Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 89. Manifesting QUEEN Roxie Nafousi on All Things Manifesting

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

We absolutely LIVE by manifesting, so we are super excited to be joined today by Roxie Nafousi, who is a 2x Sunday Times Bestselling Author and the absolute QUEEN of manifesting. In this episode, she answers all of your questions on all things manifesting, from how to create a vision board to daily manifestation practices and how you can remove fear and doubt when manifesting your perfect life. Plus, Roxie gives her top tips on how to manifest a relationship.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

let's go hello everyone welcome back to another episode of sex lies and dm slides with me anastasia kingsnorth and me saffron barker so we are back for another episode and this episode is probably the most excited episode of all time in my opinion because I'm a very big manifesting girly um and so I can't even tell you how badly I wanted this to happen so on the podcast we have Roxy Nafisi who is a Sunday's Time best-selling author after releasing not one but two books on all things manifesting manifestation um so I yeah thank you so much for coming on this podcast I am so excited about this I can't even tell you the amount of people I've told to get this book your book manifest genuinely I think I've told every single person that I know to go and get

this book oh well that's so kind thank you so much that's so so lovely um so we have a lot of questions I guess should we just dive straight into it yeah let's go actually before we do that can I just can I just really quickly tell you something oh yeah go on really weirdly right so I was actually telling Anna this before the podcast I'm currently in America because I I'm on an acting course and my whole life I feel as if I've been manifesting my entire life. Right. And I never call it manifesting. I just made these vision boards. I did these things. I've always had a lot of self-belief that probably seems very delusional to a lot of other people. But it's just the way that I've always been and then I remember reading your book one day and thinking oh my

goodness I've been doing this my entire life but it changed it for me because you do it in a lot more detailed way that I'd ever done it before so I'd done it but never as detailed as you would explain in your book to do it, right? So now I do it your way rather than my own way. But I realized, oh my goodness, I've been doing this my entire life. And I thought to myself, all of my friends that don't have a lot of self-belief and doubt themselves a lot, they need to get into manifestation. And so I'm here in America and I meet this guy called Tristan, who was my partner in a scene.

And he basically would just doubt himself on a few things. And I was like, you really need to get into manifestation. You really need to get into it. And he was so anti it. And I was like, just do one thing for me and read this book. And it was your book. And it was about two weeks ago. And he came into the class yesterday and was like,

that book is going to change my life and I was like I told you and he's yeah last night he was facetiming me he was doing his vision boards he was like I've just finished my six months he just finished my six months is it detailed enough and I was like you won't believe it we've got Roxy on the podcast so he sent me a voice note of all of his questions so So I feel like I have so many questions. But we'll start with the viewers anyways. That is so cute. I love, love to hear those stories. And thank you so much for sharing that.

That is so nice. So funny. It's such a weird timing. But really, I do tell everyone to go and buy it. It's like perfect timing. So first of all all just for people who might not know what manifesting is even though i feel like they might because me and do speak about it quite a lot could you just explain kind of like what exactly manifesting is

yeah so manifesting is using the power of your mind to change and create the reality you experience and to manifest literally means to make it happen and to me manifesting is a self-development practice it's really a way of living and at its core manifesting is about self-worth and self-belief so the secret of manifesting is that you manifest you subconsciously believe you're worthy of receiving and so for me manifesting is yes about attracting things and being able to reach goals but more importantly it's actually about empowerment it's about becoming the best version of yourself that can exist and becoming so full of self-belief that you can make things happen and I think that it's a practice that is for absolutely everyone and anyone.

It's not just something that's spiritual. It's not woo. You know, it really is for everyone. If there's anyone listening that is cynical about the practice, I get it because there's lots of misconceptions about it. But I hope that you'll come with an open mind to this episode.

