Senses Working Overtime with David Cross - Rachel Feinstein

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

Rachel Feinstein (Inside Amy Schumer) joins David to talk about ADHD, deadbeat dads, and more. Catch all new episodes every Thursday. Watch video episodes here.Guest: Rachel FeinsteinSubscribe and Rate Senses Working Overtime on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!Follow David on Instagram and Twitter.Follow the show:Instagram: @sensesworkingovertimepodTikTok: @swopodEditor: Kati SkeltonEngineer: Chris OsbornExecutive Producer: Emma FoleyAdvertise on Senses Working Overtime via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Is that where you want to sit? Sure, wherever you want me. Wherever you want to be. One of the red chairs. Okay, cool. I'll be here. Thank you. Why did you choose that?

Because I thought it would be farther away from the camera. Okay. Would you like us to, um, Like all the, uh, move the camera somewhere else? And just maybe get the top, like from the eyes up? No, no, I just have a big zit that my daughter reminded me of as I was leaving. And I was like, oh, that'll be farther away from the camera. Post! We'll fix it in post.

She's like mommy what is that? Why do you have that on your face? How old's your daughter? She's four. Oh, just turned eight. Literally a couple days ago. Yeah, I remember when she was born. You do? Were you there? Yeah, no not. Midwifing?

I think I saw Amber in a play or something. Oh yeah, right after, yeah, shortly. That's right. Oh, right near here, whatever that theater is that's over, yeah, down the street on 15th, I think. Yeah, yeah, it was- Do you want anything? water, coffee, juice? We don't have juice. Oh, soda.

Wait, there's some new, I don't know what podcast is doing, but there's, you can always tell when there's a new sponsor for somebody's podcasts, because there's, what's in there? Mike's Hard Lemonade. Oh. We got Mike's Hard Lemonade and then we got there's some other stuff in there like one of those silly new soda. You know how there's like, there was like. I love soda. There's like the regular sodas. And then all of a sudden like craft sodas started popping up and now there's like, you know, 29 different, you

know, artisanal sodas from a black owned female company. And anyway, we have one of those. I'll have any caffeinated thing if it's if it's easy to grab like a caffeinated soda anything. Sure. Thank you so much. Yeah, I mean, let's stick to the... let's dance with the one that brought you here, right? Coke-Cola. We don't need to get all fancy. There's nothing wrong

with Coke. It's still very good. I'll try the fancy one. If there's a fancy... I don't think there's caffeine. I don't think they have caffeine. Oh, yeah. I'll have Coke. You know. I love Coke. Yeah. Oh, here. Let me... So your daughter's off school too. She yeah, she's off school. So Totally forgot about this. Yeah What weren't you reminded yesterday when? No forgot it not this but that she was off school this week. Yeah, that's what I meant Like because of cuz but yesterday was President's Day Yeah, easily, you know, I don't know how you forget that holiday. It's probably the most

important holiday and the most fun, certainly. And who's your favorite president? That's a good question. Who did you celebrate yesterday? I've only got 47. The Kennedys were kind of fun. Well, there's just one. There's only one, yes. Yes. But yeah. How about you? Who's your favorite president?

Polk, I think. Wait, he wasn't the one who had gout, right? That was a different one? They all had gout. They just covered it up. They all had gout. I love that there's a disease that is 99% attributed to wealthy people. It's just, it's a rich person's disease.

It's a disease of excess and slovenliness. It's not exercising and eating way too much rich fatty foods. It's a foul pig swine. I know the pig and swine are the same thing, but it's a foul swine's disease. Is what? It's a foul, it's a disease of swinery.

Oh, I thought it was, but can't you get gout also from eating too many sweet friends? No, no, I just mean from being a pig. Oh, from being a pig, right. Yeah. Wait, you mean a cop or? But slovenly is one of my favorite words that you just use. Slovenly? I always call myself a sloven, which is not really a term, word, for being a pig, right. Wait, you mean a cop? Slavonly is one of my favorite words that you just use. I always call myself a Slavon, which is not really a term. That's not a thing.

But yeah. No, it should be. Whenever I'm being gangrenous or just generally disgusting, I'm always referring to myself as a Slavon. I wonder how Eric Sloan feels about that. Oh yeah, I forgot. Yeah. If anybody mispronounces the name. Eric Sloan is a very funny comedian writer for those of you at home. Yes, he is. Nice to be here. Well, thank you for coming in. You live in New York, yeah? I do. Yeah, I live in New York. I live in Queens in Massbeth. I feel like most people haven't heard of it. Have you heard of it? I've heard of Queens. That's the one where the airports are.

Yes. No, I mean, Massbeth. Yeah, I know. I know. I have heard of Massbeth. Oh, you have? Okay. Wait, is there a Massbeth in Long Island? Well, okay. There must be another one. It's Queens, but a lot of people have been like, no, it's Long Island. Oh, it's-

It is technically Queens, but some people have. I been like, no, it's Long Island, but it is technically Queens. But some people have, I think it sounds like it's in Long Island. A big part of Long Island is Queens. Yeah, so there was a debate about this recently where my husband was like, it's in freaking Queens. And I was like, I don't know, maybe we live in Long Island and I'm the last to know, but his firehouse is there.

And he's like, my firehouse is in Queens. It's in Queens. So I was like, oh, okay. But it does seem like it should be in Long Island. And it's like in the middle of nowhere. It's like not close to any subways. And it's a weird insular neighborhood of like these, like multi-generational like cop and firefighter families.

And I just feel like I'm a weird, I just feel strange there. You're an interloper? Yeah. It's not your place. It's like, it's just's just like, no, everyone drives and I take Ubers at strange, speaking of foul, like foul hours and I feel like I don't fit in there, but I'm trying hard to make mom friends.

How long you been there? It's been like over, it's been about two years, but it's just like- Oh, so relatively new, okay. Yeah, yeah. Well, it can take a little time, yeah. Where do you live? I live in Brooklyn, in Clinton Hill. Yeah, that's a nice area.

I live on literally the shittiest street in Clinton Hill, and it's infuriating because you just walk a block or you walk around the corner and It's like what a beautiful tree line, you know, very postcard kind of especially in the summer when all the branches meet Create that little canopy that you can walk down of the browns I mean they're all over and my street is because it's a You know, it's a it's a it runs really long north south and and it runs really long north-south and it's just adjacent to two bigger streets that

haven't been rezoned. They're gonna be rezoned. I think that should help a little bit. But it's fucking noisy, nonstop, trash everywhere. And it's also like there's a bit of a wind tunnel that runs through. So on trash day, it's helped that we have bins now, like every other fucking, the mayor was like, hey, look at what I did. 25 years later than fucking third world nations. Yeah, but it had been anyway. But all it takes is one person to not bin it and one rat or one person to go through and try to get the cans in the bottle. It just takes one of those things. And then there's just trash all over.

And there's just trash everywhere because it blows all down the street and there's all the little things that are around the trees to keep the trash out and stuff like that. And then it's like a nice little visual thing around the tree. And also, so, you know, dogs don't pee or shit in it, I think. But also, but all that shit gets stuck to the side and it just all congregates. And there's a no, there's, they're too big. It's an intersection and I'm three houses and one apartment, small apartment building,

away from the corner of the street. And there's no left turn onto this major street. And so, and other streets converge. And it's just from about three o'clock until seven. It's just like, eh, eh, eh, you know, that's not helping, that's not gonna make. I know, I always think it's so fascinating when people are just. That horn right now is not going to enact a law

that changes the no left turn. So your horn doesn't affect the signage here. My dad used to do that. And I was like, you're just definitely an asshole. Like, you can't do that. Yeah, he would just lean on his horn. And he was so furious every time he encountered the same pretty predictable traffic.

