Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 7: Monogomy, cheating & selling your panties on the internet with Pete Wicks

Episode Date: November 22, 2022

F*** me, TOWIE babe Pete Wicks sat down with us on this week’s episode and it was high-key such a great chat honestly. We went through A LOT of big topics like what Pete really thinks of monogamy & polyamory, soft launching your relationship on social media and selling your panties online (it happens more often than you think guys!). Honestly his answers had our jaws on the floor. Sex, Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify Original podcast. Produced by Spirit Studios with Raymond Tannor and Kate Willis as the producers and from Spotify the Executive Producer is Rhyanna Coleman. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey guys, I am Anastasia Kingsnorth. And I'm Saffron Barker and welcome to Sex, Lies and DM Slides. So each week we invite guests onto the show to delve into their DMs, to spill the tea, to discuss sex, dating experiences, all of the topics in between, the good, the bad and definitely the ugly. Now, as per usual, no DM is off limits and of course no topic is off limits. And today we were actually joined by Pete Wicks and we spoke commitment and open relationships and I think it's actually really interesting this

uh conversation that we had because I think a lot of people have a different opinion on open relationships and we both have very strong opinions so yes I'm excited for you guys to listen to this podcast and you know give your opinions on this because i feel like it's a it's an interesting conversation to have yeah and i feel like especially 2022 as well it's such a like a big thing open relationship so i'm very excited for this episode and of course we invite you guys to slide into our dms with stories of your own to send us the craziest dm you've ever received or a funny story about your own sex or date in life that you guys want to share. Let's just get straight on into it.

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Oh no, in the media I'm fucking Hugh Hefner. Hugh Hefner's come back and that is me. No, but I am always single. I've only had one girlfriend. I was going to say, have you ever had a proper relationship? One, yeah. How long was that for? 18 months and it was more off than it was on. Okay. I was with her last night with Megan McKenna. That's the only girlfriend I've ever had.

So when you say it was more off than more on, like did you actually break up, get back together or was it just like... Yeah, she dumped me and threw me out every week. Literally every week. Wow. Yeah. Do you think that's put you off relationships?

No, because I deserved it. I was a wanker. Right, okay. To be fair. No you think that's put you off relationships? No, because I deserved it. I was a wanker. Right, okay. To be fair. No, it's not put me off relationships. I've just got a really fairytale idea of what a relationship is. I believe in soulmates. I believe in marriage.

Like the perfect relationship. Yeah. Like I want to find my soulmate. And until I do that, I'm happy on my own. I don't need to be with anyone. I just want to be with someone. And I haven't found anyone that I really want to be with someone and I haven't found anyone that I really want to be with.

So you're not really a relationship person just yet? I am now because I'm old. I quite enjoy being single. But is that more you feel like you have to rather than you want to? No, I just feel like I'm at the time in my life where now is the right time

for me to settle down and find someone. But I will not do that with just anyone. You know when you see all these people especially when you look on like instagram and all that and every week they've got a new fucking boyfriend new girlfriend and all that i just think fuck off i just don't ever want to be that person so when i do actually settle down it will be with the person i expect to spend the rest of my life with right okay to be fair i feel like that's i mean i've had many boyfriends but i've still had that mindset every time i've been in a relationship like I wouldn't be with them unless I literally saw forever well yeah what's the point

of being with someone if you don't see a future yeah like I know so many girls are like oh I know I'm never gonna marry him and I'm like well you just what's the fucking point but then how can you always see a future with everyone that you say do you wear your heart on the sleeve yeah I think that's what you an emotional peach no I'm not she falls in love at first think that's what it is. Are you an emotional peach? No, I'm not like that. She falls in love at first sight. That's what it is. Is that what it is? You love at first sight? No.

Okay, yeah, I do fall in love easily. How many times have you been in love? Welcome to my podcast. Who's wanting to be in here? I don't know because I think when I was younger, I thought I was in love a lot. Now I look back and I wasn't. Okay.

So I don't know. But the type of love you feel when you're 16 though, that that's what i mean that's such a different sort of love yeah it's not so yeah yeah so i don't i don't know what twice how many times have you been in love i don't think i've ever been in love i've never had a boyfriend you've never had a boyfriend no i mean most people will go ah but i like that i just i don't know i've never really found someone that i've wanted to like be with. And I've just enjoyed being single. Yeah, you just like the sex.

I like the single life, I like the sex. Just like the sex and not the commitment. Basically. I'm here for it, babe. I love that. A bit of fun, why not? Exactly. Why fucking not?

See, I'm such a relationship girl that this is just so opposite to me. You know what it is? You're a relationship person, but she has a kink for anybody who lives like 15 hours away so she'll only love you if they live abroad no that's right i happen to fall in love is this why you keep going to america maybe is it no do you know what it yeah every person i've ever been with has been long distance and yeah no it seems to get further and further every time and it's not like oh my god i love the fact they live far away it's really actually fucking annoying but i just it makes it all the sweeter when you actually see them though

yeah i actually i mean maybe that's me trying to see the positive i've never really known any difference so for me like I love when I haven't seen someone in such a long time that I'm so excited to see them and then when you spend time with them it's so special do you like your own space yeah and I also do love my own space too yes like yeah with long-distance relationships that is yeah I mean to be fair I would probably quite like long-distance relationships as well because I'm like I like someone to fuck off now and then do you know what i mean like the thing is though you have to have so much more trust i think a relationship to me a good relationship isn't

a relationship without trust and if you're long distance you have to have that like 10 times more so i think a lot of people would struggle with it but i've just literally never known any difference but don't you think relationships now are just fucked anyway because there's so much temptation everywhere like if you look like back in the day at like fucking parents or grandparents or whatever I've just literally never known any difference. But don't you think relationships now are just fucked anyway because there's so much temptation everywhere. Like if you look back in the day at like fucking parents or grandparents or whatever, they just stuck to that. And they probably still fucked about, you know what I mean? But it was just a lot harder for them to do it.

Whereas now, especially if you're in a long-term relationship, if you think about how many times you go out and how many people are accessible to you, it's so much easier to cheat. Well, social media makes cheating so fucking easy. People don't need dating apps because instagram is the dating app yeah i feel like it's easier to cheat but also i think that says a lot about you as a person because for me oh my god i feel bad it's a really good

start to this isn't it says a lot about you as a person you prick no but i mean like okay i'm off no but i just mean like if you really didn't want to no temptation should make you like i don't think i agree even if someone's like trying everything with me if i'm in love with someone i'm not going to do it because that's my morals so i don't think it matters how much temptation i agree that there is more temptation now but i don't think like it an excuse, if that makes sense. It's definitely not an excuse. I think it's almost, in some ways, I do think it's partly a good thing

because actually if someone's going to cheat, they're going to do it anyway. So it doesn't matter what temptation. It's like you're saying. Do you know what I mean? So it sort of weedles people out quickly. That's why everyone's jumping from relationship to relationship

because there's so much option for other people. And do you know what my favorite thing is? When it gets to like Valentine's Day every year and you see the how long will you love me and all the fucking petals on the rose bed and you think you were shagging her sister last week mate do you know i mean like it makes me laugh because instagram paints and social media paints this idea of what relationship goals are and all that we were saying it earlier about relationships online all the relationships that look perfect on Instagram are not perfect.

