Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - Hot Mic Response: When Reality Hits with Brittany Cartwright Crossover

Episode Date: April 13, 2025

Episode 153. The Valley Season 2 premieres on Bravo this Tuesday, April 15th, at 9PM EST! As we gear up for the premiere, check out Kristen and Brittany Cartwright’s candid response to the "Hot Mic" podcast which originally aired on “When Reality Hits".   Note: We apologize for any awkward mic sounds during this episode. Unfortunately, the microphone wasn’t on a stand, which caused some unintended noise. We’re working to ensure better sound quality moving forward. Thanks for your patience and understanding! Sponsors: ZocDoc: Stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to Zocdoc.com/DOUTE to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.   goPure Beauty: For a limited time, our listeners get 25% off goPure with code KRISTEN at checkout. Just head to gopurebeauty.com, use code KRISTEN. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Yeah, it's a big deal. The Ford It's a Big Deal event. Visit your Toronto area Ford store or Ford.ca today. Hi, I'm Vanessa from the podcast Real Moms at Bravo. What happened with Lindsay and Carl or what's going on with the cast of Southern Charmed? Find out on Real Moms at Bravo three times a week. Listen to us wherever you podcast. Hi babes. Welcome back to another episode of Balancing Act. The premiere of The Valley

is almost here. Who is ready? It is going to be airing every Tuesday on Bravo at 9 p.m. and you can watch it the next day on Peacock. So as we gear up for the premiere of The Valley, I'm going to be airing today mine and Brittany's response to Bravo's Hot Mic podcast. And this episode originally aired on Brittany's podcast, When Reality Hits. So I just want you guys to like gear up and get ready for all the drums. I know you've probably seen the trailer.

If you haven't, you need to watch it. I think even the first seven minutes might already be kind of out and about. But this first episode is, I will say it's very mild in comparison to the rest of the season. I think it's a really great episode though. It kind of gets you all set up and ready to go for what's to come. And I'm just really excited to see the intro and excited to hear what everyone has to say. But anywho, enjoy this ep.

I want to ask how you're feeling and how you're doing. I'm good. I feel really tan. So I'm happy. I got a tan in the Bahamas and being tan just always makes me feel hotter and better about myself. Same. Talking about exceeding external validation. No, but I actually feel really good. The second trimester is a lot easier than the first. Since I've been on Lexapro, which I talk about on my podcast random, but like since I started to take my anti-anxiety medication, like the pregnancy has shifted tremendously for me. And I think it probably just gets easier, right? Like once the hormones calm down and... I mean, yeah. And you also had extra hormones because you were doing the shots and all the things and everything in the beginning. So you had like a teenage boy times 10. Yes. Totally. And like now I can feel her kick and it's just like all the cool stuff's

happening. And I still have energy, which I heard is probably going to go away in the next few weeks when I get like really big and really, really pregnant. But right now I have like energy and I'm trying to work out, you know, like once or twice a week at least, like twice a week. Yeah, her and Jenna are coming over and using my gym and I love it. I need to get in there more myself. I love your gym. It's so girly.

It's girly. Yeah, so I'm feeling pretty good. So has like the nausea and stuff, is it going away for you? No, the nausea came back, but it's like, I just know what to do. You know, you pop a Zofran, chew on ice. Like that's my other thing. I'm like chomping on ice. Like my life fucking depends on it.

Yes. Okay. Yeah. But do you have it every single day? Like, do you, do you feel nauseous or do you actually like throw up or do you just feel nauseous? Mostly just nauseous. But I do get sick in the morning sometimes. It's like this weird hunger pain that like immediately makes me sick. So I'm really just like, sorry guys. I'm just like throwing up water basically, like dry heaving a lot in the morning. And

then I have to like figure it out. And I'm like, okay, bananas really help. Randomly protein smoothies from like Robex, like banana strawberry protein smoothies. Oh my god, Robex. I was on, you know, I'm from the South so I'm like, acai, acai, I don't know how you say it. But that was something that I had to have like almost every single day. Yeah, it really helps like strangely. So I've shifted to those away from my McDonald's Coke that I was having every single day. That was probably upsetting your stomach worse. Like, and you didn't realize it.

Yeah, I think so. I think like once in a while it's great, but like the acidity and I think all the sugar, I was like haywire on sugar. Yeah, but sometimes when you feel like you have no energy and you're nauseous, normally that's what would make you feel better if you're not pregnant. Trust me, I went through the whole nauseous thing, the sickness the whole time. So I just hope that it's not going to be like that for you. I'm taking a page out of your book because I remember when I would be like, oh, well, my God, you don't feel good again?

You're like, no, but you would have lots of options of food because you weren't sure what was going to help at what time. So that's kind of, I'm like mimicking that where I'm like, I mean, sometimes I want the cold, crunchy salad and sometimes I want cereal and sometimes I want french fries. But sometimes those things make me sick and I want soup. It's like very weird. So I just want a buffet. Yeah, same. I think that maybe I'm pregnant is why I order how I order food now. I order so many different things on the menu and eat a little bit of every single little thing.

That's why you're a fun dinner date. I'm like, let's get all the appetizers. Let's try everything. Let's just share everything instead of us just having our own individual meals. So Kristen just got back from the Bahamas. How was that? It was so fun. That was your baby moon. It was my baby moon. And it was so funny because I just started watching Southern Charm not

that long ago, the new season. And I hadn't watched it for, I still, I mean, I haven't backtracked. So I haven't seen many, many, many seasons. But I just wanted to start watching it because I ran out of TV shows. And what's airing right now is them at the same resort at Bahamar that you've been to. Yeah, I do. So one night we were watching TV, because I go to bed early, and we randomly turned on Bravo, and we're watching the cast of Southern Charm at Bahamar while we're in our room at Bahamar. I was like, this is so weird and like, I don't know, it's not inception, but like, you know.

I know what you mean, but I can't think of it either. I'm like, ah. Warning brain. But anywho, but it was so fun. We got to like feed flamingos, just the two of us and like, you know, be so up close and personal with them, which was so fun. We got to feed flamingos, just the two of us, and be so up close and personal with them, which was really fun. Yeah, I got my tan. We gambled.

