Senses Working Overtime with David Cross - Michael Cera

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

Catch all new episodes every Thursday. Watch video episodes here.Guest: Michael CeraSubscribe and Rate Senses Working Overtime on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!Follow David on Instagram and Twitter.Follow the show:Instagram: @sensesworkingovertimepodTikTok: @swopodEditor: Kati SkeltonEngineer: Nicole LyonsExecutive Producer: Emma FoleyAdvertise on Senses Working Overtime via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. I always like to let the guests choose. You can have a chair. I like that. I like that. Chair? Yeah. Great. You're the...

You're the quickest. I would call it seat. Yeah, I would too. You're the first person who like, you know, usually there's having it high and where do you want to go and all that. So, where's the time? Well, I totally... And do you have a hard out, as they say in the end?

You know what? The hard out's gone. Oh, good. I did have a hard out, but the thing got canceled. Okay, good. So, let's go. I could do two, three. I do.

Okay. I got a lot to say. Let's dial it down. do two, three. I do. OK. Let's dial it down. Let's take it back a notch. Nicole, is this too low, or is this all right? OK. Is this your space? Yeah. That's not a camera, is it?

Yeah. Oh, wow. What is that for a camera? Oh, wait. They're all that. There are four. I've never seen those. Three?

Three. I've never seen that shape. Oh, it's just're all that. There are four, three cameras. I've never seen those. Three, three. I've never seen that shape. Oh, it's just a monitor? Oh, you're looking at, yes, I see. That's a different. Well, no, but the camera itself, it looks like a giant like Polaroid or something. You're right, I've never seen one like that.

It's a monitor on the back. Yeah, there's a mini video village that comes with every camera. Really? Yeah. Is that just over here? It's over there. So guys, literally, I mean, Michael lives about a four minute walk from me.

Really? I was gonna text you this morning. Oh, I would have had a whole conversation with like, you know, tell Marlo, you know, get yourself to school. I gotta deal with this. I got something here. So they send a car for people. And I don't get a car.

I think it might have been Hulu sent the car. I don't give a fuck who it was. I mean, he didn't realize. Somebody's sending cars, somebody is sending cars to my guest who lives around the corner for me. I appreciated it. And I'm hooping it to the Barclay Center and sitting there waiting on the queue.

The yellow, okay. Yeah, huge ring. Dude, cute. I can either go see, if I'm in a pinch and I'm really late, then I'll take the C to Fulton and then get up and then get the four, walk over and get the four, which goes to the Union Square. It only makes one stop, it's an express.

And if I got a little time, I want to clear my head, I walk down to Barclay Center, it's 10 minute walk, get down, Q is first train available for something. Can you take it? Is that the only yellow train that goes to bark to Atlantic? I think it's adorable that you call them by their colors. Well, is that what you're teaching Arlo? It's a yellow train.

I mean, isn't that why they give them colors so that we can speak about them in that way? We can group them. I don't think so. I think it's one of the ways to delineate them, but I believe I think it's... You ignore the colors completely. The colors are irrelevant to you. Completely. Not even worth discussing. You know, also there's colorblind people who, you know, what are you supposed to... Well, that's why they give them letters too. Or numbers.

Letters too? I think they give them colors too. I think they give them letters and numbers. They're illiterate people. See there are multiple of each color. That's the thing. No, they're not. Yes, there are. What are you talking about? Well, they're not the same. Well, there are shades.

No, they're not. There's A, C, E, same color. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Q and R, W, same color. I'm not arguing that. One, two, three, same color. I mean, that's why I'm the one who brought up that they were the yellow trains. No, no, no, no.

I'm saying there's different green trains. There's the G is like a light lime green and there's a forest green. That is true. That is true. That is true. I think that is the only one though. Yeah, I think so too. But I'll go as deep on this as we need to. I think we hit the bottom. I'll excavate. I think we break down. And then from Union Square, you just walk here. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I'm sure there's some people

who take a car literally three blocks. Literally three blocks. Well, it's from here. It can be a brutal city. It is tough. It's tough out there. Eight million stories in the city. Now there's more. There's almost nine million stories.

One will be told today. So we're just going to talk and then I've got a question from Marlowe that I got teed up. It's a good one. I'll ask you at the end of the episode. How's Marlowe? She's good. She's good. She'll be seven in two weeks. Two weeks. Two weeks, yeah. Wait, what's her birthday? February 15th.

That's my wife's birthday. Is it really? Yeah. Oh, no kidding. I didn't know they had the same birthday. Do you guys want to share a birthday? Let's do it. Because we've already got a place. We got a place we went last year down in, I don't't know it's like near Bay Ridge, but it's

This great place they just do kids parties and I highly recommend it. Yeah, in fact What are those like two and a half is that? I might be Tiny bit young for it. Yeah, he's probably a bit young But yeah, you got seven yearyear-olds bashing around. Well, it's not even, it's what they have available for the kids. Oh, okay. Have you been to Twinkle?

Yeah, we went. Oh, good. Yeah. Good. That's a good spot. That's great. Did you use the- He didn't, well, we went there for a friend's birthday party.

Mm-hmm. But he, Arlo was kind of, you know, he was a little, and now I think like in the last few weeks, he's kind of like, you know, he's evolved to like be a little more adventurous. Social or even, yeah. Yeah, but like he was, he didn't really do the full thing in there. I was trying to encourage him to get up and all the tunnels and everything and he was kind of- He will.

No, he will. He will. You gotta go back. Yeah, that's a good spot. If for no other reason than the gift I got you was quite expensive. I know. I know, it's just sitting there. We're gonna go.

Okay, it's good. It's a good spot. I mean that, I can't remember if it was Saturdays or Sundays, but that was when Marlton, Just sit in there. We're gonna go. Okay, it's good. It's a good spot. I can't remember if it was Saturdays or Sundays, but that was when Marla was that age, or not, but probably like 3, 4, 5. That was our daddy daughter morning. I could see that. And it's great.

You go, you know, half the adventure is looking for parking and go over there. Why don't you we go train there It's not that convenient really to from where I am It isn't it's just not which train would it even be? Well, you know, it's East Williamsburg. So I know you're kind of you take the G and walk a little walk a lot Or the L and that's paying the ass. What we gotta stop talking about We'll keep this private for a while. I mean subways.

Yes, it is subway. Because it's underground. It's a way to go subterranean way. I never realized that. That's why it's dark? Because it's underground? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, that's why it's... That's why. Yeah. Cool. I like that. Okay. I like that information. All right What are you gonna do with it? Teach my son next time. Yeah, it's dark because it's underground But I heard with twinkle you got twinkle or sparkle twinkle twinkle play space That there are crazy like you got to figure out the right time to go though, right? Yes

well, you have you have limited options because it's mostly play space. That they're crazy. You got to figure out the right time to go though, right? Yes. Well, you have limited options because it's mostly for kids rented out privately. Oh yeah. But they have a free play thing. Yeah, they have free play from, I want to say, 830 to 1030 or something. Free play is an expression that I didn't know three years ago. Was that an American thing? No, it's just like a child, you know.

It's just when you have kids, you learn when there's like free play. Right. You know, hours. Right. The inverse of adult swim. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like, it's our time to shine. Get these kids out of here. Let the grownups have a swim.

Oh man. Do you remember that being a kid? I just flashed on memories of having to get out of the pool and being a little grumpy about it. I can imagine. Don't swim and eventually you're like, I don't know whatever, but when you're a little little and it's like, what?

I remember being resentful when things were prejudiced against your age or size. I don't know Prejudice is the is really the right way to look at it. I Don't think the people made the work, you know, the rules like adults Ageism ageism exactly But there there were I as I got older,

the idea that I couldn't see an R-rated movie until I was, what, 18 or something? It was like the big one that you really wanted to see when you were a kid. Well, I did see him. My mom was very liberal minded. Did she get in? I was in Georgia.

