Senses Working Overtime with David Cross - Michael Kosta

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

Michael Kosta (The Daily Show) joins David to talk about tennis, Scientology, and more. Catch all new episodes every Thursday. Watch video episodes here.Guest: Michael KostaSubscribe and Rate Senses Working Overtime on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!Follow David on Instagram and Twitter.Follow the show:Instagram: @sensesworkingovertimepodTikTok: @swopodEditor: Kati SkeltonEngineer: Chris OsbornExecutive Producer: Emma FoleyAdvertise on Senses Working Overtime via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. I'm just, I didn't do it. Why did you do that? I just show up. Throwing people under the bus already. Chris has only been here for a few minutes. I have a sprained ankle, so at some point I might do this. Is that okay?

What, levitate your foot? Sure, do that. It doesn't damage the table. Do you want to take your shoe off? I don't think I'm gonna do that. Okay. How'd you sprain your ankle? I was carrying my daughter to a water park and I fell off a curb. Did you, how'd you sprain your ankle? I had sprained the other ankle and I was hopping

over, so the old house I used to live in, there's a little driveway and about a foot curve. And I was hopping over, so the old house I used to live in, there's a little driveway and about a foot curve that goes up the driveway and there's like a little lawn. And there was a like old fashioned mailbox, on a post and I had been gone for a while and I had pretty severely sprained my ankle. And then I hopped over the thing with my good foot and landed,

unbeknownst to me, in the divot that was left by the mailbox post. And then so I had to crawl up to my door like army man style. Now you have to decide. That two sprained ankles. And if you look closely. And I would like to see your bare feet during this part of it. Yeah. It's okay.

You don't have to. I knew he was going to yes and. Well, I have a comedy background. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. It's not just, uh, journalism and tennis, right? That's right.

Okay. So this is, you can- I am not doing this to you. All right. That one looks pretty good actually. Well, this has two broken bones. Does it really? You see my foot is a little deformed here.

Shoes are broken. Compared to the other one. This is also from when I was in Croatia. Dubrovnik. I feel like there's something there that's not supposed to be there. That is like a... That is like a... That's not supposed to be there.

That's not supposed to be there. But you can see the severity. Yes. See how my foot juts in like that. That's because this is... Leave them out there. This is too good. Yeah. I mean, why woulduts in like that? That's because this is leave them out there. This is too good. Yeah. So so yeah, my feet are all fucked up.

So this I broke this bone. Yeah. Right here. And you can see it's protruding because I never got to fix because it's a foot bone. Well, what do you do? I mean, I broke my pinky once. Yeah. And I went into the podiatrist

and they were like, what? There's nothing we can do. We can tape it to the other. Exactly. Well, my wife was getting on me. Cause I, I feel like this is too far away from me. It sounded good. All right.

All right. I'm not going to worry about it. This one, I had a two fractures. You can see this is jutting out over here. So my right foot, so I broke this big toe bone, this big, you can see it's like sticking out there. You got a little thing there too. Well, that's bone. That's the bone from fusing incorrectly or whatever. But I was kicking sticks

with my dog, my old dog, Ollie, in a big huge park. And I would like kick them hard, like. The sticks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Flying. Get her to run around as much as possible. huge park and I, and I would like kick them hard, like. The sticks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Flying. Yeah.

Get her to run around as much as possible. Yeah. And, um, I wound up Justin Tucker style to bring my foot all the way back to kick this stick, pretty healthy looking stick. And I, I fucking came in hard and it was a root and a tree. And I knew immediately, Oh, that's broken. And then this one, same one.

Foot stuff is no good. Yep. This was, you could see this is protruding there cause it didn't, I mean, again, what are you supposed to do? But see how my toes are all messed up. And then this thing is all curved. I would have thought, if I just looked at your feet and didn't know whose body they were attached to I've said this could Be a ballerina Really, you know a shitty ballerina shitty ballerina with broken feet. Yeah, they have terrible feet

And it's the one thing when you break you can't lay off it What do you I mean you just what lay and you know, this was bad for that's why you get married It's why you can marry, you know I put my foot up for a day. It starts to feel better and then you got to go about your life lay in, you know, this was bad for. Well, that's why you get married. That's why you get married. You know. I put my foot up for a day, it starts to feel better. And then you got to go about your life. Yeah. Yeah. And you're at your partner.

As you should. You'd be an excellent pioneer, Michael. And my wife was like, I'll help you for a day and a half. And then that's kind of now, let's go grown up. So here we are. So that's why. I'm just saying, I'm like, I'm in your wife's camp. Yeah. My wife and I are from very different worlds in that aspect. And I'm very much the walk it off generation like, yeah, you know, is there anything worse than when your partner gets sick? I feel like when my kid gets sick,

I love her more. But when my wife gets sick, it's like, I don't want anything to do with this person. Is that a bad, am I a bad person? Yes. Well, you're a bad husband, bad partner. I don't think you're a bad person per se. But. How old is your daughter? My daughter is almost five. Okay. And almost two.

So she, not the same one. She goes back and forth. She, she found a, a tear in the time fabric. That's correct. And that's what she's got a loper thing going on. So, so difficult to parent is, are we dealing with a five-year-old? Are we dealing with a, with a, with a two-year-old? So it's like a freaky Friday thing.

The two-year-old got switched with a five-year-old's body. That's why we named- And vice versa. And what a boring movie that would be. And that's why we named her that. Uh, vice versa or freaky Friday. Okay. Uh, but I think it's commendable that when your wife is sick, your

sounds like a knight in shining armor. I'm not. Yeah. But, uh, the, she, she, and her mom is the same way. She really, um, feels, uh, fulfilled and finds validation in caring for other people or not other people, but me when I'm, because I, I think it meshes well because I really don't like being taken care of. You know what I mean?

I'm very, I mean, we just had completely different backgrounds, different moms, different situations growing up and I'm the, you know, tough it out. I don't go to the doctor unless it's, you know, but she will. It's evident. Yes. Yeah. But again, what are you supposed to do? I don't, I know they don't.

You're not supposed to, there's nothing to do. If you look up, if you Google like, Oh, I broke my pinky toe, uh, uh, you know, my foot. Well, I guess toe is foot. Yes. Um, so that was, all right. It was, it's getting rough. Uh, so it'll tell you just tape it together, put some gauze there.

And that's what I did. And I saved myself what, $5,000 going to a fucking American foot doctor to go, I should put some tape on that. I wonder if podiatry is just where they put all the people that failed. It's possible. I mean, I feel like I could be a podiatrist. A toe, there's not a lot you do with toes. That's the, that's what I'm talking about. So if your

specialty is toes, you're making a shit ton of money to sit back in some cushy office and go, yeah, there's not a whole lot I can do with that. You can put some gauze in between there and tape it up, get some, uh, You do have to look at people's feet. That's, that's the rub. I get to do that even on this podcast. Oh yeah. Which is so good. My feet are ugly. I mean, they've gotten uglier over time and I have to get a special, oh, this is kind of interesting. Those are two solid. Yeah, that's some gelatinous liquid in there that, you know, they don't have

to, they're like, oh, we can take it out. You don't need it. It doesn't do anything. I had a man yesterday and I don't say this lightly. Oh, congratulations. I had a man yesterday. That's great. Put his hands on my ankles and move them, the bones and the blood around. And it felt really nice, David. And it helped my spring. Well, I would hope so.

