton, just me and several unfortunate children. And Nike's. Yeah. Two of the biggest shoe ops. She said she was born in New Jersey. Okay, it's not Judy Blume. It's the other- It's the other- Children's author?

Children's author who writes about like- Well, there's several. Are you their God? It's me, Margaret? Judy Blume. Christ. Oh, maybe Margaret, maybe the character. Beverly Cleary. Beverly Cleary. Beverly Cleary. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Portland. The mouse in the motorcycle, yeah. Was that her? Beverly Cleary? Should we just keep checking stuff like just for more?

Now you got to keep. And it was a Yamaha motorcycle? The mouse in the motorcycle, was that Beverly Cleary? Yes. Yeah. Okay, nice, good job. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful shed.

Yeah, so aesthetically you liked it. You liked the layout. Of the shed. Yeah. I did, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was full of 400 pound teenagers, so it got crowded fairly quickly. Oh, of course, you weren't the only one.

Yeah, no, no. Because they grow them big up in Beaverton. They grow them big. The land of the tall pines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beaverton, Oregon. And was that song that, you know, the land of the tall pines. Yeah, there's several other. The land of the tall pines. Popines, flapjacks to the ceiling of the tin shed. Oh, this is a song specifically about the tin shed. It's about what every high school has a tin shed in Oregon.

Okay. For the fatter kids who didn't want to play football. Now, would you say fat or a big boned? My bones are gigantic. Right. They are actually. So maybe you get a bad rap as it were. I get a bad rap, yeah.

My bones themselves weigh 342 pounds. So to get to my current weight, I'd have a bunch of them removed. And which ones would you, you've got to do the- Femur. No, you got to do the- The ribs. The ribs so you can suck yourself up.

So you can suck yourself up. Yeah. I swear to God, having a conversation about self-sucking the other day. You know Marilyn Manson had, that's true. That he had his ribs removed. That hit my middle school. Yeah, of course. Like a fucking hurricane when that happened.

People were like, people were like, true believers, like evangelists for the fact that he had a rib removed, slamming desks. And somewhere in this great country of ours, walking amongst us is the person who came up with that. The first person. The person who invented that rumor, the lie, an out and out lie. Steve Bannon of middle school propaganda out there was just putting together.

Throwing some Hitler salutes out. Throwing some Hitler salutes out there. This guy did the Richard Gere gerbil rumor and then for like 15 years people were like, what do you got next? How are you going to follow this up? And he couldn't. He was just like. But his son did.

His son did. That's the thing. He passed it on to his son. He said, yeah, they had a difficult relationship. Yeah, well, they were lying constantly. They were constantly lying to each other. Yeah, yeah, I love you, or do I? You can never-

The thing that's gotta be so frustrating from them is there's no way to monetize it. This country has succeeded by out and out blatant lies. People are making tons of money lying, blatantly specifically lying to gullible people and they have not been able to monetize it. Our most powerful lies. Nobody's been able to put a price tag on it. They're like Jonas Sulk. They're like the Jonas Sulk of rumors where they refuse to copyright it. And they cured.

They just put it out there. Their rumors cured. They cured people it out there. Their rumors cured. They cured people's diseases. Polio, or at least their blue balls. You know what I mean? There you go. Yeah. There you go. I'm not proud of myself for that.

I am actually upset that I went there. We can cut all of this out. I'd like to cut everything out but that so people hold me accountable. Why is this episode only seven seconds long? They just put it on a loop? You hear Carmell saying blue balls over and over again? Sort of a jazzy piano in the background?

Yeah, we'll put some effects on it. It'll be cool. That'd be nice, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. We'll throw a little wah-wah in there. I'm noticing it's somebody's birthday, clearly, because there's a ton of birthday balloons. Beverly, clearly.

Oh, and can I, I don't know whose birthday it is, but can I invite Ian to take one of those balloons with him on the way out? Okay. Thank you so much. You are welcome. Yeah. I have a birthday coming up later this year, so that's actually very meaningful to me.

Are you doing another one? Yeah. Holy shit. How many do you have a year? This is going to be six this year. Wow. Yeah. So how old are you?

192 years old. Wow. Oh, that's the Oregon math. In Oregon, I'm 192 years old. Wow, that's great. Oh, that's the Oregon math. In Oregon, I'm 192 years old. Yeah, Oregon math, right. Yeah, in Oregon. Yeah, in Beaverton, I'm 186. Yeah, well, you love the Bible.

You love Genesis. Huge favorite, yeah, Peter Gabriel. Well, I meant the book of- I did too. Oh, because Peter Gabriel's- Mentioned heavily. Have you read Genesis? Are you a Bible native?

I have, I have, yeah. You didn't pick up the very strong Peter Gabriel undertones in it? No, maybe that was because my translation was, I maybe had a different- Did you read it in Latin? No. I read it in Latin. Because I don't, oh, there you go. Yeah, I don't know Latin either.

Oh, you just found Peter Gabriel mentioned- I just felt his presence while I was reading it in Latin? Oh, okay just found Peter Gabriel mentioned? I just felt his presence while I was reading in Latin. Oh, okay. Well, it's interesting because he did the soundtrack to The Last Temptation of Christ, the movie. That's right. Not the actual Last Temptation of Christ, which was- No, which was- Bubblegum. That's what he asked for. He was up on there. That was his last thing. I want a big

old thing of bubblegum. They're like, we can give you anything, Jesus. He's just like, it's weird. It's just gum. He wanted a big old bubble gum. He was trying to break the Guinness book, and they didn't have books yet, but the Guinness carving of world records. The Guinness cuneiform. And also, you know, much like the Bible and everything we know about it, their world, they couldn't conceive of Japan or sub-Saharan Africa. No, and it was their ultimate doom was the inability to conceive of Japan.

Yeah, yeah. Which is a time- That's why the Bible doesn't exist anymore. No. You don't find people referencing it. No. We do have the work of Dan Brown, which is as close as it gets. Yeah.

Da Vinci Code. And better, I'd say, an improvement. Absolutely. On the... A more prescriptive moral code, I found. And also, the thing is, it's just... I think people wised up in a sense. They were like, they read Genesis, and they're told to take these things literally.

And they're like, wait, so people live to be 970 years old? Right. You know, and these are people not in Oregon. In Oregon, I get it. A lot of people live in 900s, clear air, tall mountains. And terrible math. Awful math. Yeah, so I get that. But in the, like, yeah, these are people like in, where's the Bible take place? Italy. In Italy, yeah.

There's people in Italy. Chile. Chile. In Italy, yeah. There's people in Italy. Chile. Chile. Yeah. Bogota. Well, that's Columbia. Montevideo, Uruguay. Yeah, all those.