Yeah, if you purchase the ticket, if the adult purchased the ticket, they were, no, no, not PG or PG-13. I believe if an adult, yeah. If the adult purchased the ticket, and they were there and like, this is my son, he's a junior in high school and he, but I approve.

You know, he's watched Salo five times. He can go in and watch fucking. No, I didn't. I didn't know. But my mom was very, you know, artistically minded, culturally minded. And, you know, we all thought it was silly. It's just a silly rule. Yeah. And, you know, we all thought it was silly. It's just a silly rule.

Yeah. And, you know, there's some kids who, I mean, it's all about dumb parents. Although there's some stuff that, like, if you saw it, it could really, you know, change your your neurology for the rest of your life, potentially. In a, maybe a positive way. Better, yeah. Yeah. Well, like seeing something like, I don't know, like a graphically violent, whatever.

But I'm talking about like a 17 year old. Okay, right, yeah. And even- It's not when you were like 12. No, no, but I saw One Flour of the Cuckoo's Nest, I saw Dog Day Afternoon. These are gentle films though. Well, they're very adult concepts. There's not a lot of gore in them,

but they're things that are- They're mature. Yeah, and I saw them when I was like, I guess 15 or something like that, 16? Oh yeah, I was watching, I was obsessed with Clark or Orange when I was 15. Oh, there you go. Yeah.

My girlfriend showed it to me. It was like the cool thing my cool girlfriend showed me that I was in love with Rook Orange when I was 15. Oh, there you go. Yeah. My girlfriend like showed it to me. It was like the cool thing my cool girlfriend showed me that I was in love with. That's very cool. And I was like obsessed with it. Obsessed with it. Did you ever read the book? Yeah, I read the book after that.

I love it in a very, this is a very, even though it's what you wouldn't consider it a Hollywood movie, but it's in the book, he's 15 years old. Oh, right. He's 15 and it makes a huge difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes a, when you picture all that stuff

that's happening with 15 year olds, it makes a massive difference. That's true. And that's where Kubrick was a coward. Yes. And that, and there's a, there are a lot of examples that, like when you see Lelita, the film, you know, that she looks, in the book,

I think she's like 12 or something. I can't remember, she's young, she's really young. And when you see the movie, you're're like it's kind of a young woman A young woman. Yeah, it's not that big a deal. You know like yeah being all coquettish and or bikini or whatever I mean, and But when you read the book you're like Jesus That's why that's what I want to be. Yeah. Oh, it's great. It's amazing love Nabokov right mm-hmm, and you also put me on to the Master and Margarita.

Oh, another amazing book, yeah. Yeah, who wrote it? Uh, Bogokov? Bogokov? I think. Emma? Emma? Google? Google the...

Master and Margarita. Master. You can't remember the title we just sent? Emma, Google, Google. Master and Margarita. Master. You can't remember the title we just said? And Margarita, Bill, the Master of Margarita, Bill, and it's a Russian. So just Google Master of Margarita, Bill, Russian. Type it in Russian, probably. Give me, just Russian, just type in white Russian. Margaritas and white Russians. Seriously, will you tell

me who it was? Yeah, it was Mikhail Bogokov. Bogokov. Ah, got it. Yeah, so none of that was necessary. Nailed it. None of it was necessary. We had already said it.

Yeah, that's right. Did you mean by the way, do you mind if I just like have a totally ADD conversation? Yeah. I don't even know if we were on a We were probably in the middle of saying something but The George Saunders book about all the Russians. Did you not read that? Oh, it's so great It's got me into like I kind of kicked me into reading more like I hadn't really gone into the Russians yet other than that but

What is the book about the Russians hit So George Saunders teaches the course. Is it funny, like dry, or is it about Russian authors? Yeah, he presents, it's seven short stories. Okay. It's like a compressed version of the class that he teaches. Okay. He teaches, I don't know, creative writing or something at Syracuse. And he uses, you know, and these are like seven stories that he always, you know, teaches in the class.

So you read the stories, and then he'll do like an essay on it where he'll kind of- Sorry that he wrote about, no that Russian authors were like, got it. Yeah, you'll read like a couple of check-offs are in there, a couple of Tolstoy's, a Gogol, the nose. And then he'll talk to you about the stories. It's great, I mean.

Oh, it's dead. And it was, oh my God, I'd kind of discovered Tolstoy through that. I'd never read Tolstoy. I have not read any Tolstoy. He's great. I mean, it's so, I'd kind of discovered Tolstoy through that. I'd never read Tolstoy. I have not read any Tolstoy. He's great. I mean, it's so... I've heard his name.

Yeah. It's so not like, you know, I don't know. It's very inviting. It's really fun to read Tolstoy. Yeah, I'm just great. I got way into 19th century Russian literature when I was like in my late teens, early 20s. I mean, that's all I read and I, uh, Gogle, I read. Yeah, yeah. You told me about Gogle, I think.

Oh God, just a genius. Notes from the underground you love, right? All of it. Everything. Everything. I gotta read more of him. And Dead Souls is amazing and one of the, I mean, I get it. It's just tragic, but he wrote a sequel to Dead Souls is right before he died. Wrote a whole sequel to Dead Souls is right before he died

wrote a whole sequel to Dead Souls, which is one of my favorite books and then He was upset with it about life. Whatever and he threw it in fire. Yeah, it's the whole thing in the fire so idiot idiot selfish and Do you think he was like, oh, fuck. Idiot. That was, that was impulsive. Have you read Diary of a Madman? That's him too.

Yeah, very short. That, you read that and you go, oh, that's where Woody Allen was majorly influenced by that. Really? Oh, yeah. Have you read Woody Allen books? Yeah. Yeah.

Post-canceled? Yeah. That's when I was like, let me check this guy out. Yeah. There's something there. Where does all this come from? So if you read, yeah, you read his, like, or, you read his first couple books, well there's Without Feathers and there's first two books Without Feathers and I can't remember but... Emma, Google Woody Allen, Child Molestation, author, Jewish, Israel Gaza, Palestine, Conflagration.

Funny. And funny, funny book. Very funny. Not without feathers, the other one. We should be. Isn't there something with a horse in it? No. No. You mean a short story or the title?

No, what are the titles of the book? Yeah. That doesn't sound familiar. I think when I hear it, I'll go, oh yeah, that one. There's like his first two books are, but you read Diary of a Madman, you know, which predated it by over a hundred years, and you're like, oh, that's where he got clearly influenced. Elaine May, that she's all about the Russians too. She loves them. Great stuff. Yeah. good stuff. Good stuff. Yeah. Comedy, not so great with the... Well, some of them are funny. I mean, like the nose is really funny. Oh yeah, and the overcoat. I meant like stand up. I mean, the only one, let's be honest, Jakob Smirnoff is the only representation of the truth.

You know, great literary, great literary culture and history. Yeah. Good food. Have you ever gone? No, I haven't. I'd love to. Have you?

No. Yeah. I'd love to. Let's go. Okay. Make a trip. Oh. How confusing would that be to our life partners?

Especially now. I think the, I think probably Amber wouldn't get past my referring to her as a life partner. That would take a little bit. She'd be okay eventually, the Russian thing, but still like, what is that about? Why did you say that? Yeah, what's, are you an Est now or what happened? I did a show last night and I, oh, this is not, yeah, never mind. All right.

Yeah. Forget it. Something that tangentially ended up being about Montreal and then, but you're Toronto guy. My mom's from Montreal. What? My mom is from Montreal. So maybe you'd hold some slight interest. Still no.

