Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - ‘First Rounds on Me’

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

Episode 81. This week’s episode is a crossover where “First Rounds on Me” meets “Sex, Love, and What Else Matters.” Kristen and Luke are joined by Joe Feminella, Founder & CEO of the First Rounds on Me (FROME) dating app, and Hannah Glasby, First Lady of FROME. The First Round’s on Me Dating App is for people who want to date intentionally and actually meet in person for a real date. The app helps streamline the process of planning a first date and focuses on purposeful connections instead of mindless swiping! In this episode, they also discuss the intricacies of love, life, the discovery of dating truths and the many experiences that shape our existence + so much more. Sponsors: Get 15% off with the code DOUTE at Oneskin.co New customers get $5 off Lume’s Starter Pack with our exclusive code and link. And for a limited time, returning customers can get $5 off their next purchase of $30 or more, too! Use code DOUTE at LumeDeodorant.com.  Go to Addyi.com and use code DOUTE for a $10 telemedicine appointment Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Email us: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So you think you know sports? Points vet is the sports book for you, because we've got the features for true competitors, like live, same game parlays. Use your sports marts to make picks live on the players and teams you're watching, and qualified vets can use our early cash out feature, so you could take your winnings to play live blackjack

on the same points vet app, the platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do. Bet on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino. I love Cross Over Podcasts and I love even more becoming new best friends with another really rad couple. So that's what we have for you this week guys.

Welcome to another episode of Sex Love and What else Matters. Joe and Hannah are the cutest married couple. They tell it like it is. They host a podcast together and they've launched a dating app called First Rounds on Me. So without further ado. Really exciting episode this week because it's kind of like a little crossover between the two podcasts. Yes. But for Allison's I suppose if you've been living under a rock, unless you've been living under a rock should I say, you know this beautiful woman here,

and this is her boyfriend Luke Brodrick. Thank you guys so much for being here. Thank you. I really appreciate it. Thanks for doing this. This is exciting. So Hannah told me that you, so she fills me on, she preps me for the podcast on over here. So she told me that you guys actually met as friends doing a podcast together.

So we, and I may have ruined one of your questions. Yes. We were not dating when we started our podcast. She was in denial. I wouldn't even know. We were getting out of this. She was not owning it yet. What, but you knew?

You knew that you loved it? Oh, I had it start. So how did you meet to come up with a concept of a podcast? We met at a wedding. This was June of last year. June of 2022. OK, right. Yeah, so we met at a wedding, both my best friend and his best friend live on the same area

at the ranch in Colorado that he lives. And we both stood up in the wedding. I was very, very newly single, like as like a less than two weeks. Oh, wow. Whatever. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I said like a week, instead of a week or two, it's something. I don't know, it's so long ago, baby.

I don't even remember that life. Nothing before you, nothing. Yeah, and we just set up in a wedding together and kind of the rest was history. Like we became long distance besties. We had sex the first night we hung out. And then we just talked on the phone every single day for months and months., no, and visited a lot and so then we we started working on this podcast

Months before the text. Yes. Yes. See you on friends. Well I mean you can ask her all these questions. I knew where this was going but so I don't I say this we this, we were working on the podcast for months beforehand. And Kristen has his perfectionist about, thing about her, everything has to be perfect. And I told her that if we're not embarrassed

by our first month of our podcast, we launch too late. Like we got to get this thing out, we got to get going. And a year from now we're going to look back and be like cringing over it, but we will have the platform. So we got to do it. I came out on Halloween last year and said, I'm not leaving until we release this podcast, thinking it was going to be like two weeks. It was a month. Five weeks later. Yeah. We released the podcasts and here we are.

But now, what was your background that you wanted to do podcast? You know, I didn't actually want to do a podcast prior to me in Kristen, but she had been talking about it and all the people I met through Kristen said she's been talking about this for years. She just needs a little push. I have an entrepreneurial background and I'm like, have the the push to get it out there. And it's just all about our time. I love it.

They're already and I was like, look, we can do this together. We can build this. And also at the time that we met, she and I were both rebuilding is coming out of the the pandemic and she neither her or I had much going on. My business had the market had basically totally crashed in my business so I had laid off my employees. It was just me left and trying to figure out what the next thing is. She was in between shows. Yeah, in between her. And stuff. Her work.

So I said, you know, we can build something awesome together. I was just trying... I knew that I wanted to do a podcast about everything that I love talking about, which are relationships and dating and sex and love, and I'm really fascinated by the juxtaposition of like the male and female brain behind dating. And when Luke and I, although we'd slept together, we were definitely romantic in a way.

Like, this wasn't my boyfriend. He lives in Colorado. I live in California. But I knew I wanted a male co-host. I didn't know who it was going to be. And I had like another friend, a couple of front guy friends, platonic friends that we were recording things for fun just to see like how it would go.

Who and Luke and I just started talking on the phone every day for hours and hours at a time. And he wasn't shy about like going deep diving into his past and we tell me about your ex girlfriends and tell me about this. And like, did you think she was crazy? What were your downfalls? And he was so willing to just spill it all.

I thought that was just perfect. Was that like an indication for both like personal and professional, obviously? That this was the top person that you wanted. Yeah, there was no judgment. There was no judgment from either side about talking about our past. Now, obviously, cut to a year later. Neither of us really, you know, I'm fine still

like talking about his exes or past things because we've gone there. But at the same time, I'm like, maybe I don't want to know everything. I'm glad we did that like a long time ago. Isn't it so funny, though, is the fact that at the start of a relationship, we're sure many people add they can kind of attest to this. It's like the start of the relationship, if you are that type of person to be super open. You can share all that, but the closer and closer

you get to somebody, I feel like now, I'm like, don't even fucking talk to me about anyone that you've ever dated. But when we first started dating, I was like, same as you, tell me everything. That divulged that information to me. It's so interesting. So curious.

So curious. But it's like the more and more you're like closer and the more and more you love somebody, the less and less you would hear about. I think it's the movie game. It's like, well, what makes you you? Tell me about your past and things. The trauma, the happy, the sad, the exciting.

Makes up you. Yeah. And yeah, now I'm like, you're, you're mine. That's what makes you. No, just kidding. But it's interesting because I had another male co-host who was my friend. And it was great, but he left. And then I was like, because I had another male co-host who was my friend and it was great, but he left and then I was like, you want to be the co-host.

And our energy and our dynamic was so much better because to my wife. So like what you're saying, we could disagree easier. And I want to talk, and I too want to talk about like, because you guys just got married this year. Yes, I do. Yeah, not just this year. I mean, like, you're married. You're freaking married. Yes, I do. Not just this year. I mean, like, you're married.

You're freaking married. I'm so excited. And it truly is. I think sometimes people are dating. And you met on a dating app. How we met on a dating app? I think because it's been such a whirlwind of the year that sometimes, perhaps we start to forget

the snow the roses a little bit, just in terms of the fact that we are married. But yeah, we met on a dating app, which is for a wild. It's for a wild. And because we're doing a joint podcast, I want to, I will explain this. No, Chris and take over.

But I just want to kind of tell our listeners, you know, while you guys are actually sitting here, because I first found out about From, from a good friend of mine, Gabby Conti, she's like the comic extraordinaire. She took me under her wing many, many moons ago and helped teach me how to write comedy, how to do sketch comedy.

Definitely not, I'm not stand up. Like that is so hard and terrifying. But Gabby just could not speak more highly about you and about you guys and the app and the podcast. So like first rounds on me, I thought it was so cool because I have two. I've met an ex boyfriend who was wonderful. I have nothing bad to say about him. We met on Bumble. We met on a dating app.

You could plug Bumble. No, not dating up. So I would say I don't like to talk badly or against other apps so you could plug Bumble. I don't like that. So that's where we had this room for everybody on the block. That's true. And at the time when I had met him, this is like a million years ago,

that app was only like two, three months old. And I had never been on a dating app in my life. I was terrified of going on a dating app because I was on Vanderpump rules. It was airing at the time. And I kept thinking, if someone's gonna swipe for me, they really want to be on reality TV, are there never ever gonna do it,

and I'm screwed either way, so what do I do? So I did meet this guy in Bumble, it was the only person I ever gave my phone number two, the only person I dated, and like on Bumble. So that was cool for me, but I'm just, I wanna like hear more about Y'all's story, like how many years ago, how long did you date before you got married?

Oh, I dated for like what at least 10 years. No, it means. Oh damn. Just dated for 10 years, totally. I mean, I was like, I'm dating since I was 13. Did you get all that? I was already out of 40. Oh man, that's amazing.

All these bleachers like seabing through my fucking sweat, we dated for, before we got married, we dated for two and a half years. So we met November 1st, 2020 The pandemic really after Halloween and it was a Sunday because I remember football was on and I chose to go on the date instead of watching something I football which big for me. He was anybody that knows him in general would decide that that is an attestment to the Who's your team? She knows this. It's more about who I'm betting on. I grew up with Jets fan and. Okay. But to be fair, I tell everyone Sundays are my football day.