And by the end, we can convince you to start manifesting. Let's go. Check out our new player prop tracking with real-time notifications. Or have out more ways to customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently played games tabs. And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals. Get more everything with FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Visit connectsontario.ca. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee,

up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash cash back on rides not whatever you think university is for get uber one for students with deals this good everyone wants to be a student join for just $4.99 a month savings may vary eligibility and member terms apply let's go I think we can definitely convince people to start manifesting I have been manifesting I would probably say like all my life but like stuff that I feel like I've only recently like started to like really get into it again like I do a lot of vision boards I always do a vision board at the end of every year um for like the future year and like that's my favorite way of manifesting so I really feel like I can visualize it when it's in front of me um and that's just where like I love to do it and

like I do a lot of like positive self-talk I feel like I speak things into existence like we always do this on the podcast if me and staff are talking about something we won't ever be like oh I wish I could do that we'll be like I will do that I will always speak it into existence yeah I think you might have said this in your book I can't remember if you did I I might have got this wrong I'm sure you did say this in your book that you said you never say if it's always when I'm sure you said that in the book that's the way I've spoken my entire life but it's funny I wouldn't say that to random strangers but me and my best friend that's how we talk so if any of us was if either of us said oh if I got this role the other person would always correct them and be like no no no when and that's what

we've always spoke and that was a point in the book where I was like wow this is actually crazy this is what I've been doing my entire life although you definitely do do it in a better way and you explain it in such an amazing way but I guess you kind of just covered this but do you think because a lot of people when I try and tell them that they need to start manifesting their life again they kind of think that it's like a crazy practice and for some reason I think people always think manifestation is like meditating and I'm not somebody that can meditate at all I can't keep that sort of focus it's not me and I think a lot of people get very confused what it is I know you've just explained but do you think the reason that manifesting works is because you can see your future so clear that you put in the right steps to make that happen. I think there's so much to it. But I think the reason that people have a misconception around manifesting is because it has become quite like a big trend recently. You know, there's so much on

it on there on TikTok about manifestation and on Instagram. And I think that with those trends, the practice becomes really devalued because people aren't using it in the right context. So people are saying, oh, I manifested my handbag, oh, I manifested this. And it's being used kind of in language in a way that doesn't really make sense to like the actual practice.

And so people think it's spiritual. They think it's woo. They think it's just about visualization like you said like meditating on you know and your future self or your future goals and kind of then sitting back and waiting for it to happen and so obviously the cynics are like well surely that's impossible you can't just wish for what you want and wait for it to happen to which I always say yes you're absolutely right you can't because you know I've laid manifesting out into seven steps and as you'll know from the book those steps are really

actionable it's really practical and it's really you know I guess to summarize it it's about seeing what you want and knowing what you want and there's lots of kind of neuroscience behind the importance of that and why it's good for us to regularly visualize our goals. It's then about having enough self belief to know that you're worthy of reaching that goal and worthy of whatever happiness, love or success it is that you want. And then it's about taking aligned action. So showing up as your future self, stepping outside your comfort zone, committing to good habits, you know, and yeah, taking the steps that you need to get to where you want to go. I always say you can't think your way to success. You also have to put in the work, both inner work and the actual work required to reach your goals. And then, you know, my other

steps include things like turning envy into inspiration, being able to overcome tests, which is all about how you deal with challenges and obstacles and, you know, to stop settling for less than you deserve. And then it's also about faith and surrender and letting go. So it's a very full practice that's so much more than just meditation or using affirmations, which the way are great tools and they're definitely a part of the practice but they're rituals that support the manifesting process it's not manifestation itself that's so interesting i've never really thought about it but that is that is so interesting if someone was a real beginner in manifesting and they had like

no idea where to start or they just started hearing about it they're really interested in it what would you say is like your big tip for somebody who really wants to begin manifesting but also the do's and don'ts yeah oh the do's and don'ts I mean look I really not to kind of be plugging my own book but I would say that that book is a great starting point you know for all the audio book um because not everybody likes to sit down and read I actually quite love an audio book but starting with the book I think would be a good step because it's a really easy read and it really does give you everything you need to know about how to put it into practice how to actually do it and with like actionable tools um I think that

there's some like mistakes that people make when manifesting maybe that that I could share yeah so I think that one of the mistakes that people make is when they start to manifest they become quite obsessed with their goals and they kind of I think when people get obsessed with something and they get obsessed wanting to manifest something they actually give out this very desperate energy and that kind of desperation has got such a low vibration and it's really keeps you stuck in this place of fear and doubt. And fear and doubt, which is a culmination of all our insecurities and low self-worth, is the thing that is blocking all of us from having all we want. And that's why step two of my seven-step guide, Remove Fear and Doubt, is the most important.

