Senses Working Overtime with David Cross - Scott Aukerman

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

Catch all new episodes every Thursday. Watch video episodes here.Guest: Scott AukermanSubscribe and Rate Senses Working Overtime on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!Follow David on Instagram and Twitter.Follow the show:Instagram: @sensesworkingovertimepodTikTok: @swopodEditor: Kati SkeltonEngineers: Anya Kanevskaya and Casey DonahueExecutive Producer: Emma FoleyAdvertise on Senses Working Overtime via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Hey guys, just announced a big show in Central Park on the Summer Stage, part of the Summer Stage series called David Cross and Super Pals. That's going to be August 8th. It's going to be amazing. I've got all kinds of really cool special guests. I know we got Bob Odenkirk, Sarah Silverman, Sean Patton, Fred Armisen, many, many, many more. Go to officialdavidcross.com. That'll have all the information for that. And the pre-sale, it just went out and the

pre-sale code is funfun. I believe it's. FUNFUN. David Cross and SuperPals, August 8th, Central Park. Come down. It's easy Touch, touch, touch Day, day, day Smile It's easy You have your choice of which seat. Totally up to you. What would you... What's your opinion?

Well you don't have. I mean that's an easy... I'll do this. Okay. How you doing? I'm good, man. How you doing? Good. How long have you been here? Just for the week.

Just doing a bunch of these. You know, I have a podcast now. That's what I'm here to do, I think. Oh! Yeah, yeah. I thought it was a... Just a social visit? I thought it was a coincidence.

I thought you stopped in to get out of the rain. All right, well... I've been stopping in every business along this trip. Um... Oh, would you like some... Sorry, I didn't even know these were here. Okay. Um...

So yeah, so you're here for a whole week and just to do the show? I'm just... Yeah, I'm here for Monday through Friday doing... Knocking a bunch of these out here, and then doing some other people's podcasts to promote the special which is coming out. All right, phones on funny noise. Wednesday afternoon to do my show.

I'll tell you right now. I don't think so. It's a pretty packed? Uh, I'll tell you right now. I don't think so. It's a pretty packed schedule, but I'll tell you. Wednesday... 2... I could do later. Later later. It's...

2pm. Uh... I'm doing 2. I'm doing 2 back to back. Two might be pushing it. Okay. Let me just have a real New York show with Todd Barry, Griffin Newhune, Connor Ratliff. I don't know any of those, who any of those people are. Let's get you set up there. Oh, I don't want to ask you about that. We didn't hear back so we just went with that one.

Yeah, I think this is okay. I mean this is what, a Shure or? This is... Shure, there it is. SM7Bs, yeah. They kind of cornered the market on this stuff. I know. Is this going to be a good position? Position. Hey, you know what? I was walking over here and I, honestly,

I was like, hey man, are you still a big 21 Pilots fan? I mean, what do you consider a big fan to be of 21 Pilots? Back, you're the one a big fan to be of 21 pilots back, back. You, you're the one who introduced me to them. And I know you had been, uh, doing a lot of stuff in, um, in Vegas with them. Yeah. It was like part of the street team. Yeah.

Yeah. And I was, I was. And the show in Vegas, like the thing, the, the dangling off the, not dang, you know, uh, the ribbons or whatever. Yeah, exactly, the ribbons attached to the zeppelins. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But I was a huge fan of like 17 of the pilots, honestly. Four of them were not my cup of tea,

but when you get in with the 21 pilots. Hang on. You do the math. I did it. Yeah, you did it. Uh, okay. So four were not good. Let's be honest.

Four of them just absolutely stink at the whole piloting. Not, I mean, disregard the music. Okay. Like just at the basic piloting, they're bad. Right. And so, you know, but you, you take the bad pilots with the good pilots when you're in the 21 pilots crew, you know?

I guess you have to. So, so yeah, I got really involved with them for. Well, that's where the phrase comes from. You got to take the bad pilots with the good pilots. With the good pilots when you're in the pilots crew. Oh, geez, I never, I never put that together, okay. So I worked with them for not that long, maybe nine years, and I just, you know,

at a certain point, it gets to the point where you're like, I could be one of these pilots. Yeah. And you throw your hat in the ring, your pilot's cap in the ring, is the way they say it. Where's the ring? The ring, I'm talking about the movie, The Ring. Oh, okay. Yes.

So you throw your hat at a copy of The Ring? You throw your hat at a television set, hoping that the little girl will crawl out of it and grab the hat. So The Ring has to be playing. Yes, exactly. Oh, okay, got it. Got it.

But, you know, it just kind of, we party company and it was a bad scene after a while. You know, cause I wanted to be one of the pilots. I wanted to be up there on stage flying the plane. Sure, sure. How did they take your, and what did you tell them? Or your reason for that?

Right. I laid it all out there and I was very honest with the guys or as honest as I could be, which is, you know, I was keeping a lot of stuff close to the vest. Well, you lie sometimes. You'll lie occasionally. Yeah, I'm notoriously just a huge,

the technical term is fibber. Mm-hmm. But I laid it all out there and they honestly were kind of like, Oh, you've been working for us for nine years. They had no idea I was part of the organization. That must've been awkward. I had wondered because I had never received a

paycheck, but you know, I mean, this is before Zelle and Venmo and exactly. Oh yeah. This is like where it was entertainment partners was in charge of everything. Oh, well that, come on Scott. Uh, that's a little Hollywood talk for, uh, for folks out there.

To Hollywood for, yeah. They're the payroll service. I know you're in New York now, so. Yeah. What, what is it in New York? What do they call entertainment partners out there? Uh, 23Skidoo. Oh right.

Yes. Yeah. And, uh, now I gotta go back because this is gonna. Let's go backwards because I know that's recent. Yeah, this is gonna bug me. What if it's the Ring 2? I mean, it's not, is it the same little girl

in the Ring 2? This is the issue. You want it to be the classic Ring girl who's like, you know, crawling right out of the television. You know? You know what, I just thought of something. What about a mashup of the girl in the ring crawling out of the television to the girl,

well, dead now, but who was in Poltergeist, who's like, they're here. Can we- Or they're back. Okay, honestly? Yeah. This is a great idea. Yeah.

Can we erase this from the show? Because I wanna work on- We're not even taping yet. Oh really? I wanna work on this with you. Yeah Because I wanna work on it. We're not even taping yet. Oh really? I wanna work on this with you. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh great, we're not taping yet. No, no, no.

Oh, okay. But I'm ready to go, y'all are ready to go. Hopefully, I thought this was all being taped. No. I thought you were doing a Chris Hardwick style where you just start. Did Chris Hardwick invent that? Well, he would walk into,

you'd be waiting for him for 10 minutes and he would walk in 10 minutes late and then for him for 10 minutes and he would walk in 10 minutes late and then just sit down and just start talking to you. And the first five minutes you assume is chit chat. Right. And then it comes out. I think that's a smart idea. That's what I do do.

I'm going to turn over all the cards and reveal that. Oh, okay. Yes, I do do that. And I had Marin in here in this very seat. And he's like, you know, I started that. Really? Yeah. So Marc Marin wants credit for something? This is unprecedented. He also credited himself with the mics, I think. Was that right?

With using mics? Not using mics. No, he said he- But pointing them at people's mouths. He invented the microphone. No, he used a specific kind of mic. A specific one. Yeah, that's interesting. We used the, because my show started at a radio station,

so we- Well, you invented the podcast. Let's be- Conan O'Brien, let's be honest, invented the podcast. Conan, I didn't know that. I thought it was Beth Lapidus. No? All right. I remember Beth. I haven't seen her Lepidus. Nope. Remember Beth. Seen her in a long time.

Have you? No, I live in New York. Oh, that's right. Oh yeah. Why did you ever move to New York? I meant to ask you that. I think the better question is why did I ever move to LA? Oh, right.

I, I, my little quip is I, but it's true. I moved to LA to make enough money to move away from LA and never look back. And I didn't, you know, I'm not a huge fan and. What is it you don't like about LA? I'll tell you, it's the things that people like and love about LA, which I get, I understand, I have zero interest in. I don't care about the beach, especially that beach. I love a good beach. So you don't like the beach and you don't like the skiing, which you can do in one day while you live in California.