You do. Don't make plans with me on a Sunday. We've on it over football. He wishes that I had that mentality. Literally, he's eyes light up. He's like, oh my God, please. Please Hannah, every day, every week, like every weekend. But to be fair, my friend started asking her to name cities and teams in football, and she got everyone right. So I'm rubbing off on her.

I'm assuming some kind of information. Big turn on. You're not. But yeah, we met in a dating app, and we, we, a poor editor, Joey has heard this story so many times, but it came about in a way that like, fest friends of me actually works, but very accidentally. Well, not accidentally, because I, so to give you guys more context, I was building Fest Rounds on me in 2020,

but I used hinge still, because that's how I like to meet people. Yeah. And I really, I really like to go on first dates, because I really like to get to know people. Yeah. And if something happens from that, it's great, but I still just like to understand why people are the way they are. And it was like fascinating to me. So I was really excited.

So we're really all the same. Yeah, psychology of life. Yeah, I just love the psychology of people. So, but I used to change the way that I knew I was building my apps. So whenever I saw, like, I would always connect with people and I was like, okay, I'm connected with them, but I'm never gonna meet them.

And I would, you know, know that internally. But when I connected with somebody that I really wanted to meet, I would say, them, but I'm never gonna meet them. And I would, you know, know that internally. But when I connected with somebody that I really wanted to meet, I would say, hey, like I really think you're interesting, you're really beautiful. But if we're gonna like do something here, we're gonna meet Asa. Immediately. Immediately.

And she was like, great, I'm free tonight. And I was like, okay, this is how Fresh Rounds on Me works. It's cool. Yeah. And we did it, and now we're here. No, I wouldn't agree more than that type when my friend Gabby and then obviously you just like first explained first runs on me to me.

What I love about it is the short period of times I was on the dating app years and years ago, but then also right around like the time I met Luke but we weren't dating like we had just met. I jumped on Hinge for a minute. I was just curious. And honestly, I had COVID and I was bored. I was bored at home.

Got on the house and I'm like, I'll just chat with people for a minute, but I did want to meet a couple of people. Didn't know. I really didn't have the intention of like dating someone. I'm more so wanted to meet someone, but I hated the idea of having a penpal. I do not want to be your penpal on an app. I'm good enough friends.

Yeah, truly and utterly. And I don't mean that in a nasty way, but I'm good enough friends. The reason that we're on dating apps is to be able to go on dates. Yes. The holidays are here, which is perfect timing for today's sponsor, One Skin.

With One Skin's revolutionary approach to tackling aging at the source, you can wrap up 2023 with the gift of radiant and healthy skin for yourself or your loved ones. What makes One Skin the best? Their products are powered by a ground-breaking peptide, OS1, which will prevent the primary culprit behind skin aging. The Real Magic, OS1, has actually been proven in the lab to reduce the biological age of skin by several years, meaning it not only prevents but slows down skin aging, leaving you with healthier, more hydrated and glowing skin.

One skin just launched their mini bundles, which include face and eye-topical supplement, body lotion, and cleanser, which all come in a cute travel bag. If you're traveling this winter, one skin has your mini skincare essentials covered, and if you're gifting this holiday season, one skin's mini bundles are the perfect stocking stuffer. For a limited time, our listeners can enjoy an exclusive 15% off one Skin products using the Codody when you check out at oneskin.co. I have to say, guys, I love the mini bundle.

It is the perfect mixture of all of my favorite products and the best gift to give. One Skin is the world's first skin longevity company. One Skin addresses skin health at the molecular level, targeting the root causes of aging so skin feels and appears younger. It's time to get started with your new face I am body routine at a discounted rate today. New customers get 15% off with the code Dodie at 1skin.co. That's 15% off 1skin.co with code Dodie. Theer is approaching, now is the best time to invest in your skin. Age healthy with one skin. As a gift, deodorant historically ranks somewhere between novelty underwear and coal.

Until Lumi that is, Lumi is on the top of the most wish-for-list on Amazon personal care products. Lumi is a game-changing whole-body deodorant designed by an OBGYN to work not on only pits, but also feed, privates, and everywhere else we get odor. No matter where you use it, loomies clinically proven to block odor all day long, and all thanks to its one-of-a-kind pH-optimized formula. They've got over 275,000 5 star reviews to show for it. So really, giving loomies isn't really giving deodorant. It's giving a product that'll blow whatever they're using out of the water.

For confidence, they'll feel from head to toe, or pits to toe, really. Special offer, new customers get $5 off Lumin starter pack with our exclusive code and link. Use code Dodie at luminidiodorant.com. L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T dot com. Unlike some deodorants, they try to mask odor with fragrance. Luminous formulated and powered to stop odor before it starts. More like a pre-odorant. It's baking soda-free and paraben-free pH balance

for safe use below the belt and clinically proven to control odor better than a shower with soap alone. 12 hours after a shower, the average person has an odor level of 6 out of 10 guys with Lumi, the average odor level is a 0 out of 10. Lumi has all of the products to help with BO. Wipes, deodorant, washes, soaps, and even laundry?

Recently, I've been wearing the toasted coconut deodorant and I can't stop. Occasionally, I'll switch things up and I'll use them into cucumber, but these cents are delicious and truly last. Lumie's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid, stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice,

like the mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Loomy starter pack with code Dodie at LoomyDeodorant.com. That equates to over 40% off your starter pack when you visit LoomyDeodorant.com and use code Dodie. I think one of the reasons, not only because he was handsome, but one of the reasons why I was so intrigued by him, because he said that. He was like, if we sit here and talk back and forth, we're not going to go on it basically.

Yeah. And I was like, the amount of conversations I already have going in my hinge for weeks, months, that was so refreshing to me. And then the more we talk to people about it, whether they're single or they're like relationships, I mean like fuck, I wish that was around. Oh, when I was in a relationship. No, it was different. I think you're really helping a man out here. I mean, to be honest with you,

there's so many men I feel like they get cold feet and I'll speak for my experience. As far as choosing a time, a place, and like making something happen quick, it's not always easy for a lot of guys to suggest it. And typically, I'm not saying exclusively, but typically, women would like a man to suggest that.

Right. And so, this designing an app to like, remove that, like, you know, anticipation or that overthinking aspect of it from the guy's brain is genius. Well, it's funny you said, because so, I guess this could be good or bad, but I lived in the city, so I was going on all these dates, and women were saying, I hate dating apps, and I was like, yeah, I fucking hate these dating apps too. And then I was like, you know what,

let me just start asking all the women what they don't like about them. And it's like making a list. And I was like, I'm gonna build my own thing. But I was like, what do I like? And I was like, and I told them, what's the number one thing you, you dislike, that's trying to do off about dating apps?

And they're like, a guy is not what to do. And I was like, okay, yeah, as a guy, I don't know what to do all the time. Because like, and it's interesting because some woman brought this up where she's like, when you set up a date, where do you pick the location? Do you pick it closer to the woman or closer to you?

And something I've never thought of. But I really thought about this. I really thought about this. I thought about it all the time. It all goes through there. I don't want to mess this up. But I really thought about this. I really thought about this. I don't want to mess this up. But I really thought about this yesterday, actually,

because I just saw it. And the woman was like, oh, it's better if the guy picks a place closer to the woman because it's more shivers. And then I thought, from my perspective, but what if, because you probably also want him to pick the place to be shivers, right? You want him to go closer to you and pick the place. But if you go from A to Z, don't do it halfway. You're gonna do it well. But if you do both, but if you do both, it could backfire because if you're gonna go out with Kristen and she wants you to pick the spot, you know the spots closer where

you'll have better. You know how the night's gonna turn out. You probably know the local bartenders. So if you pick a spot, you know that's essentially better. If you could pick a spot closer to her, it's a essentially better. If you could pick a spot close to her, it's a crap shoot. And you guys go on the aim to go, oh, this place is all right, but why'd you pick this place? Or you could pick a place that she just doesn't like. Exactly. Only have bad experiences here on the white rock right there. So it's like, we can't win. The fuck is wrong? So it's like, do you want us to pick the spot close to you? Or do you want us to pick a spot that we think is good?

Right. And it's interesting. So this is the male overthinking that goes on just trying to get on to a date. Why don't we do something that hadn't thought of how like difficult that could be? Because I'd only been on the second time around when I did get on hinge.

I only went on two first dates, essentially. That was kind of it. And the first one, he was hell bent on me choosing the spot, but he wanted tequila and he wanted Mexican food. I'm vegetarian and I'm going, I don't know, I eat the same shit everywhere. I go in the valley, like, what does it even matter to me? So I'm then asking friends 40 million times over, where do we choose? Where do we choose? I don't know. I don't care.

I eat a couple sides and I'm good. Like how do I do this to try to like cut out that pressure on me almost? But I really didn't think about the overthinking about it. I mean, I'm like, let's just meet up somewhere and then we'll go somewhere else maybe and yeah until we find, there's pressure on us to find the right spot. I'm pretty much like, if we can have a conversation, we're just getting work in it.

If I can hear you, then I'm like, yeah. And we're in a public area where I'm like, not in a society park or going back to your home, then I'm telling the phone. But to your point, I think it's a bit of a PSA for women, that there is the fact that we don't account for

the level of overthinking or the level of planning that goes into a first, second or third day. Yes. Because here's the thing, like the men and not to, you know, what was us men, but it's all poor men. But it's like we're being judged on that first date. Like we have to make the experience best for you. So how do we do that?

