Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - It All Happened – Last Night on VPR S11 E11

Episode Date: April 11, 2024

Episode 102. In this episode, Kristen and Luke recap Vanderpump Rules Season 11 Episode 11, “May the Best Woman Win”. Sponsors: Go to Addyi.com and use code DOUTE for a $10 telemedicine appointment Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter promo code Doute Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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May the best woman win. Oh man, babe, you don't sound too enthusiastic at the moment. I know, I'm sorry you guys. I have a really sick baby, Cheagle at home. Bowie has kidney failure and it is he's he's been sick for a while, but we've just been hitting a lot of lows this week. So it's been a tough morning, but I will try to be a slightly more enthusiastic.

I will try to make up for it. Thank you, Luke. Extra enthusiasm. Okay. But I feel like, you know how we call this, this like recap episode we call it all happened. I literally I think I wrote down 17 times. What is happening this whole episode? I was like, what is happening right now? What is happening? Oh my god. Oh my god. What is happening? It just moved so fast There's so much going on It did move so fast It was hard to keep up with.

The episode picks up exactly where it left off the previous one. We are still at the beach. Beach day from hell. Yeah, exactly. Almost immediately, the Toms get up and leave, Schwartz is trying to play. All right, let's try to keep things from heating up anymore. Grab sand and ball and let's go to the bar. No, but even before that, because it did pick up from last week, but it was like, I don't know

I was just kind of like Brock, Sheena, Lala, like, you know how Ariana feels so like what did you expect was going to happen. It's like I feel like I'm a broken record just saying like let Ariana feel her feelings right now and just let her figure out what that timeline looks for her. But then Sandoval had to engage and kind of like talk a little bit of shit about her and no one's like telling him to like stop. And I don't know, it just frustrated me. And obviously then like he and Schwartz like walk away. But just that those moments, those little moments before it's like you had to get the last word and you couldn't just walk away. I don't know, it frustrated me and I felt like,

I don't know, this is how I felt about Lala this whole episode. In one sense, I think Lala was kind of taking one for the team by being a producer's dream. Like she was doing the things that probably no one else really wanted to do or say in order to tell the story, right? But at the same time, if you're supposed to be Ariana's friend, stop challenging her.

Like you don't have to be the producer. That's how it felt to me. Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm getting this overwhelming vibe from the whole group that's like, we don't wanna draw the line hard on Sandoval anymore. And I think that's what it's coming down to, but it's like, do you need to bring the hammer down

on Ariana at the same time? Or just let her do her thing? You know, like, does this, obviously this does have to be forced to make a TV show, but the conversations have to happen and I mean be kind of boring if everyone was just like kumbaya Kumbaya that how the song everyone's I don't know Anyway, so yeah, so Tom Tom we're at the bar

I don't know in this whole like week this this conversation About like all the money stuff. I did this and I did that and the batteries and the coffee and the Lightbulbs, whatever. It's just so gross. I was just so grossed out I was like cringing the entire time like what are you trying to prove? I agree. There's nothing to be gained at that point I'm gonna get some hate for this, but my brain works to some degree like Tom does at that. If you're saying dog ownership, 100% I'm saying they're absolutely Ariane's dogs. But then to come back like this is not the way to do it at all. But my mind would have made the same connection he did. I probably

would have bit my tongue a little more as far as like- I just feel like he's telling this to Schwartz, which how many times do you think Schwartz has heard Sandoval say stuff like this, right? I mean, we've all heard it as viewers. I've heard it as someone who used to date Sandoval, someone who was his friend for a bit. Like, Schwartz knows this. In my personal opinion, the only reason Sandoval's doing this is because he wants the viewers. He wants someone to hold on to that like a tiny little grain of salt and be like oh like as if it's going to change a viewer's mind about how they feel about Tom and Ariana's breakup because Santa wants to brag that he like bought groceries or something. I don't know. I just thought it was really weird. Yeah it's odd but moving on from

that because I yeah don't have much more to say but Sheena wanting to play matchmaker here starts this whole, gets the snowball rolling with Tori. Oh man. I love Tori. Tori, we love you so much. This is absolutely fucking hysterical though. This whole, I don't know what's going on. What is happening? That's what I'm gonna keep saying.