You know, you can't skip it. This really is about being able to change your belief system feel worthy so when we're in this state of desperation on obsession and that's coming from this place of fear and doubt which essentially is saying I'm not sure it's really going to happen for me I'm not sure I'm really worthy of it then I think that we keep ourselves blocked from receiving it and I think everyone listening will know that experience you know can you think of a time where you've been so desperate for something like overly you know to that point where it's really coming for a place of like

lack or fear and it doesn't happen for you whereas on those occasions where you have full confidence you're like I know it's coming for me I don't need to be obsessed over it I don't need to be you know giving off that vibe because I'm so sure that it's going to work out those are the times where you end up calling it in and it really happens for you so I know for me personally the second I go from you know feeling really at ease and confident in something to feeling desperate for it you know if I get into that feeling of desperation or feeling I need something I already know I've lost it at that point that's yeah it's funny that you say that because I I I never really looked at being obsessed with something and fear fear and doubt in the same

category but it makes so much sense because for me whenever I get scared of something I guess it is because I want something so badly that I get scared that it's not going to happen and to be fair that is definitely when the doubt comes into play and I never really would have put those two things together so that actually makes so much sense. So much sense. I guess that's probably something I need to work on. I don't think I'm somebody that has too much fear and doubt. But if I want something bad enough, then yeah, it definitely does come into that. Yeah, probably is when I get it the most. That makes so much sense. Wow. I think part of that that I think it's really important to say for people listening who can relate is that the reason we get obsessed with things I think is because we

think that that goal or that thing will give us the validation or the happiness we've been searching for and a big part of this is always understanding that the outcome of something is not the be and end all of your life it's not the thing that is going to define you and I think that that is so liberating or we can figure that out because it's kind of saying okay I know you really want this job and be just confident and like you know what I know that's going to work for me. The moment we're kind of like, oh my God, I need it to happen. I need it to make me feel worthy. I need it to make me feel happy. That's when we become obsessed. Whereas if we kind of are able to go, I'm going to be so proud of myself when that happens. And

it's going to bring great things. And I'm just going to trust it's coming. That's just, that's coming from such an empowered place but you're not relying on that thing to bring you confidence and joy and happiness because actually happiness and confidence is built along the way it's crazy yeah wow even you just saying that yeah it makes me think yeah like I've never looked at it it radiates so much more confidence yeah and I've never looked at it in that way before so it's really nice to look at it from that angle because I think I was saying this to Saf like a couple of months ago we were talking about manifesting and I for some reason I don't even know where I've heard this from but it was like a technique of you put it out into the universe but then you just don't think about

it again and you it's out there and you leave the universe to kind of like do its thing instead of becoming like obsessed with the idea is that an actual technique of manifesting or have I just completely made that up yeah yeah I mean I would say it's definitely like a part of the manifesting process for sure I would say with all these things when we say the word like technique it sounds like that's the thing to do. And then that one thing will lead you there. But it's not. So I would say that that really speaks to my step seven,

trust in the universe, which is about knowing what you want and then letting it go. So it's absolutely an ingredient and a part of it, but it's not the whole practice. Right. Okay. I got you. That makes so much sense.

Cause I said that to Saf and Saf hadn't heard of it like about that when I said like oh yeah I let it go to the universe and then when I said it I was like oh maybe I'm doing I don't know maybe I just thought the wrong thing I don't know but yeah I'd seen that somewhere and it it made me very intrigued about just kind of like letting the universe do its thing with well I think I always talk about putting things into the universe but for me I was not more reluctant because things into the universe but for me I was not more reluctant because whatever works for anyone but for me somebody saying that I would think well that's great but you also need to put in the action to do it because in my head I could

say I want a million things the universe isn't just suddenly going to make it happen which is why I'm very big on you know making vision making vision boards and, and, and seeing exactly what I want for my future. Because if I believe it, then I feel like I'm naturally going to put in the steps to make those things happen. I think one of my favorite things about your book, which is very early in your book is when you talk about, um, you know, your dream house for an example, and you're like, don't just see your dream house, see the color of the windows, the walls, the, you know, everything about it. And that really made things even clearer for me, because like growing up, I would always, so I'm going to have this, I'm going to have this house, and I'm going to have that, and I'm going