Actually, my parents were like, they were engaged. And she said that right after they got engaged, that they took some sort of long drive. They like got engaged. Like I do that before you get engaged. What's that? You gotta do that before you get engaged. I guess you do, yeah.

Cause she said you got in some traffic and then he was like, you know what? We're not doing this. Forget it, it's not happening, Karen. She was like, come on, please. She started weeping and then she was like, no, I'm done. And we're not getting married. And then as soon as the traffic cleared up, he was like, come on, please. She started weeping. And then she was like, no, I'm done. And we're not getting married. And then as soon as the traffic cleared up, he was like, hey, all right.

Jesus. Yeah, he's a lunatic, Howie. Well, that's what the horn is for. It doesn't, I mean, in different places it works differently, but here it's just, I'm angry. I'm frustrated. And then we gotta deal with that shit. I know, it's like any rogue emotion that comes up.

Do you get pissed off when you're in traffic? I can't really drive, so. I do, yeah. Is that a moment where you'd get, like, will you lose your temper in those moments? Not like that. I mean, I do, I definitely, you know, kind of classic, you know, muttering,

like, come on, this fucking asshole doing, you know, that kind of classic, muttering like, what this fucking asshole doing? You know, that kind of stuff. And I did, about a year ago, it was just me and my daughter and there was something happening in Chinatown. And anytime you have to go down canal, although I gotta say that congestion pricing, I don't know, you don't really drive, but down, I mean, it's cut easily 15 minutes off

of drive time, like getting to the Holland Tunnel. That is kind of a smart thing. I mean, it's really- It's really, I've noticed it several times now, like, wow, that's great. Yeah. And anyway, but there was something happen. All the cars were just sort of there,

like what you imagine in India. Like just, there's no lane, no people trying to turn. And it's just, and it was a fucking nightmare. And I ended up, and my daughter was in the car, I just put my car in park and went up to this guy who was just sitting there, not turning. Like you need to turn, you have to be aggressive. And he went up, banged on his window,

and just was like, hey man, you got, you, this is all because of you now, all right? And- What was his vibe, what did he say? He was, I think a little shook, but also understood. And I was like, that honking is about you, that's you. You need to, they'll let you in eventually. You've gotta be aggressive here.

And eventually, you know, he did it because there was no, you know, he did it because there was no, you know, sometimes they'll have That's nicer than a lot of people would talk to him for somebody that if you're going to go up to somebody's car, like he's not going to hear like that's pretty I need those voices in my head sometimes like that's because of you. That's something I had a guy I just remember this I've forgotten about this until just this moment, but I was in LA and a guy hit me. Like hit, like I rolled my window down and he was like, it was a, he was either like German or Austrian or Belgian or something. But he,

he was an older guy. He and a younger guy, I'm going to assume it was his son, were in front of me. And I can't remember what, there was some minor thing that I might've been, I might've like cut them off a little bit or something that was nothing major, but like a dict, you know, nobody was in danger or anything. Well, and they were in front of me and they honked and then I just smiled and waved at him like hi.

And then the guy, it was a red light, he got out of his car, came over, I rolled my window down, like this ought to be, oh. But it was like a slap, it wasn't even a... Oh, I thought you meant hit your car. No, no. He fucking hit you? Yeah, he wasn't like a closed fist thing,

it was like when a grandpa gets angry. That's what the fuck and they walk back to his car and like, well, all you did was wait if I could but that infuriated more than that made him angry. Yeah, this guy's not taking my anger seriously. Wow. Did he say anything when he smacked you? That's out. That's I honestly don't remember because it was such a shocker. It didn't hurt. Yeah. I love stories like that because they make me feel so stable. I'm like, oh, I don't have the slightest impulse to get out of my car and smack a person. I should give myself

credit for that. But he doesn't know a thing about me. This was, I'm gonna say, 25 years ago. So I was younger and not, you know, he doesn't know a thing about me. Like I could have a gun in the car, it's LA. And, or I could have been, you know, I could have been ripped, you know, and then jumped out of the car.

I could know Krab McGraw, you know, whatever. That's a funny thing to say to somebody in English. I know Krab McGraw! I could have Krav Magrav, you know, whatever. That's a funny thing to say to somebody in anger. I know Krav Magrav. I could have been ripped. I could be jacked for all you know. But it's a crazy sway. It's just so fascinatingly insane. And what did you do back?

Did you say anything? I don't remember. I honestly, I don't think I said anything and he got, it was just such a like, wow, that was fucked up. And then, you know, by then he's in his car and the light turned green. But it was like, wow, that was crazy.

Yeah. You know? That really does make me feel like I'm in control. He was an older dude. He was like, I mean, I'm going to guess, you know, 65, 70. Sometimes these guys are the craziest. Yeah. Yeah. Like I feel like my dad is God knows what he's up to in his car. My brother looked up him up on some kind of like website where you can see where people, people's like, I

guess criminal things. And my dad had like a few hit and runs that he hadn't told any of us about. Hit and run? I believe so. Maybe I should be saying this on a podcast. There were some complaints. I'm not really sure exactly what they were, but it was, they were hit and run, run-esque complaints. Like, yeah, he's been up to things.

Like we are all like, nobody can drive with dad. Like we are not. Vehicular homicide? He's got paint on his nose., no, no, not at people. But I think like parked cars at like the mall or something. He's got some paint in his car. He's got like this old school- So he's not a good driver.

Like 90 year old, like yeah, grocery getter. No, he's not, he's unhinged and nobody should be in the car with him. Or around him or in just near him when he's operating a vehicle. He's like pretty sweet when he's not in the car. Howie Feinstein is a nice man. He's always volunteering for some liberal cause, but when it comes to him in the car, get your kids out of these like Proud Boy marches. Just go down there. I've got some, you know, just give them some shopping lists or something and then see what happens. He's always like, it's funny because he's always, he would be good in that scenario, I guess. Yeah,

because when something about driving, I don't know, it doesn't mix with some men. He's not an emotional guy. I've never even seen him cry except for like at the baseball hall of fame, but not at my wedding, not a tear. He crashed into the baseball hall of fame in Cooper. He was going to Cooperstown and just rammed right through the front doors. Oh no, the Ernie Banks exhibit. I love that you know, are you into baseball?

Very much, yeah. Yeah. So what's your teams? Wow, teams with an S, plural. That's a rare question. And I do have two teams. Do you? Which ones are you?

I do. Because my dad has two teams, too. I feel like real big baseball fans have a case for having two teams. Well, I do. I grew up in Atlanta, as a Braves fan. And then I moved to Boston, and it's almost impossible to live in Boston

and not be a Red Sox fan. And because they were American league, and this is before inter-league stuff, I was like, oh, I can be a fan of both, that's easy. Yeah. And so I was a Braves fan going way back. And then, and I also, when I was a kid, I loved Dwight Evans and Jim Rice.

And I mean, there were, I was just way into baseball. So Carlton Fisk, Yastremski, I mean, there were just guys that on the Red Sox that I loved. And it was so classic, like the Braves were kind of, the teams were good but the fans are boring and the stadium was boring and to go to Fenway and like in the middle of the city and I my first apartment was I don't know seven blocks away from there and you could cut through the fence. Do you take your daughter to see baseball? I took her to see a cyclones game and she had a blast. But I think that was more, in fact not I think, I know it was more about...

Snacks? It was about all the things that surround the game. Yeah, yeah, that's how I was. They're not, the players aren't, it's not an exciting game. But you ride on the boardwalk, Coney Island, and, and as the sun sets, you know, everything lights up at Luna Park and all the rides and everything. So, and because it's a, you know, single A minor league team, there's just constant stimulation. There's, there's, there's not a quiet moment, there's no organ. It's just like every, you know, music for the batter,

do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, you know? And then the guy, their mascot is some weird, he wears a suit, like a brightly colored suit, but then a king hat. He's like, I'm king, whatever the fuck it is. And there's, you know, dancers and cheerleaders and giveaways and cons. Excuse me.

