Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 100. Right Person, Wrong Time?

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

Today, we're diving into the age-old dilemma: meeting the right person at the wrong time. Saff shares her two different approaches to this tricky situation. Is it just an excuse or a coping mechanism? Do you believe there's ever a right time? Ana weighs in on whether it's all situation-dependent. Plus, we explore the fascinating invisible string theory. Join us for a deep and thoughtful conversation on timing in relationships and what it all really means. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit connectsontario.ca. Hello, everyone. let's go hello everyone welcome back to sex lies and dm slides it is thursday which means we are back for another bonus episode so on tuesday we spoke about whether dating apps are out and our thoughts on this um and a lot about running clubs being the new dating apps. We're just quite fun. But today, we wanted to speak about meeting the right person at the wrong time. Because I feel like this is a very, everyone talks about this, right person, wrong timing. So we thought we'd do an episode on it. The idea of the one that got away. First of all, let's say, do you believe in right person, wrong timing?

Right. away first of all let's say do you believe in right person wrong timing right i don't really know where to start this topic because i have two very different approaches on it okay let's hear them when i was younger my approach would have been bullshit like there's never a right timing for anything so if you want it bad enough it will work yeah however as i've got older i believe in it a lot more because i think there's a lot more to factor in like we all go through different stages of our lives when we want different things. And I think depending in, I don't know, like what you're going through in life,

maybe you've just moved jobs or whatever. I, I don't know. I definitely think I'm more swaying towards, I actually do believe in it now. I definitely believe in it more so as I've got older whereas before I always thought it was an excuse it can be an excuse sometimes people people have definitely used it yeah yeah and I definitely do think it can be an excuse and I think it

it can mean that maybe you just don't like them as much you think you do but I also do think that for some people it genuinely can be right person, wrong. And not even wrong timing. I think more like, yeah, the time isn't right now. I think, listen, if you still want to be with them, but you're like, I just need two months because I really need to focus on this, this and this. Then to me, that's like more the right person wrong timing that i believe in if that makes sense so like because i've heard stories like say you just got out

a relationship and then oh yeah yes and you need to be single for some time you need yeah like maybe you're somebody that you need to have some time by yourself or you need to not just jump into another relationship like this is just an example so for me that could be right person but wrong timing like you need you need your space first you need to do stuff by yourself figure yourself out and then be of that person that that's the sort of right person wrong time and I believe in for somebody to completely cut something off for good because it's right person wrong timing I don't know how I feel about that it's hard I feel like I'm on the fence about the idea and I think my opinion changes on it like all the time because I've heard people have stories where like they've been with somebody for like four

years and they loved it but then the timing's not right so they break up and they get back together like years down the line and they're together forever so it's like was it right person wrong timing because it obviously was for you but then on the other hand I'm like like you said if you like that person enough and you want it to work you'll make it work even if it's not the right timing because you want it so bad so it's like I don't know because like I feel like I definitely have met people in the past where i've had the opinion of it's the right person wrong timing and i definitely thought that at the time when it was ending but i don't know whether i thought that at the time because that was an a way for me to cope with what was going on in a sense of like oh it's the right person but it's

not going to happen right now it will happen in the future so i don't know if that was me using that as a coping mechanism rather than me just not wanting to accept the fact that it isn't the right person let's go it's a new day how can you make the most of it with your membership rewards points? Earn points on everyday purchases. Use them for that long-awaited vacation. You can earn points almost anywhere, and they never expire. Treat your friends or spoil your family. Earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want.

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Register now at causeandeffect.ucc.on.ca. Listen, I know a lot of people, like you said, that have split up because of the timing or they were speaking and then they had like a big gap and then they've been together for years and years and years. Yeah, I was actually speaking to somebody yesterday. Exactly this happened. She was speaking to this guy for like quite a while they got really attached well it was actually more on his side he got really attached she really liked him but was like she just wasn't really the girl that got into a relationship like wanted to be single and then now they've been together for years and years but there was a gap in between

that that's what i mean so for them but then is that wrong person right timing or is oh yeah i guess that is wrong right person it's really hard but then also like do you but like do you ever believe that there is a right time like is there ever a right time no no i don't but then i also think okay so if this girl that i met didn't have this gap and they tried to go past all of these things that were in her head that she needed to be single for this reason this reason would they have would they work for the long run whereas like she came back to the relationship well they weren't they wasn't in a relationship but she came back to you know their relationship together after these few months that she had had by

herself. And now they've been together for years. Whereas maybe if she didn't have that time by herself, then she wouldn't, they wouldn't have lasted. Do you know what I mean? Because she would have always been thinking like, I need this time.