to have this, but I never fully envisioned what it's gonna look like and now things are so much clearer for me I know also the path that I want to go down is just so much clearer I know exactly what I want and what I don't want but maybe something I do do is maybe obsess over it a little bit too much so that's something I'm definitely going to take away from this podcast so maybe don't obsess over it too much and maybe do just let it kind of do its own thing a little bit I love that and you know for anyone that's listening and is wondering like how why does it matter to like get clarity on things I just say that the way it works is that when we regularly visualize our goals and when we have a really really clear image so we are

really imagining that detail so like you said with the dream house and the colored doors and where it is and what the garden looks like essentially what we do is we prime the subconscious parts of our brain which is 95 of our brain's activity we prime it to reach those goals by seeking out opportunities that are aligned with those goals and filtering out unwanted unwanted information so what that means is that let's say you had an image of a house in your head and you were really you know you're so clear on that let's say when you're then going through like all these like you know property websites your subconscious is actually going to look for that exact house and seek it out and be more likely to notice it than if you weren't visualizing it in the in the beginning so your subconscious part of your

brain starts working for you to be able to make it happen wow i never thought of it like that yeah that's so interesting yeah I've never looked at it from that point of view either like in the subconscious of our brain but again it makes so much sense um just I've read your book so the fact that I didn't even know I feel like I need to I need to read it again and keep telling everyone to read it but I feel like I need to read it again even though I'm listening to you on the podcast but it is so good I'm really this is why sometimes I love an audio book though because when I listen to it in my ears and I can really take it in and then it like makes so much sense um just circling back to so the law of attraction how is the law of attraction different to manifesting or is it different to manifesting?

Great question. So the law of attraction says that like attracts like. So if you put out, and before I say that, what I'll say is that everything in the universe is made up of energy. So the only thing that differentiates us from the sky above us and the chair below us is the density and frequency of the vibration of the atoms so you have things that have a high vibrational frequency and things that have a low vibrational frequency now thoughts and emotions also have different vibrational frequencies so you can have high vibrational emotions such as love joy acceptance peace gratitude and you have things that have a low emotions that have a low vibrational frequency such as envy anger guilt shame sadness fear so because the law of attraction

says like attracts like it means that the energy that we put out and the way that we feel changes what we then attract into our lives and i think that anecdotally we'll all know this to be true so if we wake up and we're in a really bad mood are those not the days that we miss our train we trip up we spill our coffee we get bad news someone sends us an email that pisses us off right we know we seem to like stay stuck in this low vibe whereas when we're in that really good mood we're feeling high vibe full of gratitude appreciation those are the days when you're driving to work and all the traffic lights are green or you get that opportunity comes through or someone sends you a nice message or you notice that you know someone's smiling you on the way to work whatever it is and so I think that you know it's a really important part

of the process is knowing that like our vibe matters and we do attract the way what we feel and the energy that we put out um but it's just not the full picture you know I think the law of attraction kind of gives the if you were to only focus on that you would think that it would be enough just to think positive thoughts and then expect positive results but it's not the whole picture this is also about your beliefs it's about taking action putting in the work and making it happen um so yeah it's a part of it but not the whole thing that's so true what you were saying about like if you wake up and you know you you start your day

in a bad way it's like a domino effect and it just happened like everything just seems to go wrong and 100 yeah i've never again looked at it like that but it really really it does so how sorry just circling back to what we were talking about with the fear and the doubt in manifesting someone wants to know how they can remove that fear and doubt from their mind or if it's even possible to do that and how to like avoid that I mean this is where the inner work is really required and you know in both my books I've got lots and lots of different like tools that people can use day to day to help them with that. And a lot of it is about changing the language that we use, the way that we speak to ourselves, using positive affirmations, and different kind of in a child

work that we can do. But really, this is about healing. And I think that, you know, when I started this whole process, I mean, my backstory is, I won't go into it now think that you know when I started this whole process I mean my backstory is I won't go into it now but you know I was deeply unhappy suffering from depression and addiction for you know the first 28 years of my life and had absolutely no self-worth and I did change how I felt about I changed everything in my life but most importantly the way I felt about myself and you know was able to change that fear and doubt that had really kind of been so present for as for as long as I can remember and we can change our beliefs so we can change because we have this thing called neuroplasticity which is our brain's ability