I remember being just completely fascinated by it all. Like my dad would take me to Orioles games a lot. And. Oh, you're from Baltimore. Yeah, we grew up in Maryland. Yeah. And, but he was also a San Francisco Giants fan because he grew up in, he was born in Queens

and then his family moved, I guess, around the same time the Giants fan because he grew up and he was born in Queens and then his family moved, I guess, around the same time the Giants moved. So now he has a scrapbook that he's made of San Francisco Giants and their accomplishments, I guess. And it's like 300 pages and he's always driving back and forth to the library to Xerox things. Isn't that the most ancient word you've ever heard? So he's always just like, I gotta get this done for the scrapbook. And he always acts like he's on a stiff deadline. Like people, like, like no one's waiting for this.

Well, he's got a, you know, the San Francisco Giants team is about to retire. He wants to give it to them at the retirement ceremony up on the dais. And I believe the retirement ceremony is gonna be in the, I believe the wood grain room of the Holiday Inn off of, it's kind of in like Fairfax. Wait, I didn't even know this.

Yeah, yeah. Is this true? No. Okay, I believed you. Why? That's how little I know about baseball. I was like, oh, they're gonna be done. It's a multi-billion dollar business.

That is one of the dumbest things I've ever said. I run kind of dumb. I was hoping I wouldn't say something really stupid here today. It's a multi-billion dollar business. And you think they're gonna have a retirement party. I run kind of dumb. I was hoping I wouldn't say something really stupid here today. That was pretty stupid. Because I feel like you run smart and I run kind of dumb. And I was like, just get it together. Like get a few facts under your belt.

But I fully believed you. Somebody will say something to me in a serious voice. And I'm like, okay, that's immediately my new reality. And whenever like a clip goes viral of some like bimbo saying something really dumb, I always feel for her because in those key moments where I need my mind, it just closes like a box. Yeah, I remember that.

I mean, it was demonstrably one of the dumbest things ever, but that I did feel bad for that. That blonde lady. The South Carolina. Yes, I felt bad for her. I was like that I did feel bad for that South Carolina. Yes, I felt bad for her. I was like, I could see myself doing that. Yeah. But just like my mind, just like saying a bunch of things

that were. Yeah, you're on this big national stage spotlight. I mean, part of the idea is like, you're supposed to be prepared for that, ready for that. But, but, and that was a doozy of an answer, but yeah, you can't help it, like, oh. Like, I'm sure. My friends and I went out to go see a magician

the other night because it was one of my friends I went, grew up with, it was his birthday, and we all, he was really into magic, so we surprised him with this weird room where there's like all these magicians and they come to your table and they do stuff with you. And it was actually amazing. In Massbeth?

It was, no, it was here in, it was here in Manhattan. Like you go through this like laundry mat and it, but it's not really a laundry mat. And then the guy like takes you behind him. It was kind of cool. And then, and the magicians were pretty funny actually. And they come to your table and they sit with you anyway. And then they, they look at me and I'm like,

just no trivia because like my mind will shut down. And and I'm like, just no trivia because like my mind will shut down and they were just like, just name a city. And I couldn't name a fucking city. I said, I think I said Pennsylvania and the whole table just laughed for like, that was just the joke the entire night. My mind just closes. It's like, nope, sorry, we're not going to do this. I knew they were going to ask me a question. I's like, nope, sorry, we're not gonna do this. I knew they were gonna ask me a question. I was like, fuck. So that isn't dumb. I mean, it sounds like it's dumb.

It's just an incredible brain fart thing. And it happens like you'll be watching Jeopardy or playing trivia or something. And then there's something like, oh, I fucking know this, I know this. And you can't think of it. And you've got, you know, several seconds, you know, half a minute, a minute, and like, fuck, oh God.

And then you hear the answer and you're like, of course. Yeah. I knew that. Yeah, exactly. And you know it. Yeah, that happened. And also I think it's cause I was like a wild moron in school, so I just like anything that feels like school, my brain just shuts down. So how did you get smart when you got smart?

How did you learn? I still feel like I get credit for being smart because I'm like sarcastic and Jewish, but I don't really have a tremendous amount of information at pay. It's just intuitive to the- I mean, I feel like I'm maybe like emotionally a little intuitive, but in terms of, yeah, information, I feel like I run pretty thin.

But I mean, I never went to college. I got like Ds and Fs. There was just a lot of meetings about me constantly getting scanned. My parents would argue about my scans all the time. My mom's a therapist. What's a scan, like a CAT scan? Brain scans. They would brain scan me all the time.

So you were getting CAT scans because of school? Yeah, it was like emergency down, that's what I'm saying. I was like, it was a household emergency. EEG, is that what it's called? E-K-G-E-E-G. I see, I don't even know the difference. Oh, I thought it was a cat. What's for the heart of the Quincy?

Not a cat, what am I thinking of? The one with suction cups is the one that I got routinely. Oh no, in somebody's garage? Yeah, that's made up. They're not, that's not a real thing. When they put suction cups and you're in somebody's garage, that's, you're so dumb, they exploited that. My mom was like a therapist

and I feel like all her energy went into scanning me. I remember waking up once and they were arguing about me and my mom was like, she's not normal Howard shit. And it was, my dad was like, well, scan her again. We'll keep scanning. So it was your parents' idea or the school's idea? I think the school was like, I went to like speech, every extra service I could get, I was always being like softly like whispered out

by some lady named like Judith or something was always taking me out of the classroom. So I got all the extra services, but still they were pretty stumped. And they would decide that I had certain things and then they would scrap it and start all over again. So one of the things they thought I had was this, this, I don't even know if it's still a disorder,

but it was called figure ground where you can't decipher between one person speaking in a sea of voices. Like you can't hear, literally can't hear the teacher's, which is complete bullshit. Cause of course I can hear, I just like, wasn't compelled to listen for whatever reason. But, and they thought, my mom's like, she's got figure ground. I remember she was always on the phone talking about me. She'd be like, she's got figure ground. That's what it is. always on the phone talking about me. She'd be like, she's got figure ground. That's what it is, we figured it out.

That's gotta affect your self-esteem, I would imagine. Overhearing this, knowing all this, keep going like, I'm dumb and they don't know why I'm dumb and they're trying to figure out why I'm dumb is a thing that you're taking away from that. And that's a terrible thing for a kid to have to deal with. Yes. No, obviously I'm unwell.

Yeah, there's a lot of business. And so was anything discovered? Was any kind of? I had like ADD, but like, you know, I mean, I think a lot of people say they have ADD now, but not to the level that I have it, you know, like it's kind of more popularized. Yeah, but like I had like, and I still am like this.

I don't have celiacs disease, but I kind of do. So I don't eat gluten because I sorta have it. Not really, not, I mean, they say, like it doesn't show up, but I have it like in my brain. My brain has it. All right, yeah. Yeah, that's how like, I feel like a lot of people say that now.

They're like, oh, but I'm like, I would leave things like everywhere. I still do this, like the most confusing things, like my daughter's like, we had a little meeting at her preschool and I left like my debit card, my passport, like I leave suitcases. So I just have- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you leave suitcases?

I've left a whole suitcase just like by the, like I'm about to board a plane, I just leave it by the plane. I've done that a couple times, yeah. It's not good. Wait, you leave it like by your seat where you're sitting, your carry-on, no. What?

Like I'm about to board the plane and I just leave the suitcase there and just go off to Kansas or whatever. Oh boy. It's not good. It's a real pain in the ass to deal with me. Like I'm a hassle. How does your husband? Because I lose other people's things,

I would infuriate him. He's like runs a real tight like military OCD, you know, he's a fire captain. Wow, you guys are not meant to be together. No, of course not. He also is just enraged about it all the time. I'm like, this is me, you signed on for this. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's the same really as me expecting some kind of emotional aptitude for like, I'm him to be like emotionally present and he's like an emotional desert. And I'm just like, we have to, can we discuss one thing? Yeah. Oh my Lord.

