Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 110. Dream Cheating: Should You Be Mad When You Wake Up?

Episode Date: August 28, 2024

In this episode, we’re diving into the fascinating (and sometimes frustrating) world of dream cheating. It’s more common than you think, but can you really be annoyed at your partner for something they did in your dream? We explore whether our subconscious might be trying to tell us something and how those tiny thoughts from the day creep into our dreams. Plus, how do you deal with the lingering anger the next morning? And the importance of writing your dreams down before they slip away. Join us as we unpack the mysterious realm of dream cheating! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit connectsontario.ca. Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of sex lies and dm sides it's thursday which means we are back for another bonus episode so a few months ago now we spoke about dreams and what they mean but we never got into the topic of dream romances and dream cheating. This is a big topic. And I'm actually excited about this because I actually have a story. I can't go too much into it, but, okay, I'm going to quickly just give you my story.

So someone who did me dirty, I was dreaming that they were cheating on me. I was genuinely dreaming it. It's almost like you were pre, like your subconscious knew. I was dreaming that they were cheating on me. I was genuinely dreaming it. It's almost like you were pre, like your subconscious knew. So I think, right, but then this is mad, right?

Because I've also woke up in a foul mood once because I had a dream that I can't like, can't really remember it now, but I remember being in a bad mood because something had happened in my dream that like he had done and it pissed me off. But I also remember being like, Safran, that's not fair. It's your dream.

Like he hasn't actually done anything. Like sweetest, kindest person, not done anything. And so I don't want to be like out here saying it's just subconscious, like it's going to be true. But in my case, it was true. But also like the whole cheat and dream thing is so common because I don't know if you've seen all the tiktoks people are like oh I had a dream my boyfriend cheated on me last night do I speak to him today or not like it's a really

common thing maybe it's just subconscious but also maybe it could be out of fear that people are dreaming it because they don't want it to happen so they've thought about it happening and then like you know your mind does crazy fucking things in your dreams I've had the weirdest dreams and then it's just kind of like put that into play because it's been a thought I don't know but like yeah do you know what I mean like it is crazy but like obviously you can't be annoyed with them if they've cheated in their dream if in your dream it's not real life but also I think that would piss me off like I would wake up and I'd be like, how actually dare you?

Yeah. Fuming. Like absolutely fuming. Like I don't want to look at you right now. No, but it does. I remember waking up one day and thinking, like, but would he? And it really did make me doubt.

And I've never doubted him before. Yeah. But then he actually ended up being an absolute arsehole. So, my subconscious was right. I don't know. Yeah,

I don't know if it's partly out of fear. I think. It could be. I think it could be partly out of fear because obviously sometimes we do dream things and they do come true. But a lot of the time, like my dreams are so weird that like there's no possibility of it coming true so like maybe it was more slightly out of fear I don't think I've ever dreamt of like

an actual like my boyfriend cheating on me when I was with him I've definitely had dreams about guys like it's I more often dream about them once I'm not speaking to them anymore or like once I broke like I I dreamt of my situationship that I was in a couple of years ago for so long after and I'd actually wake up in like the foulest mood because I'd be like oh my god why have I dreamt of him again like I'm trying to forget about him and because I've just dreamt about him is now the first thing I'm thinking about in the morning. It's a new day.

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step-by-step study support. Your weekend will thank you. Small steps today means big wins tomorrow with Chegg. Subscribe today. You got this. I wonder if this is anything, so I actually don't dream that often. I really don't. I remember you saying that. Yeah, it's really strange. I mean, apparently you actually dream every night. You actually don't dream that often. I really don't. I remember you saying that. Yeah, it's really strange. I mean, apparently you actually dream every night. You just don't remember it. Yeah.

So, yeah, I don't know. But I, basically, I was actually in a class yesterday. It was a memorization class for actors. So it's a lot to do with acting. However, I learned so much about the brain and it actually blew my mind I have a terrible memory and so I was learning loads of things that like help for memory and obviously it's a lot to do with scripts and stuff so I'm not gonna sit here and bore everyone with it but then I was speaking to my friend who she studied

psychology in school and she learned so much about like the brain and memory and stuff and I feel like this is obvious I'm probably saying something that everyone already knows but she was like look at your brain as like a roadmap she's like the more times you tell it something the more the quicker it's going to get to that road and so I think if you're like doubting that somebody's cheating the quicker it's going to get there that, oh my God, I reckon he's cheating again, right? Because it's, you know. And so therefore, I think the more likely you think it,