All those places. The hotspots of the Bible. Bible, yeah. And these people are living to 900 years old. Yeah. Yeah. Do you find that hard to believe? I do, yes. That they were living on that? I find literally everything about the Bible hard to believe.

So you're not burying your plates when you're done eating on them and you don't send women to sheds when they're menstruating? No, I do that, but that's for different reasons. That's a different thing. Okay, good, good, good, good. Well, that's the thing. Some of these are like timeless lessons that don't necessarily, you don't need to like fear a vengeful God to know that it's a good idea to send a woman to a shed when she's menstruating. Yeah. I mean, let's also be mindful that when I think shed, I think it connotes this kind of like a barn and it's dirty and it's cluttered and cobwebs and all that.

But the shed that I have for my women that I send to the, whether they're menstruating, whether they- We should also say people who menstruate. Like we want to get ahead of that too. Like it's not just women, it's people who menstruate. Anyone who menstruates, guys who go to a shed. But the shed is nice. I mean, I know that's relative, but it's really nice.

It's outfitted. There's a ton of Yankee candles. Choose your scent. I like that. Yeah. And then there's. Because people are like, I'm going to spend $120 on a candle.

You don't need to do that. Yankee candle makes a great product. Wait, who's spending $120 on a candle? People in Oregon. Oh, right. Right. Yeah. So what's the GDP of Oregon?

$753,000. Oh, that's way less than I imagined. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so the bad math goes both ways. It's total $753,000 for the whole state, and most of that's candles. I didn't. Boy, I'm learning a lot about Oregon.

Now, I will say this. I shot a movie in what's called the Dark Divide. The biggest last- Uncircumcised trail in North America. The Pacific Crest Trail? No, it's called the Dark Divide. Is it in Oregon? Well, that's the nickname. It goes up to the cascade. Oh, I see.

So it's partly in Oregon, partly in Washington. Up into the Olympic to the cascade. Oh, I see. So it's part, partly in Oregon, partly in Washington. Up into the like Olympic range and everything. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, it's a, part of it is Mount Adams. Mount Adams, yeah, absolutely. And this was Twilight Two, right? This was the second one. Twilight Two, Electric Boogaloo,

which was a, which was a musical that we did. And it was kind of- That's what the Tinge, that's what the Shed song is from. Yes, yes. I'm sorry I didn't actually put two and two together. Oh, I'm embarrassed now. And it's, well don't be, don't be. A lot of people make that mistake or don't see it. But it's, uh, yeah, it was a fun kind of parody, uh, porn. It was a porn parody of Twilight 2. It was a parody of porn or- It was a parody of porn. So there's no sexual acts in it, but we really give it to the porn industry.

Finally. Yeah. They've had it too good for too long. Yeah. And then had some fun with the whole vampire V werewolf thing, you know. Which is, I think a Supreme court that gets cited more and more, especially with the Trump administration, vampire V werewolf. Yeah. You know. Which is, I think a Supreme Court that gets cited more and more, especially with the Trump administration.

Yeah. The Empire v. Werewolf. Yeah. Yeah. Boy, can you imagine if there is a opening in the Supreme Court? Yeah. Can you imagine 7-3 becoming eight to two?

No, wait, 7-3, no, 7-2 becoming eight to one. Eight to one. No, wait, 6-3 becoming seven to two. no wait, seven, three, no, seven, two becoming eight to one. Eight to one. No, wait, six, three becoming seven to two. Is that right? You're from Oregon. It's the nine. It's the nine.

Well, yeah, you don't want to ask us about the Supreme Court. Oh, so you're aware that it's bad math. Huh? No. Oh, then why don't I want to ask somebody from Oregon about the Supreme Court? Because everyone up there thinks that means it's a court with sour cream on it. Oh, so, right. We have like a supreme. Supreme court, like a taco supreme, a supreme burrito.

So, there are people who believe that the Supreme Court is a court with sour cream, that comes with sour cream, either on top or on the side. On top. On top. So, not either. You can't get on the side. You can't get on the side. You can get sour cream on the side. What kind of court would have sour cream on the side? That's funny. That's more absurd than sour cream on top. That's funny. Yeah. And is it on top of them themselves, their heads? It's piled on like a wig on a British judge, kind of.

Okay. All the judges wear it sort of piled on on top of their heads. So it almost on like a wig on a British judge, kind of. Okay. All the judges wear it sort of piled on on top of their heads. So it almost looks like a wig. It does look a little bit like a wig. They also use Greek yogurt sometimes. It's a pretty similar flavor profile. For health purposes? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Well, I mean, live and learn. Man, this, just from the very beginning, guys, we've learned so much. This was, yeah, yeah. I'm happy to tell you even more. Any questions we have about literally anything. I mean, I feel like we could stop now. I mean, why continue? What else is there to learn? It's like the guy after, I believe it was after the steam engine or the torrent, one of those things,

there was a guy. I want to say- Fulton's Folly. What? Fulton's Folly? No, I was going to say, unless I don't know the term name for it, but the guy, I believe he was a, he was a congressman who just wanted to close the Fatton office, because everything that could be invented had been invented. Is that a thing that really happened?

That's a real thing. I'm gonna guess Republican. I'm just gonna throw that out there. He's like, that's it? Everything, I can't remember which thing it was. It was like the, it was something like steam engine or train or cotton gin or something where he's like, it was a waste of money. Close the patent office for done. Do you think he like sat at home for like a week and was just trying to think of another thing? Like just like, what's the next

thing? Yeah. Just after a week, he's like, well, I can't come up with it. But here to his credit, he actually did come up with, he came up with the Roomba. That was him. Yep. He came up with the water pick. Oh. Yeah, yeah. You're supposed to use that.

Yeah, you should. Do you water pick? I do. Man. I have terrible teeth, terrible, terrible, terrible, beyond bad. Like, I have, I believe I counted it with the last one. I have more artificial fake teeth in my mouth than teeth I was born with. When did you start like going to the dentist?

Like in your life, was that a regular, did you go like as a kid or did you have like a long gap? I, I. Like when you started. Well, yes, there was a gap, did you go like as a kid or did you have like a long gap? Yeah, no I did. Like when you started? Well, yes, there was a gap when, you know, like a lot of, you know, people who lived on their own when they were like, you know, 1920, well, my 20s, I probably only went to the dentist if I had to.

And, but sometimes these two teeth are mostly plastic because when I was in third grade, I was going down a pretty steep hill on my Chipper, which was a junior version of the Chopper, remember that bike? Yeah. And I was going down and my handlebar started shaking. And then within a few seconds, my whole wheel just turned and basically stopped and it launched me. I went flying and landed on my face and a neighbor, I was just a bloody mess and missing teeth.

