Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 105. Relationship Comparisons: Are We Sharing Too Much?

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

In this episode, we’re diving into the tricky world of relationship comparisons. Would it be strange to have an argument and then post about it online? We explore why we compare our relationships to others, especially when social media only shows the highlight reel. We also fantasise about our dream proposals—would we drop hints, or let it be a surprise? Plus, Ana shares the details of a reading that predicted she’ll have a baby in 2025. With relationships being so accessible now, is it too much? Tune in for an honest discussion on love, comparison, and modern romance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit connectsontario.ca. let's go hello everyone welcome back to sex lies and dm slides it is tuesday which means we are back for another episode so in thursday's episode we asked the question do you really need to be healed in order to date again so make sure you catch up with that if you want to hear our thoughts on that topic but today we thought we would dive into a topic that many of us grapple with which is relationship comparisons and how do we deal with the pressure of comparing our relationships to others especially in this age of social media now I personally have seen I have looked at social media and one million percent compared my situation to somebody that has posted like a hundred percent a hundred percent and I think it's do you know I think we've actually spoken about this before I think it's really easily done I think the problem is with social media there's so many great things but when it comes to comparing

a relationship or even friendships you're never seeing the bad parts of some relationship you're only seeing the good parts to be honest it would be weird if somebody shared the bad parts like say i'm saying this as if i had a boyfriend i don't say i had an argument with my boyfriend and i posted that online it would be a bit strange yeah or like imagine like yes people probably compare less but it would also be a bit strange. Imagine nobody's doing it. Live streaming an argument. People would be like, what the hell are you doing? Yeah, right?

Yeah, but then people like, it's really hard because like, I look at relationships on social media, but then I also know on the other side, I know they're not like that. Like, we know stories, we've seen living proof that, you know- I know that we're both thinking of one couple i could tell you now we're both thinking of a couple the same couple i can assure you but yes it's nothing like it's perceived online which does give me that little like

glimpse of so when i look at things i know it's not like that but still i still do find myself sometimes comparing relationships but why do you think we do that like why do you think we compare our relationships and ourselves well I think it's when you're when you're missing something and you see that somebody else has it it's very easy in fact even when you're not missing something you know it's like or if you've had like a slight doubt say for an example your boyfriend had never bought you flowers before but it never bothered you right yeah if there was a social media you'd probably never think anything of it but because all of these instagram girls and guys

whatever they're like posting big bouquet of flowers constantly and listen we all do it but because you see that you then automatically think well why is my boyfriend not sending me that even if it wasn't a problem before I think it's just I don't know I think yeah I was gonna say if something's missing but actually I don't even think it is just if something's missing I think I guess I don't really know the real reason for why we compare but I guess it's it's very easily done when it's there right in front of us 100 like it's so accessible you don't have to go out and look for it no we literally just go on instagram nowadays and we will see that someone has got

which i still would love future boyfriend that little like rose petal situation going on you know what i mean like it is just it is incredible but it yeah it does put things in your mind like you said you never would have thought of maybe wanting that before but you see somebody else have it and you're now like oh why hasn't my partner done that there's it could genuinely be so many reasons one that might not be his love language like people have completely different love languages and that just might not be his but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you any less because he hasn't laid out a thousand rose petals but i think it's just hard to understand and see that when you see it all over social media but just remember people are only showing

the good parts but at the same time i would still love the rose petals i do at the same time we would love the rose petals i do think about that that daily. I would love on Valentine to those little rose petals, like a trail. I would love to experience that one day. Yeah, same. But yeah, I think that's probably, I mean, I would say that's most people's dream. I know it's very serious, not dream,

but I think a lot of people would appreciate, like would like that. Because even if you're somebody that doesn't like much attention,'t want it all about them that's something that's so intimate so I think a lot of people would like that so really guys girls take notes let's go Upper Canada College inspires boys from senior kindergarten to year 12 to find their passions and realize their potential. An IB World School, UCC offers a supportive environment, cutting-edge facilities, and a best-in-Canada financial assistance program.

