Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - Ask Me Anything!

Episode Date: December 10, 2023

Episode 80. In this episode, Kristen and Luke answer listener questions with a fun Q&A episode. When will they start trying to get pregnant again? Will Kristen ever be back on Vanderpump Rules? How did Luke know Kristen was ‘the one’? How do they deal with anxiety? And when are they getting married?! All these and so much more covered on this week’s episode. Sponsors: Get 15% off with the code DOUTE at Oneskin.co Download the DraftKings Casino app NOW, sign up with promo code DOUTE, and new customers get a deposit match up to ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS in casino credits when you deposit $5 or more! Go to Addyi.com and use code DOUTE for a $10 telemedicine appointment Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Email us: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Oh yeah, we have tons of questions from all of you, awesome fans out there, and Kristen is ready to answer them. Just me? You're ready, I'm like kind of ready. Some of them I'm like, huh. My brain, today my brain is kind of like dial up internet. I just hear that sound in the back of my head when I go to think.

I wish we could have a recording. We could just play the, door, door, door, door. You know, whatever it sounds like. How did it go? I know. I just botched it maybe. Maybe, I don't know.

It was pretty good. Were you even like alive? Yeah, you were alive maybe that was pretty good. Okay. Were you in like a live? Yeah, you were alive and that was a Dail Internet Okay guys, yeah, so we did a Q&A and asked me anything and you guys really went for it It was like a mod podge of Hodgepodge mod podge what is it called? Hodgepodge

Mod Podge Mod Podge is the stuff that you used to make crafts. One of my rare hobbies, arts and crafts, we'll get to that. Okay, so first and foremost, a ton of well wishes. And like, are we okay questions, words of kindness, thoughts to stay strong to both of us, which was so kind, it was thoughtful, very appreciated, and also a ton of messages, emails, notes from all of you women out there who are going through miscarriages, actually pregnancy losses, I'd like to say it

that way, way too recently, even currently. So I'm really glad that we did share. There were some, I read the emails too. Some women that went through it, you know, a decade or more ago, and they say it's something that you'll never forget. It's something that'll stick with you, and they wanted to, you know, a decade or more ago and they say it's something that you'll never forget. It's something that'll stick with you and they wanted to, you know, wish encouragement in this time because they know that it feels like how do you get over, how do you move on and that eventually you will? Kind of, you don't move on. You don't forget. But you don't forget exactly.

And for all of you babes out there saying you feel alone in the comments on this, like definitely feel free to DM me. I totally recommend, again, I'm sure there's other apps out there, but what really has helped me currently and when we were, you know, when this was a little more fresh for us was, for me it was the flow app because they have those secret message boards. If you didn't hear me talk about this before, they have these like secret forum boards that you can just talk to people without telling them your name or where you're from or anything like that and there's a lot of support on there. And I'm sure if you just look it up, there's probably support everywhere for you.

So we love you guys and I don't want anyone to feel alone because it is a very like isolating feeling. So we just, we love you. So thank you. How are you doing? Luke, by the way, are you doing good today? A little bit in your brain? Yeah, I'm alright. Yeah, that's good. Okay. Feeling pretty good.

I'm ready. Ready to get some answers to some of these questions. Okay. Well, not when it's will we start trying again? When will we start trying again? It's my question, but we have we are. I guess technically kind of kind of hopefully. I don't know. I got the okay from my doctor about 10 days after and when I started feeling physically and noticing that I was physically better, I was not bleeding anymore. I wasn't cramping anymore. My body kind of went back to feeling how it was pre-pregnancy, which is super wild.

And I texted and just asked, are we okay to start trying? And he said, yes, you are. Yeah, we'll see. The answer is yes. The answer is yes. Next question, why did we choose to share about the miscarriage? I think number, what for me? Like, I need to talk through my feelings. And doing this podcast for you guys, I think we would have ended up taking like a month off. Had we not shared it because I didn't know what else to talk about. So that's part of it.

And the other part that I will say for you is that we both kind of felt like we were lying. Like there were things we were covering up because of the early timing, or you know, there's just a timing where we were in the whole thing. And until we knew what was really happening we wanted to kind of keep some things close to the chest and we were so open and honest on

this podcast that felt like we had to come clean on what was going on not that you know I guess we don't have to but ultimately it did make us feel better like we can get back into you know back in the groove on this not feel like we're in this weird space, like, okay, we can't talk about this, we can kind of talk about this. We have this big giant secret. Yeah, and I mean, I don't know, when have you guys ever known me to not, like, wear my heart on my sleeve

and just be really out and open and honest about everything? So it helps me to talk about it. It wasn't easy to necessarily talk about with a microphone at my hand, but because of all the positive responses that we got from everybody who said that they were feeling alone that really made it all worth it for me. Yeah, I agree. And you know, my perspective is obviously, obviously, different than yours, but it just

made me so happy to hear how many people it helped all the people that are reaching out to us. And I imagine there are a lot of people that didn't reach out that really felt seen. I felt like, okay, I'm not alone in this situation, so that's a big part of it. You're not men and female, like going through that in your relationship. A question for you next. How does balancing stress and life between James May, podcasting, and return to TV work for you?

It is not easy. I'm like this weird person where part of me is like I have to give 110% to each project but then I can't just have one project. I'm way too, like my attention, obviously my ADD, I need to have multiple things going on but I would be lying if I said I didn't have help. I have to have some help, I have to have like a partner in crime. Obviously I have Luke for the podcast, I have an amazing partner named Suzanne, and Brett with James May now, which is why I was confident and able to relaunch it. But that's kind of that. Yeah, I just, you need to have people that are very close to you that you can trust, that you know will respond for me because I was actually just talking to a friend

a second ago about having the expectations that you put on friends or people in your life. And I am the kind of person who will take the shirt off my back, stop something in the middle of my day to help someone else out and not everyone's like that. And that is okay. But you have to be able to turn to people, you have to have a little squad, right,

that you know that you can always turn to if you need help. If you need to bounce ideas off of someone, if you need someone to run an errand with you, whatever it is. So that's sort of how I do it. I just ask for help and do the best I can. Yeah, that makes sense.