But no, he's always, again, it's very upset with me. I'm better now. I don't blame him. Of course, no, it's in reason. Because also you're an adult and I guess that- I was hoping you'd say that to me today. But the thing is- I'm better now, okay?

I haven't lasted a suitcase in a long time. You're better now because, finish the sentence. Because of medication and therapy and working on myself in different ways, whatever that means. So you figure, but what's the thing that makes you, because I doubt it's medication that makes you go, oh, I've been leaving my suitcases by the door of the plane.

I'm going to do something that will ensure that I don't do that anymore or do it less. And what's that thing? I think that was really an emotional fog as well. So I do feel like going to therapy for a long time, you kind of, that fog gets lifted, you know? Like I think when you're kind of like not processing things, you're just going around like a, you know,

like you're bat shit crazy, honestly. So I think like therapy had helped me because, you know, you just kind of learn to let go of certain things and not to, and I do think that when you grow up with always kind of apologizing or over-apologizing for, you know, feeling like I've definitely felt like I was just, I mean, I've obviously learned to think of this a little differently, but I was just responsible for everybody's pain in the whole family. If I wasn't so damn dumb that everybody wouldn't be so stressed, they'd get better sleep, you know. Oh, that's terrible. That's quite a burden. That's the thing your mom and dad have in those conversations. And like, we got a scanner.

I know. Scanner again, figure out why she's dumb. You know, that's gotta affect you. Of course, yeah. Now, even when I smell a school, it takes me back to those like feelings and memories about what school meant to me. So I'm so determined for my daughter

to have a vastly different experience. And where you, did you grow up in suburbs or rural? I grew up in the or rural or city? I grew up in the suburbs in Bethesda. And my dad, I mean, they were really good people, my parents, I don't think they realized how much of this I was absorbing, but you know. Yeah, probably.

Yeah, but I mean, he's my dad, my mom's a therapist, my dad was a civil rights lawyer and a blues musician. And so they were kind of like very focused on other people's trauma, you know, and I think they always realize. God, you're right. That's, that's, uh, it's interesting. It's, it, you know, in that kind of physician heal thyself way that they're doing all this stuff externally and in their home, there's a kid and they're not even aware like of what the, what the consequences of this kind of thing could be later.

Yeah. Especially for a therapist. I think that my mom thought she was helping me. She was just at her wits end trying to help me. But I think there could have been a little bit more maybe structure within the home and some- And do you have brothers and sisters? I have two brothers. He had an older brother and a younger brother, yeah. Oh, and the middle kid too, which also has its own shit.

I do remember, like, I would go to school and like my hair would be wet a lot and it would be dripping down my back a lot. And then people at school would be like, call me wet back. And then my mom thought it was like a racial slur. And so she was always like just ready to, like nothing invigorates my mom more

than institutionalized racism. And that's all she wants to talk about is like racial suffering, you know? And I'm like, no, my back is wet. Like they're not calling me a wet, they're not calling me like a Mexican slur. They're calling, my back's wet. They're trying to help me out.

But my mom was already like up in arms about that. And, but I was also like, well, why was my back wet? Like, why wouldn't people help me? So I just remember everybody just being like, what Rachel for crying out, and I'm like, but I can't imagine just sending my kid with like a wet back to school. Like I should have just been gotten up earlier.

They should have gotten me up. You know what I'm saying? Like, I think there was a little bit like, they saw my mom, I feel like she always kind of was looking like this. And I'm like she always kind of was looking like this. And I'm like, you kind of should have been a little more in charge and not as afraid of me because then I sort of felt like I was

some kind of gangrenous monster. But this all turned into ultimately, you're a really sharp, clever stand-up with really good material. I saw your special, I really enjoyed it. And not just for this show, not for the podcast. I saw it a while ago and really, really enjoyed it. And also you're a very good impressionist.

Oh, thank you, that means a tremendous amount from you. And that, just when you're doing like, you know, your mom and dad or various people, it's really like spot on, like you've got those people down. And it's not just a matter of like, you know, like, I'm going to interrupt myself here for a second, but it occurred to me just walking down the street the other day, I haven't seen a song parodiest, is that how you say it? In standup, like it's a, I haven't seen one since like I was doing standup, like in the clubs.

Yeah. Like you just don't see the people doing, bringing a guitar up there and doing. Yeah, you don't, you're right. I remember Rob Paravonian, and I don't remember a lot of people that did that though. Yeah, you're right. There were a handful of people,

I mean, but in 80s and early 90s, but I just haven't seen one in a long time. Yeah. Interesting, anyway. But it's not like, your impressions aren't like, Like in 80s and early 90s, but I just haven't seen one in a long time. Yeah. Interesting. Anyway, but it's not like, you know, your impressions aren't like, yes, you do sound like Woody Allen, like with, and there's no material behind it. And obviously, you know, there's a lot of your stuff is about the kind of contradictory nature of your relationship with your husband,

who is as you just, you know, complete opposite. Yeah. And with, I don't know what the culture is like, fireman culture. I certainly prefer to police culture, but is there having a brassy, loud, jokey, sarcastic wife? Is that, are you- He's strangely like, sorry, were you gonna ask me? Are you, is that a, are there like, are there more of you in the fireman wives brigade?

Oh, fireman wife. I feel like there's like a lot of strong women, but I don't feel like we have Are there more of you in the firemen wives brigade? Oh, firemen wives. I feel like there's a lot of strong women, but I don't feel like we have that much in common, a lot of us. There's not a ton of, I feel like you should have married, I don't know, a nurse or an esnetician. Yeah, like named Gina or something.

Yeah, we don't have a ton of crossover. I feel like they tend to run a tighter ship and they have to be kind of sturdy, like for a lot of different reasons. A lot of them are nurses and that's a hard job, but they're definitely not like, you know, they're, you know, a lot of them are very Catholic and you know, and they're like Catholic, you know, like I'm always like at a baptism now

for like some Lieutenant named Anthony or something. Like, I don't know, like it's a totally different world from everything that I come from. I just describe my parents, you know, like my mom is like never not at a march. Like I just remember her always making signs. Even the artwork in our house was like, Steve Biko did not die in vain.

It was just all like black men carrying coffins in like every room, you know? So our families are like white. They should move to New Orleans. Wait, what did you say? They should move to New Orleans. My dad, we would go to New Orleans every year for the Jazz Fest, because now he's a full-time And there's plenty of black men carrying coffins.

You're right, yeah. He'd be right at home, Howie. How do your folks get along with your husband and vice versa? I feel like my mom loves, it's funny you say, my mom loves Pete because he's, first of all, we call it pain chambering, but she always loves to get to the bottom of somebody's trauma, you know? And so she's always kind of trying to pain chamber Pete,

which he's- Pain chamber. I call it pain chambering, my brother's like- That sounds like the name of a metal band on an 80s sitcom. It does. No daughter of mine's getting, well, I don't care, you're not going out dressed like that. like the name of a metal band on an 80s sitcom. No daughter of mine's getting, I don't care, you're not going out dressed like that.