What is happening? And then yeah, Katie's like, I mean, Tori should date me instead. And Sheena's whole like all is fair and love and war. Oh my god. Yeah. So What do you think of the phone call? When Katie from the beach calls for us to be like, hey, you left your stuff here. Yeah, she's like, Tom, you left your stuff. And he was like, oh, oh shit. Okay, yeah, thanks. Thanks, Bubba. Thanks for grabbing it. She's like, I'm just saying it's here.

She hangs up on him. Yeah, that was kind of funny. Those two, they're interesting. The way this all develops with Schwartz and Katie and Tori is it's got me interested. It's like, what the hell is happening? It could only happen with those two. Like it's the only couple that, or a previous former couple that could try to get with the same person.

Like have a dick measuring contest. Do you agree? Yeah. They're totally having a dick measuring contest. And Katie's like, my dick is bigger. I'm going to win. And I mean, I wouldn't fight Katie for a girl. So Katie's living her best life right now. But yeah, it was so weird.

And it's like, there were just like we said at the beginning, like a lot of like weird, quick moments. But it's like, I don't know. Sandoval, like this little quick moment and making sure that they're showing like Sandoval's going to this random table of like younger women to like buy drinks for that it's just also awkward it's just all fucking awkward and maybe that's the point like how do these late 30 40 something year olds date young people? Wait, Tory comes up behind

Schwartz talking to the girls. Right, pretending to be his girlfriend, which is so funny. And then she's like, so are you gonna take me on a date? He's like laughing awkwardly, like, uh, yeah, is that what you want? She's just so cute. Yeah, but I love that she goes, he was like, oh, you want a drink?

She's like, yeah, what do I drink? I forget what he said. And she just looks at him like, ugh, like you're so below me, like, but still being cute and funny about it. And he's like, Oh, oh, champagne, champagne, you drink champagne. And you have like this young, cute little Tory just schooling Tom. Like you do not know how to date a chick or pick up a chick.

Let me help you. Um, yeah. And then she goes, are you going to ask, you know, what she said was, are you going to ask me on a date? Are you just going to text me fire emojis? Such a good line. I mean, I think it's, that's probably pretty true for a lot of girls that are into guys,

don't know if they are gonna step up and be a man about it. Totally, but then Katie comes over and joins and I was just cracking the hell up. Like I was laughing so hard in this moment, like Katie just totally cock blocking her ex-husband I was just cracking the hell up. I was laughing so hard in this moment. Katie just totally cock blocking her ex-husband and she was like, what?

He should try harder. Yeah, not just cock blocking. I mean, she obviously, I think as a parent to everyone, she was way smoother about everything, goes in for the kiss, like the two of them making out over there. Clearly she's making a statement here. Oh my God, hell yeah, go Katie.

I loved every second of it. It just made me giggle. Like I was just giggling nonstop. And then instead of Schwartz like, you know, doing anything about it, it's like this awkwardness of like, what do you do? And he's like, I'm just going to walk away then. Poor Tommy Tom. Yeah, I think as far as fair play goes inside the group, Katie's pushing the limits a little bit. I mean, to call it tit for tat with his fake make out with Raquel last season, and then banging Max and stealing a girl right off of Underem, she's on the offensive for sure.

Oh, man. Well, then we have this pretty emotional, very emotional moment between Lala, Ariana and Sheena. And you know, the girls are trying to get her to understand where they're coming from is to, they don't want her to be angry because it's like unhealthy for her. And Ariana very much admits like she breaks down a little bit and says that she knows that the anger is unhealthy. And that she didn't do anything to Tom. That's the whole thing. She's just like, I didn't do anything to him. Why do I have to keep being around him after what he did to me?