Okay. Do you remember, we, I don't know, I think you might remember more than I do, but there was a young man, very telegenic, by the name of Carson Daly. And for some reason he had a show. And he had you and Alion when you were young.

Well, yeah, you brought us on. Okay, I brought you guys on. All right, so I was confused about how that worked. So I- Yeah, I have a big memory associated with that. So I went on as the guest, but then I brought you guys out there to observe because I was teaching a class on how to do a talk show.

Yeah, that's right. That was, yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and Allie were very excited to be, asked to be part of it. It was fun. It was fun. I don't think the audience really understood. No, they didn't know who we were.

They didn't know that we were from the same show or anything. And then he would ask me a question and I would ignore him and just turn to you guys and say, see now what he just did is ask me. He's putting me at comfort, he's putting me at my ease. And never really answered. I've been hopeful to do that. But then here's the question.

Cause I remember that, but then I have this much more vague memory of at some point doing something years and years later, going, okay, the joke is now, it took 20 years to tell the joke. And what was that? Do you remember? We did like a talk at the Y, right? Or was it the Y?

Oh, yes. The 90th and the 3Y, yeah. Where I moderated, I interviewed you. Oh, right, of course. That makes sense. Yes, you interviewed. And you were like, what we could do, we could say that you've been a student of mine for years and we could show that clip when you're a child.

And we showed this clip? Yeah. Oh, great. Oh, yeah, that's funny. That was kind of funny. All right. But you know, like what I remember about that night that we did the taping, I was miserable because my girlfriend, my high school girlfriend, Bianca, who introduced me to Clockwork Orange and Weezer Was cheating on me. I don't want to you know humiliate her I'm not that she'll ever see this or care, but it was like a 15 year old thing, you know But I just found out like that day. Oh that I mean that's not I was like in the depths of hell in that moment It's a heavy heavy thing. Yeah, I loved her Yeah, so much. I was obsessed with her. Yeah

unhealthily it was a great like ended up being something I'm really like The way that it kind of calloused, you know for me It was a really good thing because I was unhealthily, you know that like it was such an imbalanced. Yeah, I should ship But um, well, maybe that's why she cheated on you. Yeah. And then kinda like repeatedly- And what is cheating when you're, and how old were you at this point?

I was like 16. What is cheating when you're 16? So she had an ex-boyfriend before me that she was like really crazy about. And you wanna hear the real story, it's like while we were shooting the rest of development, so I was in California for like six months. And while I was there doing the show, you know, six months. And while

I was there doing the show, like we said a sad goodbye, like after this summer together, I was so sad to leave her. But we were like, you know, I love you when we cried and like, we're gonna keep it going, you know, keep the, keep, keep the love. And then my friends, like my best friend, all my best friends from back home were like, Mike, Bianca's making out in the hallway of the school with this other guy very openly. Right. And they all told me this. And I was like, no, or whatever.

And I asked her and she gave me the like, how dare you? How could you believe them and like that? And I was like, I believe you. I'm sorry. I love you. And so I just kind of like, I did a really good like amazing denial. Wow. Like put it in a room and like was like, that's not real.

And then I went home for like the holidays and on New Year's Eve, I was with all my friends and we were having some drinks and stuff. And then like my friends that I've known since I was like five were like my friends. They were like- You're 16. Yeah. And you're having, you're having a cocktail party? Oh yeah.

Yeah. High balls, Manhattan. Yeah, like Malibu, coconut. And then my best friends, you know, they're like, would not lie to me for any reason. They were like, they had to sit with each other like, we're not lying. Yeah. It's real. And then it really was like, I was like faced with it.

And I was like, fuck. And then I like confronted her the next day and she broke out and admitted it. And I held her and I was like Now we're past this you know now it's like out and we can rebuild Did she say she would rebuild was yeah, and it was just like I don't want to deal with this right now So I'll say yes to whatever this guy. I don't know but I think she was like She wasn't evil she was like, she wasn't evil, she was like- No, you're 16 for fuck's sake.

She had like come into her beauty suddenly, you know? She was like, and like three guys, because there were two other guys actually, they were all in love with her. And we all just like saw her and were like, wow, you know, and we're just obsessed with her. I think she kind of was, I mean, the way I've always understood like made sense of it for myself to not,

I don't know, grudge her too much was that she was overwhelmed by that. And- Sure. And did you commiserate with the other guys who- Yes, I mean, that was how I kind of found out was, she was hanging out with this guy, she was posting pictures and everything

on whatever the thing was back then. And I was like, are you and him, that was her ex-boyfriend's best friend. And she had them, she had all of us thinking we were the only boyfriend. See, that's what all the great songs are written about. Yeah, and then I emailed him. I was like, I just gotta ask you,

is there anything more happening with you and her? And he was like, what are you talking about? He was like, she's my girlfriend. Like, what's she been telling you? And I was like, oh no. And then he and I were like faced with the same feeling. Right. Yeah. So anyway, that night, literally the night we did the, I remember because I had dinner with Alia and our moms and I was just like in total despair. But I think that was like a good distraction to go do that that night. But like like yeah, I had no idea. Yeah. Well, that's crazy That's good. Yeah, but it's been a good like, you know, I don't know that was like

Going into other relationships after that like It was kind of a good reference to have to like be crushed in a way in a very brutal way Yeah, and it's it's common and it'll it'll you know Just help you with the next one and that one Yeah helps you with the next one after that and yeah, and if nothing else It allows you when it's the first time it happens It feels like the end of the world and yeah What's wrong with me and I just a million big big big feelings that you haven't felt before

Have you had this? Yeah, I think everybody has and well, I'll tell you mine In a second the first one. But then you potentially have two, three, four of them in your life. And that can become the thing where you're like, why am I attracted to the same thing? I keep finding the same trap. It's more about what I'm taking from this is each one, even though it's really hard because you think you've gotten past, you've learned from your past, and now you're going to get it right, you know what the future looks like beyond that initial depth of despair, that teenage depression, which is huge and you can't dismiss it for anybody.

And when it's your first one, it feels like you're never, you know, I'll never be in love again. I hate, I'm never coming out of my room and da da da da. It takes a while. It takes a while, but then the next time it happens, you have a reference for like, oh wait, I actually got over it. And then the next time it happens after that, you're like, okay, this is awful and I feel terrible and I'm just catatonic. I don't know what to do and I'm depressed and I'm opi, but I know that this is gonna suck for a couple months, but I know there's a better future.

It might be worse for people who've never had it and are in a long relationship, a big relationship, and it happens to that one. Some say it's better to have loved and never loved. I noticed you're doing, what's that voice you're doing? What voice? Oh, you And never- I noticed you're doing- What's that voice you're doing? What voice? What voice?

Oh, you just slipped into your real voice. Yes. It's- I got you there. Better to love. And wait. Emma. Google love-

Better to have loved once. Do you do voices at home lost and my My blazing just something I was sort of you know riffing in the car with Marlo now She makes me do it. She's like do the voice and then I Don't know where it was like You're like doing Eric idleidle sort of without the English part. It's not English.

It's just like a long kind of a New Yorkie version of down tell me what to do. And then she's like, she'll copy me. Down tell me what to do. Down tell me what to do. No, I'm telling you not to what not to do. No, I'm telling you what not to do. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm do. No, I'm telling you what not to do.

That's what I'm saying. You can do that for 40 minutes. No, that's what I'm saying. We go on and on. Hey guys, do you ever feel like money is just flying out of your account and you have no idea where it's going? Well, I know. It's all those subscriptions.