And you know I see it happen. So will you be back on Vanderpump? That's a hard no, not as of right now, ever. That is a no for Kristen. Now, if you watch closely, you might catch a cameo of me in the season of Vanderpump. You might. You might. Hard to say.

We'll see. We'll see. Yeah. Oh, this is a question. How do I feel about Vanderpump rules being on Netflix? Didn't know that. So I googled it as soon as I read a question. How do I feel about Vanderpump rules being on Netflix? Didn't know that. So I googled it as soon as I read this question. And yeah, I guess seasons one and two

are on Vanderpump rules now. So it's like a whole new audience gets to watch it, which is so great. We don't get paid for that. So I hope the network is super happy with all the cash flow that we're eating. Oh, yeah. Good for Bravo.

I'm not super happy about this new group of people getting to watch seasons one and two, because we all know how I felt about that. So all of you, avid Netflix watchers out there. Don't give up on me just because you're watching something from a decade ago, okay? Fair enough. Yeah.

Another question about Vanderprung rules. Why wasn't Ariana on Vanderpump rule season one? If you don't know the answer, well, obviously this person did not. I think a lot of people do know. You will catch a tiny glimpse of Ariana in season one. Sheena is doing like a dance practice. And I think you just barely see the side of her head

or something, but Ariana just, from what I remember, we weren't friends then, but she just had no desire whatsoever to be on the show. So that was kind of that. She just didn't want to do it. Like she's like, no thanks, not for me. That's that. And then she got the opportunity opportunity to be bumped up the sur and the rest of the history of it. Yeah, I'm sure it's something well, we'll have to ask her. We'll have to get her on the pod and ask her. So babe, do you get mad when people call you crazy? Or do you just own it? Now I just own it.

It does not bother me at all. I think it was something about when Michelle Alexander and I wrote my book, our book, he's making you crazy. Like our whole point was really to dive in and say we're reclaiming the C word. And I'm not talking about C next Tuesday. I'm talking about about seeing next Tuesday, I'm talking about, they were crazy.

Like, what does that even mean? Oh, like I'm tired of being gasslet. It means I'm passionate, it means I care. Have I ever called you crazy? No. I don't think I have, but I'd imagine though. It's not really your ammo, like when you're mad, you don't revert to like, you're a psycho, you're crazy.

But also I don't act that way, do you? Do I? Sometimes I don't know what you're doing. You're giving me a funny look. Sometimes I don't know what to like, you're a sine cow, you're crazy. But also, I don't act that way to you. Do I? Sometimes I don't know what you're doing. You're giving me a funny look. Sometimes I don't know what's going on upstairs. But I don't like yelling at you and stuff. Like, I'm not like, oh my God, well, I don't have meltdowns at you.

I have my own personal demon meltdowns. Yeah, that's fair. And do you think it would hit a lot differently if I'm like, you're fucking crazy? No. No, it wouldn't. I would make me laugh. Okay, fair.

Well, then I'll do it. That's how next time we're in a little tiff, I'm going to break you out of it by calling you fucking crazy. Yeah, that would make me laugh so hard. I'm going to be like, that's right, sleep with your eyes open, bitch. See if this comes true. We'll come back to you on this. Yeah, we will.

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Gambling problem call 800 Gamilar or visit www.1800gambler.net. And Connecticut helps available for problem gambling, call 888-7897777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly 21 and over. Basically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only, void in Ontario. Eligibility and deposit restrictions apply. One per opted-in new customer. $5 wage required, max $100 in casino credit awarded, which is required to play through within seven days. Terms at casino.draftkings.com slash holidays on the house. Restrictions apply. How did I grow so much therapy, self-reflection, and really finding my tribe, finding my friends who love me for me, who love my quirks, who love just love me for who I am, who don't want to change me,

who don't call me erratic and crazy and this and that and unfocused and just all the little things about myself that like maybe I'm not like the most proud of. My friends now, my best friends love me for all of those things. So if you're hanging out with people that don't make you feel good about yourself, find some new friends because they're not your real friends. Totally. And if you want growth personally, it's effort and self-reflection. I think you agree 100%. You have to put in the effort, you've got to put in the work and you've got

to reflect and see those behaviors and what triggered them and why you acted that way and do your best to react differently when you're back in that situation and sometimes just avoid those situations. Exactly. Boom. Luke, how did you know that I was the one and how did you know that or how did we know we were ready for a baby? The questions were both of us. So how did you know I was the one? You know, that's, that's a, do you have an answer? Tough question. I mean, as far as how I knew you know, you're different than everyone else, anyone else have ever dated in most ways. I mean, you're hot, like my exes, but that's, but you're hot in a different way.

You're definitely the tallest. You live in California. There are so many things that are different. That just, I don't know, it's just felt right since the beginning. I feel like the first few months of us talking and hanging out and going on vacation together, it was just me trying to get you to see the light.

I'm like, hey, look, this is us. Come on. Come to the light, Harold. I'll come to the light, honey. You know as well as I do how this feels. I agree with you. And for me, I think it was consistency and it was you being so persistent,

but it was also just like, it was easy. I mean, it was hard. It was hard because there were things about it that were difficult, like, we don't live in the same state. We had to put a lot of effort in, but it was just easy to talk to you. It was easy to be with you. I wasn't changing myself for you.

Right, and I agree, and I don't know if that ever had anybody in my life that I've been able to be on the phone for like five, six hours straight and not realize it. Yeah. With us being at one point I was in Indiana, Chris and was in California and obviously three hour time difference made things tough. But I'd end up being up till 3 a.m. not even realizing it because we've been on the phone

since nine. And just earbuds in, still doing our thing. We're not just sitting there talking, but we're just getting to know each other and everything flowed so naturally. It just felt like a real- There was a lot of trust in no judgment, too. That was a big part of it, yeah. Yep.

And then the baby part of this, as far as the way I would say it is that I believe that being ready for that, no one is truly ready, because no one really knows what to expect, but you have a mindset, you evolve to a mindset where you are ready to take on the unknown and the desire to bring another life into the world and to make them the priority.

