Senses Working Overtime with David Cross - Rob Delaney

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

Catch all new episodes every Thursday. Watch video episodes here.Guest: Rob DelaneySubscribe and Rate Senses Working Overtime on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!Follow David on Instagram and Twitter.Follow the show:Instagram: @sensesworkingovertimepodTikTok: @swopodEditor: Kati SkeltonExecutive Producer: Emma FoleyAdvertise on Senses Working Overtime via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hey, hey buddy. Good to see ya. How are you? Good, I'm a little sweaty so be gentle. I rode my bike here. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Well then I'll sit here. You just rub my face. So you'll sit there and then I'll sit over there. Is it or do I stay where I am? Which was it? I think you could stay. Oh, okay, great. Okay, fine. Phone's on silent.

I also took one of your drinks. How long are you in town for? Just, we leave tomorrow actually. I got here, Monday morning. I should tell the folks that we're coming to you from London, England, where my guest Rob Delaney is a permanent resident. Do you have your dual citizenship yet? As of fairly recently. Really? Yeah. I am half British. Wow. Nice.

Half American. Is that a DNA thing? Do they have to do you go in for? Yeah. Congrats. I am half British. Wow. Nice. Half American. Is that a DNA thing? Do they have to, do you go in for? Yeah. They do a splicing. You don't really notice much.

My foreskin grew back. Oh, wow. Because they, you know, I was circumcised in America, but yeah, they fit you with a new foreskin when you become a citizen. So that's nice to sort of... How do they attach it? They use... It's called...

Gorilla Glue. Do they have the same brand in the US? Yeah, I would have expected... Oh, wow. So that's... So they got to get that right. It's like a surgical distillation, you know. I think... I don't know if you get it at the hardware store, but it's the same sort of...

And you have to bring that to the isotopes. So you get the... you purchase the gorilla glue, bring it to the doctors. And then together you go to town hall where after you say the... With the doctor. You and the doctor goes... Okay. You then they put the foreskin on and... At town hall. At town hall, yeah. You then, they put the foreskin on and... At town hall. At town hall, yeah.

Oh my goodness. It's sterile. I mean, post COVID and stuff there, everybody's pretty, you know, everybody's hands look clean. So, it was such an interesting process and I've had a couple of experiences with the NHS, which I love, but I didn't know that that was all things.

So you go to the hardware store, and this is mandatory, yeah? It's not mandatory. Okay, a couple of things. You can either swear pledge allegiance to the king or God and the king. My family, we thought that we would do just God and not the king, but in fact, you have to do both.

You can either do the king or God and king. We did both, thinking we would do just God and not the king, but in fact, you have to do both. You can either do the king or God and king. We did both thinking we would only do God. And then foreskin is optional. I've been happy with my circumcised penis for almost five decades, but I thought why not try life with a foreskin? Because that's, you know, they don't just circumcise right out of the gate here like they did in America in the 70s

when I was born. So. So did they and did they reattach the? Yeah, they got my old one. Oh boy. OK. Where was that difficult? Well, apparently the hospital that I was born in in Boston had had burned down, but a bunch of foreskins and other stuff had been saved and they were able to...

It's usually the first thing that they run in and say. Yeah, you look at the foreskins. The jar of foreskins. It's a mason jar, right? Yeah, it's a mason jar. Or like a jarring jar. You know, if you put berries in and... Yeah, mason jar.

Why am I explaining to you? A mason. Yeah. And that's, Lewis, I wanna just make sure I wanna edit out that I'm a Mason because I am a free Mason and good standing, but I'm trying to keep that, trying to keep that under wraps. Rob knows, obviously.

Shouldn't have brought it up though, and I want to apologize. It's alright. That's what editing is for. But yeah, I'm now... I don't know if you got the... If you saw the message I sent, had it spelled out in hot air balloons, but I am sapphire level with a fourth level preficture Freemason in good standing Scottish rights. Oh, wow.

Oh, that's tremendous. Yeah, I wish I'd love to know more about that, but I am not a Mason. I have a good friend who is, but he won't tell me anything about it. Are you referring to me? Yeah, okay. And although you did just tell me some things about it. Well, my status is increased,

but I can't tell you about the handshakes or the conspiracy theories that we put out there. To keep people safe, really, is what it seems like. Exactly. Because I think there's, you can know too much. Yes. I think, and I'd say there's really only a small percentage of people who need to know any of the real stuff.

The real stuff, yeah. I appreciate that. And you know, well, everybody seems to have figured out about how the Jews run everything, which, you know, we were trying to keep it under wraps, but they run everything. The Special Olympics. Oh, wow. Yeah. I was not aware of that.

Jews run the Special Olympics. Did not realize that. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy. The, in the States, you know, the FDA, all run by Jews. So when you're talking about high fructose corn syrup and the use thereof, all the Jews. Yeah, there's positives though. I mean, I'm glad Hala has been added firmly

to the food pyramid rather than alluded to. It's stated that you gotta eat it, you know it at least once a week or it's not complete. But it doesn't count if you do it like French toast, which I love. Kala French toast is great. Have you ever had that? Yeah, I have. Yeah, it's great. That can't be kosher though, right?

Because is there... Well, no, there's no meat. So I suppose it could be if it's... Because you can't do... Oh, no, it's egg. You can't... Egg and... It's not just... Darien meat. You can't do it either, no, it's egg. Dairy. You can't... Egg and...