Think about it. Between streaming services, fitness apps, delivery services, parenting apps, it's endless. I'm guilty of this. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps to lower your bills. You can see all of your subscriptions in one place, and if you see something you don't want, cancel it with a tap. You never have to get on the phone with customer service. They'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple of months of wasted money and

negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20%. All you have to do is take a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. Rocket Money has over 5 million users or one user who's used it 5 million times. Not sure. But it's helped save its members an average of $720 a year with over 500 million in canceled subscriptions. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash senses. That's rocketmoney.com slash senses. Rocketmoney.com slash senses. Well we did this. Oh god it was awesome. Except she always makes me do it. But God, what was it? I was, I was on the, again, we were driving,

my wife was driving, Marlo's in the backseat, and I was, I pretended to be on the, it was something. I can't remember how we got into it, but I was on the phone and I was pretending, I was like, yeah, my daughter, oh, she had a box of, you know those boxes of water, like generic white, just as water on them or whatever. And so she had this box of water and in her cup holder of the booster seat. And she spilled a little bit

and she was kind of distressed about it and over the top way. And I was like, yes, I just wanted to call. It's not an emergency, but my daughter spilled, she was drinking a box of water and she spilled some water on her and that, no, a box. Yes, a box of water. Yes, and the, no, a box. A box of water. Of water. A box. Yes, a box of water. Yes, yes, exactly.

Exactly. Anyway, so she spilled some on her dress and it's the sparkly dress with the utic... No, a box. A box. No, not socks. That makes no sense. So socks of water? No, anyway. So, yes. Exactly. Yes, yes. So anyway, again, not an emergency, but no, a box. A box of water. A box of water. And I just did it forever.

Was it making her laugh? Yes. And it totally got her off of water. And I just did it forever. Was it making her laugh? Yes, and it totally got her off of that. Oh good. And then she's like, tell them, tell them are they being silly with you? It's like, hey, are you being silly with me? You mess with me?

Yeah. What? And now she makes me do that. So, like, Bob came over, Bob Odenkirk, who's Uncle Bob to her. And she's like, dude, Uncle Bob, dude, Uncle Bob. And I was like, okay, you have to say daddy, you've got a phone call and I'll do it. And so I just did it.

She's laughing hysterically. It's not that funny at first. It's funny. And then she's just, yeah, so. It's not that funny at first. It's funny. And then she's just, yeah. So... That's great. Sometimes I'll try and do that like if Arlo's feeling upset about something, try and get out of it with like a jokey thing. And sometimes it can have the absolute opposite effect. Oh, yes. Right? Yeah. Where he resents that you're trying to melt the... Absolutely. Yep. and you're making light of the situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Ah! Yeah, being serious, you're not letting, you know. It's a thing that kids have. I had it on the, when I was walking to, walking Marlowe to school this morning, and she's, she asked me lots and lots and lots and lots of questions about Donald Trump and just knows him as a-

Cause you know a lot about him. Yeah, I'm his biographer. Test your knowledge. And, you know, I'm working on a two-part biography of him. And where did Donald go to school? But she just knows him as the personification of bad, right? And I think she's getting that from, you know, little from me and from my wife and school and classmates.

I just, it's, to her, he represents- He's like a Disney character. I mean, it's not, it's understandable. I mean, he's cartoonish and the things he's done are over the top and, you know, he is, he's cartoonish and the things he's done are over the top and you know, he is, he's cartoon villain but you know, she's processing it as a six-year-old and learning about the world and learning about what's beyond our neighborhood in Brooklyn and the United States to a much lesser degree but starting to learn that stuff.

And... Oh yeah. Have you traveled? You've brought her to see your family. I'm in the middle of a story. I know. I was just adding color to it. Do you...

What is that? Has she gone to the south with you and experienced that whole... Oh, she doesn't know the south. You don't get into like... The south I grew up in. No, no, no, no. She will. We picked out a boarding school. It's not a boarding school. It's a kennel, but whatever they do, like long, you know, you can stretch. Yeah, they can do like three months. It's out in the country. They get fresh air.

Let me get that from you. Get some kibble. No, she, yeah, we go, I mean, she's been to Atlanta like, I don't know. But when you're a kid, you're not like, you're not, you're not like me. No, and she's just, you know, my sister-in-sister-in-law and my mom are, I mean, she's just surrounded by love and- Yeah, that's all it is. And there's, you know, and, you know, my sister-in-sister-in-law just fucking adore her and pamper her and she loves them and they'll come up and babysit too. Amber and I have to go somewhere, but, you know, they can't have kids because they're gay. legally, I mean morally. Morally, they shouldn't be having kids. And you know, we'll sneak her in under the cover of night and make sure we black out the windows. Because of the agenda. There's a whole agenda and they're part of it, you know. And my sister of the two partners, my sister's Jewish.

So, I mean, they're like running everything. You're gonna cut all this part out, right? No, no, this goes out there. Yeah, I mean, this is timed much like that brilliant sequence in Silence of the Lambs where this will be on one half of the screen and the other half of the screen will be the SWAT team going in to... To the wrong house. To the wrong house, yeah. To a lovely Southern Baptist couple with three kids and... That you're swatting. Yeah.

God, that's a brilliant sequence. Yeah, I just that's like such a language. Yeah It's such a reference and never saw it coming. You know, it's just such a fucking good such a punch in the gut So cool. Yeah, I met Jonathan Demi at Sundance with Neil Young. Wow. Yeah, but you were he was with new He was there with Neil young and and this was amazing. I mean, I love Neil Young. I don't know where you stand on him. But I was there in like, you know, when you're at Sunday, they have like, they have like these like photo rooms.

You have to, you know, you get ushered all around. You have to go take like the entertainably, cast photo, you know. So you're in a kind of like a room like that. There's like a lot of kind of holding areas. And there was some room off to the side with the door closed. And somebody said like, Jonathan Demme and Neil Young are in there doing an interview and I and they're gonna come out in a minute

And I didn't even know they were at Sundance. I didn't know I would ever be in the same place as Neil Young Mm-hmm, and I was I was freaking out I was like oh my god and some guy that was there was like you a fan of Neil And I was like yeah, he's like I've been with him 30 years, I'm his, whatever. You know, you want to meet him? Who was it? He was like his roadie or some guy that traveled with him. I know that guy.

Yeah, yeah. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. And he, when they came out, well, the thing is, so Jonathan is kind of aware of me because we're both friends with Miguel Artella. And so Jonathan kind of came up and very warmly, like said hi to me. And that was a perfect in for Neil.

And then I got to meet Neil. It was, I had a little moment with Neil. Incredible. Did you say like, I love your early work. I love 13 year songs so much. No, he's huge for me, you know? I have your, I can't remember what it is. I have one of your albums on shuffle. It's he's huge for me, you know. I have your, I have, I can't remember what it is. I have one of your albums on shuffle. It's you, you're walking, you're like, you

have a guitar? You're way younger. I think you're sad about something. Vocally, it's not great, but it's interesting. No, my father-in-law is, and mother-in-law are close friends with him. What? Yeah. No. Yes, for real.

What's that about? They were all part of the same thing. My father-in-law... You're kidding. No, I'm not kidding. What's the story? What? They...

What's the story? The story... Part of what thing? Like what? Hanging out in California? Yeah. Hanging out to Panga Canyon. They go over to his house?

Yes. No. Yes. They're all my wife's. That's really cool. An old childhood friend of my wife, such as she's still in touch with, is his daughter, I think Bonnie Jean,

I think is her name or something like that. Wow. Yeah. That's cool. So Amber was around Neil. All the time. Amber grew up in a, I mean, at a very artistic. Yeah.