And I think that is really what it is. I don't know for sure, I mean, we're in an apartment, neither of us wanna be here necessarily. So we're not as ready as we could be, but I think we're in the same mindset Yeah, I agree with you. I mean like we don't know what we don't know right? That's like a really valuable thing that I learned a long time ago is like you know what you know You don't know what you don't know so you need to start learning right and we definitely don't know what it's like to be parents Because we haven't been parents and we won't know until we are parents, but I feel very comfortable jumping into anything with you.

Oh, thank you, baby. I do. You don't want to say, you always land on two feet. I do. And I usually fall. So I always land on my feet. Okay, so you'll jump into anything with me. That means when we get back to it, yeah, we'll get crazy.

We'll do a little poor plunge. You want to like jump in my dad's pond with me? We'll when we get back to it. Yeah, we don't get crazy. We'll do a little polar plunge. You want to jump in my dad's pond with me? We'll see. I'll do it. We'll see. I'll tape you. Fair. How about that?

Yeah, I didn't figure you would. Where are the puppies that happy as California or Colorado? I think that all of, Jill obviously, Colorado. But I do think that all three of them love the whole, open the door. Your off leash. You get to go like sniff and pee wherever. No traffic. There's no, you know, cars are danger. The only potential danger would be Kristen's little dogs

left unattended and. Which would never happen. Right. So yeah, that doesn't happen. No, they definitely love they love Colorado. They love going to the Midwest. They just don't like cold leather, they're just like me. Yeah, you have too little divas. But they were both born and raised in California. So like they go to cold weather and they're like, oh, hell no, I get it. They get it from their mama.

That's fair, you do have jackets for them. You have vests to keep them warm. Try putting booties on those little babies. Yeah, that doesn't work. That's a scary call. Ooh, okay. So, yeah, no booties on the dogs. They like Colorado, Indiana, Michigan, just the ability to get out and move around, not

being an apartment, no leashes, but they don't like the cold weather. So next question. What part of Michigan are you from and what's your favorite thing to eat from there? I believe I know the answer to both these questions. You do. So guys, I'm from a city called Dear Wormish again just outside of Detroit. So I actually, I do like claim Detroit if people aren't familiar with Dear Worm, but Dear Worm is like, Henry Ford. Through all the cars we're built and the cars are from. So like, remember that part of

it. It's also the largest air-rich population in the world outside of the Middle East. So my favorite thing to eat from there is Lebanese food. My favorite restaurant is La Pida in Dearborn, Michigan. Highly recommend nothing like it. You'll never have hummus like that in your freaking life than if you go to Dearborn. It's one thing I crave that I miss so, so, so much living in California because we have all these quote-unquote Mediterranean restaurants and it's like, it's Greek, it's this, it's that, it's like this fusion and it's just not the same.

So whenever my sister comes to visit, she buys a bunch of Lebanese food and she brings on the plate with her. You did, you took me there last year. It did. When we went to, we went on the whole Midwest too or meet our families when we told everybody that we weren't dating. Yeah. Oh my god, I cannot wait. No, we're not dating yet. No, no, no. Yeah.

We're just traveling across the country to hang out together and meet each other's families. We're not dating. Not my boyfriend, guys. Definitely not. We are crazy. But guys, just to tag on to that, why don't you say tag on so much lately?

It's weird. But we're going to do kind of like a best of episode because we've now had our podcast officially for an entire year. And we want to go back to some of the very like the ones that you guys listen to the most, the ones you loved the most, but also the ones from the very beginning when we were saying we were not dating. And the cringe-worthy stuff like I, I know I've evolved in this as a partner with you, because my experience on a mic was not existent, aside from a best man's speech

when my brother got married. Before doing this podcast, so my evolution, I want to look back, I guess, and see how bad I was to start. And yeah. I'll play some clips in. Anyway, I just want to get into that. What was my favorite vacation during Vanderpump rules? That is a good question that I don't know

if I have an answer to if I'm being honest. No, you know what it was? It was New Orleans. New Orleans was my favorite. Even though Schwartz and I got in a fight while he was in drag and it kind of all turned to shit, the actual vacation itself, and getting to go to like Stasi's childhood home

before her dad moved out. And just getting to kind of see where Stasi was from, I think was way more fun than going to Cabo and getting drunk. Miami and getting drunk. Vegas and getting drunk. It's like, wah, wah, wah. So New Orleans, yep, that was my favorite. Cool.

New Orleans is a lot of fun. So are you ever going to Miami again? Or are we going to Miami? Okay, listen y'all, Miami's not my favorite place. Sorry if you're from Florida. I lived there for like not very long, but it was long enough back in the day in like 2005, 2006. It's just not my cup of tea.

I like Florida, but Miami Miami not really my vibe anymore. Luke, if you could be any animal, what would you be in why? So, I have pondered this a lot. Have you now? Believe it or not, I have. Do you lose sleep over it? I don't lose sleep over it, but you know, there are ups and downs to being all animals, obviously. Okay, well, I would be a draft because I love them and I think they're beautiful and magical and majestic.

I understand. That's the story. They have the best eyelashes, they have long necks, they can see everything, they're vegetarian. I'm basically between a golden eagle and a dolphin because you're the king's... So would you be a hybrid if one exists? If I could swim... Swim and fly. ...and fly, so, you know, I'll be honest.

This is sex level, and what else matters? The offense have a lot of sex. It sounds like be great fun. Also, you know, there's never any traffic underwater. There's so much space. Let me know if it looks true. It looks like a great time. You get to hang out with your friends.

You do flips and catch fish all the time. I mean, sounds so wrong. I love this right now. How excited am I about the lions? I wish we had talked about football and here more, but it's not a football podcast, but y'all, I am, it is like the one sport that I am highly obsessed with. I've been a lion's fan my whole life.

