Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - 37 & Single with Jared Freid

Episode Date: August 24, 2023

Episode 55. This week, Kristen and Luke are joined by Jared Freid, comedian, podcast host, and writer. Jared talks about what it’s like doing stand-up comedy and his recent Netflix Special, ‘37 & Single.’ He discusses how he got started in his career, his collaborations with Betches, and thoughts on this season of The Bachelorette. What’s the secret to setting up your dating profile? Tune in to find out. Sponsors: New customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code DOUTE at LumeDeodorant.com.  For a limited time, get twenty percent off your first order by going to VEGAMOUR.com/doute and use code doute at check out. Download the DraftKings Casino app NOW, sign up with promo code DOUTE, and new customers get a deposit match up to ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS in casino credits when you deposit $5 or more! Get 15% off with the code DOUTE at Oneskin.co Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Email us: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi you guys, I'm Kat and I hope you come hang out with me on KatSatlerNow. On my weekly podcast, I continue to ask the questions. I've been interviewing people for more than 25 years now, but that doesn't mean I've found all the answers. Make sure to listen to KatSatlerNow, wherever you get your podcasts. What's Up Gorgeous People? Welcome back to another episode of Sex Love and What All Smatters. Hi Lou. Hi baby. We have a fucking kick ass hilarious guest who I'm just gonna let him talk the entire time I have a few questions, but Jared free So if any of you do not know Jared and I'm sure that you all do and you all need to follow him

Jared is first and foremost a comedian extraordinary and Podcast host of J Train for I don't even know like how long forever podcast host of J Train for I don't even know like how long forever. Also you have you up podcast and the Bachelor at which I cannot wait to talk about the Bachelor at with you. I know that you are a long time creative partner with Betches. Is that a good way to word it? Yeah. I would say that's a good way to put it right. Like back in the day Betches, but the biggest thing I want to talk about is your damn Netflix special that just came out called 37 and single and I've already watched it two and a half times. Oh, two and a half. That's like, that's two and a half times

more than my family. That's great. Thank you. It's hysterical. Like in years being my parents, she saw her the next day from all the laughing. It was an outworkout for sure. Thank you so much. It means a lot. And the feedback's been unbelievable. When you hear that, stand up is me. My thoughts, my opinions, my whole thing, and I'm hoping people will relate and enjoy and laugh.

And it's been really awesome to get such amazing feedback. And when you say two and a half times, I'm like, that's just like the greatest comment in the world, thank you. Oh yeah, and I have a friend in town and as soon as we're like done with this, I'm gonna just watch it again. I was just showing him your Instagram.

I was like, just watch a couple clips really fast before we jump on this podcast. It's just, it's so fucking funny. The Ickbit man is what had me more on the bass. I love the Ickbit. Just to like commend you because I have a lot of friends who are stand-up comedians. And I say by far, I stand firmly that doing stand-up comedy

is the hardest job in the entertainment industry. You have no one but yourself. It's a, you know, stand-up is a, it's just a, it's the most physical art form. You have to go and do it. You can't say you're a standup unless you write, go on stage, listen to the set, rewrite the set, and it doesn't happen quickly.

It's a slow churn, and you have to really want to work at it. So the world of standup gets kind of like infiltrated by people who just want to be on stage, and it's a little frustrating for someone who loves doing standup like I do, but then when it's good, it's the best feeling on stage. And it's a little frustrating for someone who loves doing stand-up like I do. But then when it's good, it's the best feeling in the world. It's great. But I think it's just a long process.

And writing one bit, there are bits on there that I was working out for 10 years. And there's also bits on that special that it was like a few months. It takes time and it's just an energy and like, it's a puzzle that you're always trying to solve. Like, I'm in Raleigh right now. I'm here to work on standup. I have a whole new hour from the special, which is like the greatest joy to like have people in the crowd that like that one thing, and then you can do like the part two. And yeah, so that's why I'm in Raleigh to work on material. Like, you have to go to Raleigh to work on your jokes. Like, or you have, you know, so I think it's hard,

but I don't, you know, it's not when someone's like, it's the hardest thing in the world. I'm like, I wouldn't be able to do, you know, anyone else's job, you know? This is the only thing I can do. Yeah, I just mean for me, like, as a, as a, like, a huge fan of comedy and love going to stand up shows, I just like, it's just you. You know, like you were explaining earlier.

For me, I'm like, well, you're in a band and like, let's say that the song on stage sucks. It's like, oh, the drummer's fault. Oh, yeah, the fucking guitar is fucked up. You, it's just you, you know, and so it's all on you to make everyone laugh and clearly you're just fucking killing it. So I just wanted to say hats off.

Thank you very much. When, believe me, when I bomb, whoo, that I feel it, you know, you got people looking at you like, why would you ever say that? You're like, I don't know why. Well, I think you also kind of revived comedy, you know, during the pandemic, a lot of like, columns are getting canceled. Like you're not allowed to say these things anymore. And you're tiptoe and back into it, you know, sometimes a crowd doesn't

respond really well, but you call them out and it's hilarious. I don't know. I really appreciate it. It's like this is real comedy again. Yeah, the pronoun bit was hysterical, the gender reveal, and like the pronoun reveal. I don't want to tell everybody all of your bits because you guys just have to watch this special, but like I totally agree with you Luke. Like it's, it has been frustrating as as comedy lovers to see that people have had to censor themselves so much. Right, I really truly believe that as far as stand-up is concerned, the people working at it

won't say anything wrong. Because I think sometimes when someone's like, oh, what do you guys offended? It can be a lazy joke. Lazyness can be insulting because you're not really taking into account, like there are feelings involved. And listen, I've said things on stage where I go, I don't like the way I sound.

I have to adjust it. You know, like, I think like sometimes when I hear the, like, we can't say anything before, we can't say anything anymore. I, to me, it's usually someone not working hard at making the jokes because you are in a stand-up room in a comedy club, especially the comedy seller. You're allowed to like spread your wings and and fail and failure is a part of getting to the place where you say something that you really want to say in the way you want

to say it that gets the most last. Like that's the thing also like with comics. I truly believe there's no one good, you know, good comedians. They're not there to make a point as much as they want you to laugh. So if you're not laughing, they're gonna readjust to make their point.

