SERIALously - 248: Why Did Netflix LEAVE THIS OUT About Gabby Petito & Brian Laundrie?! | American Murder: Gabby Petito

Episode Date: March 5, 2025

Follow the podcast for FREE on all podcast platforms!  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6HdheEH8WeMTHoe5da34qU Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/serialously-with-annie-elise/id151945...6164 . Shop the Merch!: https://www.annieelise.com Join the 10 to LIFE Community for Exclusive Content & Perks: https://www.patreon.com/annieelise . Become a Channel Member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOK0fZAUx82plnLhTKZW6qg/join . For Business Inquiries: 10toLife@WMEAgency.com . Follow me on Social: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_annieelise Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/10toLIFE Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@_annieelise  . *Sources used to collect this information include various public news sites, interviews, court documents, FB groups dedicated to the case, and various news channel segments. When quoting statements made by others, they are strictly alleged until confirmed otherwise. Please remember my videos are my independent opinion and to always do your own research. 

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Gabby and Brian seemed like a loving couple, but behind the scenes, they would get into arguments. It was like every parent's nightmare, just like in a flash of a second. She's gone, she's missing. The happiest people on social media usually have the darkest skeletons in their closet. I'm Brian.
Starting point is 00:00:24 And I'm Gabby. And this is our Ford Transit Connect that we've been living in. And we thought it was finally time to give you a tour. What were they doing? We drove by and the gentleman was slapping the girl. He was slapping her? Yes, and then we stopped.
Starting point is 00:00:40 They ran up and down the sidewalk. He proceeded to hit her, hopped in the car, and they the sidewalk. He proceeded to hit her, hopped in the car, and they drove off. Hey, true crime besties. Welcome back to an all new episode of Serialistly with me, Annie Elise. Now as you can see, this isn't releasing on our regular podcast release schedule. We are releasing this as a bonus episode because after I watched the Gabby Petito documentary
Starting point is 00:01:30 on Netflix, I found myself kind of just like seething with rage, not only at the dirty laundries and what a vile, disgusting human trash they are, but because Netflix didn't include a really big key detail that I think is so important to this entire case and really sets up and illustrates the timeline of events and what the catalyst was in all of this. So I knew I needed to get my mic ready, I needed to turn it on, I needed to jump on here, talk with my true crime besties, and
Starting point is 00:01:58 break it down for you because you guys like to know all of the details. The deep dives, the you know bits and pieces and I just can't believe that Netflix didn't include this and they also did a recent 2020 and it wasn't included on that either. So much so that I was talking to my sister Amy about it and I was like I'm gonna make an episode on this because they didn't include XYZ and I told her she's like what do you mean why wouldn't they have included that? That is insane to me. I was like I know. So here I am. Gabby's case, Gabby Petito's case shook the world
Starting point is 00:02:28 when she first went missing back in 2021. And then it had everybody in even more uproar when it was revealed that her fiance, Brian Laundrie, was the one responsible for her murder. But now, as I said, Netflix's American murder, Gabby Petito, it came out and it does give you a much deeper look into what was really going on behind the scenes beyond this
Starting point is 00:02:50 Instagram-worthy road trip of photos of van life and all these things because we're seeing uncut footage, we're seeing new pictures, we're having hearing new testimony, and it really is a good documentary and gives you a better understanding and a full understanding of the case. As I mentioned, it dives into a never seen footage, text messages, interviews, and it really also, to me, and I'm sure many of you who watched it, it reveals something that is absolutely heartbreaking that we didn't even know before. And that was that Gabby was trying to leave Brian.
Starting point is 00:03:23 She knew that things weren't right and she was scared about how he might react and she was looking Gabby was trying to leave Brian. She knew that things weren't right, and she was scared about how he might react, and she was looking for a way out. But something that they didn't talk about was how Brian went home to Florida after that Moab incident. After the Utah incident, the infamous body cam footage, he not only went to the hotel or the shelter place
Starting point is 00:03:43 and stayed, but then he went back to Florida. And when he went back to Florida, that is when Gabby started pulling away. And as I go through this, I'm going to kind of build out my timeline because to me it seems very crystal clear what happened and why this happened and what was the catalyst, but they didn't really go into details about that, and I think that that is very crucial in this. Now what this docu-series also showed us, like so many issues when there is domestic disputes and dangerous situations, the most dangerous time for a victim is when they are trying to leave, and in Gabby's case that fear of course, tragically justified. So we're gonna go through all of the new things that we learned through this docu-series, and some of the stuff that I had learned years ago when we were researching this case that they didn't really touch on,
Starting point is 00:04:33 that again, make the puzzle not only fit, but it makes me more angry. It really does, because I think that there could have been opportunity to intervene multiple times, so we'll talk about that. So let's start with more of like the emotional abuse and the control that we didn't really see coming. Before this docu-series, a lot of people only saw the happy road trip version of Gabby and Brian. The Instagram posts, the YouTube vlogs, and everything really did look picture perfect. Piggyback rides, beautiful sceneries, them cooking together, them doing little things.