Yeah. A neighbor carried me. I remember my mom was on the phone, old school phone with the cord coming, sitting at a kitchen table or whatever. This guy, my neighbor carries me and I remember my mom. It was like a kitchen table or whatever. And this guy, my neighbor, carries me and I remember my mom, you know, it was like a screen door or something. Yeah, well, that's what she said. No, I'm not going to... Oh! It's just screaming.

It's just like a bloody mess. Like the bloody corpse of Christ in her arm just bleeding from your mouth. That's hilarious. And it was fake. It was bad, but it wasn't quite that bad. You know what I mean? It was just face, so there's blood everywhere, even though it was scraped up and my teeth- But it looks as bad as it can look. It looks as bad. Yeah, it looks really, really bad. And- I have a theory about the dentist. I didn't go to the dentist probably from like when I was like 19 until maybe I went like once in my 20s, right?

Right. That's, that's kind of, yeah. I think it's pretty standard. And then- And you had no insurance. I had no insurance. I'm not going to go, I had no money and no insurance. Right. You're supposed to like go out of pocket and be like, yeah, here's like 400 of these $200 I have. Yeah, here, clean my teeth and let's see, what is it, $180, that's rent, almost rent and beer and, but then I won't get cavities, I won't have mouth pain.

I'm going to hang on to this money for now. I'll take the beer. Yeah, I'll take the beer. I'll drink until it doesn't hurt anymore. Yeah and Once I finally started going like in my mid 30s mid to like late 30s is when I finally started going to the dentist And I thought I had had great teeth I'm like, I think I just have teeth that don't get cavities like I thought I was like a genetic Look pretty good. Thank you, but I grind them. Oh, sure.

So they look like straighter than I think they like actually are. But then what's the problem? My teeth were full of cavities. Ah, and it didn't hurt? It like when I finally went, one of the teeth was like falling apart. Like there was like- And you didn't have any sense of that due to pain or anything? It didn't really ever hurt. It was crazy.

Like never, never the kind of pain where I couldn't like get through my life without it. Even when the tooth collapsed, it was more like a novelty in my mouth. Much like a Carvel cookie. What a fun pick. What a fun novelty. But it was like a structural anomaly.

I'm like, oh, that's weird. There shouldn't be like a hole right there. But, and I had, it's extra embarrassing because I had dental insurance for like five years without ever going. But I think like you will spend X amount of time at the dentist and you can either do it spaced out over like 10 years like you're supposed to, or you can do it like in a two year span or like in a three month span like I did where I was like in there twice a week with them like doing like fillings or like

root canals and all that stuff. So kids go to the dentist. For sure go to the dentist. Now I've had alled gum lines. And I ended up having to get this, I've been quite lucky actually with timing. Like when this happened, Rewitron teeth, they had just invented the bonding,

the enamel stuff and then the purple ultraviolet light. So that had like months prior to that. So like they could attach the root. And occasionally it comes out and it falls out, but it doesn't hurt and everything's dead up there anyway. But it's, so I got lucky with that. And then I've had a number of things, procedures and stuff, I've had a number of things, procedures and stuff, but on my upper left and my lower, on my left side, I had to go in and they had invented this.

This is maybe nine years ago, 10 years ago, something like that. They grafted, it was a German guy who invented this, but a pig cell, bones. So I can't remember exactly what it is. When did he invent it? During the Nazi era. Okay, good, good, good. So it's good. Yeah. It's not like posts.

Right. No, it has been, you know, they used people. This was in the bunny rabbit thing. Okay, thank God, because I was going to say, you don't want like... No, it has been, you know, they use people. This was in the bunny rabbit thing. Okay, thank God. Because I was gonna say, you don't want like... No, no. When you say pig, you mean Jewish people. Not a cop. What? You mean Jewish people cells when you say pig. Am I taking the riff too far? I'm Jewish.

Dude, you gotta commit. Come on, you can't backpedal like that. Everybody, I'm Jewish. I can say that because I'm- Another funny joke. That I am Jewish. I am alive. Piscopalian, lifelong Piscopalian. Oh man. No, you've got to commit Ian. I'm sorry about that. You're going to do that. You're going to come on this podcast. I'm sorry, I pulled the ripcord. That was an early ripcord at the Sabaro's before security.

Oh my god. I'm sorry. That was a pig. And I even went with Cop and you didn't even steamroll that to get Tickle Jew. I didn't even, I wasn't listening. I was so nervously cradling this punch line in my hand that I didn't even listen to yours and then I threw it up directly into a ceiling fan. Yeah.

Those cells from a pig teeth or whatever it was. And you bought, and you, he had a, um, kind of flay open the gums and then put this stuff on and then stitch everything was stitched. I had like 22 stitches on each, uh, level. And, um, level. You're only two. You have a split level now, right? Level. Really? Level. the upper and the lower. Your platform, your upper platform. The great thing about the upper one is the view though. Oh yeah.

The view is much better from up there. Oh yeah, oh no, it's astonishing. Yeah. If you can get over, cause it's a walk up, right? This, this just reminded me, when I was working on the Ben Stiller show and I had spent very little time in LA and

certainly no time in like Hollywood or Burbank, there was a thing I was doing after the Stiller show and do you know Rob Cohen at all? No. Comedy writer? No. Rob and I were writing this thing for Ben to direct and Judd to produce and our office was in Burbank. Anyway, that's neither here nor there, but you know what? So the river, the LA River, the mighty LA River.

The mighty LA River, yeah. Runs. Teaming at the banks. Part of it runs through. And for those of you who have not been here, it's like a trickle stream. It's nothing and it's dirty. And the whole, it's cement. It's where they shot the grease. Remember in the... Grease Terminator. It they shot the grease remember in the terminator it's all it's all that that's the river it's really sad but I remember seeing apartments and they were advertised as having a river view my god I'm not shitting you it was my first year you know my first year here I'm

like are you fucking kidding? But to somebody it's like, yeah, I'll pay a little extra to see the back of the film. Yeah, take a look at the river. The two days of the year it rains. The LA River. I think that's, they're probably trying to get like, people like you who are moving to LA,

who haven't really spent a lot of time at all, they're like, fucking right, I didn't even know there was a river. Yeah, I guess it's a dry period. Yeah, it must be. That'll change. The last 600 years. Yeah, it should change. That'll change. The last 600 years. Yeah, it should change shortly.

