Senses Working Overtime with David Cross - Robby Hoffman

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

Robby Hoffman (The Chris Gethard Show, Too Far Podcast) joins David to discuss electoral politics, Jews for Jesus, and more. Catch all new episodes every Thursday. Watch video episodes h...ere.Guest: Robby HoffmanSubscribe and Rate Senses Working Overtime on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!Follow David on Instagram and Twitter.Follow the show:Instagram: @sensesworkingovertimepodTikTok: @swopodEditor: Kati SkeltonEngineer: Nicole LyonsExecutive Producer: Emma FoleyAdvertise on Senses Working Overtime via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man everybody the option. Okay. I come in hot if you want to just hit record. I know we all have things going on. I've never met you. And I'm also going to tell you and apologize for. Thank you. And also to. Thank you, please. I'm in the exact same clothes I was wearing yesterday.
Starting point is 00:01:02 It's really so embarrassing. Yeah, because I did a. What'd you do? You slept at a girls house? I'm in the exact same clothes I was wearing yesterday. It's really so embarrassing. Yeah, because I did a, What'd you do? You slept at a girls' house? Yeah. Yesterday was crazy chaotic. It's just me and my daughter and a puppy
Starting point is 00:01:18 and I gotta get her ready for school. Probably sweaty so I'll leave my hat on. For school? For school, yeah I'll leave my hat on. For school? For school, yeah. Your daughter? The puppy. Yes, my daughter. No, because I'm like, when is not school out?
Starting point is 00:01:34 Like, I don't know if they changed the summer or what they did. No, I think it's- I wouldn't assume school for a puppy. No, I think- Do I need these, Emma? No, you do not, no. I'm jealous of your coffee, by the way. Hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, It would have been the same thing had he said that. We both understand what that was. No, it wouldn't.
Starting point is 00:02:05 I said I would. That's why I said hint, hint, hint, because it wasn't that. You took one of those from the guys outside the subway. I actually doubled back. So I, yes, because I saw out of the corner of my eye, usually just intuitively, I take a step aside, right? And I don't engage.
Starting point is 00:02:24 They got you good. intuitively I take a step aside, right? And I don't engage. But then as I registered Journey Church, and then I was like, oh, I'll see what they're, I'll see, it's a church. So it's- See, I knew it was a church because my mother is Jews for Jesus now. And people go, why is she Jews for Jesus? I grew up a Hasidic Jew originally,
Starting point is 00:02:43 and then we were kind of secular, and then my mother found God. But my mother grew up with a very close relationship with her father, and she married my father, so she lived under a man in a very kind of patriarchal type of way. Oh, I'm familiar. And then my father, they divorced,
Starting point is 00:02:59 and then her father died, and now she found Jesus. So she has a new daddy, and she loves it. But people go like, how did she get into that? I said, my mother, like if you're at the end of an escalator and you have a flyer, she will take it, she will read it, she's going to give you $30 a month. Wow. Now, there's something I want to go back to something you said about that you were Hasidic and then you were kind of secular. So what is that?
Starting point is 00:03:27 Well, we were still pretty concerned. I was kosher till 19, like my version of more secular. Well, you know, it's like what Edelman would claim Orthodox is, but, you know, they maybe go to shul on the holidays. And you can bleep his name. I'm saying that we went from ultra orthodox. To like reformed. No, to probably orthodox. So way far away from secular, which is.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Me secular because, yeah, no, I guess my version of secular. You were so extreme that to just take away some of that extreme craziness. Exactly. We were still kosher, separate kitchens. We did all the holidays crazy. You were that kosher? You had separate kitchens.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Yeah, well separate sides of the kitchen. Milking plates, flashing plates, milk and meat. My grandmom had the double sinks and the separate soaps. Yeah, we had separate. And did not keep kosher. We kept kosher, strictly kosher, to the point if a knife touched something under kosher, you were bearing the knife and unbearing.
Starting point is 00:04:36 I mean, we really did, all of our traditions we did were still Hasidic. Thank you very much. But we lived, I went to a conservative Jewish school, mixed school, boys and girls, but I was always the most religious kid, even like post not being Orthodox, even in that, what I would consider a secular school,
Starting point is 00:04:54 which is actually a conservative school, I was the most religious kid. But the fact that you were able to mix and there were boys and girls in the same thing. This is my version of secular. Did kids have access to the internet? I'm on the cusp of that. We were really poor.
Starting point is 00:05:11 The internet was happening. We got a computer in the house downstairs. My father was kind of estranged from us at that point, but he, Dell and Gateway were the big Apple versus Mac. When I was a really little kid, and I remember we got a call saying, dude, you're getting a Dell, and it was my dad calling the commercial.
Starting point is 00:05:33 And this is a Hasidic guy who's like, you know, knows this. And so we got a computer, but it was, yeah, we were really behind on a lot of that stuff. I'm so fascinated by. And I want to I want to expand fascinated, I'm amused by confused, fascinated, everything under the umbrella of fascination with Hasidic Jews or Haredi or any of those.
Starting point is 00:06:16 It's so, because to me, and this may be offensive but I don't care really, it's so silly. And silly is the best word I can say for the costumes and the rituals that are based on fantasy and- Why is it based on fantasy? Because they're not applicable. They're not when you- Wave the graggler? They're not, when you, you know. Wave the graggler? No, the chicken.
Starting point is 00:06:48 You know, when you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the chorus. Yeah, so when you wave the chicken, you know, it's superstition, I guess. I'm extremely superstitious and it's kept with me. Well, you would have to be if you're religious. Yeah, there's a very fine line between, you know, I have diagnosed OCD now,
Starting point is 00:07:03 but I also would say the religion is OCD. You know, like the way that I put on my shoes in the morning and put the right shoe on. Absolutely, certainly can contribute. Yeah, and you know, I kiss the, you know, somebody asked me like, am I still religious? You know, Gabby, my girlfriend says I'm the most religious person she ever met.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I consider myself completely secular. But of course, yes, she's like, you kiss the, you have the mizuzas. I said, well babe, I have a mizuz on the door, I'm not an animal. I of course, yes, she's like, you kiss him as you have the Mizzouz. I said, well, babe, I have a Mizzouz on the door. I'm not an animal. I mean, there's certain things. You know, like I'm civilized. I mean, come on. Give me one second. We're like, yes, no, exactly.
Starting point is 00:07:38 But I don't think I'm not a superstitious idiot. Please hold for one second. Well, I don't think it's necessarily. I understand what you're saying, but I also think it would be silly to think that there isn't a spiritual like I think everything. There's nothing I don't believe in. You know, somebody people, men in particular, like to ask me, what about aliens? Sure. Of course.
Starting point is 00:08:00 First of all, yes, I don't really care. But people ask me, believe in ghosts. I said, there's nothing I don't believe in because it's as miraculous that I'm here on this planet. I'm not plugged into the wall. I don't have batteries. I find that as miraculous that there would be an afterlife or not an afterlife or a million different versions
Starting point is 00:08:18 of anything that could happen. I really am not privy to know what is going on. Yes, but you have a brain, you have a sharp. It's extremely small relative to the universe. So what? No, I understand. So I'm not, I'm not, I would say that being as defined that there's nothing like saying there's, you know,
Starting point is 00:08:39 there's no God is as stupid as saying there is a God. I have no preface, I have no allegiance to either which version. That's, that sounds hard to believe. Knowing what little I know of you in the last five, six, seven, eight minutes of what you've been saying. I think you do have a preference
Starting point is 00:09:02 and that is a belief in God. Well, yeah, but I don't define God as a one thing. I think it's more of an energy. Like I think just because we can't see something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Just like when they discovered oxygen or electricity or back when, you know, you can't see what's here, but there's a ton going on right here in the air, you know?