Absolutely. But you know a perfect relationship. To be fair, I've seen your mum and dad. And they are, to be fair, they are relationship goals. To be fair, they actually, I would love to be how my parents, their relationship, I think, is so healthy. When I grow up, I want to be your dad.

You know, you've said this so many times to me that it's actually concerning. But I'm just saying, if you want to start calling me daddy i don't mind joke fucking hell um oh no go back on to where you said how you wanted you actually do want to set down a final relationship would you if you found that person be the guy that's on instagram with the rose petals no yeah i don't think so and only because i think if you found that person, be the guy that's on Instagram with the rose petals? No. Yeah, I don't think so. And only because I think if you want to be romantic and you want to show someone you love them, you should do it 365 days of the year,

not just one day of the year where you're fucking... So I don't like Valentine's Day for that reason. I've never had a Valentine's Day. I can't stand Valentine's Day because she's like, if he loves me, he'll do it every day or just any other day. Like, why does he have to do it because it's Valentine's Day? But also I do think if I saw everyone else getting flowers, I'd be like, oh, I still would like some. or just any other day like why does he have to do it because it's valentine's day yeah but also i do think if i saw everyone else getting flowers i'd be like oh i still would like some yeah do

flowers but let's not overdo it and act like a fucking prick for the rest of the year and then one day you go i love you so much babe fuck off dickhead like be that person all year round or don't bother no okay so if you were in a relationship would you post it at all i weirdly enough and it's so weird to say because obviously my my life is i have two separate lives what i mean by that is that um like tvp is very different to me like i don't film my house i don't film my family and a private life is a happy life for me so anything that i give out is what i'm happy for people to to kind of see but everything else is for me so actually relationship wise and what I've learned over the years

is that that is something I'd want to keep for me because that is my real life and that is my person. It's not about, it's not about being a secret. It's about being private. We always say that.

Yeah, there's a good balance. Yeah. Right, yeah. Like, for example, another thing that fucks me off whilst we're on here. Is this just a rant? Sorry.

Okay, totally. I'm just going to start going for it. What am I going to do in the interview next week? That's what we want. When people start seeing someone and you just get the sort of hand in the shot, it's like they call it a soft launch. The soft launch. Oh, my God.

No, we like that. I've only learnt about this the other week. We like it. I love a soft launch. I want a soft launch. Oh, it's just a hand there. Oh, God god whose tattoos could they be

the hand on the leg in the car the tag is my boyfriend not yours how many times have you seen that oh what a fucking

knob if you do that sorry if you love that get a grip you pair of prats fuck me alright we're off then welcome to my podcast no I enjoy

a soft launch okay so Pete you've've been on the only ways i sick since like 2015 yeah fuck me here do you think that's affected your relationships oh yeah massively yeah i um because i have probably one of the worst reputations in the world with women. And a lot of that is my fault, granted, but because obviously I did a reality show where the main part of that was always, I sort of instantly just became this villain. Did you get pushed to do that or was that just you younger? No, I was younger and I was having fun and whatever else and I think at the time, when I started doing like Taoi and all that kind of reality game i never really wanted to do it i had like a a genuine job i've

never watched myself on tv okay so why did you do it so i worked in the city for years i was like a international sales director for a medical recruitment company so i had quite a good job and they put me on two years garden leave because i went to set up on my own and then uh james lock who's like a friend of mine anyway, was on the show. And I said I would go and do one episode basically when they were out filming in Marbella because I was out there. And yeah, I never left.

That was eight years ago. So basically from one episode I ended up me just not fucking leaving. Just because I was working in the city for years, doing 16, 17 17 hour days and and and actually my way of life is so much better but i regret doing it i wish i'd never done it do you think you just got very caught up in that lifestyle i wish i was never in this industry whatsoever do you know what's crazy is when i've been with you i get more people ask me what you're like in real life than anyone else they're like is he nice or is he actually is

he a dickhead that's what i get all the time and i'm like he genuinely is the nicest guy i've ever met do you know what like it's it's kind of over the years it's become just a running joke that i am even like last night i do think deep down people know that you're actually such a nice guy i think people can see through the like the character now do you know what it is is i don't give a shit if if donna in don castle or barry in newcastle thinks i'm a wanker because they never met me if if i left here today and you went god he's a fucking knob i'd be i'd be upset by that do you know i mean like i don't it doesn't i'm quite thick skinned and it doesn't really bother me anymore but i think

i almost feel like i've become like a pantomime villain over the years. And now there's nothing I can do that will change that. I mean, even last night, we was at an event last night. And if you look at the press today, it's too weird. So it looks like last night I left with two different women at two different times because the press were just anyone I've stood next to. That's it. My mum's been my mystery woman on a night out. You are joking.

Swear to God, I took her to an event outside and I was having a cigarette. My mum was with me. My mum is a little five foot two bit. She's quite obviously a mother. What? Like,

why doesn't media ever like do any background checks? They want a story. They just run with anything. The story last night was that I was leaving somewhere with someone.

We were walking back in. That's the maddest thing. I can confirm I was there last night and you wasn't with anyone no and but this is the funniest thing and like but but now it just gets the point where you think so what makes it hard now is for me dating is that if i ever am actually dating someone i have to i only go the same places and i go in back doors and i have to leave separately

arrive which is really awkward when you if you're seeing someone you have to go right okay babe you're gonna have to go before me is that one of the main reasons then why you wish you never did tv because how it's affected your dating life um no no no that's not one of the main reasons for me it's just because i um i feel like i lack any credibility i'm like i feel like i'm just a joke really and actually aside from all that i'm not quite as because i look and i have other things but nobody knows about any of that sort of stuff you know i mean you just become the guy that just kind of goes out and drinks and you know gets with birds and and that's it i swear to god if i go on holiday somewhere and uh because i'm quite chatty so i'll speak to anyone so if i go away and you meet people

at the bar and whatever and they go what do you do i tell everyone i'm an electrician because it's so much easier because how do i explain what do you do but yeah but when someone says to us what do you do youtuber what's that but that well listen that's what everyone wants to fucking be that's a real job you paid the way for people to have it no one wants to go well you tell you what i am i'm a dickhead on telly do you know what i mean like that's not a job um so yeah so i'm just an electrician and it's really awkward when you meet someone who then goes oh me too and then they're and i, I've got no idea what you're talking about, mate. Oh God,