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and how, with the pens oil platinum up to 15 year 800 000 kilometer protection guarantee your adventures will be many pens oil long may we drive available at your local canadian tire enrollment required keep your receipts other conditions apply see pens oil.ca slash warranty for full details let's go you know what just while we're on the topic of like rose petals everything like that this is really random but i just saw a tiktok the other day and it really got me thinking if you were going to get proposed to would you want you know how some people like put up a thing that says will you marry me would you want that sign to be there before he asked you to marry him i've thought about this so many times like so many times

no because to me that ruins the surprise yeah but i think you would like you're not exactly walking that far are you you're only walking how far not that far yeah like from i don't know like 10 20 meters from where you are at the beach to that point or like in Dubai where people do it on like the rooftop I don't know but I see people walk around it says will you marry me I'm like oh my god that's a surprise but like I would just love the surprise to be him getting on one knee when I have no idea yeah I think I'm very much the same as well I don't think I want the sign will you marry me it's I think it's amazing gesture and when i see it i'm like oh my god it's beautiful and it looks beautiful it looks incredible but i just i still want the rose petals i want the flowers i want it all same

i just don't want the will you marry me neither i just want that bit to be left with a little bit of suspense a little bit of a surprise and he can get down i think my dream would be on a beach but like i think we're going out for a really nice dinner in the moldy's in the moldy aiming high guys in the moldy's think we've got a really nice dinner you know we're sat there it's beautiful where i'm like oh my god i can't believe like how ot he's gone for this dinner this is the nicest thing in the world then he gets done on one knee yeah i love that i feel like not asking for much not babe i've you can have your dream proposal if you want that that is like any girl's dream proposal in the maldives on the beach i i would love honestly i'm not actually no i am

bothered where i would not want a public proposal i personally absolutely do not want a public proposal i don't want hundreds of people around looking. I just want it to be like us two in that moment. Do you know what's funny? I had this conversation with my mum not that long ago. And she was like, Saffron, when you were younger, and I don't remember wanting this, and I'm pretty sure it came from Friends with Benefits.

Because you know there's a flash mob in the beginning of Friends with Benefits? My mum said that I used to want a flash mob from my proposal a flash mob a flash mob imagine i think i'd honestly have a breakdown if i had a flash mob as a proposal i mean i would because to me it's not romantic yeah but it would be insane like i've actually never seen it happen like as a proposal it's like it would be actually madness it's definitely a wow moment and a lot of effort moment because oh my god to go through the just let you everyone know if any guys listen to this my future husband if you're listening to this right now i don't want a flash proposal anymore this was when i was younger flash proposal yeah yeah that is quite something you know what if

someone did do that the effort would be through the roof because oh my god how on earth does somebody even begin to organize a flash mob I know that is crazy but yeah love the idea but maybe just not for us girlies yeah I mean there's actually even my wedding day i've like planned oh guys this is not even the episode but oh my god i i have to tell you what i want for my wedding day oh go on i have made sure my parents know right no guy will marry me unless him my brothers my dad all of them did a dance routine for me on my wedding day. Oh my God. At the after party, you want a full routine. I do.

I love that. That is like my literal, only because I just think the effort that would go in. You know, all the videos of the groom and everything when they come out. And I'm like, oh my God. When I tell you, I would love that so much. Also, because I've always wanted to be with somebody that doesn't take themselves too seriously yeah and i feel like that and i just think imagine like my brothers my dad my granddad like everyone getting together on a tuesday night

practicing this dance routine it would be iconic actually freaking good it actually yeah if it was actually really good like no that's what i mean like i want it to be good like really in sync like they're all dead in sync they're coming out they've all gone on a tuesday night every tuesday for the last two months and they've rehearsed this dance but the thing is your family other type of family to do that like you know you're gonna get that well i i know i'm gonna get it because i've literally told every guy i've ever been with this is this is what we're gonna have on our wedding day just let you know I cannot wait to see your dad do an in-sync dance with all he is gonna be hammered when he's doing that dance I can already see it he probably no I think he's gonna be hammered straight after oh yeah maybe he'll do it and then he'll be like

right I can drink now yeah I think so because I think my dad will take it way too seriously which is exactly what I love. Oh my God, and Casey, and Jed. And Jed. Jed's quite a good dancer, you know. Is he? Yeah, Jed can actually, like, Jed could dance. I think in another universe, Jed would be a dancer, which is weird, because when you look at Jed, you don't think dancer. What, has he got, like, rhythm? Has he actually got good rhythm?