Starting point is 00:05:08 I mean, we all know what you see on social media isn't the true picture, right? But American Murder Gabby Petito kind of flips the script. It showed us what was really happening behind the camera with all of the unedited footage. And through text messages, interviews, and that footage from Gabby's computer, a very different Brian Laundrie starts to come into focus. One who was very controlling, a very emotionally manipulative, and somebody who was constantly gaslighting Gabby. And here's what the documentary reveals about their dynamic. Brian constantly belittled Gabby. He'd make her feel like she was overreacting or that she was being crazy whenever she expressed concerns, just constantly gaslighting her.
Starting point is 00:05:51 He also isolated her. She had fewer and fewer people to talk to because Brian was controlling their environment, their finances, how they would spend their time on the road, what destinations they would go to, everything. Even when she was preparing for this road trip working at Taco Bell, he started to lose control over her and over him trying to isolate her, and so he started to make that a problem. Like why are you hanging out with all these deadbeats at Taco Bell, late night hours, this or that, trying to shame her for what she was trying to do, which was earn money to bankroll his loser ass on this van life trip, but he still didn't like that she wasn't in his grasp, wasn't under his control. He also controlled their social media. Gabby loved creating the content, but Brian always had a say in how they as a couple and their situation was going to be portrayed. He wanted to keep up
Starting point is 00:06:43 appearances. He wanted to look like the good guy, the supportive guy, but we see that he really wasn't that. And he also had a history of getting physical. Now we saw the body cam footage from Moab, Utah and it's infamous footage. I will play a couple clips here for you, but we saw that footage where we were called after somebody actually saw Brian hitting Gabby in the street. White land, gentleman with a 5'6 beard. They just drove off. They're going down Main Street. They made a right onto Main Street for a moonflower. What were they doing? What were they doing?
Starting point is 00:07:36 We drove by and the gentleman was slapping the girl. He was slapping her? Yes. And then we stopped. They ran up and down the sidewalk. He proceeded to hit her, hopped in the car, and they drove off. Okay, you said it's a white van? But in the docuseries, we see even more evidence about how this wasn't just a one-time thing.
Starting point is 00:07:56 And this kind of manipulation is classic in abusive relationships, okay? The abuser makes the victim question themselves. They isolate them from any support systems they have and then they slowly just break them down until they feel like they can't leave, until they feel like they have nobody else and that it's their fault and then they're only going to be accepted by this person. Now I want to touch on Moab really quickly. The infamous Moab police bodycam incident occurred on August 12th, 2021. This was the day that they had received that phone call of somebody witnessing Brian slapping Gabby in the street and then the police officers spotted their van, pulled them over because they like went
Starting point is 00:08:38 onto a median or hit a curb and it looked as though you know he was driving erratically. Now in this body cam footage, Gabby is distraught, just visibly distressed. She's crying, she's apologizing repeatedly, all while Brian appears calm, collected. He's even joking with the officers, calling her crazy to them. And this is all despite a witness report saying that Brian had been hitting Gabby. What's going on? Why can't you cry? I'm sorry, we've just been fighting this morning. Some personal issues. I'm sorry that I'm so mean because sometimes I have OCD and sometimes I can get really frustrated. And the flies here are pretty intense, so the flies have definitely been getting to her.
Starting point is 00:09:20 And then my feet are dirty and everything, so I think our little squabbles started because we were hanging out at the coffee shop and when we got back to the van, there was some dirt and stuff in the van. We'd been fighting all morning and he wouldn't let me in the car before. Why wouldn't he let you in the car? Because of your OCD?
