Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - Are We Healing or Enabling?! with Zack Wickham

Episode Date: February 14, 2026

Episode 177. This week on Balancing Act, Kristen is joined by bestie, Zack Wickham, to talk all about their friendship — and what you don’t see on The Valley. They share how they met, their first impressions, the early VPR days, and how their bond grew behind the scenes. Zack opens up about moving to LA and finding his chosen family, while Kristen reveals her favorite things about him. They also talk skincare secrets, surprising fun facts, and clear up misconceptions about their friendship. Plus, listener questions and a rapid-fire round to wrap it all up. Sponsors: Arey: For a limited time, our listeners get 15% off at Arey by using code KRISTEN at Arey.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You might be tempted to let Taco Bell's new Lux value menu go to your head. Because 10 indulgences for $5 or less makes you feel fancy. Like you might think you need cloth napkins. Well, you don't. Just use the ones that come in the bag. Don't let the lux go to your head. Welcome back to another episode of balancing nap. Today's guess is the incomparable Zach Wickham.

Yes, my best friend, my emotional support human by far. Clump it on. What are some other adjectives? Probably the only person who knows where all of my metaphorical bodies are buried. Metaphorical and otherwise and funniest friend that you would ever have. You actually are my funniest friend. I know. Thank you.

I'm trying to think who would even be mad at me. The only person that would be mad at me for saying that is my sister, but I said friend, not sibling. Yeah. So she can't get mad technically. Yeah. Because she would kill me too. That's true. She would kill both of us.

Well, I'm so excited you're here. So excited. This studio is beautiful. I know. I love it. We're on video. It only took you 20 years of me begging you to go to the studio. I know.

And having you on, I was like, we cannot just do our voices. Like, on the Valley, your face is everything. I wish it wasn't sometimes. You're all over Instagram. It fills my heart with so much joy that people outside of our circle get to experience your expressions. It's been a thing my entire life where it's just so natural. And I think especially in the beginning, people didn't realize that that is just how my face is.

And I think they think that I was acting or I was like hamming it up for the cam. But really it's just like, I'm sorry, that is me and my face at all times. Okay. So I wasn't going to do this right away. But since you said like, this has been. you always. I text to, I'm just going to start with it. I text your mom. Oh my God. Why'd you this morning? Just wanted to get like a little something, something from Mama Robin. Oh my God. I'm dead. First of all, I text your mom and said like I said, I'm having our favorite person on the

podcast today. Like, you know, et cetera, et cetera. Like was he super sensitive? Was he always like this? Like from your POV? Like, what's give me a little something from little about little Zach? And on my way here, I get a text back that says, who's our favorite person? And I'm like, does my mom not know? I'm like, you're an only child. Like, what the hell? And I realized I text a friend of mine named Robin. So I'm like, okay.

But you texted some random person? A friend. I'm dead. Just a friend of mine who's like, what are you talking about? So then I text your mom. Anyway, I just want to open with, I just want to read something your mom said. Okay. Oh, God.

Just in totality. I am so scared. It's just a paragraph and it's. Epic. Okay, your mom said he was always full of energy and never met a stranger. He was very comfortable around kids and adults. I guess because he was an only child. When his teacher would tell the class to do quiet work, everyone would get settled and then Zach would go up to the teachers and ask, how are they doing, just carrying on a regular conversation. He never thought she meant for him to work quietly. And I still don't. And I think everybody knows that about me.

I thought it was just the cutest, like, sweetest thing. That's hilarious. I'm dead. Yeah. So, like, I'm dead. Because you are who you are and, like, what you see is what you get. And we're not allowed to talk about the freaking valley. But I just really want people to know.

Season three eventually. Even though there's been a teaser. And there's one playing on the Olympics. That we cannot find. That I cannot find. If any fan would like to find it and send it to us, we would love someone to tag. It's like a 30-second teaser. We cannot find it.

So we can't talk about the show, but why I love having you on is because even though I think, obviously, your popularity has increased immensely as it's so well deserved. I really want people to know you, you, you, you, if you don't get the screen time you deserve. You know what I mean? Oh, my God. Kristen, don't make me cry five minutes into your podcast. I'll make you cry later. Oh, God.

Okay, so before we get into like you and me and us and all of our fun stuff, the last two days have been so much fun. Let's talk about the Bad Bunny concert. The Super Bowl, number one, I didn't even know it was the Super Bowl until I was with Sheena and she was like, what are you doing for the Super Bowl tomorrow? And I was like, oh, that's tomorrow? Oh, yeah, nothing. And then not even 30 minutes later, you texted and you were like, you probably have plans.

But if you want to. Fun party plans because you think I'm so popular now. And then I was like, no, I have zero plans. Cheers. I have zero plans. Of course, like, I'll just come over and let's hang out. So. Yeah.

And the bad body concert was incredible. And I have loved so many Super Bowl halftime shows before. Like, I can dream back on so many of them that I'm, I could rewatch on YouTube. This one, listen, my Spanish sucks. I'm trying to learn. I have zero Spanish. My nanny speaks Spanish. My daughter understands Spanish for an eight-month-old.

I'm really trying to learn, you know, mine's very basic. I understood that performance. I also felt like I was watching La La Land. It was a musical. It was a full theatrical production, which I loved about it because it was like, it was different than other performances. Yeah, okay, it's not like, you know, the Beyonce or the, you know, the, Katie Perry or Madonna where it's like, okay, we're doing, yeah, we're worrying about the stage. We're worrying about, or like, you know, the formations of the dancers.

This was very much a storytelling moment. And it was beautiful and it was theatrical and it was so perfect. Music is like, it's a unifier. It is. It's something that we all understand. Why do we love Italian opera? We don't all understand it. Thank you.

I was like, it's an art form. It's great. And it's the rhythm, the, the just essence of it. We understand that. And he's also the most streamed. And plenty of Americans speak Spanish. But even if you don't, it doesn't really matter. You were just like part of the party.

Yeah. I felt like I was there. Like I felt like I was like in there. Yeah. I felt like I could dance even though I can't the way that they can. It made me feel like I want to take salsa lessons. I just love that at the end of the day when it's all now set and done, it was an amazing performance.

And everybody that said it wasn't going to be or it was going to be the lowest rating. rated or whatever. Sorry. And he named every country in all of the America's the North America and South. It was just, it was so beautiful. So it was also a history lesson.

And the Grammy, the little Grammy. Handing it to his younger self. It was so beautiful. It was so, so beautiful. And like just the entire thing was just so well done. I also love that they had like Pedro Pascal and Cardi and Alex Earl and like just all the people on that porch just like showing just having a good time. And I was like that's what it's about.

We're just having a good time. Yeah. Okay. So we digress. So that's a PSA over. Something really fast yesterday. Brittany and I went on our eyebrows microbladed, which I haven't been able to do since before. I was pregnant.

And it's like one of my little me care spa things that make me feel good about myself because I'm not like a big makeup person except today because I've glam, obviously. And Zach came with us because he was doing Britney's podcast. And my friend Erica, who does my microblading, also owns an art gallery in Beverly Hills that she shares with Snoop D-O-G. It is the most random, but also, like, like coolest, but also most random thing ever. Yeah.