I won some money on a slot machine. That was exciting. The food was amazing. Heck yeah. Did you do Wheel of Fortune? Wheel of Fortune. I lost 100 bucks in like 13 seconds. Oh my gosh.

That's what happens to me every time I try. But I found another little slot that we were like, there was like six of them in a little carousel. And so we would just stick our money in, win some, take it out, go to the next one and like go around in circles. And that's how you won? Oh my gosh, well good for you. So anyway, it was super fun. I'm glad we got to go on a vacation.

I've never been to the Bahamas. I had not been out of the country in over two years because my passport expired and it's been expired for a year and a half. I had to rush a new passport. And it doesn't take. It's not as easy as people think. No. It was very expensive and it took like three weeks, which was great, but it was expensive. And you rushed it. Yeah, because I was lazy and just had it on my calendar and my to-do list.

So yours just expired. Expired a year and a half ago. Oh, goodness. Oh gosh, when does mine expire? I feel like mine might say like 2026, but I need to check it now. Because I actually did this whole thing the other day and I was talking and I was like, oh yeah, I'm going to kill 2024. And I was just saying 2024, it's going to be the best year. I'm going to make sure that I'm on top of things in 2024. And I was just saying 2024, it's going to be, it's going to be the best year I'm going to make sure that I'm on top of things in 2024. And then I get done and they're like, pretty is 2025. And I was like, what? And I'm like, couldn't even like comprehend

that I was like, wait, what? It's 2025. Like I should know that. It's like, it's obvious. I wore the glasses on New Year's Eve, did all the things, but I still am like, it just doesn't sound right. It just doesn't sound right. It's hard for me to write it on checks. I don't write checks very often. Yes, checks. But I've messed up a handful of checks that I've written. Yeah, same. That's what was happening to me. And I'm like, why do I still feel like it's 2024? Whatever.

No, is it like that every year? I don't think so. I think it's the 25 of it all. That's making it like weird. Yeah, that is really fucking weird. Okay. Get to the nitty gritty of it all. So I wanted Kristen to be on today's podcast because as we've all seen, Jax was just on Alex Baskin's Bravo's Hot Mic podcast. And you know, there's just a lot to discuss from that. I've got so many notes and so many things that I could say about that episode. But I feel like I needed to have Kristin on because she's known Jax even longer than I have.

So she's seen the behaviors and his excuses and things like that for a long time. And I just, I know she has my back always as well. She's my girl. So I just felt like she was the perfect person to talk about this with. I'm not here just to bash Jax. It's not my place to, but I told Brittany like right when I got here after I had listened to the hot mic podcast, I finished it this morning and I said, you know, Brittany, if I were you and that were my husband, ex-husband, like I can't even imagine the amount of fucking notes that I would have written down.

Yeah. And now coming from me as someone who has fought with Jax, pretty sure I'm still blocked by Jax on Instagram, but who, and I love him dearly. Like I really do care about his wellbeing. Of course. We all do. Even he gets like, I know when this comes out, my texts are going to go off and he's going to get all mad at me.

And I say the same thing every time. I, Jax, I tell him, your feelings are valid. No one can take away your feelings. You can be jealous. You can be hateful. You can be angry, sad. You can be all of the above. Your actions are not validated. You can't just do or say whatever you want without consequences. You can feel it. But he's had that for so long where he didn't have consequences for his actions.

There are some things he admits to. There's just some things that don't quite fit. That don't quite add up. Yes. Yeah. So that's another thing I want to say before we get into this is like, no one wants Jax to be better more than I do. Like let's be real, I've tried and tried and tried for years and years to help this man

get better and for us to be a happy family. I was deeply, mad and tried for years and years to help this man get better and for us to be a happy family. I was deeply, madly in love with that, with him. There's nobody that could ever deny that, you know. My love was real and I tried very, very hard to make sure that, especially after we had our son, that he was getting the help he needed. And so I want to start with the very beginning of why he had to go to rehab for the second time in the first place. Kristin knows because I think you might've like came over that night. I was over the next day.

The next day. Yeah. So another reason why. I was over the next day and then the day after that is when I recorded my Hot Mic podcast Alex Baskin. Oh yes, yes. And I was dragging Jacks because then when, sorry Hot Mic podcast, Alex Baskin, and I was dragging Jax because then when, sorry, really quick to back up, when mine came out, and I was not even that bad about him, but he was like, how could you say that?

How could you say that? And I go, Jax, with what I know from the other day, I would have hit you with my car. And it's what happened right before. Right. It's what happened that the incident in the car with you and Chris. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

So anyway, I was reacting to the way I felt about that day and I was nice. Yeah. So anyway. Okay. So let's get into what actually happened. Jax did tell some of the story, but he didn't tell the whole truth. So the night before, I could tell that Jax was out and he was partying and I knew what that meant and let's all remind each other that he had

already been in rehab the first time for the full 30 days and you know I knew he wasn't doing better. I feel like I was very like vocal about that that things had not changed and it hadn't and so the night before Cruz had a doctor's appointment and we had to leave the house at like 1030 so I was being nice and I was like if you want to come to the doctor's appointment be at my house by 1030 blah blah blah well then he started like sending me a bunch of like awful messages and being rude to me the night before and I said I can tell you're out I can tell you're partying please do not come to my house tomorrow please do not show

up I can go to this doctor's appointment by myself I just don't feel like it's gonna be good for you and I he shows up anyway the next morning even though I told him not to and our doctor is in Beverly Hills like at certain times a day that can take you over an hour to get there so I'm like we have to go we have to go we have to be there at a certain time And I kept being like are you over and of course he just lies and denies and you know Just will never admit what he did the night before even though I can like see telltale signs on his face And you know when he's lying. I know he's lying that you know, yeah, but he still was like I can can, yeah, we're, I'm coming. I'm coming. This is my son. I'm coming. That was the whole thing. This is my son. I'm coming too.