It's not just... Dairy and meat. You can't do it again, right? Dairy and meat. Okay. What about meat from Darien? Darien? Connecticut.

Darien. Connecticut. Yeah, no, I would definitely eat that. You could or couldn't if you're Jewish. Oh. Or Kosher, I should say. I can't say with any kind of authority. I don't know.

I know all Jews are in Kosher, but do you think all kosher people are Jews? Well, then now we're going to expose my ignorance. What are the parameters? What separates kosher from halal, for example? Because I know there's a lot of respect both for animals and the way that they're prepared and stuff. Well, halal is wrong and Kosher is correct. Oh, okay.

I mean, I think if we're gonna go that way. All right. Well, you're the authority. That's actually a good question. I do wonder, I mean, all kidding aside, I wonder what the differences are. And if an orthodox or an observant, you know, somebody who keeps kosher did get, I wonder if they're okay.

You know what? I know it has to be blessed, right? It has to be sanctioned, the kosher, I don't know about whole lot. The killing of the animal, yeah. So it has to be overseen by a rabbi on the tape. Is it just a rabbi? Okay.

Yeah, a rabbi who's clearly, you know, getting paid under the table to just go, yeah, yeah, that's fine. So that is the difference. You haven't had somebody in authority. I shouldn't say that is the difference because I don't know about Halal. Yeah, because they couldn't just deem it Halal. They couldn't point at it from through a factory wall and be like, Halal.

That wouldn't sit well with me. And it really has to go through you. It's the best. through a factory wall and be like, hello, you know, that wouldn't sit well with me. And you're really has to go through you. It's going to let people know at home. I'm shaking up my innocent juice. But yeah, you asked if I'm British now and I am. I am half British as is my family, which is crazy. We've been here nine years now and we've, you know, flirted with the idea of moving back a couple times. That hasn't happened.

And, I mean, a big motive for becoming citizens was it's a pain in the ass to renew your visas. And so, now we just don't ever have to do that again. And why wouldn't you? There's no drawback to it, is there? Not that I can discern. I mean, the countries ostensibly have a tax treaty, so you shouldn't be paying taxes twice. I choose to.

But there's not enough penalties that I know about. Not necessarily penalties, but like drawbacks. Right. Yeah, no. No, not. I'm a British citizen as well. I have to do a citizenship. Oh, amazing. I didn't have penalties, but like drawbacks. Right, yeah, no, no. I'm a British citizen as well. I have dual citizenship. Oh, amazing, I didn't realize.

And I just got it fairly recently last year, so. Wild. Yeah. And I started. There was a couple of Brits shooting the breeze. Couple of Half Brits. Yeah, this is a very British podcast. And I love it here, and I spend lots and lots and lots

of time here, My wife loves it. And you know, when the 2020 election was happening, you know, we were very seriously thinking, all right, do we go to, it was either going to be London or Toronto. London, I think we would prefer, I love Toronto too, but London we would prefer, but Toronto would be easier for all the in-laws to see our daughter. So it was a consideration. And, you know, we avoided that bullet as it were, but, you know, now it's, we've got 2024 to deal with. And, you know, it's, and I've said this to Amber, like, we're in New York.

It's not going to affect us. Whatever shit happens, we're gonna be fine. But it's all about our daughter. You know, like what kind of society and culture do we want to raise her? And really it was about that. I mean, I could, I've lived all over the place. I'm easy.

I could pick up and go wherever. And because of what we do, both my wife and I, yourself as well, like we could work here or Toronto pretty easily. You know, I can just stand up anywhere, English speaking country. So, I started to, because my dad's from Leeds, and I started to more actively pursue getting dual citizenship just in case. But I never wanted to talk to him. I've been estranged from him since I was a teenager. He's a piece of shit.

And I finally found somebody through somebody, through somebody in Scotland, a service where I wouldn't have to contact my dad. And if I got them these specific things, like I knew the hospital he was born in. I knew his parents' names, they were also born in those hospitals, that hospital. And I was able to get a marriage certificate from my mom

and then some other thing. And they were like, okay, we can, this is, we've got enough to do it. So I never had to talk to them. Holy mackerel. Yeah. And then I got my passport. Wow. Yeah. It's pretty cool.

Wow. I wonder how much easier yours was having a British parent than my becoming a citizen. It was pretty easy. Once I got all the stuff, they were like, this is enough for us to do the research. It's going to take a little bit. It's going to, we have to go through the records of the hospital and leads, and we have to get your great-great-grandfathers something.

And it took a little time, but it, yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't difficult. But yeah. And it took a little time, but it wasn't difficult. But yeah. Yeah, we did the sort of, not terribly long ago, we thought about moving back. Where would you go to, Massachusetts? We would have gone to Los Angeles, which is where we lived for a long time. Ew!

What was the last time you were there? Last Easter. for a long time. Ew! What was the last time you were there? Last Easter, so April 2022. And here's the deal. We had lived in Santa Monica for many years, Santa Monica being an incorporated city within Los Angeles that is on the ocean. And it's quite nice and walkable and all that stuff. And we'd enjoyed living there for years before we had kids and then for a few afterwards.