I don't care, pain chamber. You're right, it does seem like somewhere, like it's like a pretend metal band, they go to it like saved by the bell or something. Yeah. No, I've used the term, it's not a real term, but to refer to like whenever my mom has somebody in a long conversation about a neighbor's illness,

it could be like a neighbor's colon cancer. My mom loves to update other people about really dark medical information about someone they've never met in the first place. And so she loves to pain chamber Pete because she figures now she can talk to him about the neighbor's insulin issues and stuff like that. And she kind of does this thing with her eyes

where she sort of locks you in and she goes full chamber. And Pete, like he's, it's fascinating because you can't pain chamber Pete. He doesn't even know what happened to him. Like it's anyone's guess if he was molested. No one knows, you know what I mean? So you can't, so she just loves to kind of get at Pete because she knows that he's experienced some shit

because, you know, they see stuff on the job and you know. So she's always trying to kind of get at Pete, because she knows that he's experienced some shit because they see stuff on the job. So she's always trying to kind of just, if you talk about your trauma with my mom, she'll do like a horror crawl towards you. She has like a leg up. She's always tried to pain chamber Pete. And Pete wants nothing with this, by the way. He's always like, your mom tried to chamber me

in the kitchen again. Like we were away this summer at a beach house and he was like, yeah, your mom pain chambered me. You were nowhere in sight. My mom like talked to him for like 30 minutes about this woman that she doesn't even know personally who died in some horrific way. By the way, this is her favorite story. It's just somebody went up in a hot air balloon and it just broke and they all perished. I'm like, it's so fucking haunting. And my mom will tell that to anyone that will listen. There's no story to tell.

There's no story. It's just somebody went up and they died immediately in a hot air balloon. Yeah, that's it. And that's the part she wants to get to and really jazz out. There's nothing to get behind. It sucks. You're right.

It doesn't have enough ingredients as a story. I once texted my mom, how are you? And I swear to God, this was her exact answer. And then she was like, did I tell you that, you know, Muriel's daughter, Aliyah, had a tongue procedure? Her tongue is curled on the left side and that both parents are frazzled and pretty overwhelmed by this and pretty afraid about the consequences of some of these test results they're going to get. I don't know who any of these people are. That was, how are you?

You went into a third party's tongue procedure. Oh yeah. So- Stop asking how she is. I know, you can't, you can't ask my mom that because she'll just tell you about- Just a statement. Hi mom, assume you're doing good.

That's right. That's what I need to do. You can't be anything with a question. Cause then, and then if I tell her I don't want to talk about these people I don't know particular details of their diseases, then she's a victim. Well, I guess I'm the bad guy. Then she'll start weeping or something. Yes, you are the bad guy. I mean, in a relative sense, you're not horrible, but in this scenario, you are the bad guy.

You are. My little sister as, and no one else in my family does it, but my little sister is one of those, will have a, it's the same kind of thing, but will have a 10 minute long monologue about all about people I don't know, I haven't met and I will never meet.

Because Tonya at work, she was all like... And Mr. Bentley came over and he had said, you better hush up or you're going to get fired. And Tonya came over and Tanya was with Princess and you know, Princess had to go, because she didn't get her vacation time and just like, what? I don't know any of these people. Is this your sister? Yeah, my little sister. I have two younger sisters, but she's the youngest. Wow, wow. But you have no accent whatsoever, but she has like a thing. I don't, yeah, she's, well, I was born in Atlanta and then moved around a bunch of places and moved every single year.

And then was in from like six, seven, or seven, eight, nine was in New York, in Connecticut. Maybe six, seven, eight, nine. Then when I was nine, moved back to Georgia where I stayed, but I was old enough and I kind of rejected it all and you know, Julie I think would have been five, four and a half, five. And then my other sister Wendy would have been seven. Were you in the middle too? No, I'm the oldest.

And so they picked up the accent, but I also was angry about having to move back down there. I was happy where I was. Were they in the army, one of your parents? No, my dad just got fired all the time. All alone. And then he would just move everywhere. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah, I mean, we, yeah. And he was one of those guys, he's, I'm estranged from him, but he, he was one of those, one of those guys, like nothing was ever his fault. You know, I, you can't fire me, I quit. And then, you know, like, well, no, I mean, you can quit, but there's nothing to quit,

because I already fired you. Doesn't work that way. Yeah, yeah. You can't fire me, no, you're fired. I just fired you. I mean, you can quit, I guess you can try to get the job back and then you can quit, but you're not gonna get the job back, because I just fired you. quit, I guess you can try to get the job back and then you can quit,

but you're not going to get the job back because I just fired you. I'm the opposite. It'll be on your record and I'll look at your record. I walk into rooms apologizing. Man, that's such a fascinating, like I'm always like, I'm sorry I'm here. Yeah, like, just fascinating. My dad is- The opposite.

He won't know accountability. None, zero. It's interesting because you seem very much the opposite and grounded and a very good dad. Well, yeah, he affected my life in a, you know, the negatives have, you know, hopefully made me, I think they have, I think there's enough time is gone in this kid experiment to say it's at least a success so far. But yeah, I mean, I'm there, I'm present, I'm, you know.

Accountable and reflective. Accountable, and I try to, you know, pass that on to our daughter. Yeah, it was, it was like, we moved every, I mean, literally every year from. It's crazy. And then he, we moved down to Roswell, Georgia, and then he left, I don't know, a year later maybe. And he left, he went to Arizona, you know, because he knew a guy who knew a guy. Were you angry when he left or were you relieved or both? Oh, I wasn't relieved at all. I didn't, I still had like dad worship until I was probably like 13, 14.

Like I really. That makes sense. Of course you're a little kid, you don't know. Yeah. And he was funny. He was a really funny gregarious guy. Not that bright. The exact opposite of my mom, who's very anti-social

and doesn't care to have a bunch of friends, has one or two friends, that's fine, reads all the time, really smart, socially awkward, and capable of being funny, but that's not her thing. My dad was very performative funny and got me into comedy, but not a bright guy. And you became really successful? Did he reach out or try to reach? He... Because I had a... There was a phone call. I had gone... This is a long, long story and it's too long to tell here, but I went... I was working in Tampa Bay at some

I was working in Tampa Bay at some shitty comedy club there. And it was, so I was there for a week and I'd gone down with my friend Matt from high school. And I was opening and he was living in Fort Myers, which I, you know, two and a half, three hour drive, something like that. Yeah, I know. And he's like, and I told him and he's like, oh, that's so exciting. I'm gonna get a, get me a table. I'm gonna bring a bunch of people from the restaurant. He was working at this restaurant. And we'll all come up.

I will, we'll come up on Wednesday. Great, awesome. Reserve a table. Joe comes and goes. He never shows up. And this is back, you know, payphone time, you know. So I'm, hey dad, so what's going on? Yeah, so sorry, I got slammed, wasn't able to.

But tonight I'll be able to come tonight. And this went on. And he had also said like, hey, you know, after your run, cause it was, you know, it was winter. I remember that. So there's no nothing going on. You know, I'm going to take you and your friend out. You can come to the restaurant and you can eat, you know, well, all that stuff and come down and hang out in Fort Myers. Great. So the week, again, there's way more detail to this, but the week goes on, he never shows up. And that's right. And I end up going down to his place, driving down, it's like, as I said, it's almost three hours, which adds three hours back to Atlanta on the drive and with my friend and we go to his apartment

and he's not there. And we end up, you know those kind of, you see them a lot in Florida, those windows that you kind of crank open, they're like little Venetian blind, but they're glass, like frosted glass. So he had one of those in his bathroom. And I remember taking each piece off one by one

and climbing through, my dad's not there, opening the door, crashing on the couch. He comes in completely disheveled at like 6.30 AM in a tux, like a suit. And he's completely disheveled and sees us. And he's like, oh, and then comes up with the craziest lie you've ever heard, which was he was stuck on a sandbar on Christopher Walken's boat with his girlfriend,

I believe, Donna Mills. Good God, this is wild. And there's more to it, there's more to it. In fact- Was he an alcoholic or just like a sociopathic liar, pathological liar? That's part of- Narcissist's line.