Otherwise. He was a athletic trainer. He was a physio. So he said, but I will say I was surprised with the sprain that moving it and rubbing it made it feel better. But did it hurt at the time when he was doing it? No, it was like right on the edge. Oh, okay. Right on the edge.

You have a high tolerance for pain? I don't know. I don't know about that. How do I know that? Well, by being in the company of other people who don't have a high tolerance for pain? I don't know. I don't know about that. How do I know that? Well, by being in the company of other people who don't have high tolerance for pain. I would say then that I think I'm medium. Yeah, sounds about right.

Sounds about right for me. I know an awesome lady who, she's Irish. This'll give you some insight. Yeah. Who had dental work done without any Novocaine. That's wild. Or any kind of numbing agent at all. I would have thought I was tough until I had a root canal, which is, it's just bad.

It's excruciating. But why would this Irish person do this? This Irish woman. I don't remember. I'll have to ask her next time I see her, but it was, she's tough, you know? Yeah. Yeah. But that's... I did a piece for The Daily Show where we went to Yuma, Arizona. Oh. And 6,000 Americans a day cross the border to Mexico for dental care. Yeah. For a lot of reasons. So then we went to this dental office in Mexico and guess what it was?

Nicer than anything I've been to here. Oh yeah. It was unbelievable. Oh, you don't have to tell me. I lived in London for years and I've had, you know, I had an emergency root canal, um, and I'll spare you all the horrific details, but it was extremely painful and it was emergency being the key word, which I didn't know until the dentist, I was getting a cleaning and that dental technician, I

was in such pain, the dentist wasn't there. So she went down the street and then around the corner. It was this area, um, is like in, uh, uh, what is it? Uh, it doesn't matter. It's a, it's if I said the name, he'd be right. Um, but. Piccadilly square. No, no, it's not Piccadilly square, but, um, the one. No, no, um, I'll stop.

It was, uh, uh, kind of a Piccadilly square. That's the one Wimbledon. No. No. Okay. I'll stop. It was kind of a fancier part of town and there just happened to be a lot of dentists and doctors in this, in this area. And she went around the corner, down the street, around the corner, came back with this guy who was in the middle of another patient and said, you like looked at x-rays confirmed what the technician thought. And he's like, you have to have an emergency root canal right now.

What? Got somebody to fill in for him because he was just doing a routine thing and gave me right then and there, which is, you know, it's a long process. It's a, you got to extract it, there's an over cane. You got to do the root canal. Then you've got to fit for a temporary crown. Then you got to get the crown, et cetera, et cetera. And I got, uh, uh, whatever it was like Motrin or ibuprofen or some other shit that they prescribed me and gave me a bottle of to leave with after all that.

I, my bill was 68 pounds. It's wild. So I got everything done except for the permanent crown. I, I got back to LA. I happen to be there. I'm happy to hear that that's the same thing as here, because I always thought that come back later for the crown thing was bullshit. Well, no, they got to fit it. I know, but I always thought be there. I'm happy to hear that that's the same thing as here because I always thought that Come Back Later for the Crown thing was bullshit. Well, no, they gotta fit it.

I know, but I always thought it was. I had a feeling it was bullshit. Are you a conspiracy theory guy? Absolutely. When it comes to dentistry, I believe so. But beyond dentistry, like- I wouldn't necessarily call myself- Chemtrails.

No, I wouldn't necessarily think. I know it'd be more interesting if I was. Well, I just think if you think that something that, to me, I don't question at all just because of the obvious, they have to fit it into your mouth. It makes sense. They can't just have a bunch of crowns, willy nilly on the shelf and they go, hmm, this one,

and then shove it in there. Get him a six. Get a, I don't think it works that way. So I've never questioned it. But when I did, I don't think it works that way. Yeah. Um, so I've never questioned it, but, uh, but when I did, I got, everything was taken care of except for the permanent crown, which was sent to LA, uh, where I was going for like a two week Christmas vacation with

my, my then girlfriend, that wife, their family and stuff. And she's like, you got to go see my, uh, you see my dentist, orthodontist, whatever. And, uh, you know, basically mile and a half away, a couple of miles away, Santa Monica, go there, get the crown put in all that stuff. $5,000 68 pounds emergency root canal.

68 pounds for an emergency root canal. How did you process the Luigi Mangione stuff? Because it was such a, health care is such a triggering subject. But then so is cold blooded murder. How did you, how did David Cross process that? I didn't have- Am I allowed to ask him questions on here? Yeah, of course. I have a question for Chris.

Could you- Could you press record, please? I was- I don't know what your AI capabilities are, but could you redo my feet and post? Yes. Okay. Just put bunny slippers on them or something. Yeah.

Okay. No, could I get a, could you get me a cold brew with oat milk? My throat is all, I had to postpone this, postpone this. Right now? No, I had to postpone this. Postpone this right now. No, I had to. We were supposed to do it on Friday. I think that's right. I got I was not yet over this sickness and I'm doing this play starting tomorrow. Right. Lots of talking and lots of shit.

How do we do that with the voice? Oatmeal, please. And would you like anything? I'm great. I heard my laqua. Um, I didn't have time. I apologize. Um, the voice is, um, is something that is important to take care of.

Yeah. After I finished this podcast, I'm not talking for the rest of the, I mean, I have a zoom call at four after that. I'm not talking. Um, I am going to, I'll do some talking after this. Okay. I've decided I'm not going to I'll do some talking after this. Okay. I've decided I'm not going to. Will you come back to my place and I will write things down and you can talk to my wife.

Yeah. But how will you manage the voice in a play? That's tricky. There was like a, they gave us a, like a instructional pamphlet as it were, several pages from a voice lady and telling you how for theater. Yeah, that's interesting. My friend who's a musician says sugar-free gum. I don't know.

Really? I don't know. I'm like old school tea and honey and lemon person. I'm gonna take this off guys. Yeah, one by one. One by one it's all coming off. Yeah. I'm going to take this off guys. Yeah, one by one. One by one. It's all coming off. Yeah. Just shirt out. Shirt happens.

It's not a shit happens. Shirt happens. Is what happens when Chris leaves. Is that a- Shit happens? Hey, try adding an R. Shirt happens. That's fun. That's good.

What were we talking about? The feet? We were talking about the feet. The feet. The feet. The feet. The feet. The feet.

The feet. The feet. The feet. The feet. The feet. The feet. Triad and an R, shirt happens. That's fun. That's good. What were we talking about? The feet? We were talking about Luigi Mangione, which is a sad topic, but I'm kind of curious how you process it.