They're not gonna make their point in spite of you not laughing. And if they are, they're piece of shit to me. Like, people came, got babysitters, you know, and you're there to like change their mind, no, it's Saturday night. Like making fun of he's stupid, you know, like, totally. Yeah, I couldn't agree more with that.

Oh my God, I love it. So I wanna know how you got, like how did you get started with Betches? Have you always been a bachelor, a bachelor at fan or how did that all that start? For you, the bachelor at podcast? I just mean in general, being involved with Betches, the bachelor at podcast, how did all all that start? For you, the bachelor at podcast. I just mean in general, being involved with the bachelor at podcast, how did all of that come to be for you?

You know, when I was starting comedy, I always was very okay with the internet being another stage. You know, and I know comics were doing that more now they're putting out clips, they're putting out other things, but from day one, I was putting things on the internet because no one was casting me. I'm not, you know, good-looking enough to be the lead role and I'm not, you know, wacky looking enough to be the, you know, the funny friend.

So I wasn't going to get casted at anything, so I had to create my own venues. So that's why I started creating podcasts and, you know, putting up stuff like tweets on Instagram, people would make funny, you, oh, you put tweets on Instagram. I'm like, yeah, but they seem to get action. People really share them. And that just and I were introduced through the magic of Jewish geography. And when we got together, I've tried to work

with other platforms and other online plays because I just wanted to be a comedian. And I wanted to be able to kind of jump into someone's audience, make my funnies and then maybe some of them would become my audience. And Beth is the greatest working relationship I've ever had. It's always been upfront, it's always been real. Like, it's always been like, and I used to tweet something and I go, and I would text Jordana or Eileen or Sammy and I'd be like,

this feels like a betchy tweet. This feels like it's for you guys. And they'd be like, no Sammy and I'd be like, this feels like a betchy tweet. This feels like it's for you guys. And they'd be like, no, or they'd be like, oh yeah, that is. And it was like nothing. Like it was just like such a nice partnership because it's like, they want funny stuff for the people that follow them.

And I want to be funny for people. And then over the years, the relationship just kept getting closer and closer. And I actually had started my podcast like over a decade ago And then they were guests on my podcast and they were like we want to do this and I was like, yeah Why wouldn't you and then I've sent like one email? I did the littlest smallest favor in the world I was like here's some production people that are doing mine. They'll help you so then they started their podcast and then

I would be a guest on theirs and then I'm mine. And then one day they were like, we want to do a dating podcast from the male and female point of view. I was like, I'm doing kind of an advice show with Jay train. And they're like, we want the modern take from the male female point of view. And I was like, and they're like, you'll be the male. And you know, one of us and Jordan Anna, who has like a real interest in relationships and dating and also had her own insecurities with dating and relationships that she's very open about on the show, was like, I'll be the female. And we just got together and from day one, it was like really like a home run because

we're speaking to an audience that was looking to hear kind of a more honest take. You know, with dating apps and dating is supposed to be this group thing, but it's not. It's a very lonely thing. Dating is, you know, someone, especially a lot of the women that we have mainly female audience, like, they're killing it in every other form and facet of their life. And then this dating thing is like, why is this giving me trouble? It's supposed to be fun.

So I think what we do best, and I think the special does that as well as like, is to let people know like you're not alone. These are frustrations that are very real and totally okay to have. And also, there's a guy side of this that isn't as plotted, is as frustrated, is going through their own stuff too. And they're not the evil bad guy who knows everything he's doing or you know, they're just trying to get to the place for them too. So that's really where, and then when you upstarted from then on, we've just had like a really nice, wonderful working relationship,

but also a friendship, their family, Betches like I asked them to co-produce the special and they were like, yeah, of course. And like, homeless Pem is the director of the special, Mike Lavon. He like, like, all the people working on it that did it were friends and family. So like, that really means the world to me. And like, you know, the Betches are truly like the best and they get it so much. Yeah, hell yeah. Luke, I can't wait until next time

we go to New York and go to the batches office. Like I have been going to the batches office forever. I have the books. I have like my favorite workout shirt is not today, Satan, which is like, I don't know, 2012 batches. Yeah. Just forever ago. Okay, really quick, can we talk about the bachelor at?

Can we just talk about the season of the Bachelorette? What do you want to talk about? What do we think? Okay, so I am never a hater of, you know, those on reality TV because I know what that's like, but as a viewer, we have to just think about it, you know, as a viewer. I'm having a hard time with the season.

It's boring, it's a snooze fest. It's okay, really, it's okay, I don't think. It really is.. It's boring, it's a snooze fest. It's the only thing I don't think it really is. You know, they did it with Zach. You know, Zach, shall we rock? I hated that one too. Well, that's the thing. They've opted more towards romanticism and Disney rather than reality TV show,

which is what we want. Like the idea that we want drama, we want some wackadoos, we want some people to like, we want to like second guess where they're coming from. Are they here for the right reasons? Charity in Zach. And Zach was easy to make fun of because it was like, he became like the internet punching bag.

But to me, they're one and the same. They're two people who really just want to settle down and kind of just get married and do the thing they did before the the bachelor bachelor Right it doesn't I I don't think either of them are really thinking like Zach when I met him couldn't have been nicer and Really if you look at a social media now, which not a lot of people do It's just two people that seem to be in a relationship. Like they're pretty normal and they're in Austin. Like they didn't even go to LA. They didn't even go to San Diego.