Which I agree. Why do you feel? Yeah, I feel her big time. I don't... Because I know you're a T Sandy fan throughout this and I know not necessarily in their relationship, but I don't know. I feel like you've changed your mind a lot, which is okay, but I'm curious, what are you feeling right now watching this?

Do you think they're pushing her too hard? Yeah, absolutely. I think they are. Want to say something that we're not supposed to say that breaks the fourth wall a little too hard, but ultimately that, yeah, 100%. Real life, she is getting pushed too hard too quick. And I don't believe that there is a real life situation where anybody actually has to go through this.

I agree with you. Yeah. I mean, that's something about doing reality TV that is like a blessing and a curse. And is that sometimes these conversations that you would not normally have because you don't want to or you're not ready for them, and it can, they happen anyway, right? And at times it can be healing to not sweep things under the rug and know that you need to confront these situations. But then on the other end of that,

it can also be really unhealthy to push someone to have a conversation they're not ready to have, you know? Absolutely, people need time to simmer down. Like, at least with my friends, the way I've grown up and everyone I've known in my 32 years, like, it's not like we have to talk about this tomorrow when we have a disagreement on something or something happens, there's a falling out. It's like you come back together or you don't is essentially

how it is. And normally there's weeks or months in between if it's something that was really hurtful, not like get after it now. And also when you're still in a really shitty situation, like the fact that they're still cohabitating is It's just it's just a really wild ass situation. Yeah, it's fucking messy and there's no therapist in their right mind That would be like I think this is healthy. Why don't you just drag it out of her guys? Yeah, totally 100% could not agree more and Ariana said, you know Something that she said that really resonated with me was like about wanting to keep her armor up because it was such a traumatic ordeal

that happened to her and in her life. And I thought that was really telling, you know, I was thinking about it like resonated with me because I was like, man, I wish I could keep my armor up sometimes and not be so hard on my sleeve all the time. It'd probably be a little better off. It's definitely, I'm not going to call it a flaw, but an area for improvement. Thanks honey. I really appreciate that.

Oh, I mean. Get emotional and very into a situation and lose sight of the bigger picture at times. Yes, for sure. Yeah. So now at this point, basically where we're at is like Tom and Katie are both going to have a date with Tori at some point is what it sounds like right now. So let's see how that goes further on. Addie. Ladies, did you know that one of the most common complaints from women about their sexual

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So we have Joe and Lala. I was not expecting this. I was so like, what the fuck is happening right now? That was super weird. I was not expecting to see the two of them filming alone together, hanging out alone together, being alone together ever. But this is why I was saying in the beginning

of our episode is that this is why I feel like Lala's, I mean, it's so tough. She's like a producer's dream. Do you think she really wanted to have this conversation with Joe? Probably not, but she did it anyway, I guess, for the sake of telling this story. But it's just weird. I was just like, what is happening here?

And then Joe's like, you know, thank you for coming here. Like she texts Lala to ask her to hang out with her, I guess, shorts with the middle man or something. But Lala is being soft with her and that she mentions at the Hotel Ziggy, you know, she saw Joe from afar and noticed that Joe was like, not okay. And this is where I really started getting thrown through a loop. And I want to know how you feel. But Joe responds with like, I don't know if she says this to Lala or if she said this in her interview bite, but she said that she wants to be welcomed into the group if she's going to be in Tom's life forever.

And I was like, huh. And Lala, yeah, it was in her interview bite because she said Lala is the ticket to that. And I was like, what? It rubbed me the wrong way. Yeah, I guess Lala and Schwartz are so tight that if Joe and Lala can't get along, then Joe can have her segue into the group.

And this is the sliver of hope Joe has that she and Tom can be together. It is weird though. I don't know. It is a little weird. Little T Money and Joseph. T Money and Joseph, yeah. Like that was just so wild. But then also when Joe was saying, like when she was hanging out with like Raquel and Tom and Tom she was only focused on Schwartz during that time and that she'd only hung out with them in her words a couple of times. I know that that's a lie. I know for a fact that's a lie because I've seen people seen them out they all went to Big Bear together.