Okay, I felt zero sympathy for the guy who was killed. I have, thank you very much. It'd be fun to edit that and not know what he's talking. sympathy for the guy who was killed. I have things. It'd be fun to edit that and not know like what he's talking, you know, it's just kind of like, that would be some AI shit. Okay, you felt zero sympathy for the health care CEO. Yes, I feel sympathy for his family. Yeah. Yeah.

But I mean, I thought it was. Really. But I mean, I thought it was really smart. I don't know if you want, if Luigi wants to drive his message home is willing to sacrifice himself to kill somebody else. You know, I thought it was smart for him to put their very words on the bullet. I heard one of the bullets said Michael Costaosta.com on him, which I thought

was interesting because if he, why was he trying to promote my stand updates? Uh, I don't know if that's just what I heard. Yeah. Um, but that bullet wasn't used. That was the one he was going to self-inflict. Right. Right. Uh, saving the MichaelCosta.com.

Do you want to plug your dates? Go ahead. Oh, no, I don't need to. Really? Everything sold out? No, I already did it, one of the bullets. You can go to MichaelCosta.com for my standup dates. But he seemed so smart with the bullets,

that blew me away. Yeah. Has anybody seen a picture of that? I'd like to see what that actually looked like. Was it like, or he seemed seem so smart with the bullets, but then also he seems so dumb, like he got caught with the gun in his bag and all that stuff.

I'm not saying he's a smart guy. I think that particular thing, to get to drive your message home, to have people talking about it, to say, you know, the things he said in his manifesto. I mean, I understand. I don't condone murder, but I understand for sure being that upset. I mean, the countless thousands and thousands of people who died unnecessarily because of specific actions or inactions that the US healthcare.co. I mean, yeah, I, it was that, you know, who should have shot him, Trump,

then he wouldn't go to jail. Oh, because he would have pardoned himself because he has immunity. He has immunity. And he said back in 16, like I could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and I wouldn't go to jail. And he was right. Why would Ivanka Trump need to shoot the healthcare CEO? Is that who you meant?

Barron. Barron Trump. Are we, is he free game now? We can make fun of Barron now? Fuck yeah. Yes. Okay. Yeah.

I remember, you know, the, I mean, nobody has double standards quite like Republicans, but I remember the, or the Republican party. Well, Christians are probably worse, but the constant making fun of Chelsea Clinton. Oh my God, you're right. I was just- Amy Carter. I was a kid. I was just wondering who you were going to say. And I remember- Yeah, Chelsea Clinton. She was a kid. So why was it not okay with them?

She was a preteen. Yeah. Because they're double standard. They're hypocrites. They're full of shit. Yeah. And that's their thing. You bring up an interesting point about the escalation of Trump's crimes. If he could, if he would commit murder, what would happen? That would be wild. I mean, I don't think it covers murder, but he would, I think he would get away with it because people would want him to get away with it. So they would construct, they'd find some defense to shoehorn into the self-defense or, you know, stand your ground.

One of those things. I thought, I hoped Luigi's manifesto was a little more put together. Yeah. Cause the bullet thing was very powerful. Nice imagery there, Luigi and whatever team helped you come up with this, whatever marketing firm helped them with that. I think it was IDPR. I think you're right.

But it really unraveled from there. And who's your PR company? I don't have a PR company. Oh, right. Hence the Michael Costa.com bullet. But you have a bunch of bullets out there, right? I got a bunch of bullets and I'm just, you hope for the best. Yeah. What's the caliber? I don't know what Luigi used. Was it a nine millimeter? Is that the

caliber? I think it was 108. Do you know about calibers? I know about calipers and that's off by one letter. So I know John Calipari. Right. Oh yeah, yes. The basketball. Sure. The coach. Head coach.

Yep. You are from the South. Thank you. Is that right? Is that a compliment? Well, I don't know. I'm asking because I would think, I would guess people from the South

know more about guns than people from the North. I don't know if that's true. I am from the South know more about guns than people from the North. I don't know if that's true. I am from the South, yes. Guns were not really a big issue. I mean, it wasn't a big deal. It was, but also like the Confederate flag was everywhere. And I never, like it didn't register with me. Like I kind of got it, but I kind of got why some people were upset, but also it seemed like whatever, you know, now I add that as an adult, I get it. I understand completely. But there was a so guns were I mean, and you know, gun proliferation is relatively new in this country.

It's not, it was not until what, like 30 years ago? Not even maybe. What do you mean by prol, you mean everyone's. Everyone having guns was not a thing. Right. Nobody gave a shit. Right. If you wanted a gun, you wouldn't got a gun.

And, uh, it was not a thing until like the, I want to say like late nineties, mid, mid late nineties. What changed that? Was there, was there a, what? The NRA. The NRA. It was, it was marketing, uh, you know, this idea that I think it was twofold.

It was American and manly, and it was the Democrats want to take your guns away, which of course never happened, but they did want regulations. And so the NRA said, it was a fundraising tool, very effective, and they sold a shitload of guns. And every time anything happens, they sell more guns.

Obama gets elected, a lot more guns. Yep. That's scary and sad in a lot of ways. I recently re- Where are you from? I'm sorry. I'm from Michigan originally, Ann Arbor, Michigan. I love Ann Arbor. I love Ann Arbor.

You like Ann Arbor? I do, yeah. I think it's a great city. You don't like it? No, I do like it very much. I have not spent, I mean, I've been there probably seven, eight, nine times doing shows, but I always have Michigan theater, maybe the big theater on the hill. Yeah. No, no, it was the, whatever the theater. I think that's Michigan. David cross feels perfect for Ann Arbor. And I mean that as like a compliment. It's, it is.

It's most literate city, yes. It's very literate. Yeah. It's very literate. I mean, I literally mean it has been, whoever decides these things, that it is the most well-read literate city in America. One of my friends growing up, name borders ever heard of borders bookshop Okay, so that's that's literate. That's that's literacy. That's literature

That's capitalism It's a retail selling my words for a profit but a great city I Mean I grew up there's comedy coming through all the time. You know, it's like a Madison or. I love Madison too. Yeah. I actually saw you for 10 minutes in Madison at the theater. That you left. Well, I was at the comedy on state. I had to do my show. Okay. And I had 10 minutes to come see who was at Orpheum, which was you. When was this? Eight years ago. Okay.

I forget. I can't even tell you. Orpheum is the theater on the strip. Yeah, on state. On state, right. Okay. I can't tell you even what you were talking about, to be honest with you. I have no idea. Yeah, I don't know either. I mean, but I saw, I wanted to see the theater and what you were talking about, to be honest with you. I had no idea.

Yeah. I don't know either. I mean, but I saw, I wanted to see the theater and then you were performing. So I quickly popped in and clapped for you and then I do my show. But, um, Ann Arbor is a great town in the sense that it valued, uh, education, learning arts. And, but it was small enough that you could try

stuff and fail and open mics were, you know, it was great. Yeah. It was great. Yeah. I mean, there are a few more comforting, comfortable places for me to be in than a college town.