That time was needed in order for their relationship to be able to work. Yes. But then also part of me is like well is there ever a right time but yeah I think that's where I I struggle to I think it's really dependent I think a lot of people can use the excuse of right person wrong timing yeah but if you genuinely mean it then I think you'll always get back together it's hard I think it's so situation dependent like I said my opinion has changed on it as I've grown older and like come out of different situations because I've not ever used it as an excuse but like I said I use it as

a coping mechanism but then now that I'm so far out of that and I'm so far like over the situation I realized that it wasn't the right person it was never like one person wrong timing it was just an excuse for me to deal with the situation so i think it's really hard but then obviously there's loads of people who like the person you just explained they've had that time and it has worked out but then also mixed in with this right person wrong timing is also the invisible string theory which i actually love this theory and i've seen so many like people discover this theory after they've met their person and it leads to the right person at the right time so if you don't know what the invisible

string theory is it's the idea that everyone has someone in their lives who is attached to them by an unbreakable string that transcends time like distance and geography i don't really think this has happened to me with somebody that i've ended up with there's definitely like this is so random and you're i don't know if you remember who i'm on about but i think you remember the situation i met this guy in a club right but the thing is i know he's not my person but it just all seems a bit weird that this keeps happening i met this guy about three four years ago in manchester and never saw him again after this club night we followed each other on instagram but never saw each other again then do you remember when we were in ibiza for your birthday last year

and he took a photo you saw him yeah but he took a photo of us eating dinner and didn't realize i was in it i didn't realize he took the photo and put it on his story and then i replied to it and was like hey that's me in your photo and then when i had a drink with him nice whatever left it never spoke to him again he was in bali when i was just in bali in the exact same place at the exact same time shut up and i thought to myself i was like this is so weird because like i hadn't seen on instagram that he was in bali obviously i'd planned to go to bali since january so i was like this is really weird but like so that to me is kind of like the invisible string theory but like i know he's not that to me is you guys are meant to be like i'd be seeing that and i'd be saying to him like we're

obviously meant to be yeah i know it is a bit weird it is really weird and when he saw that we were in the same place really weird he said to me like when we're in manchester we need to go and grab a drink together and i was like yeah that'd be nice but like that why don't you i don't know i probably i will i will i will at some point but that was you should babe because it's obviously the universe is telling you i know that was it and i remember do you remember last year i was so fucking confused when i saw his story i was was like, that's me in the picture. I was just so baffled by it. But yeah, that to me is kind of like the invisible string.

Theory-ish. Maybe that will work out. Who knows? I don't know. But that, no, I'm actually amazed by that. It's weird how I've never seen him in Manchester since. That's the sort of thing I've run with and I would be telling him. I'd be like, listen. I know. It's the fact that I've never. We were obviously meant to. I've never seen him in Manchester since. That's the sort of thing I've run with and I would be telling him. I'd be like, listen.

I know, it's the fact that I've never... We were obviously meant to be. I've never seen him around in Manchester since. Ever. You have to go on that drink, Anna. Why would you not? Yeah, I know. I will go for a drink with him.

I definitely will. But like, that was just a bit weird. No, you need to. Okay. You need to because it's too strange. Okay, I've been told. I will message him. I will message him back and say...

And then when you guys are together, you can thank me because I also made it happen it wasn't the invisible string theory it was staff saying go on that it was me it was me i made it happen i'm claiming it but i do love the invisible string theory and like i would love that to come apparent when i'm with somebody that like we were always kind of like in each other's paths but it wasn't until the right time that it happened yeah see and that does make me believe in right person wrong timing i think as a whole i do believe in it i just hate when people use it as an excuse yes because it yeah it some people generally do use as an excuse and it's a really shit excuse if like i think when people use that blatantly as an excuse i don't think they ever liked the person enough in the first place like i think it's i feel like without

an explanation it just make i feel like the other person be like what the fuck because it's happened to me before someone said that to me and that's why i used it as a coping mechanism yeah and i think probably that person that did it didn't have a a reason as to why it was the wrong timing right they were seeing somebody else and used that as the excuse that i but then told me that we would be sorry they were seeing somebody else you know who this is and a couple of years ago and then used that as an excuse, told me when we finished speaking that we were going to be together in the future. Point blank told me that it's not if, it's a when.