Which I've done it. I mean, I can do that in New York. Really, so you go to, you surf in the morning and then you go skiing at night? You could. In New York? How many times have you done it? Never, I have no interest in it.

I do it every day. Here. Okay, every day. Here. Okay, every day. Every day. You have a child. My gas bill is enormous. Well, you know, you gotta. You gotta pursue what you love though.

But you're a pilot. That's right. Did you get your license? No, I'm unlicensed, which is, it's hard when they try to pull you over. It's. In the air? In the air, yeah.

What the? Wait. They'll fly next to you and like roll the siren and be like- And they gesticulate with their fingers. Yeah, they gesticulate, yeah. Like, well, and where do you pull over if you're in a plane?

No, you just kind of move over to the side of the air. It's very- Yeah, it makes, I don't get it. It doesn't make any sense. I don't know. Anyway, it's great to see you. Yeah, you too. You too.

I've always had fun doing your podcast. Yeah. Well, you just turned it down. Well, that was because of scheduling. Oh, because of scheduling. Like schedules can't be moved. Okay, I understand. No, I'm not going to call people who have had this in their books for weeks, if a month at least and go hey so I've got opportunity to do Scott Aukerman's podcast if I Aukerman if I Aukerman Scott Aukerman he's got a piece does podcast he had a show comedy bang bang it comedy bang bang it was Bang. Mention IFC.

IFC. Mention IFC, yeah, yeah. Hang on a second, hang on a second. They're not under. They don't know what IFC is? They don't seem to. Tell them it used to be the independent film channel. It used to be the independent film channel.

And they decided it wasn't gonna stand for anything anymore. And they decided it wasn't gonna stand for anything. Mention Portlandia. Portlandia. Portlandia. Portland, the city. Portland, the city. Seattle. No, Oregon.

Oregon, not Maine. Just United States. United States of America? Hi, Black History Month, anyone? Earth. Earthlings? Jeez. Milky Way.

All right, forget it, I'm hanging up. Whoa! Whoa! Get this the fuck out of here. Well, for those of you at home, Scott has knocked over one of these 60s mod, Lucite, whatever things. Here, put that up.

I feel like I am constantly mapping. I got it, I got it, I got it. I can do it with my foot. Okay, David. I can do it myself! Move! Who are you, Christy Brown? Anyway, good reference. Yeah, he was using my left foot.

Mm-hmm, literally. Yeah. Because he used to do it like metaphorically all the time. He'd be like, oh look, my left foot, and then he'd like sign autographs, but. Right. But he was like. My left foot, Brown.

Yep. You know what Bob did? Bob was over the other day, and he and my daughter get along famously. And he's been around there, been around since she was just born and so Uncle Bob was coming over and then Marlo has her art table set up

and she was working on this, her new thing is coral reefs. He's drawing it and Bob is really, as you might imagine, really good with little kids. And so he sat down- Can I imagine that? He is. He's- No, he actually is, yes. And he sat down and she's like, do you want to do some drawing with me? He's like, sure. And did, like, spend a half hour with him drawing his own coral reef. And then I didn't see this until the next day, but he had signed it. Bob, Bob better call Saul. Great.

No, he's really good with kids. At what point, when they turn 12, is that when he starts to have a problem with everyone or? Pretty, yeah, 12ish. Yeah. Around the Bat Mitzvah. It's, it's, it's, it's great. Cause, cause, uh, Aaron lives in Brooklyn and, uh, I've run into her at least three times. Just randomly. Oh, great.

Uh, last week. Is she going to NYU or? No, she's going to Pratt. Oh, Pratt. But she's graduated now. The Chris Pratt. She's going to his house. Chris Pratt, Chris Pratt, you say that six times.

Chris Pratt, you, Chris Pratt, you, that's how we in a row. Chris Pratt you, Chris Pratt you. That's how we used to warm up. That's two times, I said six. I, you know, just, can you stipulate I did it four more times or do I literally have to do it? This is live. Chris Pratt you, Chris Pratt you, Chris Pratt you, Chris Pratt you, there.

So you're gonna add them, gonna combine the two. You can combine the two, yeah. I can't do it two more times. Sounds good. But we used to do that before Mr. Show, remember? We used to do- Go to Chris Pratt's? Yeah, go over to do it two more times. Sounds good. But we used to do that before Mr. Show, remember? We used to do- Go to Chris Pratz? Yeah, go over to Chris Pratz.

This is before anyone knew who he was. Yeah, I didn't know who he was. Neither of us did. We were like, why are we going to this asshole's house? And he didn't live in LA yet. No. Yeah, it was weird. He was a baby at the time.

We were like, why are we going over to this baby's house? But we put in the time and now- And now look at him, God bless him. And someone like Christian homeschooled him because he's gone that, taking a little turn that. Yeah, that was after our work. I mean, there was a little overlap. Was there?

Yeah, there was like a two year overlap where we were Christian homeschooling him. Oh, we sent him on a mission, didn't we? We did. We sent him to Uganda, somewhere in Uganda. Yeah, we asked him just to get us donuts and he ended up in Uganda. It was just like crazy.

Yeah, there was a bit of a miscommunication. Yeah. Do you remember when at Mr. Show, we were writing the Mr. Show movie and we were trying to figure out what made a good comedy movie at the time? And so, and you had never seen like anything. And so, so.

Yeah, from now you go, like, you know, you guys would mention the Sandler and the Shrine movies and the Spade movies, like I can, I. So we were talking about Austin Powers and you were like, okay, I should just watch Austin Powers. So he sent our assistant out and you said, can you get me a DVD of Austin Powers? And then jokingly, as she walked out of the room,

you're like, the Criterion Collection Collection she spent all day looking for that particular Criterion Collection. She had seen like the regular edition in several stores but she went store to store to store looking for it and then called in tears and was like I can't find the Criterion Collection. That's one of those things that happened a lot for all of us, where you would make some jokey offhand comment and it would ruin somebody's day because they didn't know you were joking. Yes.

Yeah. That happened quite a bit. Yeah. Fun stuff. I, I watched about, I remember this too, it was, had moved here fairly recently, you know, at the time. And he was staying with three, one of them was crazy, they weren't all crazy, but just dumb girl roommates out in somewhere off Melrose. How did he get hooked up with him?

I think just Craigslist looked for a place to crash. And one of them was fucking bonkers. And I think meth, I think she was doing meth. Methamphetamine. And phetamines? Is that what they? No, no, sorry. Methylatum.

Oh, got it, got it. Methylatum, wrong. So methadone, so way into that. Just all over chest, you know, and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, ooh, smelly. And they were watching, none of this matters. I just was over there, we were going to go out and he was quite ready, so they were watching Austin Powers and I watched about 20 minutes of it and I was like,

this is awful. I mean, I am a, I'm. And I watched about 20 minutes of it, and I was like, this is awful. I mean, I am a, and I know it irritates people, but I don't like those movies, those kind of movies. As a member of the franchise, I take Umbridge with that. As well you know, I'm part of the Austin Powers family. And I was in number three, uh, the Austin powers universe. Yes.

The Austin power verse, um, the rest in power verse. I was a young Michael Caine. Were you? Yes. Is this, is this. This is true. This is legit. Yes.

So I, I, I did my audition where I worked up a Michael Caine like impression, which was okay. I couldn't really replicate it now, but it's something like, hello, I'm Michael Caine. And it was pretty good. I'm a little rusty now as you can see, but no, I worked it all up. I did, my hair was kind of long like his in the sixties.

Got the, like months went by, got the role, and they said, well, you have to go meet Mike and Jay at the studio before they give it to you officially. Roach, the director. Oh, okay. And did Bob give you an in on that? Cause he knows Michael. No, no, just, it was purely just audition.

So I went and- Oh, I meant like, did he tell Michael? No, no, they didn't, no. So I went to the studio where they were rehearsing one of the scenes in number three, where he's like crossing his legs or something. And I like watched it for a while. That sounds hilarious.

Wait, how did he cross his legs? Well, it was like one over the other and then reverse. Yeah. What? I'm sorry. So then they also crossed their arms at a certain point. Okay. Which was, yeah.

Oh, you. I haven't seen the scene. Oh, okay. For the movie. But that's not as funny to you? For the franchise. It sounds funny. There's a lot of potential, I think. So I then chit-chatted with them.