Which is also how you know that he's hungover coming down, which, which he said on the podcast too. So we're not putting words in his mouth, but his lack of patience is like infinity. It's awful. Yeah, it's awful. Snapping at you. So we finally get into the car and we're on our way. And even though I didn't want to, I promise you I did not want to I knew that that was a mistake from the as soon as I got in the car. So we're in the car and before anything happens, he's just coming down on me about the bar opening, being like, it's

his bar like just screaming at me over all kinds of things before any guy ever texted my phone. Because he mentions on the podcast that my phone was plugged in to the GPS, which it was and a guy texted me, which all that's true. But he was already in a horrible mood and already fighting with me and making me cry before that ever even happened. Let me make that clear. Before a guy ever texted my phone, he was already at my throat, he was already making me cry,

and I was in the car for at least 30 minutes at that point. I kept, like, we almost pulled over so I could get out and call an Uber and put me and Cruz in an Uber. Like, it was bad. So then whenever this guy texts my phone, his name pops up on the screen in the car, he loses it. He starts trying to grab my phone and cruises in the backseat in his car seat.

That alone is horrible. So he's reaching over, grabbing my phone, yelling at me, saying all this stuff. Then he starts saying the most despicable things you could ever say to your ex. Talking about other girls, talking about how they're going. I mean, I don't want to go into too much details, but it was just imagine the worst things a guy could say about being with other girls in front of the girl that they were married for 10 years to or in a relationship with for 10 years. So he's doing all this and we finally get to the place.

I'm bawling, crying and I'm like, please do not come upstairs. Please not come upstairs to the doctor's office. I already knew that I was calling Uber on the way home. Like there was no doubting that I'm never getting a car with that man again. I go upstairs, we're in the doctor's office. Five minutes later, Jack shows up and he walks into our room, yelling at me, screaming at me, and then the doctor walks in and he puts on this face, like, everything's fine and, you know, doesn't act like anything's wrong and we, you know,

we're doing everything for Cruz. I'm even smiling, going along with it because I don't want... This is embarrassing. This is our doctor's appointment. Every time the doctor's left, why is this guy texting you? What is going on? Blah, blah, blah. Would not drop it. Would not drop it.

Would not stop letting me down. Would not stop coming onto me. And I was just like, this is horrible. This is horrible. Finally, the doctor's office's visit is over. I take an Uber home. I come home to my house. And I'm like, you're not coming in

here. We Uber, follow behind, do the drop-off with Cruz, lock the doors. Cruz is in the house. Thank God my nanny was here because she was like cleaning that day or something. She's like literally the best person ever. I love her. She's my family. But she was here that day and Jax walks around to the back while I have like a sliding door and he just lets himself in and I'm like, you cannot be in here. It was a really, really, really bad situation. I'm trying not to give too many details with, but just imagine like how-

Just the amount of stress. Yes. And Zulee, who's my nanny, she like comes over and like stands in front of me and she's like, you have to leave. So he finally leaves. And that's also whenever he got to that hit and run. And that was the very same day after he left this house. So there was just so much stuff piling on top of it. You know, I will be the first to admit I've been that person, you know, the one

who says I'm too busy or it'll heal on its own when I need to go see a doctor. Or the classic, I don't need help. I mean, we've all been there, right? But I am also the queen of Googling stuff. You wake up, tight pain in your neck and suddenly you're on TikTok. Like, is this normal? Spoiler alert, it is never as normal as you think.

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That's z o c d o c dot com slash Doty. Zocdoc.com slash doty. So what I did is I called his sister, my manager, my publicist and Alex Baskin. And I called all of them and I was like, this is horrible. He has not changed whatsoever. He's trying to act like in public that he's this like mental health advocate and he's this and that and he's so much better and he's, you know, giving all these excuses and doing all these like victim mentality things. And I was like, it's not fair. I was like, I am being yelled

at and being in this is a struggle on my everyday life. I was like, something has to be done. So on the podcast, on the podcast, Jack says that he looked in the backseat and realized that Cruz was there. And that's why he had to go. That's not true. And I don't care. I'm going to call that out. Yeah. If I hadn't called all these people and Alex Baskin and his job Demanded like an intervention. Yeah an intervention. Yeah, if his job wasn't threatened yet again Like it was the first time around he would not have went and it made me very upset that he tried to act like oh I saw Cruz in the back seat and I was like that's whenever I had to to go. Because it's a good story. But the bottom line for you as your best friend is he could not and he did not do it for you or Cruz. And that's what was a huge like anchor of

like pissing you off, upsetting you, making you heartbroken. It was like, how could you not do it for us, but you could do it for this. So when you hear that and people are like, Oh, he did it for his son. And then you're just like, fuck you. No, it's like, no, that's absolutely not true. That's not true. He denied and denied he had a problem. And even the night before, more truth I'm going to spill because this was over the holiday. So I was having a Thanksgiving. I always host like a friends giving on Thanksgiving and I was terrified that he was going to show up uninvited to my house because he kept saying that's my house I'll come if I want to stuff like that even though it's not. So he says you know that he was going to show up so I was so scared. So getting everybody involved in him thinking that he might lose his job and this and this and that he decides to check into a actual rehab facility. Finally, like starts kind of saying different than the first, which is different than the first place was a mental health facility, which I desperately wanted him to go to too. You will see that on season two of The Valley, like how that came along, but I can only talk

about things that are happening recent. But for the second time, we were like, you need to go in not only for mental health, but you need to, you know, say something about how you have an addiction to cocaine. And you know, he fought it, he fought it, he fought it. I don't have a problem. I only do it when I'm drinking. I don't have a problem, this and this and that. Never would admit it. So finally, he gets checked into the first place and leaves after one day. So he leaves, he checks in for one night, leaves on Thanksgiving morning. And I'm getting all these calls while I'm cooking a huge dinner for like 25 of my friends

that he's already signed out of rehab after one day. And I was devastated. I'm crying. I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is the worst. What's going to happen? What's going to happen? And ultimately he goes back to the same place that he went to for the first 30 days, months before. Then he says that he only stayed for 17 days the second time. Failed drug test

at both places, let's make that clear, but still left early, thought that he had had enough so this is why I am very weary of it all like I said nobody wants him to be better than I do but we went through this the first time 30 days he was sober got right out and started drinking again I'm gonna be cautious because I'm you know I do have an addictive personality I'm not an addict when I'm not pregnant I'm not a sober personality. I'm not an addict. When I'm not pregnant, I'm not a sober person, so I want to be cautious with my words. And I know you feel the same way for it. But like, I will say as someone who knows Jackson, as someone who has been in therapy,

