Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 94. Are We In Our Celibacy Era?

Episode Date: July 4, 2024

Celibacy is something we've been wanting to talk about for a hot minute! After seeing that #celibacy has 78 million posts on TikTok, we knew we had to give our hot take on the topic. Today, we discuss all things celibacy, our opinions on it and whether we've ever taken a period of celibacy... by choice or not! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

let's go hi guys and welcome back to another episode of sex lies and dm slides it's thursday which means we're back for another bonus episode so in tuesday we spoke about hot girl summer and how excited we are just to live our best lives this summer we told you guys some of our tragic stories that have happened in the past so we're hoping this is definitely going to be a hot girl summer um but something that seems to be topic of conversation everywhere at the moment is celibacy so a study found that people are having less sex than ever so we thought it'd be interesting topic to discuss on today's bonus episode um this actually

surprised me to be fair well actually did it no actually it does surprise me no that surprises me but also like i do just wonder how they figure this out like how many people are they surveying to figure this out yeah do you know what i mean because i mean obviously people have sex all year round but so i feel like especially around this time of year it would maybe increase i don't know like yeah i don't necessarily know if it means this time of year but just within this year just in general yeah maybe then i think it's just i think it's just in general but i find it crazy because i feel as a society obviously throughout the years we've changed a lot so

yeah good I'm gonna bring up my 60s knowledge now guys oh god in the 60s it was very much free love right and then loads of things happened like AIDS and stuff and people stopped having sex less yeah right and we're just yeah weren't sleeping around so much and nowadays I feel as if the our generation the new generation that's growing up is very much about free love again and being with who you want to be and open relationships and so I feel as if we're we're closer to that than we are other you know like yeah I feel like we're closer to the 60s than the 80s or the 90s if that makes sense in the sense of how our generation is um like open relationships is a huge thing which if I'm thinking of an open relationship people are sleeping around a lot

yeah if you think of an open relationship you're not sleeping with one person so and it's very normalized now so for me I'm really surprised because yeah I mean I'm I'm genuinely I was reading that this morning for the first time and I was genuinely shocked by that yeah I I am very shocked by it I mean first of all have you ever like deliberately taken a period of celibacy like on purpose not on purpose but then not on purpose because I don't feel like I've ever been in a period of my time where I'm like I've had too much sex I don't feel like I've ever been like that I've been in relationships and then when I'm not in a relationship I don't not really I'm not really

the sort of person to just go and sleep with somebody it's just it's just not me yeah so unless I'm with somebody I'm not I'm not really having sex so I just but yeah there's no time I'm like oh I need to take time off see I feel like I haven't thought of it as like I need to take time off but like too much like I need to take time off I've definitely like I remember I'd after I slept with the like the first person I lost my virginity to after that I didn't have sex like a really long time and I think it was because I it was just very different to what I thought it was going to be but I was also very young like I was 16 um so I like I just

remember in my head thinking I'm not going to do that for a while and then I was like celibate for like three years I think so that was by choice but then wow yeah that was by choice and not just not really for like any particular reason it just wasn't what I thought it was going to be like and I think I just had a bit of a weird idea and view like on sex from that experience not that it wasn't bad or anything but just because I was so young and it was different so that year was by choice but then ever since I wouldn't necessarily it's been by choice um it's more just ended up that way but I haven't had someone that I haven't been having regular sex with somebody. Customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently played games tabs. And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals. Get more everything with FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino.

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but i remember when i was like celibate of like three years, like it didn't necessarily make me feel any sort of way. Like I didn't feel like any different. I just was just making a conscious thing of like, I'm not going to do it, which looking back was like actually a very odd period of my life. Like I, like I've never really thought about it, but yeah,