Starting point is 00:09:23 And so I do believe that it's wholly possible that plants are connected to, that they can communicate in ways we don't know. And then I can extrapolate that to other things that maybe there are vibes or energies, just like electricity, just like gravity, that you don't see that we haven't yet discovered or maybe can never know of.
Starting point is 00:09:47 So I'm wholly just, I think my spirituality comes from not knowing, from just being, I'm just open. And you're in awe of everything that you've just described. Yeah, I think it's- Nature and tides and the moon. Yeah, I think it's really cool how it all runs that without a battery, I guess that the sun grows this plant and the water comes up from the roots.
Starting point is 00:10:11 The whole thing just feels really cool. And I like being a part of it and not separate from it. OK. And that's kind of, and Judaism is very much about not knowing. I think, you know, people think that, you know, we don't have hell and we don't have this. It's not that we don't have heaven and we don't have hell. We simply say we don't know.
Starting point is 00:10:34 What we do know. Well, the belief and the definition of heaven and hell have changed and swung back and forth over the course of history as Jewish people needed to have a sense of judgment, vindication, punishment for whether it was the Spanish Inquisition or Hitler or whatever. So the idea, the concept of heaven and hell have changed.
Starting point is 00:11:06 But within Judaism, you're saying? Yes, yeah. What happened with the Spanish Inquisition that you're suggesting? Well, there's a place for those people and the pogroms. No, but Jews don't think that anybody is going to hell specifically. They think that there is, and they have thought this,
Starting point is 00:11:23 and it's changed. Yeah, maybe. It has. No, no, I hear that. I think there's like a very much questioning side to the, to the, what I'm talking about, the ultra-orthodox of like, of not knowing. I'm sure it could change and has changed and I've seen a change in my own life when I was a kid too, from Schneerson being our Rebbe to him dying and I've seen massive changes within my own life when I was a kid, too, from Schneerson being our Rebbe to him dying. And I've seen massive changes within. He's coming back any second now.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Well, and I but I do think I do think that part of Judaism is an extreme Judaism. I'm calling it extreme because it is. Is this idea that. We don't know what we do know for sure. And we might speculate that there's probably, or maybe people feel on that spectrum, but I know it's probably very different
Starting point is 00:12:16 from family to family. But is that we don't know, what we do know is this experience here. So here's some commandments to help you live as amicably as you can here. While all we know is what we know. So we can't necessarily speculate. I'm sure there's people who speculate more than others.
Starting point is 00:12:37 And for me, God, I hesitate to say God, I just feel like a connection. Like for me, love and these types of forces are so powerful and they feel spiritual to me. Yeah, I'm not judging that, denigrating that at all. I mean, a lot of people feel similar. And I think it's hard to reconcile the desire and the love and the search for meaning and an explanation, sorry, God put something in my eye to distract me, an explanation for
Starting point is 00:13:22 to distract me. An explanation for all these things that are quote unquote miraculous or unfair. Yeah. And. Yeah, I don't think there's a God like puppeteering or anything. I don't think, I think it's more of like, we're all part of this big thing.
Starting point is 00:13:45 Yeah, I hear that. I don't think there's like a, you know, I really don't believe in everything has a reason or concepts like that. Well, like the Old Testament, the Old Testament, which is, you know, I believe there are a couple of quotes that are in the Torah and the concepts therein don't,
Starting point is 00:14:09 you don't necessarily believe in them. No, and I do think that everything must evolve for the times now. You know, I think about that politically speaking too with the constitution and people are so up in arms about changing the constitution when we have amendments, which literally means change. Yeah, absolutely. So then we'll make an amendment, but then when we want another change, well, you can't change it. People don't even know that the word amendment
Starting point is 00:14:34 means a change. It's really, really hysterical to me. And then when I think about the Constitution and when it was written, you would think that if women were a part of that or black people were a part of that, but black women or any women were a part of writing the Constitution,
Starting point is 00:14:52 there'd be something there about childcare. There would be something there about the family. So if that was their role back then and continues to be predominantly, but I'm just saying like, yes, things, anything I think must change with the people. I'm somebody who's so of the people for the people. Let's continue to be with the people.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Nothing else for me trumps how people are living and what people require now. Well, I'm with you on that. I am not a religious, but I also don't need a book to tell me what right and wrong is. And I don't need... But some people do. I'll give you an example of my brother,
Starting point is 00:15:40 who's just, he's just really, he suffered a lot emotionally. You know, the way that my family broke up was kind of, some of us got out, you know, relatively scratch free, but some, you know, some didn't. I think my brother really struggled not having a father. Before you continue, can you just sort of clarify what get out means for folks? We were ultra-Orthodox Jews, and then my mother
Starting point is 00:16:11 took the 10 of us, her 10 kids, and we left the community and moved up to Montreal, her native Montreal, where I then grew up. Was she able to get a get? She was, yes. So your dad was okay with that? He found somebody new to marry and gave her the get? She was, yes. So your dad was okay with that? He found somebody new to marry and gave her the get. This was years later.
Starting point is 00:16:29 We were already in Montreal. Sorry, for if you don't know, a get is permission to get divorced in that community. Right, and there's permissions. And you get it from the men. Yeah, of course. As it should be. I agree.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Scissor me. Okay. There we go. That's the new thing? I haven't seen that. I'm bringing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Scissor me. Yeah. Oh my God, that's great. I'm doing it. Trademark that shit. Literally. Scissor me. So, yeah, my brother, anyway, we grew up
Starting point is 00:17:08 and then we became really secular. You know, none of us were kosher or whatever. My brother was really lost a kid and had all this really awful things happen to him. And he was very depressed. Is it older or younger? My older brother. How many kids in the family?
Starting point is 00:17:26 10. Jesus Christ. Yeah, one of my older brothers. Oh my Lord. And he just like really went through it and he's always been so hard working and just, you know, he works security in a mall and he's always done his thing,
Starting point is 00:17:39 kept an apartment, helps my mother. Like is just one of those, like he just wants to work. He wants to feed his cat. He wants to help my mother. That's his life. He stopped dating after this, nothing. But he had severe depression. He went on some, you know, he's now medicated good
Starting point is 00:17:59 and whatever, but he found his way back to Orthodox Judaism, not to the level that we were, but he got a job with the rabbi. They keep him really, he has to get up in the morning. He prays. It gives him a regimen. He's like so much happy. Like it was very hard to see him for years.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Whether he, and sometimes he prays, he doesn't a hundred percent believe, but he's part of a community and he likes the structure. It's been really good for him to have discipline in a weird way. Sure. And he gets up in the morning.