someone who has refused to go to therapy in the past, I have, when he was talking about how he did not need to be there past 17 days. Okay. He's not in position to make that decision Yeah, one little stint in there in in rehab for 30 days or a mental health facility months go by you're not clean You're angry. You're not doing the work you go back two weeks is nothing. No, that is nothing Especially if he's admitting he's been he's admitting he's been, you know, addicted for 20 years. Right. And so, yeah, he just wasn't in a position to make that decision. Now, like, you know, I'm proud of him for, I'll say, like, starting at the beginning of the podcast, I had to watch the video. I couldn't just listen to it because I wanted to like, look at his face, see his body languages, mannerisms and whatnot. Yeah. I can tell how hard it was for him

to say those words out loud. He didn't want to. No, oh, 100%. He didn't want to. And to say them out loud at all, and to say them out loud publicly, I'm curious if he owns that when he's alone. I'm curious if he sits with himself yet, and maybe not yet, but if he owns that, you know, when he's alone. I'm curious if he sits with himself yet,

and maybe not yet, but if he even will, Jax, when you're listening to this. I really hope that you will sit alone with yourself and say, I have an addiction and I wanna get better. And it wasn't, it's not just like a public for show type thing. Cause doesn't it worry you that he knows that The Valley season 2 is about to come out and that everyone's gonna see how bad he was and it's kind of like the time is now

him trying to Victimize himself a little bit and try to make himself like You know, it does make me nervous, but I will also say, like in commending him for admitting this stuff, I think it does hold him accountable. Yeah, yeah, for sure. You can't take it back. Yeah. And so I think that is like,

I give him a huge pat on the back for saying that out loud and holding himself accountable. Because now if anyone supports the behavior, the drugs, the drinking, God forbid he slips, you know, we hope he doesn't. But if anyone in his life does, like, they're on my hit list. My hit list, my shit list.

Like, I will take you out if you are there to support any bad behavior by him because what he needs right now is not yes men. He has people validating all of this bad behavior. He needs real true friends that are going to be like, it's fucking great that you're sober. Yeah, we can just go to the movies. Exactly.

We can just do this. We don't have to go out and get fucked up to be cool. Exactly. I'll go to that event with you and I won't drink with you. Yeah, exactly. Because it is really hard and I know that, I mean, it's so not the same thing, you guys, but like being pregnant, I have a hard time going to like events and stuff around people that are drinking because not because I like really want to drink, but like

it's annoying. Yeah, of course. I went through the same thing. I mean, I was in during COVID, so it wasn't as bad obviously, but. For him, like I think he did word it really well that he's not in the need of a drink all the time, but he knows that they go hand in hand. I absolutely do agree with that. I know he's not an alcoholic, but I do know that it can be really, he still wants to be social.

He still wants to go to events. He wants to go to appearances and things eventually, right? At some point. But he needs to find comfort and it's okay to do those things sober. And he just needs an army of true friends, whether it's, and by army, I mean like three strong people, not like 20, that will support him in that way. But he admitted himself that he seeks that fucking validation. He calls the yes people, he calls the girls. Yep. But the thing is for me, because listen, I really hope that he truly is has been sober for these last

83 days. But he's also said to me that he knows exactly how long it takes to come out of his system. So the drug test for it. Yeah. So for the drug testing on every Monday, like it scares me. So I am drug testing him myself for the safety of my son. And I'm going to continue doing that for a while. But I just feel like it's just so hard because even if he is sober, his actions have not changed. I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that that's the hardest. Yeah. That's the hardest thing for me. He's so angry. Like the anger is still not something he can control. Yeah. Or choosing not to control with you.

He's acting like that he can control it, but it's not even just with me anymore. I feel like he also said this on the podcast, how he was calling the girls and stuff, but I get DMs almost every single week from a different girl sending me disgusting messages that he is sending to them. Who in their right mind would ever wanna see that stuff? I mean, it's been hard on me because I am trying to move on and get out of this and I'm getting dragged into all these situations.

I don't wanna read these messages. I don't wanna read this nasty stuff that you're saying, these threats that you're saying, these nasty, like sexual messages. Like how in the world does he think that makes me feel? And the fact that these women also think. Just let the women think like, yeah, why would they send that to you? Why would they send that to me? As soon as he's done love bombing them and he throws them away, they come into my DMs

and it is so crazy. I get it, but like what like Jax also has to stop doing that. Like you're 45 years old. Yeah, you're not 45 years old. Like it is constant for me and it's just part of like other reasons why I cannot believe anything that he says or does because I'm trying to protect my son and every single day I'm seeing like all these different nasty, horrible messages. The problem is that like, it's like what we heard on this podcast, like he's saying all

of the right stuff and he's acting on some of it. Yeah. But he's not acting on all of it the way that he's proclaiming that he's acting on all of it. And that is the fucking frustrating part I know for you. And as your friend and as someone who cares about him, but as your best friend, it's like, I hear some of this shit and I'm like, oh my God, my fists couldn't get tighter. I have fucking frustration. Because I don't know.

I think the hardest part too is that like all of this stuff has potential to get better. Which is all I want. This doesn't have to be his forever. I have to believe that. But like the bullshit about therapy, it's like. Oh and another, the bullshit about therapy that he goes once a week, also saying on Alex's podcast that he should start outpatient

I thought he'd been on outpatient this whole time. That's what so patient is going to therapy Yeah, it's going into a facility out. Yeah, so he told me straight up But he's going into outpatient and that he's been an outpatient and then he says I think I need to go without he Contradicts himself over and over and over again He says that he's never yelled at me sober, which is also a lie That's a lie. There are a lot of things that that and I'm not saying I'm perfect. Of course, I fight with him He was my husband. We were together for ten years. Of course. I fought with him too. Of course I said things to know what even Brittany everyone knows that like everyone who's in a fucking relationship

Yeah, that two people fight with two people. Yeah, but nobody even, Brittany, everyone knows that. Like everyone who's in a fucking relationship knows that two people fight with two people and you're whatever. Yeah. But that was the part of the podcast where he shifted. Everything fucking shifted. Second Alex Baskin said, let's talk about Brittany or however you worded it. Jax's voice changed, his body language changed, his energy shifted, and he suddenly went into this,

I treated her this way and admitting blah, blah, blah, and then in the same breath, it was like, I'm sorry, but. It was so much, I'm sorry, but. She, it takes two, She did this, did it. No, no, no, no, no, no, bro. Yeah. No, you led that tango all by yourself. Exactly.

