Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 72. Your Dilemmas - Can You REALLY Love Two People At Once?

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

It’s that time again, we help answer your big dating dilemmas. Can an open relationship REALLY work? Can you love two people at the same time? We also discuss what to do when your partner likes another girls thirst traps on Instagram, and whether you should end a relationship if you haven’t had sex for SEVEN years. As always, dilemmas have been kept completely anonymous and this is just our take on these, we are not experts! xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

let's go hi everyone and welcome back to sex lies and dm slides we are back for another bonus episode i am very excited guys my voice is still not quite slaying today she will be back next week with a fully working voice i do apologize um but like saf said it's fine it just feels like you've got someone new to listen to that is true it might sound a bit like huskier a bit sexier you know I mean she's just really not slaying today I cannot wait to get back into bed see I don't really love my voice when I have a cold like I love like the deep like sexiness same but also because I can hear it so clear in my earphones it's driving me insane yeah and it could either sound really sexy or nice or it could sound just like you smoked 50 packets literally which can confirm i have not done so loving the laryngitis

but like staff said we are back for a bonus episode it is thursday and today we are going to be answering your dating dilemmas this is very quickly becoming one of my favorite things to do on the podcast so if you guys are liking it we can definitely do it more and don't forget you guys can actually let us know this via our instagram um so dm us we always post like question boxes and stuff you can let us know on our comments and they will always be anonymous so let's dive in okay right so the first question we've got is what is your opinions on open relationships personally i would never get into one myself i think if that is your thing and you are comfortable being able to do that i know it's a lot more common um in the like well i'm saying it's a lot more common i know a lot more people in the lgbtq area who experience that and like like that um personally for me it's a no like i don't disagree with it but i just wouldn't be able to do it myself you're way nicer on it than i would be again

do what you want to do but i cannot i don't understand an open relationship i don't think you're in a relationship you're not in a relationship then you just want you basically you just want to sleep with whoever but you also want to keep sleeping with the same person basically that's not a relationship i'm sorry well it was like when we were on the cruise and we met that guy and they had he'd been with his husband for like 15 years but for the last three years they'd opened their relationship up to other sexual partners and they were like oh yeah we're so happy we're loving it and i was like wow like slave for you but like i could never but i also think it's different if they like they're always doing it together but like people that i know that have

open relationships go do whatever they want and then come back to each other that's not a relationship i'm sorry it's not a relationship it's basically like we're gonna have sex and we're gonna i don't know maybe live together and whatever but we're also both gonna do our own thing and sleep with whoever we want and be with whoever we want that like to me like a relationship is when you commit to someone completely agree i i can't even pretend that i understand it because i don't i think it's personally bizarre yeah if you do it i applaud you i could never like ever ever ever but what do you mean do it isn't it just being single i think so this is what i'm not yeah i think so like i don't understand it i don't understand it like i said if you want to do that

do it but to me to put a label on it called open relationship just call yourself single but you sleep with this person and you live with this person i completely agree it's crazy okay the next one can you love two people at once i think you can like two people at once i kind of do think you can which might be a bit controversial um i've not experienced being in love with two people at once i've definitely experienced liking two people at once yeah me too i haven't either but so i don't know i don't know yeah genuinely i don't know if any of you listening to this have been i would be very intrigued to know yeah so would I but I know a

few people that are like I don't know who I want to be with and they're like I genuinely love both of them so maybe you can I kind of think you can but I also feel like it's so selfish I just think it would be really hard because then if you chose the other person like having to fall out of love with the other one. Yeah, it's a bizarre, like, it's weird, isn't it? Because there's so many of us on this planet. How can you just love one person? But then at the same time, you can't, like, it sounds like I've loved more than one person at once.

I haven't. But I also can kind of see, yeah, maybe if it's just the idea how people think they can fall in love with more than one person at once. Maybe you can. Because part of me is like, like well you didn't love me if you love someone else because i don't i don't know i don't know the answer to this i'd actually love to know everyone's i really if anybody's experienced this please let us know because i'm very intrigued to know your story let's go. And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals. Get more everything with FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Visit connectsontario.ca. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee.

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other guys have more responses to their profiles as i've got absolutely nothing out of mine i don't know if it's the pictures that i've used i wonder if you could help babe you should listen to the episode we did with anna because she was speaking all about yeah we had a date next day and she was speaking all about pictures on dating profiles and i thought it was so interesting yeah basically if you've got just to give you a quick summary if you've got a picture next to a sports car or you're in ocean beach probably gonna get more dislike no it's a big no that is actually my it love O Beach. Like, I will go there in the summer. But do I want a picture on my Hinge profile there?