I, but, but then recently I guess I've been celibate, but not on purpose so yes that's the thing I don't think I've deliberately thought to myself okay I'm not gonna I'm not gonna you know I'm not gonna have sex I don't think I've ever thought that because when I lost my virginity it was to my boyfriend at the time yeah who I was in a relationship with so I never had that stage because to be honest if I if I had lost my virginity and it was with someone random or like my boyfriend at the time yeah who i was in a relationship with so i never had that stage

because to be honest if i if i had lost my virginity and it was with someone random or like just you know just like a one night stand thing yeah i think i would have been the same as you because i think you've losing your virginity is such a scary thing especially if you're young when you lose it so i will actually at any age yeah it's a scary thing it is so i can completely see how you thought yourself okay i don't think i want to do that again for a while whereas for me it's different i was in a relationship yeah see when it happened when i lost my virginity i lost my virginity with a friend which is a bit odd um but yeah i sat with one of my friends who were in a

bit of like a weird situation with so i think that also just maybe made it weird if i think it was if it was with a boyfriend then yeah like you i think i would have had a completely different outlook on it but i think because of the situation i like got myself in it was just a bit weird so i was just like yeah i had a bit of celibacy after but obviously we're saying people seem to be having sex less and less there are 78 million posts on tiktok with the hashtag celibate now to me that is a lot for people to post on tiktok about hashtag celibate that i think that's 17 million is a lot like you said especially for nowadays yeah i'm quite shocked by that but i also think like i'm very shocked by that i'm not gonna lie because also yeah i mean there's been huge periods of my life where I haven't had sex for a very long time.

And because, like I said, if I'm not in a relationship, I'm just not the sort of person who has one night stands. Yeah. To be honest, I just don't really trust people enough. It's just myself. I just, me personally, nothing against anyone that does at all. Just for me, I just don't really do that. So I've definitely been through that. But for for me it doesn't make me feel any better it made me feel if it doesn't make me feel any different aside from the fact I'm just not having

sex yeah I'm curious as to like why some people do choose to go celibate because I can't really like I know what kind of why I did but like I'm curious as to why people do like in you know in their 20s if they decide to or like you know so if anybody actually has decided and made a conscious effort to be celibate I'm actually really intrigued and if you wouldn't mind like sharing your story or reason why obviously it'll be anonymous I would love to hear it I imagine why somebody would go celibate at such at an age of like 20 like our age for example is if you were having sex all the time, I could understand why somebody would

because I feel as if it could very easily control like a big factor of your life. And I don't know if you find this, this might be TMI, but for me, the more i have sex the more i would want to have sex so if i don't have sex in a year i don't crave to go and have sex that's just not a thing yeah whereas if i was actively having sex i feel like you then want it more a hundred so i think if somebody was sleeping around all the time of different people i could see very easily how it could be addictive for them well and i can see why maybe you'd want

to go celibate because maybe it would and i might be completely wrong but maybe that could be why some people decide to do that like our age or older for example i definitely think that could be one of the reasons or yes somebody's reason because you know a sex addiction can be a real thing like that really is real thing and i knew i've spoken about this on the podcast before but i knew somebody with a porn addiction and it actually stopped them from being able to have sex in real life because they were so addicted to porn so that yeah it could well be a reason to go celibate there's a a movement on tiktok at the moment that's gaining a lot of like momentum called the boy sober movement so it sees women swearing off dating men so which given that most of these involved are like straight which means no dating at all as a

way to deprioritize men in their lives and focus on other areas such as friendships or their career so they're just completely just you know just disregarding relationships and they're just not putting that on the forefront of their mind and they're just focused on their friends and career which again yeah i can kind of see that a reason to be celibate and you're just focusing on something else in your life but i've yeah i'm intrigued to see these movements i think i need to go through people's tiktoks and actually have a look at like people's reasons and what they're saying because like i haven't seen too much of this movement but i kind of want to like look into it now after decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors, Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special.

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Your weekend will thank you. Small steps today means big wins tomorrow. With Chegg. Subscribe today. You got this well then on top of this so this is like the opposite end come on babe i've got it all apparently about celibacy celibacy queen over here not my choice but she's got all the facts we've been fact after fact

she's been doing her research on this a few weeks ago you're going to tell me at the end of this podcast yeah but baby it's not my choice is there going to be no hot girl summer for you no well yeah we're going to we'll have a celibate hot girl summer until I find

myself a nice boyfriend and then I can have some fun again but a few weeks ago tell us this other fact so this is like opposing to the the boy movement the boy sober movement um bumble launched a global advertising campaign um and the point of which seemed to be making casual sex great again so like the tagline was a vow of celibacy is not the answer so that's what like a billboard said another one said thou shall not give up on dating and become a nun i'm a little bit confused by this personally because i don't i personally don't think that should be on a billboard i really don't and i think be on a billboard. I really don't. And I think whoever signed that off at Bumble,