So, you know, I used him as a reference because people were really like, who is this guy? And I was like, you end up just being this like, kind of like guy you went to college with who disappears into suburbia. You know, and I think the show, in that way, like the season you have charity

who's wonderful and seems like a great person. Oh yeah. And as doing a great job, but like, she's going to end up with another kind of form of Zach, which at some point, and they're going to settle down good for them. That's what the shows for. But I don't think it brought like the drama and the craziness that maybe sometimes we get with the show. But I so I'm with you. It's a little bit of a snooze fest. Yeah, I agree with that. It isn't charity. It's the dudes. It's like, where did you find these guys? Like, my god, I could not tell you probably one of their names. Right. I mean, I could, but I, you know, they, again, they're like,

they're kind of like Zach in the form of like, you know, maybe Aaron B, who came back and I will see what happens there. I don't watch spoilers. I don't watch. He's the one that just flew back to the one. The one that flew back. He's the only one that kind of like gives a little bit, like Hollywood. I'm kind of like looking to get a little screen time, but. Yeah. Do you think that he flew himself? Yeah. Do you think he paid for that flight to travel?

No, come on. I have. There's no way. I think he said I want to go. Yeah. Yeah. So to me, it's more interesting to think of charities kind of thing right now. Like charity can't end relationships unless the person's evil.

And that's kind of an interesting relationship flaw that a lot of people could relate to. They have to make the other person this grand horrific person. Cause like the example that I think of is Tanner. Tanner was the guy who was on the two on one date and then she gives out no rose. If you don't give out any rose or two on one,

you don't like either of them, get rid of them. You don't like these guys, that's okay. She didn't need this and how hard it is for her to end things is really like an interesting flight that not a lot of people like wanna admit to because she is in the morals universe. Like if we were going to compare morals, her morality is I want love. So no one's ever going to say that she's a bad person, but she's,

which he isn't. But I'm saying like with, with Xavier, Xavier's just like I, you know, I've cheated before. I want to let you know because he got cheating. And it's like that conversation got like weird to me. It's like, it got really dark and weird. Yeah. Right. I mean, Xavier didn't really speak on it really well. He kind of was like, yeah, no, what am I gonna do if I'm in the Caribbean and I see a woman's breasts and you're like, dude, say last, say last. Oh yeah, he just kept digging.

Yeah, just just like, think it, don't say it out loud. Save it for your bros, don't say it. You're not speaking to a vacuum right now, dude. Like you're on national television, talking to the girl you supposedly could engage, get engaged to. Right. And you just, and to me, like if you had said last, it's just a guy who's just not ready to get engaged.

And for sure. And it was him like, you know, you know, digging that grave, so to speak, but like, and then for her to say like, you know, in cheating, oh, she like hung on that cheating thing, which listen that morally the internet's always gonna agree with you. Like she literally said in it, she's like, well, cheating and marriage is horrible. And think, who does the phrase with you? There's no one in the world. That's, but that's kind of the internet thing. Like people on the internet say things love and hate. And they make sure that everyone agrees with them

There's no nuance. There's no context Then you know, and that's what I like watching the bachelor at the bachelor because I could see Xavier's a good guy who's made mistakes who doesn't know how to talk about those mistakes and isn't sure about charity Charity is sitting there going. Okay. Now I have a good reason to kick someone off And I don't have to feel bad that I gave up on a good hand of poker. You know, that's the fear, that's why people don't get out of relationships they know are just fine because they go, well, I don't want to look like an idiot forgiving up love. Who am I when I have someone who loves me to say no to love for someone that doesn't even

exist out there for a version of that? And I get into that in the special, and I talk about in the special how I end things before the next step when they don't feel right. And it's like, you know, you go, I don't have a good reason to end this relationship. I wish I had a good reason. I wish, you know, I've had, I've dated girls that are like, it would have been easier if you just, I walked it on you cheating on me. It's like, not for me, you know, like, I don't think, I don't want to be a, that's not what I want to do to someone. But then it's like, I understand that.

They want to have that grand reason that they don't look like they were frivolous with love. You know, and I think that goes back to charity and the badger that season. Oh yeah, it's like going, like tapping into your special and badger that, but totally, it's like, if you break up with somebody, it just as a chick, I'm like, but why?

But why? But I'm, wait, so what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Over and over and over in my head. And it's like, well, no, as I've gotten older, I'm 40 now. It's like, no, there is such a thing as like, it's not you, it's me.

Like, or I just don't, I'm just not into you. I'm like, I'm really sorry. I just don't, I don't see this going further. I just don't see this going further. I see this going further. I'm just, I see this going further. I see this going further. I see this going further. Right, I'm just not into you. I'm like, I'm really sorry. But how do I say that was up breaking your fucking heart? Right, I can't get there. And I don't know why. And I wish it was, and it's not personal.

And again, it's easier when you're like, I hate this fucking person. And I think that's why a lot of times, not to like make it all gendered, but it's like women try again and again with the same guy. Oh yeah. Who they know, because they're trying to change it because they're like, I got them in front of me.

I got the audience. You know, like I'm not, and you hear from your friends the apps and how horrible they are. And you go, I don't want to go to Scary Appland. I want to stay here in the comfy cozy land of this mediocre relationship. Totally.

Yeah, Scary Appland is a real thing, man. I mean, I was on hinge before Luke and I started dating, strictly because I had COVID and I was bored. I was like, this is a fun game. Don't let summer fun crew in your summer fun. This year it's time to summer proof your body odor and luckily there is a solution. That's why today I am so excited to tell you

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The only fun stories to tell are the scary appland stories, not like the scary, I mean like the funny, stupid ones where a guy acts like a dick or someone says something weird. Like those are the only stories you tell because there's the only ones that entertain. You know, the we had, we met on Hinge and it's been great ever since. No one wants to hear that story.

That's not even a fun story. Where's the conflict? Yeah, you're like, oh, that's cool, awesome. Cool love. Who gives the fuck? Tell me about the guy who sent a dick pick, you know? Exactly. Are you on dating apps?

I am. I kind of got off of most of them. How many were you on at one time? Two, I kind of, I was only on two. I, I, I, Hinge and Raya were the two. I think Hinge is the best one. Raya's a, a nightclub everyone wants to get into, but nobody dances.