Starting point is 00:18:33 That applies to a lot of people. He has to go to the, you know, he has to do certain things. He's responsible for these things. And that gives him like, yeah, it really gives him a structure that, so I don't mind if things aren't hurting people or things like that And I understand that people can believe different things than I believe people tend to vary And so it doesn't I don't see it
Starting point is 00:18:57 I don't say anything in a condescending fashion like oh because of course it's like this It's just your beliefs are as bizarre to people as their beliefs are to you. Oh, for sure, yeah. And your girlfriend is not religious. No, but she's like, I pray at night. It's a, whether I'm praying, it's just a recap. For me, prayer is almost like a meditation
Starting point is 00:19:23 just to take five seconds to stop and think, which I find this world, this part of society doesn't really let you do nothing. You know how you're on your phone, whatever. It's like, I did a lot of nothing growing up, like zero. We were bored for hours. Just nothing going on. So I just was always thinking. And I missed that type of like free time, or just to think
Starting point is 00:19:47 and prayer. But then now she goes, you know, okay, you can be part of it, you know, no, my girlfriend is Mexican, American, and- Did she grow up Catholic? They didn't, her father is military, so they didn't do much, but yes, generically Catholic, but not practicing. Right. Well, I find more similarities between Roman Catholicism and Orthodox Judaism than other religions. They believe different things, but the regiment and the-
Starting point is 00:20:26 A little bit. I would say that Orthodox Judaism and Islam are closest to me. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, I would, because Catholicism has such a hierarchy and we really don't. Catholicism is very about hierarchy and Orthodox Judaism has maybe one rabbi or a few rabbis,
Starting point is 00:20:47 but really it's each family is led by their own father. Or it's like of the community, the leaders come up themselves, but based on how many families trust this family, it's very democratic in the way that I feel people become leaders. There were so many people on our block, they're just a respected family.
Starting point is 00:21:11 You could go into, they're not necessarily an overt leader. They don't have a title, but it's just people think they're wise or they've helped a family through something. So I think Catholicism is very not about that. There's a way to do things a lot more. Yeah, I see your point.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Versus more of the community aspect that Judaism and Islam have is very like of the people still, Orthodox Judaism at least, or regular. I guess I was thinking more of, and this just points out my ignorance of Islam compared to Catholicism, but more of the, the regimentation of what you need to do in the service of religion. Yeah, both these religions have more of what you need to do. Judaism has none what you need to do to do something.
Starting point is 00:22:01 There's a concept of getting higher, you can always be better, but there isn's a concept of getting higher, you can always be better, but there isn't a concept of, you're not like every, even within the families of whether there were families who kept everything and there were families who had a TV downstairs, like everybody still interpreted even an ultra-orthodox agenda to their own specificities,
Starting point is 00:22:27 but, and that happens in Judaism, in reform, in conservative, you'll see that some Jews keep kosher in the house, some don't, or things like that. That also exists, people can't believe, in an orthodox setting. The changes are less dramatic, I think, to most people, but to me, growing up, for instance, girls who wore short socks versus long socks
Starting point is 00:22:49 was a big difference. Some families were- Well, short socks are fucking hot. Yeah, no. So you- Come on. In some families, you could wear socks, in others, you still had to wear long socks. Right.
Starting point is 00:23:01 But it's still still up to interpretation or how you feel comfortable. So versus Catholicism is like, you have to say this amount of things to get into this. It's very punishment. Jews have such low numbers because we have no punishment, if that's the case. Nothing, you'll never have a rabbi say,
Starting point is 00:23:23 you must do this to do this. It just, we don't, so nobody's converting. What do you mean Jews have low numbers because there's no punishment? It's not that scary not to be Jewish. We're not saying if you're not Jewish, you're going to hell, for instance, versus Catholics. If you don't take Jesus as your savior,
Starting point is 00:23:40 you're going to hell. So a lot of people take Jesus because they're afraid of this thing. The whole thing is fear-based. Yeah. And wildly manipulative, blatantly. And it's interesting because the two religions and the only two really that are associated with guilt
Starting point is 00:24:01 and are linked are Catholicism and Judaism. Except the guilt and Judaism, there's no such term as self-loathing Catholic, it's self-loathing Jew, self-hating Jew. And that's just because you've turned your back on your people and all the troubles that they've gone through for you. And it's, the guilt is about, you know,
Starting point is 00:24:29 how dare you turn your back on your people. And with Catholicism, the guilt is, this wonderful man gave us his only son, and he did these wonderful things for you, and now you're gonna go to hell if you don't, you know? Yeah, yeah, it's really interesting because I use religious speak to almost like, like my mother, she's Jews for Jesus now,
Starting point is 00:24:50 so she wasn't homophobic when I came out because we were living my version of secularism. But then she found Jesus at the end of an escalator with this lady who gave her a pound, you know, she did what you did, It's a very slippery slope. That's why I never talk. And- You'd refuse to take the Costco soft and chewy granola bar.
Starting point is 00:25:12 There's one bite and you're hooked. It's insane. And they did get, they would get my mother with that. I mean, I've seen it with less. She's about due for another religion. I'm hoping Buddhism or someone has got a pamphlet. I mean, she's just. You should set it up.
Starting point is 00:25:26 You should go and find out which escalator is her favorite. Literally, the Hare Krishna. And send me somebody at the bottom. Make up your own pamphlet, make up a religion, pretend that it's global and it's on its way up. Jesus loves gays. Wow. So yeah, my mother is now very into Jesus, but Jewish.
Starting point is 00:25:44 She's a, Jews for Jesus. Makes no sense. I mean, you know, nothing makes sense and everything makes sense. You know, it depends on you. Oh, come on, that's intellectually. No, seriously. I mean, to her it makes sense.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Nothing makes sense and everything makes sense. I mean, to her, she can make sense of it. Oh, I see what you're saying, yeah. You know, it's really in the eye. Well, that's the beauty of- Life. Of, no, of like filtering religion and knowing its history
Starting point is 00:26:12 and knowing its evolution to changes and all that. And filtering it through a modern brain that believes in, you know, inherently in your heart equality and not, you know, not being homophobic, not being racist and all that. And you have to filter and you have to, you have to go through these wild machinations in your brain to make things make sense because they don't. They're contradictory. Yeah, no, I see that, you know, obviously. So Jesus to me sounds good, sounds great. Judaism doesn't not have Jesus. Yahushua was a good man.
Starting point is 00:26:50 We just don't recognize any one person as God or not God. We don't know what God is. We don't have a defined thing for a God. So we think God is probably, and I say probably goodness in all of us. God is everywhere in the Jewish faith. God is what's love, what's miraculous, what's, we don't have it defined.
Starting point is 00:27:10 It's not to say there isn't, that Jesus isn't God. We just, we literally don't know. But we do think he's a good man, and he probably, Yahushua is a good figure. We study every, we don't have saints. We don't have, even Moses, he was a leader, wasn't a saint, nobody is godly any more than another person.
Starting point is 00:27:32 So my mother, and Jesus loves everyone, right? Which I think Jesus sounds like a great dude. So when I was on the phone with my mother, my mother said, you know, I couldn't come to any kind of a gay wedding. I said, well, first of all, you're assuming you're invited. So let's just like take that out. And then after I said, I said, but anyway, you know, I couldn't come to any kind of a gay wedding. I said, well, first of all, you're assuming you're invited. So let's just like take that out.