No, Jed's, like, actually got rhythm. You know, Jed can harmonise to me too. He can actually sing too. I know. Jed's got a lot of talent in this locker. What the hell? Jed actually has got quite a lot of talent. He's a really good tennis player. He's a good cook.

He can sing and, well, I wouldn't say he can sing, but he can do harmonies. I mean, that's, yeah, that's a talent. And he can like dance, so. Well, maybe he needs to also do singing and dancing as well as cooking on TikTok at this rate. Yeah, I know. Oh my God.

He can do tennis. He goes into Imogen and instead of asking what do you want for dinner, he's like, what do you want me to sing? And then he just starts harmonising and dancing. What note do you want? What note do you want? C sharp. Anyway, we've gone completely off topic. I don't even know where we've gone now.

Now we're on to our dream weddings. Yeah. And dream proposals and do you know what's sad is there's definitely way more girls listening to this and guys so our future husbands aren't listening right now but it's fine because i tell them all anyways i'm like you know if you really loved me this is what you do for me on my wedding day oh i will definitely be dropping hints in obviously do you not just think everyone at the moment is getting engaged i feel like yes i'm pregnant but babe i think that's just our age yeah maybe literally everyone on my feed is every night i think that's all right yeah every night about five six o'clock

i've got another one i'm like oh my god oh my god you know i do sit and think to myself sometimes right what's crazy is i genuinely always thought by 24 i'd be married and have kids oh i always thought that i thought i would have no doubt about it yeah i thought i definitely have a kid by 25 1 million percent which is babe there's still time i was gonna say there are you still got you on your hand yeah there is still time for that and you know i had a um what you call like a tarot reading and they told me i was gonna have a kid next year which i'm not too sure where that kid shut i'm not front yeah i'm not too sure where that baby's coming from because at the moment just got no got no

baby daddy so wait what yeah but i've had someone else when did you have this reading a couple of months ago but i've had someone else tell me as well in 2025 i was gonna have a baby but like i just can't see that but like i don't know i just can't like as much as i would love no i can't see it i i really can't i just can't but like if i do i'll look back on this episode and go wow oh my god they were right i've got a baby oh my god stop if that was the case i'll be getting this tarot reading i'll be getting that person to read me my entire life i think oh a million percent if that comes true i trust that woman with my whole heart yeah because that's like a bold statement though because i know okay i don't believe in a lot of people that do tarot readings okay personally my personal opinion i just don't i don't understand how you can know the future yeah

anyways so my personal thing is like i don't believe in it but for her if she if she didn't actually believe that right that's a bold statement for her to get wrong do you know what i mean because i could go back to her it's quite a big statement i could go back to her and say well it didn't happen i didn't have a baby and i don't know what like do you know what i mean so yeah it's a very bold statement to make but um i just can't imagine the day me and you post a pregnancy announcement or an engagement post is actually gonna feel like the most surreal day of my whole entire life see what's funny is i can really imagine me doing that maybe that's because you've had public relationships though. Yeah.

And I think also because I have nieces and nephews, like I'm just so used to, and I've always like cared for people. I don't know. I don't think, see me being a mum doesn't feel weird to me at all. No, that doesn't feel weird to me either. Like I can't wait to be a mum.

But then also if I turn around and said I was pregnant now to everyone i don't think they'd believe it yeah who do you think because my whole life i've thought that i had to be pregnant before you but i actually think you're gonna be pregnant before me i think like i'm the sort of person that would think what even is the word that i think I'm the sort of person that would I think it would probably I'm putting not putting words into your mouth might be wrong not that you would be scared to be a mum at all we'd both be probably actually terrified to be quite honest I'd be absolutely terrified to be a mum but like I think the idea of maybe being a mom tube might be more scary than me. But at the same time, I don't know.