It's so normal to her to be around people like this. Yeah, I mean. It's so removed from me, like what you could be like. Oh, for me too. That your parents, her friends' parent is Neil. Yeah, well, Russ, my father-in-law, choreographed his, what was the musical he did that he toured with?

Nuclear. With the live rust? No, no, no, it's like a musical, Greendale. Greendale, yeah, yeah. So he... Oh, I just made a connection to Community. What? Greendale, do you think that is part of it?

Greendale College. Oh, you think? Maybe. I'm wondering, I don't know. Maybe. I'm a huge community fan. Little nod? Yeah.

I'm nod to Neil. I'd like that. So, yeah, he, Cory Agerafton was in Greendale and then they toured all over the country. Whoa. And yeah, he was in a movie that he... A Neiliels movie? Yeah, nuclear, something. No, human highway?

Human highway. Yeah, he's in that. Yeah, Russ is in that. Oh, cool. And then all that collective community of artists and actors and poets and all that stuff, Dean Stockwell and Dennis Hopper, and those were people that were like at Amber's house,

not house, apartment. Yeah, she grew up with all that stuff And of course a bunch of the West Side Story guys and Wild yeah, oh Well Russ has some amazing stories. They're awesome. What can have him on here? I could easily Well, he's got a book coming out. He he had been working on for years tell some a tell some and But I just know the stories from just yeah hanging out with him and there's a great one there's There's a couple. I you know, I won't spoil any of them, but

I won't spoil any of them, but I'll just say, I don't even know what he's writing, but there's a reason, there's an actress on Seven Brides or Seven Brothers who always smelled. And the reason for why she smelled is like what? You're kidding me, nope. And then there's another story. There was like some actress he met and dude was a player too. It was a day, you know, and there was some like on the beach in Santa Monica, there are like around Ocean Park-ish,

there are, there's a couple of high rises that are like from the 60s, kind of on the beach. And there was some woman that he was, you know, going after whatever, he ended up climbing, cause you know, he's like a dancer, acrobat guy. He ended up climbing, scaling seven, seven stories to get into her place from the. Because she wouldn't take him in through the main door?

I don't remember what the thing is. No, she wasn't trying to keep him out. I think maybe there was somebody else involved. Invaded her home? No, he didn't know. It wasn't about that. But I think he was trying to impress her too. And like, surprise, you know.

Surprise. Whatever he's on like the balcony of the seventh floor. That is a surprise. And there's no way, there's no fire escapes or anything like that. Anyway, he's got a bunch of Elvis Presley. He's got stories about Elvis. That's crazy.

Wow. And look, I'll say, Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to me. Motherfucker was racist, straight up in plane, Motherfuck him and John Wayne. Okay, that's cool. I like that. Wow. You put that to a kind of like a clear delune kind of melody. It might be interesting.

Was Elvis racist? Yeah. Or is it just like the rhyme of it? No, he was racist in that, you know, I know two kinds of racism very well. One is the Southern racism and one is the Boston racism. And the Southern, I don't know which one's more insidious. The Boston racism is in your face, they'll just say it. And the Southern is just more like... You know, some people want to be slaves and it should be slaves.

And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm sorry, but there's nothing wrong. If somebody wants to be a slave, then be a slave. That's the kind of- I'm quoting from Sherman's March, just so you know. Oh, it is? Yeah. Have you seen the movie?

Yeah, but not in a while. Oh, dude, that's top 10 of all time. I owe that to rewatch, yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna rewatch that. Top 10 of all time. That's the same kind of racism I grew up with. Yeah. Yeah. The gentle one.

The gentile kind of... Behind closed doors racism. Well, they're... It's just... Not even behind closed... The hatred is behind closed doors, but the... The idea in the truest sense of racism that my race is superior to yours and yours is inferior for different ways.

It's just all kind of sweetly like- Normalized. I mean, I just think she's a good waitress. You know, and she's just stick with what she's good at and don't try to- Right. Yeah, it's trying to- Like a benevolent oppression. to, benevolent oppression.

Yes, benevolent oppression. That's nice. Yeah. My friend's mom when I was growing up, actually, no, it was when I was like, growing up and went back home and visited my friend and I was sitting in the kitchen with his mom while he was upstairs.

And she started saying some insane shit to me. Like, about her dog that her dog, when she got out, I mean, I don't wanna repeat the words she used, but basically she was telling me that her dog hated people with brown skin. And would bark at them specifically when the dog got out. Yeah. But she was telling me like, she knows,

she knows when someone's good. She knows. And I'm just like, I don't know. You know. Yeah. The, what's equally as shocking is the comfort with which people will share that. Yeah, and I'm just like, oh God, you know.

Cause you're faced with like, do I, you know, what do I do right now? Fuck you and trash the kitchen and leave? No, I think- Or you just go- I think the appropriate response, no, neither is go, wait, your dog's racist? Yeah. Your dog is racist. Where did your dog learn to be racist?

Have you considered having your put down? Because you're not born with racism, right? Yeah. You have to learn it. So where did your dog- That's how you would hand, that's why I would love if you were there. Okay, we'll go back. Do you remember when we saw,

There Will Be Blood? Yes. And I thought we were gonna get our asses kicked. I know what you're talking about. I thought we were gonna get our asses kicked. That was a treat for us. We were just like, yeah, we were in treat for it. Oh my God.

It was like the daytime. During the week, yeah, there were like two guys, it was just us and two other guys sitting like five rows behind us talking the whole time. Yeah. And you were like, you ramped up because you were like, guys? Well, that was 15, you know,

by the time I turned and said anything, it's just, it was like a good 15 minutes like, you started with it, guys, please. Yeah. But it got to like What the fuck is you know, are you fucking stupid? You've never been to a movie before shut the fuck you know Yeah, I really expected like Fisty cuffs in the back of our heads. I was just like

Here we go. Here we go. I mean that quiet actually they did get finally got quiet Talking during that whole like opening half hour of silence. They just had their commentary through the whole. But also they're just having a conversation. No, why? It was even, it was less of the why is he doing that? That just like, you know, and like making statements. Like, man, you know, no one's talking that much in this one.

Yeah, I guess it's kind of a Western. Like, you're at a theater, you're not at home. Jesus Christ, that was amazing. I'm not like that normally, but that was enough. Yeah, and we were so excited to see it. Yeah, it was great movie. There will be blood, be quiet. And there was, again, it's not like I started with,

you know, no, shut the fuck up. No, you didn't start, no, no, I got there. Yeah. Oh man, I just remember, I had a memory, I don't know if you were there, but the other thing that happened in Shreveport that where I thought someone was gonna kick my ass was maybe you were, no, I don't think you were there,

but anyway, a small handful of us went to dinner and you know, Jeremy Conner, yeah, who was working with Jack was there and it was like a small group of us. And so this was like 2008 and I had been in super bad, came out like the year before or so, it was kind of like very fresh. And what happened was I think like my, you know, afterwards you could like the year before or so. So it's kind of like very fresh. And what happened was I think like my, you know, afterwards you could like the post moment analysis of it was like, some of the staff recognized me and there was Arwaiter, didn't know who I was, but he was just like feeding off and they were like,

oh my gosh, the guy's like, which way, you know, and they were like, ask him, ask him if he's the guy from Superbed. And so he came over to the table, our waiter, and he looks at Jeremy. And he's like, aren't you in that movie? Aren't you in, I recognize you, and Jeremy's like, no, no, he's like, you are, you are, you are, I know, I recognize you. And it was really uncomfortable,

and I handled it badly, I think, and I was like, because I said, you know, because we were at the table, we were like, and I was like, have you seen the movie? And I think I shouldn't have said that, because he really got very defensive. Right, because he hadn't seen the movie. And then he turned on me. He was like, yeah, I the movie? And I think I shouldn't have said that because he really got very defensive. Right, because he hadn't seen the movie. And then he turned on me. He was like, yeah, I've seen it.