Starting point is 00:27:46 And then after I said, I said, but anyway, you know, I said, Jesus loves me so much. And she goes, really? And I go, yeah, I just know he just, Jesus loves me so much, just the way I am. And she goes, ah, how do you know that? You have a relationship? I said, of course, like would Jesus hate,
Starting point is 00:28:04 do you think Jesus would say he hated me? No, no. I said, he just knows how to love and he loves me. And she goes, you're right. Like it actually works to like. A little logic. Yeah, because it's like, okay, so he loves, only Jesus will say me,
Starting point is 00:28:20 I do have my own relationship with me. I think we could talk it out. You may not, but my relationship with Jesus is my relationship with Jesus. You don't get to be a part of it. And she was like, you know, so. It's like when they go, they're like little lighthearted compendiums of like questions that kids ask nuns
Starting point is 00:28:43 and stuff like that. And they're always treated, you know, like if God made everything, why is it? And it's, they're always treated like they're, oh, these are questions from children, but they're fucking right. And those kids have a point, because it makes no fucking sense,
Starting point is 00:28:59 and it's contradictory. As you just explained, you can walk your mom, who rigidly felt one way 60 seconds before he started talking to her, and then completely changed her mind 180 degrees. But she lay off the judging. The point is you put the thing in her head, and it always bothered me, those things like,
Starting point is 00:29:17 oh, that's a child's question to the priest. Well, we had a thing in kindergarten where we could ask the rabbi anything. And the rabbi was our principal. It was an all-girls school. I maybe was four or five years old. I had beautiful long red hair when I was a girl. And my hair was a really defining part of me.
Starting point is 00:29:39 I got a lot of compliments on it. Teachers played with my hair. I always had beautiful hair. Either way, I still do, but you have to be privy to it now. Covered up with the wig. Yeah. And then, so I was asking about the Shatel, the wig.
Starting point is 00:29:57 So he came to the class. It was like literally a chance. And he got like, we could all ask a question. So I asked the question. I said I had long red hair. And I said, would I be able to cut off my own hair and make a wig of my hair? Because there's real hair wigs, which rich Jews had.
Starting point is 00:30:14 They were like $3,000 or something, but they were made of real hair. And you knew richer women because they had nicer wigs and stuff like that. And I got kicked like I, it was like a chutzpah dick question to ask, like, oh my God, I thought I was asked, like I was asked about my anything.
Starting point is 00:30:31 Yeah, and it makes perfect fucking sense, by the way. Like, you know, and I never got to hear the halachic answer to can I cut my own hair and make a wig of it? I have a whole, a bit, I don't know if you're familiar with my standup, and I wanna talk about your standup in a second, but I have a whole thing about tricking God, about different religions and how they trick God, and they come up with tricks, and Orthodox Jews,
Starting point is 00:31:02 the idea of getting around the edicts. The loopholes are very big, but also that's, I would say that that is almost the root. Religion, and particularly probably Judaism, is the root of law. Law is all about loopholes. The reason that rich people don't pay any taxes is all loopholes. It's all loopholes. The reason that rich people don't pay any taxes is all loopholes.
Starting point is 00:31:25 It's all loopholes. The better. That's a human construct. The loopholes were things that human beings figured out to, cause like I, Yeah, but loopholes. I wanna have toilet paper on Sunday. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:36 I mean, on the Sabbath. So I need to pre-tear it cause I can't tear anything. Yeah. Which is absurd. It sounds like to- But in law, you know, it's like, okay, so I wanna get paid. What I'll do is I'll set up this shell corporation. It won't be me.
Starting point is 00:31:52 It'll be, you know, there's loopholes the same way. Okay, but that doesn't, it doesn't- It's a religion in this country, capitalism. Okay, well, this is veering. It's veering, but I veer. First of all, I veer. Okay, we can talk about that, but. I think it's as criminal and as crazy.
Starting point is 00:32:11 In fact, I think it's more oppressive to people than people tearing their own toilet paper. Yeah, but that's apples and oranges. Not to me. It's all the same way that people find loopholes. If one person's finding a loophole here, they're finding people, humans love loopholes. Yeah, for a reason,
Starting point is 00:32:30 because a lot of the laws are ridiculous. Now I think the laws against money laundering are smart. They're fairly new. I've only had them for what, 40 plus years? Yeah, but there's loopholes to them. Yes, I'm not disagreeing with you. And I also think there's a difference that I think there's an intention to living with some of the religious laws that you find are ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:32:51 I think what we would call mindfulness, I grew up with a lot of. For instance, when I start writing on a page based on a Dalit, it means just like, oh my God, I get to write, that my hands work, that I work. It just takes a second in everything we do to recognize being a part of it and doing something. Okay, but my point is most people, I'd say the vast majority of them, of Orthodox Jews, to use the example that we're talking about,
Starting point is 00:33:20 want to use toilet paper on the Sabbath. So they can't tear anything, so you pre-tear. So you want to be able to pay, you want to use things paper on the Sabbath. So they can't tear anything, so you pre-tear. So you want to be able to pay, you want to use things that require electricity, so you need somebody to come and turn on the thing that requires electricity. They do that because they want to, because they enjoy these things.
Starting point is 00:33:35 And they found the loophole to a thing that doesn't make a whole- Contradict, yeah. Yeah, ton of sense. That's all. To you. But to them it makes sense. I think making sense is relative. So the whole thing makes sense.
Starting point is 00:33:48 So you think, so perhaps, perhaps. Yes, I don't think there's one way of making sense. So you're saying, so perhaps God, we have these laws, we have these rules, not me, but these laws, and then God is kind of pleased that people figured it out. I don't know, I don't know. I'm not saying that, I'm saying people can live
Starting point is 00:34:10 however they wanna live. I'm not saying it's a. Whatever, no, but they might like that sort of structure. They might believe that that would be okay for me. Just like in this society, we live with our own laws. A man must ask the girl out first. I find it pathetic if otherwise. I think a guy has to pay on girl out first. I find it pathetic if otherwise. I think a guy has to pay on the first date. I find it unacceptable otherwise. I mean,
Starting point is 00:34:30 I have a lot of laws that I kind of live by that are just because they make me, it's just, that's the way. Okay. But there's a law, nobody's going to get penalized if they don't. I'll tell you they will. they're not sleeping with that girl. I'll tell you they're gonna be penalized quite literally. All right, hey. Now, fuck, what was I gonna say? Oh, an Arab, all right, explain that one to me.
Starting point is 00:34:57 Okay, the Arab is just, it's just an enclavement. And for people who don't know, if you. I'll explain it. Explain it to me, the man. For people who don't know. No you... I'll explain it. All right, all right. Explain it to me, the man. For people who don't know. No, I meant the- I'm about to explain, you see the set, ma? I'm about to explain it.
Starting point is 00:35:11 So, an A-Rub. That's not what was happening. So basically, we have a lot of restrictions on Sabbath. The restrictions are really- Why'd you do air quotes? Because I think it's unrestrictions for them. But they believe, you know, it's more of a freedom. It's just really trying to mindfully do
Starting point is 00:35:27 as least as possible to rest. So you shouldn't be like even picking up, like just shut up, just leave it there, clean it tomorrow. Whatever it is, is just, they're trying to get you into full freedom. Like really don't do anything, be bored today, eat today, but don't even cook it today. Just heat up whatever you had yesterday.