So say what it is. So Snoop sends my friend Erica, giant jars of like half-smoked blunts or joints. Mostly they're blunts because he has like a blunt roller, like a human, not like a contraption. And he sends her all these like half-smoked blunts. And then she creates art with them, like epoxy acrylic, whatever.

Different colors. And they're all signed by him. different like configurations art gallery that I haven't yet seen in person until yesterday. I've seen it online. I push it at joint venture art. Anyone wants to see them. It is so cool though. It's just so random too.

It's so L.A. It was one of the coolest days of my life. It's so L.A. It's so L.A. though. So it was one of the coolest days of my life. And Erica let me take one a little blunt and take it out of the jar and smoke it. So now you have smoked one of her blends. Yeah.

And it was so cool. Yeah. That's crazy. Prior to that, like, listen, I love weed. Everybody knows that I'm not the best weed smoker anymore because I'm a mom and I get paranoid and obviously don't do it around Kaya or if like I'm the only one taking care of Kaya like no shit guys. But same with drinking.

I'm not getting drunk and like taking care of my daughter. But I love cannabis. I've always been a fan of it. And really there's no more pinnacle than that. Right. Like that's like the highest. A long time ago when I was on being on my own rules, I got to do an interview with High Times Magazine.

They requested. And I'm like, this is it. I've made it. Now I plateaued. I'm done. There's nowhere to go from here. This is the coolest thing in the whole wide world.

I remember being like in my early 20s and like reading the magazine and just thinking it was so interesting. Right. And I wanted to like, you know, be born in the 50s, so I lived in the 70s. And anyway, now I got to smoke one of Snoops, roaches, and it's fucking great. I mean, it literally, and we're going to have a party. It doesn't get more L.A.

Nor more, like, there's no higher pinnacle in the weed smoking community than being able to say that. Yeah. Like, so congratulations. Like my 21-year-old self would be dead. 20 years from now, your friend is going to have this beautiful art gallery with Snoop himself. And you will get to not only be in there and be like touched and see it and see it be made, but you can like smoke it. It's just, guys, I just think it's like, push it.

Okay. Anywho, now we're going to get to us. Zach and I love to chat. So because I want people to just get to know like you and me more because I just don't think we had enough air time together. Well, it's crazy that, yeah, like I don't think they get to see our dynamic as much as I would like them too. I agree. Do you remember the exact moment that you knew we'd be friends? We talked about the moment we met actually two days ago because we died. We cried. You cried. Was I cry? Oh yeah. And then

we were saying not about it. It was like a whole thing. It was about something else. I cry a lot. Yeah. No, I think honestly it's funny. Have we ever told this story about how we first met? I don't know. Okay. I'll just set it up my way. And And then you can say it from your perspective. But so I moved to L.A. And for those of you who don't know, some people are like, you followed Britney. No, no. I did not follow Brittany.

I was already moving to either L.A. or New York. It's kind of like a toss-up. And then Brittany happened to move right as I was graduating from my MBA. And I basically had chosen L.A. as like where I was moving. So I was like, oh, cool. You're moving. I'll see you in like, I think it was like six months later. And so then I moved and then...

That was 2017. 2016. Yeah, 2016. Because I'm 10 year... March 15th will be my 10 year anniversary in L.A. So crazy. So I moved and then the Vanderpump Rules crew because that's Britney, those are Britney's friends and the only person, well, besides Nicole Schrozener who I ended up working for, it was her and Brittany were the only two people I knew in L.A.

So I was hanging out with you all all the time But I remember the first time I had just gotten back from gay days And this is like, I know this is a little bit of a Debbie Downer But it was right after the pulse shooting I had just left Orlando Like I had just left landed It was the next day after the shooting

Oh, I didn't even know that That's why I was crying So basically I found out about the shooting And then I was like, wait, I was just in Orlando I was just at all these places The guy had also, the shooter had also mentioned that he was trying to get into Disney for gay days and couldn't because the security was too good. So then that's why he chose the nightclub that he chose to do what he did. But like they hadn't released all the names yet.

And I was like a lot of my friends were still there. And so of course like, you know, I had drank a little bit or whatever. But I was just like very upset about things that were going on. So the first time I meet. The crime would drink a little bit. Well, a lot of it. Yeah. Let's be real.

Let's be real. Let's be real a bit. So we were. Well, and it was pride and we had been partying all day. But I was also like in my head all day. I come over to Kristen's apartment. It's basically the first time that I'm really hanging out with you. I'd maybe met you but not in like a.

Yeah, like spent real time. You just, we knew who each other were. Yeah. And I'm had a full mental breakdown in her bathroom. And Kristen, not only... My spirit animal. Came into the bathroom and took care of me. Then she moved me to her bedroom and checked on me the entire time.

I mean, then I obviously got my shit together a little bit. But, like, could not have been more kind and then non-judgmental, like, the next time I saw her. And she didn't not invite me. So I think that was the first time where I was like, oh, my God, I really... This girl is amazing. Yeah, I feel like I just, like, saw me and you. We are carbon copies of each other. We really are.

I mean, I might be slightly more aware, but yeah, like, slightly more self-aware, but at the same time, we're still carbon copies of each other. But we have different hormones. I know. Don't get me wrong. I understand. If I didn't have all the hormones I have, I might. I think I have self-aware.

You do, you do. I'm just saying I might see things a little bit faster than. Let's say that. I'm done with you. What was your first impression of like me or like our friend group? You know, obviously not Brittany, but coming into it,

I will say, Sheena right off the bat, she took me under her wing like so close. Like literally you would cut, when she got divorced from Shea, you would come and drop off groceries. And I had, and I was saying,

I think it was like 11 days or something on her couch with her where we were, I was just like trying to get her through. like that that hump. And so like Sheena and I became very close right away. She and I actually texted about that either this morning or last night. About that day. Or those days.

Yeah. It was it was a time where we were all like very much depended on each other. And it became like I was like almost like adopted into a family. And I really like I had fun with every single person and really never had issues. I think that is the beauty of our friend group, though. Show or no show is that, I mean, she is from Azusa, sure, but none of us are from L.A. So you really have to find your tribe and love them hard and you have to, like, kind of weed out the people. And then it just so happens, like, 90% of us are from the Midwest.

Literally. I know it's crazy. But I feel like that's because you're so far removed from your family and your friends from childhood and stuff. Because I still, you know, talked to all my childhood friends, too. But at the same time... We're 2,500 miles away. But you, yeah, you can't hang out with them daily. It's, you're not going through the same experiences.

So it's hard. And to have people then to relate to and go through it with you, that becomes your family. And, yeah, like, you, all of you definitely became that for me. And, yeah, it was like, honestly, it was like, oh, wow, I found my people because I found a group of people that are just as crazy as I am. so they won't judge me because I'm not going to judge them. So I felt it like, I was like, oh, we all escaped a sane asylum together. We did. And then we created our own.

I know. It's great. It just doesn't have padded walls or locks. 100%. His cameras everywhere. What do you think is the biggest? Wait, hold on. Before we go on to the next question, you need to answer these too.