Like we have to pick the spot, we have to pick the location. There's a lot of obstacles. Wait, Kristen, the girl goes to the bathroom, where are you at? How is it? It's awesome. Wait, so do you think that a man or a female is judged more on a first date?

Me? I don't. Everybody is. I think you can, it's just different. It's very different ways because I believe the man is typically expected to have a plan together to make it easier to get there. But a woman knows she's going to be judged on how she looks, on how she speaks, on these other things. I think it goes both ways, but the man's anxiety is just like, I have to have this thing

planned before we even get to the next step. Yeah. That's why you like Professor Anthony's effect that it kind of like takes away a little bit of that stress and everything. It just like cuts that out. It's like boom, we're going. Yeah, because I love what Fester and Tommy and I have recommended this to many single friends of mine already because there's no wait list.

So it's so fun to say that. I don't want to wait. So these questions, the one thing I hate, especially is entrepreneur, and for you to do as well as unsolicited feedback, I fucking hate it. So I had a friend, and the opinions are like assholes,

everyone's got to know that. Yeah, so especially in LA, I have some friends who like, we love your app, but there's like one problem. I was like, okay, is it a technical problem? I'm really excited to have this problem. And they were like, you need better looking people on it.

And I was like, I was like, okay, first of all, you're in LA. So you're catering to the 0.001% of the population. Yeah, I'm assaulted by it. And I was like, it's not mean better looking people. Like, to whose perspective? So, and I was like, if you want an app like that, you could go inside and Tariya. Yeah., you could go and sign up to Raya. Yeah.

And you can try and get on to Raya, you could see all these fans, people, not talk to them, not connect with them, and then be like, Raya's not. People that don't even live in your country, perhaps. That's true. So there's room for everything on the market, if that's what you said, if that's what you're looking at.

That's maybe the different strokes for different folks. Not everyone is into what that's like. You are the best. But I'm saying, like not everyone wants a look. Maybe people want like a big mussely little guy like that's not my type. I would never swipe for someone with a big, like when they don't have a neck. Yeah. I was like, okay. But it is interesting, right? Because like, yeah, we're trying to create a community where the physical appearance should not be

what is dictating who you meet. So I'll be the primary, should not be like the main factor. Yeah, obviously you're gonna be attracted to somebody. Like you should be attracted to the person. Exactly. But like, you hear so many people say, I'm married to so and so,

but normally they're not my type. But I met them and our energy and our connection was so deep and that's the kind of community that we're trying to build. It's not like, oh, you have the best profile. You're so hot, I can't really do anything like that. It's not going to get you anywhere. The only way to be able to do that

is to actually be able to go out and date and see how that energy is between you. Because if you sit there, I think I feel like maybe a bit of a controversial opinion, but the longer you sit on the apps, the more superficial like it. Yes. Because it is this sense of a physical attraction

of what you're viewing on their profiles or looking at their social media's after it. You're building this false sense of who that person is, right? 1 million percent, because a lot of people don't also, or I remember not knowing how to build my profile and what photo do I use? Am I supposed to use like head shots and my Everybody on earth what I think they should do but I know what I should do

We used to do a segment that that you look at your own profile and Would you date this and most people I Look so serious I would never date me. I'll say there's not a chance. Yeah, that's profile. I'm not a swipe-prite. You really do. Did you use any of them?

Oh yeah, when I was single, I've got long stretches of things to go. We assumed you were single. And I was single. At times, at times I was the, quote unquote, collector on Tinder where I wouldn't go on dates, but I'd like wanted more matches, you know what I mean? I always wanted that.

I always wanted that. Everybody. And I never actually got a relationship from a dating app. but I wanted more matches, you know what I mean? I always wanted that. I always wanted that. Everybody. And I never actually got a relationship from a dating app. I had some good dates, had some hookups, but I never had a relationship come out of it. Yeah, and I feel like as men, because when I used them,

I wasn't looking for a relationship either. I felt like it was so much validation for me where it was like, oh my god, I'm getting all these matches, all these women like me. Right. Let me keep this going and not be tied down to one. And then I grew up and I was like, oh, well, this is, all these matches. All these women like me. Right. Let me keep this going and not be tied down to one. And then I grew up and I was like, oh, well, this is, it was fun, but now it's kind of going.

No, then we just met an Australian woman who changed you hot. Yes. You're right. But yeah, I think when people are in that realm, they're not actually looking for the date. And that's why I, like, first round. So maybe, like, for my friend, my single girlfriend,

so we're going, I'm so tired of the bullshit. Like I actually want to meet someone and maybe they're not my future husband and maybe it's not my forever person, but I want to meet someone because also a lot of people getting out of relationships, they're trying to figure out what they want and you don't know that until you're actually sitting down having conversations with someone. To your point, I think that's what's so important as well to keep in mind is like, not every first date is going to be your quote-unquote husband or lifetime partner.

The beauty of dating, and like something we talk about quite often, it's like, I fucking loved going on first date. So it's like, it's like, it's like the beauty of like going as you would back to our like very earliest point, meeting somebody, getting to know them, like what makes them tick who they are, the internet. That's a beautiful part of dating because it not only is like learning something new about somebody else, which is great, but it's also something

that builds your character. Yeah. And so this idea that, like, if you sit on the app, so you sit there typing to someone in a way for weeks, months, on end, it's not really character building. If you're going out and meeting people constantly, you get a new friend, you know you fucking hate somebody.

Or you end up in a relationship, and either any of those things is kind of a beautiful thing. It really is. You learn a lot about yourself, and what you do on and what you don't want as well. This person could look fantastic on paper, aka profile, and then you meet, and nothing, it's just, there's no vibe. The three dates I had before her were so important for me.

Like if I didn't have those three dates with three different women, I probably wouldn't have been emotionally evolved enough to connect with her. Because like, yeah, like, Wait, tell me more about that. Well, I had met somebody and they were so cool. Like they had a great job,

really interesting, but they weren't for me. And normally in the past, like ghost or something would be like, all right, like we want a couple of dates. Like, I'm just... What do you like to call it a soft ghost? Yeah, like a soft ghost. What's a soft ghost? Is that the lead on red? No, it's like... If they reach out casually, like, hey, it's like, okay, you said, hey, I'm not going to respond. If they ask me a question or like, hey, let's go out. You knock me a root, you're going to respond. But. Dear kind goaster. What was a kind goaster?

What? Not as currently. What is a kind goaster? Not a root goaster. A soft kind goaster. But then this person liked me way more than I liked her. And she said, listen, I know that you don't want to see me again, but you should kind of communicate that better

and be more mature. And I was like, okay. And I was like 30 at the time. I was like, did you pride take a little hit right there when she's like, you need should be more mature? It did, but then at first I was like, oh, she's so fucking annoying. I took a sit down and like break up with someone and just melt like, that's okay. But then I was like, she's so fucking annoying. I think I'll sit down and break up with someone

and just melt like that's okay. But then I was like, no, she's right. Why can't I verbalize and communicate my feelings better? I'm just like, hey, it was great to go on a few dates with you, you're so cool, but I don't wanna entertain us anymore because I don't think we're gonna go on. It's not there for me, I know. And when I told that to her, it made her life me more

because I was being mature, but it didn't even feel good. It was like, oh, I'm being mature and I'm communicating how I feel to somebody. It really helps set up my emotional intelligence for Hannah. Yeah, in a way. I was like, true to be told. I think that was definitely, that probably was really beautiful stepping the stone fee,

but I think that like considering, like we, again, we told the story a couple of times and now podcast, but he, we were five dates, six dates maybe. And then, But I wouldn't have done that unless I had that. What can I explain the story and then you could say? Right. He got really scared.

Like he knew that he liked me. He knew that he was, he almost told me that he loves me on our second date, right? Like real, head over the fucking heels. Oh, it took like six months, what are you talking about? But he basically came up to break up with me one day because he was so overwhelmed and he was so like, it was too much, too much emotions,

too many things running through his body with the app, especially it's kind of infancy. He was like, what the fuck am I gonna do? Yeah. And I said, and I was like, you just broke up with me. What's going on here? And I was like, sit down, explain it to me do? Yeah. And I said, and I was like, you just break up with me, what's going on here? And I was like, sit down, explain it to me. Like, talk to me about why you feel this way.

Do you actually feel this way? Or are you just scared? Mm-hmm. Anyway, I think I'm just scared. I'm like, okay, well, if you're just scared, that's fine. Take your time, but know that I'm not going to wait around. Like, I really like you.

I want to be in a relationship with you. I think we could have like a beautiful future. I being married. Yeah. But I'm not the type of person, like, I know what I'm worth, I know what I want in my life, and so you kind of got to figure it out. So I do agree, like I think that was a beautiful stepping, so I think even just over the evolution of our earlier relationship, you really started to understand like the open communication

level of what needed to happen. Sort of progress, but I'm still getting there. You do such a good job, that's. I really like feel that story because that's how I was. I was a lot like you as far as in past relationships when I'd like get these overwhelming feelings. I'd be like, I'm scared of this. I'm not ready to take those next leaps and you know, things in a relationship. I'm like, no, I'm not ready for this and I'd bail.