I've got to go. I've got to fucking time. Okay. So another show you've done is Celebs Go Dating and you've done it twice. No, babe. I've just done it for the third time. Yeah,

just finished filming last week. It's the fact that I was meant to be on that series. What, this time? Yes. Oh, I didn't know i'm so gutted i know and you've told me so many actually good things about this show i would love to do it but the reason that i um have done it something is because paul and anna are genuinely

and tom are my good friends but i did it very differently this time around to uh pete the pest who has done it right before i'm intrigued i wasn't i wasn't the i mean basically they call me sexy pete i didn't do sexy pete okay are we taking it very seriously this time we're not seriously babe i mean let's be honest you can't say then if you took someone on the holiday um no i can't i can't okay i can't but when i say seriously it's like same as doing love island you know it's fine love no you're when I say seriously, it's like the same as doing love island. You know, I'm here to find love. No, you're not, dickhead. Shut up.

Listen, it's the same as Slips Go Dating. You're there because actually it's a really fun thing to do. It's called Slips Go Dating, not Slips Find Love. Slips Go Dating has never had one successful relationship other than myself and Sam Thompson. And that's not particularly successful. He just won't fuck off. It's a love-hate relationship. I was thinking, where is he going with this?

He's so confused. No, but that's because it's just because it's a love hate relationship i was thinking where's he going with this no but that's because it's just because it's it's the concept it's like an experiment and it's really interesting thing to watch and you might you might find the love of your life do you go into it taking it seriously whatsoever or do you think it's do you know i've never had a bad day really not and i don't just mean the steps go to i mean in real life ever because anyone you meet has got something you can learn from and something you can have a good time and even if they're not your sort of person you don't fancy them you can still learn something from that person and whether or not you know within seconds whether or not you have an attraction with someone but actually even if you

don't you can still take something from that do you know what i mean so that's why and i don't understand when people have bad days so it's not about not taking it seriously. It's about just understanding what it is. Okay, so let's talk about commitment and open relationships. Oh, ta-da. Commitment. Woo! This is not really my time to go. I was going to say, my first question is,

do you think you're committed when you're in a relationship? Because I don't have a lot of experience in relationships, and the relationship that i was in i was an arsehole no can i ask have you ever cheated right yes you have so obviously i had one relationship i didn't physically cheat but i messaged a lot of other people and it all got fanned out and printed and and everything else and there was a lot of other people and it all got fanned out and printed and everything else and there was a lot of people as well and if somebody did that to you would you yeah

it's cheating it's cheating and it was it was fucking wrong and that's cheating at least you can like own up to it and admit it though

yeah you're not shy about it because a lot of people that do that wouldn't if you do the crime you do the time and at the end of the day what makes you a good person

or a bad person is is whether or not you can admit mistakes and move on from them. And that's probably a lot of the reason why I've stayed single since is because actually I've not met anyone that I've thought my head might not be turned elsewhere. And actually then that's not the person for me.

Because if your head's going to be turned elsewhere, that ain't the person for you. So actually I'd rather be single and do what i want when i want without hurting anyone yeah until you find that right person until you find the right person and then yeah like for me like i you know i want to be captivated by someone for the rest of my life i still want to be 70 years old and still want to bend them over the kitchen table you know i mean like that's that's where i want to be i mean it might be a struggle because my hips are already a bit weak but you know i'll give it a fucking good go i don't want to imagine

you were 70 years old i mean to be honest with you i don't look fucking far off right now okay so do you believe in monogamy um yes really okay opinions you need to share more on that right i did um i did a podcast um what's the fucking thing? Is it polyamory? Is that what it's called? Yeah, polyamorous relationships. And I think that is bollocks. Genuinely. No, I believe in monogamy. I agree.

Oh, I was going to say there was a cough there, like you dirty bitch. Go on then, get it where you can. No, I fully believe in that. However, I think it's a very rare thing these days monogamy i genuinely i do i think a lot of people so open we were literally talking before this about that fucking app um i can't feel uh field yeah yeah so field is an app where it's literally for open well well it's a fine though it's to find a third person to bring into your relationship

yeah well listen if that one person ain't enough for you then however i i because i believe in soulmates i do believe there is yeah i feel like it's different doing it like a one-off or whatever if it's like one night stand sort of thing compared to actually being in a relationship two people at the same time no if i was in a relationship i wouldn't want to see the person i love with someone else i know i would get too jealous are you a jealous person i actually don't think i am like you just don't want to see your boyfriend bend over another yeah jealous in general jealous in the bedroom that's a bit different like i actually don't think i'm a very jealous person because i'm quite an independent person so like i just i find it strange when people like are panicking that their boyfriends or girlfriends out on a night out i'm

like at the end of the day they're gonna cheat on you they're gonna cheat it doesn't matter what you do but you're there texting like do you know what i mean you'd be jealous if your boyfriend was fucking another girl yes of course i'd be jealous then that's what i mean that's ridiculous no i think i'd be jealous well i don't think i'll be turned on that's my boyfriend now yeah if my boyfriend was fucking someone else i'd hate it um no i yeah listen i couldn't be in love with uh with a woman and then watch someone else fuck her i'm like and listen there's nothing wrong with that if that's your thing but get a grip yeah i i wouldn't like that yeah that personally couldn't ever do it i have a really weird um a lot of people see sex very differently and i think sex

is fucking great like do you know i mean like and obviously everyone does however sex can be sex and it can just be sex and i know people say oh well you know you know that's a guy point of view but it's not sex can just be fucking great time however if i'm in love with someone then sex is very different well feelings are involved yeah exactly it was different if you're if you're just kind of fucking about with all your friends with benefits or whatever else. However, not if it's my person. Yeah. Does that make sense? Completely agree.

Thanks, babe. I feel like you've really got this image of this perfect person. I know. I can tell you're waiting. And when I meet her, she's going to go, not with you, you fucking scruff. You're waiting for like a fairytale relationship. I'm just waiting no i'm do you know what and it's not that i think it's just gonna be perfect because nothing worth having

comes easy it's just i just want someone that gives me that feeling where i go fuck but i want that feeling every day and i don't see why you shouldn't have that and even if they piss you off or whatever it may be and i don't want someone that agrees with me. I want someone that doesn't agree with me. I don't want someone, like, I think it's great

to have a different opinion. Otherwise, how fucking boring would the world be? I just want someone that whatever, I just, I couldn't be,

someone that benefits my life and someone where my life would be worse without them. That's what I want. Wow. I love that. You really know what you want there yeah so

that that's good and we're very single because we're all shitters okay so do you ever what have you heard of what monogamish is hey well yeah me too don't worry my reaction when i saw it as well it's used to refer to relationships that are romantically monogamous, but they allow for agreed upon sexual relationships. Yeah, load of bullets. Yeah, isn't that just like an open relationship? Again, just weird. Basically an open relationship.