It was full once when they filmed Chinatown. They'd like, send them. It's had no water in it. Right, that was half their budget. Yeah, that was it. Getting enough water to... It's, there are parts of the LA River, it's weird. Like, I live near a part of the LA River,

and I'm actually, my house is actually on the market, where the river is quite full. And where is that? At Water Village. Okay, yeah. At Water, it's at quite full. And where is that? At Water Village. Okay. At Water. It's at the water. It actually is.

I never fucking put that together. I used to live up the street. I used to live in Los Feliz and Silver Lake when I lived here. So I'm right across the river from that. At Water. I never fucking put that together. I'm not kidding. That's not me trying to be funny.

It took me a few years. It wasn't until I lived there for a couple years where I was like I think like standing in the village those Indians are smart brilliant yeah yeah brilliant people and I don't care what Trump says we need to get the visas out there I do care what Trump says yeah no listen listen with like really listen. Yeah. I listened to Trump with the original Latin. Okay, great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, this is a, uh, true, very real example of how dumb I can be in the, in the sense, but way worse than the, oh, at water, I just now I get it. So I had been living here for years and years and years. I mean, five years at least. Yeah. And I, and, and when you go down the 10, uh, I think in between sort of like Fairfax and

La Brea, one of those exits kind of near there, you'll see to the right, it says accident investigation site, right? When there's this kind of like area that they've, right? And when I first saw it, and for years and years, so I'm going to say well over 1800 days, I was like, I thought it was where a really bad accident occurred. And they had created this thing. And just never.

It was like a cold case. They were like. Yeah. For a cold case car accident. We still don't know. I truly, and then when it occurred to me, because it's so obviously, that's a dumb thing to think. And I felt dumb for about a year.

Yeah. Like, wow, how fucking dumb is that? You're like, if you're driving by with someone, you won't make eye contact with them during it, you're just so embarrassed. The other thing is though, about that, I don't know what it's for then. Oh, you're supposed to pull over if you have an accident. So

you're not blocking up all the lanes. Oh, so it's like, okay, we got a little fender bender, try to move to this spot, like away from you. Are you serious? You didn't know what it was? Well, no, I didn't think it was what you thought it was. But I didn't know. Well, now you're qualifying. I didn't know if that's where like-

So what did you think it was? The car accident detective. I thought maybe it's where he parked. The car accident detective. I thought maybe it's where he parked. The car accident detective. If I'm being 100% honest, that would have- I think when I drove by it, I was like, that must be where they set up their little base camp and then they go investigate the accident. I would say that's slightly less dumb than what I thought. I would say a little more than slightly.

I don't think so. I think it's a little more- I don't think so. Than like a five-year-old accident that they know where she can't take it. She just found out that it's She just got out that that's not what her back here to I want her to settle this have the meeting in this room Have the meeting in this room. Oh, yeah I know but we have something that we have to settle. Oh Yeah, I thought you brought me in because I thought you finally noticed the grapes I know, but we have something that we have to settle. Oh, can I say something? Yeah. I thought you brought me in because I thought you finally noticed the grapes. I noticed the grapes.

These are nice grapes. And there's grapes out there, too. I noticed grapes on the way in. Those ones, those ones, they even did not like, so I got them. No, you got new grapes. So these are different grapes. I did, actually, I did notice when I walked in. That was kind of why I laughed when I walked in.

There was, I chuckled to myself. I looked at it, I was like, nice. You know what, because these are blatantly fake. So I- Which I know was your problem with the other ones. I appreciate that. These are nice. I like, this is pleasing to me in a way where it feels like I'm at my grandmother's house.

Like that kind of- Right, well that's what you're going for. You're Ukrainian, Russian? Russian. Russian. So, so imagine this- Russian Jew, to be clear. Nice, nice. Nice? Russian. Russian. So imagine this. Russian Jew, to be clear. Nice. Nice.

Nice. Russian Jew. Good. Russian Jew. Which is different. Very different. Better than Russian judgment. I don't know if you saw the stolen valor Jew thing. Are you not? No, I'm 100% Jewish.

Oh. I'm bar mitzvah and everything. What was your after? It was Noah. It was the flood. Baruch atah adonai, alo che'em melech ha'olam. Yeah, these songs are so good. Yeah, they're so good. It was Noah. It was the flood. Baruch atah adonai alo che umel ha'olam. Yeah, you sound like somebody who watched a YouTube video once.

I'm sorry my outdoor started with the most basic part of Judaism. I'll be back. You can be back. You want to ask her about the crash investigation site? Well, she's got this meeting to go. I have no opinions on that. Is the meeting about crash investigations? No, I wish.

But we what, can we get a office-wide meeting about whether his thinking the accident investigation site? I'm saying it's slightly less dumb. I think it's much less dumb. He's saying it's a lot less dumb. I'll ask the Spotify people what they think. Yeah. Well, they're Swedish.

Get them in here. They'll be back. Get them in here. Yeah. Well, they're Swedish. Get them in here. I'll be back. Get them in here. They're Swedish. They love apps. They do love apps. The Swedes? The Spotify people.

The Spotify people. Oh, they love apps. They love Swedish apps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Meatballs. Lincolnberry. Trying to think of other. Licorice?

What else might be an appetizer in Sweden? Herring. Oh, herring. Sort of a herring egg roll situation. If you go to a Swedish TGI Fridays, do you think it's like, you know, we have like cheeseburger egg rolls here? Well, they say, thank Gott, it's Friday. Yeah, so it's different.

It's just a different vibe. Thank Gott in Himmel. Thank Gott in Himmel, which is German. In Friday, it's actually Thank Gott that's Thursday because I think they probably have like a more reasonable work week. Oh yeah. And then they also work from home. Right. So do you have a podcast? I guess you do. I do have a podcast, yeah.

Everybody has a podcast. These days. KC, do you have a podcast? I used to do. I do have a podcast, yeah. Everybody has a podcast. These days. KC, do you have a podcast? I used to have a podcast. For fucking real? Yeah. Jesus Christ. What was your podcast about?

It was about Formula One race cars. Oh, okay, yeah. There you go. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I said the guy who's never heard it. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, no one heard it.

It's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was called, maybe your podcast was called- The Pit Wall. The Pit Wall, of course. Of course, yeah. Yeah, we all listen. So did you have to give up your podcast

to make room for mine? No, I gave up, I gave it up to make room for other podcasts though, for sure, yeah. See, that's how it works. Sacrifice. That's how they gave it. One in, one out. Can't have too many.