And then women think because we bail that were not into them, but it's not true. It was more because we were so into them that we're exactly. Exactly. And we're just going to go too fast and yeah. Exactly. See, but I felt that and I knew that like, I knew through the connection that we had the amount of dates that we got on and I was like, you know, you don't want to break up with me.

Like what's going on? Yeah. Like why are you feeling this way? And I feel like again, a good PSA for women out there is a fact that like sometimes you just need to have no offense. Both if you're right. Women are a little bit more emotionally evolved, emotionally intelligent, earlier on than men are, right?

I don't know about Kristen, but... Right. But it's just this sense of like, I feel like we have the opportunity to be able to sit people down and be like, hey, like, obviously, if something's like completely soft, ghosting you or hard ghosting you, whichever way it is, then you know that they're not there. But if they come in to take the time to be like, hey, I just don't know.

Like, what's going on? You can feel that sense of like trepidation. It's worth it having an open conversation. It's been like, why are you doing this? And I think a gentle one as well. Like, ladies giving you the advice out there. It's not to go, so do you like me or you don't? Like what the bottom of you with me are not. I'm worth more than this.

It's a gentle conversation of, I understand you could have things in your past. I don't know what's going on internally for you, but if you're open to telling me about it, I'm here to listen and let's figure it out together. Would you say that I was soft in that conversation? Yeah, and I think, I mean, from what you said earlier, it's like a turn on for us that such a strong woman is putting us on the spot and you're like, I like you, let's talk about it.

And it's like, whoa, okay, you're really mature and really making me talk about my feelings, which I don't like, but it's taking out my comfort zone. And you need that. Yeah, for sure. And that, Chris and didn't push me like that. I pushed her. It was, yeah, it was all.

I'm the one that bring up, I always bring up the hard conversations she doesn't want to have. That's why I said, I don't know. Well, especially with us dating, but it was because he had been single, Luke had been single for so long prior to that. Like dated, dated girls, you didn't have a serious serious girlfriend. I, yeah, I'd had some, you know, a couple of months type relationships that didn't go anywhere.

Yeah. And I was like serial monogamous, me too, monogamous. Yeah, just like jumping. I call it like a relationship gypsy. I'm like out of one in like the next. I didn't like being single. I didn't, I questioned, did I not like being alone, but it was like, I just love connection. So much more than random multiple people. He now- I was a remarkable person. That like the whole like,

dating multiple people at one time couldn't do it. No. Your podcast is about sex and relationships. And I think to that point, I mean, I don't know how you are, but being single, I always thought that I, not other problems actually, be like, it was always a one-night stand. It was always like, hit or miss and I was like, oh, like, maybe I'm just not the best. But then I realized there's a connection aspect to this. And when I met her, I was like, I'm fucking great at this. Where was this guy when I was single? And I was like, I'm fucking graded. Where was this guy when I was single?

And I just realized, no, being intimate, you need a deep connection with somebody to make it the best it could be. And I was like, that's great. I feel like we had so many conversations about the fact that sex was never anything that was purely physical. It was always meant to, there was always this real emotional side to it.

Oh, such a mental piece. Absolutely. Especially for women, but especially for men as well. And I think that's something that's like discounted and not perhaps talked about enough. Yeah. Like, you're, I think your approach to sex before we met was just purely physical. Well, not purely, but like majority physical. And then being able to like, I understand that the stronger our emotional connection

about the better our sex was, you're like, what the fuck's going on here? And I was like, yeah, the more and more we get to know each other, the more and more we know the intense of each other, the better our intimacy is. And not into me, intimacy, just in like sexual realm, but like in our day to day lives, as well, it's beautiful. Oh, it really is.

I mean, 100% yeah, I can be like, well, looks great in bed. Looks great in bed, sure. But it was, and it was great before we were, before I allowed myself to admit that I wasn't loved. But being in love. I was a rebound before anything else because we did hook up the 9 of the wedding.

Right, of course. And she was just a really good, kind of woman. Yeah, this good looking guy. Yeah, he's a great rebound. Of course. But it, but it becomes, it just, to attest to and we were jumping out of one lane. Yeah, this good looking guy. Yeah, it's very bad. Of course. But it becomes, it just to attest to what you were saying, Hannah, it's just, it is so much more when you have like a sole type of connection, whatever you want to call that emotional connection.

If it's not like necessarily your person of all, if you're not married, okay guys, if you're not married, um, Luke and I are not. I mean, that's where we're going to be. But ever since we got to a place where we were actually in a relationship, even though a long distance one, for me, for sure, it's like the sex is better because he's my person. Yeah.

The kissing is better because he's my person. The hand holding is better because it's your person. My favorite thing about Luke ever was just this like, is better because he's my person. And even hand holding is better because it's your person. My favorite thing about Luke ever was just this very casual, he has this, I don't know, I used to call it a tick or a twitch that you had, but it's not. No, I just love fiscal contact. She's driving, I just got my hand on it. Just like a thumb here.

And then with that. And that too. She's like, we're in a king size bed and I'm like, on the last two feet. No, I'm gonna have a foot. I'm gonna have a toe touch. Yeah, I'm like, it's not much like a fly. I'm gonna sleep, though.

She's like, like this. I have to have a finger on you. Yeah, well, and then, though the night she'll roll over and I'll try to take covers back and she's like, why are you on my side? What are you doing? I'm like, it's because you started on my half of that. You took all the covers with you back to yourself.

That's amazing. I definitely don't. Oh, I had to. Don't worry about the hour, too, because it's going probably. So I know you're talking some time. No, I was. All of the other podcasts I mean, I'm being thinking about. Wait, so is your love language physical touch you today?

Ah, it's part of it. Yeah. I like being physical. Yeah. But I'll go on. You said that when the glintes are. Yeah. I think that's mostly what yours is. Like what you prefer to receive.

I think physical touch. Well, Ella, I don't want to answer for you. But I think you're also very quality time. Addy. Ladies, did you know that one of the most common complaints from women about their sexual health is at frustrating low libido? Our sex drives can decline, but it's also treatable.

Adi, or flubansurin, is FDA approved and has been clinically proven to increase sexual desire in certain pre-menopausal women who are bothered by a low libido. So if you feel like you've lost your desire and want to get it back, stop falling for the snake oils and ask your doctor about Adi today. Or go to Adi today. Adi is for pre-medipuzzle women with acquired generalized type of active sexual desire disorder, HSDD, who have not had problems with low sexual desire in the past, who have low sexual desire no matter the type of sexual activity, the situation, or the sexual partner. The low sexual desire is troubling to them and is not due to a medical or mental health problem, problems in the relationship, or a medicine or other drug use.

Adi is not for use in men or to enhance sexual performance. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is increased if you drink 1-2 standard alcoholic drinks close in time to your Adi dose. Wait at least 2 hours after drinking before taking Adi at bedtime. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is also increased if you take certain prescriptions. Over the counter or herbal medications or have liver problems. Low blood pressure and fainting can happen when you take Adi even if you don't drink alcohol or take other medicines. Do not take if you are allergic to any of the ingredients in Adi.

Allergic reactions may include hypes, itching or trouble breathing. Sleepiness sometimes serious can occur. Common side effects include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep and dry mouth. See full PI and medication guide, including box warning at Adi.com for its PI. Or call 844 pink pill go to adi.com and use code Dodie for a ten dollar telemedicine appointment

to find out if adi is right for you. Yeah, I'm definitely not like receiving gifts. That's not something that like that's my one of my giving. Chris and loves to give gifts and I literally on and off and I'd tell her like stop buying me stuff Please, please stop buying me stuff

I'm like I thought of you today and I also I'm giving you as one of the kind of love languages clearly. Yeah, but I also am not like a receiver I am very uncomfortable sure yeah Absolutely and that's where like our communication sometimes I'm just like babe I know this is what you want to do But if you're looking for like this awesome reaction from me, it's not going to come when you give me something every week. Even if it's like, you know, you bought my favorite gummy bears, if you're your favorite gummy bears, but you're acting like you're giving it to me so you can eat them.

Yeah, the best kind of gift to give. You're really getting that. But that's, yeah, that's, you know, you know, you know me well enough to know that's not what I'm looking for. Yes. Wait, I want to go back to this, because I love asking pretty much all of I guess this question, but I find it so fascinating, especially considering that you've both been on dating apps,

albeit a little bit smaller, considering what you've done, how you've done it. But if you could create one dating app feature, what would it be in why? Oh, wow. No, Todd. Luke, you've been on it more often than I have. I'm trying to think, I've only been on the two apps in the first one, not really very often, at all.

The second one, I was on a little bit. I will say the thing I liked about that second app I was on were the questions, although not everyone answers them the same way. Some people are, you know, the prompts. Yeah, like the prompts, some like your profile. The only thing, I don't know. I think the one thing I'll say that I struggled with

was my opening line to someone. I'll bumble, you had to do that, right? So yeah, and so mine, my big opening line was, hey, what's up? And I have to say that's horrible. I mean, it worked for the last time. The last time, it's like, oh, really? Nothing is worse, maybe just nothing. Nothing was, it was an original answer.