It's part of my, like I'll never be suckered by a guy like Trump. Like I can see through Trump easily. And it's like, oh, that's my dad. He's, you know, everything is somebody else's fault and da da da da. And I don't know how the multitude of things that you have to look past that are clear, blatant lies or based on narcissism

or whatever it is with Trump, I mean, the hundreds of thousands of examples. But I just, I mean, back when he was talking about running, like this guy is a liar and he's a liar, like I know that kind of personality. That breaking point. Now, my dad's not a petty evil guy. He doesn't care about revenge or any of that shit and he's not racist. But he's all about himself and things are transactional everything's, you know, things are transactional.

Insanely selfish, not really capable of empathy, right? I mean, he can talk a good game. Because I can't understand doing it to a kid. It upsets me so much when something I thought was gonna be true turns out not to be and I always make such an effort to explain to my daughter, like this is the factor that I know I thought that was gonna happen, but here's why.

It's so important to me. I can't imagine just like- The shit that my sister Wendy and I found out, A, just out of becoming older and more experienced and going, oh, that thing that we witnessed, that wasn't this, that was that. And explanations for different people's behavior around us from when we were kids, like, oh, the reason that lady tossed

you off your big wheel and then threw it at me and said, you goddamn brats, in a thick Southern accent, you goddamn brat, no wonder your father left you. Like, oh, now we know the reason for that. The lady who lived downstairs. Like, it was just we, as we got older, there were all kinds of things like, oh, they, those guys weren't stealing the car. They, that was, that car belonged to them. And it was repossession. Yeah. Oh, right. Like all kinds of, yeah, they're, they're. Thank God you have a sibling, because I feel like when you don't have a sibling and you're the only one, I mean, like Jessica,

Kirsten, you know Jessica, she always says like a lot of comics were like the truth tellers in their family. Like they wanted people to deal with reality, you know, and people when somebody in the family was resistant or whatever, but like thank God you have a sibling to like, to just sift through all this with, because at least then you can be like, you can figure it out together.

Oh yeah, and we did. And one that wants to do that, some people just wanna live in whatever facade their parents created or whatever. Yeah, I mean, I go way back to the, to circle back to the thing about the estrangement was, so I'd come back from Tampa Bay, which is if you ever, I can't remember, I think it's on my first special on HBO, I think, The Pride is Back, I believe, but I have this story about the

funniest thing I've ever seen about an elephant pissing on people. And that took place during this week, like when I was in Tampa Bay to do stand up. Anyway, but yeah, so he called the apartment that we all lived in and Julie answered the phone, talks for a minute and then she's like, David, it's dad. Dad wants to talk to you. And I said, oh, tell him I'm done and I'm not speaking to him again. And she says something to, you know, on the phone and he goes, she goes, he said, that's okay, because the only time you ever talked to him is to ask for money. Which is so insanely not true and hurtful. And in that like Trumpian sense, like, oh, that's the one thing this motherfucker could say that would hurt me. Like, there's nothing else.

this motherfucker could say that would hurt me. Like there's nothing else. Yeah and also you're his son. Like you're like. But it's also not true. First of all yeah it's not true I'm sure but then also like. He owes me money. He stole from me. He took my bar mitzvah money. He stole your bar mitzvah money? He no he asked for it.

Yeah. He said he said I so he was coming back to Atlanta. He, we, I was, this is a long, such a fucking long story, Rachel, but it's, but he asked me for money for a down payment on a, to live in an apartment. And, and I, that was probably when I was 13, 14. And that was probably when I was 13, 14.

And then I got it back in the form of, there was a school trip, so this had been four years later. And school trip to New York. And I needed money for the trip. Sure. And he gave, you know, my mom had saved some, you know, gave me a couple hundred bucks for everything. There's a hotel and the bus and it's a school trip. And he's like, I'll help you out, I'll help you out.

And then he gave me that money as we were going onto the bus. He's like, here, here's the money I took from it. And he just gave it back like in an envelope, the money from my bar mitzvah that he- No. Yeah. For my school, to pay for my school trip. Oh my God. Yeah. And...

Yeah, well they say like with that level of like narcissism, just whatever they say to you is what they did. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like if they accuse you of being a liar, they're a liar. Like, so it's like, oh, you, when he called you for money, he used you for money in his own son.

Yeah, so then he says a two year. I heard from a cousin, and I'm also once, and this kind of sucked in a major way, but once my dad left us, we barely heard from anybody in the family. They never checked in. We were just like not, you know, my mom and my sisters and I were just not ever,

you know, there were a handful of people, like a cousin here or there. Actually, no, we had one aunt. Anyway, barely anybody. And he came from five kids and extended family. So I barely heard from anybody after that, which also sucks. I'm a gaggle of assholes, like there's children involved.

But, what was I gonna say? Oh yeah, so cousin told me about, and you might've experienced this too, but people that never really checked in on us, cared, never extended any kind of invitation, and that sort of ended. But guess when they started getting back in touch? This may shock you, but as I became famous, I became... I can't believe it.

Yeah. Oh, I would get... And it was like, I've always been your cousin. Yeah. It's wild. Can we get tickets to your show? My son, who you've gotta meet, is a big fan of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Oh my God.

And we'd love to come see you. Wow, interesting. And I try to be. And your dad? My dad, so my dad said one thing to my middle sister who kind of gave him more rope than any of us. My little sister, he never cared about, she can't do anything for him. And they're- So if you can't do anything for him, you're useless. Yeah. So he doesn't give a shit. Not curious. And I'd always wondered like how, and I also wondered

if it was a genetic thing. And I was worried about that, about having a kid, because I always wanted kids. But the idea like, oh, is this gonna, do I have that chip in my head that goes, that switches at some point? You go, yeah, it's not for me. And leaves.

And then I'm gonna move to London. See you guys, best of luck. And, and. I feel like a lot of times it is unfortunately true that when it's one or the other, you either become exactly like the guy or you're, you know, you do the opposite even more. You become more.

Yeah. Yeah, so I feel like it's pretty clear at this point. Yeah, it's like that you did the opposite, but I do feel like a lot of people that come from, you know, unfortunately one of their parents is a ludicrous asshole that they become like a really kind or really, it's really important to them to be there and to be present and to have, to mean what they say

and say what they mean and all that, yeah. So you have more characters sometimes, unfortunately. Like I feel like Sam Murrell's like, he's one of my best friends and his dad left early. He's a funny comic and his dad was- I love Sam. He's really, really funny. Yeah, he's incredibly incredible. And his dad, you know, is just similar situation.

I mean, it very, yeah, it's just like, I remember Sam saying once that his dad, it was like, you know, you'll understand this all when, you know, he left early on and then he was like, it'll all make sense when you're 18. You're gonna get this safe deposit box and it'll explain everything. It'll be like a letter.

You can't just explain, is that like a map? Is this a fucking maze? Treasure hunt. When you're an absent father? Like a last will and testament type of thing? No, like basically when you're 18, I can tell you everything. Why I haven't been present.

It doesn't work like that. It's not like a spy novel. No, what was it? You a spy novel. What was it? You open a locker. What was the answer? I asked Sam and it was like, he's like, it was nothing at all. Like it was, it was less than nothing.

There wasn't a map or even a zany treasure hunt inside. It was just like a couple of things that he had forgotten to give him or some utter bullshit that in no way excused him not being a dad. But he was just like, it'll all make sense. Like it was like, it's not a hair brain scheme. You're a father, you weren't one. Yeah.

Hey, you know, two- M'Kam is the opposite. He's like you, he's very like, you know, what he says is what he means, a very honorable person. You know? Yeah. I do, I get the, the id and the selfish- Sure.