Yeah. They tend to be liberal, progressive, cultural, and they're not too big. Um, really good bars usually. Um, have you been to Missoula, Montana? I flew into Missoula and then had to drive four hours another direction, but is Missoula a good spot? Great.

Yeah. Not quite as, I don't think as big as, um, Ann Arbor or Madison, certainly not as big as Madison, but it's a awesome little college town. There's so many great little towns and it makes me so appreciative that we have them. Yeah. Because you forget when you go from Sturm All, Athens is great. Athens is great. I'm taping my special there at the 40 watt. I don't think it's been announced officially, but I'll put it on a bullet. What is that happening? It'll be May 31st, two shows at the 40 watt.

That's exciting. Which is a place that I played over the decades, numerous times going way back. Yeah. And awesome room. I love Athens and. And the hour's ready. It's way ready. It's piping hot. It's too. This is too. This is the latest I've ever shot something. I mean, I started touring

in September. Okay. Michael, Michael, that's this stuff is my set is evolving. Yeah. You know, yeah. And and we'll see if it changes, if Trump is elected, we'll see. See what happens. There's some new material, um, coming out. Uh, man, it's a good thing that they got rid of those DEI hires. Good Lord. You know, there wasn't one, uh, uh, air fatality in Biden's four years in office, not one. And then Trump got rid of everybody. I know.

And then there's two immediately, back to back. Well. Did you see what he said about, besides blaming black people, gay people, and women. Uh, he said, he's so dumb. The thing about, uh, I mean, you know, the helicopter could have gone, you know, could have gone up or down or sideways could have gone sideways. Could have gone up or down. Like, yeah, that's.

He was live tweeting the crash. The pilot. Yeah. Well, the pilot was, yeah. No, the the Trump was like when it happened, he said he, this is terrible what happened. And it was like, you know, he's just not good at the presidenting stuff. He is a good campaigner. He's a great campaigner.

He's a great fighter. And he, yeah, clearly take a deep breath and let this thing evolve for a second. Yeah, that's not his style. But what do you think about this? What do you think about his strategy that maybe he just tries to flood the zone with bullshit so we media liberals, whatever, bite DEI, and then then that becomes its own storm. Yeah.

Well, it's very effective. It's very effective. I believe page 42 of the art of the deal. Yeah, right. It's right in there. And if you're anti-Trump, you're immediately woke, right? That's another one of his strategies. That's why I'll take it.

I'm woke, I'm progressive, I'm liberal. I believe in equality. I believe in fairness. I believe in, uh, uh, fairness. I believe in, uh, the law. I believe in sharing. I know that's going to be illegal soon, but I believe in sharing. Yeah. Um, yeah, the DEI stuff is wild.

How they've weaponized it. The executive. So that crash happened and then he. It was because of black women. That's. Or gay, a gay black woman. Oh my God. Are you kidding me?

Is that what he said? Well, he said it was because of DEI. Right. So. Because the FAA had been hiring based off of. Yeah, you don't have to make too much. The connection is literally from here to there. Right.

You know. Right. Oh, so you mean diversity, equity and inclusion, which means, you know, uh, um, do anybody, you know, uh, somebody screwed up that was affirmative action, somebody, a black person was in there, could have been a woman, could have been a black person and could have been a Mexican. I got a book coming out. You got a book coming out. Yep. Called, called Lucky Loser, Lucky Loser. and could have been a Mexican. I got a book coming out. You got a book coming out. Yep. Called?

Called Lucky Loser. Lucky Loser. And it's my story. I wanted to be a professional tennis player. I was a professional tennis player, but I didn't make it. Meaning you didn't crack the top 100 or however that works? I didn't crack the top 100. My career high ranking was 864 in the world in tennis thank you who was just

that's a great behind you that's a great question like who was 865 but I was 863 places away from being the greatest tennis player in the world David that's that's big that's big and then I upon failing at tennis, failing, however you want to describe that, I moved over to comedy and here we are. I mean, that's an off-told tale. That happens a lot. Very frequent.

So what is that? I'm sure it's all in the book, but what? I should have brought a book. I didn't even have one. Yeah. Maybe we can find an image somewhere on the internet. Okay. For the listeners?

For the listeners, yeah. So what is, so how do you get ranked first of all? Yeah. And who's doing this? Is it just some dudes or where? Who are these people? I mean, it's a computer, but that's a great question. Like where is the computer?

Where is the master computer? Yeah. That a great question. Like where is the computer? Where is the master computer? Yeah. That's my question. Probably in a Bond villain's chamber. The tennis computer. You get points. I mean, it's very, when you really- Oh, sort of like boxing, I guess.

Yeah. You're doing more ranked fights that are, you know, legitimized or, oh, and that's not the right word, but you know, like sanctioned or whatever. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So you're playing, so you start as an amateur. You start as an amateur, you can enter these open tournaments, much like signing up for an open mic. Okay. Anybody can enter. You could actually sign up.

And there's an MC? There's an MC, you get paid and drink tickets and mozzarella steak. And it's pay to play? It's pay to play. You have to get five people to come watch the match. And if you qualify by beating certain players, you get to the main draw of these tournaments. And then if you win a round, you get one point. One point would, when I was playing,

one point would get you a 1,600 ranking. When you say one round, is that just one round to tennis? Yeah, one round to tennis. So it's a round of 32 draw. You win, you're in the round of 16. So that would get you one point and then you'd be tied with a thousand people at 1600 in the world. So on my career high was 864. I had like 13 of these points. If you win the US Open, David, and I suspect you will this year with the year you're having, you would get a thousand points. Wow. What would I do with all those points? You trade them in at the end for like an Xbox. Yeah. There's like a big gift wall. And that's what the year end tournament is. All the players want to go to that because that's when you cash in. Yeah. I mean, what the year end tournament is all the players want to go to that. Cause that's when you cash in.

Yeah. I like, I mean, I know I don't want to spend them all on a bunch of dumb shit, but I love the little sticky, like this hands. Yeah. They got those. And you, and you throw them up against the window and it kind of sticks and then slowly kind of blip, blip, blip. Yeah. They got those. I will say that. How many points are those?

That's a good question. I don't know, but you do have to. Chris, will you look it up? Yeah. Look it up. I will say that. How many points are those? That's a good question, I don't know. But you do have to. Chris, will you look it up? Yeah, look it. You do have to use all your points for that year. You can't, points don't carry over. That's like a frequent flyer. Yeah, points don't carry over.

Right. And then when did you, and I'm being serious here. Tell me the, was it an epiphany, a revelation, an idea like I'm not going to make it as a tennis player and I need to, uh, you know, confront this. That's a thing. It's serious. I don't have that thing in me that is going to push and, and I should cut bait and put all my eggs in a comedy basket. A comedy basket, a comedic eggs in a comedy. Yeah, there was a moment coming out of that moment,

it wasn't, oh, I should focus on comedy. Right. You know, that would be insane. I'm imagining it was kind of a thought that you suppressed in a sinking reality. Now we're getting somewhere. Yeah, and a sinking reality. And when did that moment happen?