I feel as if, I don't know. I feel as if you could get pregnant first. Maybe I will. Who knows, guys? You've heard it. Well, I actually personally think it will be you. But we'll revisit this episode when it comes to the time. See, that's what I mean. I think it'd be me because I feel like i'm the sort of person who just get into another relationship somehow yeah without even trying to

so i feel like it'd be me but also honestly i'm trying to go down a whole different career path and i can't have a baby anytime soon no so maybe with me maybe i'll do a foot is it like a 180 and just surprise everybody and be like and you know what i can see is i can see the family vlog channel i can see it no i'm gonna add zalfi 2.0 and then i'll get a dog zalfi 2.0 for real yeah and then i'll change my name to like anastasia family yeah i mean i can genuinely see that i can see it i don't know what 2025 maybe i don't know who knows i'll make some real good new year resolutions this year oh my god imagine you at the bump oh i can't wait for a little bump picture anyway we need to go back to the topic now because i don't know what we really need to go back to the topic anyways we're uh we've gone let us know if you want to see that

yeah and i can make it happen next year let us know and that's on my 2025 mood board and vision board. Let's go. After decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors, Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists, one movement disorders coordinator, 58 answered questions, Two focused ultrasound procedures. One specially developed helmet. Thousands of high-intensity focused ultrasound waves.

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You can earn points almost anywhere, and they never expire. Treat your friends or spoil your family. Earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Learn more at amex.ca slash yamxtermsapply. So do you think that men or women compare themselves to other couples more? Women. women compare themselves to other couples more women see i actually do think women do but then

i think men end up yeah i think women compare it more but then i think because of that men end up feeling a lot more pressure because of that yeah no no no very true like because if they're not the sort of person to you know do like massive gestures before and their girlfriend's like oh i want this i want this i want that but you know the boyfriend massive gestures before and their girlfriend's like oh I want this I want this I want that but you know the boyfriend might not be in the financial position he just might not have that love language whatever that puts a whole other pressure on their relationship because he will obviously know how much he loves her but she might so so stupid and very deep but might question that because he doesn't do those things yeah and i mean typically like guys do do more than girls

like in in the sense of surprise well actually saying that not even do you know how good i am at surprises but you are really good at surprises i am i'm great at surprises thanks anna glad you back me there but um no i know what you mean I do think it is a lot more pressure for guys definitely but I think they wouldn't compare if their girlfriend wasn't comparing like I don't think I don't think a guy probably sits there and compares and thinks oh I want a relationship like that yeah I don't think that's very common obviously some guys might but I don't think it's very common whereas I think most but i don't think it's very common whereas i think most girls compare also i might be wrong but i feel like guys typically don't

follow all the girls who are posting all these things so it's like it's no exactly and the guys probably aren't posting them they're not posting i just bought these flowers for my girlfriend no they're definitely not posting this big balloon set up on their story i mean maybe the odd person would i don't know But like as a whole, I feel like it is just more girls that see these things. And like once you. and I think honestly, I think guys just compare themselves less in general as well.

Not even just in relationships, but you know, nearly every girl on my explore page, I'm like, oh my God, she's unreal. Oh my God, she's unreal.

Oh my God, she's just insane. Oh my God, that outfit. I can bet you again not every guy this is very stereotypical but most guys aren't going oh my god like wish i looked like kim or his outfit mate or like you know i just don't think they'd be comparing in that sense yeah i'm not saying that guys don't have insecurities and everything else absolutely like without a doubt but i think it's yeah i just

don't see them comparing themselves as much you know yeah i definitely don't think they do i mean of course we're saying this very stereotypically because they completely might but it's even like once you end up on that side of tiktok like it's happened to me before where i've literally just ended up on that side of tiktok where all i'm seeing is flowers proposals dream relationships every two fucking tiktoks and i'm like oh i can't i can't right because of my single self i'm like i can't sit and look at this but do you think that these like relationship comparisons then help us increase our standards or do you think that it kind of puts like unrealistic expectations on a relationship uh I kind of think both in some ways yes like if something's missing or if you know you don't know if like there's definitely been times where I've thought to myself and

luckily I have a lot of friends I can talk to but there's definitely been times where I've thought is that normal for like a guy to do that or is that normal for them to not even care about this or not even care about that then yes like I think in that sense it massively can help but also I do think it can also bring unrealistic expectations because nobody's life looks like what it is online no one's um like at all we are saying that i mean it's different it's different i think on youtube because you can actually vlog more of your life even so you're seeing half an hour of a week but you know compared even when you compare that to an instagram picture like that is literally a picture you're not seeing