Thing of like, man, it would be, I mean, you'd be giving up so much and I would never do it and it's not worth it, but like, oh, just to go have a reset in life? Sure. And go, you know what? I wanna be single again. I wanna go wherever I wanna go

and I don't wanna have to worry about this stuff. And I want to experience this and this and this. And it's like an idea that is a fantasy in a sense, but it just says so much for dads and moms who do that. I'm like, yeah, yeah, listen for me. Yeah. Like with the mom, I think it's gotta be even more. Yeah, there's something even

so dramatic about that. traumatic about that. Like it's bizarre to me. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's such a instinct. People kill their kids. Like, that's the other thing. Like you kill your wife on your honeymoon. I know. You don't.

It's often on the honeymoon too. You don't have to kill them. There's other things to do. You can just not marry them. Yeah. That's often on the honeymoon too. You don't have to kill them. There's other things to do. You can just not marry them. Yeah. That's another thing that I do often when I watch murder because for some reason I do watch a lot of hostile men of slaying on TV. Although I will say I watch less after I became a parent for some reason. I don't know if that redeems me in any way. But I do have that thought too. I'm like, oh, I don't have the slightest desire

to kill a hooker. Like it does make me feel better about myself. But I'm like, I don't wanna, no, I don't wake up. Some people wake up in the dead of the night and they're like, I have to go hunt co-eds. And I'm like, I don't have the slightest desire to do that. I don't pat myself on the back enough for that. Yeah, but I do think there's something when you-

I think that's, so you should open with that. Let everybody know. Here's one good thing. Hey, you can judge me and by the end of the set, you may be walking out. That's fine. But I have never had the desire to go kill hookers. Exactly. A little self-absorbed, sure. But do I want to kill a prostitute? Not in the slightest. I say, let them be. Let them be. I'm a fucking nun, obviously. And I always explain this to my daughter. I actually wrote a book, a child and children's book, where I explain this.

But no, but I mean, it is like, I do feel like when you're people, yeah, people just sort of like, oh, I'm gonna go kill the kids. I do feel like when a mom kills the kids, when a dad kills the kids, it's like a heightened sense. I'm talking completely out of my ass right now, but it's like a heightened sense of they're not just an asshole, they're an extreme ass.

But when a mom kills her kids, I do feel like she's just crazy. Like you're never gonna get a mom that's like such a bitch to kill her kids. I feel like it's like they think the kids are Satan. If the mom kills the kids, she's also like stabbing snakes in the bathtub. No, no, no, no, no. That's not... We know that... All right, I don't know. But was the... Casey Anthony, she wanted to party. And she, you know, and her kid was in the way.

You're right. Yeah, she was just a godless whore. You're absolutely right. And there's plenty of them. But the same night, you're right, she didn't think you're right. She wasn't like hallucinating. But yeah, she was fascinating because it was like the same night that she went into like, I think she like entered herself into like a hot body contest of some sort. Like she was just like, oh, I have to go into this like greased, horny contest. Like it was like hours after. Yeah, it's wild. Yeah. I mean, that's, but there is, I guess that's not insanity, but I feel like, isn't it?

But also it's insane if you, It's insane though. For a man to kill his kids too. There's an insanity to it. It is insane, but I do feel like it's like even more rare for women. Just murder itself. Murder, yeah, it's not a good look.

Is a crazy reaction, you know. They're all insane, you're right, but like I'm assuming that most moms that kill their kids are schizophrenic, and you're right, that's not true at all. But that Casey Anthony thing, it's like, yeah, I mean, it is wild to even think about, yeah. But I do think that it's more rare, wouldn't you say?

I'm trying to make a, I'm starting to salvage a point so that I don't come off as such an asshole right now. Can you help me do that? It is more rare for women to kill their kids, right? I have no idea, I really don't know. I thought you studied the numbers on this. I should have. I should have.

Here's the thing, Rachel. I did, but I forgot. I forgot them. I think it's got to be less, right? Let's go to a caller. I take a night class. Tammy from Des Moines, tell me the truth. All right, isn't it?

Can you Google this, please? Yeah, actually Google who kills their kids more dads or moms. Of course it's dads. You know, right? You think it's the dads? Yeah, in general. Yeah, more men commit homicide. Yeah, I've always, when they have those you know, like on the, whatever channel you watch, the murder mystery shit, or the true murders,

whatever that shit is, but it's, occasionally they'll have that, you know, women who kill. That'll be like its own, or why do women kill? And it's like, why don't they? They should, more. There should be more women who kill. That is a great joke, actually. Well, I mean, I'm joking, but I'm not joking.

You're right though. No, we have plenty of reasons. Yeah, you should, women should be killing more. More than most guys. Yeah, like horrifically betrayed. What do you got, Chris? It says, yeah, more males than females were accused nationwide, a difference that appears

to be increasing. Fathers are more likely than mothers to commit suicide after killing a child. So they feel worse. Fathers do more killing, but then they feel pretty bad about it. But it's still all about them, though. Yeah, it's still about them. Because they're embarrassed. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! I made an oopsie and that's not gonna look good on the final report. Ha ha ha! It's about their ego and their boss. Yeah. I don't want their boss to find that out, it's humiliating. What if Stan finds out you killed your wife and kids?

Absolutely embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. You know, but I'm sure there's a lot of, essentially I'm sure, I would guess that there's a lot of those men who do that are perhaps ex-military. PTSD. PTSD. Right.

Maybe that was part of it. I know there's like religious kooks who do, male and female do that. I feel like also the guys more often when they kill their wives, they pretend to look for them, whereas I feel like the women just, they just like, I'll see myself out.

But I feel like the guys always get a bun with their face or something. And you always see that one interview like right before he's caught. I remember watching one of those, like it was like forensic files or something. And you always see that one interview like right before he's caught I remember watching one of those like it was like Forensic files or something and they were like what do you miss most about Stacy at everybody knew at this point that he just Absolutely killed the bejesus side of Stacy But he was like well well and you saw him start to get angry at her again when he started to think about her because he was

Just thinking about all the things that Stacy fucking did that made him have to kill her. Yeah, and he's like well You know she was skinny. And that was the only thing he could go off with. Oh my Lord. That she was skinny. Because everything else was gonna remind him of why he killed her and he wasn't gonna be able to sit there

with that button with his shining eyes, pretending like he was just checking every crevice for Stacey. Yeah. But he's like, well, she was skinny. I do remember that. It was like O.J.'s nonstop hunt for the killer of his. Yeah, they're always looking for them,

where the women just go like, they kind of get quiet. Yeah, but the guys will put on a big pin and act like they're checking under every couch. Yeah. I don't know where she could. Where could she be? It's just not like her to be murdered. Yeah, as soon as I got back from that boating trip,

she was nowhere in sight. How very strange and odd and unlike her. Yeah, they gotta find her. Rachel, would you tell myself and the listeners what you've got coming up that you would like to, that I will tell you, and the special's on what, is it Netflix? It's on Netflix, it's called Big Guy. Really good, it's really good.

Big Guy, Rachel Feinstein. Feinstein, but you know, people say it both ways. I never correct anybody, what's the difference? Rachel Feinstein, not a hot name, not a lot of Rachel Feinsteins and like porn, it's not a hot name. Well, it's also just about the most Jewish name. I know, it's a brow beating of Jewry.

You got Rachel's Old Testament name, and then Feinstein, Feinstein, that's clearly Jew. And there's no way to soften it. I can't be like, oh, Rachel, oh, Feinstein or something. Like it's just- Well, that'd be silly. That would be very silly. Mick Feinstein would be pretty dumb. Oh Rachel O. Feinstein or something. Like it's just- Well, that'd be silly. That would be very silly. Mick Feinstein would be pretty dumb. Oh, O. Feinstein.

Sorry, I got like lost in my foul name. Yeah, so I have a special streaming now. Why did you take your husband's name? I should have, but I felt like at this point Brennan. That's the only thing. Rachel Brennan, come on. World, Rachel Brennan is a very handsome sounding name, but I guess I just figured with standup at that point,

I got married like four years ago, I was just starting to be able, people could find me by my name. But that was my dream when I was a kid, all I would do is write in my trapper keeper, just any Catholic name, like just anything to rinse this off of me. Yeah, I used to hate it when they call it Rachel Feinstein.