So hey, what's up? Because I would just struggle. And so many of my girlfriends would be like, OK, well, I copy and paste. Who would you have dinner with, dad or a lot of them? Like, I'm not asking that to a random stranger. It's not gonna tell me anything about them

and they're gonna come up with some crazy answer that probably is nothing to do with how they are. So I would just say, hey, what's up? And then just really hope the person I was messaging was witty enough to give me something back. So yeah, I feel like I had an app because I'm Australian. I could be like,

it's what you're saying. I could say, Gide, and it would be interesting enough for people to be like, oh my God, how endearing an Australian. But also the equivalent of, hey, in Australia. So maybe your heart crumbles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a different kind of deal. Maybe it's like help with the crunch. I had no, I had no path to ask someone.

I'm like, I'm like, I'm gonna open this. I'm gonna open it. Yeah, I'm gonna open it. I have a buddy who can be really, I have a buddy who can be really, I have a buddy who can get in trouble. I'm gonna open it every time. I have a buddy who can be really a different person than every single person. And whoever received it the best, you would just pursue that conversation. Perfect.

That works. What was the way that you two would talk to someone? Like, what was the first thing? Well, do you wanna answer your question first? Yeah, do that. So I think that regular messaging should be capped. I know it's kinda of like what your app where you initiate.

You like the cat of that. You want to get out of it quickly. Like if there was an endpoint, like, oh, you've maximized, like you're used to run out of characters on Twitter, you know. Right, yeah. Like you run out to where a phone calls the only option now. Yeah. You can do a call through the app or something like that

would be cool to be like, if we're going to communicate anymore, it's no longer through text. Exactly, yeah, that's what we tried to do. But yeah, that's essentially that idea. Yeah. Yeah. You've got the same idea, but I thought of that before. I've been like, man, if these could just like stop this bullshit text back and forth, like make us get on the phone or, you know, I don't know, or meet in person, right? It's just best case scenario, which is why I don't think I had all that much success in apps, because I'm the guy that had the fish picture.

I'm just, oh yeah, I'm the fish picture. I'm the guy that had that fish picture. And my sister even said that. I'm the guy that had the fish picture. I wouldn't have thought like you said that. And there's no way, no, if I wouldn't have swiped for you, I don't think. That's what I said. But then meeting you in person, it's like, but again, a testament, a testament, sorry,

to the fact that like, you see somebody on the dating profile and like, but again, a testament, a testament, sorry, to the fact that like, you see somebody under dating profile and like, he had gorgeous dating profile, but like if I had read like a bio about him, perhaps I wouldn't have been. But my dating profile wasn't me. That's true. I had like modeling pictures and I'm not a model. Like, see, thanks.

Did you do the eye? No, no. No, so my roommate was a photographer. Oh, okay. And I was like in LA for three months, and I was like, oh, let me be like the LA people. Let roommate was a photographer. Oh, okay. And I was like in LA for three months. And I was like, let me be like the LA people. Let me do a shoot. And we like no shirt, shooting all the stuff.

So I put on my profile. And yeah, she probably thought she was getting this like. I was very happy with what showed up. But I think it's just like, he said a testament to the fact of like, you don't know what you want until you see it in part of you. Right. And so like you could sit there and swipe, left a swipe right,

go on so many days and never actually figure it out until you're in front of your person being like, fuck, the sparks are there. Yeah, exactly. I totally agree with that. In my first dating profile on Bumble, because I didn't know what I was doing, I put this black and white blown out sort of fun headshot.

I wasn't like really a headshot, but it was like kind of a fun photo like a photographer friend took. Right. And apparently I'd put it twice. And that was all I had on the profile. So when I had written, it's like, yeah, I literally I wrote, hey, what's up? And his response was, not much, what's what's with the one like black and white headshot twice or something like that. And it made me laugh so hard. I went back to my profile.

I was humiliated. But to the point of like giggles. So I'm like, all right, that's good. You called me out. This is funny. Great. Now I want to get there. His profile, they, all the photos were like 10 years old except for the last one.

They were all these like modeling and acting photos. And then there was one photo with like a big beard. And I was like, so which one are you? Who are you? But I got very, to be fair, the only reason I even went on that date was because I found out we had mutual friends. And I got to go to, yeah.

So I went. And it was like, okay, my friends know you then great, but again, it's all back to meeting in person. Because how are you going to know? How are you going to know until you actually have faced a face to face? Yeah. And what I love to just to go back to first rounds on me, because obviously I've listened

to the podcast and talked to my girlfriend about it. But what I love to is the safety aspect of it. I love that you guys touch on it and it is important, but like what I want to tell our listeners and yours, it's like, we're also grown ass adults and everyone needs to have their own safety issues in mind and you cannot rely on an app or even find your friends, like to do, you know, find my friends on your own phone, to do that for you, but I love that you have that aspect in mind, like to do, you know, find my friends on your own phone, to do that for you.

But I love that you have that aspect in mind of, like, the location. It's difficult. It's the most difficult thing that I think about a lot because I want people to be safe, especially women. Of course. It's my main goal. But like you said, you're an adult.

So, due to diligence, use the chat box to talk, make sure like you guys are coordinating. You're going to be in a public setting through our ads. But it's funny. I was talking to my mom yesterday and she heard my dad went to this bar in Pennsylvania. And they met these two people and we met new friends. That's great. She then started to tell me that this guy got a parking ticket in 2014. me that this guy got a parking ticket to us on 14 about their kids and I was like, how do you know all the other check I've been googling them one morning. I was like, mom, that is so weird. So when these people tell you these stories for the first time, how are you going to react? You're going to pretend that you don't know or you're going to like, like, it's going to be so awkward. Your mom and I would be best friends.

And she's like, shake, yeah, you're right. If I met, if I had this one, I met your father, I would have never met him because I would have googled him for a while. I'm like, shake, yeah, you're right. If I had this one, I'd make your father, I would have never met him because I would have Googled him for a while, and I'm like, yeah, that's the problem. If you try and be over-safe, over-google, and over-complicated, you're taking away like just being a natural human being. The magic of just having a conversation. Yeah, and I think it's so funny, but again, it's serious that you wanna be safe, but it's funny,

but you could over-do it and you'll just be like, wow, I never do anything over again. Right, but I think that's a beauty But you could over do it and you'll just be like, to be able to do anything. Right, but I think that's a beauty about our app is the fact that, like, beyond, and pretty much any other app, like at least the app knows where you're going. Yes. And how you're doing it. And what is it? Like, is it 15 minutes in an hour and a half?

15 minutes into the day. We texted you. We texted you. We texted you. We texted you. We texted you. It's been like, hey, you're good. You're the friend. Exactly. You're the same friend. You're the same friend.

Are you okay? Yeah. Are you good? Are you saying, do I need to say that, like, I need you right now, you need to fleet, like, I'm just texting your friend, because sometimes when you're like, you know, the day you're like, oh my God.

But I think it goes back to, I think, Chris, you said it pretty simply, which we should probably use as like, you're an adult, like, you tell your friend, I'm going to this bar with this guy, and if you don't hear from me, something's wrong. But also like, I think about this in today's world, and I know there's some crazy people out there.

Of course. Like, and this can be very controversial, but if somebody is a serial killer, someone said you harm to you, I don't think that it's gonna be- In the first five minutes? I just seen minutes. No, I just don't think that they're going to need to like lower you to a bar and then like do their master plan. Like they're they could do whatever they want when they're in society with anybody. Right. And it's just like, I don't think there's a lot of

people out there that are going to be malicious. I understand what you're saying, but the way you went about it was quite funny. I don't know what you're saying, too. I just think at the end of the day, if you're grown adult, you're single, you're choosing to go out on a date, you're going to go meet someone somewhere, whether you did it on this app or you didn't do it on an app, you're still a grown adult who needs to take safety measures into your own hands and you cannot blame or rely on anything to do that for you. But I do think that like first round's on me taking that initiative to like have the location and to send that text is like above and beyond and so amazing and is the reason why people should be doing that. Thank you. You know what I mean? I truly think that because you don't know like

Bumble things all no offense okay all of the other apps don't have that and I think that it's so great and then beyond that yes you could you should have your friends like I have all my friends look now all of them I have a lot of friends locations if my friends do go on dates I say give me your location till the end of the night. Let me know where you go at least I'll always I might have a lot of friends locations. If my friends do go on dates, I say, give me your location till the end of the night. Let me know where you go. At least I'll always, yeah, I know where you are. If I don't hear from you around this time, I'm going to assume you're having a good time, but at least let me know between A and B. I think that's just being an adult.

Yeah, I think it's great. I have friends like that as well. Yeah, of course. I think a lot of women do that. It's like, I think we do the most we possibly came without like infringing on your privacy. It's like, I think we do the most we possibly can without like infringing on your privacy. In real life. Or not letting you be an adult and just like live your life and understand that there are safety risks of just even stepping outside. Little ongoing on a date with somebody,

but I can't to like the fact that when you meet somebody at a bar, you don't fucking know anything about it. I do have a question about from them. Do you do it? Who's the first round on? The person who asks. The person who asks.