any emotions past that picture apart from the smile that they've got in that photo yeah you just have no idea what actually goes on like me and staff are saying that from knowing people and knowing experiences from social media like i promise you it does not look like that i mean like for some people again we can't say because it's like you know some people do have those special moments and it is exactly like that but a lot of the time it does set unrealistic expectations and like you said I think it helps increase our standards to a point but also like I don't think seeing a photo really does like it you more increase your standards by having your own personal experiences being treated right or wrong and then you know how you want to be treated that's how I increase my standards through my own personal experience not by me seeing a million

roses and I now expect that in my next relationship I would love it but I can't expect it and I think there's like that's like two different things like really wanting it and expecting in a relationship yeah no that's very true I mean I think we've probably all fallen to the like every one of us would have compared in some way and every one of us of course would have thought oh my god they're getting this why aren't I getting that like that's just you know that's natural nowadays yeah I think it is a very natural like I said I think it's because it is just there in your face you don't even have to look for it you know yeah and i wonder if nowadays that has become more of a problem in relationships

because 30 40 years ago if someone was doing that you wouldn't see it like you said whereas it's so accessible now to see all of this stuff on social media that that maybe naturally would cause more problems because it's just another problem to add to the equation that was never there 40 years ago yeah which is just crazy but do you think then you should share your thoughts with your partner to say if you really want it and you're you know feeling like something's missing do you think you should share that with your partner because of what you've seen on social media oh my god yeah i do i i don't know how i'd approach the conversation but i don't like if i feel like something was missing a hundred percent i think yeah i really think it depends what it is i mean to be honest i'm somebody you should always say how you feel even if you're worried you're

going to upset the other person i really think you should always say how you feel because eventually you will say it yeah within time you're going to say it because if something's bugging you even if it's a year down the line you're going to say it at some point so you may as well just say it and it's I don't know I just think feelings like that are always better out than in like I don't think it helps anyone in a situation keeping your feelings in because also you'll naturally act different you'll have an attitude towards something like you know they keep doing something you don't like you're constantly yeah I just a hundred percent I think you should say it I think it's really hard like it's depending on what it is I don't think I've ever sat there and gone to like my boyfriend oh my god so-and-so is buying flowers and you don't think I've ever sat there and gone to like my boyfriend oh my god so and so's buying

flowers and you don't mind me flowers I mean that's just yeah that's wild this is wild right but you know but yeah I agree I feel like when you have a problem a hundred you need to air it out because if you let it build up it's only ever going to become a bigger and bigger and bigger problem and you're going to cause more ag in your head and turn it into something that it really shouldn't have been when you could have just mentioned it and squashed it within five minutes yeah but if i wanted flowers i probably would more you know i don't want to ever have to ask for those things i would just love my that's the thing that's hard isn't it i just want my boyfriend if he wants to do that to do that for me i don't want to have to sit and say will you buy me flowers will you do this blah blah like no because it's

like well if you ask doesn't really mean much yeah like i love the fact that you've listened if i've asked but i don't want to have to ask so if it was more something like that i don't know like if it was to do with like a flower pose or whatever like i would just like jokingly saying conversation oh my god babe have you seen this i love this or like sending it on instagram being like how cute to be fair it's actually funny because with my ex i would give hints like that not gonna lie like i was that girl that would give hints how would you how would you give the hints but like by like sending things and being like how cute okay so like if i was with him be like how cute is this and the thing is he never fucking got the drip like he never i just think if they're gonna do it they're probably gonna do it like he never even knew how to send flowers which

blew my mind because even if you haven't sent flowers before like surely you think how are other people sending flowers I remember I had I actually had a conversation with him before about it because he said like I can't remember what it was but he'd said something along the lines of you always like talk about flowers I don't even know how to send you flowers I'm thinking it's not that hard to figure out you just I'd be like if you if he wanted to he would have just said you know he would have just sent flowers so it got to a point where I'm like I'm not gonna keep I'm not gonna ask him because I mean I was basically asking him like now I wouldn't even do the hinting I don't think