I just, I can't understand. I would never understand an open relationship. I think it's really interesting and I love, I actually know people that are in open relationships. I know people who are in them. Yeah, I do. And good for them, but I just can't. To me, it's not a relationship then. I don't think. It's basically someone you know people who are in them and good for them but I just can't to me

it's not a relationship then I don't think it's basically someone you just like to fuck in your free time because there's no relationship and then if you're bored and you want to go on dates

with them you will but you'll also just go do your own thing but I think you can have I just don't maybe it's because my view is that there is a soulmate

so maybe that's not everyone's view and that doesn't make me right or wrong do you think you there is a soulmate. So maybe that's not everyone's view. And that doesn't make me right or wrong. Do you think you only have one soulmate? Because I think everyone has multiple soulmates. So do I, 100%. However, I think you have one romantic soulmate. Yeah, some are in like friend form.

Oh, really? No. My mum was my soulmate, but I didn't fuck her. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, to be fair though, I took the teeth out. No, no, I joke. I joke. My name didn't suck me off for fuck's sake.

God. Oh, cancelled. No, but like you can have loads of different songs, but I do genuinely believe that there is a romantic. For example, my mum and dad are divorced and they were married 22 years and they divorced years ago but and hopefully my stepdad doesn't this but i do believe they will they were they were soulmates and you can love again and whatever else but i do believe there is there is a person

and it doesn't always work out because you still have to try for things just because you find a soulmate doesn't mean that that that's it it's fucking easy however i do think there's that person you know when they say the one that got away or whatever it may be it doesn't always work but i do think there is someone you're equal somewhere and you might not meet them you might meet them you might fuck them off you might fuck it up you might do whatever but that doesn't mean it's not your person it just means you didn't fucking try it enough right okay however you can have soulmates in different ways not not that they've been my soulmate but i know that i've loved other people like different people like more than one person

yeah you can you can love more than one yeah but that doesn't mean that they're all your fucking soulmate no yeah because look where i am yeah exactly but but also you can love people in different ways there's a difference yeah that's between loving someone and loving who they are and what they're about and and i love you too i'm in love yeah and i think there's two different things and i think it's really easy to confuse them both really really easy because you can feel like you're in love at the time yeah but then when you look back on it and you think because even you said you had like two serious boyfriends do you feel like you loved one more than the other you ain't gonna mention them i don't names or addresses but do you know

what i mean like is there one that because you can love them both i don't know i don't actually know who had the bigger dick but no i i feel like you you can love people but i do think you're in love yeah it's a different thing yeah oh 100 because there's so many times like when anna says like for me immediately oh my god she falls in love with someone it's only because i don't and it's from what going on your podcast you know we had the whole conversation about basically pete and i had this conversation i don't go on dates and anna knows this i don't go on dates she doesn't do anything because why she keeps turning me down fucking nightmare what are you up to later fucking you fuck off bitch um no the reason is is because i have to like really really really like someone

to want to go on a date with them like i can't be bothered like i just so i think that's why everyone automatically thinks oh god saffron's falling for another guy again because if i'm speaking to them it's like them and no one else i can't be bothered surely you have to go on a date with them to see if you're gonna like them or not yeah but like but that's why i become like not obsessed i may sound like no you do no but you'll go on a date with someone and you are in love with them straight away no i speak to them for ages and then i'll date and then what fuck that what do you speak about have you not been on a date with them i've barely been on any day yeah but so how many people then have you sort of spoke to and then fucked off because they've not been great enough i've a message on any day yeah but so how many people then have you sort of spoke to and then fucked off because they're not been great enough over the message you do that all the

time i'm not even a text i'm a facetimer so i'm still speaking to them no but it's not the same because i don't care what you do nothing is the same so have you ever heard of um so like body language and touch and all that i agree right that makes a massive difference how many times have you spoke to someone on facetime or fucking messages or fucking phone or whatever else and you thought, great, and then you've met them and you thought, yeah, nah, fuck that. No, no, no, I agree.

But also because I actually have such a busy lifestyle, I know I'm not going to see them 24-7. You're not too busy for the dick, Saffron. All right? No one is too busy for the dick. Well, you never know, independent woman. Oh, my girl. I like that. Age gaps in relationships.

Love you. Okay, younger, older. What do you like? Do you know what? The age thing is a bit of a weird one because when I was younger, I used to love, I used to have a thing for older women. How old? How old?

I used to have a thing for older women older women 40 plus okay 50 plus no no let's fucking calm down i was gonna say not what you're into no no you never know a couple of times i'm in good shape um but actually age listen i think it comes down to the person i was a very for example how old are you 22 how old are you 22 right okay so i would never think you're both 20 like well i'm 34 i'm 12 years older but we'll get on do you know i mean it's not about an age thing like don't get me wrong like obviously if you're fucking 60 and someone's fucking 20 there's something weird going on there because why the fuck do you know i mean it just there's so much more life experience than everything else but i think for me it's more

about the person some people are very different at the age 22 to what some people are at 35 to whatever it is so if it works for you then fuck what everyone else thinks the problem that that in society is that everyone has to have an opinion on everything i think that that makes it difficult for people but actually fuck it if you're happy and you fucking love the person who gives a shit do you know what I mean I personally believe

that age is just a number because I agree with you like some of my bestest friends are so different to me at the age of 20 as I was at 20 like because we all have different career

and paths but have you got friends that are old enough yeah so many friends are old yeah exactly like I've got friends that are like fucking 19, 20 like some of my boys

yeah and then I've got mates that are like fucking 19, 20 like some of my boys yeah and then I've got mates that are like fucking 50 so how can we get on then you know it's too big a fucking age the only thing I would

say though is I've always been like age is just a number and for now I feel like that's so fine but I know a lot of like a few of my friends who are like

way older than me have like dated guys that are like 20 years plus older than them but then when they that are like 20 years plus older than them but then when they get older that's when they reach different like parts of life and so that's the only thing that i think i would like doubt but also i'm very much personally i'm somebody that just lives in the moment so i'd still go for it yeah but that's the only thing

that would like worry me and i completely agree with that but i feel like if you're with someone then surely that's a conversation where are you if you're both on the same page because that's got to be where a relationship might be now is different in five years if they're so much older then what makes a relationship for me is core values and foundations so when you've got that sort of stuff and surely when you when you have that and then you look to making something serious with someone you do have to discuss so where do you want to be in five two do you want kids do you want this do you want like you have to have them conversations and then actually if you just kind of wait and then suddenly 20 years down the line you go oh shit

well it'll be dead soon and i want to have a kid like do you know i mean you've had a long time to discuss that fucking situation if you are serious with something you have to look at planning for the future and i think as long as everyone is on the same page and knows what everyone wants it's a choice for everyone. And if actually then, because you never know what's going to happen in five, 10 years, your plans change or what you want is very different,

then so be it. But that conversation has to be had regardless. Do you know what I mean? I mean, that's my opinion, but it does obviously make it awkward if there is a huge age gap, like 20 years. I mean, that is always a lot, isn't it? Yeah.