But then we didn't live there for a very long time. And we just visited... I know where this is going. And we went. But here's the thing. It had just rained for like two weeks. And as you know, rain is illegal in California, in that part of California. And so, it never rains, but it had.

So everything was green instead of brown. Right. And so we were like, oh my God, it's green now. And we just saw all these wonderful old friends that we loved so desperately and that we've missed since we've lived here. And so we're like, it's green. We got friends. And but some things have changed in the last nine years and the biggest, most noticeable

things are the cost of living has gone up very dramatically there. Doesn't affect us so much, but it does mean that more and more people there are really disgusting rich assholes. I like to be the only one. And so a lot of the people there were really scummy. And then the fires there are getting worse each year. Like when we left nine, almost 10 years ago, fire season. I'm sorry to interrupt. Can I ask what part of Santa Monica? Ocean Park, Sunset Park area, you know. So, you know, where you can walk to the beach, which we did a lot.

But yeah, fire season in Southern California makes it kind of seem unsustainable. And the fact that it gets longer each year. And even if you're not personally on fire, the air quality is so disgusting. It's like headache season. And that's the best part. That's the best air quality you're going to get in Los Angeles and the entire Los Angeles County is going to be on the West side. I thought you were going to go like, because it had been, if you hadn't been there in several,

several years. Yeah. Because my wife is from there and she actually, and her, my in-laws, or folks are on, well, I won't say the street, but they're right off Ocean Park, right off. And she used to live on Rose and on the corner of, on 4, just off of Rose, to go up the street. And when we, when she kind of left there for good and sold her apartment, the homeless situation was starting to encroach from Venice up to, up and rose and was, you know, encampments and things like that.

And by the time she left and we'd go back and visit frequently, you know, either for work or her folks are there and her dad's getting pretty, pretty old. So we're there a little bit more frequently than we were. And it's like apocalyptic, bad, the homeless situation and severely mentally, severely disturbed people. And it's really, really, really bad. And I would not have a kid there. I have friends who are having their second kid

who did live on fourth and then moved to on the other side of Lincoln. And they're like, we can't take our kids out. They have one kid on the way and they have another, it's like almost two. Like we can't, it's crazy just taking the kid out on a stroller. Like they're talking about moving like drastically changing, like going into the woods in upstate New York and it's really, really bad there.

No, I hear you and it's terrible and you don't want to live in a place like obviously it's nice and sunny if people want to walk around wherever they want to walk around. I mean, I've no truck with homeless people. They got to live too. They have as much to write as I do. But it sucks to live in a place where you know that all the power structures just don't give a shit. I mean, people say, you know, you hear like California is the fifth biggest economy in

the world or whatever. All right, then sort it, you know, like help these people out. House them, treat them, you know what I mean? Like we know what causes these things. Do the tiniest little something about it. So yeah, that was another thing is like, and again, if we were already there, we might have stayed, but since we were here and so plugged in, it's like here you've got the NHS, which is just unbelievable, even in its underfunded state.

And then no guns. Yeah. You're not going to get shot here unless you're very special, because it's hard to shoot people here. Those are two huge things. Yeah. And you can't just dismiss them. And as I said, I've had personal experience with NHS

that was fantastic. And we might even talked about this before, but I was here, I was doing Todd Margaret, and I was having this toothache that seemed to be getting worse and not going away. And one of our producers, her sister, was a dental assistant. And so I made an appointment. What's that? Was it Bloomsbury where all the dentist area is?

I don't know. I just go to my local one, so I don't know, but it could be one. It's just this odd, I find it odd that there's like a lot of dentists in this one, you know, area. But, so I went there. The DMZ, dental mouth zone. No. Sorry.

Please leave, Rob. And I was just having this kind of general cleaning thing or whatever. And the pain that started when I woke up and then it just was getting worse. And it was getting so bad that I've been in more pain before, but I've never had anything this. It made me think people would, you know, back in, you know, the 18th century, they would have killed themselves. Yeah, the logical thing.

You would have made most sense to kill yourself. The thing to get rid of that pain that's inside, it's not like a cut or a broken bone. Yeah, it's in. Yeah. And it felt like somebody had got a cold spoon and was whacking my brain with it. And it was, it was... And you didn't like that. I didn't like it at first and then I came. Okay, yeah.

And... But that's not sustainable, so you have to get through this. That's not sustainable. Yeah. It's like when you are jerking off and you take a hit of Amel Nitrate and then it's like, wow, it's a great orgasm, but then there's a headache you have, a pounding head. You can't keep doing that. You can't do it forever. Is it wonderful?

There are only so many gay bars. Anyway, so it was really bad and I didn't even know how it was. It was driving me crazy and when it was so they. The they went because the doc, it was a hygienist lady assistant and they went and the regular dentist there wasn't there. Was it been murdered? Been murdered. So the first thing we do is we call Sherlock Holmes, who guess what is a fake

person. Oh boy. It's not a real thing. And so Guy comes dressed up as quote unquote Sherlock Holmes. I see right through it. Yeah. Excuse me. So they ended up getting this guy, I don't know if they took X-rays first or I can't remember the chronology of it, but the in-house dentist was in there. So they went out the door down the street around the corner to another dentist. He left a patient.

Oh boy. It was just like a regular, he left a patient, came over, excuse me, took a look at the X-rays. He's like, you need an emergency root canal right now. Wow. And did it. Oh my God. Left his patient there.