Starting point is 00:09:36 He told me I needed to calm down. We weren't physical before the point where I said, all right, let's just take a breather and like walk away for a minute. I'll lock the van up and I'll go for a walk this way, and you can go walk that way on the block. You don't trigger anything. She started hitting him.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Yeah, I was yelling at him. And then when he turned her lights out, I kind of punched his arm through the tissue that she was hitting. The witness says, I never saw him hit her. I saw him shove her, but I couldn't tell you if it was an aggression against her or a defense against her. Unless the guy's screaming that he needs to go Jail and did something to this girl. It sounds like she
Starting point is 00:10:09 the primary aggressive Is it bruised or tender or anything like that? No, no, no. I'm fine. I love Gabby. I hope she doesn't have too many complaints about me. So she's apologizing. She's saying how she suffers from anxiety, stress, how sometimes she gets mad at him, and it's really, really upsetting to watch because the officers ultimately categorized Gabby as the aggressor in all of this. And I get that she was the one saying that she was the aggressor, so I understand loosely, I'll say that loosely, how they could come to that conclusion. But what they chose to do in that moment was separate the couple for the night. Take no further action, just separate them. Gabby can sleep in the van. Brian's gonna go to this hotel slash shelter situation
Starting point is 00:11:06 But this incident has been heavily scrutinized because this was a missed opportunity for intervention if they labeled her as the aggressor and the problem in this at the very least they should have arrested her and they they should have taken her into custody Which I wish that they would have done because had they done that she would have called her mom and it would have given her mom the opportunity to come and get her to intervene to get to the bottom of the situation at that point too I would imagine her mom would have learned about that 911 call which when the when they had first notified them or when she first saw the body cam footage, they hadn't even known that somebody had called 911 reporting that Brian was slapping her.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Now what's frustrating, and that's why I say this was all loosely how they named her as the aggressor, or not loosely that they named her as that, but like had they arrested her, that's the most they could have done because in this docuseries now, photos of the marks on her face come out and you can tell this is a photo she took herself, a selfie. She's wearing the exact same outfit that she was wearing in that body cam footage. This was taken on the same day. Clearly it wasn't taken after they were separated, it was taken before. So my question is, did the police not see these marks? Did they not see how bad they were? I know they saw a little one, but in this photo, she's marked up.
Starting point is 00:12:28 So were these markings from earlier on in the day? Was this then from just the slapping incident? We don't have a timestamp of when this photo was, but obviously before they were separated. But how could they not see that? First of all, let me backtrack, and I know I'm spinning here a little bit how could they not see that and determine that she was not the primary aggressor but even if let's say the marks had faded by the time they were pulled over it shows what the dynamic truly was and it just makes me so mad because again even though she was
Starting point is 00:13:01 admitting to being the primary aggressor, which she wasn't by the way, like she was just a scared young girl who had been gaslit so much that she thought that she was the problem in all of this, which she wasn't. But anyway, I get it. She was taking responsibility and so they said, okay, you know, we're gonna put him in the shelter. They should have arrested her. They should have done something more to intervene if they truly thought that Brian was the victim here. Now, I want to talk about what happened after this Moab incident and something that they didn't really touch on much in the docuseries. Because shortly after this body cam footage and after they were separated, five days after to be exact, Brian flew back to Florida. And this is all according to the family attorney, Steven Bertolino. Brian flew from Salt Lake City to Tampa, Florida
Starting point is 00:13:49 on August 17th, 2021. The reason he flew back was to obtain some items and close out a storage unit because he wanted to not waste money on the storage unit. He wanted to save money because he and Gabby were contemplating extending their road trip together. So he flew back five days after the Moab incident. Now during this time Gabby remained in Utah.
Starting point is 00:14:09 She stayed at a hotel, the Fairfield Inn and Suites, and this is near Salt Lake City Airport. It was later confirmed by hotel staff as well that she stayed there. Now while she was there without Brian for those days, she continued communication with her friends and her family. without Brian for those days, she continued communication with her friends and her family. Also confiding in them because it seems like now that she had a little bit of distance from Brian, she was starting to see the light. She was starting to realize that something here just was not right. Additionally, on August 19th, while he's still in Florida, she posted a video on their YouTube channel Nomadic Static. This video really documented their travels, but again, only from the rose-colored lens of everything. Just their perfect trip together.