Luke, give me some. Yes. I mean, I was hoping and assuming so, but I unfortunately cannot be on the date because fortunately I'm taken. So there's a little wink to the last time. I'm a tamiya's late. There's current and future answers to that.

The current answer is what Luke said. So whoever initiates the date, we hope alleviates the date, we hope alleviates the stress of like who pays for the drink. It's like, well, if you initiated the date, you should pay. But as a guy, I would always pant anyway. So that's my perspective. But as a one, I was like, if I did initiate the date, I would be like, I got this. I said, first round time. I just cool. And now we're going to say first, which is very unskilling of you. said first round time. We were just cool. And now we're going to say first, which is very unscrupulous. Very unscrupulous.

We feel free. We talked about this many times. The fact that in Australia, from my wedding experience, which is anywhere bar in America, if I went up to somebody, I think it was going to be a day, I would pay for the drink. 100%. That's just the way it goes. We hope that that idea-logged ideology. I don't know.

I was really good. So I just hope that then just pay to make the woman feel like, so I value the time having with you. 100% Chris in here has a bit of a problem with picking up tabs all the time. You will not let me pay a number of rooms. And I'll be like, I'll be like going to get the tab that like, it's already covered.

I'm like, do you want like, going to get the tab, like it's already covered. I'm like, David, I'm like, again, sometimes they do. You have to do this all the time. Sometimes they do, but, but, but just as simply, you're like, I'm paying for dinner tonight. It becomes a battle. But I feel like once you're in a seriously better ninja, like you guys are, like now, if you really wants to pay, I'm like, okay, if you really want to pay, like, okay.

I just mean sometimes it's like, they haven't paid in a couple weeks. I'm like, I have trying, but you just. I just want to know. I just want to know. We're not married yet, but I'm just like, you'll get it. I know you're gonna, you're not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere.

I just want to make sure you're fucking good to be able to pay for it. Like as a woman, it makes you feel really fucking good to be able to pay for things sometimes. Like, I was a model for a very long time. I don't know a lot of money. Like, I was there. I knew that I had the funds to be able to pay for it.

And it wasn't, like even the first, what, the first I knew that I had the funds to be able to pay for it. And it wasn't even like the first, what, the first couple of weeks that we were dating you, like, you're not paying for anything. I was like, let me just pay for a fucking coffee, mate. Like, let me just show you the same level of shiver that you're giving me, the same level I care about you back. Right.

And also, like, once you're really in love with somebody that monetary stuff doesn't matter at all. Like, she hasn't been able to work for a year because of visa issues. Right. And I don't care at all. I'm not like't been able to work for a year because of visa issues. And I don't care at all. I'm not like, listen, I contribute this much. You need to contribute. It's like, I don't care.

And like if someone's doing better than a relationship at a certain time, and you guys were actually in love, it doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't. You know what I've actually got a funny story about this. Okay.

So Chris, am I- You look at me with a weird look. It's funny because it's- Is it funny? Ha ha? Yes, because it's technically our first date. We went to the concert at Red Rocks in Denver, right? Nice. And so the wedding that we met at and hooked up, they were going to this concert and talk called me and I'm like, yeah, they're like, well, you just get Chris

in a ticket. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna get Chris in a ticket. No problem. I get it. And we've been texting and talking. I guess I hadn't brought it up. Or maybe this was a point. Maybe she was thinking about soft ghosting me because it was early on. I would never, I had never soft ghosted him. Well, our communication notes like, starting to slip. And then she calls me. She calls me by the driving range. She goes, you are not paying for my tape. And then she's like,

but I got out of the tellroom when you're staying with me. I'm like, in the same breath. I'm like, oh, yeah. To pay for everyone, I got a free hotel room. See how much is a free hotel room. And therefore, we paid for our own tickets because it was like the first, and I was newly singled.

I don't know. Do you feel like if a guy pays for you, that there's something? I own something. Yes. Yeah, a little bit. I feel like a lot of women feel that way. A little bit.

And a lot of men feel the opposite, where it's like if I paid, I expect something from this, which is not a good way to look at it. No, not at all. And it's more of like my past experience with guys I've dated. It's very like personal and specific to me because I really do think everyone should

kind of pull their own way and like give to each other. But just like you said, when you're in an actual like a serious monogamous relationship, I think at that point you're in love and you just kind of do what's best for the relationship. Yeah. Because there are going to be ebbs and flows and ups and downs for both people. I feel like there's not as much pride that's involved or ego, quote unquote, ego that's involved. You should then go to yourself,

or like, I would think the same thing. I'd be like, I don't know if I can earn you anything. I have my own money. I can do what I want, what I want. But, and I would be exactly like, you're not paying for my fucking ticket and I go to a hotel room. Yeah. But is that mentality, as exactly like, you're not paying for my fucking ticket, and I go to a hotel room. Yeah.

But is that mentality, but as Joe said, it's appointingly, like you get into a relationship, you just like everything kind of melts together. And you understand what is best to your point for the relationship as a great whole, or you too isn't as a couple as a couple.

Yeah, like as an entity. It's like what's best for the relationship, especially marriage obviously, which were not yet, but when it's marriage, it's like, it's just a while big married. Like, is a whole nother level of, yeah, so what change? Okay, so you guys dated, two and a half years,

then got engaged. Yeah. How long were you? It's our story's crazy, so easy. It is crazy. This is what I'm fascinated by, so are there rules? Like like once I get the ring, which I don't like.

Well, here's another thing. Okay, so that's super important. I mean, for me, especially, so she was a high fashion model in LA and I was like, okay, typically not to bucket everybody, but I was like, okay, she's probably expecting the finer things in life, which is not so important to me. And when I met her, she like didn't care about, you know, finer things. She didn't want to ring.

She didn't have that in common. So I was like, okay, this is a huge green flag. But because I was like, you I was always single. Like when we first got together, being in a serious relationship with somebody, it was so challenging. Especially being entrepreneur. Because being entrepreneur takes up all your time, and then being in a relationship takes up a lot of time, and energy.

So, like- I try to see your relationship. Yeah, so our first year and a half was very choppy, and we broke up for, we thought good. I was like, listen, we are killing each other, and we are not making each other better. So, in that time, I was like to say, like, we worked on ourselves, which I think people should do more.

And then, I don't know why. I asked around the first day again. I was like, let's go get a coffee. That's because I didn't taste you for your birthday, probably. Yeah, but I don't know. More people with a long story. No, that's unnecessary detail. We landed our first date again, and this was in June. So this was four months now.

It was like in June or something like that. And like in the first five minutes, she was like, I'm moving back to Australia for good. And I was like, wow. So instantly, I didn't even know why. I had no agenda going to this coffee date. I was like, I just want to see how she's doing. I'm like, hopefully she misses me.

But I was like, no, like, you can't go back to Australia. It needs to be with me. I don't know why I said that. It was an instinct. And then we had a great date. And then we were like, why don't we try and see where this goes again? But we both worked on ourselves.

And we kept it super casual and super different. But it was so natural and easy. That after two months, I was like, maybe you should reconsider moving back to Australia. And, you know, and at that point, because we had a history, it was like, well, then we kind of need to like talk about marriage, because I'm going to say America, I'm not just saying America, it'll feel like a point. So we had those conversations and she was still going back to Australia, because she booked her ticket already. And she

did the visa problems. So I was like, I know what I'm going to propose before she goes back so that when she goes back, she doesn't like the last time I wanted was for her to go back to Australia for three months. And be like, well, I don't know if this guy's going to be there when I get back. So like, let me just show level of commitment. So I think two days before she left, we went to New York where I used to live on my rooftop, and I proposed to her, just her and I, like, no photographer, because that's how we are, like,

not flashy. Yep. This is the summer setting, overlooking the New York skylight. It was really beautiful. Yeah, and she said yes. Two days later, she went back to Australia, didn't see her for three months. Then she came back this January. Yeah. And then three months that we got married. Oh, wow. That is so romantic. Look, I'm going back to Michigan.

Great. Let's go. I mean, I'll be with you. I'm going to be with you. I don't even know. Hey, let's go that way. But to your point of 40, you're telling that story. It's like, there is no, I think the thing that we talk about a lot in this podcast

and we preach to people whenever we meet them is no right or wrong, but like we had a weird, we had broken up and been like, that's it. No plans of getting together. And then that first date again, I was like, I forgot to love you, and he's like, I love you, tell us about you. I'm gonna tell you what to do.

Yeah. And then, you know, getting engaged and then leaving each other for three months, being like, you talk about long distance or we were fucking literally, I'm tired of the worship of God. Yeah, that's great. But that in of itself made our relationship stronger.