He's like, we're gonna do it. Just two and a half hours. It wasn't that long, but it was, I mean, at least an hour. Wow. And did it. Oh my god. Left his patient there. He's like, we're going to do it. Just two and a half hours. It wasn't that long, but it was, I mean, at least an hour. Wow. An emergency root canal did all that. The pain went away immediately. And then, you know, put a temporary thing in and put a little cap, temporary cap on there. The whole process, I I think from start to finish

was maybe two hours, you know? And just, I mean, the pain went away. It was a huge thing. And I mean, I could barely even talk and it was getting worse and worse and worse. And as I said, enough for the guy to look at it and go, okay, we gotta do this right now. And then I went downstairs to get a prescription

for the medicine and to pay the bill. And I pretty sure it was 68 pounds. Yeah, it's insane. 68 pounds and they got it set from down the street. Yeah, I mean you're ready. You're like, so you're thinking in America, you're like, this will be, okay, at least a thousand dollars, you know. Oh, but so there's a there's a addendum to this story.

All right, so he fitted me with the temporary. This will get you through, you know, I'm here for another couple months. All right, but as soon as you're done, you got to get fitted for with the temporary. This will get you through. You know, I'm here for another couple of months. All right, but as soon as you're done, you gotta get fitted for a proper crown, just the crown. You know, the screws in, the implant, all that stuff. I go back to LA and Amber's like, oh, you should see my doctor. You gotta go see Dr. Vigil.

She's great. She does all my teeth stuff. I was like, okay, yeah, it's just a, it's just the crown. It's pretty much snapping in a Lego piece. Yeah, you get fitted, you do your mold and then they make it and they, so I do that and nice lady and that whole process is like 20 minutes, maybe 25. And I want to say it was $5,700. Jesus!

That's amazing. Isn't it charming that I said $1,000? Like I haven't lived in America in 10 years and I'm like, maybe it could have been $1,000? It's, I mean, that's, and this was 2010? Wow. 2010. Jesus. That's amazing. And famously, teeth are not part of the body in America,

and they're not included in normal health care. I know. Bernie Sanders was, you know, that was... Where are my teeth? But he's like, how are we not... How are teeth not a part of this? Yeah. Now, I am on a dental plan. You know, I've got great, I'm part of two great unions, you know, WGA and SAG-AFTRA.

And my insurance is great, you know, but I, you know, I'm one of the lucky few, you know. Today's show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, I have been going to a therapist off and on for many, many, many years. Found it very helpful. Some not so helpful, but then I just left and found another one that was helpful. And I have recently been seeing a therapist, more aptly listening to a therapist over the internet. And if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online.

It's designed to be convenient, flexible, suited to your schedule, which is true. You just have to fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, well, I would hope so, and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. So visit betterhelp.com slash senses today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash senses. There's so many people in America who have to work a shitty job that they hate. Yeah, that their hands just because of health care.

Yeah. Yeah, I did before I won the entertainment lottery. I had a terrible job just to have the health insurance. I worked it in internet advertising. So like I bought and sold terrible ads for garbage on terrible websites. And it caught me my health insurance. Like give me an example. Like a pop-up that was like, give us your information so we can call you and try to get you a bad auto loan.

Like stuff like that. So you didn't create these ads, you sold them? Or no, you didn't. No, although I got pretty good at help. I like could give sort of the brief, the design brief. Be like, we need this, we need that, we need to capture this information. And I would test them against each other.

So yeah, auto loan lead generation, that was one of them. The JLo engagement ring that Ben Affleck famously got her a big pink one the first time that they got married. And we sold a replica. And so I would get paid like a few pennies for each one that people bought of the J.Lo ring replica for like $7. Excuse me, I'm trying to picture. Is it like a, would you drive to an office?

Yeah, I drove to a big office by the airport and it was, we're talking 2003 to 2007. I'm doing this stuff and yeah, just to get health insurance. And then, blessedly, my breadwinner wife who taught English at Culver City Middle School was able to get me on her better teacher insurance and then I was free to drive around LA bombing at open mics. A lot of people, I don't think they realize how great of a stand-up you are or I don't know if you're still doing it.

Very kind. But we did a show together. This is a long time ago. Somewhere in South London, which I'm not that familiar with South London. I never go there. I've been twice. But there was like a show that somebody put together.

I go there to do stand-up. It's lovely. South London's amazing, but if you live in North London, you simply just don't go. Well, you have to use the wordland, you simply just don't go. Well, you have to use the word simply. You simply just don't go. Bread to bread. You simply find a better class of people in Northland.

And I remember, I mean, really funny, but I remember somebody, this is a while ago, somebody up front went to take a picture with their phone and you fucking went off on them for like five minutes about the, it's like, that picture is worthless. It has no value. Every time you take a picture, you decrease the current, you went off. Oh my God. No, it was great.