You dragged her. Thank you. You had her like chained to you during that tango that you fucking did to her. Yeah. You did nothing but try and I watched it every day of your relationship, of your marriage, every day, even during your divorce, the amount of energy you put in to try to be a good co-parent with him.

When he would give, give, give for let's say five, six days and be like the nicest guy ever to you and you were like, okay, great, finally. It would even make you emotional at times. Where was this man? This is the fucking man that I thought I was marrying. Exactly. But you were never like, should I be with him?

You were like, well, that man's gone. This is really unfortunate. Yeah. It upset you. And then it was like he didn't get what he wanted, which was you just falling back into his arms. Yeah. So then he would flip.

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Like I said, he contradicted himself so many times. He said he never fought with me sober, and that it takes two to tango. And then he's like, oh, Alex, you know, Alex was like, how are things with you and Brittany right now? And he was like well you talked to her on the phone last night. Didn't you things aren't great? We had to blow up last night. This is while in the he's supposedly sober and I'm only saying supposedly I hope that he actually is but I'm just saying

Everything is not changing like he is blame it all. No And everything is not changing. Like he is blame it all. No, no. And I will support him and be there for him and you know, as much as I can. But like how much more can a person take? You know, I've been dragged down and lost all my confidence and everything for so long. I tried to help him for so long, tried to get him help way before he went to rehab the first time. And he says on the podcast,

while I'm talking about this now, is that my wife said that I'm acting like I'm depressed and I need to go. And he's like, I tried the pills and they made me know he never got that prescription field. Like, why is he lying? Like I tried it said in my junk drawer forever. Yeah, and you know that for a fact I actually yeah, I remember he texts me Which he did say he did say it was right before filming this season he texts me like end of May beginning of June of this past year of 2024 and told me that he got Alexa pro prescription and Was asking me,

should I take it in the morning? Should I take it at night? Like, how is it for you? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then on the podcast, he said, well, it didn't work. Yeah. Okay, but if he did actually start taking that, he took it for 30 days.

He didn't. He didn't even get the prescription field. Yeah. It sat in my drunk drawer. Me and his sister tried to get him to at least try it Right just to at least try it and he did it and he lied and said that he did Yeah, he said it blatantly on the podcast and that's not true It's sat in that drawer and I begged him to at least try it out. I mean you begged him for years Years and years and years for sure. I think the thing that really pissed me off,

Jax, I'm talking to you too, man. Like it really, really, really upset me was in the beginning of talking about you. He of course was saying really wonderful things as he should, but then he said, you know, I respect her. I took so much offense for you because that is the problem is that he's not respecting you. No. He's not showing any respect.

Jax comes first in his own story, his own life. He cares about Jax Taylor and Jax Taylor more than anything else. Yeah. And you know, of course we had good times over the years, and I think that he does, you know, want to be a good father and stuff, but he hasn't shown me that. Like, how am I supposed to trust this man? I think he does want all of it too. I think he wants to be kind to you. I don't think he wants to be an angry elf.

I don't think he wants to throw tantrums. I don't think he wants any of that or is okay with that behavior anymore. He knows it's not cute anymore, but he's not doing the work. Exactly. Like, I pray that he continues on the sober path. I pray more than anything, like addiction is so hard, but it's also very hard on the people that love you. And I don't think that he realizes all the damage that he's done to me over the years and why I can't look past and why I feel like he's the boy who cried wolf and why he needs to be an intensive

therapy. Yeah. Because those things will come with time. Once he learns more about himself and what makes him tick and really understand like he says, Oh, I have low self esteem or like in the modeling days, it was all this like external validation. If you were going to therapy because he says something, sorry, I'm a little over the place, but he says to Baskin, like he admits that he needs approval, right? That he needs attention and he's not comfortable being in his own skin.

It's hard for him to sit still with himself. I can really relate to the not being comfortable in your own skin and kind of needing something, whether it's a person or a drinking or whatever it is to make yourself not have to think about shit. I mean, I can relate to that too, but I don't treat the people in my life disrespectfully and horribly. 100%.

Exactly. So it's like, again, what I'm saying is like, feelings are valid. Actions related to those, not okay. Exactly. But in that same sentence, he says to Alex, what would you call the need for approval? He asks him that. Well, if you were going to therapy, you would be talking to your therapist about this. So that's what shows me right there.

This isn't even a conversation you've started having. Yeah. So start having that conversation because I think a lot of it could stem from being given external validation his whole life. You know, the modeling days, let's say, but even the whole show, that's been, this has been like 15 years of our lives almost. Yeah, exactly. That he's been given all this external validation. So now he's constantly seeking it.

And he was always forgiven too, because it was always like, that's just Jax. That's just Jax. That's just him. That's just him. And he was always forgiven. But now I have a beautiful boy in my life and I'm not letting that stuff fly anymore. I'm not ever again. And you know, you're so strong, Brittany, like you, holy shit. Thank you. I mean, this has been extremely hard because it's just like every single day it's the back and forth, the back and forth, the back and forth and the gaslighting and the manipulation and you know, I'm trying, how do you co-parent with somebody like that? Like how do you? And I feel like...

And you're navigating it the best you can right now, I think by unfortunately doing it by yourself for the most part. Yeah. Oh yeah. You know, he... Giving him as much as you trust him with. Yeah. Which is like the bare minimum right now.