So obviously, I then ran with that in my head and was like, oh, well, we're going to be together at some point in the future. But that was not good because then I ran with the idea for so long, which is why I use it as a coping mechanism. Do you know what I mean? So I do believe in it, in it yeah not as an excuse see I wouldn't it's really hard isn't it because I wouldn't say it to someone unless I really meant that like it's sad

that people actually say things like that and don't mean it yeah but if you genuinely mean it because sometimes that genuinely can be the situation you like the person so much but it's not the right timing for you personally. And that is a genuine thing that people feel. Let's go. Unvoluntary deal squeals can happen, like the deal on new running shoes squeal. The deal on a new blender squeal. Or the infamous deal on a new massager squeal. Save big on electronics, fashion, and more this Prime Big Deal Days, October 8th and 9th. As the world's population grows, so does the need for resources like potash to support sustainable food production. This is why BHP is building one of the world's most sustainable potash mines in Canada.

Essential resources responsibly produced. This is what BHP has committed to Canada. The future is clear. It's happening now at BH bhp a future resources company to discover how visit bhp.com slash better future so i actually do know someone who the invisible string theory like was like perfect down to a t and it was haz and her boyfriend emil and obviously they met oh i know this story this is crazy obviously they met on a plane to ibiza which was like that massive party plane that blew up in the news because everyone was like drinking and vaping on the plane and it was just insane

and obviously they met and when she met him on the plane we all just sort of pissed take but like we just thought like this is just a random boy going to ib for whatever they're definitely going to get married and have babies and live the rest of their life together now so i love that for them but then as they got to know each other more they realized that they were in the exact same places at the exact same time for pretty much the majority of their life but they just missed each other by like seconds like actually seconds or like minutes and it was like has says that she knew that she was meant to meet him when she did because she was ready for it and like it was it come at the perfect time in her life where now she's a completely different

person because of that relationship but in the best way possible and i was like that gives me like hope that like that theory is true because i love that imagine sitting there with your partner and you're like oh my god like or you you look at a photo and you're like you're in the background like and that would just be the weirdest, weirdest feeling. But like, that makes me believe like. I don't know if I'd also be a bit scared. Oh, I'd be freaked out.

I'd be so freaked out. I'd be freaked out. Because I've seen people on TikTok say like, they've met their boyfriend like two years after, but they've been in a festival at the same time and their boyfriend's in the background of their festival photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've seen all of that. It's actually why. And that is nuts. But then that does make me believe like yeah right right person right time you were meant to meet them when you did because maybe if you met them that time two years ago it wouldn't have worked out but then I do yeah I do kind of believe that like there's a plan for everyone life has a plan and everything is sort of like mapped out so we will meet that person when we're meant to meet that person so then maybe i do believe in yeah no i get that yeah so maybe i do believe in

like right person wrong timing i don't know i don't i really don't know i feel like it's really situation dependent yeah honestly and i think you experience different situations that will change your opinion on it massively yeah i think as a whole i definitely believe in it i just don't like when people use it as an excuse like i really hate that so i think that's what makes me think oh my god well if they liked you enough they would have like that would have been what i would have said to my friend yeah you know if if some guy that my friend was speaking to had said to her you know like i really like you but it's the wrong timing and that's kind of all that he gave yeah i'll be like well what the fuck is that that's bullshit if he had said to her like i can't think of another another reason than this which is why

i'm giving this but if he said to her listen i've just got out of a relationship i didn't expect to meet someone so quickly like i'm so happy yeah but i just need time by myself first i'd be like no that probably is right personal timing yeah if someone would use it to chuck away like literally that's all they put like oh like it's the right person but like no there's definitely different ways of using it and like you said i think i do believe in it just not yeah i don't know it's so situation dependent i've definitely believed it somewhere i do still believe in it the invisible string theory makes me believe in it more a hundred percent that you're meant to be a person yeah yeah yeah that blacks up that theory for me but you guys listening let us know if you believe in

right person wrong timing and like message us with your stories if that has been the case of like right person wrong timing because yeah because maybe that your stories if that has been the case of like right person wrong timing because yeah because maybe that's what we'll do in the next episode is start reading them out yeah and we can hear people's stories to like back up whether they believe it's true or not because i think there's gonna be a lot of people saying it's true i think we're gonna hear a lot of stories saying really do you think so okay i hope so because that gives me hope yeah no same okay but dms let us know yeah thank you so much for listening to this episode make sure you check out choose this episode where we had a catch-up we spoke about summer and of course we spoke about dating apps

we did also be sure to check us out on socials and subscribe to the pod on spotify so you don't miss out on all of the goss and we will see you on tuesday for our next episode bye everyone bye sex size and dm size is a spotify original podcast it was produced by spirit studios