It was great. It was really funny and really articulated the thing I feel where I go zero to 60 and I can't even articulate my frustration and annoyance at people. Like, can we take this out for you? OK, so let me say, though, we are now talking about something that is so over the last now, because that would have been, I guess, I think that was maybe before I before I lived here perhaps so let's say that's or have just moved here that's not less than nine years ago because I remember it and in the time since then when doing stand-up I've become I went way away from talking to the audience just kind of in the mindset that like, if they bought a ticket

with money they earned at their job to come here, got a babysitter potentially, like I like to give them really just crafted stuff. Sure, I might feel the same way. But lately I've been, I had been so averse to talking to audience members, I guess, since that night, that lately I've been getting more back into talking to the audience and just trying to relax into that. And I think I also had a reflexive reaction to British comedians who talk to the audience nonstop. And maybe I wanted to differentiate myself a little bit, but I'm being less sort of

doctrinaire now and I will talk to the audience again after a decade of just keeping to myself It was it was Well, I don't think those things are mutually exclusive. You can talk to the audience and give them a good show totally and That's not just in Britain Stand up the thing about talking to the audience. I mean there are people I don't know if you're familiar with this guy Matt Reif. I only just heard about him and watched a few clips. I was about to say he just, for people like me or us, he kind of came out of nowhere.

But he is an example of people who do stand up, like doing stand up, but they got a quicker acceleration into headlining, touring, because of videos, TikTok and Instagram stuff, and stuff where they're doing crowd work, which is, I'm not knocking crowd work, which is I'm not knocking crowd work. It's fun.

It's easy as shit. It's easy and it's a nice little break sometimes. And I think people like it because you're, it's of the moment. You know, they're experiencing something that they are sensing is unique to that show. I'm not knocking at all. But it was this thing where, and it's controversial in the comedy community in the States for sure about comics who, if they don't do 100% of their show doing that, that's 80%.

And then some of these guys, and Matt Reif is a good example, and I watched some of these guys, and Matt Reif is a good example, and I watched some of the specials, it's Netflix special and, and it's not very good. It's not terrible, but the thing that stands out is, oh, you're not ready for this. Okay. You're, you're. You will be, but not now.

You're not ready. Okay. You're not ready to headline arenas. Yes. Or large theaters. I mean, you can, you're doing it. People seem to like it. But your material is not quite there yet? Not there. Okay.

So I haven't seen the special. I saw a couple clips. I saw it was like a woman gave him a t-shirt. So I saw just the tiniest little bit and then a trailer for his stand-up special, which was like a skit. So I can't say anything about his stand-up, honestly. But I will say that in the abstract, there's a risk of if you're just doing crowd work, people mistaking the sort of thrill that they feel because what's

going to happen, mistaking that with humor. You know what I mean? And I think there's like an analogous feeling, like ever watch like an incredibly clever, clean comedian do something where like, ooh, is that naughty? And it wasn't, but it was just so good, you know, that you're like, oh my God, like, you know, certain Brian Regan bits or something. Or I can think of like Sklar Brothers things where I'm like, thrilling, and then I'm like, that must have been so naughty the way that I feel.

But it wasn't, you know what I mean? Like that's the type of emotional trickery that I like better is when somebody does something like so wacky that it activates the naughty part of my brain and I'm like, oh my God, no, they're just clever. I really envy people who can do that. Man, not me. Yeah, no, I'm such a fucking scumbag. I can't help it. I it just makes me happy Well being a piece of shit. It makes me happy. I don't I feel like I don't deserve to be happy and

Therefore, yeah, morose. I'm yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna get off my medication actually now. Well, I'm hearing myself say this I need to be more grumpy. Actually, for years and years I was on Zoloft. What I thought was depression was actually diagnosed as anxiety. Which, that's just out of ignorance. And I didn't know, I just thought, oh, I'm feeling this way and these things.

And then after, and it got a little crippling at certain points. And so I got on Zoloft and it made an immediate difference. And I went into it very reluctantly like it's gonna change me I won't be funny anymore and all these things that I thought I'm talking about like in the 90s okay, and then and then

When amber and I started getting serious, which is very quickly. I said hey, I'm gonna go off this medication Just so you can see yeah,, I'm going to go off this medication just so you can see. And I'd like to go off just so you can see, you know, this is me. And for a long time, I wasn't on it. And then our daughter was born. And it wasn't until she started school that I started going back and I noticed it after a while. Like this is like, and it was once she was going to school

that's that whole thing of like, well, we gotta get out. We have to get out. It's eight o'clock, honey. I don't care. We can't be like just bad, weird, you know, all my old bad things about, and just anxiety taking over. And I'm like, I can't do this to this kid. I'm like, rushing to put her jacket on,

gives a fuck if we're two minutes late. It's what I'm saying in my head, chill out, but I can't do it. In your defense as a father of four children that I had by choice with my wife, like had one that was like, let's have some more. I still freak out in the mornings. And I'm not saying that like you're not, you know, diagnosing yourself correctly or whatever, but just so you don't feel like a monster.

I don't know any parents who getting their kids out the door isn't a cross between a military operation and some sort of explosion. Absolutely. It's my response. or isn't a cross between a military operation and some sort of explosion. Absolutely, it's my response. Nothing I was doing was making it better. And you have an end goal, which is to get that kid out. Right. And my, what I was doing was not helping.

Gotcha. And we also started, I started playing video games with her when she was like five and a half, right? So I have a, you know, system and there's all these great games for kids learning games that are not just about eye hand coordination but that teach you these things and I was like, oh, I'll play. You see, you know, some of the ones I play like, yeah, you can't watch this, you know, it's blowing something up or whatever Have you played the video game non-binary Hamas?