We've never been good the entire time I've been alive and we're killing it so there were some good years You made the playoffs a couple times, but when I was really really young I Mean the Calvin Johnson era real of a young I was super young in the early 90s. Yeah, anyway I'm just super excited and if I don't I don't want to jinx anything. I'm just gonna leave it at that Yeah, don't jake's anything. I'm really excited. Okay, no one asks, but I'm a cult fan and the cult are also, you know, on our heater right now, they've won quite a few in a row and our dream is a cult, sorry, a cult's

lion's super bowl, highly unlikely, less likely for the cult, but that's what we're dreaming for. So I can beat it. Tips for anxiety, Luke, you are not a very anxious person, but when you have moments Yeah, do you have any tips? I have a ton. Yeah, I think something that is massively underrated and It is gotta be like an option, but if you take a hot shower breathing obviously helps but like no honestly A hot shower is like very calming is put you in a happy place helps you resetter Honestly, a hot shower is very calming, it puts you in a happy place, helps you resetter.

That's true. I agree with that. If you're really anxious about something coming up, you're about to leave, you have time to take a quick shower and relax, and under the hot water, it feels good. Then you're confident and clean and all the good stuff. So wash away the anxiety people.

I think, as much as I've heard it a million times, like go for a walk. I'm like, I can't open my apartment door. I cannot leave. If you can force yourself to go outside, especially if it's sunny and get a breath of fresh air, it is so helpful. But for me, it's really just laughing, which is very hard to do when you're feeling anxious. I go down a rabbit hole of funny YouTube videos. I was going to say, YouTube or social media, you have some accounts that you go to that make you laugh and cry and get your mind off of what's making you anxious. So I either go for laughing or happy tears. Military wives, or military couples being reunited and

then kids falling to be honest. You know, shit like that. It's hysterical. It just completely takes me out of that dark like spiral that I'm going down when I'm anxious. Which to me is a little contradictory because I don't think social media in any way is good for anxiety unless you can isolate. Yeah, unless you can really isolate what you're looking for, which you can, but you catch yourself scrolling, trying to relieve anxiety, it's probably not gonna help.

The worst, the worst, the worst. And to honestly, you need to have at least one or two good friends, especially friends from out of town that you can catch up with, that completely take you out of whatever you're thinking about. If you have a friend that you can talk about something just like so, like off the cuff, like something about back home, if you're, I don't know, somewhere used to live, or if your friend has like new news,

or your friend is going through something for me helping other people takes me out of my own anxiety. That's just for me personally. One piece of advice you would give a young couple about to buy their first home together. Do you mean to take this one, babe? Well, I'm going to give mine and then I'll let you run with it. Mine is just say no to expensive furniture. It was the biggest mistake that I made.

And looking back, I remember how much shit certain people gave Ariana when she and Santa Bob bought that house. And they were like, you don't even have furniture yet. You don't even have furniture. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So smart. The second I moved into mine, yes, it was, I had a, well, and also my next thing is a budget.

You have to have a budget, and that was not something I was good with. But I did have certain money set aside that I was like, oh, I can go by furniture. I can decorate, which I love to decorate. But I wasn't being conscious about what I was spending on what. And it was like, I wasn't choosing function over fashion. I was choosing fashion over function.

So that's my advice. And also get bids from contractors. Don't just say yes to like the first thing, because that was a huge mistake that I made. So I learned a lot in my first house. If you're not buying a turnkey, so I'm gonna bring in the dynamic of buying a house together, because Kristin Butterhouse herself.

Yes. I have a real estate license. I am familiar with people buying their first home together. Now, if you have not lived together first, just like temper your expectations, buy a low budget and try to have, like, wrap your head around the tasks, the maintenance tasks

and budget for your maintenance because that is a thing that you don't understand until you have owned. There are things that are on you. There is no maintenance you call to come fix something. Oh yeah, you get an apartment, you just call your maintenance man. Oh, like my things broken. Oh, I need this, I need that. Nope.

Exactly. It's all on you. Exactly. So either go home warranty route or definitely budget to save split up responsibilities. I mean, taking trash out isn't just dropping it down a shoot. You got to get it out to the curb by a certain time or your cans are going to be full for another week.

That's how that works. There's a typically a lawn to mow. There are other chores that come up. I think buy below budget, temper your expectations, and be ready to overcome some obstacles. I love that. Yeah, good luck. Yeah, and good luck. We wish you all the best.

So, Kristen, who does the dishes? We both do. 100% we do. Yep, but I couldn't live without a dishwasher. I'm not going to lie. I'm not trying to live without a dishwasher, again, in my life, at any point. Yeah, but we both do. We're both very good at splitting up.

That's very, I'd say it's very 50-50-50 for us on dishes. Yeah. It might. It's a look of vegetarian also. Am I a vegetarian? Are you guys crazy? Is this a first-time listener or a never-time listener? It could be a first-time listener.

That's why we're going to answer some of these over again. I am. I'd say probably the furthest thing from a vegetarian. I will never not eat meat, seafood, eggs, whatever, all the things coming from animals. I, Kristen's gonna hate me, but I do think that we are supposed to eat animals personally, but you know, everyone's got their own opinion.

I love meat, I love fish, I love fish more, fish and seafood more than anything. So, no, I'm not a vegetarian. It's definitely not a vegetarian. But a healthy eater. We'll say that. You eat well. Sometimes I do like Taco Bell, but who doesn't?

Right. Kristen, do you still have this sexy green dress? Sure do, Shorty. I do, guys. Check my TikTok. It's there. I got it back from Stasi's Little Sister. I can't believe I probably don't,

I don't think I own anything older than that green dress. Really? Yeah, and it still kind of fits. Yeah, your boobs want to pop out. Oh, yeah, they do. But yeah, I still like it on you. Thanks, babe. How did Ariana and I become friends?