Starting point is 00:14:53 And her posting this really did suggest, to me at least, that she was continuing to focus on their social media presence. She really wanted to focus on content creation while he was away and like dive into that because as we know and as we learned from This documentary she was the only one who had any capability of editing. He was he couldn't help in anything He couldn't help fund it. He couldn't help edit. He couldn't help give good vibes He couldn't help be nice like he was just a freaking loser through and through So she's now on her own here in Utah for a few days editing So she's now on her own here in Utah for a few days. Editing, pouring herself into the content creation, talking with friends and family, and starting to realize like, this is kind of nice with him being away. I'm starting to like, realize this isn't how I should be treated.
Starting point is 00:15:36 And one of the most chilling details in this documentary is an interview that was done with Gabby's ex-boyfriend Jackson. Because he says that just days before she was murdered Gabby told him that she wanted to leave Brian but that she didn't know how he was going to react that she was scared so this again showed that now that there was a little distance she was thinking about things differently a little more clearly you could argue and this interaction that she had with her ex Jackson was on August 22nd, just one day before Brian returned. And it makes me really sad and it makes me really mad because had he she had just a couple more days before he came back. maybe she would have gathered a little bit more strength. Maybe she would have been able to have more open conversations and vulnerable conversations with Jackson, with her friends, with Rose, with her parents, to where someone would have known what was really happening.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Because at this point, nobody really knew how bad things were. But like I said, during this period, she was still talking to people. She was reaching out to people and, in my my opinion probably trying to process what was happening in her relationship, trying to figure it out. But it's clear now that being away from Brian, even for that short period of time, it gave her some clarity. She wanted out. But then he came back and when he did come back that changed everything because he returned to Salt Lake City on August 23rd and he rejoined Gabby in this van life trip. So Gabby checked out of that hotel the very
Starting point is 00:17:10 next day on August 24th right when Brian returned and then they continued their cross-country journey together. And the documentary makes it painfully obvious that Gabby felt trapped. That's my takeaway from this. And this is something that domestic experts talk about all the time. When somebody is in a toxic relationship and when they start thinking about leaving, statistically that is when it becomes the most dangerous. That is when the abuser feels like they're losing control. And that is when they begin to lash out even more so. So like I said, if she had just had a couple more days on her own before he came back,
Starting point is 00:17:49 maybe things would be different. Now let's talk about that unedited footage from Gabby's computer, because it definitely tells a very different story. One of the most heartbreaking pieces of this documentary is that raw unedited footage from Gabby's computer, because while her social media painted a very happy, bright, sunshine, happy picture, these private videos show a totally different reality. Gabby was deeply anxious. She was constantly apologizing. There's footage of her crying, trying to talk through what's happening, and blaming herself for the fights that she's having with Brian.
Starting point is 00:18:25 Now, Brian's controlling behavior was way more obvious because there's these clips where he didn't even realize that the camera was still rolling, and he snaps at her, he dismisses her feelings, and he just makes her feel small. She also was starting to recognize how toxic the relationship was, and in one journal entry that was shared she wrote, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. One moment everything is okay and the next he's so angry and I don't know why. She was afraid and the more that you watch the more that you see it. She was scared to leave but she also knew that she couldn't stay and you start to see too where she's getting a little bit braver to where she snaps at him.
Starting point is 00:19:06 Like in one scene they're recording something and she says to him something and I'm just paraphrasing here of like, well, if you knew how to edit, this would be a lot easier. Kind of realizing like I'm carrying the brunt work of all of this. This is all falling on my shoulders. Not only did I work to save all this money and convert our van for us and help fund this, but now I'm the one starting this YouTube series, starting this content, and you can't even help with editing it. You also can't set things up. You can't even put on a happy face. Just realizing that like this loser brings nothing to the table.