So like, what was, well, what was. the um i told you what my when you first met me what was like i thought you were like i was like he's he's like male me oh okay i guess yeah i guess you did answer that sorry i mean truly that's like how i felt like my brother and i my actual biological brother and i obviously look a lot of like but we're not the same no and i was like oh this is like if i had a twin right and not just a like a brother yeah yeah i agree like we're sensitive the same way we're loud the same way there's stuff i want to get into later but like i feel like ever since i met you you and you and i've talked about this probably on podcast and maybe on the show too but like like we're not very fearful of a lot of things in life

but the fear of like being too much too loud too talkative to whatever for people stuff i talk about it's just us yeah right and it's just us right and it's It's like also, what I'm trying to learn is like, their opinion's not of my fucking business. If I can be secure in myself. And the way I'm like too dramatic or stand up too loudly, well, if it's in your favor, you really love it. Not you, but like people really love it.

If it's not in their favor, then they hate it. And I think that's the same basket that you're put in all the time. And I feel like I got that from you right away. And you're also just, you make everyone feel so very comfortable no matter who they are right off the bat. And BravoCon is such a good example of that. You know, it was a wild time. It was your first BravoCon. And we've talked about BravoCon on the podcast.

But it's such a good example of that where you're just literally meeting strangers. But you make everyone feel like they're your buddy right away. They don't feel like they're nervous. They're not like, oh, God, I'm scared. scared to talk to him or like, is he going to be mean to me? Because he doesn't know me. Like, no one feels that way about you because you are very inclusive. And I think that's just like a wonderful character trait that I like, I knew it right

away. And I was like, oh, thank God, Brittany. Thank God, because I hate your boyfriend. And also that other one that she brought him, we won't go there. But. And taking a sip of the wine now. Yeah. Do you think people that anyone has a misconception about our friendship?

And if so, what do you think? I feel like from what I've seen, because I mean, our friends obviously know us. But yeah, I think the the public or fans or whatever, I think they have a pretty good idea. Like I don't think there's someone that's saying like, you know, like, oh, I'm your yes person or I'm whatever. Like I think people see us for what it really like our friendship for what it is and how special it is. I think that was a misconception for a long time. But I do think that. I do think that.

Like it could have been. But I think people really did. I hope they see that our friendship is like so real. I felt it both ways at time. There have been times in the past where I felt that people even in our group, I won't say like our best friends in our group and the public would think that either I'm your yes person or you're my yes person. Because we do, we all, we will agree with each.

Great minds think alike though. Yeah, I can't help it if I agree. Great minds think alike and you gravitate toward people that you tend to align the same ethics and morals and opinions, right? But my favorite thing about having you as a best friend, especially here in L.A. and not back at home, is like, you're the first person to tell me when I'm fucking wrong. Yeah.

When you don't agree with me. Or if you think I'm, if I'm like spending too much energy on something that's not worth that energy or I'm not. Get you on the right course. My viewpoint is it right. And we're not talking about politics and all of that here. I'm talking like Luke and I get in a fight or an argument about something.

Yeah. I call Zach because I want to be told if I'm doing something in, if I could be doing something better. Right. I don't want a yes girlfriend or a yes friend. Clearly I'm not calling any straight guy about like I don't know if I'm blue. But I don't want anyone being like, oh my God, how annoying of him, Kristen. Like, oh, like, you know, you're right. I want, I want.

You want real friendship. Right. And that's why I call you. Yeah. You know. So I do think that's only a misconception. I agree with you. That some people could perceive it as that.

Is that we're like each other's yes person or we're like, or I control what you think or you control what I think. Yeah, that's far from the truth. We're both too crazy for that. 1,000 percent. And people should realize that thing now. Are we emotionally stable together or are we just louder? I feel like I don't think.

I don't think I've ever called myself emotionally stable. Emotionally intelligent, in tune. Yes, 100%. Am I always stable? Do I always act on it? No. So I wouldn't say that. And I would say us together, I mean, unfortunately, we just, well, and we rally each other up.

So, and when we know we're right and we're going at the same target, I mean. I had a conversation with Brittany yesterday, driving. home being talking about. Something. Just something within our friend group that I was like, listen, Zach and I can't help it. If we see something, we say something. Sorry, we learn that during 9-11. See something, say something.

And we will never not do that, okay? Are we healing? We follow airport rules. Are we healing? Are we enabling? I don't know. The jury's still out. Oh, yeah.

Are we healing or enabling? That should be the name of the episode. Really hard-a-ebling, for sure. Okay, can we talk about the moment you notice your first gray hair? Because mine did not arrive quietly. I was like, oh, okay, we're here now. And it's never just about color. It feels like a reminder that your hair is changing.

And suddenly you're thinking about how to keep it looking healthy and vibrant. Listen, I color, I heat style my hair a lot. So when I got a raised system, I was especially excited about the deep treatment duo. I have been using it consistently. my hair feels stronger, more conditioned. It looks smoother. It's fuller. And I'm seeing fewer new grays coming in, which honestly, it feels empowering when you're trying to maintain your natural hair color as long as possible. What I love is that a ray is designed to slow gray growth while actually caring for your hair. It feels proactive. Like you're supporting your hair instead of

constantly reacting to changes. Most of us invest in skincare, right? To slow signs of aging. This is that same mindset, but this is for your hair. And I genuinely wish I. started sooner. Most people cover grace, but you can actually slow their progression. For a limited time, our listeners get 15% off at Array by using code Kristen at Array.com. So just head to A-R-E-Y.com and use code Kristen and you are all set. After you purchase, they will ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that our show sent you. Okay. What do you think 10-year, like 2016, 2017. I miss that time.

What do you think they would think about us now? Oh, they would be like... I think they'd be really fucking proud. They'd be really proud that when we need to, we can kind of put our emotions aside sometimes. I say this, but it's like maybe 10% less. But that 10% is a huge growth for what we would have done in 2016. You know what I mean?

You're kind of like reactive and like, ugh. Exactly. And I can think about it and try to like, I won't self-sabotage. as much. I like these as much. Yeah. Yeah.

Listen, again, self-aware. So I know that it's, I know that I can't just say like that never happens because God knows I. But the thing is, I'll be like, you know what? I'm going to do this. And then I'll do it. And I'm like, why did I do that? But I told myself I was going to do it.

And I knew what I was doing. So it's like one of those things where it's like I'm too smart, but then I don't want to take my own advice. I don't know. But I feel like I've come a long way in that. And I feel like you. have too. I absolutely agree with you 100%. We're much more reflective now. Yeah. And so, and so we try to be. And so we try to be. I'm asking you too. I don't want it to, I don't want

or and I don't want viewers, listeners to think this is all about the valley because it's really about our friendship and you and you as a human being who even though people have been now watched you for two seasons coming up three knew you from Vanderpump Rules like you've been a human for a whole lot longer than that. Wow. You know what? You're right. I know people forget that.

They kind of do. It's like they don't know the younger you or even the 10 year ago you or the seven years ago you. You know, that's why I always say like people, I'm glad that our show and a lot of Bravo shows now do the after show because that gives so much context. Like I feel like people got to, they got to know me a lot better because they could hear conversations that they're probably not going to make it in the. You just love that you got to talk about Wolfie Gold.

I'm just, no, I just love that I got to talk. Anytime. It's my favorite thing. Okay. I just want to talk about us more because. Well, who doesn't? I mean, I always want to talk about us. Is there a time that you think we have disappointed each other?

Like, is there a time I've disappointed you? I think there was a time we thought we disappointed each other. Okay. But then we realized when we stop listening to other people and we, listen to each other that we never have to worry about actually disappointing each other. The outside noise. Was that too meta? The outside noise. A little bit. Yeah. Like it, and not in a way where it's like, because I should always know, like, you're not going to lie to me. I'm not going to lie to you.