What's your fucking problem? Yeah, I've seen it. What do you mean? What's your fucking problem? This is your waiter. Yeah. Okay. No, because I think he had like a hot flash in that moment because he had, he was like

exposed. Yeah. And it was just great. Well, but that's also not the way, I mean, that's one way to handle it, I guess. But it got intense. So what happened when he realized? I think maybe he went back, I think he was back there and they were telling him and he was like red. But I want to know what happened the next time he came to the table. I don't really remember. I think it was awful for all of us.

I think all of us at the table were pretty upset. Oh, I would have loved that. Because he had been kind of accidentally humiliated too. Not in an accident. Well Which I didn't want that. I didn't want to create such a toxic situation. You didn't. No, but my impulse was a little bit to like, oh, Michael, this isn't on you, the guy. To poke him a little, you know, poke at his false prep, you know, poke at his like, you

know. There's nothing wrong with that guy came over on he was standing on the Once you go into like no no no you were in it come on now you're just inviting every day Yeah, I mean if they go really okay, and uh, I thought oh my bad or whatever but to go no you're lying to me They like oh am I Yeah, have you seen the movie there was another time in that same entry port where some guy was like're lying to me. They're like, oh, am I? Yeah. Have you seen the movie? There was another time in that same entry port where some guy came up to me, I was sitting in the lobby, he was like, it was two guys.

They were like, hey, can I get an autograph? So I signed the first one with my name. And the guy was like, you're the guy from Superbad, right? And I was like, yeah, he's like, can you give me an autograph? And I wrote the guy from Superbad. And then they left. And then the first guy who came signed my name, he's like, can you write the guy from superbad?

Oh God. Oh God. I think I was like really having a lot of weird moments with just handling that level of interaction with people. Well, you kind of skyrocketed. You had a very quick, well, there's look, there's different ways of handling it badly. I would not say you handled it badly.

I know there are many people we're aware of who handle it badly. But there are some friends, I have a couple of close friends that I was hanging out with at that time and who I trust very much. And one of my friends is like, yeah, you were handling it badly. Yeah. It was like I was with you a handful of times

where the situation would get really uncomfortable Yeah, you were handling it badly. Yeah. You know, it was like I was with you a handful of times where like, the situation would get really uncomfortable just because you were like on fire when someone came out, you know, like, which I remember. Yeah. I just was like so anxious. I get it. I understand. I was not good at all. And I. You know, awkward. Really? Oh, awkward.

Really? Oh, very. I don't like, that's such the opposite image that I have of you. I feel like. When I, up until, you know, fairly recently, and it was something I had to get better at because I overcompensated, and I was just a weirdo. And often I would drink too much. because I overcompensated and I was just a weirdo.

And often I would drink too much. Like whenever we went, like I hated going to the Emmys and the gold glows and all those things. And I would drink too much. Why did you hate those so much? I wasn't comfortable and I'm usually pretty comfortable in most situations unless I think there's imminent danger. I think part of my discomfort was I had a reason, the same reason everybody might have for disliking the environment and what it was.

It's very anti-you. might have for disliking the environment and what it was. But also the- It's very anti-you. And also the inherent hypocrisy within me because I kinda like this is kind of interesting. Even though I didn't like it, I did like it. And it felt kinda good that we were nominated a little. Especially when we were like any crumbs of- Well, for that show.

Positivity for the show at that time. Like being nominated for a thing was like a savior for the show, really saved the show. Oh, for that show. Positivity for the show at that time. Like being a nominator for a thing was like a savior for the show. Really saved the show. Oh, for sure. We went ahead a third season without the semis. Or even a second probably, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So that felt kind of good. And then I remember meeting people at the, cause that was where you finally kind of met people who were watching the show. Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally came up to me and Allia, the Golden Globes. The first time we were there, you know, when the show was just starting and they were like really effusive. It felt really good. Yeah, yeah. Some people are watching.

I just didn't handle that well. I didn't handle compliments well for a long, long time. And we did, we did Mr. Show. We did a Mr. Show tour. It was the very first one. I remember that we had a bus and gosh, I know, Pussain and it was the first one. I remember- After the show's done, huh? After the show's done. I remember being in Seattle and I could not, I just did deal with it well.

And I would run, I ran back to the bus and hidden the bus. After the performance. After the show. You didn't wanna hang out. No, I didn't wanna hang out. And I think part of it was like, oh my God, everybody's gonna try to get me high and I will get high and then it's gonna be worse and I just wanna.

That's really a good instinct to avoid. But I'm like, so on the last tour, I did something that's that that if you would told me 10 years ago I would do I would have laughed you you know out of the room but I did VIP meet and greets. Really? Which is to be able to get it's almost like a like a 12-step program were like, that's the final thing is you have to have, you have to go with all your- I'm impressed.

And these are like hardcore fans. Wow. You know, the ones that really make me or did make me uncomfortable, but I learned how to, I like, it was a longer process, but I'm, and I'm fine with it now. I'm really good, but man.

How did they go? Good. Yeah. But there's. What happens? Like they... There's a... First there's a meat, then there's a greek. And...

What's different about those two? The meat is usually... First and then meat? I think meeting is inherent in the greeting. So you can... That's true. Meat and not greek. But if you greek, you've kind of had a meet.

That's true, yeah. That's very true. So maybe they should say it's a meet with greet. That's what I'll call it next time. I think we should site for that. And there's a VIP ticket, and you get this and this and this, you get a, you know. You'll get some swag, and you'll get a meet with greet.

That's delicious. You know, you'll get some swag and you'll get a meat with Greek. Delicious. And, you know, there'd be like anywhere from, you know, I think there were a handful that didn't have that many people, which was kind of good and weird at the same time. But mostly it was like 50. I topped out at 50. It was like 50. Wow. And at 50. It was like 50. And, you know, I met everyone. I went, made sure I got pictures and then I would come out, you know, everybody be at this predetermined place in the theater and I'd come out with

a bottle of tequila and we'd have shot glasses ready to go. Oh, you make it a hang. Oh, totally. And I had, from the get-go, I had people either who had done a bunch of those, but mostly theater managers and people who worked going, man, nobody's ever done this. We had blah, blah in here. I won't say names, but that guy was just like kind of sour and just, all right, everybody take a picture, line up. Cause people would start saying, we do it. And then the people would say,

and this isn't anything bad on them. This is just what they know to do going, all right, everybody line up, you got one minute to, I was like, no, no, no, that's not what we're gonna do. We're gonna have a shot. I'm gonna talk to everybody and it was good. I think everybody came away happy. And there's always though, literally every,

and you interrupt myself for one second. The more than half the time there were, cause my audience has aged with me, you know, it's expanded. There's still younger people going, but you know, there's a lot of people in their, you know, 40s, 50s that are at the shows. And but they'll bring their kids. That happened a lot in the backstage, you know, they so this is great.