Joe was hanging out at Ariana and Tom's house during Thanksgiving when he was cheating on Ariana with Raquel. So like if you know tell the truth or don't tell the truth at all, I guess, this half truth thing is just going to get you in more hot water, especially with this group. And then honestly, they skip over to Topgolf and I was, Luke, I was so like twisted around and slightly disturbed about the scene prior at the hot dog place that I really wasn't paying attention to Topgolf. I was still trying to like wrap my brain around what was happening with Joe and Lala and I'm still reeling from it. It was a quick weird transition, like unrelated story that was, I don't know, it just it threw me for a loop too.

I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, something else is happening real quick. You know, it didn't seem like the transition was super smooth, but that top golf, obviously, it's Katie Alley, Ariana and James, they all have terrible golf swings. Of course, that's all you're looking at too, I know it. They're talking about Katie versus Schwartz and this whole fight for Tori is essentially

the start of the conversation here. And they think it's as funny as we do. Of course, because it is hilarious and it's amazing and Tori's just the best. Then they introduce, sorry, you got to bring this up, they've introduced the paintball that James was invited to by Tom Sandoval. Yes. We're going to get to later on. But yeah, that's about it.

I got to say about the Topgolf. Yeah, it was just like sort of this weird like transition scene because again, like I've just, it's like by the time we got to the Joe Lala thing, I was still thinking about the scene before and then we get to Topgolf and I'm still thinking about the Joe Lala thing and just trying to wrap my head around it all. So maybe just too fast moving for me. That's fair. I'm going through a lot this week. So again, another little quick scene. I don't want to skate by it just because I felt like it was important sort of just hearing Ariana talk about, you know, she's talking

to Katie about her conversation with Lala and Sheena. And I was just really feeling for Ariana in this moment because, and I'm sure a lot of people out there, Luca, I'm sure you've probably been through this too, anyone who's been in a long relationship, there are things about the person who are like quirky and cute and this and that, whatever. And then, you know, when you're at the demise of the relationship or you're broken up, those things are just annoying as hell.

And it's like all those stupid little dumb jokes and that Tom tells like 85 times, it's like they're not cute anymore they're just everything annoys the fuck out of Ariana right now it like doesn't matter what he were to say you know but I like that we're finally talking to Ariana about the house and her wanting to move out and actually like get a house of her own which we now know she has done thank God so congrats Ariana on that but I really felt for her as well when she was saying

that it's like, obviously, that house was her dream home. And it was she explained that before to Lala and Sheena. It was her dream home. It's like a lot to give up on. And I think that was like lying in her frustration and her hurt, which then was kind of turning to hate toward Tom. But now I think she's settling into the idea what we're watching of like, it's going to be okay, and she'll get to have a house all to herself. And she says, no one is mine and no one can take it from me. Exactly. Yeah. And that's essentially what Lala says that the sperm donor is the emotional thing. Right. Exact same thing. Yeah. Because Lala has been through some serious trauma with the roach who we don't name and

Dealing with custody battles over ocean and you know Lala and I are not friends But she is an amazing mother and I cannot imagine the strength that it takes to be a mom like that And you know, right? Yeah with everything she has going on all our businesses and everything being a mom It's still dealing with the stress the regular stress of Roach custody. Yeah, with everything she has going on all our businesses and everything being a mom and still dealing with the stress the regular stress of Roach custody. Yeah, totally. Yeah, but yeah, so now we're you know segue into the sperm donor place The I thought this was so fascinating like hearing them talk about like the candidates that get to Donate sperm and like cuz Lala said like it's just gonna be a bunch of people who wanted to get paid or like what kind of things that kind of

testing do they go through and how do you vet them out essentially I thought it was really crazy where they store the sperm like they look like giant kegs or something or like giant stainless steel like wine barrels with like dry ice coming out of them it was just so wild it's something I've never thought about before like where do they store it and like how do they vet these people and With like dry ice coming out of them. It was just so wild. It's something I've never thought about before. Like where do they store it and like how do they vet these people? Well, I have a sperm donor story. I don't know if I've told you this.