Now, well, yeah, like, it's not, if we, if we know that at the core of our friendship, then why are we trying to be like, well, wait. and listen to those other people. And consider it even as a possibility. Right. And I think I... That's a good point. I've done that with other friendships where it needed that.

Mm-hmm. But this friendship, I never needed that. I think there was like one instance of where I think we had a hiccup. And then we immediately corrected said hiccup. And then I think we were good. I mean, obviously we've been best friends. since the moment we met. But like, but basically, especially for the past six, like seven years, I think we've been

as closer. Thick as thieves. For sure. And I don't think we, we don't have that problem. Yeah. I talked about that in therapy day too. I was talking about someone in our friend group and just noise coming at me, making me reconsider or rethink friendships.

And it's like, is that true? like kind of gossip coming to me and me thinking a friendship with someone is great, but this other person's telling me otherwise. And I'm like, what do I do with that? Right. Because my energy is expensive. I try to live by my Tatea. She says this far. She says this far too often for my liking and we argue about it all the time. But here, say the quote. My energy is expensive. And I love that she said that on the New Heights podcast. And I really try to instill that in myself when the noise comes in. And so what I was asking my therapist was

like, where is the line between just calling something out and just, like, call a spade a spade, let's have the conversation and letting it. Faster. Letting it expend my energy, right? Very good point that you were making about the disappointment thing. So what she told me, and I thought of you in this, was like, she's like, imagine these, like, here's a circle, the circles, you know, it's like this circle, whatever. and you have four quarters in the middle.

Out here you have 10 dimes. Out here you have exonum nickels and you have pennies. You can slowly get rid of the less expensive. Keep your four quarters. And maybe some of those dimes can turn into quarters, right? Like your core people. But if the nickel people are the ones getting in your head about the quarter people. Which is like why?

Why expend the energy? And it was like, I like this analogy. Okay. I love money. I don't know. For other people. I like giving money to other people. Yeah, I was like you were the most generous.

You and Tom Schwartz, I swear to God, I try to, I will try to throw my credit card down. I will try to. You guys will have already, you guys are just so generous. It's insane. Tom and I, we do fight each other on it. You do. You two are the most generous, most sweet people ever. I like paid for bowling two weeks ago.

And he's like, no, dody, no. And I was like, you paid for all of our. food and drinks last week when we had dinner. No. And you know what it is? It's because we all, none of us grew up rich. We all came. None of us grew up. Exactly. So we all want to treat our friends. Yeah. And it's like if I have it, like I'm, I'm not trying to be stupid about it or just like, I mean, I am stupid about like Amazon purchases and stuff. But I was like, when it comes to treating people that I love, I just go back and remind myself of like how lucky. It's better. than a Birken. I'm sorry, it's better than a burkin.

100%. Going to like a large dinner with friends. Sorry, I'm not a Burkin gal. I mean, I love Jane Birkin. I was like, I also don't know why I said Birken because a Birken bag would cost like the entire restaurant. But I would rather fly a bunch of us like to somewhere amazing first class than buy an expensive bag and have this amazing experience together. Absolutely. But that's what I love about you. And I feel like that's what, even for not that I have any money, but I always, like, treat my friend.

Like, because I feel like we care. And these are the people that have helped Egypt, like us or, like, I've helped you. You've helped me. And we care so deeply. And, but like, that's, like, our little group has done that for each other for so long. So it's just so funny that you and Tom, though, like, it's like a battle who's going to pay. It's hilarious.

Tom is extremely generous. He's, you both are. Like, with his time, with his love. with his money, with his everything. But I truly do believe I think it's the way we were all raised. Oh, for sure. We all had, we all somehow. We didn't grow up with a lot.

So when we have more than we need to survive, we would rather. We care more about others. It's not the fucking world should be for the love of God. What do you trust me with that you don't trust anyone else with? Dead. Now I'm going to make it about me. Oh, I love it, though. Why am I your best friend in the phone?

You're going to get so much shit for that. You're going to have a test. Brittany's going to feel it. No, she's already felt it in the atmosphere. She's like, there's a shift. And she's going to text you, what did you say about Zach? What is it that I would try? The thing is, I know that if they're, now it's funny because I think the show would say otherwise, you know, season one.

or whatever where, you know, I tell you things and I know that sometimes you can't keep your mouth shut about certain things. But when it, but when it, but and vice for it. But it's always about stuff that does it. That's not the, not the stuff that really matters. I know. I am going to say it here and just say it now. I am enough.

I know people are going to be like, yeah, I'm right. I am a phenomenal secret keeper. No, you are. When there are secrets that matter. I, to my grave, my very best friends, my family, like, the shit that I know about some people on our show, on our past shows, on other friends, I will take to my grave because they are. Even if you don't like them. Yeah, because it's not of anyone's business, right?

Well, and you were a friend with that person at one point or you were whatever and you. I will take things to my grave. However, in this day and age, I am the. living meme that if you tell me, I'm probably going to tell Zach. Oh, one thing. It's, there's not much. But he's not going to tell anyone. So it's okay. I really won't because I, you know, I am a vault. I really am. I think, and people come to me with their secrets more because I feel like they know that. Because you're not judgmental. And I'm not judgmental. I'm so not judgmental. I think I'm like the one person you can tell

something to that you wouldn't tell somebody else. And you know that number one, I'm not even going to judge you for whatever it is. And I'm not going to tell anybody, even if I'm like drunk or whatever, because I know the severity of, and the fact you're trusting me with that, you know, like I care. But same when it comes to you. I feel like I could tell you anything. And if I, now, maybe sometimes I have to preface, no, this has to stay between just you. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? But mostly, you know, you're the only person I'm going to tell. Tell anyway, I know. I know. I'll just call and tell you what you told. Right. And then. throw in Brittany. So it's like, yeah, it's like some people are going to find out eventually.

But, but yeah, I feel like we're vaults. Yeah. I agree. I totally agree. Valtz. Okay. What is one thing? I have something that I wish you believed about yourself. Is there anything you wish that I believed about myself? This is such a, this is such like a so narcissistic. I'm like, tell me stuff you love about me. No. I, I, Okay, I'm not going to lie. Every once in a while, it's okay to do that because I love it. And also, I love how, if I can take a second, I would like to say, like, you are someone who is, like, I don't know how I would do life without you. And I would, I love to give you your flowers because I do feel like you didn't get your flowers for a very long time. And it was, it literally drove me crazy because I'm like, nobody realizes what this woman does, who this woman is.

And I don't want you to ever be misunderstood. And I'm glad that at least people are starting to get the truth because it's like, you always knew. And you were always there. And you were always, you know, you've done so much for so many people. And I want you to know that I want other people to know that you're such a great person and see this and see the person that I see. Which I think they are. And I am very happy for that. Which is partially what I wrote down.

What I wrote, what I was thinking to myself was, I wish you knew you are so more than enough. Like you are enough. You are exactly perfectly you. And I know that a lot of the times you do know that. I think you're in a healthier headspace than in years past with in bad relationships. and those always fuck us up, right? But truly it's like, I wish sometimes you could see you the way I see you. I don't want to say same and steal your answer, but like same.