Yeah. You know, I like Hinge the most because of the prompts. I think it's like you get to be the most you and a Internet way and that's where you know, I talk a lot of them the special about like the thing Those are all frustrations with hinge, but they're frustrations because you know, there's people playing it safe on there They'll write prompt answers that like anyone could give and then there's people like you know that And you end up seeing the same thing over and over again. That's where your frustration lies

because you're like, I don't wanna leave the house for anything less than spectacular for me. And for me is a big important part of that sentence. Like, I think as you get older, it's like, I'm just, I know what I want. I know what I wanna feel. I know what I'm looking for. And that holds you back on a dating app. You know, that's the part that makes you go, you know what I want. I know what I want to feel. I know what I'm looking for. And that holds you back on a dating app.

You know, that's the part that makes you go, you know, I don't know, they don't have, you know, they live in Hoboken. I live in Manhattan. How could I, we have two different people? You know, like it's one of those different things. That's so true. Is it true that Raya, like, you don't match with people like in your neighborhood, like in your area?

That's the weird part. Raya, like, it'll be like, oh,'t match with people like in your neighborhood, like in your area. That's the weird part. Raya, like it'll be like, oh, you match with somebody in hungry and you're like, what was cool? You know, like I don't know. Now what? You know, like, yeah. They're like from Iowa currently lives in Sydney, Australia.

And I'm like, well, then what the fuck am I wasting my time for? Right. I have one in Raya, like it looks AI-generated too. Like, it's just like, the pictures are like, like, wait a minute, you do photoshoots for a marketing job? Like, I don't know.

It's like, it's very bizarre on there. I, I, I don't know. I think, you know, myself, like everyone else, we want to meet through. Everyone wants off the app. The app is a crutch. You know, the app is a way to be out, but not out. You know, and also it's the thing your friends tell you

to do to stop you from complaining and to shut you the fuck up. I told you too. If you're not on the dating app, it's like you're not working at it. It's like, well, that's not true. You know, the dating app is a piece of the pie, but like, if you go to your friends, it's like you're not working at it. It's like, well, that's not true. You know, the dating apps are piece of the pie, but like, if you go to your friends, you're like,

ah, you know, they're like, who you seeing? And you're like, no one. And they're like, well, and you're like, say no one, like, do you know? So like, go ahead, pitch me some ideas. And they're like, well, are you on the dating apps? And you're like, and if you ever say no to them, they're like, what are you, then what are you doing?

It's like, I'm trying to be a human being who has interactions with people in a genuine way. I got to know. I feel like clearly you don't want love, Jared. Right, clearly. And it's such an unfair thing. People do that to single people all the time. Like, oh, well, yeah, you know,

if you're not gonna help yourself, then, you know, and you're like, you know, it's like the most, that's when you know that's not like a, that's not a front who's ever going to help you. You know what I'm saying? That's your married friend. It's the married women in the, like women in relationships favorite thing to do

is to grab their single friend's phone and start swiping for them. And I think it's so funny. I hate that so much. I'm not a fucking stop it. I hate that so much. You feel like you're there, like, that is, I'll tell you a story.

I match with this girl and I was looking at her profile and you go, you know, you see a match, you do get attached to matches sometimes. You go, this is someone I see it. And then you get frustrated by that too in the other direction, because you're like, hey, how are you? And then they don't answer, you're like,

just circling back. Kind of thought, you were kind of my type. And then so this was years ago. I was on an app. I don't even remember which one it was, but I matched with this woman. And we went to the same college. And we had a lot of mutual friends.

That was back when Hinge was more of the friend of a friend app. You had to have some people in common. So it was Hinge. And I matched with this girl. And I'm starting to, Jordania Abraham,ia Abraham my coast on you up in the batches They have a they call it emotional masturbation when you start like Seeing it before it even happens. So I'm emotionally masturbating and I'm like, you know what?

All I and I said hi and I didn't get an answer So I texted my buddy we had in common He like and I saw that they were like Facebook friends and like I was like, okay, I go, hey man, I match with this goal. What's her deal? I wrote something and didn't get an answer. You know what her deal is.

So then he got, you know, he's a friend. He goes and does some investigation. He called, he texted me a day later. He's like, hey man, tough, tough break, but she said her friend was playing with the app He likes me a day later. He's like, hey man, tough, tough break, but she said her friend was playing with the app and that's how you guys matched and she was just gonna ignore it.

I'm like, oh my God, it's like so embarrassing. I felt like a pawn in this weird game, puppeteer, whatever. And on a dating app, you rarely get turned down. Like you rarely feel turned down. They were created to avoid getting turned down. They were created by male nerds and I say that in a loving way, but they were creating by male nerds who didn't want to leave the house, who didn't want to go out, who wanted to go up to women where it was safe, and they knew it would be safe. So that's what these were created for.

So it is because when you even know, when you swipe, swipe left is a no, swipe right is a yes, and if you don't get a max right away, what do you think? Oh, they haven't seen me yet. So you don't think like that they look at you and are like, oh, you never think of that. So you go to the safest place. So it was that what, it was like a very rare moment

where I had gotten dumped on a dating app and I was like, oh, and I just think of that friend playing, like, oh, this is fun. And I'm like, my life is in the, is in the, is that steak? I just had this conversation with one of my girlfriends the other day or she's like, finally, over her ex after last year, like she thinks she's ready to start getting on the apps, which she's like kind of afraid and she's in her late 20s. And I'm like, girl, I love playing that game.

I love playing with apps. Do you want to go to Happy Hour and give me your phone? I'll buy and just let me play for you. And she was like, that would be so much fun. I would love that. So I'm totally that fucking asshole. I mean, and listen, in your defense, they're made to look like slot machines.

They're made for like a dopamine rush. Like, you know, it's made to make anyone feel that. Like you get a match for her, you go, woo! Let's open it up. Open it up, woo! What's he, let's open it up. Open it up. Ooh, what's he do? What's his age?

What does other pictures look like? What's his fronks like? Because we started looks whether you want to admit that or not or whether you're a cop. Yeah, like I mean like again, the internet comments or we'll go, oh, it's all about looks. Yes, it is. Sorry, you know, tough shit.

You know, so, but also there's no such thing as bad looks to me. Everyone has a look for someone. And you know, there's men masturbating to feet. There's, so they're masturbating to feet so much that there's a hyperlink on a porn website that takes you quicker to the feet. So, so do you are someone's foot?