Just like any guy that might've been attracted to me, I would watch them, listen to the name, like, yeah, let's, I'll find somebody else. So it's, you can go to my website, rachel-feinstein.com or, and you can see my road schedule. What a terrible website name. I know it's so stupid. It's just Jewish. It's such a Jewish website name. It's disgusting.

It's the name of people that control the media. Yeah. And the weather and all of that. But when the name of people that control the media. Yeah. And the weather and all of that. But when I'm not doing that, I'll be in Nashville and some other cities I can't remember. Where are you gonna play in Nashville? I'm at Zanies.

Okay. Yeah, that's a fun club. So I'll be in Nashville next and Pennsylvania and New Jersey and San Diego, some other cities, but they'll all be there. Pennsylvania and New Jersey are states just to- Did I just say city? Yeah. I did it again.

Just to let people- I meant some cities inside of New Jersey. I'll be in Morrisville, New Jersey. Not really a city, but maybe a township. Yeah, that's right, township. Yeah. Okay. And we're in Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania, I'll be in Ellersville,

Ellersville, Pennsylvania. Yeah, that's not a city either, I guess it's a town. Is that what you're gonna tell me? I don't know. No, I just haven't heard of it. I don't know, but I need you to know at home, I need the listeners to know that I did know New Jersey is the state and not a city, but I was just speaking quickly.

Pennsylvania is one that seems like it keeps tripping you up. Yeah, I know it does. Yeah. That's anyone's guess whether I really know. When you think of Pennsylvania- I might know it, but I don't accept it. When you think of Pennsylvania, just think it's the Keystone State. And the second part of that is state.

I know Pennsylvania is a state. It's a Keystone State. It's not the Keystone City. Because I know Philadelphia is a city. It's a Keystone state. It's not the Keystone city. Because I know Philadelphia is a city because I'm a genius. So Philadelphia is inside of Pennsylvania. So I have to know that. It's deep inside Pennsylvania.

God, I'm so fucking smart. I'm a Rhodes Scholar over here. All right, well, cool. I will urge the listeners to check out our special. It's very, very good. And I assume lots of new material? Yes, I'm doing a new hour now on the road. It's not, you won't see anything from the special.

I am, I am. Yeah, so hopefully I'll have a new one out soon. But this will be a brand new hour. You doing any impressions? I do impressions always. I just tend to impersonate people when I talk about them. But like, we just got a teensy taste when you did your, what was your favorite thing about Stacey voice?

Oh, right. From the forensic files and you're very good at those voices. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me here. This was an extra cool day for me. Now, Rachel, I know, I don't know if you, I close every episode with a question for my daughter, who just turned eight, but now is seven, or just turned eight, but came up with this when she was seven.

And the question for you is, Rachel, why do people breathe rapidly when they're worried? Ooh, that's a good question. Why do people breathe rapidly? Rapidly is a big word. She sounds very bright. I think that they breathe rapidly when they're worried because they're feeling nervous and when you're nervous, your body tends to do little physical things, like breathe really fast.

And so it's kind of, your body's response to feeling a bit nervous about something. Maybe that's kind of obvious, I don't know. I'm sure I'll over- Well, not to a seven-year-old. Yeah. So that's what your body does little things

when you're nervous. When I was a little kid and I would get nervous, I used to break out into red spots all over my face, like hives all over my face and I hated going to gym class so every time I went to gym class I would just have dumb red spots on me and I didn't really know my left from right so and the teacher would taunt me about this so I was just this kid with spots I looked like a leper and she was always going it's left like that she put her her hand up like that and I would just get the ball hurled in my spotted face.

I don't know how we ended up here you guys, but let's go to a caller. School wasn't very- It was Wingate's fault, everybody. No, probably my teachers would say I was the problem, but I didn't care for gym class, did you? No, no. Well, we also had a very,

Did you? No, no. Well, we also had a very, really kind of sadistic. So in the school I went to in Roswell, that was like, it was, I never went to middle school because when I was in elementary school, it was in the certain elementary school and then we got evicted and kicked out of our apartment. So I was not at school for a little bit, but then moved, finally found a place to live and then. Was in the school system that was basically.

It was a there was no middle school. It was like middle school was attached to elementary school. So- Yeah, yeah, that happened, I think, in some parts of our- I wanna say from fifth or sixth grade on, but then, so you, you ended, uh, elementary school and then you went to high school, which had, um, eighth grade. So it was eighth, ninth, 10th, 11th, 12th and, or not, or yeah, eighth grade.

So there was like an extra, uh, they were, they were, the nickname was Jinkers. And it was an extra, you had one extra year of being the dumbest, weakest, newest, frightened kids, right? So you had two years of that. And then at this, it was called Crestwood High School and at the Crestwood Kernels, a nice racist mascot and like a plantation owner. And it was, and so in the gym, they had, I don't remember how many, but I want to say maybe 12, like big, like this kind of thing, the big padded color guide, right? And so they're all 12 different colors, white, you know, light blue, navy blue, red, all these different colors that ended with silver and gold. And based on how you performed physical feats, you would be assigned shorts that colored short. Yes. I can see your mouth.

Oh my God. So you would do these things like once every two months or whatever and, you know, climb the rope and touch the thing at the top of the rope and do jumping jacks and do whatever the thing, the skills, go run down there, grab a cone, run back, I'm timing you. And then based on your performance, so I had, it was such a big day. I eventually moved up to like the third color,

but the first couple of things, I had white and then there were like the star stud, seventh, eighth, ninth graders, whatever, and they had the gold or the silver. So I hated gym. And then I had one teacher who was like football coach, who also was teaching, who'd always say cross him up cross and it was and didn't even make sense doesn't but he would just any would laugh and then his you know like the football players would

laugh too like it was some sort of put-down that didn't really affect me because it wasn't clever. It didn't make sense really. Cross them up, cross. Yeah, it's just kind of like a... Or don't cross them up. If it makes you feel any better, it was once discovered, everybody decided that I was somehow in the middle math class and that they told me at school, like we took some tests and I got in the middle.

And then at the end of the day, everybody in my house was like, wait, this doesn't make sense, Rachel, the middle, she always gets the lowest, she in the middle. And then at the end of the day, everybody in my house was like, wait, this doesn't make sense. Rachel, the middle, she always gets the lowest. She's the lowest. And everybody was just up in arms. They're like, this doesn't track. Cause I was particularly bad at math.

I'm taking this and I'm marching right back down to that school and getting this, getting this C changed to an F. You hang out right here. Don't worry about it, kiddo. I'm gonna take, no kid of mine is getting a fucking C. Everybody was like, I don't see it. Rachel's not in the middle of anything.

And then the school called and they were like, oops, it looks like we've made a grave mistake and I wasn't back supposed to have been in the lowest. They knew their kid. And there was a math tutor that molested all these kids and he didn't molest me and I'm pretty sure it's because I was so bad at math that I just infuriated him more,

like so much that he just wasn't aroused by me. You couldn't get it up for you. No. You're so dumb. I remember being like, come on, Rachel, we're not even at the hard part of the fucking word problem. Listen, I only fuck children, but you are beyond. No, I don't even remember him looking at my thigh.

He'd had it with my shit. All right, you guys, I've rambled for enough. Thank you for having me. All right, Rachel. Find Stein, find Steen, whatever you want. She doesn't care. I don't care. Check her out, and thank you for coming down.

Thank you so much. This was so fun. Sense is Working Over Time is a HeadGum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchen for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song.

For more podcasts by Headgum, visit Headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not gonna do that. Thanks for listening. That was a Headgum Podcast.