yeah you're doing it very indirectly yeah and I but I don't even I wouldn't even do that anymore like if a guy listen I sound like I wanted flowers every week I just wanted my boyfriend to send me one lot of flowers the whole time we were together like that was genuinely it like I actually love flowers I think we're the same we have our own place yeah so it actually makes a difference to our home 100% whereas if I lived at home with my family probably won't be that bothered but flowers actually make such a difference to my house so I remember I just wanted like one lot of flowers I was like oh my god that's so thoughtful blah blah blah yeah never no I never got flowers but then obviously on Valentine's Day I did yeah whatever I got but it really means nothing because

this is what we mean by comparing your relationship online like looks like it's amazing but behind the scenes what was going on in my relationship wasn't amazing so you know that's like a prime example if you can't compare that is actually a prime example I mean like I wasn't lying because I felt like I was you know I was happy I was in love everything else it wasn't me that was lying on social media but the reality is it I mean he was lying yeah so like it wasn't what it was shown to be online yeah I think that's a really important and probably a good example of try not to compare yourself because I do think it is yeah I just think it's so easy and it's so easy to just see the goods of somebody's

relation but then it's hard because i actually wasn't lying like our relationship was good majority of the time but but it's just yeah but that was a good example like i yeah that was a very good example of you can't always yeah you know but even with the flowers thing right because like you just said flowers make such a difference to your home they really do like when you have your own place and you have like a nice dining table or like a kitchen side having flowers on it nice it just makes it feel like a home to me but it's also like the little note that they would write like with the flowers to me that's so thoughtful like I just want to keep that forever like I just think that's like even the cuter part so I I love flowers as well flowers like a big

thing for me like every time I've been bought flowers I'm like oh my god that is the cutest thing in the whole entire world yeah I love it so much so I mean I actually did not think I was gonna mention this on here but here we are so I'm just gonna say it now since when you're pure shock so on my birthday oh and I sent you flowers But also I got sent my favorite flowers in the entire world, which bear in mind, every, I say, I always say every relationship as if I've been in so many, but every relationship I've ever spoken to, I've told them, and not one guy has ever got me these flowers

that are my favorite flowers. Like, because they're not a common flower, right, at all. And long story short I was seeing somebody recently who is genuinely the best person I've ever met in my life and I obviously didn't speak about it on here because I didn't really know where it was going to go and oh my god he literally is just so perfect in every way but for like certain circumstances we just guys again another long-distance relationship and I just I genuinely can't although I'm the person that's always vouched for long-distance relationships right now it's just not gonna work where I am in my life but you never know in the future but anyways my birthday he bought me these

flowers literally I can't even tell you like i have told everyone about these flowers even like my best friends i'm like oh my god my favorite flowers and they're like oh my god peonies i'm like no like no one remembers them as like a passing comment one time i was like oh they're my favorite flowers how the fuck you remembered i don't know it's and i just thought wow it's the little things like the fact that you only mentioned it once as well and he remembered i know like so cute they're blue hydrangeas by the way so like very rare flower i don't think i've ever seen those on like no i don't like an interflora you can't just get like yeah they're not a very common flower at all especially in a blue color yeah so guys if they wanted to i feel like they just would anyway so i feel like the hints

you don't want a hint they just would if they wanted to i had this before actually this is a very long time ago like three years ago i went on a date with somebody and i am passing just i can't i didn't he didn't ask what my favorite flower was i just somehow just managed to say a peony i don't know how it came out and then the second day he had a massive bouquet of those flowers on the seat when i got in the car and they were from a florist i remember that i actually remember that and i remember why did you not work out with him i thought he pretty much seemed too good to be true yeah i think it was one of those situations where like it was a bit too good to be true i actually can't remember um but i was i remember that feeling of like opening the car door and I was like, oh my God.

Like it was just, I don't know, like pure shock. I was like, how? I don't know. I just like people who listen. And that just proved that he, like people who listen are just so lovely. And I was just like, oh my God. So yeah, flat. Yeah.