to form new neural pathways through repeated thought and action um but it's an ongoing process and when i started i remember thinking oh like what's the point in healing and looking at my childhood or looking at my trauma you know i sort of focused on moving forward but actually it's just not possible we are constantly going to be ruled by our pasts unless we address them. Because all our past experiences affects how we feel about ourselves and the world around us. So this really is about doing the work, whether that's through journaling, therapy, counseling, you know, whatever it is. But there are also lots of daily practices you can use to help yourselves as well and that's what um I have in the book that's so exciting I'm really excited to like I feel like you've given me a whole new like way of looking at the way I've been manifesting um because I think like stuff like you were saying with the whole like fear and doubt I think I've

subconsciously maybe been experiencing that um so I'm excited to try and like now remove that and go forward in a whole new like different light towards manifesting which is very exciting let's go after decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors, Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists, one movement disorders coordinator, 58 answered questions, two focused ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of high-intensity focused ultrasound waves, zero incisions, and that very same day, two steady hands.

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Register now at causeandeffect.ucc.on.ca let's go i would like to think that i was on the right path anyways but even more so it's made me really think that i need to yeah definitely not obsess over those certain things because therefore i do have a lot more fear and doubt um just going on to the vision board side of it so you recommend doing a six months vision board and a year's vision board they're the two vision boards that you work you don't recommend any more oh did you recommend more than that I can't remember I read your book so long ago I'm giving it to everyone but I read it so long ago no no I get that no I said so basically you can either do six months one year or five years or you can do all three as long as they're aligned with each other um so yeah you can do you can

choose your timeline okay so I've always done all three that's just the way that I've always done it but I renew them every year which I don't really know if I should be redoing the five year one or not but for some reason I redo it because I think I have new goals that come up um but my friend who I was on FaceTime to last night his vision board looked extremely different to how mine looked and he was asking me am I doing it correctly and obviously I'm not the expert at this. So I was a bit like, you know, I'll ask Roxy because I'm not the expert of this, but his was definitely a lot more detailed than mine. It had, he had written in, in first person, everything that was going to happen in his life. Honestly, almost like a book. It's, you know, I'm going to feel's you know I'm gonna feel this way I'm gonna this I'm gonna that whereas when I've done my vision boards I've more so written my goals and what I want them

to look like but I guess less of the um the talk of I'm gonna feel this way I'm gonna just I've more on my vision boards I've more just written my goals and I've worked out in my mind how I want to feel and how I see them, if that makes sense. So is there basically, is there a correct way of doing the vision boards? Is there a way that you recommend doing them? Because I'm sure everybody makes theirs look extremely different, but if somebody was to make a vision board straight after this episode, how would you first tell them to start out doing it? Yeah.

So vision boards, I love vision boards and I love talking about vision boards and I've got step-by-step guides in both the books. But basically my big kind of thing about vision boards is this so most people who make vision boards do vision boards which just have lots of pretty pictures on them and that's the vision board that I personally don't believe in because for me that is a mood board it It's like an inspiration board, a vision board, because the purpose of it is that it's trying to prime your brain into your future self so that

you can start working towards it. It needs to have a lot of detail in it. So it needs to be a really clear idea of the things that you want and what you want to manifest so I think that as long as there is detail in it um you know you can add pictures to it I actually don't I think your friend's um visual board sounds great like I love if that works for him in that kind of talking and prose like that and adding I mean because you know it is about creating the feeling, our future feelings. That is such a great piece. So if that works for him, that's perfect. But yeah, you don't need it. The important thing is that you do have detail.

So my vision boards are literally bullet points. I categorize my life and then I just write loads of bullet points. But I'm so clear. I'm so like big and ambitious in my dreams and I think that really like I kind of always say that when it comes to making vision board this is really an opportunity for you to be brave and courageous and vulnerable and honest with yourself about what you really want um so I think it's a really sacred and incredible um exercise to. That's so interesting. Yeah, I actually like doing my vision boards with my friends as well.