the more likely you're going to dream it. Because they say that dreams are things that you were thinking about in the day. Like sometimes when I do dream, they're so random, but they're tiny pieces of things that I've thought about or like mentioned once in the day. And then it's popped up in your dream. And then it's popped up in your dream. I've never popped up in your dream I've never thought about that before but maybe that does happen to me because the thing is like unless I think about my dream first thing in the morning and really tell it to someone I forgot what it is I'll forget like half an hour later

unless it's obviously like a really bad dream but that's so interesting I've never thought about that I feel like I'm gonna subconsciously start thinking about that now yeah and this is sorry this is actually I apologize to everyone but I love random facts so I'm just gonna hit you with a random memory fact which I know this isn't really to do with dreams but I found this absolutely wild so I'm so sorry I'm going off topic after this we'll continue the conversation but my friend was also telling me the friend that obviously studied yeah she was saying there was like a survey done not a survey but there was a um oh like uh i know what you're trying to say it's not a survey because you physically had to go and take the test oh my god what is the word i know it i know what the word is but i don't know what the word everyone

knows what i mean anyway i don't know why the word isn't coming to me today. But basically, she was saying to me, in the country, the people with the best memories are London taxi drivers. So when you go take an exam to be a London taxi driver, you have to take a memory test. If you're an Uber driver,

you don't have to because you don't have to know the roads. You just can obviously just do that on Google Maps. to become a london taxi driver you have to take a memory test and they compared london taxi drivers like they put i don't even know like 10 000 london taxi drivers compared to like normal people and it was like significant like this flight is still whizzing around me it was like absolutely crazy. She did actually tell me the numbers, and I can't remember,

but how different, like, their memory was compared to the average person. And it's because they use it every single day. That honestly. Yeah, and, like, we don't think of, like, our memory as a muscle. Like, it is something you can train. Like, I've always said I have shit memory, I have shit memory, nothing's going to change it. And now I'm learning.

If I use my memory more, I'll actually be able to train the muscle. Because then, she was saying when taxi drivers quit becoming a taxi driver, their memory just goes downhill.

Because they're not using it as much. Yeah. Crazy, right? Oh, bless me. Oh my God. I was going to say, that doesn't actually surprise me about taxi drivers

because, we will go back to the topic now, but because I only learned, really recently, they had to know all the roads off by heart. Yeah. Without Google Maps. And that is baffling.

Because, wild. I cannot get anywhere in London. Like, nowhere. Absolutely crazy. That's why like half the time, you say a random road

and they just know where it is. Yeah. It's literally wild. So like, actually the best people in the country, with memory, are London taxi drivers. What a slave for them. I feel like it's literally wild so actually the best people in the country with memory are London taxi drivers what a slave for them I feel like it's so off topic but it's still kind of to dream in the brain so yeah but you know people are going to walk away with a fact now from this podcast

there you go guys you've learned something but okay back to dreams then when you dreamt about you know somebody cheating on you or whatever and you did you feel angry the next morning and if so how did you deal with that anger I know I didn't feel angry I felt upset and it was making me doubt how I felt um okay I definitely wasn't angry like I don't know if he did something to really piss me off in my life, yeah, there was one time I woke up and I was, I can't even remember

the situation, but it wasn't AG and it was something like annoying. Whereas this, I remember just waking up and like feeling so upset and thinking,

surely not. More upset than angry. But like just being sad. Yeah. I know, I ended up telling him and he was like, that's ridiculous.

Like, you can't, that's ridiculous and also, you can't be upset at me it's a fucking dream anyways it ended up being true but we won't talk about it okay well

no not really but on a positive have you ever had a romantic dream about a celebrity crush? I must have I haven't had loads but like I've definitely had some very wild,

sexy sort of dreams before. Have you? Yeah, it always only seems to happen to me after I've watched a film that's quite frisky. Raunchy. I don't know. Yeah, raunchy. I know after I watched 365 Days that night,

I had a very interesting dream because I remember that. Really? So you've had sex in your dream? Yeah. I've had sex dreams before. Not loads of them. Wow. But I've had a couple.