Oh, was it a fatal attraction spoof? Remember that had the- I think you're thinking of a different movie, they did- Oh, was it a fatal attraction spoof? Remember, that had the- I think you're thinking of a different movie, but I- When am I thinking of it? The Sharon- Sharon- Stone.

Basic Instinct. Basic Instinct. Right, right. It was not, it was like a Charlie Chaplin-esque kind of like physical comedy bit. Got it. But so I met them, I chit-chatted for maybe 20 minutes because they were big Mr. Show fans,

which makes you feel like an asshole right now for making fun of them. Oh, okay. Not at all. And so was talking to them about working on the show and they were very interested. And then I thought that was gonna be it and I was ready to leave and they were like,

okay, well, let's do this. And they said, turn around. And I like, okay, well, let's, you know, let's do this. And they said, turn around. And I said, okay. And this is sort of like, you know, and Alice doesn't live here anymore where she wants to be a singer and she meets like one of the piano bar people and he's like, turn around, honey, let me see you. And she's like, I'm a singer and I'm not singing out of my ass.

But so I turned around and they went, yeah, that's good. What? And I was like. out of my ass. But so I turned around and they went, yeah, that's good. What? And I was like- I can't tell if you're messing with me. I'm not, I'm not. Okay. This is a real story and I went, okay, they go, okay, you got it.

So they're fucking with you? No. So here's what happened. They had decided in between me auditioning and the few months for me getting the part that they were going to incorporate. Anytime you saw him from the front, they were going to incorporate scenes from a sixties movie

that Michael Caine was in. And then I was going to be him from the back. And so you see me like doing all the walking around and all that kind of stuff and you, and then it cuts too close up of him all the time. So I never got to do my audition or my voice or anything like that. So it didn't matter, they didn't even need you to.

No, they could have gotten any random asshole, but Jay was very nice. He was like coming up to me during the shooting, asking me my opinion on the scene and like, you know, like, oh, what would you do? And you know, so it was, it was a nice experience. I don't know where that is in the. Number three, you don't know it's come.

What year that was. Were you doing comedy bang bang, I guess. No, no, no, this is 2001, maybe somewhere around there. Yeah, so it was just off of the Mr. Show and then Run Ronnie Run. Right. Yeah, somewhere in there. People still, and I've learned to be much better about it

than I was. Still complimenting Run Ronnie Run? Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard, I mean, it's like complimenting someone, you know, like meeting someone and complimenting them on like, oh, your divorce was really great. It's like, thank you.

It's like such a fraught emotional experience. I've gotten way better about just, you know, but just going, oh, thanks. Yeah, I'm glad you liked it. You know, not launching into a bitter backstory about, I don't think it's good. It could have been much better, whatever. I have the memories of filming that or so,

because it was in Atlanta during the election. And I came to the set for a week. I had a tiny part, but I decided, I'd asked like, hey, can I come to the set and shadow? Yeah, yeah, and shadowed you as a director. And, um. I mean, Troy. Troy, yeah, and then the first scene of the first day,

I offered my opinion on what t-shirt you should wear, and I was banned from the set. It was, I mean, this story's been told a million times, but it was such a surprising, disappointing flip of a personality that we've been working with, uh, really well. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jekyll. It was.

Remember that sketch? No, what was that? That was for Mr. Cho. That was Dino was trying to write it for a while. Then I did a pass. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jekyll. It was a horror movie where Dr. Jekyll drank a serum and then he fell down behind the desk and then his diploma disappeared off the wall. Oh, that's funny. Why didn't we do it?

I don't know. We could never quite figure out how it ended. I think I wrote a musical version of it where he had the serum that was going to do it. And I remember one lyric I wrote a musical version of it where he had the serum that was gonna do it and I remember one lyric I wrote was, I would rather drink this bottle in front of me than perform a frontal lobotomy. And it just never, I don't think we could ever figure out how to- There's so many sketches and ideas that were- Officer lady guts. Officer lady guts.

Simply trying to shoehorn a sketch idea into a prop. Or a prop into a sketch idea. What was I gonna say though? About Atlanta. No, no. I was filming. Oh, go ahead. Is that, oh, that was your- No, no, no. You were saying that there was, yeah, it was a flip of a personality. Oh, it was just awful. I mean, we didn't anticipate, I mean, how could we really? And it was, and then being lied to, and then... There was a very interesting,

I'll be non-specific about it, but there was an interesting example of like, all of us being sent contracts to sign at the same time and being told every one of us had already signed it and then we all called each other and we're like, are you signing this? Oh, I don't remember that. I remember the relinquishing Bob and I sitting in at the desk with Troy behind the desk and he was explaining, we kind of relinquish some authority and rights. There was a music thing too, like the rights to the music. That's what Neil, the late great Neil Mahoney was, we never would have known, because we were believing

all this stuff that was being told to us. We never would have known, we suspected it. I remember exactly where I was when Neil called me. I was on Vermont, crossing the street over by that Starbucks. And he called me and he's like, I've got the emails of him. He called them Eames at the time because no one knew really what to call them. So we were like shortening it at the time of like,

people will probably shorten this to Eans. We'll see if it takes off. It never took off. It never took off. But I've been memeing to say something for, what? Hey, there's a use. Anyway. No, I remember, yeah, it was, you suspected it,

but you're sort of like the Hercule Poirot of the Mr. Show crowd where you always had a nose for that kind of thing. And a pipe. Yep. And if anyone was ever murdered on the set, you were always the one who were like, you stepped up and you're like, I'll solve this.

Yeah. Lock the doors. And yeah, and I suspected it cause it just didn't seem right. And I was in contact with some of the, you know, Sean Marshall and the Ween guys and there were a suspected it because it just didn't seem right. And I was in contact with some of the, you know, Sean Marshall and the Ween guys and there were a couple, I want to say, pavement we had for a song. Yeah, I don't know.

I remember Sean, Cat Power was going to sing What's Your Name, Little Girl. Oh, cool. Which I thought she would have crushed. But she never ended up doing it. We got some bands to do some of the songs. We got Nashville Pussy to do Flirtin' With Disaster, which was great. Yeah, and we got the Vandals to do Dirty White Boy. Yep. And then we had the stuff lined up.

I can't remember, Ween was gonna do Champagne Jam. But Ween, so Ween, I don't know if you remember this, but I wrote a song for the end credits about where it was like, it was kind of like a poppy Huey Lewis tune about the movie you just saw and what you felt about, like how much you enjoyed it. Which fit in with our original idea of breaking it up.

Right. So I wrote this song and I went and recorded it, singing it. And I'm, not to brag, but I went to theater school and I'm an okay singer. Well, that's not a brag to anybody. Oh, that's right. Not even the people in theater school. There's not a single human being on the planet who considers that bragging. But I remember like. I'm sorry, I've held my silence for too long. And I must address the committee. But I can sing, so I recorded it in a studio, did a professional job, gave it to the director

and the director, you know, under our instructions, like put this over the end credits, he had a problem with me. And so he was like, Scott can't sing. This sucks. Oh, you've talked about Troy? Yes. Yes.

Yeah. He had a problem with everybody. But he was like, Scott, he said this specifically, Scott can't sing. This is terrible. Uh, and so you guys were like, well, let's get someone else to sing it, I guess. So you got the dude from Ween to sing it.

Oh, really? Okay. I then would play it for anyone and people would go, is this you? Like it sounded exactly like my voice. And then he turned it way down in the mix. You can't even hear it in the movie. Fucking ego in that guy.

It was nuts. And I remember it was fairly early on in the shooting how angry I got. And this kind of feeling and philosophy has, I still carry with me when I'm working on projects. And I will tell, if I'm not directing it, but I'm writing and acting or producing whatever, I'll tell the director, I would rather sacrifice. Looking good for. The cool shot. The interesting cool shot that takes four hours.

More time for the actors to improvise. Literally. It was tough because you and Bob are two of the human beings in the world. No, you're two of the funniest actors and good improvisers. And then you were only allowed to do two takes You're two of the funniest actors and good improvisers. And then you were only allowed to do two takes, every scene.

The specific scene I'm talking about, I don't think you were there yet on set, but it was, again, relatively early, was the spinning tire. I take the school bus and whatever, woohoo! So there's this, close on a spinning tire. The camera then moves 180 degrees. A massive, massive jib.