I don't know if that's something else that you would, I don't know if it's something you'd recommend or it doesn't really matter. But personally, I like doing mine with my friends because my friends don't think I'm delusional. They're all very much the same. We believe in all of each other's goals. Wouldn't start showing my own people, yeah.

So I actually find it such a fun thing to sit and do with my friends um but I think I do the same thing in the sense I do bullet points but just another question for myself when I personally do these bullet points of all these goals and things I want I then separately to that write down how I'm gonna make it happen is that something else you do or is that not something you write out you just see the goals and then it's clear um I don't personally but I think great that you do like to have an action plan is brilliant like you know think of it like a business plan you know you'd have a goal and then you talk about

how you're going to make it happen so I think that's fantastic and I definitely keep doing it and I think you know what's really important is this isn't life or death do what feels good to you if you want to do it with your friends absolutely yes do it with your friends if you want to do it on your own do it on your own if you want to show people show people like you know I always say take what I say with a pinch of salt like I think I have a formula that works if it resonates with you fantastic but it's not you know really strict rules also just do what feels good like this is about making you as happy and empowered as possible and as long as you have the basic understanding of what you actually why why and how this practice works then you can have fun around the edges love that that's so interesting because when you said about the

vision board being like a mood board when you think of it with loads of pictures on I and I don't really know why I did this but when I did my mood board I wrote down like bullet points of different things but then I covered the bullet points up with the pictures so I only knew that the bullet points were there nobody else knew they were there but I love that and yeah and I don't know such a cool idea and I don't know why I did that but I was like I just want to write something but I didn't know what so I did it and then yeah nobody knew it was there but I knew it was there and I don't know why I did that but I was like I just want to write something but I didn't know what so I did it and then yeah nobody knew it was there but I knew it was there and I didn't know whether that was like you there's not like a right or wrong way of doing it because it's it is so individual as well but like I didn't know if that was a wrong thing to be doing but maybe by your

reaction it's not maybe that was a good thing that I did I think that's so cool because one thing I do say to people is like i personally would always put your vision board away yeah because i don't i think if you're looking at it every day you can become obsessed with it and secondly for you to be really honest and vulnerable like i think saffron you've got a really unique possession position where you have friends that clearly you can be so open with most people don't have that experience where they can be completely vulnerable with people about their wildest dreams and not be worried about being judged in which case it should be sacred to you so you give yourself more permission

to dream so but like i said that's individual so if somebody's listening and there's also like saffron and has those people around and has a boyfriend that would walk in and see their visual board on the wall and be like yes I love this dream big you know fine but most of us have at least an element of our dreams are like for us where we're like oh I wouldn't want anyone to know just how big it is until it happens yes yeah I can completely see that because yeah like you say I do think I'm in a very lucky position but there's a lot of people also that I wouldn't be showing because I think just even their reaction would create so much doubt and would make me feel as if I can't achieve those things which I don't want that energy in my life so I'm just gonna stick with

my best friends that believe in me and that's the only people that I'm showing so somebody's asked and I have a question about this as well so somebody's asked and I have a question about this as well. So somebody's asked, you might laugh at this one. How can I manifest a boyfriend? And on top of that, I wanted to ask and a friend, honestly, I keep saying this, but my friends have asked me to ask so many questions. I'm asking on behalf of all of them as well. In terms of writing bullet points, okay, so the thing that I think I've always been great at is manifesting my career and my life and happiness. But the one thing I feel as if maybe I haven't manifested very well is this perfect relationship. And I think it's probably the things my friends have struggled with the most and my

friend when he was doing his board last night he said to me I just don't know where to start on the relationship side of it I don't know how to work on that I don't you know I can write down I want this happy relationship but how do I put any action towards making it happen yeah okay great questions love talking about this I actually did a whole manifesting love webinar on valentine's day so absolutely you can manifest love um and essentially you know I use my seven steps in the same way to manifest anything so whether that's something to do with your career personal goals house or partner so top line and we'll start with step one is getting clear on your vision but you do that for your partner so this will be also the advice for your friend who's