Starting point is 00:19:37 He's a little twerpy douchebag and but she still he had beat her down so much emotionally and mentally that she felt like she couldn't leave. She felt like he was, he did love her and that this was meant to be. So while when this case first happened, we knew that he was shady and that there was something weird going on between them, we all saw the polished version of their life. But this docu-series, it forced us to look at the truth. Social media is a highlight reel masking real danger underneath it. And that's exactly what was happening with Gabby and Brian.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Now, I talked earlier about this a little bit, but one of the most important things the documentary highlights is that the most dangerous time for a victim of this type of domestic issue is when they try to leave. And that is exactly what happened to Gabby, because she had reached out to people, she was thinking about leaving, and that is when Brian became even more unpredictable. And experts in this series kind of break it down like this. Abusers thrive on control. When they feel like they're losing it, they start to panic and this is going to become really key because I'm going to share with you what I believe was the catalyst of what made Brian snap. So this panic that they have can oftentimes turn into violence. And this is why so many of these cases turn deadly at the moment that the victim tries to leave,
Starting point is 00:20:53 because they just snap. It's terrifying, but it's true. Gabby was in the most vulnerable position she possibly could have been in. And the system failed her. So let's talk about the boiling point or what I believe to be the boiling point. So on August 27th, four days after Brian returned from Florida, Gabby and Brian were seen at two locations
Starting point is 00:21:13 in Jackson, Wyoming. And this is what I believe was the tipping point of everything because at this point, remember, she already had confided in her ex-boyfriend Jackson once that things weren't quite right, that she was feeling a certain type of way. She had a few days away from Brian. She was like, oh okay, like this isn't right, I'm editing. Then he comes back, so it's before she can make any decisions or distance herself. But then a few days later they go to Jackson, Wyoming, and while they're there she
Starting point is 00:21:40 sends a Snapchat to her ex-boyfriend Jackson saying, oh this reminds me of you, I'm in Jackson too. Like, you know, whatever that would have, whatever the context of that snap was. Then we see the Mary Piglet's Tex-Mex restaurant because witnesses reported that around 1 11 p.m. the couple was here dining. During their visit, Brian was observed arguing with restaurant staff. Gabby appeared visibly upset. We also saw text messages that she was sending Brian from the bathroom. She was apologizing for his behavior. It was just things were brewing. It's my opinion that he saw that she was in communication with her ex-boyfriend Jackson or had sent that snap and that this is what
Starting point is 00:22:22 made him start to spiral. Because shortly after leaving the restaurant at approximately 2 11 pm, surveillance footage then pictures them entering that Whole Foods. But when it shows them pull up in the parking lot, you can visibly see Brian get out of the van and slam the door, already angry, already fuming. Then they spend about 15 minutes inside before returning to the van. So as we know, these sightings on August 27th are among the last known instances of Gabby being seen alive in public, and it's also her last known contact with her family. Now, it's my belief, so let me backtrack a little bit. Again, this is all
Starting point is 00:22:59 my belief based on what we've learned and different time stamps we've heard of. It's my belief whether it was before or right after the Tex-Mex restaurant that Brian saw that she had sent that snap to her ex, realizing he's losing control of her. She probably already at that point too was beginning to pull away because remember she had had those few days to herself. She already was starting to pull away. And it's my belief that she was strangled and killed inside the van
Starting point is 00:23:25 shortly after Whole Foods and then I think he drove with her to the campsite. Now the reason why I think that is because all of that went down on the 27th but she also sent that infamous text message to her mom on the 27th. If you remember that day she sent a very odd text to her mom Nicole and it read, can you help Stan? I just keep getting his voicemails and his missed calls. And Stan was a reference to her grandfather. But Gabby never referred to him by his first name. She would call him Grandpa or whatever. So this text made her mom very suspicious, suspicious that Brian would have been
Starting point is 00:24:00 the one to maybe send this message from her phone because he would have been the only one calling him Stan. Now we don't know exactly what time she sent that text message, or I should say that that text message came from her phone. But unless it was very, very late at night or even the middle of the night, I would imagine that it would have been earlier in the day and that Brian wouldn't have risked attention or risked getting caught by texting her mom in the middle of the night. I think that if he was going to send that text, it was probably earlier in the day.