No, but I immediately half condemn it Man anyway and and we're playing these kids games. And this is when I knew like, I gotta get back on this stuff. And I'm, and she's fucking five and a half, six years old. And she makes a little mistake or does something

which I know is gonna set us back. I'm like, Marlo, nope. Don't, okay, you're not, you know, give me the controller. And I'm like, I'm with a kid. And I'm just being an asshole. And I knew the combination of all those things. And other, you know, get in the car or do this.

And it's actually, you know, made a huge difference. And I'm just not like that. But it was all coming to it. And I've been fine for well over a couple decades, you know, or a decade and a half I guess. And then I was like, wow, I need to, this is not a good way to be with a little kid like, well, okay, that's on you.

Okay, you know, just what? And but it's good. I'm glad. No, I've been on medication since the beginning of 2003. I got sober in the beginning of 2002. So that's almost 22 years ago. And after a year of no alcohol or drugs, my brain and things settled, you know, like I was employable, my body worked, you know, after that year, my brain was like, well, you're not going to drink and do drugs

anymore? And I was like, yeah, I can't, I was going to die. And my brain was like, well, you're not gonna drink and do drugs anymore? And I was like, yeah, I can't, I was gonna die. And my brain was like, well, check this out. And so then rolled in really suicidal depression. You'd like really bad. And so... It, what's the connection to not, so meaning you didn't have an outlet or an escape or. So I think because I was drinking, you know, very destructively the end of my drinking

career culminated with a car accident that no one else was involved in, drove into a building. And but when friends and family heard about it, they were like, oh, yeah, you know, we knew that was going to happen. Like nobody was surprised. So I was really moving in a bad direction And I think my brain for about a year after the accident with court dates surgeries Rehab living in a halfway house. I was in like fight-or-flight survival mode

But when things started to calm down I really collapsed mentally emotionally I guess what I didn't do when you were talking about that is even think about, because you don't go, okay, I'm going to stop drinking and then you move on to chapter three. Exactly. So there's that whole year of getting to that point. Yeah. So it was about a year of cleaning up and picking up the pieces and stuff. And at the end of that year, my brain just stopped working, which years down the road,

I can look at that and be like, okay, yeah, that makes sense. It's fairly, I think, psychology 101. Did you have help? I did. Yeah. fairly, I think, psychology 101, you know. Did you have help? I did, yeah. I was going to talk therapy and after some weeks of being talking about, you know, really wanted to kill myself. And the depression had a real physical element too, like physical pain, confusion.

I mean, it was very bad. And so suicide really seemed like something that made sense. Was it a solution to something? The idea of suicide? Yeah. Stopping the physical pain that came with it. So my psychologist sent me to a psychiatrist and he put me on medication that gradually, slowly, but surely worked. And then kind of gave me back

the whole, my whole deck emotionally, you know, I could feel all the emotions rather than just one nightmare one. And then it would have been maybe six years later, five years later, a second episode. And so medication was adjusted. And the second one... Did that come out of nowhere? I think that one came from... That would have been in about 2008-ish, and that came from having been unemployed... It came with or from, I don't know, being unemployed for a while and having started doing comedy all the time.

And at this point, nobody's like, please do comedy. It's me sending out joke packets to every show all the time and doing multiple shows a night. And, uh, I think doing that while very broke and newly married, both my wife and I wanted to have kids too. I think that's, you know, what precipitated that. So a second episode, just as bad, that one didn't last as long because I knew

there is on paper a path out of this. And it's being honest about it, talking to people, getting the help that I needed. So since then, I've been on medication. I remain on it. Yeah, I'd love to not take a pill or two every morning, but I do. It works. It allows me to be a present and good dad and husband and worker, you know, I mean, I'm way more productive. So, yeah, you know, that shit's real. I mean, that's not a news flash to anybody. Right.

So, yeah. Well, that's good. That's good to hear. That's good to know. Yeah. Yeah, it's one of those things where you can, or one can describe their deepest darkest moments. I don't know exactly what you're feeling, what you went through, but I can only use myself

and my experiences as a reference and we all have them. Every single person. They're shared but they're not shared. But there's an understanding of like, your situation specifically was wildly different. Mine was this thing and maybe nobody else shared that but we all get, but we all get, oh, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. And I think the suggestion that the solution, I should say, for mankind is much like we put in the States, we put fluoride in the water,

starting in the what, 60s, I think, something like that. And, you know, which was a communist plot by the Jews, but we need to put, you know, serotonin, uplift, take her, whatever they're called, in the water. Yeah, and sterilization and certain, you know, zip codes, you know, that. Well, that's, no, that's different. Is that not what you were saying?

No, it's not what I'm. Understood. No, I didn't, no, I think that's, why, that's different. Is that not what you were saying? No, it's not what I'm... Understood. No, I didn't... No, I think that's... You're not co-signing that. Why was it different than what I... Okay. No, I'm talking about dosing with Soma, whether it be...

Understood. Okay. Blue-pilling people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to blue-pill people. That sounds good to me. That's good juice. That's good juice. All right, Rob.

How you feeling about everything? Okay. All right. Is there anything you- Yeah, I mean, is this smell like other recordings you've done? Do you have- Well, this is a much better idea. smell like other recordings you've done, you know, do you have? Well

This is a much Bigger studio, obviously I do the show out of New York. Yeah, I was a good dude the show out of LA. Yeah But as I said, we're here in London. Mm-hmm, and then I don't know if you can see this Yeah, that is nice. Yeah. What is that? Ombre, do you call that? With the color shadowing?