We love flowers. And it's hard, isn't it? Because like you said it there is a lot of pressure I think for guys and like flowers they're not even they're not cheap to buy flowers especially if you know like they actually are really expensive so expensive so expensive from like an actual florist which does make a difference but but like so expensive so you know I do think it is a lot more pressure for a guy and like you said that might not be their love language at all but I think it's just like listening to your partner

yeah and I mean I don't know a girl that has not liked a bouquet of flowers neither I do not know one girl neither hasn't liked bouquet of flowers oh my god have you seen that tiktok it went really viral where the guy was buying her flowers like every day the same week like every day once oh my god how do i word this are you gonna say he took the flower out yeah and then kept the rose petals or like the little petals and then he made them into something no so he he would take one flower out i don't actually know if this is the true story because i think one guy did it oh and now there's like loads of like stories about like people doing it but he would basically take one flower out of the bunch to know when the flower dies so then he could buy a new lot of flowers yes so i've seen that one but there's also another one where he took a rose petal from each bunch

that he bought all over the year and then he got them pressed into a picture so it had every single rose like flower petal from every flower but he'd ever bought her and then he gave her over the year, and then he got them pressed into a picture. So it had every single rose, like a flower petal from every flower bunch that he'd ever bought her. And then he gave her it for Christmas. And it was the most beautiful thing. Because she obviously didn't realise at first, she just thought it was a photo. And then he wrote on the back what it actually was.

And he'd filmed himself picking off all the petals every week. Oh my God. That is just the cutest thing. And I was like, oh, like, that is insane and like this is also guys if you wanted to you would and then we'll go back to the topic did you see when bronte king got engaged her no okay she got engaged recently and her fiance was had like a ring box with him from like pretty much like six months of them meeting to each other and when she wasn't looking he would take a picture or a video of holding the ring box with her in the background doing something

i've seen people do this but i'm like how do they do it because i swear it's good i'd turn i know my knowing my like i would turn around but she's like walking through the airport and he's holding the ring box or like she's just in the house like unpacking a suitcase and he's like holding the ring box and he's wrote on screen like how long it was until he was going to propose and it's just little things like that i'm like if he wanted to he would because if my fiance showed me that video after he proposed to me i would break down like i literally would break i'd be like how like i just thought it was one of the most cutest and most beautiful things i've ever seen yeah no that is so cute i've actually seen that so many times but i i just

know for a fact i would turn around so i i don't even think i want someone to risk like how could he even risk that it's crazy i know because what if you did turn around like actually what if you did the whole surprise and the whole thing is ruined to be fair when he was doing it she looked very in depth doing something like he wasn't just doing it like as she was casually walking and she could just turn around like she oh do you know what though i'll be like oh babe don't share that video because i might hunch back in that one or babe don't for real i'll be looking at that maybe that's just for us i will just keep this video just for us but anyway back to we keep going off on some real

tangents today but have you ever been inspired by like any of your friends relationships in a positive way? And like how you've taken that and influenced it onto your own relationships? So the thing is with me is none of my friends have really been in relationships, which is wild. Yeah, mine haven't. Like actually, you know, the only way I'd say I've been inspired is if something bad's happened and I'm like, oh, I don't want that. Honestly, up until like last year, that was me too. I feel like I've seen loads of bad things. I'm like, oh, I know I can't let that happen.

But then when Haz met her boyfriend, Emil, and I saw the way that he loved her, I have never seen anything like it in my life. And I was like, that is the first like really close person to me i've seen in the most amazing positive relationship that i was just like god i was like wow like actually fairy tale love does exist like it sounds so stupid right but like in her past relationships her boyfriend like if she would go out with her friends that's problem that's a real problem he has to message all the time what are you doing where i blah blah now it's oh baby you go have fun just let me know when you're back safe and that is that should not be what like that should just be standard but now that's like

amazing if someone does that which is actually crazy because that gen you should just be standard but yeah like i feel like now i've looked at that and i'm like you've restored my faith in in men and finding love and i feel like i will take like a lot of what i've seen and put like that on my next relationship whenever the fuck that's gonna be because honestly at this rate it's gonna be 2030 so babe it's gotta be before next year because you're having a baby next year oh yeah sorry yeah it's gotta be 2025 yeah so and i tell you what it comes when you're not expecting it so babe that's what's gonna happen to you babe it really does and i'm kind of stressed now because the more i actually think about it i I'm like, oh shit. Like, oh shit.

But maybe 2025, guys, maybe. 2025 is going to happen. Let's go. Hey you. Yeah, you. Scrolling TikTok and avoiding your chem homework? Cheg here. Hot take.