Starting point is 00:24:30 He wouldn't want to be like, I don't want her to question why I'm sending a text at 2 a.m. or why Gabby is sending a text at 2 a.m. So I think it happened earlier on in the day. So that would have meant that the estimated time of death would have been between when she left Whole Foods on the 27th and when that text message was sent on the 27th which in my opinion was probably more likely before 12 a.m. So that's a small window of time, right? Call it 2 30 p.m. To 12 a.m. And Again, I think that something happened in that van on the way to the campsite Maybe even right when they arrived at the campsite But I think that the catalyst was seeing something on her phone. And then I think he obviously had access to her phone. We know he did,
Starting point is 00:25:09 whether it was passcode protected or whatnot, because he sent the Stan text later on that day. And the FBI also determined, of course, that Gabby was killed between August 27th and August 28th. I personally believe it was the 27th. Then, as we know, Gabby's body was discovered on September 19th at the Spread Creek dispersed camping area in Wyoming's Teton National Forest, and the autopsy had concluded that she died of manual strangulation. Also that she had been deceased for about three to four weeks before being found. So I think one of the big pictures here, first and foremost, the big learning coming out of this docu-series was the true dynamic and just how controlling
Starting point is 00:25:47 Brian was and what a loser he truly was and I don't mean that jokingly like honestly like just a deadbeat loser And it shows us more of like what was going on behind the lens, but I think With Gabby's ex-boyfriend Jackson also speaking But I think with Gabby's ex-boyfriend Jackson also speaking, we get an insight into Gabby's mind those final days that she was realizing things weren't right. She was trying to detach. She was confiding so much so and I could say I've been in unfortunately similar relationships where there is definitely a shift in power and somebody who's very controlling and I will say when you do start to feel brave in those relationships and feeling
Starting point is 00:26:31 prepared to leave and prepared to walk away you get I don't want to say careless or reckless but you get more empowered more emboldened because you are in your mind feeling like you're already going to leave so there's not a risk necessarily of them finding out and being mad and I'm doing a really bad job explaining this so let me just kind of slow down and go back but while he was in Florida and she was in the hotel alone for those few days she reached out to Jackson gave expressing some concern she also had talked with family and friends, not about concern, but just she was starting
Starting point is 00:27:07 to be detached and get more confident in herself. Then when Brian's back in town, she still has the bravery and the courage to send a snap to her ex-boyfriend, something that I would imagine she didn't have before because he didn't even hear from Gabby for the first time until Brian was out of town So now she's feeling braver and she sends him that's tech saying I'm in Jackson thinking of you like cuz Jackson's your name this and that or like it reminds me of you not thinking of you, but it reminds me of you and Sends that while she's with literally either next to Brian or at least in close proximity to Brian So I think that is a detail that you could argue is very indicative of the fact that
Starting point is 00:27:50 she was detaching. I don't think she would have done that if she wasn't detaching. And that's why I believe that that was the catalyst. I think he had access to her phone, which I think we can prove he did because whether it was passcode protected or not, he sent a text message from it later. So it's not a far stretch to believe that he was going through her phone, that he was looking through her messages, that he wanted all control over her. Certainly not. Even if she was outside filming something with the drone, grabbing her phone to look and then seeing that. And I think
Starting point is 00:28:18 that's when it all kind of clicked for him. Shit. Stemming off this Moab incident. Stemming off of being apart when I was at the storage unit, now she's reaching out to her ex, like maybe he even went back and saw the text thread after seeing the snap history, who knows? And that's where it all kind of came to a boiling point. I don't think it was something that was necessarily premeditated. I think he probably did snap in the moment, and he went to hit her again. He put his hands on her and he strangled her Because he was panicked and pissed off that she was going to leave him And even if she hadn't said that she was going to leave him He probably knew and keep in mind that whole span of events was only two weeks
Starting point is 00:28:59 The body cam footage to when Gabby was killed was a two week period, which five of those days, Brian wasn't even in town for. He was in Florida. Actually, six of those days. So if you're talking, it was 15 days total between the two incidents. Six of those days out. There was only nine days that they were together, bookending, between Moab and when Gabby was killed. Five days after the body cam footage until he left, and then four days once he returned and he killed her. It's just, had there been a little more time, like I said, and it's always easy to look back in hindsight, right?
Starting point is 00:29:33 But had he been in Florida with that storage unit a little longer, maybe things would be different. And this documentary isn't just about revisiting a true crime case, it's about learning from it, because Gabby's story isn't just tragic, but it's a wake-up call. There are so many people in relationships like this, and many people don't make it out. The signs of coercive control, emotional abuse, the isolation, they were all there, but they
Starting point is 00:29:57 were very easy to miss, especially when Brian and Gabby's life just looked so perfect from the outside. So what do you take away? What are the big things? We always talk about generating awareness on this channel and how we can learn from it, how we can identify red flags. So what do we learn? Pay attention to the warning signs. If someone in your life is suddenly isolated, anxious, or constantly apologizing for their partner's behavior, you should check in on them.