Yeah, they didn't. I think it's a one thing Ariana and I both had wished mostly because then we don't have to answer this question all the time. but we had wished that Vanderpimp rules would have shown more of and not just skipped right past, but it honestly just took time in my opinion and we'd have to ask her how she feels. Ariana gets your ass on this podcast, but I think time heals a lot of wounds. I think it was my actions changing and not just my words backing off. I think she was able to see me as like an equal and like a human being and not just this

crazy person who was trying to break up her relationship back in the day. And I think from outside perspective, obviously I'm not you and don't understand everything, but I think once The whole sand of all thing was settled there together. They're happy together You moved on yep think that is like okay. It's all behind us. We don't have to hate each other So let's actually like figure out if we like each other right And we realized that we had a lot more in common than we thought we did Yeah, makes sense to me sister

Do we watch real housewives of anything? That's a negative. I do not either. I used to watch Beverly Hills. I'm obviously familiar with a lot of the franchises, but it's just not my particular cup of tea. You know, that might be more my cup of tea than recapping Vanderpump rules. So, if you want, if everybody wants, look, I will volunteer than recapping Vanderpump rules. So if you want, if everybody wants, look, I will volunteer to replace the Vanderpump recaps with recapping new housewives shows.

Okay, we can find another Bravo show. I'm volunteering that. Okay, yeah, guys, we're pretty, yeah, I am down. We're pretty spent on the old Vanderpump rules. Season two, I knew it was gonna throw us through a loop and it did. So while we're on the subject, let's just skip ahead to another question we have. What was the hardest episode for us to watch in the season two recaps?

It was season two in general, I think, but it was the episode that I had Ryan Bailey take over. Was it that one or the one Gina came in on the right? No, it was the one Gina came in on. The one Gina came in on for me, that was definitely the most difficult. The surprise party, the bitch slap hurt in on the way. Or the one, no, it was the one Gina came in on. The one Gina came in on for me, that was definitely the most difficult. The one's the prize party, the bitch slap hurt her on the world. Yeah, that one, I was like six minutes in

and I'm like, I wish my brain didn't generate pictures like fucking AI. I wanted to beat my head against the wall and yeah, so that's where I tried to continue watching and let that fade from my brain. It didn't work. So I told Chris, and can we figure out any other way to do this? Because this is like the most miserable thing I want to inflict pain on myself because

of how bad this feels. So. And if I were in your position, I would feel the exact same way. Like it's one thing I was like talking about like, oh, the scroll you dated back in the day, blah, blah, blah, but having to like watch it here about it on television, like in a story form, I would not be able to do it. Why put yourself through that? Yeah, and I have actually received multiple DMs saying,

why are you putting yourself through this misery? Right. And you know, whatever, I respond or I don't sometimes. But ultimately, it wasn't that miserable until then. So, we definitely get a lot of positive feedback on the recaps we've done and people being very excited, but I did get some DMs, a lot of DMs from you guys being like, well you're not really giving us what we want. We want the behind the scenes, we want the this, we want the that.

So there are some things that I just don't want to talk about and I'll give you an example Only because Stasi did this at her podcast tour when everybody was dying to know because she brought it back up What was said that resulted in Stasi smacking me? I'm not Protecting Stasi by not telling you because she chose not to it's because something that she and I both chose to keep Between us that's just no offense, but not to. It's because something that she and I both chose to keep between us. That's just no offense, but not really if anyone's business. And we just don't feel like going there anymore. It's over, we're past it. And that's why. So it wasn't just like, I'm sitting here like,

Ostasy doesn't want me to talk about it. So I'm not going to, we both don't want to. And on top of that, I'm not going to lie. I got in a little bit of hot water for bringing up something on the podcast that was a little too behind the scenes. So there are some things that we just have to leave for the viewer imagination because it is a television show at the end of the day and it's just, I think for Luke and I to keep doing these readcafs, it's just getting a little bit too difficult because I'm already knowing like I'm skipping season three, I might skip part of season four. There's just certain things We don't want to put ourselves through. Yeah, yeah I think a lot of you do understand that as well right with contracts with Bravo or whatever that you can't give away certain trade secrets

Certain things and that line has been towed maybe slightly crossed at times and That is resulted in You know a little bit of a talking to and we're not trying to push our luck. So that's where we are with that. But maybe one day. Maybe one day. One day, I'll tell you this, here's a little tidbit.

I have been writing a book far before I was writing, he's making you crazy, that I still touch on every now and then that is an absolute wild tell-all. Maybe that'll come out like a decade. I don't even know. Maybe it never will, I don't know. That's what I was gonna say.

Like, ask us in 2035. Yeah. And then, yeah, we'll talk about it then. Then we'll see where we're feeling. How we're feeling. All right, back to the questions. We've got a lot to get through. Babe, what's our favorite way to spend date night?

So I will say we just had a date night not that long ago that was really, really, really fun. And we went to dinner, OK. And then we went and saw a play in Burbank in the Valley. And it was so much fun and something so different. And I now follow this account on Instagram or a couple of accounts and I'm sure cities near you have them as well where it's kind of like bucket list, Los Angeles or like secret cool things to do. And I know LA is a big city but I'm sure that

you can Google these things, you know, better than TripAdvisor. And it just kind of tells you about like little interactive things or restaurants or like mini golf or like just things you might not know that are even really close to your house or somewhere you can venture out an hour or two and do. So I've been taking note of some of those things as well. Yeah, I agree. I think Kristen knows that one of my favorite types of date nights isn't necessarily going

out. It is when we cook dinner together. So Kristen doesn't have any experience or know how with cooking any kind of meat. So, when I want some of that kind of protein in my dinner, we are both in the kitchen. We're having a good time making jokes, cooking food. We sit down, have a great meal. Then, you know, we put on a movie and...

Play board games. Or play board games. Sometimes, if the movie or show we put on isn't what we want, we'll play a, we'll play back game and on the couch it isn't bit. I don't know, I just like the whole staying inside doing it ourselves, it doesn't have to be TV involved, but like something that's more intimate with the two of us without outside, outside like influence.

Yeah, and I love sweatpants. You do. So much. Yeah, but I do, I definitely want to do more exploring. I've seen so little of California. That's a massive state. And there's so many cool things and so many things that are more up my alley than Los Angeles.