The definitive moment. Thank you for that question. That's an intelligent question. I'm a smarty. But it was also helpful that you said, I'm being serious now. Yes, well, sometimes I have to say that. I do actually, in the book, there's a chapter or a portion called inventory. I took an inventory of my life as a tennis player.

And I remember writing down on a piece of paper in my parents. I'm sorry, this is post, this is as you're writing the book, you took an inventory or? No, this inventory is in the book, but also this happened in real life. Got it. When I was losing a lot of tennis, and I flew home from this match in South Korea

on Jeju Island where I was up five, one on the third. You can relate to this. And I was up two breaks, I had match points, and I still lost. Wow. And I was, there was a shuttle. This is the kind of tournaments I was playing. And I'm sorry that I keep interrupting,

but did you have a coach? Was this your, no. I did not have a coach because I didn't have enough money for a coach. You have to pay for yourself. And I ended up selling. Now I'm serious too. When I say this, I sold shares to investors of Michael Kosta's

potential future earnings. Right. Golfers do this too, if you're familiar. So I had a chunk of money that people had invested in me and I was running out of money, I had lost this match in South Korea. There was one shuttle to go back to the hotel and this is how small the tournaments I was playing in. The only other person in the shuttle was the guy that just beat me. What nationality was he?

I think he was Korean, but he could have been of different Asian country because I'm not that good at knowing. So he could have been Lao. He could have been Lao. He could have been Cambodian. He could have been. Oh, I know. Wow. Exactly.

So I didn't want to sit next to the guy that just beat me. So I walked back to the hotel and I walked through this Korean fishing village and there was all of these very unfamiliar fish, frogs, species of things, and they're all laying there dead. And I looked at them and I thought, that's how I feel. That's how I feel. Did you talk to them? I talked to them a little bit. I actually stopped at Internet Cafe and emailed my brother, which is neither here nor there.

Then why did you bring it up? I want, he's a big fan of yours. Okay. Do you want to cut this part out of the podcast? When Chris is, is it Chris or Vince? Chris. Who's Vince? Who the hell's Vince?

Vince McMahon. He's the head of WWF. The World Wildlife Foundation. He shares the same name. Do you remember all that when that changed? Yeah. That was wild. Yeah.

Let's get back to me real quick. So I fly back to the United States and I make an inventory of what I had. I had a pretty good ranking. I was in the 800s. I had no money left. I had maybe $1,000 left. And this was the big one. This is what you were getting at, David.

I had very little belief. The belief had expired. Yeah. And I had seen players 10 years older than me that hadn't quit when they were where I was, and I really didn't wanna be them. Sure. I'm sure you've done this in comedy

where you've seen people or on projects and you go, I'll just make sure, Lord Almighty, that I don't make the decisions to be in that situation. And I said, I need to stop. Lord Almighty that I don't make the decisions to be in that situation and I Said I need to stop. I need to stop Yeah, I don't have the belief to keep doing this and did you have to go to your investors and say I did And how did that conversation go? I was very nervous about that and you know most of them said They said do you want more money?

If you believe you can do it, we'll support you. And I said, yes, I took their money. And then I fled. And that's- Are you wanted? I'm a wanted man. No, they were very, some of them were like, Hey, uh, where's our money? And I had given them money over the years a little bit, but they lost money. Everybody lost money.

Okay. I'm here to admit it. I'm here to finally come out and say it. You guys lost money. Well, why don't you give them some of your daily show money? Well, I know it's not a lot. I know it's Favour Nation scale plus 10. Yes, plus 10. Yeah. For those of you at home or listening, plus 10 is when they pay, they give you, you get scale, which is the lowest possible money you can earn.

Favorite nations means everybody gets that. And then scale plus 10 means they pay your manager's commission for you. I actually needed that explanation. I had forgotten that. Did you not know? Well, I knew that happens in commercials, but it doesn't happen on the Daily Show. I'll tell you that. I get commissioned. I get commissioned. No, you get commissioned, but they're not paying for it doesn't happen on the Daily Show. I'll tell you that. I get commissioned. I get commissioned. No, you get commissioned, but they're not paying for it. It's not scale plus 10. The commercials I've done, that's what I've like the-

Scale plus 10. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. But- What commercials have you done? Oh, give me a taste. Give me a little taste of Mike Acosta. Trackphone, the nation's best 4G LTE cellular network.

Which one? Always selling. Track phone. Track phone, never heard of it. Track phone. That was part of the strategy behind me saying yes to that. I don't think really anybody knows about this. Yeah.

Was it on camera or just voice? It was on camera and voice, yeah. What else have I done? I did a Coors light thing. Oh, and then they silver bullet the train that wrecks everything. No, they, they, they sent me afterwards as a thank you, even though they paid you, pay you. They sent me this refrigerator that also has a button on it. Yes, I've seen this.

Yeah. Nice. I was living in like Chelsea with like this much space. So what do you do with that? Yeah. Have you done, I've seen this. Yeah. Nice. I was living in like Chelsea with like this much space. So what do you do with that? Yeah. Have you done, you've done commercials? I have. Yeah. I've done it. What have I seen? What commercials of yours have I seen? I did a long, long, long time ago, I did a commercial for AOL. Okay. First thing I ever did actually, Ben Stiller directed it. Then I did a Coke. Ben Stiller directed. Uh, first thing I ever did actually, Ben still directed it. Then I did a Coke.

Then still directed it. Yeah. That's why. Um, and then I did a commercial for Coca-Cola, which was me. I believe Judd Apatow, Jeanine, Garofalo, and somebody else might have done voices and it's like on close on a tie, a hubcap that's moving. And it's us talking. And that's all I remember.

What's the, what was the product? Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola. Yeah. And. Those are great comedy casts in the commercial. Yeah. I wasn't so, I wasn't as fortunate.

It was all stiller show stuff back in the, back in the day. Cause I was a writer on that. Okay. And I don't know if I've done any other commercials besides the things on, on, you know, I've read some stuff on the podcast. Which you don't patronize. Actually, what is the, the Chris, what is it? AG1?

AG1, I use that. I use that product. I got- What is AG1? It's like a vitamin drink and powder you make. And I quite like it. I can't say it's had any effect, either negative or positive, but I like it. And if nothing else, it's psychosomatic.

No, not psychosomatic. No, not psychosomatic. That's not the word. It's a- Placebo? Yeah, placebo. Whatever that is. Yeah.

It is crazy that I do a lot of vitamin stuff too. And it is crazy that there's really no way to ever measure if anything's happening. No. But we all do it. And I drink a lot. So- Yeah.