Starting point is 00:30:25 And I'm gonna give a personal example here. Not that it's something that I noticed with a friend of mine or a family member, but something that happened to me. I was in a relationship when I was... how old was I? Let's call it 24 years old maybe, give or take, 24 or 25. And it was with someone who I had a history with, who had been with years earlier and we were trying to give it another shot he was much older than me and He wanted total control over me and I at first Romanticized it. I was like he just loves me so much He just I'm his whole world
Starting point is 00:30:58 like he just wants to be with me all the time because we're so in love and this and that and he doesn't want me to See other friends because he wants to be around me he wants me to only be with him and his friends and this and that but over time it got to the point where he wouldn't even let me work literally he would not let me go to work and then when i started working remotely he and i'd bring my laptop to his house and i would be like okay i just need to like have a couple hours i have a little bit of work to do because i was doing more consulting stuff at that time. He would get mad. He wouldn't even let me work on my laptop and in the rare moment that he would, he would be sitting over me like watching me to where I almost felt it got so bad to
Starting point is 00:31:38 where I felt guilty even trying to work when I was near him. I felt like I couldn't. He, anytime like if my phone would go off and I got a text message and I grabbed it, not like I was sitting there scrolling, but like if I went to respond, he'd be like, you're always on your phone. Why are you always on your phone? Like who are you talking to? What's going on?
Starting point is 00:31:55 To where I would start silencing my phone and like keep it away anytime I would go to his house because he would make me feel like I was doing something wrong. Like it was my fault that I shouldn't be talking on my phone. Almost made me feel like, and again I'm sorry I didn't prepare how I wanted to say this so I'm not explaining it very thoroughly or clearly, but it's like it brings me right back there.
Starting point is 00:32:19 He made me feel like I genuinely was doing something wrong to where I thought that I was being shady. I thought that I had to hide things because I was like, oh my God, he's going to get mad at me. What is he going to get mad at me for next? I can't work. I can't do this. And I slowly started to realize how he was isolating me from everybody.
Starting point is 00:32:35 He didn't want me working. He didn't want me talking to people. He wouldn't allow me to talk on my phone. Anytime we went somewhere, he always insisted that he was the one who would drive us, which I thought was like polite at first. But then I started to realize as time went on, it wasn't. It was so that I couldn't leave. And it got to be really, I don't want to say scary, but very uncomfortable to where I just felt like I was always on edge with him. And this is very TMI, but so much so that like he would demand when we would be intimate and I felt like I had no other option but to do that and like because I was
Starting point is 00:33:08 scared of how he was going to react and this was more emotional and mental it didn't get physical with him ever. Unfortunately, I have a track record of that too which is why I talk about true crime I've learned a lot guys but um it gets really scary and so sometimes like for me luckily I was able to identify what was happening and I realized after it took me a while but I realized something wasn't right and I ended up just like leaving what like he said something to me one day I remember I went to his house and he had a bad day and I had just arrived and it was like two in the afternoon okay and he had had a really bad day and he was proposing ask him I don't even know how you would want to say it insinuating that we needed to be intimate right at that moment I was like bro chill I just got here like and no like I'm not just here to be on demand for you like it was very uncomfortable and he like gas
Starting point is 00:33:58 let me he's like I am having a really bad day and you don't want to do what will make me feel better you don't want to comfort me you don't want to do that like what the fuck? Like and made it and then like went outside, started smoking a cigarette, making me feel like it was my fault to where normally I would have gone back and be like, I'm so sorry. Like you're right. I'm being selfish, this and that.
Starting point is 00:34:14 But to where I was like, what is happening here? Like he's making me the bad guy in this situation. Like because I don't want to have sex with him right now because I just walked in the door and it's 2 PM and like he's telling me the reason I need to be having sex with him isn't because I want to, it's because I need to make him feel better. Like it all started clicking and I don't know why I'm sharing so much right now,
Starting point is 00:34:32 but whatever, hopefully it helps somebody else who's watching this. And it clicked for me. And so while he was outside on the patio in the back of the house smoking, I just left. I just got my keys and I left. He started blowing at my phone. Where the fuck are you?