It pulls up. You see that you see the bus and then it comes, pulls back about whatever that would be, 45, 80, to 90 degrees to show you that the bus is on its side and it's in this massive field. And then it turns over again, I think. It's just, I mean, that was- It took so long to set up.

That was half a day of shooting and we lost all that other stuff. Who gives a fuck? Nobody cares about that shot. Nobody. Yeah. No fucking person. I mean, that said, the movie I directed, I went the opposite way and I was like, I don't care how this looks.

I just want everyone to improv and we made our schedule every single day and everyone was like improv'd out by the end of it. We did so much improv in it. And there's a car crash in that, that I look at and go like, fuck, I wish I would have spent like a little more time. It's not exciting. Okay. and go like, fuck, I wish I would have spent like a little more time. It's not exciting. Okay, but does it need to be exciting for the forward the story, for the purpose of the story?

Or do you just take a shortcut? It just kind of laid flat. Like you see the car crash and it just kind of laid flat a little bit. And I was like, you know, if I had just filmed in exciting car crash, maybe the audience would have enjoyed this beat a little bit more, but at the end of the day,

it didn't matter probably at all, but I don't know. It's like such a, I just thought, I really, that experience was so instructive to me and this kind of stuff that I've done, where it's like, no, no, I wanna shoot a lot in everything that I do because, and hopefully we can make it look good too, but you know, we're doing comedy and comedy is supposed to be like silly and dumb.

I was, who was I talking to? I was talking to somebody, I think it was actually on this podcast, I don't remember who, but talking about how a big budget kills comedy quite often. You don't need it. Talking about how a big budget kills comedy quite often. You don't need it. A good comedy does not need a $30 million budget. Yeah, I don't know.

It just depends on what the director wants to spend time on. Well, clearly. A $30 million budget would be okay if you have a director who's like, yeah, but I wanna use this to make sure that everyone can fuck around and still make it good or whatever. Well, you should be able to do that with seven million.

You know, it's, I mean, obviously the weightlessness sequence would take some time. Yeah, I mean, we're talking about comedies in space. Yeah. Yeah. Which is a whole subgenre. Yeah. You know, I're talking about comedies in space. Yeah. Um, yeah. We, I mean that- Which is a whole sub genre. Yeah.

You know, I don't know if you've been on the dark web recently. Uh, I mean, not recently. I think I was there maybe 45 minutes ago, but not recently. Oh, it's great, Scott. So much has changed. So much has changed since 45 minutes.

Well, now 46 minutes ago. Really? Yeah. It's like, it's a whole, whole other world, whole new world. Is Bufu Master still on there? Uh, twice. Really? What's been going down there? Yeah, it's a whole other world, whole new world. Is Boofoo Master still on there? Twice. Twice?

Yeah. In the past 45 minutes? Yeah. I love his post. Yeah. He's a good man? Woman? I don't know.

He makes fun of people putting pronouns in bio, so. Oh, is that a real person or a real thing? Boofoo Master, or did you make it up? Oh, okay. Makes sense. No, it's, comedy is meant to be just people being silly, which is why Mr. Show, the show was so good, because you guys were just like having fun on set,

and you know. Yeah, I mean, a lot of people, yeah, I mean, it makes total sense to them when you sort of highlight what, why it was successful, but it was a bunch of friends and, or people became friends. There's no ego on the show, which is, I think was part of it's success. Yeah, I mean, other than you and Bob.

Oh, we were nightmares, terrors. And he can't sing, he can't sing. All right. No, I mean, that's what's interesting about like, I think sketch shows are really good when they're a group of like tight knit friends who have worked together for a while. Oh, the best. I mean, when you, when you go back to, um, well, Python were two groups that came together, um, but you know, quickly figured their thing out.

And even SNL was the first. Well, the first, yeah, SNL those guys came from, uh, Toronto, right? The second city in both Chicago and Toronto. Chicago and Toronto. Yeah. And knew each other and, Toronto. Chicago and Toronto, yeah. And knew each other. Yeah. And also National Lampoon's Radio Hour.

Yeah. And yeah, and then Mr. Show and again, kids went all. So it's always weird to me, and this was my point of view, a while. The Edge, you know. Yeah, I mean, you two have The Edge, Bono, they all knew each other. Yeah. But no, sitcoms though, when they make them, they go the opposite way and they like,

cast them from a bunch of random people who don't know each other and they all have to go through like pilot auditions and then testing at the network. And then they wonder why so many of them are not funny and the cast isn't gelling, you know. And Friends was really an anomaly where like those six people just happened to do really well and everyone kind of goes like,

well, they didn't know each other and so let's replicate this. But I used to be like obsessed with the idea of making a sitcom with just friends who had worked together for, you know, five years or 10 years or whatever, you know, cause I think you'd get chemistry that you wouldn't get. Yeah, absolutely.

But it's less about with sitcoms, there's no subtlety to it. There never has to be subtlety and there's nothing. Perhaps you haven't seen my friend Young Sheldon. Oh, the nerd. The older you get, the more you find yourself wanting to be more intentional about the way you live, eat, and take care of your body. The old adage, you are what you eat, rings true.

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Are you are you I saw you and you hurt my feelings you're really that are you that was fun. Yeah. Was it fun? Oh, so much fun. She's awesome. Nicole, I don't know if you've ever met. I haven't. Bob was telling me that she did some episodes of his show, which I really liked his show, which was... Was it Nobody the Movie, the show? No, yeah. The animated show about Nobody the Movie. Yeah, about the making of Nobody the Movie. Lil' Nobody.

Yeah, Lil' Nobodies, like Muppet Babies for the movie Nobody. No, but yeah, I hear she's great, and you were really funny, and then Zach Cherry, I know, was really funny in it, I thought, where he would. I mean, she's, you know, to our point about take your time and let the cast, you know,

feel it out, and you know, that's what she did. I'll tell you, I asked her this too when we went to the screening. I improvised this line about where Amber says something to me, for those of you don't know. What? That's my impression of Boston Rob on Survivor saying the word Amber. What is it? Amber.

I don't know what any of those things are. That's for a certain section of your audience that will find that very funny. All right. Well, these guys know these guys. Uh, anyway, um, Boston Rob, because he's from Boston. That's probably 90% of why they call him that. What's the other 10%?

He would go to Boston Market every day. Because he's from Boston? They would sail him. This is true, during Survivor, everyone's hungry, they're foraging for coconuts and rice and roast chicken. It's true, during Survivor, everyone's hungry, they're foraging for like coconuts and rice. And roast chicken. And roast chicken, and they would sail him to Boston Market every day.

And then he would come back and he would be like, I found this chicken in the woods. Yeah. I'll have to watch it. I really do, I say this every day, I need to watch more TV. I need to watch more reality TV. And we'll get back to your hilarious Nicole story

in a second, but what is with your daughter? How old is your daughter now? She'll be seven next week. What's the screen time? Like what are your- Usually you get a reaction when you say that about your kid. You get a, especially somebody who also has a kid, you get a like, oh wow, that's kid, you know, like, uh, Oh,

wow, that's great. Oh, well, six, uh, seven, seven, seven, right. Six, right after six comes after six. Right, right before eight. Uh, yeah, but do you know why this is for real? Why is a true thing? You guys can look it up. Um, do you know why six was scared of seven?

I don't know. Because seven, eight, nine. Oh no. Really? So we don't have nine anymore? Yeah. It's like the Japanese hotel elevators. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, ten?

Yep. But ten now becomes nine. So ten means nine and eleven means 10 and so on and so on? Up until you get to 24, then it goes back again. I literally had a dream last night. This is reminding me. I literally had a dream last night. This has just come back to me.

So you know how we have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine? I do know that. And then once you get up to the 20s, it's how we have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. I do know that. And then once you get up to the 20s, it's like 21, 20, you know, it's 20 plus. Oh shit, I never realized. But. Oh wait, that's not what you were. That's not what I'm doing.

So, but what we have in between 10 and 19 are 11, 12, like these weird words, 11, 12. And then you have 13 for three teen, 14, you know, like, so I have this dream that I was like, cut the shit, we're regulating this. We're going to call it 10 T one, 10 T two, 10 T three, 10 T four, 10 T five, 10 T six, 10 T seven, 10, 27, 28, 29. Wow. That didn't help.