Regardless. I mean, hypothetically, if I was dating a 40-year-old now, awkward if there is a huge age gap like 20 years i mean that is always a lot isn't it yeah regardless i mean hypothetically if i was dating a 40 year old now they've had 20 or 18 years life experience on me you know they might want kids they might want all of this and i'm not ready for that but also like you started working when you were so young yeah and like i still feel like you might have experienced different things though so like yeah maybe being in our industry we've grown up a lot quicker than a lot of but like obviously yeah you know i agree with you oh good it's nice that we all agree oh this is great are we the three best friends anyone could have oh my god okay so the next question is you did say that you've cheated on someone sorry to bring that up but have you ever been sorry i feel really bad i didn't want to talk

about it you're not no i'm joking so say what you want yes i was a wanker no um i was just gonna say have you ever been cheated on no do you think if somebody cheated on you that would affect how you would like go into because i know if i've been cheated on which which in, I kind of have been, if that, oh, it's a very long story. I would say that I probably have, I have been. And I feel like, me personally, it didn't affect

how I was in other relationships. But I know a lot of my friends have been cheated on. It has affected them so much. Like, how they go into other relationships. And therefore, they're way more likely to cheat

now they've been cheated on. Which to me, doesn't make sense. Because, getting it before someone else does. Yeah yeah kind of like that to be honest it's kind of that well we i know they're going to because it's happened before so i'm gonna that wouldn't make me want to cheat that i just give me more trust issues with another person i would be the opposite yeah i'd be like i absolutely can't do it because i'm so hurt like do you know what i mean because i know what that pain is like i know so many people that have been like that i um honestly don't think it would bother me like going into obviously bother me someone cheating on me but i mean like going into

other things because it's the same as if i'm if i'm um dating a girl and she goes out with the girls or whatever else all i want to know is you got home safe you don't have to be on your phone all fucking night if you go out and guys want to buy you drinks take the drinks doesn't bother me in the slightest in the slightest when they say have you got a boyfriend the answer is yeah but other than that I love the fact that people want to be with whoever I'm with like I find that so like flattering and amazing and I will never change who I am when I'm out like you've been out with me before like I'll talk to everyone I'm quite flirty with everyone however if i'm seeing someone and i'm with someone there's a line so for me if regardless of

someone cheated on me that's that's that's their issue that's not to do with me it just means that i think fuck because that wasn't the person for me then you know i mean i genuinely in my head i don't think it would affect how i see relationships because actually look people cheat and and things happen but I see that is a good thing in a lot of ways because actually it makes you it kind of shuts down the the torment of never finding out so if you find that you got cheated on or vice versa fucking good

because you could have wasted a lot of fucking time not knowing yeah yeah you know I mean yeah that's very true it's a good way to look at it thank you darling Thank you, Dolly Chegg's expert-supported learning tools. I say this with love. Put on some lo-fi beats and get going with our step-by-step study support. Your weekend will thank you. Small steps today means big wins tomorrow. With Chegg. Subscribe today.

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Visit rbc.com slash Avion. Can I just say, we've done a lot, a lot of episodes. And I must say, I'm most excited to read your DMs more than anyone else. I'm so intrigued. But I'm not going to do what you think I'm going to do. Which is what? So I'm not going to give you my phone. I'm going to read it,s more than anyone else. I'm so intrigued. Okay, but I'm not going to do what you think I'm going to do. What's that? Which is what? So I'm not going to give you my phone.

I'm going to read it, but I've got some special shit for you. Okay. Right, so listen, you're a very good looking girl. You're a very good looking girl. So imagine your DMs, you get the same fucking shit from guys. Listen, I get fucking tits and fucking this and that, like every fucking bloke with a blue tic does. Boring.

However, I've got some funny ones oh god you're treating us today okay so my favorite thing i get a lot of um so basically my appeal is not younger ladies it is a more mature lady so if it's someone's mother or nan you've got them oh they love it so I'm currently you know my nan listens to this podcast hello darling

what's your nan's name Ivy Ivy tell me when you're ready so basically take it back I take it back, I take it back. 0-7-7-6-7. Right, so I've got...

I'm currently being stalked. Stalked? On Instagram. Right. By a lady who genuinely thinks that we are... I'm going to have to show you this because it's quite funny, right? In fact, no, come and have a look at this.

Maybe this is your... Does she believe you're her soulmate because maybe this is your soulmate so it started he's just not ready to admit it yeah he knows it no no because even this morning right okay so so you see all these right so basically this poor girl um got catfished by a fake account but basically there's hundreds of fake accounts of me on instagram like it's mental so anyway this poor girl got catfished by someone um and it originally started a few weeks ago with hey i've been talking with you i believe um let me know i'm from the united states and my name is whatever um if it's not your account then you've been hacked and this comes up in you know the like the bit that you don't message request yeah that's that's the thing uh she then sent me the

account thing and it's just it's just a fake one um i have sent money um and i've also had documents sent to my house which i have to forward on from this guy blah blah blah is this your email she's been talking to this guy for ages sending pictures of herself this lady it's meant 60 oh you're joking i did want to ask for the pictures just out of interest but i didn't um so anyway so i've not replied to any of these like obviously as you can see okay um but it goes on and on and on but now she's obviously found my account with the fucking tick thing. So now I think in her head, she still thinks that you're going to be me. No, no. But she still thinks that it might be me on the other one. So she's now started just, hey, babe, how are you?

Haven't heard from you in a while. We've never spoken. So I think she now thinks that maybe I just had another account for a little bit and it might still be me oh sure so now um so now just reply to everything we do just non-stop what has she replied to your photos at any point um yeah there's oh there's been comments on the looking good baby all that sort of stuff um hey babe couldn't get through on video chat i'll try again later i don't know who she's calling me i swear to god you can try later um then it just goes on and gone anyway so last night's one or this morning's one we got this was a great one um so obviously we went to an event last night

pride of britain amazing night great night um oh my god peter love your suit sweetheart i'm so glad you went with what I said. What? No, you're joking. So now I just genuinely think she's just making up her head that we're talking. Do you think she's emotional? Oh my God. Or, wait, what kind of suit did you wear? It was like a weird colour.