Do tell. In college, I applied to become a sperm donor because I met certain basic criteria just to get like into the screening stage. There was like a high in athleticism, health, blah, blah, blah, certain things they wanted to try to, you know, anyway. I love that you said athleticism second. You're like in the height, athleticism. You're so cute.

I swear there was something to that effect of being like a healthy individual. Like, right. I'm just messing with you. Is he good at golf? Right. Right. How, what's his handicap? That's what we need to know. Okay, so what ended up happening? I go and make my initial donation that they have to analyze the

sperm to see if you qualify. I've qualified through everything else, genetic history, etc. And what I donated the sperm, supposed to hear back in three to five business days, after a week, I call back, the line's disconnected. I drive back by the place, it's out of business. What? They took my sperm and disappeared. What the fuck? Okay, I'm not going to lie just so everyone doesn't think that I don't know things like

this about my boyfriend. I did know that you went through that, but I don't remember you telling me or I didn't know that the place closed down and they just took your sperm and ran. So you could have a freaking baby out there somewhere. I mean, I guess technically, but there was no data. The website just disappeared. This cryobank in Indianapolis just apparently went under days after I did that and then shut down the building.

It was super weird. One of the weirdest things that's happened in my life. Oh my God, yeah, if you weren't so young, you would have probably done something about it at that point, but now I wanna like look them up and figure out what happened to your spermies. Yeah, I was 21 or 22, and I'm pretty sure the business or the company was called California Cryobank,

and they had an office in Indianapolis, and that office happened to close down right after I went in. Holy shit. That's so weird, dude. We'll have to look that up and we'll update you guys on what happened to Luke's spermies because mama needs that. Just kidding. That shit's long gone. But I do, I also love when Lala was explaining about, which I do remember her telling me about this before she actually got pregnant a while back, that she wanted to have a love party because her daughter was conceived with love with at the time,

you know, Lala and Ocean's dad were in love and she was like, well, I want to bring my next baby into this world with love. So let's have a love party. And I was like, that's really sweet. That's cute. I know, made me really happy. All right. We see cute. I know. It made me really happy. All right. We see our friend Lena next. And then Hair Boss Hollywood. What's up?

Guys, that's where I get my tracks done, my weave, my extensions, and my color and everything else. Lena, shout out. I love you so much. Everyone go follow her on social media because she's my busty. She was my very first roommate in LA. And then we actually lived together again years and years later around the block from Ariana, but I wasn't even friends with Ariana.

How weird is that? That is odd. LA is such a small world. So Joe and Tom, Tom tells Joe that he went on a date while she's bleaching his hair, something I definitely would not do. I would not be pissing off the person with bleach in their hand with my head. This whole situation, I was just on edge. I was like kind of cringy the whole time. Like, Oh, no, yeah, I get to see this

process. He and he tells, then he tells Joe about playing tongue hockey with Tori. And that Katie is on a date with Tori. And then he's going on a date with Tori. And it's just like, what is happening? Like Schwartz? you know what's going on, but we do see him later, you know, set some boundaries, which I was happy to see because otherwise I was starting to get a little like, Tom, you're asking for this.

So we go to Katie and Tory's paint and sip date at Katie's and simultaneously Schwartz is talking about this singles party at the Mondrian. And that's what he's doing later. And Joe's like, oh, great. I'll come. And I'm like, oh, god. Oh, god.

I'm so physically uncomfortable right now. What are you doing? Read the room. That's the thing with Joe. Read the room. You can still be yourself. Fuck people if they don't like who you are or love you for you. Then find a different group of friends. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I get it. But you gotta read the room.

What you know Schwartz and what is he gonna go? No, you can't come. Schwartz would never say that. So he's like, yeah, sure. Right. Exactly. Well, he didn't want to. You can see that on his face. Cringe. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you can can call him. Yeah. Yeah. Just inviting yourself. There's times when it's okay and there's times when, yeah, you got to read the room. Yeah. And I want to say on Lena's behalf and regarding to the whole hair bleaching thing, this is me fully defending Lena and what an amazing stylist and salon owner she is. You guys, there's only like X amount of time to be filming somewhere. And Tom's hair did not look great when this scene ended.