Yeah. And it's really difficult. It is. But that's why I love that we have what we have because then we check each other on it because we're like, get out of that headspace. Yeah. Remember who you are. You're always doing a funny way too.

Like you cry with me and you say it really sweetly. And then other times, you're like, bitch, I will rip you out of bed. I will like pull the sheets off of you. I'll pour water all over your face and then give you a glass of wine and like, let's get it together. My friendship's not for the week of heart. I will say, like if you think, if you think I'm just going to say, you know, they're there. No. It's not my approach.

I also don't feel. I wouldn't want, I would want someone to do what I do for others. Like I would want that same level of friend, but also that's just how I see it. Laughter is the best medicine. And I'm just, I'm too funny too. So it's like, you are.

You're my funniest. I can't help it. Oh my God, I'm dead. Okay, I'm going to play like a fun, like little question game. I would say rapid fire,

but we both talk too much for it to be rapid fire. I'll never be rapid. So I'm calling it the balancing act chaos jar. Okay, cute.

I like it. Who is more dramatic in a crisis that's not actually a crisis? You. Wait, is it just between me and you? You? Still you. Yeah.

Still you. Are you offended by that? You know, my assistant life kicks in, and I am calm when it is an actual crisis. When it's an actual crisis. No, but it's who is more dramatic in a crisis that is not actually a crisis? Oh, I rapid-fired too fast. My bad. I'm still you.

I don't know if I disagree with you. I think we're both calm in a real crisis. Yeah. And we're both not calm. Another. But you know what? I will say, I will say, I will give you this. If something dramatic happens and then I'm going in, you tend to be able to step in and calm me down or you'll...

I just think we would delegate and be like, all right, everyone shut the fuck up for a minute. Well, we'll be like... This is what needs to happen right now. We'd be like, you yell at her. I'll yell at her. I'll yell at him, like, or whatever. Like, you're right, though. If it was, like, just a dramatic thing.

Like, let's say we're having, like, a party at Brittany's house and something catches on fire in the kitchen. We would both be like, everyone shut the fuck up, step back. This is what we do. Not, ah, but then in a non-actual crisis, I don't deny that I'm dramatic in a not actual crisis. But I don't deny that I'm dramatic in a not actual crisis. But I don't deny. that I'm not. I think that's where my drama thrives.

But that's what I say. I don't deny either that I am not dramatic in both certain, you know, in certain circumstances as well. But I just think maybe you're one percent more. Okay. Okay. So I'm the shareholder. You're the majority shareholder of drama. Fantastic.

But I'm up there. What is the most unhinged text we've ever sent to each other? oh my God, there's no way I could even think of the most unhinged text because in any... Is there anyone you can think of that you will say out loud right here? You're just, your memory... Well, I mean, like, I usually will tell you anything that's going on or anything that's going on in my head. So I'm sure I've sent you a thousand different times like, oh, hold on. Like, I'm pooping, I'm doing this or my, you know, whatever.

Like, just unhinged or... FaceTime to me while you. you're pooping. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, well, if I have- You're actually the only person, I think, other than my best friend, Amy back home that I pooped on the phone with. Well, because I make it like kind of a requirement for friendship. Like, if you won't answer or watch, like, not, you know, listen or be like creepy about it. Like, if I can't FaceTime you while, you know, whatever, then are we really friends? Like, I don't know. But I judge Luke so hard when he, when he talks on the phone while he's pooping. I know. You have, like, but see,

that's where that self-reflection would take away from us. So see, we're going. going full circle back to self-awareness. There we go. Because I think that men, straight men, purposefully use bathroom time to just be away from people. She is, see, and this is where I'm like, okay, ma'am, we need to reel it in a little. See? Because Luke makes an announcement every time he has to poop.

So do I. So is that just a guy, a man thing? I do, I've never once been like, Luke, I have to go poop. BRB. Not because I don't think he knows that I do that. He watched me give birth. He watched me push a baby out of my vagina. Yeah.

It's probably right. I mean, but for real, I did not poop on the table I asked. But like he's seen it all. We live together. We've lived together for three years. Why do you have a problem with him pooping on the phone?

No, no, it's because he like, it feels like this announcement of like, I'm going to be gone for 15 minutes. Like, just go. to the bathroom. Also, you

require that. Are we going? Are we, wait, hold on. Let me, wait, hold on. Let me get my glasses and my pad of paper. So how does loop pooping make you feel? Fucking irritates. Thank you. So see, here's the thing. See, this is the

only, this is the only difference. It just feels like a moment where I'm like, just go. See, this is the only difference where I'm like, see, now in this circumstance, I would be able to go, I'm acting crazy. and you're like, no, he's acting crazy. And this is where I have to be like,

let's pull out the little sign in your kitchen that says, what would Zach say? During the circumstance, I would say you're being a little, well, in this case, you're just being a little crazy. Would you call me? I know. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

I have a fucking story. Okay. But I think you proved my point, but thank you. If our friendship was a reality show, what would the title be? I think it would just be called chaos and cocktails because

well no because you you don't go out with me enough so it would just be called chaos chaos sometimes she used to go out with me and we would have cocktails right what would be a good title

let's see yeah like it'll come to you rapid well rapid fire I would just say like if it comes to you throughout wait why aren't you answering that one answer that one

because these are for you and I'm oh she doesn't want to think today okay yeah Who enables who more? I think we do a great job of doing it for each other. I think you enable me 100% more. Yeah.

Maybe. No. Sort of count. Wait, no, I don't think so. Well, I was trying to, no, I try to enable you with positive, like in the positive. No, but if you're feeling gossipy, you want me to engage and meet you at your level. Is that called enabling or is that just called? Champy for yourself?

Is that just called being real selfish and getting... Actually, it's probably called manipulating more than enabling. But like in a good way. Yeah, like positive manipulation. It's such a thing. Like when you need to do something and I positively manipulate you to do it. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. One memory that makes you laugh instantly. Well, I'll just say instantly like right off the bat, like you on the operating table, where I could not stop laughing when I was with your air sculpt. Oh. And just, I was crying at one point because she was said, the thing she was saying were just like, I don't remember it at all. I know.

I just remember being like, but I'd feel it. I still feel it. It's just one of those moments where like we've shared so many moments like that. You're like on the operating table. I was like, wait. what was this? You're like, wait, where what? Why were you there? So mine, mine is Vegas. I don't remember what year this was. It was you mean Brittany in the bathroom. Yes, in the bathroom. Why wasted in the middle of the day. I'm going to find them and post them.

We were taking the weirdest, most random like upside down. We did. We thought it was art. We did. We thought it was art. Like upside down, like under a sink, like posing on a toilet. like holding each other in like weird positions just the three of us and we thought we were giggling so hard there were no drugs involved there was no mushrooms no we did i mean there was alcohol like we had we were drunk but like but you would think that we were on like mushrooms and smoking oh you would have thought we were like lSD level yeah which i've never done but from what i hear yeah that i've I think that it just cracks me the fuck up. I think about it all the time.