Did that help the world or? I mean, I feel like it is confusing. English is a very confusing language, they say. Like it's one of the hardest languages to learn. Well, the rules are all over the place with, especially with O-U-G-H can pronounce this way or that way. Foul.

Yeah. And intenses and yeah, all that stuff. Don't even talk to me about before C. No, I won't. I will try not to bring that up, but can we cut that out, guys? Yeah, I can't. Yeah, that's the one thing I need cut out. Yeah, that can't put, yeah, that's the one thing I need cut out. Yeah, that's, yeah.

So tell me your story about what Amber said in the movie. You, you ripped a line in the movie. Yeah, oh, at the, yeah, so Amber said something about, you know, your mom, da da da da da, and then I turned and said, she died three days ago or something like that. She's only been dead for a week, whatever. And everybody laughed. And so if you watch the movie, they cut out

because people laugh. People are laughing, oh, that's funny. So they have to cut something else. Not that great of a story, but. I love that story. Honestly, I think it's one of the great showbiz stories. I think you should save it for Carson though. Don't waste it on this.

All right. When I get to heaven. Yep. Heaven's man. I'll tell you what, heaven's band. Oh, Doc Severinsen on trumpet, Jimmy on guitar, Keith Moon on drums, Adolf Hitler on the bass. Yep.

And then, uh, and- Whole pod on like- Whole pod on the vibraphone. Yeah. Heaven's Band, man. Yeah, love it. And Heaven's Tonight Show. We got Red Buttons. Sure.

No, he's still live, I think. Is Red Buttons still alive? For the moment. He can't be. For the moment. He can't be. Is he? Casey, look up the buttons red live question mark. Just live buttons, live buttons.

He's been dead for years. He's dead. He's been dead for years. Years, not just days, like your mom. No. I did wanna ask you about that movie because you and Amba are doing like. I mean, sure, why not?

You're doing like. That's not even a good Boston accent. No, it would be like, Amba, that's a Boston accent, Amba. This is true to him though, he goes, Amba. Well that just sounds kind of dumb, Neanderthal. Yeah, you're getting it. But there's nothing Boston about it. Yeah, you're getting it now.

But you guys were in therapy, doing like couples therapy in it. How much of it was based on real conversations that you've had or did you? All of it. Was it really? Yeah. So you guys just laid it all out there.

We put it all out there. Wow. Yeah, and most of it is, didn't make it cause it's inappropriate and we didn't wanna, but yeah, we got into it. We did- And you mentioned the people you're cheating with by name. That was the other issue.

Well- Couldn't get clearance for the names. Critically, you know, I didn't say the full real name. I say Candy, you know, and you figured it out. Candida. Oh shit. I just figured it out. You're good. Yeah. Yeah. Did that lead to any sort of issues of like,

where you actually brought up something that was like a sore spot or anything like that? Or was it? Well, I kept calling her by her real name. So that was- Wait, what's her real name? Amba. Oh, okay, right.

I called the character by her real name and then when I was yelling- Oh, I see, she was, you were both playing some other characters, right? Yeah, we pitched it as like, hey, what if we are in this movie and we're actually playing ourselves and then we can have this kind of meta thing.

Right, meta-textual. It takes place in New York, so why not? We've been to couples therapy, so let's do it. And it just got too real as they say. I don't say it, the other people say it. Yeah, I've heard that before. That wasn't you though. The phrase?

Yeah, because you've never said that. I've never said it, but I've heard it. Right, in fact, you didn't just say it right now, we had to splice together you saying those two words from different parts of the podcast. Yeah, it's like an AI thing. I don't know if you ever seen those keyboards. No, not familiar.

It's like a computer, how do I explain a computer? Electronic, oh gosh. Electricity? Yeah, so power. Okay. Oh gosh, how do I explain? Er. So power. Okay. Oh gosh. How do I, um, this is like a conversation with I, last week I was walking Marlowe to school and I, uh, she, it was the, the second Trump trial had taken place and,

uh, you know, the, the claim or the, the, sorry, the verdict to come in that he owed E.G. Carroll all this money. And for her and so many kids in her school, Trump is the shortcut to bad and mean. Like boogie man in a way. Well, he doesn't kill you, but he's just a bad. Because he did, literally did quite a few people. Yes, yes, but I mean, that's not how they, they just say as far as like a lying unethical,

you know, how not to act and what not to say. And for a lot of kids, and it's just kind of a shortcut thing. I don't know where, you know, clearly there's some stuff at home, but you know, school and, you know, families, whatever. And she asked me some question because she's always talking about Trump and and she wants to donate her allowance to him and

she's pro I didn't I didn't realize this well she's a shitty sense, yeah. And so, I'm walking along, and this will happen occasionally. I'll just be having, because I don't use baby talk, and I don't talk down to her, and I've always done this, and I'll just have an, but I try to be self-aware and conscious of the word.

You censor yourself a little bit. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yes, I am, but I don't, I don't like, I don't sugar coat too much stuff. And I mistakenly in the whole conversation, you know, why did he, why did that happen? What did it, and then it was a series, like what I was just kind of doing, a series of-

Going, taking a step backwards. And then her not knowing it. And then what, well, he assaulted her. What is assault? He, well, you know, it just went all the way down. It's interesting because- He was mean. Yeah. I mean, though, aren't you supposed to like,

lay those concepts out there for them pretty clearly? You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I try to without being graphic or specific. To give someone nightmares, in other words. I don't, you know. But no, I don't really sugar coat too much stuff. Yeah, no, it's, I mean, I'm just, my wife and I are just kind of like fumbling around

in the dark trying to figure out like our views on stuff and how to do so. That was why I was asking about screen time because like, I think both of us were sort of like, oh, screen time is bad. And then just on the, like we had COVID and our nanny had given us COVID. And so she was out and we had to take care of our kid

for 10 days, just ourselves while having COVID. We were like, turn on the TV. It's just like, there's a way you have to do it to sort of like, have something to turn on the TV. You know, it's just like, there's a way you have to do it to sort of like, you know, have something to do during the day. I'm not that weak or irresponsible, but I, uh, I mean. Mentally or physically. No.

Uh, you know, when we had to go to. Is this yours or is this mine? That's mine, but do you want one? Can we get. I mean, it's standard podcast shit. Like you're sitting here just like. It really is true. You're right.

Flouting that you have a glass of water and I don't. I don't know what this is all about. Wait, hold out your hand. Is this like a power move? There you go. Give it a little bit right there, not too much. Oh, it's enough. Oh, you spilled it. Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Do you want a glass of water? I mean, I wouldn't mind one. I've been holding in a cough for, uh, that I feel will be. You're waiting.

That's impressive talent. Yes. Uh, but we were, we were, uh, I'll tell you what, let's get a fresh glass of water. Scott can finish this and I'll take the fresh glass. I don't want your glass of water. Scott can finish this and I'll take the fresh glass of water. I don't want your glass of water. But we had a quarantine in Toronto when Amber

was up there working and we, when COVID, it had started dissipating in New York because everybody did what they were supposed to fucking do. Yeah, take hydroxychloride. Yep. And eat the sun, eat bits of the sun. And, and then when we got to Toronto, they really overreacted and it was really harsh. And so. Was it worse up there though, after, like,

after the United States? Like. Say what? Wasn't it worse up in Canada? Not the numbers. No, they, but they locked everything. I mean, it was way over the top. I blame Doug Ford for all of it.

Thank you very much. Oh, thank you. Here's to you, buddy. Hey, cheers. There we go. My daughter does love to cheers now. To an annoying degree where it's like. Yeah, I remember that phase.

Yeah, we do this once. Yeah. If that. And the whole reason we do it is to ensure that there's no poison in our shots. That's the way that's where. No, we're always like, anytime I cheers with my daughter, I switch my glass with her sippy cup.

Yeah. And just to really make sure. Yeah, there's no poison. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that's why we cheers. Did you know that's for real? Is it really? Yeah. And just to really make sure. Yeah, there's no poison. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that's why we cheers. Did you know that's for real? Is it really?

Yeah, it's an old tradition to spill a little of each course. Of yours into, oh really? Oh, interesting. To make sure that you're not poisoning your, you know. So that everyone, so if someone, what did poison you, then you get it into their cup and they're embarrassed and they raise their hand and they go, I gotta tell you something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I poisoned you. Yeah, or they do that thing in Breaking Bad, not to give too many. Oh no, I've only seen the first five minutes of the first episode. Oh shit. I love this, he's such a good teacher.