And that sucks. But whatever. Like Cruz is literally the best thing that's ever happened to me. So I will do everything I possibly can. But it's just been hard because whenever these things come out so publicly and then I feel like I get shamed sometimes for having a reaction. And it's like, we are public figures. And also like, I know how many women and men who have been in a relationship with

somebody who is a narcissist or does struggle with addiction or, you know, is a gaslighter and a manipulator, like how many people can relate to what I've gone through. And I feel like it's only fair to speak about it since we have our lives on a reality TV show. Oh yeah. I mean, thousands and thousands of women are going to be listening to this and I hope can try to follow your lead and like knowing that their feelings of like trying, sticking around,

it doesn't make you a dumb person to stick around and try for your husband or your child's father. Like you tried and tried and tried, but also knowing how healthy it is to walk away when you need to and be strong for yourself. I mean, I'm so glad that I found the strength to walk away. That was like one of the hardest things I've ever had to do because it's so hard to leave somebody when you when you're still Love them, you know, like that's the hardest thing ever but Jack's his come downs were so incredibly horrible and now I can openly say like why I had to leave in the first place is because You know, he was just having these horrible come downs. He was going out more and more after the bar opened

he was just going out more and more and more. And he said himself that drinking and using cocaine went along with each other. So that meant I was dealing with these come downs almost four to five times a week and I couldn't handle it anymore. Whenever I had to move out the very first time, Kristen, we could finally talk about it.

I know. And so yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, like the stuff you've had to like kind of cover up or make excuses for. Yeah, because I couldn't say. I mean, cocaine is illegal. It's not like I could just be like, yeah, you know, my husband, no drugs. No. And I tried to get him to stop, especially after we had our son.

So for me, like, okay, so we and Kristen went out to dinner. This is before I moved into the first Airbnb and I'm glad I can finally talk about this. Me and Kristen went out to dinner. We were home by like nine. I put Cruz to bed. Me and Cruz were in bed together. Jax went out that night to wherever he went with some of his friends. He didn't come home till like four or five in the morning.

So he slept in the guest room. He runs into my room at 8 a.m. and screaming and just being horrible to me and making up stories about what me and Kristen did the night before. He did not want me to ever tell people what was going on in our relationship, so he knew whenever I was going out with my friends that I was venting to them. So he wakes up and makes up a whole story in his head and says that Luke texted him that Luke texted him that I had told Kristen that how bad I can't remember exactly what it was. I had told talking shit. Yeah, talking shit and being and you know, like Luke told me every Luke told me everything. It was a complete lie. It was a story he made up in his head.

Luke never had texted him about anything. They had it texted in like over a week or something. Me and Kristen just had a girls night dinner. I was home by nine o'clock and in bed with my son and he came in my room fighting in front of our son and I said enough, either you leave or I leave and he wouldn't leave. So I packed my bags and I left and I'm only telling the bare minimum. I mean, it's much worse than what I'm even saying what goes on behind closed doors I'm sure you can imagine is even worse, but that was like

That was what I dealt with almost every single day the come downs. He made up stories in his head Almost every single time and made everything so much worse And I was like no fight with someone who's like, who believes their lies. Yeah. And let's, Jax admits to being a liar, a pathological liar. So this isn't us just like, again, shaming someone who's coming out and trying to be sober after a serious addiction. Okay, guys.

But the pathological lying of it all, it's like he truly would say it so much, he would believe it and then lie upon lie upon lie where he could never backtrack because he didn't know where it even started. Yeah. And even to this day, he's still doing that. So this is why I'm having such a hard time. I hope he's sober. I pray that he is sober.

But the lying is still continuing. The gaslighting, the everything is still continuing. So yeah. So it's extremely hard. But yeah that everything is still continuing. So yeah, so it's it's extremely hard. But yeah, that's like the main reason I mean, not the only reason obviously, you know, I tried and tried and tried for years, but that was the last fight before I had to get into the Airbnb that very first one. Yeah, really in a lot. Yeah, don't got this is going to be a wild journey of the Valley Season 2. I'm just incredibly proud of you for how vulnerable you were. I mean, stripped naked vulnerable

you were this whole summer. And your anger and your strength and your heartbreak. Like you really did just live it out. And I can't imagine being such a strong mom and never wavering, but then also dealing with those emotions the way that you did. So like in such a healthy way. Thank you. Like seriously, Britt. I've been trying, you know, my best, like seriously.

It's just hard because I don't know, like what to do next. I really don't know because you're basically waiting for a curveball. Yeah, it's like he does good for a little bit and then a bomb blows up and everything gets bad again. And it's like over and over and over and over for 10 steps. Exactly. Like after he got out of rehab the first time, he was 30 days sober. And like, I was like, even while he was in rehab, I talked about it on my podcast with Alex Baskin.

He was sending me awful messages and you know, yelling at me on a daily basis. And I was like, I could just tell that it wasn't doing anything for him. And then he gets out of rehab and drinks within a week. Yeah. And I knew this all along. And it's like, this has just been awful for me. You know, I've been trying to figure out how to like navigate all this. I fuck there's no damp, there's no handbook. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's what I mean. That's why I'm just telling you like repeatedly how proud I am because thank you. You are like, it's not insane of you to be nervous about whether or not he's telling the truth or whether or not he's going to fault her again.

And that is something that Jax is going to just have to deal with because this is the mess he's created for himself. You can be proud of him for being sober right now and also be nervous about it. He has to be understanding because he admits to being like, I need this fixed right now person. Like, he needs everything this second. He's very impatient. I understand that, but that's something, one of the number one things he has to work on

is knowing that an I'm sorry or a quick change does not erase all of the damage that's been done. And that's going to take so much time. I think the one thing I always try to tell him, which I will keep repeating until I'm blue in the face, is every time he'll be like, well, Kristen, he'll even text me, you know, Kristen, I'm trying. I'm trying to be da-da-da-da. And I'm like, great, but you trying one, two, three, four, 10 times, it's not enough.

This has to be a constant way that you live your life now. Yeah, because every time... Whether or not she receives that from you or reciprocates, that's not why you're doing it. You need to do it just because. And I'm like, I always call it a trust bank because I think it's the easiest way for him to picture this in his mind. And men are kind of visual people, right? I always say, Jax, there's a trust bank right now. Your trust bank with Brittany is literally so like such a negative account. Yeah. Like negative. Keep on putting money in that bank to even get it to zero. Yeah. And then you can start building that bank account. There's no trust at all. And

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If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connexontario.ca. Just the constant truth. Yeah. Get this weight off your shoulder. I did want to talk about it because it is so public, obviously. And again, please know that I do want him to be sober and I do hope that it's true. And I do hope for nothing for our son that he is better. I cannot express that enough.