You are a version for someone out there. So, the idea, you know, so when we get into this looks conversation, I hate these people there, which is like, well, no, no, no, that's the app. We're doing that. We're swiping in real time too. You go to a bar, you make eye contact with people,

you avoid eye contact with other people. So, yeah, so, but it is fun, these apps. Like, you, and then you get the fun stops because you're like, wait a minute. There should be another level here. Why am I always on level one? I agree. Did that with actually that would expand it so much more. It'd be so fun. If you do graduate to a level, you hit a hundred matches. Now you unlocked, you know, the next. Yeah, but they're like for an additional 29 99 per month. Then you can unlock level two, the next. Yeah, but they're like, for an additional 29.99 per month, then you can unlock level two.

People would pay. I always thought there would be a fun idea for a bar called Red Light Green Light, where you could take a date to the bar, and in your hand you get a clicker, and it would be three rooms. The first room was like a bar with just like stand up tables, like no chairs, but like a bar. And then the second room would be couches and like more. And if you hit green light, once your partner's that green light, you go to the next bar.

And the next bar was like a little bit cozier. The lights went down a little bit. There's passed around on derbs and there's couches. And then if you both hit green light, you go to the next room, which is a bedroom, and you can just get the fuck. You go to the boom boom room. Right. So, like, I don't know,

but if you hit red light on them, a bounce that would come and just shove them out of the place and then they'd go to another bar and all the singles, all the people that was red lighted, they'd go to another bar where they could go out and beat someone new. And you go back to the end of the game. So it really is a game.

We're all in a green. Oh, that sounds great. We did stoplight parties in college, where you wear the color of red, yellow or green. And yellow is like, I don't know if I'm ready to date. Green is like, I'm available red. I'm in a relationship. What the hell are you going to the party if you're in a relationship for a bunch of single- Because your friends are having a party.

Oh, okay. That's where you're going to the party. I was like, that sounds boring. Well, you're the ones that could pass people off. I don't know. Exactly. Sometimes you need a friendly introduction. Yeah.

The swing game. That too. The swing game. Yeah, I would say you're the wing man. If you have the red on, you're just the wing man. Right. All right, that's fair. Do you have a go-to when you have to reach out to someone?

Like, what do you say? Do you just go, like, hey, what's up? And hopefully, they say something funny back. Because that's what that's my go-to is. to reach out to someone. Like, what do you say? Do you just go like, hey, what's up? And hopefully they say something funny back. Cause that's what that's my go-to is, like, hey, how are your haylets up? And I didn't get something fucking cool and funny back. I'm like, bye.

My thought on that was always, people always ask for like good opening lines on dating apps especially. My thing is always make it specific to their profile. I don't think, hey, what's up is a bad intro. Like, let's just get it going. I hate when people hate on that. I don't think it's bad. Just how is the weekend? I don't think it's bad. Hey, how are you? I don't think it's bad. I think just let's get it moving. I do think if you want to be specific, a dating app profile is literally someone's art project. It is literally someone something they made.

We are all millennial narcissists, okay? We want people to comment on the things we made. We want the artwork on the fridge. So when you come on a dating app and you see someone's profile and you see they like, they're at the beach. Talk about the beach. Like just talk about something on their profile. Like, and if nothing jumps out of you,

maybe you're not, you don't wanna talk to them. You know, like I, I kinda have that thought. Like, or maybe they're not really good, cause I do think your prompts are really where you score. Like if you answer a prompt with I, not you, I, and you give an I statement where you're vulnerable and someone jumps onto that, that's more match than not match.

Like to me, like if you say like I like getting to the beach before 10 a.m. and having my first drink at noon. Okay, now if I wrote back to that, which I think that's a good prop, it's a little vague, but it's a little specific. You like the beach, you gave times of the day. If I wrote back that, what's the noon drink? Now I'm actively engaging with you on something you brought up. Like to me, on a dating app, the biggest mistake we all make, and I am guilty of this, is trying to get a lot of matches.

So when people try to get a lot of matches, yeah, now you get exhausted, now you're talking a lot of piece of shit, now you're talking to people who just want sex and you haven't made it difficult for them. You wanna put that line out so, even when you get a match, and then you know, you match because it looks, and then they go, hey, what's hey what's your noon drink you go oh they snagged the line and now you're

having a like an actual conversation that might happen in a bar like I and it's I think it's I think we look past that because you know it's there's less of that you're and you know the apps the the the illusion is more more more is better but it's not. Yeah, no, I totally fucking agree. Yeah, I agree. Also, like you said, if you do a nondescript kind of profile, trying to be like, oh, I don't want to offend anybody,

you're not going to attract anybody either. You need to be who you are, so you've got a single line out. Yeah. You've got to make a profile that people would say no to. Exactly. And that's kind of counterintuitive. Yeah, mine would be like, usually don't wash my makeup off before I go to bed if I'm being honest and sometimes I brush

my teeth with listerine. How's your day? Love it. Love it. Love it. What type of listerine? You don't get into that. Like, you know, all that stuff. Like, you don't use toothpaste. That's crazy. You know, like someone could get into that. I mean, I was fucking hope not. Do you ever, so you said like your friend, for example, is like investigated people for you. For me, when I was on dating apps, immediately, if they didn't have their social media handle, I'm like, all right, I can find this dude.

I can find him. First name, city he lives in, gonna find him for sure. And I need to do the stocking. I need to see if we have mutual friends. I need to make sure he didn't like, fuck one of my friends or go on a date with her recently. And I just didn't know about it. Do you like pre-stock or pre-investigate any of your dates?

I think we have to live in a world where we all do that. I think if you don't, you're not, I'll say a couple things. Women think men don't know how to do this or don't think you're not, I'll say a couple things. Women think men don't know how to do this or don't think to do this. They're wrong. They're just wrong. We're just like you. We're looking everyone up.