You've seen enough Bama Rush, ASMR keyboard, and viral dance videos for one day. Let's lock in and start that assignment. If you need a little help, lean on Chegg's expert-supported learning tools. I say this with love. Put on some lo-fi beats and get going with our step-by-step study support. Your weekend will thank you. Small steps today means big wins tomorrow. With Chegg. Subscribe today. big wins tomorrow. With Chegg. Subscribe today. You got this. Prime Big Deal Days is coming October 8th and 9th.

With exclusive savings just for Prime members. Involuntary deal squeals can happen. Like the deal on new running shoes squeal. The deal on a new blender squeal. Or the infamous deal on a new massager squeal. Save big on electronics, fashion, and more this Prime Big Deal Days, October 8th and 9th. Let's go. Do you think friends add pressure to the way the relationship should be like do you think this is a good or a bad thing i was with a friend of mine a couple of days ago and we were having the

conversation and she had basically had an argument for boyfriend and she had told me and i said to her well thank god you didn't tell so and so because she'd never live it down like from him from him if that makes sense so like now she's made up with him so they had an argument she's made up with him now and obviously at the time i'm like oh he's such an idiot blah blah blah and backing my friend like i think my friend's fully in the right everything else but they're now back together now so it's nothing to do with me like it's not even it's their relationship so I'm gonna support her no matter what whereas I said to her thank god you didn't tell so-and-so another one of our friends because every time they're together she'd be like I hate him now I hate him now like there's no and i think like even pressures like that from friends i just i guess that's kind of not the question i've just

asked but like that's one thing i absolutely hate is when people like in a bad way just constantly i don't know feel the need to say something about your relationship yeah i do think i honestly do think sometimes not all friends but certain friends can add pressures and like sometimes you feel like you can't tell certain friend things because you know they are going to change their opinion and you know i've definitely been in this situation with my friends before where their partners have done things wrong so many times that it's got to the point between some of our friends that they've actually refused to be around them and it's like i've now learned that that actually makes it

harder for your friend you're only causing your because they're going to be with them either way that then if they want to be with them they will be with them the difference is they're just not now going to tell you yeah and you you know they were probably really relying on you to be there and now you're not going to see them you've just made their life 10 times harder obviously i get it from a friend point of view if your friend is getting cheated on left right and center all this shit is happening yeah i think it's different though if it's like every week they're getting cheated on and like yeah you know an awful awful person and it's like constantly because that is like what are you doing then then i get it but like you know if you have one or two

arguments i think you just need to you know yeah like every relationship has arguments every relationship is not going to be picture perfect and you know when your friend confides in you about that argument they're probably just looking for advice they just need to vent and i feel like you know yeah you should never i feel like certain friends can have good and bad influences but you know what it's all a learning curve like i said i've gone through situations with all my friends where we've refused to see people but then other people will see like you do just have to go through all of these things but overall i don't think you should ever get to that point where you're like refusing to see their partner or making their life harder because you don't want to do that

for your friend even if you think they're making a stupid harder because you don't want to do that for your friend even if you think they're making a stupid decision like that they are going to make that stupid decision whether or not you support it or not you might as well support it and laugh about it at the end true like i felt like that exactly that i feel like that wasn't even really the question that i just answered but as i was saying that i was thinking you know what i had this conversation with a friend the other day and it you know it just felt like it was very needed to say yeah but i feel like that wasn't really the question i was kind of getting at but um but i feel like it's but no i mean i do think friends can add pressure to the way your relationship should be yeah i think people compare to their

own relationships you know and so i think a lot of the times friends probably do it without even realizing we've probably all done it you know of course naturally think a lot of the times friends probably do it without even realizing we've probably all done it you know of course naturally we have like of course actually we have and yeah friends can add that pressure in good ways and bad ways but as i can overall round up of this episode do not compare your relationship to what you see online of course unless you feel like you're really missing something it's probably a good way to find what you are missing but but overall please don't look at a thing you know somebody posts a relationship thinking it's 100 perfect no arguments everything's like a fairy tale because you know every relationship has its ups and downs but they are just not shared online so

yeah very important to remember well thank you so much everyone for listening to this episode and we should see you thursday for another bonus episode i'm actually very excited for this one um so yeah we shall see you guys then bye guys bye sex size and dm size is a spotify original podcast it was produced by spirit studios