Starting point is 00:35:47 True freedom is doing what you want to do. Sure, but they more have the monk of doing nothing freedom for one day. Just be bored kind of thing, or just whatever. So an air of? Okay, the air of, and so there's restrictions in your home to just be doing nothing. It's a mindfulness of doing nothing of doing nothing.
Starting point is 00:36:12 But like you said, it became this thing that the home was restricted, like what was the definition of home? So is it just in the apartment walls? People live sometimes on top of each other. They need more space to do nothing. So we defined emotionally and we allowed that. It's symbolic. It isn't, you can do stuff without an error,
Starting point is 00:36:38 but we put a string around a greater perimeter of the home. Let's say we define home as a community in which religious people. So that you can do nothing in that whole space. It's not, the reason it's not, it's just the string is just to note it. But it's also not just doing nothing, it's allowing a person to do things
Starting point is 00:36:59 that they're not allowed to do unless the Arab is there. Right, like picking up your child, right? It's like, oh, you're in your home. You can pick up your child. You can do. I'm just saying it extends. Yes, exactly what you would do in your home to around to define a greater perimeter of your. When you're outside and you're meeting your neighbor, you can now push a stroller. Yes. Right. Which you're not allowed.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Yeah. To do. And so it's it, but it's a boundary that is. It's symbolic. Well, okay, but it's a specific, there's a boundary. You can't just walk away. There is a boundary, you can do it. I mean, sure. There's not gonna be a punishment if you do it. You know what I'm saying though.
Starting point is 00:37:37 I do, but I'm saying, but the cant is self-imposed. It's like people on a diet. You can eat something, you really shouldn't. Sure, sure, but so in order You can eat something, you really shouldn't. Sure, sure. But so in order to be, to, you know, lead as pure? Yeah, people break these. Is that the right word? People break it all the time.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Some kids don't wanna do it, some people do it. I mean, you know, obviously it's like, well, do you wanna live within, you know, do you wanna live as purely as possible, as religious? Sure, but some people don't. Some people don't give a fuck. They wanna go have a smoke or whatever they're doing.
Starting point is 00:38:11 People do it. It really is up to the- But the Arab is specifically for people who- Wanna stay within that control and they wanna stay within the practice. They wanna do the practice. It's symbolic, but it's an imaginary boundary. It is an imaginary boundary.
Starting point is 00:38:29 You could pass it. But everything we have is kind of imaginary. It's all symbolic of some way to live your life. For instance, you're saying that the dress has no, you know, early on in this podcast, you said the way they dress is, I would, you know, do you know why a man wears a yarmulke or a hat? Because God, to show subservience to God? To anyone.
Starting point is 00:38:55 You're not bigger than anyone else. You're not better than your neighbor. There's always something higher than you. If I don't, okay. There's always something higher to you. So for them, when they put on the yamacon in the morning, they live in mindfulness where it's like, my neighbor, I'm not better than my neighbor,
Starting point is 00:39:11 I'm not better. There's something always higher than you. Yes, God, but yes, you're not that great. You're not that bad, but we're all in. If I don't have a yamacon, does that mean I'm walking around thinking I'm all that? You do. Yes, there's a lot of ego maniac.
Starting point is 00:39:32 The ego is totally unchecked in the secular world, day to day. And there are a lot of men walking around that way. And we have severe, I would say, greed and things that force you to do that. And I think that having a mindfulness about not being better than anyone every day is not practice.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Well, okay, I think it's easy to throw on a hat, put on a yarmulke, and if people are truly applying that, they probably don't need the yarmulke, but it's a reminder, but you don't need it really if you. Sure. But. And some people don't wear it, there are Orthodox Jews who take it off,
Starting point is 00:40:13 some only wear it in a house, some wear it in a house. I mean, I know. So yeah, my point is it's a symbolic ritualistic costumes, like any religion has. Yeah, like what does your tattoo mean? Is there anything symbolic there? Oh, it's a whole tableau. It's my idea of religion, how religion works.
Starting point is 00:40:34 Okay, so it's symbolic of that. You don't need this on your body every day to know how your idea of religion works. No, no, but it's artful. They think it's artful too. It's handmade, it's wool, it's 100% Eastern European. It's hand-stitched. Their clothing is all tailored.
Starting point is 00:40:50 It's beautiful. I did have a Boston Red Sox keepa, I did. So I'm just saying, I'm just saying that there are. It's artful, it's hand-stitched. It's impossible. Once you get on this, I can go on forever. Clearly, it's been 45 minutes. I haven't even talked about your stand-up.
Starting point is 00:41:04 I know, I'm way too chatty. Well, why don't you get into my stand up? Because you won't shut up. I don't shut up, I have issues. I know, I really talk too much. So you are quite literally the first person I've had on the podcast that I don't have a prior relationship with, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:41:20 Same. Same. Like, I didn't know you. I asked how many listeners he has. Is this worth doing or not? Literally. Wow, that's rude. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Sure it is. Well, we haven't crossed paths and stand up. What's worth doing? Whether it's worth doing. Like because it's like, oh, you have to get up super early. I said, could we do one o'clock? Oh, Mr. Sizer is so busy. What's he doing? I said, okay, so I'll come 10.30. Mr. Sizer is so busy, what's he doing?
Starting point is 00:41:45 I said, okay, so I'll come 10.30. He's not even here. No, he's not even here. Am I not here at 10 o'clock? Waiting for him, okay. I said, does it have any listener? Because I tend to say yes to everything, but I'm starting to get in the mood
Starting point is 00:41:59 that like not everything is worth everything. I don't have to do everything. That's totally true. And I'm kind of giving you shit because I'm on the other end of that, but I do the same thing. Okay, so I needed to know, are you gonna help me or not?
Starting point is 00:42:11 I'd love if you did, but if you don't, it's okay. Okay, well if it's okay, why'd you bring it up in the first place? You asked me. Okay, go ahead. You didn't know me, I said I didn't know you, and that hurt your feelings. So I can't, you said you didn't know me. That's not what hurt my feelings, the fact that you don't know me. I said I didn't know you and that hurt your feelings. So I can't, you said you didn't know me.
Starting point is 00:42:25 That's not what hurt my feelings. The fact that you don't know me. No, you're like, is it worth doing? Is it worth doing? But I'm saying many people want a lot of our time. All right, I was exaggerating for comic effect. Don't the people want a lot of your time? Well, I mean, I have family and a puppy.
Starting point is 00:42:39 But even business-wise, don't you get asked to do so many things and you have to look into it. Yeah. No, I'm just- Self preservation. I get what you're saying and I felt the same thing. I'm so happy to be here, David.
Starting point is 00:42:50 You have no idea. I don't have any idea. I'm telling you right now. I really don't. I don't think I'll ever have a idea. I think this is the start of a budding friendship. Well, good. I saw your, I wasn't familiar with you,
Starting point is 00:43:04 but I saw your standup on the Netflix, whatever that was. Yeah, verified. What was it? Netflix verified. It's kind of there are new faces or they're up and coming. Half of which the comedians were really great and the other half were like, eh. I hear you.