doing his vision board last night so when we're thinking about our perfect partner or perfect relationship really what we're trying to think about is what are the qualities that this person has and how does the relationship make you feel and what is what are the qualities that this person has and how does the relationship make you feel and what is what kind of things do you do as a couple so really I ask people to try and make sure that they're not putting down qualities that are kind of just about the way someone looks or like these kind of shallow or external kind of factors because i think that i think you can you can want you can put that you want to be attracted to your partner obviously but i think if we're going into like they have to be over six foot and have blue eyes

and blonde hair and you know have a certain accent I think you are gonna I personally don't think that's really what we're after I think it's more important that I want someone who's attractive confident um family's important to them they make me feel comfortable they make me feel safe to be myself they make me feel respected we can have fun together they value adventure and spontaneity you know so I think those kind of things are more important when it comes to really thinking about the kind of relationship you want in terms of if you want to actually manifest a healthy relationship you know and I think also some people are not ready for a healthy relationship and also be honest with yourself about that you might just want the drama and the love affair and that's it fine but if you really are looking for that settled partner and that deep friendship think

about the qualities of that person that will bring that for you um and then you can do visualization meditations around that step two is then remove fear and doubt now this is the hardest thing for people to manifest because usually we have the most wounds around love and so the inner work required in this area is so much greater because there's likely for most of us a lot of you know trauma around our relationships with our parents or with previous partners. And that needs to be processed and understood. And I think there's a lot we can do to help us heal around love, but kind of just being open to that inward journey is the first step. Step three is align your behavior. So when it comes to dating, this is about going on dating apps, getting out

the house you know putting yourself in positions where you might meet someone accepting dates from friends just kind of aligning your behavior in that way step four is overcome tests from the universe so this is really about recognizing that tests are here to test your worth how worthy do you really think you are so when it comes to dating this is about how um okay the easiest example to explain it is if somebody uh you start dating someone and then they start playing hot and cold with you or an ex comes into your life these are tests how worthy do you really think you are of a happy healthy relationship are you going to like stick around with someone that's treating you like shit because you don't really believe you're worthy of more in which case you're going to stay stuck or are you able to say no I know I'm worth more than this

I really feel that tests come into your life just before you're meant to meet the right person and it's really important that we're able to shut the door on people that are not giving us what we deserve. And so I think this step is so empowering, but also so important. I think it's very hard for somebody to keep casually dating someone that's treating them like shit and then meet the right person. I'm not saying it never happens, but I think it's much more likely to happen if you're able to actually show the universe, I know I'm worthy of more. Because we manifest what we subconsciously believe we are worthy of receiving step five is then embrace gratitude so this is about putting yourself in this high vibrational frequency so this is about being grateful for the life that you already have it's about finding joy in the everyday not feeling

that you need somebody to complete you um and being able to sink into gratitude of single life appreciate it enjoy it be in that high vibe find an abundance of love in other areas of your life and for yourself um step six is turn envy into inspiration so this is about envy is really low vibe inspiration is high vibe so this is about being able to say you know when your friends are posting couple selfies you see someone getting engaged it's about noticing when that feeling of envy comes up and turning it into inspiration so instead of saying oh god like can't fucking believe they're posting again you know whatever it is instead of saying oh i can't wait to feel like that i can't wait to have that love in my life so turning it into inspiration and then step seven is trust in the universe and that's all about surrender

I know the right person is coming for me at the right time I'm not going to obsess over it I'm going to let it happen and that's the kind of a very top line as with you I love that because I feel like I somewhat did that from I was in a really bad situation ship and I came out of it and I said I'm not gonna allow myself to be treated like this anymore I completely switched my mindset around and I met who is now my ex-boyfriend but and the relationship was everything that I had always wanted and dreamt of and I think that was because I completely changed my attitude towards what I knew I deserved um But what you just said about step six about the envy, I think that's really hard nowadays in like such a social media heavy world to like fix because if you are feeling

single, or you feel really shit and you go online, it does seem like everyone and their mother is getting engaged or having a baby or anything like that. So I thought that is like a really hard step to be able to get over yourself and be like, no, I'm really happy for that person. Like blah, blah, blah. I've never looked at that before. And of course, I'm super happy when I see it.