Actually, that is a really good one too. You and I are so much fun. Well, that's the thing is like there's so many moments where it's like instantly like we'll just laugh about anything and everything. And that's when I think you know you have a true friendship. It doesn't have to be a huge thing or a one. It's literally every day, every moment there's something and we're just like. And also it's every time where I can just look and we roll our eyes the same way.

and then back the same way, and then already know what the other one's thinking, that just to me is like, and then we laugh or whatever without anybody else knowing what we're laughing about. Yeah, I feel like we're passing notes in class, but we're not. Telepathically. Yeah. 100%. What's something we pretend to hate what we secretly love?

I don't think people would ever believe if I said gossip. So I'm not even going to try to say that. that we pretend, I mean, I guess drama, and it's like, we do thrive in it. I was like. It's tea. It's tea. Yeah. We can't say we don't like it.

It's the tea that we love. But I was like, but do we pretend? I don't think there's anything that we pretend we don't. I don't like gossip. I don't like mean girl shit, though. I don't like, I don't like it if it's fake or if it's trying to be malicious. Yeah, I don't like hurtful. Right.

But you. And I don't like spreading it. I like knowing it. Maybe that's what I pretend. You and Luke both. One of your favorite things together and separately is like, so I have this tea. I love that Luke is the greatest, like, as a straight man, I'm so glad that he also will embrace this with me. And it's like our, yeah, it's like our bonding thing.

I do love it. Yeah, I think that's it. What is our most toxic shared trait? I think all of our traits are non-toxic and able to consume. Like, you don't have to worry about it. But if I had to choose one that maybe, you know, would get a label of, be careful. Danger. Danger here.

Don't swallow. Actually, none. You know what? Because I don't think, I think toxic things happen. and people can bring out toxicity within us, we're like a puffer fish. If you prepare it the right way, we're not toxic. But you come at us the wrong way, you're probably going to die. Sorry, not sorry.

Why is that so aggressive? You know what? Our toxic trait is sometimes being more aggressive and being eviscerating than we could or should or... I actually... I did this like animal astrology thing when we're... time it's like I'm gonna have to find it. And you were a pufferfish? I think I was a pot. Shut up. You were not. If you were, that would be hilarious. I'll look it up after this. I'm, I am like 99 point. As soon as you said it, it rang a bell in. I was like, I think my.

Because how often do you mention like, does someone mention pufferfish? Yeah. Wow. Am I a puffer fish? I think we are puffer fish. Okay. Well, you know what? That's our most toxic shared trade then. It's okay. We're puffer fish. No, it's fine. They're adorable. They're so cute. And they can get so skinny whenever they want to. I know. If they want to be big, they can, but otherwise, they're like, you can be a merry case. It's funny. If you care about the seafood you eat,

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Period. Blood. So if anybody would like the story behind this, was it with Brittany? Yeah. Yeah. So I don't even know how this was, it was just in a group. It was just in a group thing. And Brittany out of nowhere was like, period.

And then something, something. You know, like period. And then I was like blood, meaning like that solid. Like even more than period, it's blood. like period blood like that means it is like blood oath like you like it is that's what you meant oh you didn't know that no I thought you're making a joke about menstruation well I was and then meaning it's the like oh it's that extra level of like period no period blood yeah and then blood meaning like blood oath and like together so like every time now we hear the word period all of us

will say blood every single time every so in In case you guys ever see us say that or see it online where we then put the blood dot after something, that's what we mean. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah, you're welcome. Because it's fun. Okay. A couple more than I'm going to fan questions. Finish this sentence.

This is now rapid. Our friendship is. The best thing that could ever have happened to me. Oh, okay. And it's the real never ending story. You were just going to get one. I should have told you this one word today. You can't say that.

Well, you say it after, wait. You're going to go back. One word. Now say it again. Finish the sentence, one word. Our friendship is. Perfect. We are perfect.

Wait, no. Wait, ready? Our friendship is. No, our friendship is? The tits. That's two words. Our friendship is. Tits.

I hate you. Titties. I love titties. I hate them, so I don't know what. I'm just kidding. They're great. I know. I'm kidding.

Healing in your 30s feels like It's exhausting Like why do I have to do the work Why do I have to do the work? You all get the benefit I had to do the work And then none of you all bitches Want to do the work on you

So then I have to deal with not only I've now healed Y'all haven't healed And then I have to deal with all the non-heeled bitches Try to heal them on top of me being healed Because I've healed So now I can't use that I'm not healed Against them

And it's just a mess So that's how I feel about that. I love it. Okay. Let's do some fan questions. Okay. I have a few for you. Oh, I also would like to say if Benji is watching this because I don't know if you're...

Wrote a question for you. He wrote, he's like, I've been on his lunch break today, he was like, yeah, I've been submitting a bunch of questions to Kristen. I know she's going to choose one of them. And I was like, you little fucker. I was like, I know exactly what he's going to do. But no, continue. Is one of them his? I'm not going to tell you.

You're not going to tell me. Okay, great. I'm not reading who these are from. Some people, I do have their Instagram. Some people said, please remain anonymous. I'm going to leave them all anonymous because I think it's more fun that way. So first question. Who texts the group chat the most?

I would say when Lacey is ready, it's Lacey. She loves to make sure, like she's getting the. extra details in and the whatever and responding to she's like it's usually that there's a lot when when she does i was going to say jasmine but i was going to say jasmine is probably the one that but i write i i write the most like i'm the annoying the one that like goes didada da da da da da da da da da da like i write in like but you don't always respond and i don't do like i don't do the big paragraphs which a lot of people find annoying you and luke will wait until like i know your notification thing has to be like 50, 60. No, I know. It's got, so it like builds up. Benji also,

I would say the person that sends the most gifts is Benji. Yes. I live for, I just live for Benji. He has great. He rivals me. Okay. What's a totally, totally normal habit of yours that fans would find shocking. I mean, I pretty much think that everybody knows that like everything I do is like absolutely weird and crazy or whatever what would there be that is shocked? Like a normal habit. I'm just trying to think of like a I know

what do I do that do you have do you have something like do you see something that I do? The only thing the first okay not the only the first thing that came to mind is your weird no ice and your drink thing oh yeah that makes me crazy everybody hates that who like I get wanting like

room temperature water some people don't want their water extra cold. But who in the flying Frick is like I'll have a water no ice diet Coke no ice and a straw? Do you know what happened? No, I don't do straws.

You do? I always take if they, if they take them out because they floats up. Yeah, that's what I was like I always take it out. But I also like room temperature Diet Coke? It's not room to it comes out cold. She's such a liar. If I have a can of Coke, Diet Coke in my house. I'm sorry. You know

what? Blame Blame Robin Wickham Who they never let me have my coax or Diet Coke's in the fridge I was always in the pantry Well I mean I just don't care Like I don't mind it Do I prefer it cold? Yes, sure

But I don't mind it either way Because I grew up on that Childhood trauma Steeping through it adulthood But yeah I don't think I have any weird I do like to like I will say that like If I'm gonna shower

I'm like Benji just come talk to me or I face time while I shower. Yeah. Because I have that, I have a holder and I face time while I shower. I do phone calls while I shower. And we don't like to be alone. We, I, that's the same. Except when we want our alone time, which is like sleep.

Which is very little amount of time. But like, usually it's I, my umbellicle cord for my friends and whatever, it does not go that far. And I lasso them. And then I'm like, like, we will not leave each other's houses. A lot of times it'll just be like, well, then I'll just fall asleep and then stay asleep. And then we'll wake up and then we'll do something. And it's like, we'll just stay again. And then again and again.