Mm-hmm. And in the coming months, I am going to drag Chris and Zass out the door before she's ready to get out of bed. And we're going to go do some cool stuff. Okay, love it. Love that babe. Am I thinking of writing another book? Okay, so let's take this tell-all book out of bed. And we're gonna go do some cool stuff. Okay, love it. Love that babe. Am I thinking of writing another book? Okay, so let's take this telebook out of the way,

but yes, I would love to write another book with Michelle. And I would also still really, really love to adapt the first book that we wrote. Because that was the whole reason why Michelle and I sat down to write, he's making it crazy to begin with, was to adapt it to television or to film. And so for those of you that don't know, my good friend Michelle Alexander,

who was my co-author, not my ghost writer on my book, I asked her to be a part of it because she's a brilliant writer, she's hilarious, she's an amazing storyteller, and she was such a great teacher in teaching me how to punch things up to cut the fat. And we just had the best time. And she also wrote a little book you might know called How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Anyone ever heard of that book?

That's right. So I would definitely love nothing more than to write with Michelle again. Ladies, did you know that one of the most common complaints from women about their sexual health is that frustrating low libido? Our sex drives can decline, but it's also treatable. Addy, or flabancerin, is FDA approved and has been clinically proven to increase sexual desire in certain pre-menopausal women who are bothered by a low libido. So if you feel like you've lost your desire and want to get it back, stop falling for the stakeholders and ask your doctor about Adi today.

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$10 telemedicine appointment to find out if addy is right for you. Let's speed round some of these babe. All right, speed round time. What is our favorite activity to do together? I said brain games. Brain games. Oh, backgammon. We do world. It's one door. Most days we play Splendor and you've gotten lucky a couple of times beating me. I'm supposed to be speed round kids.

Okay. Anyway, yeah. So games and that sort of thing. All right, baby, how tall are we? I'm five, nine. I'm six, two-ish. What do you mean, ish? I think I'm like a hair under. I don't think I'm going to measure that six, two. I'm six to wish. What do you mean ish? I think I'm like a hair under I don't think I'm measured at six two I'm more than six one and a half and my

girlfriend's with Brittany yes of course Brittany is one of my LABF's I know we haven't posted much lately but I haven't I've been just kind of with Luke and like a little bit of a homebody and I have other friends too guys someone wrote that they are a server and how much money did we make in tips from sir. So it's sir, we pulled tips and honestly, it just depended the most I'd ever made was like insane amount when a guy was really drunk.

And I would say I don't know, a couple, two, three hundred bucks a night probably on average. Okay, that's not that different from what I did with doing Colorado. Why does LVP hate you? Ask her. Luke, have you ever been to Sur? Yes.

And have you ever met Lisa? Yes. Okay. Very briefly. There was no conversation. Kristen was like, this is my boyfriend. She's like, oh, hi. And then walked away.

Yeah. Luke, what is something people would be surprised to learn about me? Something people would be surprised to learn about Kristin. But I would be surprised to learn about, Kristen. I don't really know that well what the public impression is of you at the moment. I know how it's involved or whatever. I'm saying, I know you, but to try to separate my brain

from where everyone else thinks something that they would be surprised to know about you. We can come back to it at the end, if you'd like. Yeah, let's come back to that. That's a little deeper thinking. What is your favorite thing about one another that is not physical? Luke, for me, it's your patience, your kindness,

and your work ethic. I love your humility and how non-bougie you are. Thank you. That is absolutely my favorite thing. Thank you. Do I have current beef with Janet? I don't have any beef. We're just not friends.

How did my hair get so long? Extensions. Hair Boss Hollywood in LA. I'm just, I had a Janet response. Just, yeah, it's done me a little bit. Anyway, who hit on who first? How did we meet? What do you think hit on who first?

Well, you were totally not picking up on me hitting on you the night before when you were still focused on. Oh, that's true. Whatever. I guess I wasn't really hitting on you. I'd you just were like. Definitely did not pick that up. You were like, I don't think you even know I existed.

I didn't. Well, you knew I existed. You just didn't know I was in the same building or counting your state as you. Because I tried to get you a drink, try to do this or that. And your mind was not. I was just completely in another planet. Yes.

Yes. So that was the night before the wedding. And yeah, then the next day, I don't know. You know, in the morning, when we started actually like flirting, everything, I was pretty drunk still from the night before. I know you were. So I don't know who initiated the conversation. No idea.

Yeah, I don't know. I think I was just like, my brain was wrapped up in a shitty X by the next day. I no longer had my phone. I wasn't thinking about that. I was surrounded by good friends and great weather and beauty of Colorado. And then I was like, wow, he cute. And I was like, oh, you know, I don't know. You told me you were like, oh, he's taller than I remember. And he's? You were taller than I remember like wow he cute and I was like oh you know I don't know. You told me you were like oh he's taller than I remember.

And he's? You were taller than I remember. And he's cute too. Yeah. Tall equals hot almost immediately you guys it's true. Do Katie and I live next door still and are we friends? Yes Katie and I do live down the hall from each other. We don't hang out often but I consider Katie family.

So babe when is the show coming out? I don't know. I, but I consider Katie family. So, babe, when is the go-show coming out? I don't know. I hope in the next few months, I have not heard, but I'm so ready because we filmed this like forever ago, and I'm really excited. I'm excited too. I've been watching House of villains, and it is incredibly entertaining. I'll be straight up. I wanted to see Jack's on it, Jack's the friend of mine, and I wanted to see him on it, and I knew he was

part of it, but now I'm hooked on the show. The show is great. Honestly, putting all these people that everyone knows you can't trust anybody else in the same house competing, it's actually pretty great. And ours will be a lot funnier. It's like lighter and funnier. Oh yeah, I can't wait for it. Luke, what are your proudest accomplishments?