They, women allow men this blissful naivete that they let us off the hook in every aspect of dating. And I think it's a mistake. So just know that if you do it there doing it and if you know, so we're all doing levels of it, not to say we're doing the same amount. I do think you can go too far where you're looking down you know, in their past and then you go on the date

and the whole date is just you faking it being like, oh, oh, is your parents divorced? And it's like, you saw the picture of the guy tagged Rob and not dad Like you knew. You know? Like, so I do think sometimes this stuff reveals things about you to me anyways. I remember one on a date once and I was like,

we had a mutual friend. And the mutual friend, I was like, oh my God, you know this person. We like before the first date, I told the, we figured out that I was going on a date with their friend. So I was like, oh my God, you know this person. We like, before the first date, I told the, we figured out that I was going on a date with their friend. So I was like, oh, cool. That's great.

I was actually more excited about it. I was like, we have someone in common. That's kind of like, if I like the person that I'm talking to, then I'm sure to like this other person. And then we went on the date and I actually said something like, I had to like, before the date, I had to like make sure we had the right timing because I had shows that night and I go hey I just want to let you know like I'm down for like if you don't mind getting together early

I have shows at nine can we do six and they're like no prop So I get to the date and I'm like thanks for changing up the times and I'm like so our friend You know Lauren our mutual friend and she and she goes, she told me about you, she said that you knew each other and I just told her, don't say another word. I don't wanna know. So I don't know anything about you. And I go, well, that's kind of weird to me.

Yeah. To me, like, what are you afraid of? It was like my first thought. You know, you go, to me, that was like a tell of like, I'm having a, like I really fucking hate dating. Cause you're like, I don't need to know one thing that will make me not excited to go on the date. It's like, maybe you shouldn't be dating at that point.

Yeah. You know, because you go, cause when I heard friend, I go, great. I'm actually pumped. I think you should be excited for a first date. And it's an icebreaker. It's like an easy conversation starter. Like, oh, you know. I think you should be excited for a first date. And it's an icebreaker. It's like an easy conversation starter. Like, oh, you know how do you know?

Oh, you guys went to college or whatever the fuck they know each other from. It's just such an easy conversation icebreaker. Right, and also we be past, like I think, in the beginning of the day you go, I know this, you know that. Let's get some, you know, let's be on day two conversations as opposed to day one.

I'm not saying a rush. I'm just saying, like, I think of there was, because she goes, I don't, I thought you said you were going, like, I go, well, and then it took like an hour later. I'm like, so I'm a comedian and she's like, oh, what? And I go, I go, well, and she's like, I thought you meant you're going like a Broadway show tonight. I'm like, that just can't be, I'm going to my own show. Yeah, it can't be true. I was like, we are so behind that at this point, I don't want to do this. Like, yeah, you're like, we're, we're a really before date one now. It's like even weirder.

So it was a little like bizarre, but it also told me a lot about like, first of all, we're not the magic. That made me feel like this person wasn't ready to really get out there yet. And again like I'm not looking to like fix up you know whatever I'm not looking to talk shit I'm just saying like I get it like but but right now like so as far as like looking someone up like I think you like looking someone up is normal I think also to say to someone I looked you up I saw this this was cool I saw this what this was cool. I saw this, what's this all about? I think that's like, we have to live in 2023 reality. And if you don't, then you kind of look like you're afraid of living in 2023.

Because when I see someone had a birthday on Instagram stories, I say to them, hey, I saw you went out for your birthday. That's so cool, good for you, happy birthday. If I was like, so how was your weekend? And I'm like, doing this act. Like, I'm not living in reality. Yeah, totally.

That's such a good fucking point. But it is, and people also get creeped out though. You say that and be like, oh, you, how do you watch my story? And it's like your socials on the stupid app. You know, I don't know. I've run into that stuff. I'm from the Midwest and they're always like a few years behind,

you know, the West Coast or even Denver East Coast, everywhere else is ahead of the Midwest. So you do something like that. That could be a immediate like turn off like, oh, dude, is this guy a stalker? Like, how does he know all this stuff? Like, they don't at least my experience a couple of years ago, Dave, was bat ran into that. You make a comment and you got to try to tool a line to not be like, oh, I know everything

about you because I looked you up. Yeah, I think it's like a, there's like a, toveline's a great way to put it because I think there's like, there's a little bit of like class to it, you know, you have to like, you have to walk the tight wire, but it's like, I looked you up is not like, I went down to like 17 years ago in your pictures.

Like, I let you up, it looks like you do this. What's going on? And if they have an open profile, like, that is also like one of those things You go it is open to the world. They know that they made it open You know like and especially if someone's a public person as you know for me as a comedian if someone said that to me I am putting myself out there to be seen so like that's kind of a different story than like Hey, I went to your Facebook and saw the first post you ever

did. I don't know. I think there's like a way to do it. If I follow someone on Instagram, I think it's if someone follows me on Instagram, like I have people that are like, oh, I don't want to act like a stalker, but I saw, you know, I feel like I know that you were at this place today. I'm like, yeah, you know, I was at that place today because I put it out there that I was at that place today. Like, it'd be weird to be like, what? Yeah. Dude, I'm not saying it's not weird. It is totally weird.

People are weird sometimes, you know? You bring it up, you see their story, and they're like, how do you know that? That's all your story. They're like, oh, so you're already watching my story. I'm gonna go on out of date yet. I'm like, okay, listen, going anywhere. Right, they ain't gonna go anywhere.

Like, again, they wanna live in two different realities. They wanna live in the 50s where, can I pick up Rachel, Mr. Smith? You know, like, with a flower knocking at the door and it's like, okay, good luck. Yeah, and I'm the girl who's like, oh shit, I call like my best friend. I'm like, oh God, Brittany, I had too many glasses of wine.

And I accidentally liked his ex-girlfriends photo that he was tagged. And then I unliked it. But do you think she has notifications? And she can tell him. So what we're saying, listeners, is there's a, there's a line in between these two things. Right. I think if it's out there, it's out there. We all know it is like to be weirded out, I don't know.