He did end up going back and getting it toned and it looked amazing while he was blonde. I just had to say that because I felt really bad. James makes a comment about the blonde hair saying it's like, he's just finding a shade to cover his grays. And apparently this one's gonna be the best. I don't know if that's true or not. I'm not one to try to cover my grays. Yeah, we don't have any.

I can't speak to that. So, Tori and Katie's date is at Katie's apartment right down the hallway. Yeah. And they're doing a kind of a painting thing. A paint and sip. Have you ever been to a paint and sip? I have not.

Oh, it's pretty fun. You go and paint and you sip. It's a really good time. Maybe I'll set that up for next week. Yeah, and I just love just hearing Katie talk about her date and she goes, you know, Tequila Katie's a hoe. I was like, ugh, like in the best way. I love when Katie just owns this single Katie, you phase, but moment of her life. So the girls are all getting together for girls night, right?

Did you catch where that was? I did not see the bar or any location like that. That was at Foxfire. What? Yes, it was at Foxfire, our little tiny valley dive bar. They made it look so glamorous. And huge. I mean, they made it look way bigger than that.

I did not catch that at all. Yeah, that's our local watering hole, guys. It's literally like this kind of 80s pub, like not like 80s decor, meaning, but like actually from like the late 80s or something like that. And it's a really tiny little dive bar in the valley with like two dartboards and a few tables,

but they made it look really awesome. Yeah, it's, it's an awesome place. I've been there more times than all the other bars in LA combined, I'd say. Yeah, it's pretty cool spot. But so yeah, obviously they talk about Katie's date and then things start to get heated when Lala brings up her meeting with Joe in front of the hot dog stand and that upsets Katie for some reason. Yeah. Uh, I mean, I get it. I don't know. meeting with Joe in front of the hot dog stand and that upsets Katie for some reason.

Yeah. I mean, I get it. I don't know. It's just that should it piss Katie off? Should it annoy her? Everyone can have an opinion about shoulda, coulda, whata, right? Like what they think Katie should feel. But at the end of the day, like we all, and everyone in this group for the most part, like has feelings about things that other people find ridiculous. And I think if they just start allowing each other to feel their own feelings, it doesn't mean you have to deal with it, but everyone's always telling someone else

they shouldn't feel like this or they need to move on from that. And then that same person who's dishing it can't take it when people say, well, maybe you should get over XYZ. I think everyone just needs to like mind their business a little bit. But Lala says, you know, that she's just feeling really soft right now. And that's why Tom Schwartz felt, you know, confident in asking Lala to go meet up with Joe. And I just I'm with Katie on this about consistency. Like, just be consistent. Stop doing this flip flop thing. Like you feel this way about her. You're basically you have like Lala kind of joining in on the

mean girl thing at Hotel Ziggy and then being like, oh, I feel really bad for her. So it's like, well, which one is it? And I don't want them to be bullies, of course. And maybe Lala did have like a come to Jesus moment and realized that she wasn't being very nice. But Katie also has like personal reasons at this moment anyway, like why she felt the way she felt about Joe. And I think people just need to allow Katie to feel how she feels. And they also really love to spring shit on each other. Like, hey, by the way. From my perspective, I saw it seemed to me Katie was making a mountain out of a mole hill, like getting so upset about that while she's actively

pursuing the girl who was coming on to her ex-husband and just fucked his best friend and she's going to get pissed off that like literally she just did these things and now she's going to get pissed off at somebody because they had a conversation with her. I'm sorry that's ridiculous. That's just come on. Okay I mean when you say it like that I don't think you're wrong either. I'm just saying I understand getting blindsided and heated about something where you kind of thought you knew where a friend of yours stood. And then they just kind of go, Oh, by the way, I went and had a hot dog with her and we were chatting away. Also, I think there's the topic of conversation

at all. I understand that. I guess I'm also thinking like, hey, I just gave this girl you can't stand some more camera time and allowed her to be a part of this group. I don't know. But I feel you're, I see what you're saying too. I feel the feelings, you're logical. That's the difference. OK, you want to go to the singles, Jordi?