Oh, it's great. I love that. I mean, anywhere from like, you know, 14, 19, whatever they're like, and it's great. I love that. I mean anywhere from like, you know, 1419 whatever they're like, and it's awesome and They're like they're right in it. They're watching. Yeah, and they're and they're I mean, can you imagine your parents bringing you do a Comic like me doing my show when you're 15 years old. That's a nice relationship. Yeah, it's great. That's really cool It's very cool and a bunch of trans kids too, and you know their parents bring them and it's great. That's really cool. It's very cool and a bunch of trans kids too and you know their parents bring them and Yeah, it was really cool, but Literally at every meet and greet no matter how many people there were and I mean every 100% of them. I did

probably Something like close to 80 shows and I'd say I probably had like 65 of these meet and greet things 80 shows and I'd say I probably had like 65 of these meet and greet things. Every single one, there's always one person, mostly guys, but occasionally women who were so odd and weird and then had this a variation of the same kind of like vibe of like, you know, these guys are, they think they're fans, but I'm a real fan, you know. I got, you know, these guys are, they think they're fans, but I'm a real fan, you know? I got, you know, and like trying to kind of corner me, you know, these, you know, kind of like-

I'm one you really want to talk to. Yeah, deriding some of the other people who are like, I loved you on whatever, like, and you know, always, there's always one person who had that vibe of like, these guys don't catch you, I'll catch you. Wow. Oh, okay'll catch you. Wow. Oh, okay. Thank you.

Wow. And you would normally exchange numbers with them and hang out with them for an extended period. Yeah, I'm meeting them up the M&M store in Times Square. We're all gonna do, go on a little tour that I arranged. Yeah, flew out here. Fascinating. Yeah.

You know what I'm fascinated by that sort of tent, like somehow connected to that is the people who are collecting autographs. This is a bit of a leap, but I was just talking to a friend of mine who got a lot of insight into how they operate. Like the people that'll meet you at the airport and collect your autograph. Without saying too much, my friend was like, what's the business model for you guys? And broke it down.

They were like, this is what we do. You know, we blah, blah, blah, we get a guy to do this. We'll pay him this for that. My friend was like, why don't we cut out the middleman? You just pay me cash for this. And has an arrangement with them. When you are out? For thousands of dollars, not me.

No, no, no, for him, for him. Oh, this is a celebrity. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah. Oh, I have to know who it is. I'll tell you, I'll tell you. But, um, Oh, you're gonna tell me off the record? Yeah, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna put him on.

That is smart and also weird at the same time. He's only done it like, I think, but he's made some real cash that way. Real cash. So he says, hey, he tells this guy, I'm gonna be wherever city. I'm gonna be in Denver, I'm flying in on. No, I think basically they like arrange a meeting

specifically one day. Like I'm gonna be in town or. No, like why don't we, we'll meet at this spot. You bring like a bunch of stuff in your trunk. I'll sign like, you know, 100 things. Oh, and then. And you give me like, you know, like a lot of money. Wow.

Yeah. And I was like, wow. That is smart. You capped into it. I mean, it's smart because someone's like, if it's a business and if you're a big part of what's generating the value of it. Well, I learned on this tour. I mean, I would never do this.

You know about the blue Sharpie, right? No. Okay, I learned this on the tour. So sometimes, not all the time, sometimes it's quite easy to tell who doesn't know a thing about you and is just coming over with a shit. Yeah.

But sometimes you can't tell. You can't tell if is that a real fan or is it not. You don't want to diss the real fans. But if they have a blue Sharpie, I can't remember exactly what it is, but they use the blue one because that, it's something to do with when they copy it or something in the reselling of it on eBay or whatever. It's worth more. It's worth more.

Well, it's more valid or something. The other colors of black or silver or gold don't do this thing that the blue does where it remains on. I can't remember the exact thing. If you see the blue Sharpie, that means That's a sales. That's a sales thing. And so my tour manager who's super savvy of all that stuff,

turn me on to that and he's like, take this black Sharpie and say, somebody comes up with, and literally. Cause a black one is far inferior to the blue. Again, it's not about the color or something. No, no, for whatever their resale thing. Yeah, it has something to do with the the last thing or something, I don't know.

But so I would have a, I'd have a, you know, if I saw the things and I always like do kind of the thing you did at the restaurant, like, oh, what's your favorite thing I've done? And as I'm getting ready to sign, and I'll bring out the black sharpie. Oh, I have this one if you could use it. Oh no, this is my lucky, this is my lucky sharpie.

And they're like, oh, they'll push for the blue? Oh yeah, really? Yeah, and then if I have the blue one and they've got like, I've been on some baseball cards, so I'll get big sheets of those because they're small and you can put like eight of them on the little kind of poster board size thing. And they'll have, you know, could you do this and this

and this and just one more and just one more and then this one and this and just one more and just one more and then this one and this and just one more David thing and then and then I Will either use my left hand to sign which is just like a gobbledygook. Yeah, like a child with MS and Wow, and then Or I just signed it's the same value isn't it? I mean, I don't I would I don't know I mean, it's just clearly not my autograph right and then I or I would write Danny Danny Crom or like I just all that stuff just you know Dennis and they're looking they watched you and they're like great

Thanks, and they're like, you know DD guy, you know whatever other people who when you won't take the blue Are like never mind and they just disappear? Uh, I don't know if anybody said never mind, but they're clearly not happy. They're pushing the blue. They're pushing the blue. You know what, there was one time I was like, confronted by like a TMZ camera person at LAX, you know?

Oh yeah. And it was, I think it was right around election time or something. It was probably like Obama's second term or something. And, you know, they're like waiting, when you're like, wait, you kind of cornered because you're like waiting for your bag or you're waiting for your car. And they had the camera in my face, they were like, Michael, who do you like in the election? Who do you want to vote for or whatever? And my like, my survival instinct in that moment, I never would have thought of it. Did I tell you this? No. I never would have like thought of this intellectually, but my instinct in that moment was to just like talk, but very quietly. I was like,

well, you know, and there's traffic going by and I was like, I was like, it depends. I love it. So I don't really put it, whatever. But the guy was just like, all right. And it was like just unusable. Yeah, I can. Because they're gonna take it back and be like, now we can't hear what he's saying. It's annoying. Oh, that's great.

So this can't go out. Yeah. That's great. This is just useless footage. Bob has an anecdote about talking to the autograph guys and collectors and what he said, an anecdote about talking to the autograph guys and say, you know, collectors and what he said, what are you, it's basically, what can you get for this?

And the guys like, oh, I don't sell them, we trade them with other people. And he goes, oh, what would you trade this for? He goes, you know, if I could get like, trade three of these for a Rob Schneider. Three Bob Odin Kurds for a Rob Schneider. That's really exciting. Oh my God, that's a humbling moment.

So Michael, there's so much more we, I want to talk about. Yeah. And I want to talk about the thing that Jason said about you on the podcast when he did it when I was in LA. Jason said something? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, what did he say? Is it real? Yeah. Oh. I don't know if we cut it out. It was something that I think is meant to be a compliment, but was not.

But didn't read that way. It didn't sound like a compliment. Oh, God. But didn't read that way. It didn't sound like a compliment. Oh, God. But I think we cut it out because the Jason one is aired and we thought, that's not. Oh, my God. So, but also I wanted to tell the story about the impromptu, but one of the greatest nights

of my life, completely impromptu that started in the afternoon when I ran into Dmitri. Yeah, we have to tell that. Cause that's a great story. From your, from, well, it was, were you going out with Charlene? Yeah, Charlene set it all up. Yeah, well, she set the Dmitri thing. And then it got out of her control. And then John Benjamin and I ran into I know to Dimitri at that was the best thing that could have happened

And we're like, okay, we got it from here. It was fantastic because that was just like one little thing Yeah, we were supposed to be that because I was going to work that day, too We went into the late evening and we'll tell that story That's an involved story and we can talk about Charlene and all that stuff. In the next episode, Michael Cero will do a part two. Are we out of time? Yes, we are out of time. OK.

But I can't believe you just set that up. Oh, yeah. No, I'm going to ensure a second appearance. But let me get you the question from Marlowe. I like this one. This is a new one. And I was like, I'm gonna ask Michael that. Okay, Michael, Sarah, this is the question from Marlowe. Hi, Marlowe.