It's called the... Now this is the part, what's the part of this podcast called guys describe stuff they don't really understand for listeners? That sounds nice. Yeah, but we shrink it to an acronym. So it's a GDS. I can't remember shrink it to an acronym. So it's GDS. I can't remember what it is.

It's very long. It's in the song, right? We're borrowing the London Spotify offices. It's pretty nice. In New York, it's more, I've got more of my knickknacks and I got my artwork. My artwork would be there, the logo. That's what I call it. The thing. It would be there, the logo, what do you call it? Logo or the thing? That's what I call it. Yeah.

But unfortunately, the New York team didn't send the thing. Mail your stuff. Yeah. But yeah, this is very, I mean, I've never sat at a table. I have like couch chair and all that. But it's very much like everything I've been doing. And I, it got to the point. I will start.

So the podcast is called since it's working over time. And when I was for years, people have been saying, and when I say people, it's like my agent, my manager, you should do a podcast, you should do, and I had zero interest, less than zero interest. And I don't, not for any reasons that are negative at all, I just don't listen to podcasts. I don't, my wife, my friends do. I just don't. It's not what I, how I spend my time or whatever. And, and I have nothing against them.

But. Can I say quickly, the last podcast that I was on was a Steely Dan podcast. Cause as a middle-aged man, they've become very important to me. And I read a few books about them over the last few years and have really been spiritually rewarded by diving deep. So when asked recently to be on a Steely Dan podcast, I said, oh yeah. Oh, you got some tidbits you can share probably.

Yeah, I mean. So is it a podcast where it's just about Steely Dan? Exclusively. Yeah, it's not about anything else. See, that's a podcast I will not be listening to. Understood. Understood. Yeah. Now, foreigner, sure. But so they're like, okay, all right, I'll do a podcast.

And then they're like, what's the hook gonna be? And I'm like, no hook, I just wanna talk to people. I'm good at talking, I can have a conversation. And, you know, said it's, you know, like being at the pub and, you know, having a few pints and just talking. And they're like, no, no, no, you got to have a hook. So I thought for, I had nothing. And I was like, I don't know why I need to hook, but fine, fuck it. And then after about six weeks, I was like, I don't know why I need a hook, but fine, fuck it. And then after about six weeks, I was like, oh, I know what I'll do. I'll do the senses. And what's the best, worst, funniest, nastiest, saddest, creepiest thing you've ever, et cetera. And I even wrote that I'm going to,

that's just a jumping off point to have a conversation. I don't care. You can tell me about the best clamp chowder you ever had. I just don't give a shit. And I think this is, I'm gonna say you're the 11th guest I've had. Awesome. And I think in total, I have asked a question about what's the somethingest you've ever

somethinged three times. Oh, well done. Well done. And I had it, they, I shouldn't say I had to, but they, when I cut the trailer for this, they just started coming out. They came out actually yesterday. Right on. It was the first one.

Yeah. Who'd you have on it? Bob. Oh, great. Yeah. It was great. It was really fun. And they've all been sometimes, you know.

And yeah, I've asked those questions, I think, three times. Okay. I have a sort of sense story that happened recently. Can I share it with you? Absolutely. Tell me to stop and or leave whenever you need to. But I... Stop and leave.

That would be a good line. Stop and leave. I... A few weeks ago was in Wales with my family. I don't think this is important to the story, but maybe if a listener knows about a weird bacteria in Wales, that'll become important. But I got a little sore on the side of my tongue and I thought, oh, maybe I bit it.

We all bite our tongues from time to time and it can hurt. And I even do it when I'm going to sleep now. I wake myself up doing it like a monster. Anyway, but this thing started to grow on the side of my tongue and I was like, this isn't nice. And it was like a big canker sore. And it got to the point that over a few days, it began impeding my speech. Wow.

I talked. It's getting big. Yeah. And the pain is I can't, we're getting to where I can't eat. Like, I'll like take a sip of a smoothie and have to go like, you know, like crouch to deal with the pain and So anyway, I went to the doctor like if we don't really know, you know bodies are you know weird your immune system could be down We don't think it's viral could be so they gave me antibiotics and they gave me a steroid mouthwash And which I kept I don't need it it anymore but I use it so that I can

satisfy my wife with my tongue because my tongue is very strong now. But no, they did give me a steroid mouthwash and it worked. But I didn't eat, I lost weight and I had, as I said, swung while eating. Oh yeah, I was very hungry. but I'd rather starve to death than put something in my mouth. But anyway, it was just sort of a weird, one of those things, you know, you thought had maybe bygone, you know, with the Victorian days and now that we have hygiene and things like that, but no, got a real vicious, weird old fashioned

thing in my mouth and it's gone now. And just going back to the beginning of this discussion, are you saying Wales or is that fault? Yeah, I am tacitly blaming Wales. Wow. I mean, now officially that I'm saying it out loud, but yeah, it began in Wales as a lot of things do. And can you tell me some other things that begin in Wales?

I can. I can tell you that the official flower of Wales is the daffodil. I learned that studying for the life in the UK test I had to take for citizenship. What? Yeah, official flowers of daffodil. Scotland is the... What a pointless piece of information that they make you learn. Oh, I will tell you this though.