This is all about a really nice teacher, right? Yeah, yeah. What was I gonna say? Screen time? Yes. So- This is my role in the podcast I've found out, is like getting you back on track. Remind me, yeah. I am not one of those, and we know several parents who are absolutely no screen time. We know kids who haven't seen anything like that, like cartoons or whatever. There was one family, friends of ours

have two kids, one of them is close to Marlo's age, and they've kind of grown up together, you know, and I had gotten Marlo into puzzles, like big, you know, whatever, 18 piece, big jumbo. 18, wow. But you know, enough that they're making the picture and all that stuff. And it was, and so

she had outgrown it and I went to give it to Give me a 19 piece puzzle. Give it to the our friends for their son and it they wouldn't accept it I mean politely but

they wouldn't accept it because it was Disney characters. Interesting. There's actually Pixar characters. Which Pixar characters, if you don't mind me asking? Toy Story. So we're talking Woody, we're talking Buzz Lightyear, Mr. Potato Head, Little Bo Peep. Yep, yeah, not Little Bo Peep, but, uh, uh, Jesse. Jesse?

Yeah. Anyway, I think that's ridiculous. Because they didn't, they didn't want their child to be lured into a world where they're playing. Man, yeah, whatever the fuck. Uh, it's, that's ridiculous to me. And, and, and, you know, there are, we have strict, uh, I shouldn't say strict, but we have limits. Is it time limits? Like. Yeah, yeah, time stuff. And just two weeks ago, maybe not even, or whatever, last week she brought her midterm report card and it's all, she's a good student

and it's all gotten better and better and better, increasingly better. And she's like, you know, can I have, can I play with my iPad, which has learning games. So she has reading eggs and, uh, ABC mouse and all that. And, um, and I'm like, you keep bringing back report cards like this?

I'm serious. And yes, you can play with your iPad for 25 minutes and you can play, you know, and. So now she has to bring back one every day? Every single day. So we have a little thing worked out with a teacher. I give her a US savings bond to bring to her teacher. And. Those are, I mean, if you hold onto those. Well, that's the thing. Like a hundred dollar one will be. I have Marlowe when she's not looking take it back. So it's always the same.

Oh, okay. So she knows sleight of hand at this point. Yeah. I'm getting her in a County Cards too, which is smart, I think. County Crows, you mean? Yeah, I really, I love, what did I say? County Cards. Oh no, that's the cover band of County Crows,

who also do close-up magic. Yeah, and they're all dressed like the face cards, like the Jacks, you know, and the suicide king. But with dreads. Yeah. And, uh, um. Paced on dreads like this. Yeah.

Can I, did I ever tell you my, this is not a much of a story as much as an anecdote, but, um, I've heard, I know friends who've, uh, are in bands or friends who are in a band that opened up for the Counting Crows quite often, and just say he's the nicest guy. Adam Duritz is the nicest, sweetest, most generous guy. And here in LA, this is obviously a while ago, they invited me, oh, we're going to a party at Adam Duritz. And he's got this big, those huge houses in Mount Olympus where they film rap videos and they're all kind of like prefab,

they're garbage houses, but they're big and garish and everything. And big staircases, grand circular, whatever. And so I go with my friends to the house and it's huge, huge. And when you come into the foyer, there is a large photo. I can't remember if it's black or white or not, but it's a large photo of him. It's just black. No white. Of him, it's shot at a slight angle, like a little Dutch angle. A Dutch angle, yeah. A lot of Kenneth Branagh's Thor movie. Yeah, sure.

Sure. Or let's go back a couple days earlier in the Batman TV show. Sure, yeah. Incorporated Dutch angles. Of course. You know, which is what we get that from Rembrandt. Batman TV show. Sure. Yeah. Which incorporated Dutch Angles. Of course. Which is what we get that from Rembrandt. And so it's like, it's a square, a large frame, but it's- I've seen paintings.

Okay. This is a photograph. And he's standing directly in front of the, on like a path in a garden where the Eiffel Tower is behind him. And he's got his sleeves down like this. So his hands are kind of sticking out like this. And he's going, I'm trying to describe this for people at home, like almost like a sad puppy dog look. And he's going like this. And I, it, I just, it made me uncomfortable.

It made me uncomfortable because I just think having that, that photo greet everybody was a tough one. Like that's a photo that I think like an eight by 10 is even too big. I think it shouldn't exist. You think the entire, you think, are you talking the Eiffel Tower? No, I think photography itself should not exist.

Photography itself. Yeah, cause it's lies, it's all lies. Steals your soul, I know that. Well, forget steal your soul, that's a bunch of Native American bullshit, cause they were ignorant about the, cause they're, you know, I'm talking about Can you imagine if they were still in charge of this country?

There'd be no photographs. There'd be no photographs. There'd be no photographs. I mean, the very reason that- There'd be no Game Boy. F that. You were very nice and gave me a GameCube once. Do you remember this? I don't.

I think we were at South by Southwest, viewing our delicious comedy, Run, Runny, Run. And we were all invited to a party. You were invited to a party. viewing our delicious comedy, Run, Runny, Run. And we were all invited to a party, you were invited to a party, and you brought us along with you. Where they- David Cross and pals?

Where they gave you and Bob both GameCubes, I think, and you were very nice to give it to me. Oh, well, you're welcome. Did you get some play session? I did, I played the shit out of it. And now I have a baby, I get a video, my wife wants to know what I want for Christmas and I ask for a video game, haven't even cracked it open.

What'd you get? Mario something, I don't know. What's his name, Mario Lanza? Mario Lanza video game. Okay. They're only Italian Marios, right? Mario Puzo, Mario Lanza, Mario Andretti. Andretti, no. Mario, not Italian, question mark, last name, and then in parentheses surname.

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. We'll figure this out. There's gotta be, I mean, Mario... So listen, you can do... Yeah. I'm going back, because this is important.

I think you can do your screen time, but you gotta wait, definitely wait. I'm serious about this. For them to get older. Well, we're doing like educational. Look, there's a ton of great shit. I feel like I- How old is your kid? She's 16 months.

Oh God, you've got, just don't give her the tech, the iPad stuff. But there's tons of educational stuff that's great. And as she gets older, Octonauts on Netflix is great. Okay. I mean, there's some really good stuff for kids out there, teaching good lessons. I feel like I learned how to read so early

because of Sesame Street, so. Yeah, I learned how to tell time cause of Sesame Street. Really? Yeah. What time is it right now? Let's see. Oh, great job Sesame Street. It is, it's 105.2.

Okay, great. 105.2. I mean, I'm going by this thing. And it's 87%. Great. Yeah, this is all you need to know let me let me look here 105-105-2 that's about as phony your timing is impeccable I that has come in handy so So that's my alert. Yeah. Oh, I didn't trigger it.

It just, yeah, for real. I didn't trigger it. For real someone. Oh wow. That's my alert tone. And sometimes I've had like three or four occasions where the timing is just perfect. Uh, we, you know, an argument with my wife

or, uh, what was the one with, uh. Like doing a, like a pitch to a studio that fails. I really, obviously you're like, Oh, this sucks. And then the person goes, look, I think that says it all. There's the door. You got a spot phone. Now. Yeah.

You get pulled over by the cops. All right. Have you been drinking tonight? No, sir. I had two beers earlier, like at least three hours ago. Okay, well maybe three beers two hours ago. Okay, I had six beers a minute ago. Yeah, I showed Sesame Street to her for the first time because Cool Up was away for the weekend

and I tried to tire her out by going to my gym and all this kind of stuff and then at a certain point it was just like, okay, we need to do something. Wait, you took her to the gym, to your gym? Yeah, my gym, yeah. Oh my gosh, to like the vertical? Yeah. What did she do, cardio or what was leg day?

She was on the Peloton for maybe like 45 minutes at, you know, between 30 and 40. How does she relate, does she understand the instructors? Let's get hot in here, let's go! She loves the music, you know, when it's like- Japanese techno. Yeah, exactly. But, so I turned on Sesame Street,

it was the first time she'd ever seen Sesame Street and we watched it for, you know, like their half hour episodes. We've probably watched four and then the next week she didn't see it. Again, the next week we went to another birthday party where the, uh, parents had. Hired someone to be Elmo and she treated him like it was the Beatles. She was like, we have pictures of her like going, ah, she started hugging him so hard that I had to break her away.