Yeah. Oh, boy. I don't know. Okay, you want to go to the singles, Jordi? Yeah. Oh, boy. I don't know. This is so weird when they're all like kind of sitting at that table and Tom is talking about how he went on a date with Tori and then Joe's like, she's weird. And then all I can do is stare at Kyle Chan's face the whole time. All of his facial expressions just like, this is awkward, this is uncomfortable.

What did you say? Like all these different ranges of emotion that I was feeling were being displayed onto Kyle Chan's face. And then also, I don't know, Joe just like constantly touching Tom's hair and like messing with it nonstop. I was just like, oh my God, stop. I can't even focus right now. My ADHD is like going crazy because I'm trying to hear their words and all I can see is her

hand in the hair. Like, just relax. I felt that same thing too. I can't recall exactly what was said until Schwartz was like, okay, like enough. Like you'll leave my hair alone. Yeah, seriously. Oh, this is the whole thing. I mean, who goes to a singles party and they have these, we called it a stoplight party

back in college where you have red, yellow or green. And you just wear the color. Okay, do you wanna explain it to me? Because I've never been to a party like this. I only dated people that I knew until you. Okay, right. So stoplight party, it's like a stoplight, red, green and yellow.

And if you wear green, you're single, 100% rate of mingle. Yellow, it's maybe a little complicated, but you're not taken. You wear red, you are taken. You are there to have fun, but not interested in anyone that's single. Or to be like a wingman or something.

Right, exactly. So it's kind of like that Brazilian steakhouse where they had the coaster where it was like, keep feeding me, I'm done. Yeah, exactly. But this is like, keep feeding me dates, and then you're like, I'm over it. Or like, I don't want to right

I just don't think they had a coaster in this situation. You start with a wristband and you stuck with it I'm just saying singles party Brazilian steakhouse same shit exactly and man doesn't take long till someone wants to make out with Shorts, oh my god Is this how they go to do people just walk up to other people and just start making out and be like, hey, I want to make out with you? Because that just threw me a little bit. Not in my experience, not in college and definitely not early on. Later on when some people have left the party, you've got people making out in every corner

for sure. Because everyone's kind of fucked up or whatever. Yeah, mingled, but maybe it's just shorts and make out slut. That's true. Self-proclaimed, so we're not talking shit. But then the girl was like, put your hat on my head. Put your hat on my head. Like she's trying to be this like dominant

and shorts is like her little sub. And he's like, okay, but can I have a bat? Because like it's really sentimental. And then it's like 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. He's like, oh, you could just have it. I have a bunch of them in my storage unit. Like Tom grow a pair of balls. Don't let this random chick take your fucking hat.

Yeah, that's, that's just weird to me. That would put me off. I was in a single situation, a girl being that forward that early. I don't know. To me, that's a flag to me. Huge fucking red flag. Like, Whoa, calm your titties girlfriend. But good for her. But he decided to let Joe come. He could have said, no, I want to just go with my friends tonight. Like, not you. I'm sorry. And instead, he makes this really uncomfortable situation more uncomfortable. It's like not his fault completely because Joe's not reading the room

when it comes to Schwartz's choices, you know, but at the same time, like, eek. Yeah, I don't know how many signs someone needs to be like, oh, this is probably just going to get me hurt as far as the knowing it's a singles party and inviting yourself to go with Schwartz and the guys one, then two, when the wristbands come out and everyone wants a green one, right? It's like, okay, Tom is declaring himself single and they both are like, yeah, yeah, we're both single.

They say that, it's like, oh man, this is setting yourself up to get hurt. And of course she does get hurt. She sees him making out, which should have been expected that claiming you're single, he's gonna make out with somebody. I don't know, it just didn't seem surprising at all to me that it panned out that way.