It was like a brown. Because maybe she actually could. No, it might be a really weird coincidence. Oh my God, it looks like you had such a good time. You'll have to tell me about the event later. When? What? Honestly.

I think she's just a bad guy. I think you're secretly videoing her. Well, I'll be honest with you. There has been a lady in my bushes. That's on my house for a long time. But even to the point where she goes, so I moved house about a year ago. How are you finding the new house? Have you had any work done?

I love the green sofas. Wait, what? So I don't know if she's just gone through and seen there might be a bit of green because I don't really film at my house.

Do you have green sofas? Yeah. She's a stalker. You're being stalked. Oh yeah, it's starting to get, do you know what I mean? It's starting to get,

so I get them sort of ones and then you get the usual just fucking tits and all that sort of crap. Do you get sent a lot of like tit pictures and stuff? Yeah. Really like no context like fancy going these that sort of shit you're joking no you said i didn't realize that i'm not getting dick pics i'm not getting do you want to ride this i'm not getting that well all right i'll tell you what you must get actually

right uh eye emojis or flames get a a lot of that. Yeah, yeah. That's not a dick. No, no, no. No, but that evolves into it. Do you ever reply to that? No. Okay, if a guy was going to send you a DM, in fact, I'm going to show you one more

because this is actually really funny. So apart from all them fucking boring ones and you do get people who just like, you know, I want to ride you like a fucking steam train, like all that sort of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they comment on just all that crap. This is one of my favourites, though.

So these are, and I don't want to be rude here. However, these are the sort of people that reply to my DMs and everyone must think, oh, you know, you must get loads of birds in your DMs and all that sort of stuff. No, I get loads of birds of nans in the DMs. So they comment on pictures like this, right? I love Pete. I like his dry sense of humor plus he's really fit a bit too short for me that is someone's auntie all right imagine that's your

auntie all right and when i say and genuinely people of a certain age they are some of the filthiest right genuinely the filthiest maybe you Maybe it's because they've not had it for a while. Yeah, but I say maybe because, you know, they've been single for a long time. Yeah, so you get a lot of that. And then the usual stuff. I mean, you keep saying age is not a number, so. No, absolutely.

You secretly love that stalker. Well, listen, all I'm saying is when they take the dentures out, it's a great blowjob. Oh, dear. It's like a quad cart. And then you get the usual ones. What I need in my life right now, this is a good one.

What I need in my life right now is someone like you, flirty and fun, to take me out and give me a good time. Bet you've got a huge cock. They're some of my favourites. Do you ever reply to these um yeah i normally i sent a dick pic back and she just she blocked me um no she put button mushroom first and i just didn't understand it uh no not

really but yeah you just get all the same shit but i get some weird weird ones oh my favorite one over the years was mr sniffer wow oh he my favourite one over the years was Mr. Sniffer. What? Oh, he was my favourite over the years. Just spent months and months talking three, four messages a day, comments on pictures a day, asking for used pants that you could smell of mine. People have such a kink for that.

Yeah. They do. Oh, absolutely loved it. Some girl used to sell her farts in jars. Yeah, do you know what she's doing now? She's now doing tit sweat. Tit sweat? such a kink for that yeah they do oh absolutely some girl used to sell her farts in jars yeah do you know what she's doing now she's now doing tit sweat tit sweat yeah yeah it's too pricey for me but it sounds good oh that is just bizarre to me i find that personally listen actually right one of my one of my good friends boyfriend was out the other day no no no boyfriend was out the other day no no boyfriend was out the other day and he just like pulls out pulls out her underwear and starts sniffing it and then just puts it back in his pocket

and i looked at her and i was like you're joking he carried her underwear in his pocket he carries he carries her underwear in his pocket and he sniffed it and i don't actually think it was a joke and are you still friends yeah I'm still friends with her. Okay. I think I avoid him. Yeah, double date. That's weird, right? She made it out as if like,

it was weird that I thought it was weird. But what she didn't tell you is that she had these fucking wire fronts in her pocket. Well, maybe so. Listen, whatever floats your boat, everyone's got their own little thing. Have you got fetishes? Oh God, it's my turn now. Okay, have you got any fetishes?

You got a little fetish? I don't ever have a fetish. Come on, you dirty bitch. I think my kinks and stuff are quite normal. Yeah? Yeah, I've been minor. Yeah, you fucking plan it safe, you two. I know it's your podcast, but give me some fucking tea.

No, I don't think I have like any I don't know let me just think about it I don't know I've just had a new house and it's got a sex dungeon but I don't know

if they have a sex dungeon though if they have a sex dungeon yeah you there for that chains and whips and shit yeah why not yeah I know you's a filthy fuck fuck it why not are you not I don't think i um yeah for another time and after this i'm gonna tell

you some fucking stories i can't i can't i genuinely can't do this but i'm gonna tell you some fucking weird stories that you're gonna die at okay love that i'm looking forward to it i'm looking forward to it i'm actually not not answering for any reason i don't actually have any weird like i'm not carrying around boxes. No, I'm not giving someone my nipples. I'll be honest with you. I saw you at the door and you had a big box and you were apparently dressed for the other night.

You never know. It was vibrating. That's all I'm saying. No, do you know what? This is another thing about sex, right? So this is another one of my pet hoes. And every guy's done it, and I'm sure it's probably probably different for girls but it's when

god oh yeah you should have seen me last night i was like fucking stallion two hours did this listen good sex is not four hours worth of fucking around right you can have good sex in fucking three minutes if it's in the both on the same page you know that kind of quickie thing before you go out good sex is whether you're both on the same page you ain't gonna throw someone around like a fucking rag doll to have good sex if you're both on the same page that's what good sex is doesn't matter where it is what it's doing and that's why sometimes you know you get that fucking feeling and people say well i like it in public i like this it just matters if you're in that fucking mood at the time and one of my pet hates is when you get people who

sit there um and it's it's mainly a guy thing and i don't talk about you know if i'm dating someone or seeing someone i don't sit and go with the boys oh fucking shit but i think that's if you really like someone as well not even just that respectful thing as well i'm quite a sexual yeah i'm quite a sexual person i take the piss and whatever else but i would never specifically talk about someone just because that it is disrespectful i do think it's disrespectful um but the amount of guys that i know you should have said i can see nice now i'm doing this and i'm doing that and i just think shut the fuck up because i guarantee you come in 30 seconds you silly prick and also

it's just not nice like i hate it when people talk about sex like it's a fucking um it's a private thing like i'm a very sexual person i'm like i you know i take the piss but not specifically to do with someone. Cause I do think that's disrespectful. But the way people talk about sex always makes me laugh because everyone thinks they're a fucking demon when it comes to fucking. Everyone does. And how many, right.