Starting point is 00:43:22 But I thought you were, everything that I like in a comic, you're really a unique perspective, really funny, self-deprecating, and fucking ballsy as shit. Thank you, I appreciate that. And you don't, when you see a comic at that stage, you don't necessarily immediately go to like, wow, I wonder how they worked out.
Starting point is 00:43:54 I wonder where they first started. But I watched you and was getting distracted by imagining like, man, you must have had some fucking tough sets at certain points, as every comic does, everyone. But it's just, you know, it's just ballsy. Thank you, I really appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:44:19 It means a lot, check out my Netflix set, Netflix verified. And you know, I'm one of the top 300 standups in the Eastern United States. Yeah, I believe it. No, this is high praise. And if you want to see me live, you can follow me on Instagram at Robbie Hoffman.
Starting point is 00:44:38 I try and post my dates as often as possible. And you can also listen to my podcast, the Too Far Pod, which the New York Times calls addictive. What is it? What is it called? Too Far Pod. Too far. Yeah, too far.
Starting point is 00:44:51 We're going, I'm talking about whatever the hell we need to talk about. Okay. And voted top 20 podcasts by the Atlantic. By the Atlantic. So you can check that out as well. Perfect time to plug. I will say this, that my early-
Starting point is 00:45:08 A lot of Jew run media being fucking bandied about on this one. There we go, there we go. Not a clasitic run though, otherwise I'd be here quicker. But, I will say that I started early, it was this kind of thing, I started in Montreal for about a year
Starting point is 00:45:23 and then I really came up in Toronto, which I worked out, which was great for me, obviously I don't know anything else, but what was interesting in Montreal, I think what the hardest thing was the lack of support from the community, from the comedy community. The comedy community was kind of stale there and kind of like older and they had this massive massive festival there, but it wasn't attached to the local scene in any which way.
Starting point is 00:45:50 So there was a lot of resentment about that, that like we have this like international festival, but like there's no locals in the festival. You know, there's only a few local shows. Montreal's is such a small. But many people talked to me, many older people said, you know, it takes 10 years to be good, 10 years to find your voice. You know, many people, early standups, finding your voice. And for me, I really had the opposite. I had my voice first.
Starting point is 00:46:15 I really didn't know much about standup, but anything I said was kind of in my perspective and it felt new. And so I had the voice first and then content kind kinda came after. So I kind of wasn't able to fit into that like, oh, 10 years to find your voice, but everybody was telling me you have such a unique voice.
Starting point is 00:46:33 Yeah, that's interesting. So I'm going like. 10 years is just, that's arbitrary. It's crazy, yeah. That's not a real thing. It's people I've admitted in 10 years are telling you it takes 10 years. It's always that in the case, you know.
Starting point is 00:46:43 I think can you come back a year later? It's actually 11 years. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, and I think a lot of these guys had resentment. So I would win something like a best of Open Mic, which is a competition that was happening at the Comedy Works in Montreal. It was like the one club, real club you could do.
Starting point is 00:47:02 Is Jimbo's still there? Yeah, no, it's not. I love that place. Yeah, that was the best of Open Mic. So I would win that that night, yet they wouldn't book, it was just impossible. So then I moved to Toronto and Toronto really embraced me. Toronto's one of the most diverse places I've ever been.
Starting point is 00:47:22 It was amazing and I really got to come into my own. Like we're being, like getting to work on, okay, I have the voice, getting to work on stuff. So that was the hardest part for me was kind of having to suck up to like, there was this guy who would give me tags and stuff. He was doing the same, like he was just. Eating unsolicited advice and tags.
Starting point is 00:47:45 He would make me hang out to get a spot. Listen, I'm 24 years old. This guy, Paul Lash, he was just insanely bad, you can't imagine. But he ran some rooms? Yeah, he ran rooms, but in order to do the rooms, you have to hang out. It's like, I don't wanna hang out with these 50 year old guys.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Why do I have to hang out? I have school. There was things that, it just didn't make any sense that I have to hang out? Like, I have school, like, there was things that, like, it just didn't make any sense that I had to, like, hang out. Like, I'm not friends with, like, I have my own girlfriends and I have friends. And I remember one great story that happened was my brother, who's autistic, and bleep his name,
Starting point is 00:48:19 because we don't even talk about it, but we're all probably on the spectrum, but he severely, and he has this friend, they went to a special school together and whatever. And my mother said, you know, he really likes comedy. Why don't you take him to a show, whatever. I said, you want to come to a show? Love to, he ordered a beer with his friend.
Starting point is 00:48:37 He's, you know, so happy to be, you know, cause he's only a year and a half younger than me, but people thought he was much younger because of his, the way that he is. And my brother and his friend are having such a good time. They got a picture, he's getting drunk. I'm taking him home. It's like he's having, he's loving it.
Starting point is 00:48:55 And it's a little bar show. And then after the show, he goes, everybody could see that when you speak to him, you know something's off. So after the show, he's going to leave. And the woman who was giving the tickets at the door, she goes, do you like the show? He goes, oh, Robbie Hoffman is the best, my little brother.
Starting point is 00:49:11 He's like, she's the best, like she's so funny. She's so funny. He goes, but you know who sucked? Because he's totally his note. He goes, that host is terrible. And the host, this guy Paul, is married to the ticket girl. So I see this in the corner of my eye going on like, oh no, there's no way to stop my brother.
Starting point is 00:49:31 I can't tell him he's wrong. He doesn't, it's like punishing a dog. Like he wouldn't. So and he was really bad. He really needs to stop. And then his friends agree, oh yeah. And then she goes, you know, she tries to belittle my brother,
Starting point is 00:49:45 maybe you didn't understand. He goes, no, no, no, I understood. It was like, he doubled down. It was one of those things that at the time I was like, oh my God, I'm never gonna work again. And then as time went on, what a blessing, what a fun. I never said anything bad to my brother and the whole subway ride home,
Starting point is 00:50:03 he was like, he is terrible, he couldn't get over it. Well, maybe his wife felt. Is there a divorce now? Yeah, maybe his wife felt that way and was kind of like, well, I'm glad somebody finally said it. And this guy would like make me hang out, would talk to me about my bits.
Starting point is 00:50:19 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, he did. Yeah, every city had one of those guys. So insane, we had a lot of them. Yeah, well, I mean, yes, there are more than one, but there's at least one, like every scene. We're not hanging out, book me on my merit. Okay, if you're a comedy booker, here's a tape,
Starting point is 00:50:39 book me or don't, I don't wanna have a beer, I'm not bringing all this money out, it's insane. I'm supposed to spend $40 to do four beer. I'm not bringing all this money out. It's insane. I'm supposed to spend $40 to do four minutes, calm down. Yeah, pay to play. No. Pay to play. No, I'm not drinking with you guys because you're lonely. I have friends and they're not you.
Starting point is 00:50:55 Yeah. And then when did you move to New York? Then I moved to LA. Oh. And then I got a job, to call it a late night show is really an overstatement, but on the Chris Gethard show on TV. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:12 What was that? It was like years ago. So I can't that's when I came back to New York for a couple of years. So maybe 2018. But I was still living in LA and I do live in LA. I'm just back and forth a bit. You know how it is. I do but I But yeah, like I live here now
Starting point is 00:51:29 Yeah, and I'm in LA for work, but I tried not to you know, I don't I'm not I don't care for Los Angeles I like LA quite a bit. I mean, they're both dumps for different reasons But yeah, I like having my own car my girl in the car riding a subway and somebody's wiping their nose me No, I like having my own car, my girl in the car, riding the subway and somebody's wiping their nose. No, I like to, I don't know. And I never get over a beautiful day. And when I walk outside, I go, it's a beautiful day. Where do you live in LA? I live in Echo Park.