I've had mine since 2016. This is brand new, I mean, I never. Yeah. I shouldn't say brand new at this point, but how many shows have I done? Any idea? Episodes that you've done of this? Yeah. Let's see. We're going to get that info. Okay. In American numbers, not Oregon numbers. Sure. Okay. I also like it in Oregon numbers. Well, you can, you're the only person in this room

who has the authority to- One of three people in, oh, in this room, yeah. But that's Oregon math. Who can do a Translate Oregon? Yeah. Yeah. Now I have a question about your last name. Is it one of those regional things,

like depending on what part of the country you grew up, whether it's a caramel or a caramel? It's caramel in Oregon. Okay. Yeah. So where, in Georgia, it would be caramel. It would be caramel. Okay, cool. Actually, it's caramel everywhere,

but I actually wouldn't mind making that switch right now. And what is the etymology origin, whatever that's called? We're Jewish. So it was made, our family name was Katz originally. So my grandfather's name was Solomon Katz. And when he came to America, like so many other Jews, he just changed it because he was like, it's too Jewish.

It's gonna like hold me back. And then he went to Katz's deli and went, oh, what a mistake. It's packed. I could have kept it. He changed it to George Carmel from Solomon Katz. I don't know how he picked Carmel. There's like Carmel, California, you know, Carmel by the Sea. I don't know.

But that's spelled with a C. It's spelled with a C. With a K. With a K. I have no idea where he got it from. And this is your grandfather? This is my grandfather. And he came from where?

Paris, he was Parisian, yeah. Yeah, so he was, but yeah, he was born in Saolo and Katz. State interest, I mean, like he was in Paris for the entire Nazi occupation. He didn't come over until after. This is, it's weird to talk about this and then also. But he was in the same Paris apartment for almost the entire Nazi occupation, him, his brother and his mom. How did they survive? His mother, I think had some kind of relationship with someone who protected them,

like either a Nazi officer or something like that, just out of pure desperation to keep the family safe. His father, my great grandfather, part of the reason he was so comfortable getting rid of the cat's last name, like when the Nazis were invading, just split, just left his kids, left his wife, got out. Where'd he go?

He went to Israel. So he like, or to that region, yeah, which was it was not Israel yet, but went to like that region. Just left, left them all behind. So like when he was like out in his own- What a piece of shit. One of the most like, just the biggest piece of shit move you can possibly do. Yeah. Absolutely despicable. So when he got, when he was like, I'm my own man now, he really, a lot of Jews like change their own name. There's this, I read this book. Did you?

That's great. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, yeah. The Beverly Cleary? It's Beverly Cleary. If you give a Jew a last name. Okay.

But the, you know, there's that whole- Well, don't spoil it. Okay, I won't spoil it. But I have read a book. And so what happens? So what, what? Just wanted everyone but I have read a book. And so what happens, so what happened, what? Just wanted to let everyone know I read a book. Okay. Yeah.

Talking to the readers, I love it. Well, I congratulate you, everybody, for that. Thank you very much. I was trying to milk it a little more after. You had made it funny. And the book said about the- This is true, a lot of the people, Jews, but this is everybody who like came to America and said,

oh, Ellis Island changed my last name because they didn't understand it. That's almost like complete bullshit. Ellis Island changed almost zero last names. Because they were like, the guy didn't understand my Russian last name. And it's like, well, they had people who spoke Russian. They did. It was mostly people who changed their last name, but were kind of ashamed. Didn't want to cop to it. That's interesting. To other Ukrainians or Jews or Polish people. so they mostly just did it to fit in better and then lied about it later. Like if you, they have records of all the last names they changed and it's like

half of a percentage. And they're all Hernandez. It was all Hernandez. They changed them to Fernandez. Which was easier for the American ear to hear. Fuh, yeah. As a huh. Here, Hernandez is gendered. Is gendered, right. It's like the British thing where they say herbal? Herbal, yeah. Herbs. In England, it's Herbinandes. It's what?

Herbinandes. Herbinandes is Herbinandes. Oh, so they had a B. Yeah, they had a B. Oh. Well, they pronounce the B. The B is had a B. Oh. Well, they pronounce it a B. The B is there in America. We just don't pronounce it.

You know, do you have any idea why the Brits call arugula rocket? No, I don't. They also, yeah, no. I don't know. No, I don't know why they do. I like it more. Yeah, it's more fun to eat.

But it's not, yeah, I mean, I'm a big old plate of rocket. Yeah. Like, they call German shepherds Alsatians, and I get that because they hate the Germans so much that they were like, we're not even gonna give them this dog. Alp dog. Yeah, yeah.

But like the rocket thing, no, I don't get. Yeah, I never got- You have a few others, don't they? Isn't there like- Well, that one in particular is like- Crugettes. Crugettes, well, that's French. That's French, yeah.

Rocket just seems arbitrary. Yeah. For a specific lettuce leaf or rougelot. It absolutely does. Yeah. They call eggplant something weird too, right? We? No, well we do.

We do, yeah. Eggplant? Eggplant. I mean, that's weird. That's the weirder name. Yeah. England calls eggplant something different, right? Aborgine. Aborgine. That's also French.der name. Yeah. England calls eggplant something different, right? Aborigine.

Aborigine. But that's also French. French, right, yeah. This is an intro that's just a completely, or partially related interesting thing. You can sort of tell the class split in England from all the fancy names for the animals, like lamb. This is like one of my wife's facts, all the fancy names for the animals, like lamb.

This is like one of my wife's facts and now I'm butchering it. But like mutton is German. Butchering, interesting choice of word. I'm butchering it. Yeah, interesting. Mutton is derived from the German, you know? But like lamb is like from the French. Like it's more fancy.

I fucking, I could not have blown that fact harder. Yeah, I don't. I'm tempted to get her on the phone to get it. It's not even a, that's not even a thing. No, it's one example. Even like, bof, as opposed to beef? Beef. That's French. It's bad.

I'm, I- Is your wife Jewish? She is. Okay, so your parents were happy? Very happy, yeah. Her parents were even happier. Yeah. My wife was the first Jewish woman I dated.

Really? Yeah. On purpose? No, no. Completely on accident. It wasn't one of your rules? Weirdly, it was not one of my rules. I only have three rules.

And what are they? Live fast. Right. That's where I thought they were applied to dating, but okay. These two too, live fast. Okay. Second rule is not too fast.

Okay, and what's the third rule? Actual arm would just slow down. That's the third rule. That's the third rule. It seems like you can dispense with the first two rules. No, you get the first two to settle. Okay. But it applies to dating, live fast live like lib fast live no that's

not her last name is it not oh live fast are you saying live tyler no live tyler is her last name but fat i thought i thought it was fast it's not fast it's tyler but when you just referenced live tyler that's how I knew who to talk about because you said her last name. I'm not sure that's true. Well, maybe in Oregon. Not Oregon names. Is this these riffs? Is this what the podcast is? Because I, okay, fantastic. I'm having a great time.