And I- Alcohol. Yeah, alcohol, and I, I, yeah. Uh, and, uh, and like, uh, that's part of why my throat is a little rest because I stopped drinking when I was sick and, um, and before this Broadway show, um, and then I went to the, they do this kind of, you know, party, uh, cause it's a rotating cast when one cast leaves. I was listening to you and Nick talk about it. Yeah. Sounded interesting. Yeah, so I went last night and, you know, I had a full week of not drinking,

which is pretty long for me. And then I drank kind of normal last night because I'm over the sickness, but my throat is, you know, whatever. And I fucking woke up hammered. Isn't that suck? That's just cause I had a week off. What were you having?

I had. What do you normally have? Like what is it? I had two pints of Guinness and then a shot of Tullamore Dew. Okay. Then I had an IPA. Okay.

And then I had an IPA. Okay. And then I had, so I had those at my local in Brooklyn. And then I went to meet my wife and a friend of ours who's in town, had one drink with them, then made my way to the party and had probably, I don't know, three beers, three more beers, IPAs. That's the problem. The fucking IPAs. Can we stop with all this everybody? I love a juicy IPA. Do you? I do. Do you?

Yes, I do. Yes, you do. I do. I don't. Okay. And I'm proud to admit it. I know. And I'm not even- Why are you proud to admit it? Well, it took me a while to get there.

You know what I don't like? Turkey chili. And I'm proud of that. What the fuck is a weird thing to be proud of that you don't like IPA? And I'll say it out loud, God damn it. I'm not proud in the sense that I'm contradicting what you like. I'm proud that I have reached the point of self-reflection that I can be honest with myself that I don't care for those. And I'm not going to let myself keep drinking them, God damn it. You know, but you can have one. Wait, so you, how old are you? 45.

So as a 45 year old, until recently, you succumbed to peer pressure about a beer. That's a great question. And I would say, I would say commercial pressure. Everywhere I go, there's nine IPAs and there's one like shitty Pilsner. And I would just do the one that had the cool tap and the fun name with the frog on it, you know?

And it's always a fucking IPA. Even knowing you didn't care for it. Well, I, you know, I just kept, I, I, I, oh, as if you can't tell me it hasn't taken you some time to learn something you do or don't like. The second, I know. This is where it gets confrontational. The second I know I don't like something,

I stop having it. I stop paying for it, I stop buying it, I stop imbibing it. I don't, why would? All I can say to that is- I think that's weird that you, that as an adult- Yes, yes. All I can say is I think you I think that's weird that you, that as an adult- Yes, yes. All I can say is I think you're a better man than me.

Probably. It took me a while to realize that what my problems in life I attributed to was, was the hazy IPA, you know? I can't believe I invite this failed tennis player to come into my podcast. He insults me. And give me shit about drinking IPA. Well, let me tell you another thing about that. I'm not done. Oh, right.

The beauty of a poured IPA. Excuse me. Now we're on IPAs? The beauty of a poured IPA also lured me in. I love the way a nice IPA also lured me in. I love the way a nice IPA looks with the sunlight. I will say this, and maybe this will mitigate some of the harshness that you've judged me for. But I don't like the hoppy, piney, bitter IPAs. I really like the juicy, hazy somewhat fruity ones.

I don't like fruit beer, but I like a hazy, juicy IPA. And you only had one bitter IPA and when you made your decision. Oh yeah. I know I'll ask, I'll go, cause buying, get going to a bar these days, I'd say in the last, what? 10 years, I'm going to a bar these days, I'd say in the last, what, 10 years, I'm going to say, with all the craft beer stuff is a pain in the ass. And I don't know what the fuck hints of leather. I don't know what the fuck that means.

I don't, I, so I will ask questions and the question I ask is, what kind of IPAs do you have? Do you have a juicy one? And then they'll say, well, we have this and this and this, and I'll say, is it bitter, hoppy, pint? And they'll say, this one is, and I go, okay, I don't like that. And they say, sir, you're literally fitting in every stereotype of Brooklyn local right now, as we do this.

I guess we mean, who knows what they want and doesn't suffer. Years of wrong. Yeah, I guess that's Brooklyn for you, but, um, I. It, so there, and then often almost, you know, a hundred percent time, actually there's one place I won't do it and I'm gonna talk about them in a second, but they'll quite often go, yeah, you want a taste?

And they go, yeah, and they pour you a little bit and you go, ah, this isn't quite my style. Or you go, yeah, great, thank you, I'll have that. So that happens a lot all over the country. Do you follow? Let me finish, there's one shitty fucking place called Beer Street and it's on Vanderbilt. Do you know what I'm talking about? I've been, I've been to beer. Okay. So I went there and they've got a what? 36 different beer names and they're all like cutie

names and like, you know, uh, a description that means nothing. Yeah. And and I asked them about the IPAs and they're like, oh, we have this and this and this. I wouldn't call this juicy, but it's closer in that style. And I said, OK, can I get a little taste? Like, yeah, we don't do that. Oh, my. I'm like, what do you mean you don't do that? I mean, everyone would. It's this much. It's a thimble full to see if you want it. Yeah. Like, just so I know, I don't want to waste, you're going to charge me nine bucks for this craft beer and I don't want to, and they refused. They said, we don't do that. It's our policy. We don't, like a little taste. And I'm like, well, fuck you. And I really got into it because I think that's just ridiculous, but okay, so be it. So I left and I went back there several months later knowing their policy,

different guy behind the counter. I was a little buzzed and some people there and I went in there just to be shitty and just to go, oh, can I have a taste? No. And I go, what kind of policy is that? Now I'm not going to, you know, whatever. Right. But? No. And I go, what kind of policy is that? Now I'm not going to, you know, whatever. Right. But fuck them. Just to rattle it up. It's not a good name, Beer Street.

No, and fuck that place. I mean, seriously, what a ridiculous, that's our policy. We don't give you- I'm surprised actually. I'm surprised that's their policy. I'm surprised because, I mean, all over the country, and they'll offer it. You don't have to ask. They'll go, Oh, you want a little taste? Uh, great. Uh, yeah, this is great. Thank you.

Or, Oh, I'll get the other one. And what did it cost them? And now I'm going to sit in that bar. I'm going to have several beers. I drink a lot. I'm going to have friends with me. They drink a lot. Yep.

I'm going to tip. Yep. And all it costs them was a thimble full, maybe two tablespoons worth of beer. I do think that's in the wine world. That's part of the course. Yeah. Well, it should be.

Yeah. And they even have to open a bottle. Whereas the beer world is already tapped. Yup. Yup. That's how it is with like lobster rolls and, and, you know, can I have a lot? I don't know how that, how does it taste?

Let me give you a sample. Turkey Rubens. I know that's a thing. Turkey Ruben. They always think it's the Omaha stick. Do you know that the Ruben was created originally in Omaha, Nebraska? I did not know that.

That's true. How about that? You wouldn't think it, would you? I would not have think that. Because Omaha never really occurs to you in any sense, in any, throughout your day. You never think about Omaha. But next time you have a Reuben, see a Reuben, smell a Reuben, Omaha, Nebraska. I think there's a poker, a variation of poker called Omaha. There is. Is there?