I was like, let other kids talk to Elmo. It was just like four episodes did it. Yeah, my daughter's like that with Taylor Swift. Really? Yeah, just like thinks she's great, loves her.ves her, you know, have, have you have a, let's, let's make time for other kids. Have you had to take her to a concert or anything like that?

Nope. Are concerts too, I mean, it's too. Too early to take her. It's too early, right? I mean, she's been to Disney on ice and, and those kinds of things. And, um, and we, we're, we also live, uh, right down the street from the Barclays Center.

Oh, what's your address? 1342 DeLong Pre Avenue, apartment number 6B. That's where you used to live, right? Close, yeah. I did live on DeLong Pre here in LA. So you were- That's where the character DeLong Pre Danon came from. I was like, that's a good character name. I don't remember, who was that? It was a Link.

It was the, oh God, what was it? DeLongpre Danon show. Was that the one with the psychic? The- Oh, this guy. It might've been. It was- Yes. It was a Link and DeLongpre Danon was Jill Talley's. Yes, yes, yes. It was a character, DeLong Prey Danon was Jill Talley's,

it was a character, something like talk show. Right. And that was you with a fake arm too, so you could do this with your hand? Yes. Right, right. I've been hearing a lot from people who have said like, to me recently, like, oh, I had never seen Mr. Show,

but it's on Macs or whatever now. Is it? I think so, isn't it? I have no idea. I think it is. We still haven't gotten a fucking penny from that. Didn't you work out a terrible deal, weren't you telling me this?

No, no, not on- I thought Bernie worked out a horrible deal that was like incentivize people not to ever air it again. Honestly. No, what are you talking about? Where it was like incentivize people not to ever air it again. Honestly. No, what are you talking about? Where it was like. Bob, you must have, this must be a conversation with Bob. Maybe it's through Bob.

But it was like, if it's repeated, you have to pay us like one and a half times what we were paid. The first. I will tell you, I haven't checked in, I wanna say six or seven years, but every once in a while, as you know, every, let's say five, six years as the- Technology. Yeah, and they're streaming and there's different, and now there's a SAG WGA contracts that are, you know, retroactive and things. But we would go back because we would see that it was sold to,

it was sold to TBS for a while. It was on TBS. Yeah, and it was sold to somebody else. And we'd go back and Bob and I would both go to our, you know, accountant, business manager and managers and going, guys, what the fuck? How are we not getting any residuals for this? We barely got paid in the first place.

What's going on? And they would all say, you know, it's, it's just, it's what they call creative accounting. And you, you can try to, uh, it's not, it's, I can't remember the, you wouldn't bring a suit, but you would do a kind of a forensic accounting. And you're not talking about residuals, you're talking about points, I think.

Whatever it is, I don't, I truly don't know. Because I went through this on my show where I had them give me the accounting for it. Yeah. Where by the end of the conversation, I was like, okay, let's get a lawsuit going. Because the accounting on these things, because you have points on the back end, right?

I don't know if we got points. I don't know if it was back in the, I guess there were more points than residuals. Yeah, yeah, because residuals is all regulated. And it's not cable. You don't have residuals for cable, right? Yes, and so whatever your contract is, if it's sold, you'll get the residuals.

They're regulated by SAG, but the points are the things where like, if you have five points on the back end of the show, then they explain the back end to you and go like, oh yeah, it still is $2 million in the hole. That's what I'm saying. Like they would say, you can do it, and there's no guarantee you'll win,

not that it's a win-loss, but those- But I know for a fact that they made a profit on my show. Yeah. Because. But they're like, it'll cost you $180,000 and you may get a hundred thousand at the end of the day. And there's just no way around it. It's just, and it's so frustrating.

And as I said, every. So then I'm sort of like, why do you waste so much time before when you're making the deal with your lawyer like hammering out the points and all this kind of stuff. It's also getting paid. Yeah, but you know, like I'm just like, we're never gonna see these points anyway. Although I guess you do with like wild success stories

and stuff like that, but. Right. But yeah, anyway, we don't have enough money. That's what we're trying to say on this show. No, it's not. This is a telethon, isn't it? Yeah, we're raising money for GoFundMe. Just for GoFundMe. Yeah, for the website. They've been going through some hard times.

I know. It's terrible. GoFundMe, the website has cancer. Irony of ironies. Because they're always raising money for cancer. They got it just from being around it. Well, that's what you get for raising money for cancer. More money for cancer, more cancer.

Yeah. It kind of goes without saying. It's crazy. But this is all Silicon Valley shit that is above my pay grade. The fucking government. Yeah. Peter Thiel.

It's a Psyop. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. All right, Scott, we're gonna. Yeah. Oh, breaking news. Oh, this was the alert that came in. Oh, what's, what's up? Seven minutes ago. Hey, just for those at home. Seven minutes ago is when that funny noise came on my phone. King Charles the third has been diagnosed with cancer and has been,

will postpone public duties, the palace said. Now that's got effect, literally, fours of people. It literally does effect me. How does it? When's this come out? Oh, this podcast? I don't know, what do you think? We don't know. Yeah, so probably after, so my 850th episode of my show,

we literally talk about him. It like ties into the- Of him being king, the queen? It ties into the storyline of that episode. So now I'm like trying to, cause it comes out in a week from today, I'm trying to edit it in my mind going like, okay, let's see, how do we make this?

Anyway. Topical? Well, it's, I mean, we just it in my mind going like, okay, let's see, how do we make this? Anyway. Topical? Well, it's, I mean, we just taped it a few days ago, but he was just in the hospital. So now that- Oh, I didn't even know he was in the hospital. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. I should, I'm a monarchist, so I should be- Oh yeah, you should be up.

Yeah. Yeah. You want a monarchy here in the States. I would love one, just in California. Well, I remember when we were doing Mr. show and this is when you were. Oh me too. Yeah, it was fun, but I remember you were, I mean, you've always been like really pro police.

And I remember a lot of it was because you, uh, you thought you had been, you'd had your pocket picked and you were like, you were so sure of it. And you were like calling up the police going like, I pay your salary. Yeah. And, um. Fuck it was a whole pack of gum.

I hadn't even opened it yet. Yeah. And it was, and it was. Tee berry. And then you found it. Yeah. You know, after you had railed at the police and you would, you know, um, you, you, you

called up your local city council person going like, why can't we have more police out there on the streets? Yeah. You know. And they did, and they started the paperwork to get that rolling. And then I had to call back, go, hang on, divert some of that funds to education.

Yeah. No, I mean, those were fun times. Have you changed your opinion on that at all or? No, I'm still wildly pro police. Um, and, uh. Cause you say, um, ACAB all cops aren't bastards. Yeah, it gets, it gets, uh, it's confusing. I should have picked a, uh, a different acronym. I should, it should be like all cops shan't be

bastards or something like that. But, um, uh, uh, I actually do actually do a bit currently that I'm working on about. Really? Yeah, about the police in New York City specifically. Strokes sang that song about him. Yeah, they took it off the album. Did you know that? So they were about to release, is this it?

I have the UK version that has it on. I bought it before it came out in the States and it has that song on it. Yeah, because they took it off, the label didn't take it off because of 9-1-1. Yeah, 9-1-1, yep. All right, so we're winding it up and I close every episode.

I asked my guest a question from Marlo. This is a question from Marlo to you.'s a question from Marlowe to you. So you've gotten her involved in the family business. That's great. Yeah, why not? Yeah, why not? You know, I don't make any money from this thing. Yeah, you don't make money on this?

On these, not yet. I'd love to represent you. Okay, well, I don't have a fucking empire like your wolf. Empire. Empire. Scott, you are one of the leading shining lights in the podcast. Thank you. You lost interest three words into that sentence.

I know. No, but you've done a very, you're successful at- I did my time in the trenches. Yeah, yeah. And you deserve everything you've done. And I did my time in the trenches. Yeah. Yeah. And you deserve everything. I'm reaping the rewards. Yeah.