Absolutely not. Would you like someone with a profile picture there? No. I wouldn't. I'd be instantly put on. I don't care who you are. If I see a picture of you at Ocean Beach, I'm not liking you. Like, that is as simple as that.

I'm instantly turned off. Also, another thing I would say is, i if i was on hinge i would probably react more likely to the question so like maybe reconsider your question so it's like easy for people to respond to or something that like people can relate to or have like a really strong opinion i think it's way better having good prompts rather than like amazing pictures so like even if it's because can't you do like a poll yeah you can do like a question box that like makes it easy for people to respond so maybe give that a try i want to see your profile i want to see your profile i want to see you and i want to set it up for you i feel like i've seen so many hinge profiles but i'd

be really interested to see like girls profiles because i don't know what my profile looks like compared to like other people on that do i mean oh my god that's so like obviously we know guys profiles but I don't know what the girls profiles looks like so I would love to be able to yeah that's someone send me a picture of their hinge profile please I want to see my boyfriend keeps oh no this is a red flag my boyfriend keeps liking other girls thirst traps on Instagram he says I'm overreacting when I ask him why no no no I have a very strong opinion on this I'm gonna leave you for this one because my opinion on this I've said this opinion so many times and I will say it again very proudly also people think I'm not with my ex because this which I find crazy because it's not this but I think it's bizarre when guys are liking girls Instagram girls thirst traps on Instagram and say you're overreacting or you're a psycho.

Because nowadays we'll meet people online like we just do. Okay, my two boyfriends I met online. I met them from originally liking their Instagram pictures, liking their stories, then it got to messaging. When you start liking someone's pictures or stories that is entertaining them I don't care what anyone says even if it's without intention it is entertaining them because what is the reason for you having to like this picture like you liking this picture lets them know that you like what they look like that is the way that I see I think it's different if it's friends and then they're more inclined to message they're way more inclined to message and like that's probably how you met your girlfriend now is through Instagram or a dating app like it's probably like that and you probably started

by liking their Instagram photos etc etc and yeah you may not be doing it for that reason but if I was that girl I'd be thinking oh he keeps like my instagram and the fact that he says you're overreacting is a big red red flag because you are not overreacting saying that and not just not doing it like if he realizes that upsets you just you're not if you're overreacting and it's not a big deal you're not overreacting he's annoyed he's been found out for liking the other guy i'm sorry but that's just major red flag in every single way because he should be respecting the fact that that upsets you whether or not he sees it as a big deal or not and he doesn't and he doesn't think it's a bad thing if he doesn't think it's a bad thing then just don't do it

it's that simple and if he keeps doing it after you've told him, even bigger red flag. Oh, it's just... I think it's so disrespectful. In every way, it's disrespectful. Like, the fact that he can't... No, no, he can see that. I'm sorry, but he can see that. One million percent.

That is that. I'd be running, I'm not lying. Same. Because the thing is, if he's not changing now, he's never going to change. The fact that this is happening now. Run. Run, girl. Run. Yeah.

Sorry to make you question your relationship, but yeah. Anyways. Let's go. RBC Avion Visa lets you get there your way. We'll be right back. Choose from over 130 airlines on last-minute or peak-season travel with no points hike. Switch to RBC Avion Visa and get up to 55,000 bonus Avion points. Limited time offer, conditions apply. Visit rbc.com slash avion. After decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors,

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My boyfriend is going on a lads holiday to Magaluf. Any advice on how not to go crazy? Honestly, I have a friend who would always get really worried when her boyfriend would go away and I've always been somebody that's very chill like I've never been concerned when my boyfriend's gone away because I've never had reason to question their actions and so for me and I know that I would never do anything wrong so i always i've always said like somebody that thinks you're gonna cheat right for example and i've learned this and it's funny because i actually saw somebody write this the other day and i thought oh my god she's she's experienced what what i've experienced somebody that thinks you're gonna cheat on them it's a reflection on

themselves like i in my relationship never thought somebody was gonna cheat on them it's a reflection on themselves like I in my relationship never thought somebody was gonna cheat on me because I would never do it so because I would never do it I don't think for a second they would do it like it doesn't go through my head but when you've cheated on someone you know how easily it is done so normally the person who like thinks you're gonna cheat is cheating themselves so if you are worried that your boyfriend's gonna go off and do something and like how is this even relevant to this question how have i got on this i don't know anyways how do you not worry is what i was gonna say i i don't know i've never worried because i've never thought my boyfriend was gonna do something if you've been given doubt that he's gonna do