Where is the tickly spot on a brown bear? Oh my God. I have been like staying up late last week and you know, because like my son, I get my son to put him in bed and I don't know why David, but there's some weird thing is like been clicking into me in the last week where I like, I got down a rabbit hole on YouTube of watching bear videos and Like bears are incredible, you know, and there's there's crazy videos nothing too, you know or a graphic. Yeah, but like a bear You know eating a deer

And I'm just kind of sitting you know, it's like you watch that for hours. Yeah It's like midnight. You watch that for hours. Yeah. Repeatedly on a loop. So my respect for bears right now, not just gory stuff, but just them even like, I like when bears get scared. It's very cute, you know? If you'll see like a bear and then a hunter will kind of do a blast in the air and the

bear's kind of like, you know, the way they, they're very human and a weird, you know, there's like, you can really recognize their emotions. So I would not go near a brown bear or tickle one. I think that's a bad move. But they're also so cute. If you're one of those guys who has a thing with bears, where you keep bears and you're close with them and you're physically close, it does look like a nice thing to have even though you'll probably take a look at it. But do you know where the tickly spot is on the ground? I would go for the underarms. Oh yeah.

I would go here. I would go right here and I would get them like that. And do you think they'd go? All that bulk. It must feel great to do that shake of bears muscle bulk. Yeah. So. And I don't know why it was specifically about brown bears, because she knows the difference between because we have black bears

in the state. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, we've told her there's a big difference, you know. There is, there is, yeah. Yeah, and I've encouraged her to go up and know you haven't. Yeah, talk to a brown bear and introduce yourself. Cover your mouth if you're gonna cough though, please. That's a good question. Have you seen the movie, the documentary, Canadian man, the bear? Grizzly man? No, not Grizzly Man. That's a Canadian man? It's a Canadian guy who's trying to invent the perfect bear suit. Oh yeah, I know about that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he builds this crazy suit.

It's awesome. I haven't seen the film yet. The documentary is fucking great. Oh, I know about that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He builds this crazy suit. It's awesome. I haven't seen the film. He's fucking great. Oh, I got to see that. It's great because he it's great because he's great. He's just this singularly focused guy who is determined to build from scratch. You know, he's just he doesn't have a lot of money. He's sold in like rural suburb and and I'm not sure where in Canada and a tank you can wear basically right well he started he has to go back to the drawing board numerous times and

iterations of it and when he tests it and it's all like on a you know beta max camera whatever and he's a log in him like a full tree at him right and that's one of the tests where he stands there a log in him like a full tree at him right and that's one of the tests where he stands there. Knock him on the desk. And they get a log that's you know. How could that not hurt you? Well he's. You must feel that.

I think that's why he went to the drawing back to drawing board on the fourth time or whatever. Break a few ribs. But the last the last the visual of the last like 90 seconds in that movie is so... Oh yeah? Oh. Which is he can, does he have it? Oh, okay, I got to see it. He gets his suit.

Yeah. And I won't spoil it. It's just, it's so... What's it called? Uh... Emma? Seriously, will you look that up Emma? The Canadian bearer guy. It's like, I want to say late 90s or Leots.

You know what, before we finished, there's one story I wanted to tell because I was thinking of you were going to ask me something to do with senses and I was remembering this one thing when we were in Sweden. I wonder if you remember, but it's kind of a funny story because like, you and me and Alia were getting a beer like in the afternoon in some big square in Stockholm. Oh yes, yes. You remember?

Oh wait, wait a minute. This was... Did you trip the one up the stairs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause we were, it's like a big square. It's a very kind of famous. You see it in pictures. Yeah, whatever it was.

It's a beautiful place. Beautiful, yeah. And we were sitting there at some kind of beer garden or something. And then when we get up to go, the thing was that we had like a table that had this kind of ironworks on the side, like legs here. And I got tangled in it, like on the way out. And I knew I was going to fall. It was like unavoidable.

And it was kind of like wood deck. Yeah. And because I knew I was gonna fall, like a millisecond decision, not thinking decision was to like, I was like, this is gonna be embarrassing. And the only way to like save faces is like make it worse. Like lean into it, like fall bad. So I fell really, and it like,

the way I fell on the boards and the space we were in, it was like a shotgun blast. It was like the loudest out and like Bert Pigeons like way far away flew away yeah and you and Halle I think were confused because it was like why did you do because it looked intended like physical comedy stylings of Michael Sarah like? Just for Sweden. Yeah. What'sups.com, Michael Sarasen town. Last thing I want is attention for being the guy who just ate shit.

But it was like, it's a survival instinct when you know you're getting something embarrassing is gonna happen, you're like, I gotta own this somehow. It was pretty good. Because also it, I mean, had literally everybody's attention. It was, yeah, it was a big deal. It's a big square and a big, and you know, they're tourist taking pictures.

And falling down is like so humbling because it's just like kind of a guarantee that you're gonna fall again in your future at some point, right? Like I fell recently in my home in the middle of the night. Falling down is a guarantee that- Don't you think? Could you say, could you tell me that you're sure

you're never gonna fall flat on your face or your ass again for the rest of your life? It's pretty much a guarantee you $1,000 Maybe you make good on that. Yeah That's easy money for me. When's the last time you fell? August 15 2016 okay, yeah, what happened? There was a rubber band that had been left on the carpet.

I was walking to the bathroom like in the middle of the night like a couple weeks ago and I think because I got up in the night, I don't know and there's a little step, like a little lip up to the bathroom and suddenly I was like on my elbow, like I really fell hard. It's very humbling. Maybe I fall more than most people do, but. I had one of the most embarrassing, if not the most embarrassing fall is I was visiting a girlfriend in

social botan Sweden, a little suburb of Stockholm. And and the jet lag, I'd come from LA with a little suburb of Stockholm. The jet lag, I'd come from LA and the jet lag was insane. It's out of it. And it was just her mom and her younger sister. And so I just went to, I was out of it, I went to sleep. And then I woke up and then there's

some wooden, you know, that kind of like modern in the 70s where it's just like a wood plank, wood, wood, wood, you know, no railing or whatever. And they're down watching TV. And I think the mom was like, oh, make you a cup of tea. And I was like, thank you or coffee, whatever. And I got it. And she went back to that.

Oh, yeah, hot beverage. Oh, yeah. And I slipped on the wooden stairs and went down like four or five of them, like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And coffee everywhere. And this is basically their introduction to me. Their introduction is.

We've had an incident. And I was older than the... I was a good like, you know, I don't know, seven years older than this girl. And this weird older guy from America who just immediately went to sleep, like kind of drunk and then went to sleep and then woke up, I made him coffee

and he just fucking ate shit. Made a mess in my home. And then go, go, go, go, go. And how badly hurt were you? I was, I was enough, I was embarrassed enough and the adrenaline kicked in so that it kind of covered up any kind of pain. You shot up.

Everything's fine. I mean, I really fell down. Like it was a bit of a tumble, I mean, I really fell down. Yeah. Like, it was a bit of a tumble, you know. It was pretty great. I'll never forget it. And also just, really, like, I just met these people.

Not the first impression you hope to make. And I'm hanging out for like a good week. I'll be there for a week. Well, that's good you got that out of the way. No, I kept doing it. You kept doing it? Yeah. They asked. It's a good thing to, that's good you got that out of the way. No, I kept doing it. You kept doing it. Yeah. They asked.

It's a good thing to keep up. Show them what you did. All right. We're way over time. Well, that was fun. Good. We'll do the other story next time. Yeah.

It's a fun story. All right, Michael, Sarah, thank you very much. Thank you. Since his working overtime is a headgum podcast created and hosted by ME, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Drucin for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by Head Gum, visit headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. Thanks for listening.