Of course, there were hard parts and there were difficult moments, but like, I feel like we came out of that period of time so much stronger and then coming back to America in January and then getting married in April. It's like I said, it's like a whirlwind of emotions and occasions, but to people out there,

you just, you never know what's going to happen. So you just got to follow your heart, follow your gut. Obviously, always stay true to what you're worth and how you want to be treated. But never in a million years, but I think when we broke up a year and a half ago, two years ago, that we would end up the way that we were. That we'd end up the way that we were. But now you guys, and currently from wrong, I wouldn't be on the spot here, you're openly talking about marriage, it seems.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, and we were honest on our podcast that we got pregnant, which was something we were trying for. It wasn't, you know, You were, we were. We were trying, yeah.

Like, we, because of my age, Luke's 32, I'm 40. And he came to my OB appointment with me over like that end of the summer, just so we could kind of see what was going on. Like what are we looking at? Because just for me, for myself personally, I was not, I have a lot of friends

who have frozen their eggs, and we're going through IVF and things like that. At this point in my life, I haven't done it yet so I didn't really wanna put myself through that. I was just like, it's in God universe, whatever you believe in, it's in God's plan. Like, if I'm supposed to get pregnant, it's going to happen. And Luke also knew all of this.

We got pretty serious, pretty fast, but I said, like, I'm not really at this point. And maybe I would change my mind. I have no idea, but I was just like I'm not really wanting to freeze my egg. So hopefully it all works out if it doesn't, are you going to stick around kind of a thing? So he went to my appointment with me and my doctor was like, yeah, like you have, like your ovaries are like you're 26 years old and all as well. And he just said, if you guys are ready to try, then you, like I would try for a few months.

Normally he would give someone a year, but he was like, because of my geriatric. That's 35. 35? All of your kids. So I'm like, yeah, I'm like senior citizen level at 40. It's so fucking rude. I'm so sorry.

I'm like, I'm telling you what, I'm just like 35 is a geriatric and I was like, let me see, what the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? My eggs are fresh. Medical term, you know, I don't have it too much. But yeah, so he just said, like for you guys, I would say, if you're going to start trying seriously, trying on your

ovulation day, blah, blah, blah, let's give it a few months, and if nothing's happening, then we'll look to other opportunities for you before even going the freezing the eggs route. There are other things that can pump your ovulation up, blah, blah, blah. So we got, we now know that we are really fortunate. I think it really was, because we obviously, guys were having unprotected sex, no shit, right? We're together. We're not careful, like really. But it hadn't happened yet. So I really think it was like the plan of the universe for us for it to happen. Because the time it happened, it was, we were gone for what, three weeks, after we wrapped up a

project this summer, a little road trip, Colorado, Indiana, Michigan, and all the way back to Colorado. Colorado and the Anna Michigan and all the way back to Colorado. I think we're in California. Anyway, all this stuff, but it was like after the trip, we were back in Colorado before she's flying back to California. As well, we can see that. And it happened and it wasn't planned. She didn't like test,

tribulation or anything. I just have this internal clock. Look has my internal clock. I know her body better than she does. Yeah, which is sometimes good. Benanas. Yeah. Anyway, after, you know, we got it on.

After her knocking her boots. After, you know, yeah. Anyway, I was like, I think you're ovulating today and she's like, how the hell would you know that? She pulls up her app, she's like, some of a bitch. You are right. It's all of a bitch. Yeah. She pulls up a rap, she's like, son of a bitch, I'm supposed to be happy with it. You are right, it's all of a bitch.

Yeah, so it's like you don't go into like trying to get pregnant without knowing that you want to get married. I also, she also didn't put up as much of a fight, so I figured she was ovulating. What? What? And he knew what would happen when we were more relaxed and calm and somewhere not in LA, mostly.

I called that, I said LA makes you way too anxious. It's going to happen somewhere. Yeah, but we never had a rule about marriage or pregnancy first. Obviously, for the two of us, we were on a little bit of a different timeline because of my age. And I've joked around with him, like, so when are you going to propose? Like, when are we getting married? But I, at the same time, I'm like, I want you to do it when you want to do it and when you're ready. And I don't care what the ring looks like and I don't care about all of this.

It's just my view on that has shifted so incredibly much over the last couple of decades. You know? That's awesome, Kristen. I really like, I love and appreciate that, especially someone, can I say like a reality TV star? We have, yeah.

So like, I think my sister-in-law is gonna hate that because she has this illusion of what it is. This idea of like all these Vanderpum people like they have the best rings and the best clothes of the show. Well, you're a lot of them too. But you guys, like especially you're your your your person like there's more depth to just the TV side of people. Of course.

And I'm Vanderpump. I was in my 20s and I was just a very different person. It was grown involved since then. And knowing what is important and what isn't anymore. And with Luke, even now, we have a jeweler friend. And we've gone to the jeweler friend and we've talked about like what I quote unquote want. And even since that first time, I'm like, give me a freaking like tin band. I don't care.

So, the person says she doesn't care about the ring. She told me she would literally kill me if I spend over a third number. Oh, if I spend over. I threw out a number. I'm like, I said say the money. You're getting there. No, she's like, if you spend this much money, I will kill you. 25 dollars a minute. Do not spend that much money on a number. I'm like I said I'm getting married. No, she's like if you spend this much money, I will kill you.

25 dollars a basis. Do not spend that much money on a rent. See? I'm like, husband is 25 bucks. 25 dollars a month. And I said, I promise you, I said I promise you, once I sell the app, I will give you $10 million. You'll get her.

And you bring that. We have our whole life for you to like get me some house. I would much rather. I mean, I shouldn't put it toward anything else. She's like, I would much rather I mean you can't put it toward anything else She's like, I would much rather You put it down I'll put it down

I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down

I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down

I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down I'll put it down you know, a couple hundred thousand dollars. Well, you're gonna get it one day. One day. When it's easy for us, not when it's stressful for us. But why, yeah, why would we ever put ourselves in a situation of like, it's not the highest thing in our priority list. I would much rather keep money for, you know,

for your children, or put it down to present. And they have like, there's so many other things. And like, all the power to the women who want a couple hundred thousand dollars in there. Of course. Of course. Leave your life. What do you say different?

Different. Different. I love that. Well, her engagement was like 2000. Of course. Leave me a laugh. What do I say different from different girls? Different girls? Different girls? I love that. I was right in the budget. Well, her engagement was like 2000 and the wedding ring was 25, but still like. We went to... Like if I really wanted to, I could stretch something, but it would make me stressful. It would take away from our lives.

And that's like how I feel with weddings too. Like, I can't think you guys have the same. We got married at the court. I'm from Staten Island. So this is like Italian reality TV heaven. So like literally everybody on this island will have a half a million dollar wedding and no one in the family even makes close to that per year. Right.

And then, you know, you know how it is. Big of a twist, really. So it's literally like my mom, and she knows, she listens, she'll go to a million dollar wedding, come back and be like, the fish sucked. Like, you guys will find anything to shit on a wedding. Why would people go through all that stress? So her and I are like, we're going to the courthouse.

We're gonna get the simplest thing done because we love each other, and nobody can infringe on that. Yes her and I are like, we're going to the courthouse. We're going to get the simplest thing done because we love each other and nobody can infringe on that. Yes, and that's it. I'm not paying $4,000 for chairs. But I'm sorry, so again, my beautiful mother-in-law was like, it's just trying to help me plan this wedding and we're going to have a tiny wedding.

And she was like, oh, it's probably going to be about like, X and $1 for chairs. And I was like, for what do you mean chairs? You're like, for people to sit down? Yeah, and she was like, yeah, and I was like, oh, no. No, sorry, no. I was like, we what do you mean, cheers? You're like a people to sit down? Yeah, and she was like, yeah, I was like, oh, no. No, sorry, no. I was like, we can travel with that. We can, how many money for a down payment on a house?

We can save money for children's future, for our future. We want, Luke and I want to have more than one house. I would rather have more than one house. I've got a house supposed to be a way to like party for a whole one day. Yeah, but I think. I think full other people. That's what it is. And like at the end of the day, like a wedding is a beautiful thing. And one day. Yeah, but I think. For other people. That's what it is.

And at the end of the day, a wedding is a beautiful thing. And one day, I would love to have a ceremony. Of course. We had a beautiful courthouse wedding. It will say, forever in my mind, we had my best friend come down and take film photos of it. Like, what have that forever? But the fact that we were so smart about what we did and how

we did it, and it was just about us. Yes. It was me and him looking to each other's eyes with this weird ass celebration at the Beverly Hills Courthouse. Like that's something I'm so excited to tell our children and I grow up around children one day. But I think we're all aligned pretty much on this,

but we're trying to build empires together. And to build the empire, you need to do the hardship first. And a lot of people want the easy stuff first. And when you do that, there's no way you're building an empire together. When you do it the right way in the future, you could do whatever you want,

but it's like finding the right person and finding the right path where it's like, we're totally aligned on kicking ass and building this powerhouse life that it'll all pay off in the long run. So that's how I feel. I'm really, really happy. Now I wanna go back about my gift giving.

It's called like Amazon guys. I'm talking like, no, no, wait, I'm just so everyone knows. I'm not buying them with wildly expensive things. No, okay, it's not crazy. But sometimes she's like, I got you two new shirts, some shoes. I really like these socks. And I do the same thing.