It's just his actions have not shown me yet. And it's hard for me to believe, but it's going to take a long time. Yeah, a very long time. And I think a lot of people are going through something like this will understand. Also, there's other things that he said on the podcast that I was like, Oh my God, like he had the audacity to say that I started talking to Julian before we separated on a public platform. That did not happen. Like come on. It was soon after we separated. He was my friend. Like it was like maybe I like a DM here like, ha ha or something. But like we were not talking until after the fact. So that kind of upset me too because I was like, you're really after all this, still

going to try to say that on a public platform? I get that you're hurt. His best friend, Julian. Oh, his best friend. Come on. Kristen, Kristen, can it please come from your mouth and set him on? Yeah. Okay. That is the part where I'm just like, okay, this is not Tom Schwartz. He actually, wait, what the fuck did he say? Sorry. He did say, uh, Tabaskin, he compared Sandoval and I to like Julian. He was like, oh, now I know

how Tom felt when I, and you know, I don't like bringing this up guys, but like he said like, you know, no, no, no, Tom felt no, no, no, homie. Not the same thing. No. And was just in the friend group. Yeah. You, Brittany were in fact better closer friends with him. Yeah. I remember every time you'd have a Halloween party or a Thanksgiving or whatever, you would always make bags for the kids, all the kids, like Ocean and Summer. And then you would give Julian, he would stop by and you'd be like, oh, here, give this to your kids. He was just a part of the group.

Yes. And yeah, was he bro-y with Jax? Did they go out and have drinks together in a group? Absolutely. This was not his best friend. No, not at all. Was he like pissed off? Like, oh my God, one of my buddies? Absolutely. But was he like, my best friend? That's my boy. No, dude. You don't have to make it bigger just to like

make it that it hurt you. Exactly. It could be a complete stranger and it can still hurt you. And that's another thing. He said he didn't care who it was. Well, whenever this guy, I'm not going to say his name, text me in his car, whenever this whole blow up happened again, it was a guy he's never met in his entire life. It didn't matter who it was. But he tried to act like it only mattered if it was Julian.

And I'm like, that is not true at all. And I'm so glad that I have you here to say that because I'm sick of it being like, that was my best friend. No, it wasn't. Yeah. No, it wasn't. And after everything you put me through, boo hoo. You know, like my God.

I remember when that first first came out and remember all the I think I showed you one or two but people on the internet were like, if he had a brother, I hope he goes after him. I mean, people just have your back. No, and that's another thing. People I think so many people have seen through the bullshit and seen through everything and I really appreciate that. Like, like it means the world to me.

And like I said, we just try to be as open as we can doing what we do because hopefully at the end of the day, it will help somebody else get out of a toxic relationship or help them be strong and going through something like this. Especially all the mamas out there. I really think you are like someone to really look up to. Like I'm in a healthy relationship, but as a mom-to-be, watching the way you are with Cruz and just

watching you do this by yourself a lot of the time is just really incredible. Thank you. And it makes me a lot less scared. Yeah. You're going to be great. I'm excited. I'm all the things, but I'd be fucking lying if I didn't say there are days where I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Like I know I'm old enough and I should be really good at this, but I'm nervous.

Right. And then I watch you with crews and watch you balance all of the work that you have and all the opportunities you don't say no to. You're like, I can do it. I can do it. Taking care of like your litter of animals You know what I mean and still taking helping take care of like your family being there for all your friends in LA and in Kentucky, thank you and raising Cruz and going to all of his appointments and

Watching this the healthiest happiest little boy Thanks, like you would never know. know that you were going through this also. Thank you so much. So I think you're helping a lot of moms out there. Cruz is definitely my driving force. Like from getting out of the relationship, from staying strong here on out, from trying to set these boundaries, you know, moving forward through the divorce, like everything. Like Cruz is my driving force because he deserves to see a mom that's happy.

Yeah. And you hear him in the background probably just playing, jumping around at the back. But you know, he deserves to have a dad that's happy. Exactly. And that is the whole reason like, could you imagine if I didn't, I don't want to cry, but like, I thought I was going to lose Jax for a while, meaning like, who knows if I was going to go into a bathroom, he was going to be laying on the floor, you know, because he got so things have been bad. Obviously, while I had to leave in the first place, but after our separation, things really did get worse.

And if I didn't get production involved, and if I didn't get his sister involved, and Ryan and Lori involved, like he would have never went to rehab in the first place. And I can proudly say that I did that because I loved him and I didn't want him to die. And my son does not deserve that. I think he's so angry at me for making him go in the first place. I think as most people are that go in not on their own choice. I definitely have friends who have gone into facilities before. Yeah. And it's been not by court order, but it's been by like friends and family. Yeah. And they're always pissed off to begin with.

Yes. Yes. Because he always used to shame me. Yeah. He always used to be like, how dare you tell people about this? How dare you do this? And I was like, I can't handle it anymore. Right. I was scared like the secret and try by was scared. I tried but I couldn't do it by myself anymore. I had to get everybody involved and thank God I did and I will never regret that situation because me and my son deserve that. Cruz is crawling up on my lap. So there's just been a lot that I wanted to get off my chest and I hope that people understand that I'm trying to navigate this the best that I can, you know, it's just

been it's just been a hard journey and I just hope it starts getting better. Yeah, I see the want for growth. I see the want for growth for him. And I see that too. I see the first for growth from him. And I see that too. I see the first steps. First steps. I said the admitting of it. Exactly.

I can't imagine what it felt like to say that out loud in any capacity, let alone in front of other people and for other people to hear it. However, I want to see the change. Exactly. And I want him to actually do the work. Yeah, exactly. And that's what I want more than

anything. Doing the work and admitting to a therapist. Because I don't want to have actually do and not telling that therapist what they want to hear. Exactly. Yeah. And I don't because I don't want to be this person that's like, Oh, he only did this because you know, he knows the valley's coming out and he knows how horrible he's going to look. Oh, he only does because he had to go where he was going to lose his job. But like that's the reality of my life right now. And I want this to be better for him. I want it to work out for him.