But maybe deep down, I'm a bit like, oh, when is it going to be my turn? But I guess like you said, it is just turning that envy into a positive feeling which is a really nice way to look at things yeah wow I feel like I'm really going to take a lot from that one um okay so just I guess the last question that we have I feel like it's quite a nice one to round it up on um and thank you so much because I feel like you've genuinely covered everything I really feel like it's quite a nice one to round it up on um and thank you so much because I feel like you've genuinely covered everything I really feel like I need to redo my vision boards not that you've said there's a right or wrong way to do it but I feel like I would probably do it a little bit differently um so just for new people that are hopefully going to go and buy your book and

get into manifesting um what sort of environment do you think somebody should be in when manifesting I think you know what we really want to do is like letting go is a really common theme throughout the manifesting process so I talk a lot about letting go what no longer serves you, negative thoughts, limited beliefs, people that don't serve your future self, habits that aren't aligned with your future you. And I think that a part of that letting go of space which is filled with like shit and mess and clutter and memories of things that might maybe aren't serving you I think that's a harder place to manifest from I think that we want to feel that we're giving ourselves space to like grow and transform and feel safe and feel empowered and so if you can

replicate that in your environment I think that's a really amazing starting place so even anybody listening like take this as your sign to just like get the bin bags out do a charity you know collection of everything you want to give to charity or whatever you want to sell on vinted or the things that need to go in the bin there it's actually such a good place to start and it feels so good like you feel so clean afterwards like essentially you're creating space for better things to enter your life it's funny they what do they say like clear oh my mom always tells i'm very you probably tell from the stuff behind me I am taking the stuff out to recycling but um I'm very I'm a very messy person my mom

always tells me that if you have a clear space you have a clear mind yeah that's it I feel like maybe that's also very much what you're getting at because yeah if if everything is chaotic around you you can't have a clear mind and you know I think go in the direction that you want to go there's definitely something I should work on myself so I feel like that's a good way to um to end this that's very much I think very aimed at me I need to do that I hope you don't feel attacked I'm so sorry I didn't know no no no no I mean I wasn't saying you were aiming at me but I'm realizing I really needed to hear that because look at behind me it's

not looking it to be fair I'm in an Airbnb so I haven't got um actually places to put stuff but I feel as if I could definitely make this place more clear and my mind would be more clear so it's a good way for me to end that I'm gonna start cleaning up after this well thank you so so much for coming on today I really feel like you will have inspired lots of people to start manifesting and have a really positive approach to manifesting if they didn't already um and I think you've taught Saf and I a lot of things as well which i'm really excited to kind of take on um in my own like manifesting journey um but thank you all so much for listening make sure to go and buy roxy's book if you haven't already um on how to manifest i didn't know you had two books actually so i need to i need to read the other book i absolutely yeah I'm gonna do that straight off and also I am coming I'm doing in live shows in Manchester

and Dublin this September so it's manifest the live show oh my gosh oh wow I live in Manchester so I will be there oh you'll have to come oh my god I would send me an email I would absolutely love that that sounds like my perfect sort of evening your audiobook is it you did you film the audiobook yourself yeah I yeah yeah it's by me because my friend said to me because I read okay because my friend said to me he said um because I read the book rather than listen to the audio, even though I very much am an audio person, but I just liked the whole look of it. I wanted the book. I wanted the manifest on the side.

Anyways, he said to me, and her voice is just so good to listen to. And as I'm talking to you, the first thing I noticed was, sounds really strange, but your voice is so calming. So I can completely understand how you'd be really great in an audio book. I'll be downloading that's so lovely thank you so much what such a random thing to say but

I think my voice is annoying no it's so nice no it's really not it's gorgeous honestly you guys have been so sweet such a breath of fresh air. This has been such a lovely interview. I've really, really enjoyed it. Oh, I'm so glad. Thank you so much for coming on. Yeah, thank you so much. We really, really appreciate it. Thank you all, everyone, for listening.

Be sure to check us out on socials and subscribe to the pod on Spotify so you don't miss out on all of the future episodes. And we will see you on Thursday for another bonus episode. Bye, everyone. Bye, everyone. on all of the future episodes and we will see you on Thursday for another bonus episode bye everyone bye everyone sex size and dm size is a spotify original podcast it was produced by spirit studios