I think they need to relook at who's signing their campaigns off. Because that's a big statement. Whether they've done that to get people talking and to try and like get people to whatever, I don't know. But like, if I saw that, like that's not making me want to download bumble in the slightest that i would see that and think like oh gosh like that's like that's someone's personal

choice like pushing that again do you know i mean i think that i personally think that's really weird and it's apparently there's been a lot of controversy and an uproar about the campaign because apparently it's like tone deaf and i completely agree yeah i think that is a very very very tone deaf campaign like i said i would love to know who thought that was a good idea signing that off that is crazy the fact it would have gone through so many people as well so yet so many people have had to approve that and they're all like yeah perfect blah blah like whatever it says like don't become a nun like what that's an insane tagline especially for like a dating app like bumble to come out with like that is i'm i'm understanding the

controversy i mean that is wild yeah but i wonder if they've done that because i guess the movement is so big like it's becoming so big i've never i haven't seen this on my tiktok but tiktok's one of those right you see one video you see a hundred of the same thing. So I imagine now, because we've also discussed it and our phones do listen to us. Yeah. It'd probably be down my TikTok now.

Now I'm going to end up scrolling and reading all about it. Definitely. And maybe we'll have completely different views, guys, by the time we're next on the podcast. Maybe. I need to look at this

boy sober movement and I'm going to have to look more into this. I mean, I personally haven't like seen the billboard out and about, but now I know about it. I know I'm going to see it somewhere. Like, you know,

when that always happens and you become aware of something, you'll see it. Yeah. I do not agree with the billboard at all, but personally, I can't see how going celibate would make my life any better. Personally, I don't think it would.

I can completely see how for a lot of people you might think it will or it does but for me I don't think I think I like to say I have healthy balance yeah I think 100% I don't feel like my life has evolved around guys or sleeping with somebody or anything like that I think I very much do me for me I'd definitely say the same for you as well yeah and if you happen to be with somebody that's just that I don't know for me I can't see how it would add anything to my life but that's just my personal opinion I'm intrigued to see if anybody listened to this and you are celibate if it has made you feel any sort of way in the sense of has it made you feel like empowered or has it made you feel like you've really taken back control like is that like potentially like another reason

and I'm really intrigued to see if it's made you feel like that but like I also don't think I think you can still be celibate and like still be dating people I don't think you have to be single to be celibate like you can still go out and date people and decide that you don't want to have sex and that's a very like important thing to get out there i think for me it's like i just don't want to put i don't see the for me personally i don't i don't feel the need to put a label on it yeah like i'm not thinking oh i want to be said about i'm not thinking i don't want to be said but i'm just just whatever you're just not thinking i don't know i just don't feel the need to personally put a label on it. You know?

Yeah. That's just my personal thing. I haven't really thought about it, to be honest, for a very long time. Like, I really, really haven't. Like I said, I'm just not having sex because I'm fucking single right now. Like, there's genuinely nothing more to it.

But I do find it really interesting and why people make those decisions. So, like I said, if any of you are celibate and you've done that out of choice please send like if you feel comfortable enough like sending your stories in to sex lives podcast on instagram um and I'd be very intrigued to read some and like share people's stories if you'd all be interested in that um but yeah overall I think it's an amazing thing if that's somebody's decision that they want to do um and they've like absolutely taken that empowerment upon themselves very shocked at bumble actually gobsmacked at that to round this podcast off yeah i can't believe but maybe i cannot believe maybe they have to get people talking i mean we're

talking about it so if that's what they're doing it has to be it has to be the only reason why yeah it has to be sometimes brands do like to create controversy to get people talking about the brand and maybe that is what they've done who knows um i'm gonna have to do my research into it but that is everything for today's episode be sure to check us out on socials and subscribe to the pod on spotify so you don't miss out on all of the goss and we will see you on Tuesday for our next episode. Bye everyone. See you guys then. Bye.

Sex Size and DM Size is a Spotify original podcast. It was produced by Spirit Studios.