I write Joe a lot of notes. Like I look like that socks. And that's just just like... I do the same thing. I write Joe a lot of notes. Like, I like that type of gift giving. I'm just being like expressing whether it be through like material things. But it's like, I love it. I really appreciate you. Thank you so much for being in my life. That's what I think it will, what it comes down to.

Yeah. But also, I mean, Hannon, you're going through the same thing. It's a serious thing that you guys are going through. And as I'm sure Luke and I could have test were there for you and it'll all work out. It's just part of the journey of life. And there's probably reason why it didn't happen.

Because when it does happen, you wouldn't have that kid in that situation. So it's, I mean, I really did think about it. And this is like so small in one day. I actually didn't even say this to you, but I thought about it once I was kind of more clear-headed, but I'm going, okay, so our lease is up in August. So now, now.

We can get out of the apartment. We can get out of the apartment, people. Right. I'm not even joking that really did cross them. I'm like, was that a golf plan? Wait, something that came to my mind, we didn't have a health insurance and kick-in until January. And so I was like, yeah, they golf plan? Wait, something that came to my mind, we had a health insurance and kick-in until January. And so I was like, yeah, there you go, it happened for a reason.

I was like, I would have been like eight months pregnant if I was going to go back to Australia for my mum's 60th birthday in June. And the podcast sort of had to start for a little bit now. Like the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is, I think it's so interesting, but it's so beautiful that we went through the same experience, near weeks apart, and understand why I'm like, but understanding that it is just, as you said, the universe, God, what have you. It is a part of a plan that is higher

than a, that we don't understand, but taking it in grace and taking it in stride, and understanding that what, what will be will be and this just obviously wasn't meant to be in the way that it was. Yeah. Are you okay though? Yeah. De, you know, it's kind of like what we talked about before the package. Like, yeah.

Some days, you're some days good. Yeah, but yeah. We got each other now. We're going to be best friends. Yeah. But now you get my ring thing. Now you really get it because you met two people. each other now we're gonna be best friends. Yeah. But now you get my ring thing. Now you really get it because you met two people.

No, I know, but you're like, but pretty sure. Well, I'll be honest, like you were saying, the whole reality thing. I'm like, am I gonna give her the smallest ring ever given in reality to you? That's what's gonna happen to me. That's what I'm gonna be known for. The kind of thing.

I mean, this is just my two cents. You'll probably have a real relationship forever when these people who do get the big rings and I don't wanna generalize, but a lot of these people end up divorced and they don't really care about the person. It's more about the thing that they get. So in the long run, you're gonna be a way richer

than they could ever be. That's the key. So. That's the idea. That's how I see it. I agree. That's fair, that's fair. I never used to care as much about what people's opinions are until more and more people have opinions about me.

You were thrust into it. Yeah, so how is that being on the outskirts of reality TV? For you. Well, I won't be on the outskirts for too much longer. You're going to be in the ins I'll be in the in skirts. I'll be in skirts. In skirts? In skirts?

Excuse me. But it's been a little bit interesting. We'll say, Kristen introduces me to a dozen new people a week or, you know, more sometimes. I have a very small group of, we have a, what I've learned since dating Luke 2 is like, it does take a village to eventually help us raise a family and things like that, but that village that circle has gotten so, so tiny. But I've lived in LA for 16 years and he doesn't live here all the time. So I know a lot of people.

Yeah. So just from my own edification, because I don't know anything about any of this. Art, you are on Vanderpump when you were in your 20s. The show still goes on now. The show still goes on now. I know about the whole like, what was it, Tom? It's terrible.

Tom and Arianna. Arianna, Arianna, Arianna. Yeah. I was on for eight seasons. How long for eight seasons. And now you're not. Now I have a new project the worst kept secret in Bravo TV. We're not allowed to talk about it. Okay. That's exciting. That's good. We were asked to be part of, I guess, Lisa Banner-Pump's doing an European thing. The one in France. So we got asked to do some wedding party or something there and...

And I said, listen, I love you so much but I do not want to be a part of a rouse. I'm so glad you said no. I am so... I knew that you'd love that. Glad you said no. I was like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I love you.

I'm too pissed. It was like you invite 10 people to be part of this party. It's like below deck meets, fan or pump roast. Basically, yeah. My sister-in-law was pissed, but we were like, we don't have the time or care to be on.

Right, so we- Yeah, not on the energy right. Mm-hmm, not at all. That's just energy. Okay, well, we don't even know what to say. We're talking about what I was gonna say. They're probably not paying you enough to go- Oh no, fuck that man.

We're gonna pay the asses to the balls of A's. I'm not gonna go beyond to go. Oh no, fuck them, man. Or anything. Yeah, the actual role is amazing. I'm not looking like I'd be on film for fucking... Yeah, promise I ain't about whatever this potential show is, because now, because I know you guys are like really good people, I'm gonna watch reality TV. Oh boy, look at that. I've been up to the show. You know what?

They don't capture all of your personality and who you are in reality TV. No, that's not it. Yeah, that's something that Luke has looked for sure. I mean, it didn't take very long. Well, you know that, you know that. You're watching. I thought this summer was an interesting experience.

We'll put it that way. Yeah. Okay. So I have no idea how things are going to work. The weird thing we're talking about will be announced in January next month. Really? That's what everyone will know. That's what I feel like, Luke. Maybe talking more about it. Regardless of people have your podcast next month. So, big data everyone will know. Yes. So I feel like maybe talk more about it.

Regardless of people have your podcast and now this podcast, we have to know the true versus this like. We think that the, if people have been listening to the podcast, sorry, I just started. But people that have been listening to the podcast know me far better than anyone will know me. So they can. With what's coming out.

I can actually, I'm just a normal average job. So I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I'm for you. I'm just a normal average joke. So I appreciate it. I mean, I appreciate it. I'm going to understand I'm pretty average-loooked. Yeah, average joke and average, like, they're less than that. I feel like it's a public place to end.

Yeah. Well, do you want to do your advert fire or anything? Or it just, you, I don't know if it's joint, do you want to end anyway? Honestly, like pretty much all the advert fire I had was being pretty much entered very organically unless you have some indelible. So we have a universal

question. We do. We ask our guests. I was singing it or we just sing. Sing it. Sing it. Okay, so I don't understand keys and singing. But I can be singing the most obvious like tell us with song. I'm a big swiftie. Uh-huh. I'm like, what song are you singing? I'm like Cornelius Street. She's like, off-key thing. I don't know. I'm like, what gear are you singing? I'm like, Cornelius Street, she's like, that's off-key thing. I don't know.

Yeah, Gripple was like, what gear are you singing? I'm like, I don't know what you're singing. You're so me singing, I don't know, cheese. Let's do it. Yeah, sure. Three, two, one. And I would do anything for love. But I won't do.

You would do anything for love, but you won't do. Ooh, I had a really like, can I say what I Fucking be crucified as pride you or other people. What's it? What is it? anal You know what I was actually gonna say like I wouldn't deal with a poo fetish So we're kind of in the same And that's why we're very aligned

Alright, it's been a while cool That's very I need another one. We always have to have another one. Yeah, I always had to call for that one. live this time around. But I won't, I'm going somewhere I live, but I won't live somewhere that I have to or shoes all the time. Okay. Deal. Why do you live in LA? I don't wear shoes ever. My feet are just fusting. Anytime you're not in the box of our apartment, you have to show. That's not true. Whenever we go to Venice, I walk around

barefoot all the time. My feet are You have to shoot that. That's so true. Whenever we go to Venice, I walk around barefoot all the time. My theater, black, Luke, and me. Seems very like a hard-to-peer. He asked me to like, wipe my feet off. Okay, I was driving. I was driving. I was wish, no shoes. Yeah, I'm not a fan of shoes either.

I'm not a fan of shoes either. But you let it clean feet. We're doing this a lot. So I'm like, with something new, I would do anything for love, but I won't. You got this. I already said like, climb out Everest. I don't do anything for love, but I won't. Hmm. You got this.

I already said like climb out Everest. I said a bunch of things. That's just like, I'm gonna die. I'm not gonna make it. But you wouldn't do that for love or you wouldn't do it in general. I'm probably gonna die. I'm probably gonna do this in general.

I'm not gonna die. I mean, that's fair. Hence why I went skydive. But I won't talk badly about Steve Irwin. Ooh. Wow, that was actually good when you think about that. I don't know who would ever talk about bad about Steve Irwin because we did then, we got some fucking issues,

but I love that answer so much. That's a great answer, I'm very impressed. That's awesome, well my best. It was honestly a pleasure meeting both of you and I'm very, very impressed. What's the word? When it's an over expectation? Well, it was honestly a pleasure meeting both of you and very What's the word when it's an over expectation? I'm so excited You guys exceeded my expectations. I'm very happy

Very happy I love your studio today. This place is awesome. Yeah, self-taips Thank you, well, we have to have Thank you very much. Well, we have Tavdina at some point. Yes, we did. I agree. All right, love it. Thank you so much for being here, guys. Thanks, guys. Make sure to follow us on social media.

You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Doating and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke Double Under Score, Broadway. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with the new episodes every single Wednesday. Thanks for listening. See you next week.