Starting point is 00:52:01 And I, okay, so I've spent, I spent nine and a half years in, when I was living there in Los Feliz in Silver Lake. It's very dark Los Feliz. It's what? It's very, it's very dark. It gets less sun I find. Oh, really? You could get the trees.
Starting point is 00:52:20 They have kind of those East Coast trees there. I'm telling you, I would never live in Los Feliz. I find it very dark. No, I find it very dark. Okay, and what was the last time you had your vision checked? No, I get my vision actually pretty regularly because I wear glasses, I have sunglasses. I'm telling you when you're driving through,
Starting point is 00:52:40 there's a depression. There's a depression in Los Feliz. Are you talking about like- Sunshine, I think it's very blocked. Yeah, it's very blocked there. It gets sunny again in the hills, in the Hollywood Hills. And then in Silver Lake. Wait, what part of Los Angeles, which is a small area,
Starting point is 00:52:56 are you talking about? Like Franklin, all those places, very dark. It's very dark, I'm telling you. I want an ecologist or somebody who works in such a field to do a study, a topographic or like of the areas that get more sun or less sun. Well, certainly Echo Park gets a lot of sun. Gets a lot of sun.
Starting point is 00:53:16 Yeah, and too much sun. No, no, no, I like the sun. If I'm there for sun, give me sun. Yeah, I just, I don't care for the weather in Los Angeles. The winter is quite nice there when the Sant'Anna's blow through or you get rain. Yeah, where are you from originally? Atlanta.
Starting point is 00:53:38 I love Georgia, I love the weather in Georgia, but I like humidity. Oh, so do I. I have no problem with, I have no problem with like the, you know, what they're calling a heat wave. And I think it's supposed to get hotter, but like so far it's been fine. It's been really nice.
Starting point is 00:53:55 It doesn't bother me at all. There's nothing better than New York in the summer. New York in the spring. Oh. You don't like New York in spring? No, I do. I like it both. Yeah, it's great. It's the, one of the. Yeah, it's great.
Starting point is 00:54:05 It's one of the very few, it's really one of the very few times when New York smells okay is the spring. And it's, and you forget. New York is really, it's really too much of a dump. It's inexcusable at this point. Well, it depends.
Starting point is 00:54:20 Well, I agree with that. I think, like I was bummed out to hear that the congestion pricing thing fell through or governor. So what they were going to do, what a number of European cities do, where you, there's a certain part of Manhattan, I think it's from Midtown down to, I think, Battery Park, I'm not sure, but when you come in during certain hours, you're charged extra money. And then- No, I don't like any of that.
Starting point is 00:54:53 I love that because- No, no, no, no. I don't like- Can I explain? Yeah, fine. I'm already so upset by this that I can barely let you talk, but I have to. It's for rich people who live in the outer boroughs
Starting point is 00:55:05 who all take their own cars in. I see you might be able to go more for it. But wait. David, explain. Oh, because I like the rich. No, no, no, for the pricing. Yeah, okay. Let me explain how it's been successful in other cities
Starting point is 00:55:18 that also fought, you know, initially people fought back and now they all love it. But the money only, the extra money, only goes to improving the MTA, improving subways and buses. That's it, that's where all the money goes to. The other thing is that there are less cars on the street, which is a good thing because, you know,
Starting point is 00:55:39 especially with commercial traffic and double parking and stuff, these streets are not made for big wide trucks. You know, they were built for horses. And the idea that the rich people can afford it. So all those things considered less traffic and the money goes into really needed- Can I explain, can we talk about the money for a second?
Starting point is 00:56:04 Something that really, really infuriates me is the fact that there's any premium on something like public transit. We raise more than enough tax dollars, and I think we should raise more by taxing the rich properly, and ending the loopholes and everything else about corporations being able to identify as people
Starting point is 00:56:27 and whatever nonsense we have going on. Yeah, I totally agree with that. It is, we are so normalized at the fact that we have privatized public, like the fact that you even buy a ticket, public transit should be 100% free. If it is not free, and there's more than enough money to do it if people aren't stealing the money
Starting point is 00:56:52 from within the systems that collect the money. Or, but also where we, with each mayoral administration, taking money from one thing and giving it to the cops, say. Yeah, federal, the federal federal administration, taking money from one thing and giving it to the cops, say. Yeah, exactly. Giving cops an extra billion dollars. All of that, all of that. But I think most of,
Starting point is 00:57:13 and most of it is the sucking from, from, you know, the bloating, the political bloating that we have going on, or the administrative bloating that we have going on where everybody is grabbing their salary and it adds up. That's part of it. Yeah. Beyond that, okay, it's not free. It's not $1 a ride. It's $3 a ride, okay. Plus, what is a monthly cost now?
Starting point is 00:57:35 I don't know. Like $100, $9. With Omni, it's 30, you get. 34 a week, right? 34 a week, yeah. So it's about $100 if you buy the pass. Okay, I think there are, they said there was six million pass riders. So that's 600. Yeah, so it's about $100 if you buy the pass. Okay, I think there are,
Starting point is 00:57:45 they said there was a six million pass writers. So that's 600. I don't think that's quite exactly. No, six million buy like a monthly or something, some number like that. I think it's about six million buy the monthly. So not even the single. But I don't think it's a hundred for the month.
Starting point is 00:58:00 But anyway. It's like a hundred and nine last time I bought it. It's something like that, okay. Let's just round down to 100 for an adult. So now you have 600 million or do the math, a month that you're getting revenue. That's not even talking about the people who ride single daily, anything.
Starting point is 00:58:15 These are people who just hold the pass. For 600 million a month in privatized, you can't, it's probably close to one billion a month. Like it probably is close to that. You're gonna get no argument from me. And so it's so crazy that we're so used to double dipping that taxes are supposed to go to this thing, but also you're gonna privately pay for it.
Starting point is 00:58:38 Yeah, I'm with you. But if you said to me in a very, in a real- So I don't believe the system will work as you mentioned it because no other system has. This will end up being somehow a way for them to get more money from the rich to go to other rich things. I don't know how, but I have no faith.
Starting point is 00:58:57 Yeah, I mean, perhaps, but the idea, yes. The idea was, I think in part to address that very concern is- Just address the concern. Is that the money would go specifically to the MTA. There's enough money. Now let's just, now let's just, there's enough money. Like we have to just address the concerns that are concerning.
Starting point is 00:59:18 Robbie, I'm with you. I think this city is poorly managed, has been for a long time and- I don't vote, I don't recycle, I am done. I do nothing. This is after Bernie, they lost me. Had the DNC come out and said, we're so embarrassed, we cheated the system, we're sorry. I could take an apology.