But even supposedly sober for 70, I don't know how many days it's been since Thanksgiving, his actions just still. It's still the anger and lack of self-control. Yeah, it's still that. And I feel like even sober, he's still is going to have a lot of things to work on. I have a lot of things to work on. I'm not saying I don't. Like we, I'm going to have to go to therapy and do all kinds of things to get over everything

I've been through. To heal. To heal. It's because it's been a lot. So I'm not trying to always doubt him, once you've been understand. Yeah, I think everyone Absolutely under yeah Like that you you're like, I don't want to be the fool again Yeah, like fool me once, you know shame on you fool me twice shame on me

Yeah, the thing and you don't want to keep being lied to and keep being disappointed and keep being hurt by the lies. Yeah. So now I have like a huge, yeah, now I have a huge guard up and like the walls are all around me and like I don't know if I can let him in again. And takes time. Yeah. I mean, the thing is to, he's a, we'll never be back together.

I don't mean it like that. Forever. Yeah. Because of your son. Yeah. But I have to protect him first and foremost So that's like the biggest thing and I'm trying my best. It's just There's just so I mean I've got like so many I don't even feel like I need to go through every single law that he told the 31 lies and I have 31 lies written down that he told on

Alex's podcast. So, oh, like I've never, like he says, going to AA meetings. I don't know that he's ever been to an AA meeting. I wish that he would. It's just, you know, all this is just like a lot. You know, but gosh, I just hope, I really hope and pray that he will continue to keep trying. You're doing everything exactly right for you and for Cruz.

And you deserve happiness. You deserve to be able to wake up in the morning and not have rage texts on your phone. Exactly. And you deserve to go on a date if you want to or go out with your friends because you have a nanny that can watch cruise at night. You deserve to like be home with your son and watch movies all night if you want and not have him to have Jax like texting you and questioning what I'm doing 24 seven. And like, you deserve to not have to look over your shoulder.

Exactly. I've seen a lot of people being like, you know what? The world owes Brittany an apology because Jack's all last season tried to make it out like she had an issue whenever he was actually, you know, snorting stuff in the bathroom. And it's like, thank you. Thank you because- I forgot how bad he was trying to shame you. He was trying to shame me. And make you out to be some like, someone with like an alcohol issue.

And I was getting comments and stuff like, yeah, I love to go out with my friends and like take shots and stuff because that tequila is the only thing I can actually drink. But like I'm a social drinker. I don't sit at my house every day and drink with my like, are you kidding me? I have a son to take care of. Like that is not what I do. But he tried to portray me like that whenever the entire time he has been doing all of these things. And I never, because we were married and he was my husband, did I ever turn around and say, look what you're doing. Look what you've done to me. Look what you are doing. Or publicly, especially publicly. You protected him. Yes. And it's just like, my God, like he projected his issues on me so much.

And I'm so glad that I'm finally passed the part where like I have to think like, because I used to think like, Oh my God, what am I doing wrong? You know, I used to put myself down a lot and like really take in the words that he said, like they were factual. When in reality, I knew he was just projecting his own insecurities on me. And that is so difficult to like admit. That is the biggest difference between you now and you a few years ago. Yeah. Was you know your worth. You don't, you refuse to hear him spew this like venom. Not happening

anymore. No. And he used to, I'm not gonna say the things that he would say, but he would put you, I mean you said it correctly, he would put you down and he would insult you or your body and things like that. Yeah, lost all my confidence. Yeah, and it was like, if you tell a kid they're stupid over and over and over,

the kid starts believing they're stupid. Exactly. And it was like, you literally started believing that stuff. Yeah. And no matter how much we all told you, you're so beautiful, you're amazing, you're this, you had to like do it for you and pull yourself kind of out of it. And now like, that's why I'm excited for everyone to watch this season is like to see your resilience and watch you like, watch your fucking glow up.

Thank you. She glowed up. Thank you. She got up. Got her groove back. It's just like, you know, I used to get sick a lot. I used to break out and have a lot because I dealt with stress on every single daily basis. And I'm going through a lot right now in my life. But for some reason, I don't break out and have it anymore. And I'm not sick anymore. And even though I'm going through all this stress, it's because I don't have that stress

in my everyday life anymore. And that like, that tells its own story. Do you know what I mean? It's crazy. It's crazy. But you know, I am very proud of myself and I will never let a man treat me that way ever again. Like that's not happening.

So I've learned a lot from this. And again, me and Kristen both hope that, you know, Jackson become a better person. I'm not trying to shame him. I'm honestly just trying to speak my truth because it's not fair for him to say his supposed truth and half of the stuff he says are lies. And like I said, I've got 31 points that I could say and go through even more. But I think that we hit a bunch of them. Let's switch it for a second because I want to get into a positive at the end. I asked all my guests because this is basically when reality hits. So Kristen, if you can be on any other reality TV show, what would it be and why? Traders.

Traders. Yeah, you could be good at that. I now am like obsessed with it. Oh my God. I watched the finale last night. I haven't watched the reunion yet. I fell asleep. Luke finished it. I really fell in love with that show.

But I know, I mean, trust me, I would campaign for myself. I've already mentioned it to our manager, but I'm about to have a baby. I hope the show stays on for years. So you can do like a couple of years. Yeah. Like I can't imagine, but that's, I never thought it would be that one ever. Oh, I love it. That's the one. Okay. So other last question. If you had to list your favorite reality star right now, who would it be? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay. Oh, so. Oh my God, I don't know. Because on Traders, like, obviously, I love Dylan Efron because he just, he's so fucking smart and he just knew it. I loved Gabby Wendy. And she just got married. Congratulations, Gabby. Oh my God, so excited. The cast was just fantastic. But then if I get away from Traders for a

minute, I love Molly on Southern Charm. Like I said, I just started watching Southern Charm the new season and I'm like, girl, you want to come on to a crossover? Because I want to be friends with her. She is a fun. Oh good. I haven't watched the recent and I love Boston. I love Boston Rob on everything. I saw him on dealer no deal Island, then on traders. And now Luke and Luke has me going back to the early survivors when he was Rob was like in his early thirties and like rewatching all of those. Oh, I love it. Well, I love you, Kristen. Thank you so much for being on this hard episode, but it was very important.

This podcast is turning a new leaf, girl. Yes. So win reality hits with Brittany Cartwright. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Doty and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke double underscore Broderick. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes. Thanks for listening. See you next week. Okay, let me ask you this. Ever had this conversation? You meet someone, they ask, hey, how you doing? And without thinking, you just say, I'm good, you.

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