Well, we haven't really started yet, but if you wanna start recording, we can get into. Well, that's what I wanted to know once we start actually recording it. All right, we're talking with Ian Carmel, he of Beaverton. Unless you're in Georgia. Unless you're in Georgia. Unless you're in Georgia, and with Carmel.

Now, do you have anything to plug? A lot of stuff. Most of the lamps in my house. I got a toaster. We got a magic bullet. My wife has been really enjoying that. So, is there a place where we can find more of these comic gems? Because you took plug literally. Did you like how I did that?

No. Could you see yourself I did that? No. Could you see yourself doing it maybe later on? Absolutely not. No. Let me just set up a scenario for you where you might use it. Sure. You're on someone else's podcast. Okay. They haven't heard this one. You know that for a fact because you sit down with them.

Because they don't have children because that's a very... This is a podcast for people with children. This is a parenting podcast, right? This one, yes. Yeah, this one. Okay, yeah. They ask you, do you have anything to plug? Eventually you are going to get to the thing you have to plug, but first you decide,

let me go ahead and give this person just a little levity in their day. And then you just mention- I guess, all right, a little levity, sure. Just a little levity. Yeah, a tiny bit. Yeah, just enough. Not barely visible to the naked eye.

Just like, enough for like a little smirk, like a gentle smirk. And then you launch into that bit. And an eye roll, and an accompanying eye roll. Yeah, but like a cute eye roll, like it's an eye roll, but I still, I'm really glad we're doing this. It's not vicious, it's not a vicious eye roll.

No, it's not like you're afraid their eyes are gonna roll out of their head and like down the street. You're going to have to chase after them because they can't even see where they went. That might be a scenario where you might do that. That'd be fun, but then the eyes would get filthy. The eyes wouldn't be able to see within seconds. Yeah, they'd be covered in detritus. Yeah.

And just, yeah, LA detritus. Also like the LA detritus, which congratulations on your recent World Series win. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not from LA, so it wouldn't be, I can't share on that. You lived here though. I did. Yeah. I spent nine and a half years here. That's all it takes.

To be- You were in Los Feliz, right? I was in- It's Feliz? The correct pronunciation would be Los Feliz. Yeah. Los Feliz, like the happy. Like Feliz Navidad, yeah. And – but everybody calls it Los Feliz. Yeah. Just to go, fuck you. Because it's at the water. Spanish descent. Yeah. At Water Village, never – At the water. Yes, we covered that. Yeah. Atwater Village, never, never.

At the water. Yes, we covered that. But it never occurred to me. But I like that I now have that in my head. Did you ever give any thought as to why it's called Frog Town? Because right across from Atwater Village, just sort of down the hill from Los Feliz, Frog Town. You know about Frog Town? Oh, that's got to be new. Frog Town? Yeah, that wasn gotta be new. Frogtown?

Yeah, that wasn't here. That wasn't a thing. Were they not calling that other side of the river Frogtown when you lived here earlier? No, no, no. Oh, so that's like new, that's a very strange sort of gentrification branding. Yeah, I guess French?

They call it Frogtown. Is it French? It's the original German, frog. Oh. Yeah. Huh. Yeah. Fronk-town. Fronk-town. Okay.

It's full of French people. Okay, wow. Yeah. No's full of French people. Okay. Wow. Yeah. No, that was definitely... And when you say across the river, what was that called before? I think it was... The only time...

I've only ever known it as Frogtown. Across from Atwater Village is an area called Frogtown, but maybe it wasn't called that. I mean, maybe they didn't have anything... I really don't spend much time here anymore. Yeah. Occasionally, I'll come here and do the podcast. I'll be here for a week, bang out a bunch. And then, but I've only done that. I want to say this is what, my fourth time I've done this.

And then I'm only here for work, but I haven't worked much. Certainly not in LA in a long time. Well, that's everybody, nobody has. Yeah. But I've done a bunch of stuff in Toronto, much. Certainly not in LA in a long time. Well, that's everybody. Nobody has. I've done a bunch of stuff in Toronto. My grandmother was in Belgium and she was hidden in a convent by these nuns while the Nazis were in Brussels. So she and her sister were eventually ferried out to the United States. Do you think that's why they call it Frogtown?

Yeah. Oh, interesting. Yeah. I don't think it's unconnected. Well, then it'd be connected. I don't think it's unconnected. I don't think that's not true. That's a way to say that it's connected. I don't think that's not a way to say it's connected.

I mean, you're just – yes, you're saying those things, but you're making it a little wordier by – I don't think I'm not making it wordier. It's like the most infuriated person to argue with. I wouldn't say that I am. I wouldn't say that I am. I wouldn't say that I'm not. I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that I'm not wrong. I wouldn't say that I'm wrong.

I wouldn't say that I'm not wrong. I wouldn't say that I'm not wrong. Just incomplete. Just a fucking brick wall you're throwing a baseball against. It was good times. Have you had a good time? I can't.

I have. Okay, good. I've had a good time too. I've had a blast. This has been. Oh no, I like laughing. I do too. I'm having a great time.

Yeah. Yeah. And you know, these, uh, I never know, uh, how they're going to turn out these podcasts and, and you know, you've. Some are a little bit more serious, some are very, very, very silly like this one. They both have their place. I was talking to Shane, our mutual friend, Shane Torres. Sweetest guy. Sweetest guy in the world. Legitimately might be the sweetest person friend Shane Torres. Mm-hmm. And I was like- Sweetest guy.

Sweetest guy in the world. Sweetest guy in the world. Like legitimately might be the sweetest person in the world. Very nice guy. He's like my mom and like, well, she's known him for like- And very funny. 15 years. You know.

Super funny. Have you heard his latest bit about nurses? Yes. Oh my God. It's awesome. I love the way he loves to just like- Well, we can't give anything, you know, but- Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You go see Shane Torres- just like, fuck it. Well, we can't give anything.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You go see Shane Torres. And it just keeps coming. Anywhere you can't. And it just keeps coming. God, I love that dude. I think he's gonna be out here this week, actually. Okay.

If you're here. But I was like, what's, this is embarrassing. I was gonna like bring you a present, and then I have a three month old, and I just could not believe. Oh, I don't want a three month old. I have my own kid. Jesus Christ, yeah. Jesus Christ. This is like a pretty cute kid. I have a flight to tell. I can't just get. He's a lap infant still. I've got stuff to do.