Studying for the life in the UK test was fun. It was fun. information that they make you learn. Oh. I will tell you this though, studying for the life in the UK test was fun. It was fun. Roger Bannister is the first man. I know that. But also, unless you're doing a pub quiz, when are you going to need to know? You must know by now because that's a pretty important part of being British. I have... Did you not used to run one or have one that you attended regularly? Several that I attended regularly. We talked about this last night. And accumulated so many coupons or chits or things like we, I paid for a year's worth of drinking with just the trivia, the pub quizzes that we won.

I've just, you know, we're lucky to both be busy and have families. So, you know, this is an iron cloud obligation. But I just had an idea for a show for us. And do you know what Morris Dancing is? Yes. Yeah. It's just us Morris dancing. Wait, wait. That's it. That's the pitch. I only know that I never heard of that until I'm almost finished with it. But I started a book called

My Search for Warren Harding. And it's really funny. And Bob recommended it. And he's a really good source of good books. But the guy in it does more of his dancing. That's how I know what it is. It is fascinating. I mean, I don't really know how you describe it other than it's like usually old guys

in a uniform that's almost Bavarian dancing around with sticks in a way that to them appears to make sense to the viewer does not so much. You've seen this on person. Yeah, I've seen it live more than once. And I don't know, maybe we get adopted by rival Morris dancing teams or something. I don't know, but anyway. Or we head up rival Morris dancing. Or we try to bring it to America and get murdered.

Yes. The two things don't have anything to do with each other. We just get murdered. Yeah, yeah. Welcome to, yeah. All right, Rob, I end every show with a question to my guest from my daughter. Oh, cool.

Six-year-old daughter. And here is your question. This is from Marlowe. And what is the least bad thing that Donald Trump did? The least bad thing. Let's think. I lived here for his entire presidency, but of course I had access to news. What did he do that wasn't bad? Um, or the least bad thing, like assuming that, say he, everything he's done is bad, but what's the least bad thing? And I'm quoting her.

That is the question. Word for word verbatim. What is the least bad thing Donald Trump has? I mean, he did demonstrate and I wish more people did this, that you can say what you really believe. I'm not saying he's not a liar because he is, but he would just let it all hang out sometimes in a way that is refreshing to hear a world leader do. And when you see people doing scumbag stuff in public and they're not brazen about it, I'm kind of like, well, you know, Trump, I do hope he somehow is mulched, but it is refreshing to hear

world leader just, you know, speak off the seat of his pants, you know, whereas other people do more studied stuff. To say similarly evil and disgusting things, I think you could take a page from Trump. Just say what you feel, because when you're powerful, you really can. And so he had an understanding of power that I wouldn't mind other world leaders for our sake and our sanity employing, because they do a lot more double speak than he did.

That said, may he have an embolism tonight. that said, may he have an embolism tonight. You know, I'm sure you've seen that famous, well, now famous New Yorker cartoon with the, it's all the sheep. And then there's a billboard for a wolf and it says, I will eat you. And then the sheep is looking at it going, he says it like it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, at it going, he says it like it is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's just, there's less sort of dissonance for the listener or the viewer with stuff like that. So that can be useful. Rob Delaney, thank you so much. Is there anything you want to plug coming up? Thanks.

No, I mean, when this comes out, I mean, I think the, you know, the strike is over. So I can say, you know, go to the streaming service of your choice. You might find a film or TV show I've done. I've written a couple books that you can read. Please do. Tell them the books. Okay. The first one is called Rob Delaney, mother, wife, sister, human, warrior, falcon, yardstick,

turban, cabbage. And the second one is called A Heart That Works. And I had a lot of difficulty reading that book, as I told you. Yeah. Where I started to write and then I found it and it was... I highly recommend reading the book. Don't read it on the plane. Yeah, there is a danger of crying. A lot of people tell me.

I was crying. Yeah. I was crying and I was making noises. And it's, but it's a beautiful book. And... You're very kind, thank you. It's very moving and very... It's interesting because I know you. It's very moving and very... It's interesting because I know you.

And I think even if you don't... You're very intimate with the reader and you get to... The reader gets to know you very quickly. But it's still like just to be able to put a person to that awful experience and your wife is, you know, a superhero. And yeah, it's, oh my gosh. And then when parents and in-laws come and, oh my gosh. Oh man, it's rough, but it's a really great read. And- Oh, well thank you. It's rough, but it's a really great read. And something people should experience.

Well, thank you. Yeah, if anybody's listening who doesn't know the story, it's about my son Henry, who died a little bit before his third birthday of a brain tumor. And that was five years ago. And yeah, A Heart That Works is the book I wrote about it. Yeah, it's great. And it's, yeah, go into a, maybe read it in a closet. Yeah.

Or, yeah. By candlelight. By candlelight, yeah. And put a towel all under the... Oh. Yeah, don't read it on a plate. Yeah. By candlelight. By candlelight, yeah. And put a towel all under the... Yeah, don't read it on a plate. All right, Rob, thank you so much. Thank you. A pleasure, as always.

Thanks, David. Take care. Since his working overtime is a headgum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to D. Me Druchin for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by Head Gum, visit headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not going to do that. Thanks for listening.