Yeah. Is it Texas Hold'em Omaha? No, I think it's a poker, a variation of poker called Omaha. There is. Is there? Yeah. Is it Texas Hold'em Omaha? No, I think it's Omaha. Is the game. Yeah, and it's, Texas Hold'em, you know, you know how that's played.

Yeah. If you get your cards, you have the flop. And then Omaha, you don't get cards. You get Rubens. That's how everybody gets five Rubens. You bet Rubens. And you bet Rubens. God, are you, if you looked in my internet history and I'm not, I'm not offering that, but you would see that I Googled yesterday.

I B use, you know how the beer menus will sometimes give you that I B you. Oh yeah. And I don't know what even I don't even it's the bitter units. Oh, I didn't know that. Have you ever seen those? Yes. Some of the beer menus at some of these breweries will say like this has a I B you of, and it gives you an indication of.

No. Yeah. And so I've learned this in my. I know ABV that's important to me because I don't want to get too fucked up. That's the- The alcohol content. Alcohol, right. And gravity. In the UK, they'll list the gravity and I think that's-

What does gravity mean? I think that's also the ABV. Something. I like that we're doing this with beer. It's getting so, so focused. Yeah. I, I like the beer. I, I find the, um, I find it a little annoying. The pretension behind it. Right. You know, I dream of the hefeweizen Francis Connor. Have you ever had that?

I don't, I'm not a Hefeweizen guy. I don't like wheat beer. I don't like wheat beer. I don't like the bitter IPA. Well, two can play this game, huh? I dream about it. Like, I've dreamt of drinking that beer. It's got kind of a, I don't like the aftertaste.

Banana, bubble gum. Oh, I don't get that at all. I get like a little sour. I know some people, they make sour ales and people like that. Those are not for me. Those are not for me either. We agree. Okay.

We agree. Well, I'm glad we were able to come out of here with some agreement. It's like Scientologists, you know, is taught to leave the conversation on an agreement. Is that how they do that? Yeah. Have you ever done one of those stress tests? I have not. Personality tests, I've done three, I've done four of them, I believe, for real.

I'm not joking. Like the Scientology one? Yeah. Okay, I would like, they always would sit on the suns or whatever it was, Hollywood Boulevard, I always thought I would do it, but nevermind. I went to the ASHA, the ASHA is there like like that was their tax dodge.

They created the sea work. It's the big blue building. I don't know if it's still there on like sunset in Vermont or something like that. Um, and, uh, uh, prior to that, I did it once in Boston. Um, I did it, uh, again in LA on at the, uh, celebrity center. I did Oshawa. So three times done it three times. And it's, it is the funniest thing to me because, you know, it hasn't changed.

And it's such nonsense blatantly. It's, it's called, I might be messing up a word or two, but it's basically the Oxford, I know that's in there, the Oxford standardized personality test, which doesn't make, they just made it up. They just made up, they threw on the word Oxford because he associated with a, with a dictionary or the university in England. Standardized personality test and then there are a hundred questions and they're all designed so that and they take your answers. It's yes, no, or maybe, or a lot. Although I can't remember exactly what it is. There's three options and it's either, oh no, it's sometimes, never, or often.

Okay. And, and they, it's all designed so that whatever you answer, they can come. And they did this to me, you know, and I go in there knowingly. Um, and they, they're, they basically show you on this graph that was spit out of a machine, right? So it's like you have your 50% mark and then, you know, 50 above, 50 below. And I mean, when they give me the test results, it's like, oh, you, I'm shocked you haven't committed suicide. Right.

Like it just, and it's all- So a machine gives the results to give it that standardized. Yeah. And it's like a graph, you know, it goes up and down and then, and it'll say, now I've been taking it in several years, but the, but the times I've done it. So I assume it hasn't changed much, but it's, uh, so the, it's like you yell at your parents and whatever you say, however you answer. And there's like a hundred questions that like you never yell at your parents. Well, that's not healthy because sometimes you yell at your parent.

You shouldn't. You always yell at your parents. That's terrible. Whatever the thing is. Right. Right. Right. So there's like that and then they give you the thing. And I've had my, I've used an E meter. I've had that. Oh yeah. An audit. That's the one, the thing. And I've had my, I've used an e-meter, I've had that. Oh yeah, that's the one to audit. Just out of curiosity, just out of adventuring into these worlds. Yeah. Yes. And so I have an e-meter at home. The Mark IV, I believe it's called, the Mark, M-A-R-K, and then Roman numeral IV, something, something, electrogram meter thing.

And it's got like, it's garbage. It's like made in China. It's nonsensical, right. And it's, they cost like $4,000. Really? Yeah, because they're, they're just, you know, it's like a Trump thing. Right. They're just suckering their, their, you know, it's like a Trump thing. Right. They're just suckering their, you know, and people buy it and they buy the volumes, books

and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. I used to go to that museum, not this, there's the Museum of Psychiatry. Oh, on Hollywood. On Hollywood, but I used to go to the museum of death. A few times. I don't know if it's still there, but. That's Scientology? No, the museum of psychiatry, I believe was Scientology funded.

Okay. Absolutely. So there was this like husband, wife couple that would do, that had the museum of death, which was on sunset. And I think it was on the set. It was it was like a collection of. Deathly things of. They played the faces of death movies. They had a remember when that.

You're you're 40, so you're old enough to know to remember when like that was a big deal. Yeah, I mean there was always a kid in your school that had a backpack with one of the tapes in them. Yeah, and then you, and some was clearly as you get older, like some was clearly stage bullshit, but the monkey, remember eating the monkey brains? I don't remember that one. Oh, how could you forget that one? I don't know if I saw that one, but I'm, there was like nine of these things, right? I remember this woman running to catch a train and, and it was said that

she was trying to get an earlier train to go home on a Friday to see her family. And she wasn't looking in the, I think I've seen that. Yeah. That I wish I honestly truly say much Wiped her out. Yeah. That I wish I honestly, truly say, much like some of those IPAs I forced myself to drink, I wish I never saw that. Right.

I wish I never saw that. There is one thing, there used to be a website and I was kind of into this stuff until I wasn't. You know, like. And there is a definitive point. Yes. Yeah. And like, I remember getting the Bud Dwyer tape. Okay. He was a state treasure for Pennsylvania

and held a press conference and shot himself on live TV. I remember that. And that's where the song, Nice Shot, that's what the song Nice Shot is about. For real. I don't know if you're telling the truth or not. I'm totally telling what the song Nice Shot is about. For real. I don't know if you're telling the truth or not. I'm totally telling the truth. Nice Shot is about Bud Dwyer.

Okay. I was like, oh man, this is rad. I was like, what? 1920. We used to trade tapes and stuff and moving on from Faces of Death, which was a lot of it was bullshit. And then there was a website, early, early reps website called. I believe it was called rotten.com.

Yeah. I'm getting it. Nah, I remember that. I remember some of this. I remember the last, you know, I saw some things were like, cause I saw the lady get hit by the train and like, Oh, this is terrible. And then I remember seeing something, this is going back and saying, I'm never going to this site again. I'm never doing it.