something then i understand why you would worry um but at the end of the day like if you know yourself you would never do anything even if you're around all of your single mates or whatever if you know like you're a strong-minded person like me going away with my single friends couldn't they could never convince me and your friends shouldn't be convincing you to cheat in the first place no exactly but I get why you think oh maybe the boys would blah blah blah but if you think for a second that he would do that then like that says a lot about him like the fact that you think that him going away with single mates could convince him to do that do you know i think it's really hard because like i've been to cavos i've been to my clothes and the like the whole thing out there

is you have no idea if someone's got a boyfriend or a girlfriend they will not make it clear so i understand the worry is like the fact that he's going to magaluf of all places like i i understand the worry but babe he might come back and get a tattoo of you or your name on his bum or something when he's really drunk i've seen loads of boys do that and also as well like again like i do get it i genuinely do get it but the way that i see it is you like saying to him or like pestering him if somebody somebody's going to cheat, they're going to do it anyways. It doesn't matter what you do. If you call him constantly, if anything,

it's going to make him want to probably cheat more if he's going to do it anyways, right? Like you pestering him, you worrying about it, like genuinely won't make any difference to the outcome. That's what I've learned in life. It's like overthinking or stressing about any situation makes no situation better and again I know it's so much easier said than done but like there's literally no point in overthinking it you've just got to tell yourself he's not going to do it

and it's as simple as that it's a reflection of them not you and you like you say you can't change what somebody is going to do they're going to do it whether you stress or you don't. Whether you are on them or you're not. Whether you're tracking their location or not. It doesn't matter. They're going to do it either way. You're only going to be causing yourself more stress by wondering what he's doing in my life. And trust me, you always find out.

You will always find out. You always find out. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year but i like one of his mates what do i do that's wild as well because you've been with him for over a year like it's not so you've just been with him for like a month and then you've suddenly started taking a liking to one of his friends do you like him that much that it's worth breaking the relationship before and does he like you like that and yeah does he like you like are you ever going to be with him or is it just like you've taken a little like fancy to him sometimes I do think and I'm not saying this is your situation but sometimes we do confuse like excitement and like risk with like love if that makes sense in the sense of

you know you can't have him which probably makes you want him more like if you wasn't with your boyfriend and you could have him like deep down would you actually want to be with him do you know what I mean like it probably excites you more because you know you can't be with him I think we all go through situations like that. And I think you've got to like weigh up. Is it worth not being with my boyfriend for this crush that I have? You also maybe, this might be completely wrong, but you might have just like come out of the honeymoon stage, maybe.

And you're probably feeling a bit like, oh, I don't know. And if he's there, is he giving you signs? Is he giving you signals? I don't know. We need more context on this one one or did you just randomly out of the blue start thinking oh yeah I actually quite like him but before you make a decision just weigh up the pros and the cons of the situation because I felt like well are there pros I don't know and also as well like is his mate gonna stop like they will fall out so if you're gonna be with him even if he does like you like that is he gonna give up that friendship like is it actually worth it

you've got a lot to think about with this one there's a lot of shit situation i'm not i'm gonna be honest with you it really is okay for the last one no sex after seven years would you break up wait sorry they haven't had sex for seven years no personally i would but that's my opinion i think sex is like a huge part of the relationship and like intimacy is what takes it from a friendship to a relationship so if i would have had that for seven years i wouldn't feel like we're in a relationship I don't know I love that intimacy that that is what I love I so yeah seven seven years is a long time I agree with Anna I don't think I could I think it's amazing people that can I think good for you that's incredible but personally I couldn't do it i don't think i could either the relationship might be perfect other than that but i think i would just really crave that intimacy especially if

i haven't had it for seven years i just feel like i'm with a roommate but when i break up i don't know because i love them so it's like it's hard and it's been seven years like that's just crazy i feel like you maybe need to have a conversation about why you haven't had sex yeah if you haven't already and like if it's like sex after marriage then i'm not being funny he or she needs to pull their finger out because if you've been dating seven years they still haven't married you and you're not having sex for that reason they need to do something about they need to they need to get a ring asap for real well i thought that was a good one to end it on again thank you so much for all sending in your dating dilemmas if you do want us to do more of these episodes please let us know over on our Instagram and guys again apologies for the voice she is not slaying bed

is calling but I'm gonna be back better and stronger next week I promise thank you so much for listening and we shall see you guys then bye bye guys