It's let it happen, you know, I don't know. And also if that's not your cup of tea, good. The faster you know the more you know, they're not your match. Yeah, do you find it difficult because you're a comedian, like touring comedian? Is that ever hard like when you've had girlfriends or you've been dating girls like,

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that out there as a person. But the time thing is tough, because like, what ends up happening is like, you go on a couple dates and then you have this like big, like a two week window and it's like, I always say in the podcast, like beware of vacations, beware of birthdays, beware of holidays, beware of global pandemics because those things create space and opportunity to go like to lose your momentum to forget To really not feel like you you know, you know, I don't know like a birthday because if you go through a birthday together You've automatically gone more serious whether you want to admit that or not If you go through a holiday together and you do something together

You've gotten more serious whether your life that are not the thing for me is like sometimes you go on a couple of days and you're like great and then you go away a couple weeks and you kind of forget the feeling of how great it was and you go well if I forgot that maybe I'm not that into it and I should back away. And then on the other side of that you go on a couple of days and then you go and you do something else and then it's like you're in third day territory but you're like hey wanna come meet me and do something cool where we can go. You kind of do some events that might be three-month territory and with travel and stuff and with schedules that are kind of up in the air and you guys know this. Hey, want to come meet me and this town and we'll go hang out and get dinner and do the

whole thing and you go, that's a good way to get to know each other quicker, but it's also a really tough way to get to know someone and not feel like you're leading them on. You know what I mean? No, that makes sense. Yeah, our relationship kind of had jet fuel as far as literally. We can just go on vacation for a week together, spend every minute and then not see each other for a month.

It's like kind of how our relationship started. Well, because we do a lot of distance. Yeah, I live in Colorado, typically, but I'm here because I guess I have some work here now, including others in the podcast. But yeah, it was a wild like that. It's like, okay, we're not, we're saying we're not dating, but we spend a week straight together like once a month. You guys, you totally get it.

Like that's one of those things that like, especially in the comedy world, like, oh, I got a week off and I'm kind of like chilling and then like, hey, Netflix bought my special, I'm about to go like on every podcast that's ever been made and I need to like go to, you know, to Charleston to visit a, you know, visit a podcast and I need to go fly here and let's do

Dinner on Tuesday, but then I can't go for a couple. We you know like there's like things that come up And I'm and I'm happier now because like I'm starting to like back off of some things and open up more time but Yet time is really the hardest thing because time and effort are kind of what shows someone how much you care when you can't do it and you say you want to, you can only say that for so long. Yeah, that's true. So how do you feel about bachelor and paradise coming up, switching gears a little bit because I'm really fucking excited. That's my favorite of all three. I like bachelor and paradise.

I never it was, it was, it was tough for me to get into it first. I don't like when they're part of the joke and that kind of felt like they were I like to make fun I do like when it's romance is that that intro and especially yeah, the intro always turned me off I was like I'm the Joker fuck you guys, you know like whatever it's grown on me I do like the live tinder aspect. I think they need to like Have a bell on the beach that when you say you're in a relationship with someone, you ring the bell and then you go off to another part of the island or go home

and we check in with you to see how it goes once you get your cell phones back. Like I think that would be, I think it, because I think the ending needing an engagement, like recently, the engagement, they don't play for me. I don't really care about the engagement. They all break up anyways, mostly.

Mostly. Yeah. So bachelor's, I'm more excited, Golden Bachelor. Like I think Golden Bachelor is going to be fantastic. I hated the idea of it when I used to see the commercials for casting and now that they have introduced the new Golden Bachelor to us. I'm like, okay, number one, pull up my fucking heart strings, right? And he's obviously like super handsome and he's hysterical because he's like, social media, what? Like really, honestly, like I'm sure

it dude has probably a Facebook that he has 20 followers. It's like his friends from when he was like 40s or something like that. I'm like, I haven't even heard about this. You gotta pick, I don't know what is going on. Do you wanna explain to him? They're gonna have a bachelor who's in his seventies. And that's basically it.

Like that's the premise. And then they are bringing on, you know, we don't know the cast yet. No, we don't. So that kind of like the thing, everyone's like really curious, like is it gonna be age or age? Well, one of the ages of the women,

what are their back stories gonna be? But they, with the guy they chose, they chose the perfect candidate because he's a guy who's, you know, and he has this story where his wife had passed away, they were high school sweethearts, he's saying he seems like he's been trained in media. Oh totally.

Like, maybe that's why it took so long to start this show. They were training him like, you training him in a bunker or something because he had his... Yeah, he had his... Mental all, he was like perfection. Perfection. And he's an act of 71 year old man. So I'm interested in it because I think what it does is it puts the reality back in reality TV.

Like you're going to have older people who like, I don't think they're gonna be there like trying to get attention, but I also don't think they're gonna be there not trying to get attention and thank you. Right, they're not trying to be influencers, we know that for the most, well we think, I mean he's not, but yeah, I'm really curious like, are all the women going to be closer to his age, or they going to like toss in a 40 year old or 40. Sure, there'll be women in their 40s. I'm like positive. I don't know. I want to see a woman in her 20s. I want to see what happens. Just see how angry everyone gets.

Like I just think it'll be hilarious. I don't know. It's to me like the bachelor universe is a petri dish and you throw these elements in there and kind of see how they bounce off of each other. And like, to me, a 71-year-old man with some older women, it's great. Like, I'm just so excited. Like, I think that's like a, you know, that's a Petri dish I've never seen before, so I'm excited. No, I'm really fucking stoked for it.

Is that coming out after Bachelor of Paradise? No, I think they're gonna be running like that on Mondays and Bachelor of Paradise on Tuesdays. It's gonna be like, it's gonna be a lot. Like my life is gonna be overtaken. And maybe, I, years for work purposes for your podcast, but mine, there goes my life.

I'm like, sorry, we forgot to record our podcast this week, but I can't handle that there's two Bachelor seasons going on at the same time. Absolutely. Oh, that's my favorite shit. Oh man, you know, our followers actually want us to recap some bachelor stuff. Like, we've been asked specifically to do that sort of thing.

We could do like a joint episode with your podcast, Bachelor Red, and talk about all of it, Bachelor of Paradise, and Golden Bachelor. I don't know. If you were open to that, that'd be a lot of fun. Go through the whole thing. We gotta go through the whole universe. Yeah.