And I stopped, I just stopped, but it was a, uh, I believe it was a, a Russian soldier. He was either, uh, either, either anyway, I can't remember who was what faction was doing it to the other faction, but he was alive and they were sawing, decapitating him live. And it was, it was, yeah, you know, all these, you were jerking off to this. Um, I already come. Yeah. Uh, just the these. And you were jerking off to this. I'd already come. Yeah.

Just from the title. And then, you know, took the butt plug out and. Said, I will never watch this again. And said, I'll never, I'll never watch this again. Is what I said. We're laughing because it's, well, I'm going to have to explain why we're laughing. We're laughing because it's, well, I'm going to have to explain why we're laughing. We're laughing because it's funny. It was so depraved and awful and I was like, what am I doing?

This is, I mean, I think there was a thing with Faces of Death was almost like cartoonish. And you see some of these things and you've seen so much, uh, worse in fictional films, right? Horror films or whatever. And it was more graphic and it's more. And then, but, but, and then the idea that there were people going online who really got off on this shit was so disturbing and depressing. Like I'll never.

In college, somebody sent me those. I thought it was two different girls blowing a horse. Yeah. I haven't seen that. I don't know why. Here, it's on my phone right here. Do you wish you'd like to say, but I, so that's an example of something that I have seen.

I said, I don't ever want to see that again, but it, but it didn't affect me. Like the woman running for the train, but I am still remembering it. But yeah, some of these things, and maybe we weren't ready for the internet. I, I vaguely, bringing up rodin.com is. It was early, early. Yeah. And it was just the worst of the worst. It was.

People gleefully like, Oh man, fuck that dude. You know, and it's just so depressing. I remember being 12 or 13 and learning about JFK and really finding it fascinating how Lee Harvey Oswald was killed. That Jack Ruby photograph. Something about us as humans that really did something intriguing. Have you seen the, where they took that photograph and they put musical instruments in front of them? Oh, it's great.

It's really funny. Like they, I think Lee Harvey Oswald is singing, I want to say. And then Jack Ruby's, there's like a- Instead of being assassinated, it looks like they're playing. They just put, yeah, it looks like they're in a band. And then the guy, the sheriff, who's like, you know, the older white dude is like, you know, back like that is like playing,

maybe playing bass. I think I can't remember, but it's pretty funny. Faces of Death had a political assassination in it that was pretty gnarly too. Yeah. That was real? Yes. Because half of them were fake.

But you don't remember, oh, you might not have seen that. I don't know if I saw that one. So there was a- I'm sure I would have remembered it. It was like, it's narrated and, you might not have seen that. I don't know if I saw that. So there was I would have remembered it it was like it's narrated and you know in the jungles of whatever the the king when he has a visitor is has a feast and the Delicacy is live monkey brain and they have these monkey

Pads are you talking about Raiders Raiders of the Lost Ark? No, is that it? Was that what it was? Cause I would assume that- Am I conflating, conflating, because I know Spielberg directed the first three faces of death. Oh man. Um, all right.

Well, Michael, this has been a treat. You're, uh, um, pleasure. You're done talking for the day after this. Um, your pleasure to, well, this has been a treat. You're, uh, um, you're done talking today after this. Um, your pleasure to, well, I have a zoom call, um, pleasure to talk to. And, uh, the book is called lucky loser. That's right. And it's, um, why lucky? Well, it's a play on words and in tennis there, it's not really a play on words and in tennis there.

It's not really a play on words. Well, in tennis, if you lose in the last round of qualifying, meaning you do not qualify for the main draw, but somebody in the main draw pulls out of the tournament, on occasion, someone who lost. Oh. Will get entered in. And that person's called a lucky loser.

That makes sense. Okay. So, and then it's also like, I'm a loser because I couldn't make it in tennis, but I'm lucky because I made it in comedy or did I? And that's what we'll debate for years and what your YouTube commenters will discuss. We'll debate it for years. Yeah, for years. Wow, what goes on in that head of yours?

I appreciate you having me. Yeah, yeah. No, it was truly a pleasure. I appreciate it. Yeah, for a year. Wow. What goes on in that head of yours? I appreciate you having me. Yeah, yeah. No, it was truly a pleasure. I appreciate it. Yeah. I end every episode with asking a question for my seven-year-old daughter. Oh, that's fun. And she asks. She just comes up with a question. She'll go, I have a question for your podcast. I like that. I'm not at that point with my daughter yet where she could do that, but I'm excited. That's a good idea. I like that. Yeah, yeah. You said she's almost five? She's almost five. So she's starting to say funny stuff.

Oh my God. Very funny stuff. Yeah. That's the best, man. But one time when my daughter was three, three, yeah, three, she was coming down the stairs and she stopped in the middle and sat down. We were all like at the bottom of the stairs ready to go out. She came down the stairs, sat there and she goes, this is as far as I go. And like what? That was the most adult weird.

I love that. This is as far as I go. And like really like, hey guys, it was the funniest. And they're so, they're so genuine. It's exactly what she meant. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know where she got that or what. And then when she was around the same age,

she was asking about, you know, genitalia, different, you know, whatever. And so describing things and she goes, so a penis is like a silly vagina. Yeah, you could say that. That's a great description. Yeah. My daughter, we said, why aren't you asleep?

And she said, I'm asleep, but my eyes won't let me. And I go, you got, I, I, I've never heard anybody say that before, but I understand it. What does your wife do? She imports wine. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah. Are does your wife do? She imports wine. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah. Are you a wine guy?

Just through osmosis. That's how I consume it through osmosis. But, uh, you know, I've had a, I've had a conflict. It's the wrong word. My relationship with alcohol. I think the short answer is no. My relationship with alcohol has been all over the place and wine is something I enjoy from time to time, but I don't know a lot about it.

Yeah, I don't know a lot about it, but I know what I like. And this may come as a shock to you, I don't order a drink wine that I don't like. That doesn't shock me. I unfortunately keep ordering wine I don't like. Right. So I wanna hear your daughter's question.

Okay, here it is. Michael, my daughter would like to know, why do asteroids go so fast when they come to Earth, but they're not so fast when they're in space? I just was reading this Neil deGrasse Tyson book that answers space questions. And it's really fun to read because he could be totally bullshitting the whole thing. I don't fucking know. Yeah. I guess my short answer to your daughter is that's more about perception.

It seems like they're going faster near Earth than farther away in space, but I don't actually know. It's a very smart question. Your kid is very smart. Well, she doesn't know the answer, so she can't be that smart. That's true. You know the answer. Be crazier. You have an answer, so you're smarter than my- My answer is perception. David Cross's daughter. There you go. Yep. All right. Well, thank you very much. Thank you for having me, everybody. Absolutely. Sense is Working Over Time is a Headgum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer

Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchin for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum, visit Headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not gonna do that. Thanks for listening. That was a headgum podcast.