Come over. You can be on your phone and play games or like. Sometimes we don't even talk to each other. Don't like not talk for like three hours. Yeah. She's in, she's left. And like, where's Zach? I'm like, oh, he's in the bed.

He's in my bedroom. I'm like, cool. So, I mean, maybe those, I would say those. That's actually great. Okay. What is your natural hair color? Well, when I was born, it was actually blonde. Like Kaya blonde.

Yeah, like very blonde. And it was blonde until I was like three. Then it became like dirty blonde. And then by five, it became light brown. So where are we, where are we at today? I mean, it's like technically. It's not that color. Well, I mean, if this is like, well, this is darker because it was, it pulls red.

Y'all, it pulls red. And I hate the color red more than anything. But it's light brown. It's like this. It's like this, that color. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

But it unfortunately pulls red a lot. Like if it gets sunlight, it pulls red. So it's like I need to like get that out because I hate red. Next question. Fan question. Skin care secrets and treatments. Thank you. So I've tried every face mask there is.

I've tried every, you know, different cream, whatever I stay. The number one thing I say, especially being a white person, you got to stay out of the freaking sun. The sun will destroy your skin. it is there is no amount of Botox or filler or whatever can fix what sun has will damage in your early years, in your later years, whatever.

You have to wear sunscreen or stay out of the sun. I have like what are they called? Skin spots. Yeah like not like not they're not freckles. They're just like darker spots. Yeah. That have come through a little sunspots. That's what we're looking for. That have come through

a little bit but overall I think I'm so lucky especially when it comes to my face because I used to fry my face because that would go white the fastest, you know? I know. Because I look at gay men and I'm like, you can't all stay out of the sun. Why do you all just have perfect skin compared to treatment? Because we care a lot more.

And I don't know about other gay men, but I sleep. I do the Mariah Carey thing. I just sleep and then I don't use my face a lot. I mean, unfortunately, I'm very expressive, but I don't feel like it, I guess I sleep enough to take away from how expressive I am. I don't know. Um, that I also do, uh, SK2. That is amazing. It's, it's like rice water based, um, a special thing in that that helps preserve your skin and, um. Do you like sperm facials?

Face, well, no, I just do face masks. I'm not going to lie. I've tried to, the most expensive, like Dr. Jart, SK2, uh, 101, uh, like all the expensive one, or zero seven, all the expensive ones. I swear by, Medicare. pink, collagen, the PDRN, they're like $4. I do it. It's an hour. It's an hour one. You do it.

You can then put on like, because I use, what's it called? Color corrector. I don't put foundation or anything like that, but sometimes I'll put tinted moisturizer on. It looks so good. It plumps your skin. I look at least five years younger every time I do it. It's what I swear by. Okay.

If you could have any dream job, like, astronaut, a chef, anything just in your wildest dream, what would it be? It would be exactly what I'm doing right now. And this was for both of us. I know, but I get paid. And this is from Lacey O.C. Oh, you're like this one I will mention. No, I would say back in the day when I was a kid, veterinarian, because I love animals.

I also wanted to own a pet store. That was like my big dream. I used to breed mice when I was younger. That was like my first entrepreneurial job. Stop it. Except once I was... Like, high sharks. Hi sharks.

Do you want more... I have a dream to have a rodent factory. Oh, literally our basement was. My mom, because I would have tanks. And then once they breed, then you have to like take... You have to make sure they don't get genetically impure because, you know. How did I... Okay, this I didn't know about you.

I knew about Wolfie Goldberg before you told the, like, the public, but I did not know that you would breed mice. I have a lot of things. Unless you ask questions, I guess me breeding mice doesn't really come up on. on the regular. So if you could have a dream job, you would be a mouse breeder. I hate you. No. I'm saying like I used to want like I wanted to own a pet store. I would say that was like one of my big dreams. I wanted to be a marine biologist. That's why I became a vegetarian. I love that. I thought that there was dolphin meat and canned tuna. Nor did I ever. I've never had cantoon in my entire life. But at 11 years old, I was like, the dolphins. And so that was it. And I was like, I'm done. I love that.

Yeah, even though I'm terrified of sharks and the deep ocean, but I'm just still really want to swim with whales. Whales? Okay. Um, oh, who would fare better on traders? Love you guys. Me or you? This is from Squidsy. Carrey. Oh, smart. No, I know. Um. Who would fare better on traders? Number one, how dare you carry for this question? Because this might end our friendship. Not, see, I knew it. This is the where we're going to disagree on. This is the one. I think. We should be on together. Well, I think we should be on together. You know what? This is our official pitch.

Pitch. Guys, put us on together. No matter what configuration, you're going to get grade A show. I want to be on traders and I want to be a faithful. And it would be so much fun. And I would figure it all out. And I know I would. And I want to be on traders with her or by myself, but with her mainly.

And I will be a faithful or. Trader. Yeah. What is our favorite thing to do together, like just the two of us? Oh, I mean, I think our favorite thing, well, number one, is everything. Like, I would, anything I can do if I could have you with me. Me too. Done. But I would say our favorite thing is just sitting, watching some emotional. Pop Culture Jeopardy. Pop Culture Jeopardy or like some random new show on prior, like, whatever. And then just- Like the pop star, like, competition show. What was it called? Making the Band. Something like that. Whatever the new Netflix one was, we really liked that together and got into it.

We just love, or like emotional YouTube's like the greatest showman ones. Oh, forget it. We just love going down emotional like roller coasters together because we both know that we feel. Guys, I know everybody wants to make fun of her for saying she's an empath, but she is an empath. And so am I. And we, I get her on that level. Which is why no one likes to go to the movies with us. Because we are so loud.

Because we're, well, Zach does I go grab. He grabs my thigh and I'm so ticklish and he'll go and I'm like, oh my God, I'm like, stop it, stop it. But then I, we don't. Or I hit when it's funny. I'm like, and we look at each other like, are you feeling what I'm feeling?

Oh my God. We need the commentary as it's going. I need validation that my feelings based on these characters on this film screen, they're validated because you know it too. Yeah. Unfortunately. We're so awesome.

so annoying. It's fucking amazing. And not for other people. Yeah. In those ways. Okay. Oh, did you have fun at Pride in Toronto and will you be back? Oh, I was like, that's definitely not a bingy question because it's so dear. No, it's not Benji. No, I love Toronto was so much fun.

Is that your first time at Toronto Pride? Yeah, and in Toronto and in Canada. But have you been, you've been to prides in other cities before? Every, yeah. Yeah. Every thing. Yeah. for years and years.

And so Toronto was like, I mean, I saw the videos and photos. Toronto was one of like, it was one of the probably best ones that I've been to. It was like, it was just so much fun. There was so much like great energy around it. Yeah, I had a blast. I love Toronto. I love Canadians. They're so much fun.

Canadian are really fun. And I did kind of feel like we were only like halfway through season two when I went there for that. And so I've only been on like what, a season and a half. And I felt like every single person knew who I was. Like, they love their reality TV up there. Oh, I love that. Isn't that the one you went to that mall?

Edmonton. Edmonton mall. And, like, that was, you felt like a Beyonce or a Beatle. I felt like I was a Kardashian. Yeah. It was a long, long time ago, too. I remember that video. It was used Sassy and Katie, right?