And this is another question for you. So how many times, you've done a bit of sexting and that before. Yeah. Okay. So how many, before you've slept with someone so how many times have you been disappointed as fuck because the words are fucking great but then you actually get down

to it and matey boy don't know his ass from his elbow he certainly don't know your ass from his elbow well yeah it's just all talk isn't it it is all talk does that not annoy you? listen lads and ladies and everyone if you can't fucking back it don't say it it's one of my pet hates which is why i say nothing right so you've

never sexed anyone oh fuck yeah i love it one of my favorites i love it but you follow through with it listen if you're not gonna fucking do it don't say it yeah yeah no that is actually genuine i actually agree with that how many times that happened you think fuck this is gonna be amazing it's gonna be amazing because the build-up is the best part because you've got all the tension no the build-up is only the best part when the actual fucking deed is shit because the build-up is fucking great but imagine you actually get what the build-up is then the build-up is not the best gift I feel like from a girl's point of view it's different we were having this

conversation earlier then you ain't been such right no no no I think the build-up for a girl is so different to a guy I don't

because I love the build-up I love the build-up and like it's possibly like one of my favourite things is the build-up to something and a lot of

and this is going to sound really bad so I've got a really bad reputation and like i said earlier on i thought you know i love sex everyone you know likes it and when i was younger it was very different i don't i don't sleep with a lot of people these days like genuinely because um and it's always nice to have the build up and all the other stuff, but a lot of the time I would rather go and have a wank because you haven't got to get rid of your hand in the morning. It's not that for you.

If there's nothing else there, then it becomes complicated. And I think when I was younger, it was very different. I think, and that's why he's different for guys because I think when you're younger, you do sort of like, sounds terrible, but you do play a bit of a numbers game. Do you know what I mean?

Like that's kind of what you do when you're younger, but actually you never, there's no point doing that. If there's not actually a real thing that, do you know what I mean? You know, where guys go out and specifically to find a girl or nick a girl or whatever else. I've never really been that guy.

And especially not now as i'm older because actually that's not the important part of going out you know guys and you'll have friends that are guys who will go out and they will just they have to go home with someone yeah and even if they don't really fancy them but they'll go home and sleep with them anyway it's a lot of culture yeah nowadays annoyingly and you know what i get it like when i was young when i say younger i mean like when i was like 21 22 that was kind of the thing. I don't do that anymore because I would rather go home on my own than go home with someone

that I don't really want to fuck. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like I don't get how people do, I don't get how I used to do it and I don't get how people still fucking do that. And I've got mates that do it and you're literally like,

you know, I get to three in the morning, they're like right okay seven o'clock and I think for what go and have a wait

get up in the morning and have a nice breakfast I also know so many guys as well that I think this is kind of a little bit off topic but I know so many guys

as well that literally just have all the girls names that they've slept with in their phone and I just think that's so gross have you ever had a list of the girls you've slept

with on your phone oh no never yeah so from a boys point of view you've slept with on your phone? Oh, no. Never. Yeah, so from a boy's point of view, you even think that's weird. Yeah. I just think, really?

But all that's doing, you're just massaging your own ego there. Yeah. And it's for other people. It's for the guys. But also, if you're talking about having a list as well,

you're a knob. Yeah. You nearly said a really bad word there. Agreed. Agreed. Agreed. Agreed.

Agreed. Agreed. Agreed. Agreed. Agreed. knob yeah you said a really bad word then right okay so um we have also asked our listeners a bunch of questions um to sending their stories about open relationships so we could all give our opinions on them oh god here we go here we go i actually haven't seen these so this is the first time i'm seeing this i'm actually very excited so obviously saffron you came on i had a like a podcast called the dating show for for a long time you know saffron

was a guest on so advice is my you know thing okay um no one ever took it because uh why would you take advice from a fucking car crash but it's my favorite thing oh i did you know i genuinely my friends i'm very good at giving advice but i'm terrible yeah but i do feel like that's most people i'm great at giving advice but i'm always gonna take it yeah okay can i get some advice from you why is my life a car crash uh how long you got okay so the first one says i'm so used to waiting like six months before i'm somebody's girlfriend is that normal oh fuck me i think six months is a while yeah well the last guy you were speaking to anna how long was she speaking to i was in talking stage for seven months to be fair though he didn't even tell me he liked me hold on when you say you're in

the talk he didn't tell you like to were you fucking yeah okay so you were doing all that just yeah yeah okay so you were basically seeing so this is genuinely you can answer this for me then because i need this advice okay so do people still ask people to be their girlfriend and boyfriend? Yes. Oh my God. Yes. Do they? Absolutely. If you don't ask me, then you're, no.

Were you not good? Like, were you not planning on asking? To be fair, I don't think everyone does, but for me personally, they have to ask me. Really? I get that sometimes the feeling is just a given and you feel like, okay, like you're together, whatever. But I feel like it's still so nice for the girl to be asked oh i just thought that you fucking anyone else no you no sweet is it no because how do you know when like i thought

social media was taking a bit stupid like there's like the talking stage and there's this and there's that but like to actually ask someone to be their girlfriend i feel like is important all right so and and how quickly does that happen that happen? What is the quickest that you have been someone's girlfriend? Oh, well, I've been single all my life, so not a question for me. Question for you. Great. I don't know.

I actually don't know. The last guy that I was speaking to, I was also speaking to for like, what, was it like the same amount of time? It was about like seven months, but he also lived in America. So that's why I was speaking to him for so long. I think if somebody was in the UK...

Was he American? Yeah. And I feel like dating is different in different countries. There's different rules. Because I've dated people from different countries and different backgrounds. And the rules are very different depending on what country you live in.

Yeah, definitely. It is really different as well. I can fully vouch for that but yeah i think i was speaking to him for like seven months i think if it was somebody in the uk i don't think i would i think if it got to seven months and they still hadn't asked me to be their girlfriend i'd be like seven months is too long i'd be like what the fuck what do they want like what do they want with me then so in that seven months was it seven months you said about seven months so about seven months in that time then he didn't ask you for your girlfriend

how did that end or is it still going no no it ended he slept with his best friend and cheated on me well he didn't cheat on you because you went together well because you were exclusive

oh you're exclusive which is what I mean with these silly sages personally I don't like the whole exclusive thing I think talking seeing relationship

but what's seeing like dating like dating like proper dating courting courting god i'm old yeah you've not heard that before i've never heard the word go and ask ivy about what it's like when you caught someone because i'd be darling you know what courting is this is this is what my nana was used to say to me is if you courting someone and i'd be like well i mean i'm fucking someone then is that and she'd go good sex not me it's different but courting is this basically dating it's when you're taking someone out and you're you're doing going through that whole stage where you're not doing the whole chilling at home crap that everyone just seems to want to do i feel like dates are really great i

love going on dates i completely agree it's so nice to actually go out and and and make a fuss of someone do you know i mean that that's the whole that's the nicest part of of fucking dating is doing all that all this fucking netflix and chill shit do you know i mean like you might as well just put you want to come fuck like it's a pointless thing i don't want to chill with someone until i've got to know them but i want to go out and do nice things with people. And that's caught him basically. So it's dating someone. Yeah.