Ah, it's so tough. I need to like reflect on this more often. I'm not good at patting myself on the back. I always kind of analyze how I can do better and what the next thing is. So my proudest accomplishments are my amazing well-behaved dogs, my book, obviously my clothing line, like obviously all these credits of things that I've done, but also my relationship with Luke, my awesome friendships, I feel very proud of and just like not giving up on life when shit gets hard. I'm pretty proud of that. Okay, I'm gonna tag on to that and say that I'm proud of our healthy relationship because I did not come from a healthy relationship

prior to this, neither to do. So I'm proud of myself for finally moving on and learning from my past and having a very happy, awesome relationship with you. I love you, that's so cute babe. What's your morning routine? What is our morning routine? My morning routine is I get out of bed,

I tell Kristen what time it is, she goes back to sleep. Sometimes. Typically. I go make coffee. You can't say typically, like during the pregnancy, I was up so early, I was in bed so early. Okay, for one month of the last year,

Kristen was up early. For the rest of the 11 months, which would be make it typical, that I'm up first, and yeah, I get up, make coffee, unload the dishwasher, reload it, there's anything left from the night before, sometimes a shower, not every day. In the morning, you mean?

Yeah, that's what I mean in the morning. Sometimes I'm like, sometimes a shower, sometimes I don't. No, there's that, and I really like to add working out, I can't claim that that has not been part of my morning routine, but I need it to be. Yeah. Me, it's vitamins, walk my dogs, or Luke and I walking the dogs, feed my dogs, then feed myself.

It basically goes like everything else first. Go through my list for the day to try to figure out what I can accomplish, what I cannot, not to overwhelm myself and make a lot of lists and try not to be too ADD. Pretty much. Boom, there it is. All right, favorite reality show and non-reality show. My favorite reality show is Wicked Tuna. My favorite is Naked and Afraid Celebrity I.O.U. in the Kardashians.

Okay, I like Naked and Afraid and House of villains is growing on me. But that's that. Favorite non-reality show. Non-reality. Shits Creek was so good. I've seen it a couple of times. Yeah, Shits Creek was great.

I watched all Blacklist during the pandemic, and I loved that. We really love Lessons in Chemistry right now. I think right now, as far as anything that's coming out, I have nothing on my list that I'm waiting for another episode of. What are some of your rare hobbies? So in Luke's house question, what did you say, Luke?

I said, you have hobbies. Yeah, that's what he freaking said. Okay, then her first answer is, well, James May is a hobby. Well, you know, this, the other, I'm like, that's work. Hobby is what you do to get your mind off of work. You can't work. But I have somehow learned to turn my hobbies into work.

Okay, then. I love designing. So I got a clothing life. It's no longer a hobby. What are you doing? I mean, we could look up the webster definition of hobby. Anyway, my rare hobbies. I like Frisbee sports. I like disc golf.

I like ultimate Frisbee. I like to fish. Yeah, that's most of it. I do stew random little projects and Colorado too. Yeah, hunting golf. That's not really rare, but yeah, that's that. I love to play Splendor. I mean, I love board games in general.

Any sort of brain games like make me really happy. When I'm by myself, I like to relearn sign language at times. When I'm by myself, I like to play guitar. When I'm by myself, I like to do all these things. And I love interior decorating, which can get me into trouble with purchasing too many things on Amazon. You just gotta tell me where to hang it, babe. Yeah, that's true. That's the biggest hurdle for you on that hobby. What are we getting married? Wait, are we getting married? Ha, big fast. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, going in April. I'm going in New Zealand in April and I couldn't be more excited. It's been a dream of mine since elementary school. Once I learned that New Zealand existed, I'm like, I need to go there.

That's place sounds like a dream. I would love to go to New Zealand as well. I would love to go to Bali. I would love, I would love to go to Jamaica. I've never been. Yeah, just, I'm a very like beachy kind of gal. Yeah. Are you coming with me? Yeah, no, I'm not.

That's your voice trip, I'm not going. Okay, well it's just one other guy going with me. Fair. Babe, is your back hurt from carrying fan-of-home rules, beginning seasons? Yes, but Luke is a fantastic masseuse. Decent at best. You're amazing.

But I put in the effort, so that's what matters. How is living together, Ben? And do we have any advice from moving in with a partner? So it's what matters. How is living together Ben and do we have any advice from moving in with a partner? So it's been good. It's hard to say we totally live together because I do not have very much of my stuff here. This is very much, I believe, this is still a Christmas apartment. I think it's ours. I'm sorry, I can't say that.

I feel that way at all. I don't, I've never lived somewhere I didn't have a fishing pole. I mean, I don't have a fishing pole here. I could, sure, but I'm saying I have never lived somewhere. I didn't have a fishing pole. I mean, I don't have a fishing pole here. I could sure But I'm saying I have a set of golf clubs. I've got Shoes clothes and my dog sometimes. That's that's yeah, but Anyway, when we're here, it's been great for the most part. It's been great Everything you know nothing comes without a couple speed bumps, but it's been great

I need advice for moving in with the partner I think I go back to like when you kind of the buying the house together. It's different obviously, but I think it's just sharing responsibilities. That's the biggest thing. I think make sure you know ahead of time because I've been in this boat, not with Luke,

but in this boat with a past relationship where things weren't divided up by any means and it ended up creating a lot of resentment. So I think getting the tough stuff out of the way, like money shit is really important and chores too. And things like that. And if it takes, if you have that kind of communication and those are your personalities

where you can just do that by talking about it great, if you can't, I think write stuff down. Like this is what has to happen every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Like the sheet's need to be changed or like someone does the dishes or you share those responsibilities, whatever works for you. I think that's the most important. So you don't fight about it later. My quick advice is pull your weight and communicate. Put the extra effort into communicate. If you don't feel like the other person is pulling their weight, bring it up. Don't let it faster until the point of you exploding.

Did you mean to rhyme? Yeah. You're a poet and you didn't know it. For sure. You know, I was rapping there, actually. Don't leave me for that terrible joke. Okay. Do we know what our attachment styles are?

So we did not, but we did take a quiz, a very quick five minute quiz. True. So now we are aware. But do you agree with your attachment style from your five-minute quiz? I guess. I mean, I don't know. I answered honestly. Yeah, you did. I thought you'd be like more of the quote unquote secure, but anyway, I was being just one and that sounds about right. And mine is... I forget what you said. I was like avoidant something else, something about... Which I don't totally agree with, but that's what the five minute quiz said.