I can't and I'd have to consult with my wife. I was going to bring you a diaper bag. No, no, dude. This is how I'm going to bring it because this is how you're going to react to a gift. It's what the gift is. you're gonna react. I'm glad you didn't gift It's the what the gift is again. It's the gift of life. It's the greatest gift you can give Yeah, well to a person who wants the family anyone. No, not anyone Well, you don't know how much you're gonna grow up this kids gonna grow on you and he's gonna grow on you. I this seems like you're Like shirking your responsibility. Absolutely not. No, I thought it was like, what's the most meaningful thing I can give? I mean, yes, to you. I see that. That's quite a sacrifice. And your wife's okay with this?

I haven't run it by my wife. Well, that's something you might want to bring up because that could be a real deal breaker. Okay, bring it up to my wife and then she goes on a podcast later this week. She brings the kid and it's like, well, that was my idea. It's like too late. I can't go get it back from. Well, whose podcast is she doing? I don't know. The Splendid Table. I have no idea. I don't know what she might go on. Okay. So what's the Splendid Table? I'm not familiar with that one. It's a food. Is it food? Are you asking? It's woodworking?

It's not woodworking? No. No. But there is a Splendid Table after show, which is about the literal table. Okay. Yeah. It's a food podcast. You might go on there. You might bring up the boy. Well, regardless, I appreciate the thought that is exceedingly generous, and it's the

thought that counts, but I don't- Just leave your address. We'll mail it. Mm-mm. I get the flight thing. Now that I, I'm sorry I reacted so strongly, I do understand that the flight hard. Well, there's more to it than that. It's my, I'd have to check with my wife and my daughter

and our dog, we have a new puppy, you know? Well, the dog's not gonna like this. No, that's what I'm saying. Is this a, is this like unanimous consent or can it pass with a majority? So if like the three of you are into it, the dog is not into it, is that still okay? Or does everyone have to turn the key? The dog has less of a vote, but it does have a vote.

My daughter has less of a vote, but it does have a vote. My wife has no vote. And then I have- She's in the shed. Is she even going to vote? Yeah, she's in the shed. Well, it's one of those things. Tap three times for yes and twice for no.

And then I would, I get her vote because I'm the man. That makes sense. And I'm white, you know. You're white? Yeah, yeah. Oh, congratulations. White-ish. Yeah, white enough.

I tan like I get very dark. Yeah, get you out there. Very dark. Yeah. Well, that's why I try to want to get the kid to you in the winter. Oh. If I feel counted for more. Okay, yeah, yeah.

So we'll just ship him off, you leave me an address, we'll get him there. I still, yeah, well I'll talk, we'll talk about it, we'll see. We'll talk about it right now. Eden, let's not waste people's time with us arguing about whether I'm going to take your kid off your hands. Okay. Because you're gonna. That's a silly thing to even discuss. Yeah, let's not waste any time. I was talking to Shane. I was like, what would be some other good presents? I'm

going to give him my son. What's another thing I could put in that box? He was like saying some cool beer would be fun or like records. And that led me to wonder what, like, I, cause I've been getting into vinyl. I have a son turned 40 and I had never gotten into vinyl or records or any of that stuff. But now I'm like really enjoying having him listen into like full albums all the way through. Sure. It's mostly for me, but it's nice to like, it's not a screen. It's a little more like analog and like interactive. Absolutely. What are you listening to right now? On vinyl.

Just on it, like music-wise in general, like what are you enjoying? I mean, we will take, we have a place upstate in New York and near the, right on the New York side of the Delaware River, and we will drive up and down with our daughter. We used to be there all the time, but now that she's in school, we can't do it as much,

but she just had a week off, so we were up there for a while. And on those trips, we will go and rotate song requests. And so I haven't sat down and listened. I have the new Nick Cave CD, which I haven't listened to yet. But I've got that sitting in the plastic. And I just try to turn my daughter or my daughter and my wife onto something

they might not have heard. So a lot of it is like pulling older stuff. Like deep cuts. Yeah. Do you, is there, do you feel like you have sort of a, like do you, a curatorial hand in like your daughter's taste in music? Do you try to like subtly direct it

or how like engaged do you get in that? No, I definitely have done that for sure. And some sticks and some doesn't. And some things I think she's gonna love and she doesn't. What she's really – she's way into werewolves and vampires and stuff and she's way into that thing. She's a werewolf and she found out I'm part vampire and what my abilities are and she's a werewolf, et., etc. So I played her and my wife too because I don't think she knew of it. Talent is a Vampire by Bongwater.

It's just a great, interesting and it's Anne Magnusson doing these different voices. They're pitched up, pitched down of these women talking to each other and it's really, really, really, really funny. And then this like, you know, kind of thick guitar comes in and my daughter loves it. So I'll play it over and over again. So I've been, I've probably heard Talent is a Vampire maybe 40 times in the past month or so. Right, because like any kid, when they get something they like, they just want to run it back and forth.

That's got to feel- And for her, she's like, oh, when the music comes on, that's them turning into vampires. I was like, that's right. That's exactly right. Oh, shit. So she's like really engaging with it, like on a real- Oh, yeah. Yes.

That's got to feel like amazing, right? Yeah, but her first favorite song, I used to go when she had her crib in a room and I would sit outside the door and I would wake her up with different songs. Yeah. Like I'd play them and her first favorite song that she recognized as her favorite was There She Goes by The Laws. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah.

We played that at her party and then, you. Then we've introduced her to different songs. But one of the greatest things and it was a total surprise, and she's old enough now, like we were doing this just Saturday, driving back because I had to get on the flight Sunday. And we were taking the phone, hooked up to Bluetooth, Spotify, and you pick your own, and she's old enough to kind of figure it out. And like, okay, you're up, Marlo. And she, and we're like, I wonder what she's gonna play. And she's way into fart songs and poop,

songs about poop and stuff. And she played Surfing USA. We're like, all right. All right, yeah. That's pretty cool. God, I haven't even thought about that song in a while. Yeah. That's awesome.

It seems like she went and found it. Yeah. So yeah, she used to love One Step Beyond by Badness. Yeah. Loved it. Yeah. And I'm trying to think of her early. It's kind of fun. You start to think of those songs and you're like,

oh yeah, this does like have some of the quality, even though like I didn't hear it until I was like 28 or whatever. Yeah, yeah. You know, you're like, it does have like the quality of like a chug song in a way. Well, there's things that go like, oh, I bet she'll like this.

And nine out of 10 times I'm right. But then there's like, I thought she'd like Intergalactic by Beastie Boys and she did not care for that at all. That's a big old wall of sound. I can see, but you're like. But is she, there's other walls of sound she likes. She does dig, yeah. But.