Starting point is 00:59:38 But to do me like that, and there's no acknowledgement, I'm not voting. I'm not going to that fucking COVID infested school across the street. I'm giving this to that and that to that. I don't do local. I don't do federal. I do nothing. I am just trying to live my life child-free until the day I die. And that is it.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Child-free is a big part of it. No, child-free because, because for them, then I would have to start to think about, but I don't care about your kids. I don't care about anybody's kids anymore, I am done. I used to, I was, it took too much out of me and you've depleted me and I can't anymore and I'm sorry, you ruined me. Wow, well, that's a lot on my shoulders.
Starting point is 01:00:18 It's a lot, it's a lot. You have a kid so you have to think about these things. I thought about them before I had a kid because I have family and I have friends who are affected by policies that- I only really care about Gabby now, and us giving each other the best lives we can give now. We both had really tumultuous childhoods in many ways,
Starting point is 01:00:39 and now we get to infantilize each other in a way that feels really nice and cozy and fun. And I'm taking a page from Gay Men Double Income No Kids. I think Dyches can learn a little bit from this. And it seems to free you from responsibility to your fellow human. Yeah, I don't have, yeah. No, no, no, I used to feel that.
Starting point is 01:01:01 But because my responsibility was taken advantage of by people I trusted, they broke me. There's a repair that needs to happen. And I don't know what that repair is, but you haven't repaired it. Biden did not repair it for me. There's not been repair. Okay. So, but what if things get markedly, demonstrably worse for... I feel it's as worse as... You don't think it can get worse? I do think it can, but... And you don't wanna prevent that?
Starting point is 01:01:33 But does it need to get worse for it to get better? I don't believe I can. I think I have nothing to do with it anymore. Well, you've chosen not to have anything to do with it. It's not like... No, I don't think I have chosen. I think they've let me know that my vote doesn't matter. I think we are, I think we're at a place
Starting point is 01:01:50 where it's another ruse like any, why should I believe that my vote has anything to do with anything when nothing else has anything to do with anything? They have proven time and time again that they've diluted what the vote means and really it's about the electoral and really it's about money.
Starting point is 01:02:05 If the government went back to working for the people instead of corporations and lobbyism, I could maybe that could be a start to a repair. But right now- What about locally? What about in small- No, first of all, you don't want me voting locally because I see anything to do with kids or schools,
Starting point is 01:02:18 I'm a no. Okay, so people actually don't want me low. I get the school out of here. I don't care. I don't need to be woken up by the bell after I had three shows the night before, I got a 7.30 a.m. bell across the street, it's ridiculous, get in the class.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Why don't you move? I know, because I have such a good rent control, you can't imagine my place. All right, Robbie, I wanna thank you for coming on and I wanna give you this God on film blockbuster lessons for biblical learning. Thank you, I can't wait. The Journey Church, there's uplifting music.
Starting point is 01:02:56 No, it's a beautiful thing. They spell kids with a Z, so that's fun. Kids love that. That is fun, yeah. Kids love it when they get to purposely miss Belle saying, I'm gonna give you that, you can have the soft and chewy. Now I close every show with a question. This is gonna be interesting
Starting point is 01:03:13 because of the last two minutes your monologue on. Listen, by the way, I am not an example. So do not listen, I am an example for zero people. Yeah. So I, I know, I know, I'm with your phony. So I ask a question from my daughter, Marlo. How old is she? Seven.
Starting point is 01:03:43 Oh, cute. Some of these questions were when she was six, but... Okay. And you've answered the however you see fit. Great. All right. So the question to you, Robbie Hoffman. Robbie Hoffman on Instagram. My question to you, Robbie Hoffman on Instagram.
Starting point is 01:04:00 My question to you, Robbie Hoffman on Instagram from Marlo. When was the Tooth Fairy born? I feel like she's kind of, maybe she's a 1920s girl. I don't know, I feel like she came about like during the fairy tale, what was his name who made all the fairy tales? Hans Christian Andersen?
Starting point is 01:04:37 No. Oh, the Brothers Grimm? Yeah, like the Grimm fairy tales. Okay. The Grimm, yeah, Grimm's or whatever. The Brothers Grimm. Is that what it is? Yes.
Starting point is 01:04:49 I think she was probably born then. Are you thinking Mother Goose? Like whenever fairy, like when was like the original Snow White? I think that's Old Testament. No, the original Snow White. No, I think that's in Exodus. No, the Disney version.
Starting point is 01:05:03 When did they make this? Probably 40s, 50s? Yeah, the 40s, yeah, maybe the 40s. And the Tooth Fairy was born. So you're just giving a decade? Yeah. No, I don't think they had the Tooth Fairy before that. I'd be very surprised.
Starting point is 01:05:22 No, I just thought it'd be more specific, but you're just saying somewhere in the 50s. The Tooth Fairy was born in the 50s. I think the 40s. The 40s. I think when Dumbo came out. 1940s. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Yeah, probably the 40s or Jungle Book, whenever these original, and I would encourage your daughter to look up, when did Dumbo, when did all these stories? I don't have her on the, because she's not gonna look anything up for quite a while. Well, you don't have the encyclopedia at home. We had the world books at home.
Starting point is 01:05:49 No, we did not. We do not have the. Oh, you don't? Well, we looked up. We don't have the. That was my internet growing. My mother would be like, why don't you do the world book? I'm like, ma, like we had the child craft books too. But I'm so bored, ma, there's nothing to do.
Starting point is 01:06:01 She'd be like, why don't you take the child craft? And I would, sure. But you grew up in Montreal. Is that not a kid-friendly? No, it is. But my mother was a reader. We still didn't, even in my house, it was very similar to how we grew up here.
Starting point is 01:06:17 It's not like we had suddenly a million things to do. We did no extracurricular activities. I was very good at art as a kid. And for a long time I thought I would be like a portrait artist. I did very well in high school and stuff like that. And I remember the teacher. We're done. No, we're almost done right after the story.
Starting point is 01:06:40 The teacher spoke to my mother and said, you know, Riffka is really into art. She really responds well to the class. We do a once a week extracurricular. I teach it myself. You know, my mother was like, how much is it? And then I think it was like literally $30 extra the year. Like, I don't even know.
Starting point is 01:06:57 And my mother was like, we're happy with the art program just the way it is, thank you. We never paid for anything extra, never did anything extra. Yeah. You're bored, pick up the child's craft, go outside. Well, you turned out okay. I mean, you're a bit- Okay is relative, yes. A bit of a misanthrope, but-
Starting point is 01:07:13 What does that mean? Like hating, you know, like just, no. So positive, what kind of a thing is this? Kids in the world, in America. What do you mean? But I love, I love a beautiful day. You love a beautiful day. All right.
Starting point is 01:07:29 And a good day to you. All right, Robbie, thank you so much. Thank you so much. And I appreciate it. I'm sorry I was a couple minutes late. I'm sorry you were 30 minutes early. Yeah. That things happened.
Starting point is 01:07:40 I heard you were on tight schedule. I said I was on a tight, I still am. I need to get the fuck out of here and get home. He has to get out of here to go home. I have a podcast to do. Whose podcast? It's for, I want to say Entrepreneur Magazine, but it's like a live thing. Oh shit, I got to do those.
Starting point is 01:07:57 Ads. Yeah. Fudge. Okay. Okay. Goodbye. Sense is Working Over Time is a headgum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton
Starting point is 01:08:09 and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchin for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum, visit Headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not gonna do that. That was a HeadGum Podcast.

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