I kind of want a sex dream. I don't even think I've actually ever had one. It was a lot. I remember waking up, but I was like, oh, wow. Thinking, I'd love to experience that in real life I'm sad that was in my dream how did it make you feel when you woke up I actually well I felt happy for once nobody was cheating on me instead I was pleasured all night babe it was amazing like but I do like I know a couple of people who have had like very vivid sex dreams and I don't know if I ever have it's maybe

just think about it before you go to bed or like subconsciously chuck it into your thoughts in the day and then see what happens when you wake up this morning i'll be doing something normal i'll be thinking right stuff quickly just think about sex yeah just one second just a pop of sex in your mind then it can go again and then i remember when i was younger i used to um like with my celebrity crushes and stuff i used to pray that I would dream about them. So I used to think, really, really, really, really hope I dream about this person tonight. I would want to go to bed. Damon from the Vampire Diaries,

the way that I loved that man, I would pray to dream about him every night. Damon. And I did. He was the literal love of my life. Damon was just a bad boy vampire though. I was obsessed with him. As the world's population grows,

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Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special. Everyone's got to let us know, Damon or Stefan. Most of my friends are Stefan, and I'm like, how? Because the way that Damon, I know Stefan would as well, because the way that Damon I know Stefan would as well but the way that Damon would do anything for that girl I switched up halfway through the season because I definitely began as a Stefan girl

and then I preferred Damon's like bad boy vibe like energy and then I switched oh I love I'd love to re-watch the Empire Diaries actually I've re-watched it about three times and I'll watch it again they was actually in London like two days ago. Damon and Stefan? Yeah like everyone

I know was going to their like meet and greet and stuff. Oh my god the way I would die if I saw them in real life. But anyway yeah I'd love to have a dream about him. I can't remember like anyone specific that I've had a dream about though. Like I know that when I've had sex dreams in my dream I know who they are but they don't look like that person, if that makes sense. That's happened to me so many times. It's weird because it makes sense in your dream. Makes sense.

And I've woken up and I'm like, oh, but I know that was that person, but they did not look like that. And it's so weird. Yeah. Oh, I actually want you to have one of these dreams so you can experience it. I need...

Do you know what, guys? I feel like it's going to happen tonight. It might. I'm talking about like I've had loads. I need to train my muscle memory because my memory's so bad. I wake up and I forget my dream. I do as well.

And isn't it weird? I don't know if you get this, but a lot of the time I wake up and I'm like, that dream was wild. I've got to tell like my mum. An hour goes by and I've completely forgot it. You need to... Oh my God, I'm getting really bad deja vu. I think we've said this before. You completely forgot it you you need to I oh my god I'm getting really bad deja vu I think we've said this before you have you said you need to write it down yeah

you need to text me as soon as you wake up or text somebody the dream why is that because like if something happened the day before and my memory isn't great but I'm not forgetting it but why am I forgetting my dream because I remembered it when I woke up should I quickly google to end this podcast why do we forget our dreams so quickly why do we forget dreams so quickly top search yeah because it is actually really strange when uh during REM sleep the brain's activity increases and people tend to dream the most however the areas of the brain that transfer memories into long-term storage are relatively deactivated during this time. Wow. So, but, oh, short-term memory areas are active.

They only hold on to memories for about 30 seconds. No way. Which is why for the immediate 30 seconds when you wake up, if your boyfriend's cheating on you in a dream, you're going to feel fucking angry. But then 30 seconds later, you're going to be fine. But that's so weird that our brain does that like our brain crazy like that it's actually mental how our brain works scary it is

very scary wow okay so next time if you have a dream like one of these amazing sexy sort of dreams please i will write it down the second i wake up immediate notes page open and it probably wouldn't make sense I could be like Anna sex dream yeah just Anna sex dream and then I'll say to you what's it about

and you'll be like oh my god I don't remember but you probably will remember it though because I can remember those ones because I've told so many people I can remember them

okay and if anyone has any wild sex dreams let us know yes please let us know because that would be so fun to react to people's dreams

or like if anybody has any stories react to people's dreams or like, if anybody has any stories similar to Saf's where there's like preempted situations that have happened in their dreams, please also let us know

because we can also sit and react to those. actually do. Even if it's not about relationships because, yeah, just in general. When we were in Ibiza,

I met someone who said they had dreamt that they had met me in Ocean Beach and this was before they had even gone to Ibiza and then they had met me at Ocean Beach and I was like right when you go to bed tonight you want to dream that like i have a house in la and like you can also have a house in la but if you could just

dream it and make it happen that'd be great because their dreams are powerful so if they dream it clearly well thank you everybody for listening we hope you have enjoyed if you haven't already gone and listened to tuesday's episode go and give it a listen it was a big fat girly catch-up lots of drama lots of tea um and we will see you next tuesday for another episode thanks so much guys bye