And the video that they, it was literally, I would say tens of thousands of people screaming for them. It was insane. It was a long time ago. Yeah, that's wild. Is Zach really six four or is he wearing lifts? I'm dead. That's the funniest question ever.

I mean, yes and no. I don't need to wear lifts to look taller than other people because I just am taller. Actually, I would say most of the time I slouch and that's why I feel like because I'm trying to get on other people's level. Yeah, yeah, you lean. I tend to lean. I'm like a leaner. Yeah. Or like I sit back or like I try to like match levels with other people.

Yeah. Because I was six foot in sixth grade. So I've like kind of always been taller. So I try to like match theirs. But no, unfortunately like unlike other people, all natural. All natural. Except my spray tan. And this one randomly came from a few people.

And so I'm going to ask you what's the best place to get a burger in L.A. Or some. Multiple people ask that. In L.A. or the Valley. I don't know why. I'm like, why are you asking? The vegetarian. And do you post less of a burgers?

Zero things. I've never posted a burger in my life. But I do love that, though. One of my favorite burgers randomly is this place called Fat Burger. Fat burger's great. Fat burger's great. I'm trying to think of like. Luke loves Valley Smash.

He loves Valley Smash. The only problem with Valley Smash is you do have to eat it like right away. while it's hot. I feel like some you can kind of wait a few and it'll be okay. Fat Sal's is like a staple here. The burgers are just next level. Favorite fast food one, I would say like steak and shake. I mean, not steak and shake.

Well, actually, I do love steak and shake, the frisco melt. But I would say. In your soul right now, you're like, ooh, in the best fast food. And I know. And then I was like, oh, I got to go. I was like, why I'm here? I was like postmates. So we're like, what do you think?

But yeah, I think I would say there's so many, I'm not glad there's so many great burger places that I can't just think of the names off the top of my head, but those are the good one. That sounds probably best. Okay. What have you, again, we can't talk about the show,

but what have you learned about yourself from the whole being on a show experience that has surprised you? Like, good or bad? Is there anything that surprised you about your own self? I think I learned that my voice is valid and then I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was. Because a lot of times the thing that I think is most important and what I've always done is support other people and kind of take a back seat to things or not try to whatever. And then I realize like champion for other people.

And then and along with that, I also kind of even though I'll give my opinions, I kind of like, oh, What I, like, dim my, I don't want to say, I'm trying to think. I know. I was trying to say a different way. But like I dim myself and then I'm like, wait, why? Because my opinion's valid. There's no reason that you shouldn't listen to what I say on this. And I think I.

You tell everyone else their voice matters. So listen to your own advice. Exactly. I love that. Yeah. That's fantastic. Okay. And just to wrap it up, how do you feel like you achieve balance in?

life. So like I think about this all the time because our podcast is called balancing act. And I'm always before Kaya, I was like, I'm balancing work, which is also life, the show and life, right? And this podcast is still my life and having fun versus work and, you know, paying bills versus going out and like balance, balance, balance, right? But it's like life inevitably throws us like trials, failures, successes, is doors open, doors closed. You and I know better than anyone, like these are, in the most difficult moments, even, like, these are things that are good for us. And we say sensitive and saying true to ourselves.

And I think it can be very difficult. So is there something that you do say to yourself, think about something you prioritize to, like, keep balance? I think unfortunately I'm very bad at balance I'm like the worst person of balance I try to get better I just I'm... Why do you think that?

Because I'm very all in or all out as a person and it's very hard for me to then balance something when I'm all in I need to I need that's something I work on daily is okay sometimes like right now I'm trying to you know do things with my apartment do this do that

And if I can't do it all at once, I do none of it. And that's, I'm doing it very incorrectly. That's the ADHD. And so what I try to combat is I try to do one small thing, no matter what it is, get that done. And then that sense of accomplishment, like try to parlay that into another thing. Or then I'm like, okay, well, I did one thing related to this box. Now let's do it related to this box. And I try to space it out like that.

But I just feel like I am bad at it. but I have to everyday work at it. And I'm trying like harder and harder to like get to that level. I think. But I think like, oh, you have to have balance. It's a daily struggle for a lot of people. So like, I think it absolutely is a struggle for pretty. I mean, I don't know anyone who has perfect balance.

It's crazy. I think it's what we go through and the ebbs and blows of like everyday life is if the trials and tribulations are coming at you and trying to find joy in the day, if you're working too much, try to find a little bit of play. If you're playing too much, bring back a little sense of self to work for sure. But I think that's a phenomenal answer that I think a lot of people can very much relate to. Is there anything you're protecting in the season of your life and like, what does peace look like for you right now? You also, I love how you're like, that's another thing you love, you're like, I'm protecting my peace, which I think is great because I think that's

lot to do with Kaya. Exactly. And I know and I know that. But I also think it's important in the entertainment industry. It is. And I think it's important, um, social media is just, and the media outlets in general are such a weight at times, both positive and negative, but they, they, they, it really, it can be a burden and carry a really heavy weight on our shoulder. So I don't, protecting your inner peace is important. No, I, no, I agree. It's totally, it's very important. I think for me, Like, yeah, how are you able to? Yeah, I think I'm able to look at it objectively and look at it from like the zoomed-out perspective where I look at the bigger picture. I look at the long term.

I look at, you know, not the individual comment or the individual person. Also, I already know. I grew up. Most people don't like me. Or I'm, you know, too loud or I'm too this or whatever. Like we talked about in the beginning. So I am trained from a very young age to know that I am not. most people's cup of tea. And the people that I am their cup of tea, those are the people

that I want in my life anyway. So why am I trying to perform for the other people? Yeah. Like I'm serving Diet Coke, not, you know, not tea. So. Right. And I also think Loco, depending on the day. Sometimes we're just a cup of four loco, guys. But yeah, so that's how I think I, you know, I just look at it from, I'm not going to win everybody over and and that's okay. And so that protects my peace because I don't even let it get to the point where I'm not, where I have like someone trying to come at my piece. It's your sense of self. Yeah. Like you work hard to have a sense, a very strong sense of self to quiet the noise. And I've been very lucky that I don't get, maybe it's because, you know,

growing up gay, you get slurs and you get this. And so you do get hard. And so you do get hard. And that's why they say like gays are so funny or so sarcastic or witty or whatever because we grow up having to combat social situations all the time and make it fun and light when you know, we might actually be hurt by it. And so I think because of that armor that I built up, I'm pretty immune to most of that type of stuff. And I protect my peace easily. I'm glad with me you don't have an armor because we cry together. We laugh cry together. 100. I was like, there's a lot of tears both.

We sing Disney musicals together. That's something else I love about you. Period. Blood. I love you. Thank you for being here. I love you. Thank you for having me. As always, I'm so happy people are getting to know the deeper you a little bit more. I love you guys so much. Can't we talk to you next week? Thanks for listening. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Doty and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke double underscore Broderett.

Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes. Thanks for listening. See you next week. Life can feel overwhelming, but what if you had something to hold on to? In something to hold on to, registered psychotherapist Kate Robson offers bite-sized wisdom and creative exercises to help you navigate life's challenges with clarity. With an intimate introduction from Academy Award winner and best-selling author Sarah Polly, it is the perfect companion for anyone seeking balance.

Read or listen to Something to Hold On to by Kate Robson today, available on Spotify and wherever books are sold.