Starting point is 00:34:44 Where are you? What are you doing? And I was just like, first of all, nobody has ever made me feel as cheap as you just did right now and as controlled and I'm done. And that was literally the last time I ever saw him. And it was the best decision I ever made because that relationship was so toxic for a multitude of reasons and just beyond. So sorry, my whole point in explaining that is that sometimes you can identify these things within yourself or your own relationship, which is great, but sometimes you can't until it's too late. So if you ever notice that one of your friends or family members is starting to pull away or withdraw or that they're always trying to make excuses
Starting point is 00:35:23 for their partner's behavior, just check in on them. Also believe victims when they speak up. Gabby did confide in people, but nobody really fully grasped how much danger she was in. And that's not to their fault at all. She wasn't fully disclosing the severity of it. But even if people give you a little bit of information, err on the side of caution in my opinion
Starting point is 00:35:45 and think that the situation is much bigger than what they're probably sharing. Just like how, what is the truth if people say, what is it? It's like some sort of expression where if like, if guys tell you they've slept with five girls, multiply it by 10. If girls tell you they only spent $20 at the mall,
Starting point is 00:36:04 multiply it by 10, like things tell you they only spent $20 at the mall, multiply it by 10. Like things like that. Like inflate it. If they are giving you a little bit, it's safe to assume they're just trying to be discretionary and conservative with what they're sharing. Maybe even getting a pulse check on it. So I would say err on the side of caution and assume that things are bigger than what they're saying. Also, I think it's very important to know that leaving is the most dangerous time. If someone is trying to leave an abusive relationship, they or you need support and you need a safety plan in place. The statistic is something like it takes you seven or eight times to successfully leave. And we also know that statistically,
Starting point is 00:36:44 leaving is the most dangerous time to do so. So all in all, the Netflix series, American Murder, Gabby Petito, it is a tough watch, but it is necessary. It goes beyond just telling us what happened, but it really forces us to see the very deep rooted layers of abuse, control, and manipulation that ultimately led to Gabby's death.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Her story should have ended differently. She should have made it home. She should have had the chance to live the life that she dreamed of. But now the best that we can hope to do is make sure that her story helps others, helps other people recognize the warning signs before it's too late. So if you or someone you know is in a toxic or an abusive relationship, please please reach out for help. Resources are available and there are people who will listen because Gabby's story deserves to be more than just another true crime case. It should be a lesson and it should be something that helps prevent this from happening to anybody else.
Starting point is 00:37:38 And I could go on and on and on too about my thoughts about the dirty laundries, the despicable human beings they are, and what they did to Gabby's family when Brian returned home, and how freaking vile they are. But I would probably punch the camera if I continue talking about it because it makes me so angry. It makes me just, I have a visceral reaction of just rage when I think about them. And I recently did talk on my podcast about all of the conspiracies about if Brian's still alive, if his family helped him, because I know a lot of people are now dredging that back up. So it's only available on the podcast, not YouTube, but you can find it on Apple or on Patreon. It's not on Spotify, only Apple or Patreon, but we talk a lot
Starting point is 00:38:21 about that. But they are just the most despicable human beings ever, and I hope that they never walk into a single public place for the rest of their lives without eyes just burning into their souls because they are evil. The fact that they could do that to another mother and another family and withhold that information, it is the cruelest thing on the planet in my opinion. So anyway, I know that this one was a little bit unpolished. It kind of brings us back to our roots of how we started this channel. So if you've been here since the beginning, you understand this is kind of a throwback to those days, but I just wanted to jump on here. I wanted to share a lot about this and just kind of give you my take on everything. And again, the purpose of sharing her story and talking about it is to raise awareness. That's
Starting point is 00:39:08 all we can do at this point, but it is such a valuable tool and it is such a good learning lesson for us. So I really appreciate you tuning in despite I'm sure already being familiar with the story and watching so much content out there. Alright guys, thank you so much for tuning into another episode of Serialistly with me, Annie. I appreciate you guys being here. If you're not following the podcast yet, make sure you take a quick second, follow it.
Starting point is 00:39:32 Give us a rating and review if you're listening on Apple. I would greatly appreciate it. And make sure that you are following because I actually have another bonus episode that is gonna be dropping either later this week or early next. And it's one more where I covered a case recently and I was like, oh, we're not done. I got to drag this guy's ass.
Starting point is 00:39:48 I got to show who the real person is, what the real person under the mask that they're putting out there in the public is. So that's coming very soon. All right, guys, thanks again. And until the next one, please, please, please stay safe, be nice, don't kill anyone, and do not join any cults. All right. Bye. Stay safe, be nice, don't kill anyone, and do not join any cults. Alright, bye. Thanks for watching!

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.