Luke's and Luke's really brand new to this. I forced him to watch Bachelor in Paradise last season. He was like, okay, this is kind of entertaining. They're kind of fucking messy and I can get into this. And then when it just came to his first experience was with Zach as the Bachelor and then Charity as Bachelor at. And he was like, yeah. Who was my first experience?

So my family, my sisters pulled me in when they started the fantasy, you know, like fantasy football, they had fantasy bats, and that, I mean, made it a game. I'm like, okay, who's gonna get eliminated? Who's gonna say this? And it made it fun for me and that lasted like one season, but I was busy in the middle of nowhere in Colorado.

After that, you gotta watch on my Instagram story. So all my Instagram stories is I yell at the bachelor and it's like a spark notes version of the show. So you get done with it in like 10 minutes, but it's just me yelling at the TV and making fun of it all. It's so fucking funny. It's fucking hysterical, dude.

Okay, so what's going on with you now? So your Netflix special just came out. Are you, you're in Rally, obviously, you're still doing shows. Are you touring? Are you just choosing kind of spots to go because you want to just keep working on your craft? Which is true.

I don't get much choice in the matter. I just say, it's really yes or no, but I'm going to like, Blacksington, Kentucky. I'm going, I got a bunch of days coming up. Yeah, I'm going to Huntington Long Island, Atlanta. I'm doing shows hunt in Tintin, Kentucky. I'm going to hunt in Tintin, coming up. Yeah, I'm going to hunt in Tintin, Long Island, Atlanta, doing shows and Philly. I'm doing a couple of theaters, Baltimore.

I'm all over the country, Portland, Oregon. Are you gonna be in LA or no because you were just here? I was just there, but you know, LA is like a different beast. Like LA in New York, like as far as doing an hour's concerned on stage. Like I always like kind of wait for that to like go do it because you want to do like a big whatever. Right. But I'll get there. It'll happen. I mean right now I have an hour of material that's different than the special.

So I'm working on that and I'm out there, you know, I'm on the road. I go to JaredFree.com if anyone wants to come to a live show. So at the end of the special, you saw my parents in the credits. So I put hidden cameras in the green room to tape my parents like yelling at me. And I just wanted to like, I just thought it would be funny because remember I, my mom is wild. So like when I go down to the bokeh and I visit them, I'm always taping them. I'm always making fun of them. So I was like, let me do this fun thing where I'll put hidden cameras in the green room and I'll get them like what we do.

And the whole idea was to get my parents yelling at me and then it was going to smash cut to, I'm 37 and single. But we, it just didn't work because I was like, I'm an unknown person, I'm an unknown comic. Let's get to the funny and then we'll get to my parents at the end. So in the credits we had my parents, my mom was like, your mom is hysterical. She's a character. She's a total character. So what I've now called it is like the MCU, like the Marvel movies. You know how they have that post-credits scene that people wait for

to see what the next movie's about? So that's kind of my Marvel post-credits scene because the whole new hour is about going on vacation with my parents. And I talk about like my dad and our relationship, my mom and our relationship, and then just this whole story about going to the beach. And it has been so much fun to like do the jokes and tell the stories and watch people with their parents, or they're like significant other and like, try to hit their boyfriend or their girlfriend or they, their mom, they're like, you do that shit, you piece of fucking shit.

That was Luke and I be in the entire time. On the couch, I was and you just see like the girlfriend or fiance or wife just looking at the guy that they're with and I just I'm thinking of one couple last night just like they kept looking at each other and she kept going see see see see and I was just like this is like it so I'm really excited about it. I hope it's the next special. I hope I get to make it. Are you the only child?

I have a younger brother. Oh, okay. I dated a Jewish guy who's an only child. So I know. I mean, that's a different family. Grandparents live down with me. No, but like grandma lives down, like family lives down like Booka and like that whole area.

It's just like I felt every word about dating a Jewish guy who's like family goes to Boka. I was like, oh my god, this is like my last relationship to a fucking tea. And me growing up in the Midwest, I said, so what's Boka? Yeah, you're the, you're the, you weren't the opposite side of the spectrum here with Luke. I, I, it's so funny, the amount of messages I'm getting, like from people being like, I send it to my mom, you know, the Jewish mom part, the Jewish woman thing, and they were like, and then the mom writes me,

like I, like, so I heard you talking about us, you know, like, like, like, you know, like, like, Oh, it's so good. We're gonna watch it. You're especially again, absolutely. No, better than that. Thank you.

I really appreciate that. Yeah, this is so nice. I appreciate you guys having me on. This is amazing. Dude, you're fucking hysterical. Everybody go to Jared's website, catch him on tour. Everybody watching the his Netflix special 37 and single, I swear to God, you're gonna watch it time and time again.

You're gonna show it to all your friends and family, podcasting like crazy still, like you are, I can't believe you're not running on empty dude. Like, I'm so proud. I'm so stoked to see you. I'm so proud, but you can see right now in the camera, I need a shower and a shave, so I'm sorry, but.

Hey man, kudos to you though, season the moment. You're not like gonna let this thing slide by. You got your Netflix special, you're hitting every podcast in America, and everyone's gonna know who you are, man. You're gonna be right. Hell yeah. I'm getting out there, so hopefully people

come to the shows, that's really all I... Oh, I can't wait to see you live. That's what's gonna happen. Yeah, we gotta make it happen. We gotta get you guys to a show, we gotta do it. Hell yeah. Well, everybody follow Jared on social media, listen to Jay Train, you up, the Bachelor at Netflix,

Special 37 and Single and go see him live and then I'm sure there's just gonna be a shit ton more. And definitely watch all of his Instagram stories because I just has me fucking realing, dude. You're amazing. Thank you, thank you. Thanks so much for coming on and yeah, I can't wait to talk to you soon. You guys are the best, thank you. Thanks so much for coming on and yeah, get ready to talk to you soon.

You guys are the best. Thank you so much. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Dodie and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke Double Under Score Broadred. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes every single Wednesday. Thanks for listening. See you next week.