That's just basically. Short and sweet. No, I actually do find the whole, I know everyone does the whole exclusive thing. I think if somebody said to me, do you want to be exclusive? Isn't that just with someone?

Or just ask me to be your girlfriend, basically. This is what I mean. It's like, what? So you don't want me to have anyone else, but you also don't want me to be your girlfriend. what like for me i personally think that's weird i not weird because i know that's like the common thing it's like the social norm it's like the social

norm now but i've never been in a relationship where i've been asked to be exclusive and i personally i think i'd be really confused by it at what point do you have a soft launch to a hard launch in that whole experience? Is the soft launch when you soft launch a boyfriend or is that when you soft launch someone you're dating? I think you were not dating. We don't launch any dates. No, God, no. No launching of the dates. No.

Well, actually, that's kind of a lie. Because a lot of people do do that. I have shared people before they've been my well not shared them in the sense of i'm tagging them but like yeah i posted like a restaurant or whatever but that's also partly because for me i know that and i'm speaking for both of us here where we do youtube we literally share our life online just like how you do tv share your life online so for me naturally everyone knows I'm out for dinner with someone. So it becomes such a lie.

But I think it depends on the person. Girls, do guys soft launch their girls? I don't know. I don't think so. Have you ever been a soft launch? I've never been a soft launch. I think it's more of a girl thing. I've never been a soft launch. Right. Maybe that's why you don't like it. But I've never been i think it's more of a girl thing i've never been a soft launch

right maybe that's why you don't like it but i've got a theory about it because it's so fucking obvious it's me you can't really hide you can't do you know i mean you can't really soft launch me because everyone will go set wanker off the telly you can't know do you know i mean like like it's a very hard thing to do and do you ever guess the soft launchers you know if it's your friends or people you sort of know well you stalk

you stalk do you yeah everyone's nosy at the end of the day you want to find out who it is so you go and find out

do you of course you nosy little fuck of course do you do that as well well like if I'm actually intrigued by the person yeah you care

I want to find out who it is. God. I'm one of the girls. This is great. Okay, interesting. So what was the question? I don't even know. Oh, six months.

Is it normal? I think six months is... I think six months max. Absolute max. If it's getting longer than that, they don't want you to be their girlfriend. No, like maximum

I feel like oh fuck off I feel like four months would be like the limit for me do you yeah after a previous experience

fucking said seven months over there yeah is that what it is now I've got a limit it's four months if you ain't fucking with me fuck off

no but I actually do think like if it gets past yeah even 40 if you know you know so you like well that's it like if it gets to six months and they're still not asking you to be their girlfriend and you're seeing them constantly you're going on dates with them you sleep with them etc etc what what do they like i don't i don't understand i don't understand what they want from you well not a relationship waste of time maybe they're just waiting for anal maybe and then they decide I mean it's a deal breaker

are you choosing your favourite? yeah I've got one I've been in a situation ship for 6 years and it's not gone anywhere oh shit well I think I know the answer to this one is that the end of it? any advice?

She wants advice. Problem with situationships and the problem with, you know, this friends with benefits shit, which is technically what situationship is in my head, is basically someone that, especially over six years, you obviously know him well, you're obviously getting really well with him and you're just kind of sleeping together and there's nothing else really going on there.

That is a very hard thing to stop. And it always is when you have them sort of things, situationships because i've been in a few um because you you don't want to lose that person but your relationship is fucked from that point you can't have a normal relationship without having a break from that does that make sense but because someone's been in your your life for six years how fucking hard is that to then's been in your your life for six years how fucking hard is that to then wipe someone out of your life for six years even if you've not been with them in a relationship that's someone you've had in your life for six years it's not that easy just to fuck them off you know i mean as much as i'm sitting there going well

what you're doing get a grip it's not that easy to do however you ain't getting what you want so fuck it off you're pathetic yeah i think the Yeah, I think the person who has asked for advice is more attached than the other person. Yeah, of course, yeah. And I think the other person probably thinks like some people do, that they'll always be there. And the problem is,

is that when people take you for granted like that, you end up being a soft touch and there's no way out for you, especially over that amount of time. You can't then suddenly go, well, should we just stop sleeping together and just be pals then? Because you won't be able to do that because there are other feelings there that are more intimate.

So you have to just fuck it off completely. And it doesn't mean that you can't be friends again in the future or whatever else. I'm friends with exes and whatever else where we've had a big break and not spoken because that whole blurred line shit is fucking gone at that point and then if you do really get on with someone you can be fucking friends again you can be friends with exes 100 however you can't just go from splitting up with someone or stopping seeing

someone or coming out of a situation ship and then just go but we'll be friends and carry on like normal because that intimate feelings you can't you can't get rid of that so fuck it off completely fuck it off and then revisit it in a year's time and just be pals because you can't you can't get rid of that so fuck it off completely fuck it off and then revisit it in a year's time and just be pals because you ain't gonna get what you want job done so i'll see you next week i mean yeah do you know what i mean i i yeah i agree you said a bit more bluntly than i would but i agree oh well there's no point no point no no it is it is six years is a long time coming as well. That's a long time.

That's too long. Like, if it's not working in six years, it's like, the reality is it's really sad and I feel sorry for this person, but it's never going to work. Yeah, 100%. But also, you can't always feel sorry for people because they've put themselves in a position where it's going to be six years,

which has made it harder for you. And that's why you have to be fucking hard with yourself sometimes. You have to be hard with yourself and you have to be hard with the other person and the other person well you know i thought it was all going great it's game over stop fucking about come find what you're worth know your worth come find it as i was about to say you should know your worth worth more than that yeah know your worth go find it okay so

what's the one piece of advice that you'd give to our listeners after today's episode don't take any of my advice that's probably the best advice no you actually do have good advice i think you have such good advice you're straight to the point yeah what's the best piece of advice um in all seriousness too many people um and this is going to sound like one of the really cheesy things but it's something um i lost my nan this year and it's saying that um she always used to say to me and and and and that is you haven't got anything in life nothing don't worry about money success whatever if you haven't got peace of mind so whatever you're doing laughing whatever you're chasing find peace of mind that's the only bit of us because without that you ain't got fuck

all oh it's really cute and that's a good way to end the podcast yeah that's a really good love that and also don't take any of my advice because I'm a fucking prat. Sex Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify original podcast produced by Spirit Studios with Raymond Tanner and Kate Willis as the producers and from Spotify, the executive producer is Rhianna Coleman.