Except for, I don't think, I don't think the, that like pool, I don't think you deserve your pool, but you have a lovely house. You, in fact, someone I thought it was a prank, but now I'm realizing it was you just filled it in with cement the other day. Uh, well, there's a tiny little hole. You got to look for it where I've been sitting. Yeah. Okay, Scott Ackerman, here's a question.

Yes. From Marla. Would you rather fly or never get hurt again? Okay, can I ask questions to sort of narrow this down? I mean, she's not here to answer them, So I would just say, I would just use that. You can qualify your answer. So, the never get hurt again, would I then never die? I mean, again, I can't answer these questions. You can contextualize your answer by saying if... Right. It's, it's your answer. You're talking to a six year old about to be seven,

you know, and she'll be seven by the time this comes out. Will you deliver my answer on her birthday? Well, she'll eventually listen to the podcast. Will she really? Yeah, when she's on the Peloton. Hmm, good. Um, I think flying would be a little anticlimactic

after a little while. It would be like, you know, those presents you get when you're a kid where you really, really want it. I remember I really wanted like a Spider-Man action figure that could like repel down a thing. And I like really wanted it, asked my parents about it. And then I was bored with it. Yeah. You know, after my parents about it. And then I was bored with it, you know, after an

hour and it's, and then you feel shitty about it. The rest of the day and the rest of the year where you're like, I wanted this so bad. Now how do I tell my parents that it sucks? Lesson learned, hopefully. I did learn my lesson. Um, so I feel like it would be like that with flying where it would be like kind of fun for,

it would be like having a segue, owning a segue and you'd be like, oh, this is fucking cool. And then you'd be like, I would think it'd be a little different than having a segue. I think it's sort of like having a pool. You mentioned my pool where you're like, oh, I really want to buy a house with a pool. And then when you really log your pool time at the end of the year, it's like, man, I was in there for maybe three hours. The total. Well, that's on you. Everything is on everyone. What?

You're so judgmental about my pool time. That's on you, that's on you. Yeah, I know I need to get in my pool more, David. Well, I guess what I'm... I'm sorry. Are you disappointed? Is that what you want? Are you disappointed in yourself?

Yes, always. There's so many things I need to do. I need to get in my pool for three hours a day in order to really make it worth it. Well, I mean, that's again, it's what you'd have to put a price on your time in the pool. And then if you, it averages out per year, and then each year, and then each year,

and then each decade. I mean, realistically, like getting a house with a pool, it adds a hundred thousand to the price probably. How much does it cost, a pool, and maintenance and all that? Oh yeah, I mean, that's another thing. I mean, I don't look at bills or any, or like numbers anymore, but you mentioned my empire.

No, but I mean, it is something that you go like, okay, well, if we get a house with a pool, it's going to be this much more expensive, so you really want to maximize that. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I feel like flying would be sort of like having a pool where like Coolop would come over to me and be like, oh, did you fly today? It's like, oh no, I mean, I'm busy.

Yeah, I'll fly tomorrow. You know, and then you, then at the end of the summer, you're like, man, I never really maximized the summer weather to go out flying this year. And you could have never been hurt again. Yeah, and so that's the thing is I feel like if you're never hurt, I'm assuming physically and emotionally, um, then

you can rule out dying accidentally. I still feel like you would probably be able to die in your sleep, like a peaceful death or something like that. So you're basically guaranteeing that you're going to live a good long amount of time, never be run into on the bus, never have a car accident that crumples your legs or anything like that.

Yeah, that's an easy choice to me. How many times have you been run into on the bus? On the bus, normally three times per ride. A car will crash into our bus. Whoa. Yeah. And they still allow you to get on the bus. Oh, they haven't put it two and two together that it's me. Oh my gosh.

Yeah. Do you think there's somebody right now at this moment with photos up on a wall going, do not let this- And then the yarn. The yarn. The yarn. Yeah. The, um- Mind map. I think so. I mean,- And then the yarn. The yarn. The yarn. Yeah. The-

Mind map. I think so. I mean, I like to think that, but I feel like then I'm not that important in the grand scheme of things. You know, you always think about- Well, I mean, if you're causing all this- Sure, mayhem. Misery and injuries and deaths, maybe. Yeah.

And you know- No, part of my problem is every morning I spray on car attractant. And so cars are just like naturally attracted and wanna run into me all day. Oh, like the self-driving cars. Once they go on autopilot, boom, they smell that. Yeah, then they just veer right over to me, yeah. That's a big problem. Yeah, they haven't accounted.

They haven't accounted for that. That's a big problem of why Tesla is like recalling all their cars. Yeah. Yeah. Because they hadn't accounted for that. The big problem why Tesla is like recalling all their cars. Yeah. Yeah. Because they hadn't accounted for people using car. Attractant. Attractant, yeah. Yeah, usually people put on car repellent and that's what I thought I was buying.

Well, why doesn't the bus put a car repellent on the outside of the bus? To just neutralize it? Yeah, well, I think even more, I mean, if you're inside the bus, that's less power than being on the outside of the bus for the repelent. To have a repelent, yeah. And then the air taking it every which a way.

No, I mean, that would be smart, but they have, I mean, here's my problem. I bought what I thought was car repellent. It turned out to be attractive. I bought it in bulk. I have too much of the stuff. I gotta just put it on. Right, what about selling it?

To the Axe body spray. You sound like my wife right now. Really? Why don't you do this with Axe body spray? Why don't you do that with Axe body spray? Every morning it's the Axe body spray conversation. I don't, well, Cool Up calls me about an hour before you get up and we go over the talking points for the morning.

Yeah, that's good. And, uh. She's very prepared. She has a PowerPoint. Yeah. Are you the one putting those together? I mean, it's a collaboration. Oh. Yeah.

I want to want to take full credit. Um, all right. Well, I have to pee. So Scott, thank you so much for. So you just, this podcast is you just talking until you have to pee? Coming down today. And, uh, I know you. What happens is until you have to pee? Coming down to nay. And, uh, I know you.

What happens is like you have to pee three minutes in. Uh, I hold it. So, but you will no longer hold it? I'm not. Yeah. I mean, the time has come for me to stop holding it and stop holding it a little bit

longer. Let's continue chatting. I'd rather not. This is not your podcast, this is my podcast. The name right here is... I'm not good at reading. What is this? I know that's my name because I recognize the symbols and the squiggly. No, you're reading. Oh, is that reading? That's what recognizing the symbols and the squigglies is, is you going like... How about pronunciation? Am I pronouncing, pronouncing?

Yeah, you're getting there. Am I pronouncing it right? Yeah, something like that. My pronunciation. Say those two squig, those two collections of squiggles, say those together. David Cross. Yeah, that's you.

Oh, that's my name. That's your reading. Yeah, good job. When Marla was like three, she couldn't say the word oatmeal. She'd say oatmeal. And then, and so she'd always say oatmeal. And then my sister, uh, was up and she said, okay, say oat, oat, say meal, meal, say oatmeal,

oatmeal. Emmy says CC instead of cookie, which is a weird one. We're, and we're always saying cookie cookie. And she goes, CC. Yeah. See, I mean, she's a year and a half. She's got. She's not even.

Yeah. So, oh, not even. Yeah. So she's got all the excuses in the world. Scott, thank you. Come from, thank you. Come from, thank you. Dum dum to you come from. Thank you come from. Thank you dumb dumb to you as well.

And next time I come back to the greater Los Angeles area, I will stop into your show. Yeah, we love to have you on. You got amazing. Oh man, that girl, the blonde girl is just amazing. She did the kid who was lost. Lisa Gilroy, yeah. Lisa Gilroy, man, what a talent. Dinky Donnelly, yeah. Oh, God, she's so good. And then after we did that podcast,

I was looking at her Instagram things, and it's really funny. Very funny, yeah. Very funny. Oh, she was in the juror. Jury duty, yeah. She's great, jury duty. She had a really funny part in jury duty. She's in every commercial as well. That I haven't seen.

Yeah, you don't watch the commercials. I don't really watch like network TV very much. Yeah. I get it. If ever, really. Yeah, you're a real. I'm a real streaming snob. If it's streaming, you're beaming. And if it's a networking, I'm blet working.

True. Yeah. It's less successful. I've been doing that since before. Yeah, of course. That was my thing. I have it on a t-shirt. Oh, you peed your pants.

Sense is Working Over Time is a headgum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchin for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum, visit Headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not going to do that.

Thanks for listening.