Has she seen the video with the robot? That might help sell it. No, but again, this is not about screen and we're driving. And when I drive by myself, if I'm driving up or down or whatever, I listen to mostly sports radio. I'll listen to MLB Network. I'll listen to Fantasy. Are you a Braves fan or are you a New York, yeah, Braves.

No, fuck New York, no. I don't know, you lived there for a long time. I don't know, yeah, but you can't. No, but I'm not, no. Yeah. Neither Yankees nor Mets. No. No. Cool, especially if you're a Braves fan.

And I'm a Braves and Red Sox fan, so very anti- Oh yeah, you're a Red Sox fan, so you could not be less into the New York sports team. The only New York sports team that I follow, that I love, and I've been to a bunch of games, take my daughter to is Liberty. Oh, they're great. Not only are they great, but that is in my,

I mean, 50 years of going to see different sports, sporting events, every single, you know, kind of sport in multiple times, venues all over the world. I mean, going to see a Liberty game is the best vibe ever. The arena experience there is so good. They got like Ellie dancing during timeouts and everything. Oh, I have a picture of my daughter. I took a picture with Ellie. Here, here's my home screen or whatever. That's her. That's us at the Liberty game. Oh, it's, here, here's my home screen or whatever. That's her, that's us at the Liberty game.

Oh, that's great, yeah. And- Sabrina Ionescu, University of Oregon. She went to Oregon, so I've been rooting for her forever. And then, yeah, went to Liberty. And they're such a fun team to watch, and the games are great. And when they're playing another good game, it's great. And when they're on, they're fucking good.

The finals were great. That was like great basketball. I mean, it's, and we, I can walk there. We, Marlo and I walked down there. Oh yeah, cause they're playing Brooklyn. Yeah, they're down the street from us. And it's just the best vibe ever at a sporting game. And I've taken her to Cyclones games,

as a single A, met single A. Baseball game on a Coney Island. Yep. Yeah, yeah. And that's fun too, but it's not the same, you know? I can't wait. My son, like I'm from Portland, huge Trailblazer fan. Portland, Oregon?

Portland, Maine. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're a Trailblazer. Oh, cause they share the same, the city. They share, they play half their games in Oregon, they play half their games in Maine. Oh, I did not know that.

Yeah, that's 100% true, yeah. Oh shit, okay. Yeah. That's why they had to trade Damien Lillard. games in Maine. Oh, I did not know that. Yeah, it's 100% true, yeah. Oh shit, okay. That's why they had to trade Damien Lillard. He was like, no, I'm getting blood clots from these flights, it's enough already. You know? He said, I really enjoy it, but like, please, you have to send me to somewhere in the middle

of the country, so we were like, Wisconsin, you got it. But I can't like, I can't wait to take him to the game. Like, I'm already, he's three months old, and I'm already like, what's the youngest I could realistically bring him? And I figured like three years old, I think then I'll like take him to a game in Portland. Yeah.

It's a really satisfying, also my daughter kind of out of the blue on her own got into, I collect baseball cards in that for a long time. So I have quite a, you know, we're going back 40 years. Yeah. And, and she got into baseball cards. Oh, that's great. So I'll get her like tops series one, series two,

which were the, you know. Does she like, does she like the current players or is she like going back? Are you like, this is, this is like Ken Griffey Jr. No, no. She doesn't have a real appreciation for the players as much as like, I got a special card and this one is rainbow foil

and this one's got a blue border. Oh, the board, right, right, right. She loves the- The tops and the paninis like select. Yeah, I got like a Scoot Henderson like red gem thing for my son. And she got, she pulled a game used, I can't remember who the player was. I think it was Evan Carter.

Oh, cool. Catcher for Texas. And, you know, with a little piece of the uniform, I was like, that's a uniform he wore in a game. She was like, wow. Yeah. You know, touching it. And I was like, that, she's like, is that a sleeve?

Because we have a little penny sleeves. Yeah. That's a sleeve, put it in a sleeve. Oh, that's exciting. Yeah. All right. That's great. Yeah. So Ian, I close every podcast out with a question from my daughter.

Yeah. And I'm going to, okay. All right, Ian Carmel. It's Carmel. I'm not going to hold that against your daughter. Well, it depends on where you're from. Okay. If you're not – all right. That's fair. Okay. Here's your question from my daughter who is seven when she – she's eight and a half, seven when she came up. Why can you not swallow bubblegum if it is a food? I mean, this dates back to something we were discussing earlier, which was when Jesus was

on the cross in his last temptation was the bubblegum. He said, you may chew it of me. You may chew with you may chew with of me. But thou must not partake. Oh, partake meaning ingest. Swallow and digest. Yeah, you may chew with of me. Oh, so it's biblical. Yeah.

It's not a scientific-based thing. No, not at all. Like nothing in the Bible. There's no scientific reason you can't swallow bubblegum. Okay, okay. Yeah. I think that – okay, well, that's good. Yeah. Let's be a Christian scientist, and then there is a scientific reason you can't.

Sure, sure. good. Yeah. Unless you're a Christian scientist and then there is a scientific reason you can't. Sure, sure. Yeah. Yeah. I, well, she knows and we're, obviously, my wife and I are letting her choose whatever to believe, whatever she wants to believe. And she knows that I'm, doesn't know the term atheist, but knows kind of my leanings. But the one thing I do teach her is revelations and we will read revelations at night. It's a bedtime story. I'll read it every night. If you're going to take one chapter. Yeah. It's revelations. Yeah. That's great. That should answer your question.

Yeah. Mentally insane, syphilitic old dude who was dying and they, what do you call it? Not ostracize them, but, you know, send them away. Yeah, banished them. And he was having fever dreams and then wrote this, you got to write this down and teach it to people. So that's what I do. That's good. That's good. It's the New York Liberty. It's Revelations. And it's Rippin Packs. And that's the big three, baby. That's the big three, baby. You got it. Ian, thank you so much.

What a pleasure. This was so much fun. Good, good. Glad you liked it. I really did. I did too. Okay, good. Don't say it like-

The way you said I'm glad you liked it. Well, because I did like it. It's a given. Yeah. If I didn't like it, I would wait until you're gone and then I would say, let's cut this down to like an hour. Yeah. You know, because it was a fun three hours, but if I didn't like it, it's only going to

be an hour long. Okay. Yeah. Because you're going to get to all the stuff we talked about, right? I mean, we talked about like the, my sightseeing. Yeah, the NASA stuff. All the projects you've got, you wanted to plug. Yeah, it's already, I walked everybody through my trip to Italy, stop by stop.

And that was, you're not gonna wanna miss that. All right, you have to go. Okay. Okay. Okay. Sense is Working Over Time is a HeadGum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered

by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchin for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum, visit Headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not gonna do that. Thanks for listening.