Yeah, basically what I read, I don't know exactly what the words were, but to me it said, you're the one that runs and I'm like, I have been the one that runs in the past, so that makes sense to me. Yeah, you're right. Because yeah, I don't see that now, but you know you better, you know. Yeah. Anyway, which one of us likes Greta Van Fleet? Both of us. We both do. They're a great band.

Amazing, brilliant. If you don't know them, you should listen. They're like a little baby-led Zeppelin. They're from Michigan and they're young and awesome. Yeah. So babe, what we have Ariana on the podcast? Once again, Ariana Maddox, calling Ariana Maddox. Yes, we will. There's more that goes into that as far as like who's allowed to do what because of filming schedules and not giving things away. Right, and Ariana is so busy right now. She's a lunch. She's a lunch. She's a lunch. Actually, she did

just finish dancing with the stars. Hella Varan. Congrats on everything. It was awesome to see you up there and dance to You in person. It was so awesome. Very proud. Arianna. Now she's about to be a rocksy heart on Broadway. So, Ari, we love you and we're really proud of you. And then we had a question that's I'm getting into a long distance relationship. I need all the tips and tricks. So we've kind of touched on this a ton, but this is where I'd really I was thinking about it. I'd really like Arianna to come weigh in because Arianna's boyfriend lives in New York and they're doing the long distance relationship and I think it'd be fun to talk about. Yeah, that would actually be a lot of fun to have her in, Dan on here.

Yeah, we should be different than us, but like still the same. We should try to make that happen. Do you think that ones were married with kids when we moved to Colorado or to Michigan and I'll add in, or Indiana, one day? And I'll just say I don't know where the hell we're gonna move, but we will not raise a family in Los Angeles. Correct. I would say most likely Colorado and Michigan are off the table. Because, well, when we've talked about

if we went to the Midwest and we were to split the distance between our families, we'd be in Indiana somewhere and Kristen hates the cold, so I don't know why we'd go further north. So I think Michigan and Colorado are off the table. Yeah, I have no desire to move back to Michigan. Love y'all, but not for me. I think there's a little, a small chance of Indiana,

there's a chance of Tennessee, there's a chance, I guess, for Florida sort of. Yeah. We don't know yet. But yes, we will move somewhere. We will move away from California at some point, yes. Yes. What has been the single most useful mantra in your growth?

I have two there like quotes, but one is a Maya Angelou quote that is very helpful. I don't necessarily always abide by it, but it is even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. And I try to remind myself that because I cannot help myself but to speak everything that I'm feeling all the time and it can be very draining on other people. If I'm essentially racketing or complaining about, you know, whether it's physical pain emotional or mental or whatever it is. So it's something that I'd have to remind myself of daily. I'm very aware of it but not necessarily great at it. And then when I read the other day that was be yourself so that the people looking for you

can find you. That's a cool one. I really, really like that. And I wish I had heard that 10 years ago. I'm not great at keeping, I guess, single mantra. But if you want to know what I hear in my head, when I'm trying to keep myself on track. I really want to keep myself on track.

Typically, when I'm talking to myself in my head, not typically out loud, but this dialogue, the devil in angel, my shoulders, my brain, talking back and forth. Pretty much the overwhelming one says, focus bitch, you're better than this. I love these like focus bitch, you're better than this. It's like very rhyming of you.

It's a very easy to remember. Yeah, totally intentional again, 100%. So this is a question I'm going to answer and you're welcome to where you don't have to. And it's why do we think that men are afraid or just don't speak up on feminist issues? So I'm going to answer simply as I think in today's culture, people are afraid to speak up on a lot of things.

I think that it used to be a lot easier. And I think now, I'll say I'm very opinionated on a whole lot of things and I'm terrified. All right, here's my opinion on the comment on it. Is that do you think that your pressure should make someone speak up or do you think someone should speak up about what they're passionate about?

And they're not passionate about it. Do you think that you pressuring them or whatever group of people pressuring someone to speak up means it will make it mean more or you're just trying to inf- or just like pressure them because they're platform. You know, you want people to speak up about what they're passionate about, right? The people that do, they do. So the people that don't speak up, maybe they aren't that passionate about it. There are absolutely some aspects of feminism that I am on board with.

There are some that I'm not. I'm not gonna hop up and say I support something that I'm not totally passionate about. I love that. So that's it. That's it. That's what fucking fantastic, dude. And last question, what are we doing for the Hala days?

We're figuring that out right now. I know what I'm doing. Kristen is the one that has these commitment issues to. I do. I do. It's like the only commitment issue these commitment issues to be right. I do. I do. It's like the only commitment issue I have is with like major plans and track because I just feel like I have this anxiety. Part of my anxiety is I don't know what the right decision is or what the right choice is.

If it were a choice, I'd choose what I want to do actually. I make everything, I make things a decision a lot of the time. So what I don't understand, what's right and wrong, like you should do, should weigh some pros and cons of some things, but it's ultimately what you wanna do and how much that's worth. Like do you shorten the trip to have less time boarding at all? I don't wanna get shit from my family

for not going to Michigan. Well, you know. But this year, I just don't think I can make it happen. I don't think we I can do four Christmas this year four five six creases and it's not wanting to hurt other people's feelings even though I don't want to do it right and I think we're going to Indiana. Yeah, I think I'm going to Indiana with you. I know that's where you're going. Okay. Yeah, I don't Other thing is I don't think anyone in my family or your family is traveling 2,000 miles to see family for Christmas and then being expected to drive for five hours

to see their significant others family. So traveling is expensive and it is stressful. It's expensive, it's stressful, it's a lot. I think we need to alternate families. I think that's the only way we can get any enjoyment out of Christmas, aside from a moment here or there where the majority of the time is like, damn damn this sucks. That's a very good point So we want to enjoy our time with our family. Yeah, so if it doesn't happen every year

Then it is what it is. We can't can't try to force it. I agree Happy holidays We love you guys and we're very excited to talk to you next week. Yeah, thanks for listening everyone. Bye. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Dodie and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke Double Under Score Broadred. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date

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