It seemed like there was sign after sign for sign that that's what was going to happen. Right. And then Jo was saying in her like confessional interview moment that in fact, according to Jo, she and Tom are still hooking up at this moment and they've said, I love you. I don't know how I feel about that. Do I think that they probably were hooking up more than Schwartz said? Probably, or maybe not more often, but closer to that date than he was making it out to be, probably. The I love you thing, I do believe that they have probably said that, but I don't think it was in the way that you and I say I love you, Luke.

I agree. It's like, love you. It probably happened drunkenly after sex and that moment that just like it comes out. And then when you're sober and thinking about it, you're not feeling as good about having said it. Yeah, totally. It's not. Yeah, this deep thing. And Tom even says in the chair in the interview, he's like, I wonder if Joe isn't deeper than me. Yeah, like, yeah, you think you think shorts. So he handles this later. So we get to paintball. I think that I have been to this paintball place before.

I'm not totally sure. I've been paintballing once many moons ago with Tom Sandoval and the crew. But Luke, were you sitting on the picnic table? Did I see your head peek out on the picnic table? You saw me next to Shannon, yeah. You were at paintball. Yes, and it was so fucking hot out there.

Holy shit, like heat stroke hot, unsafe hot, 110. Oh my God. Kind of thing out there. It was rough, it was kind of fun. I don't know. It was, I guess as you saw, I'm not really in this scene, but I played paintball. Yeah.

I was trying to like find humor in the guy who was like running the paintball thing, like, cause I know he was trying to, humor in the guy who was running the paintball thing, because I know he was trying to, I guess, make jokes. But I was like, what is he talking about? Facial reconstruction and there's rattlesnakes out there and you don't want to get hit here because what? I was like, what is happening right now? This is so odd. When most of the guys I think had all been paintballing before.

Yeah, just the velocity of the paintball coming out. If you were to get shot at close range without a mask in the face, yeah, you could go blind or it could really fuck you up. Oh, fuck yeah, for sure. Like I've been hit with paintballs and it sucks. But I don't know, it just was like, what are you talking about right now, dude? Like I would have been like, forget it, I'm not doing this. And also like, thank God, no offense to the boys, but thank God the girls were there to like carry this scene

because you guys were obviously sweating, gross, you wanted to play, but you know, the girls actually got to like, I was wondering why they even went, but I guess just for like moral support. So Lala is filling Ali in that she had met up with Joe at the hot dog place and that Katie was upset and then it was just kind of lala I don't want to say talking shit, but

expressing her frustration about how Katie reacted. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I Get it. I will say I saw all the girls talking the entire time. We were playing paintball. Yeah Yeah, they weren't really watching. They were having their own conversation. Because there's nothing to watch. Paintball is not a spectator sport. It can be. There's professional paintball on TV. You also think golf is a spectator sport. It is. They sell out these events. Are you kidding me? Okay. I'll go by myself. Anyway. So here's the big dramatic ending. And was really, I'm not gonna lie, this made me really sad and it was also very odd. It was weird for me personally to see Jo with Butter,

with Katie and Tom's dog Butter. It was weird for me that she was home, she was there when Schwartz came in. Right. This is clearly says that she's living there. Or she's just hanging out there or something, you know, like she probably has a key to the place. I think at this point they were saying she wasn't staying there anymore, but she obviously has like a key to his place or she was there maybe the night before that he left. I'm not sure. But literally Schwartz says to her, like, am I sending you mixed signals? Like she's at your house when you're not home.

Of course you're sending mixed signals. Tommy, I love you, but come on dude. And I know he doesn't want to hurt her, but it can be a lot more painful leading someone on than just telling the truth. Absolutely. That's what I was going to say is that not wanting to hurt somebody being too passive

is more hurtful to the receiving end. Then just ripping the bandaid off. Exactly. If it's not working, call it what it is. Say, hey, we can stay friends, we should draw lines, we can't be hooking up, I'm going to be single. I told you I don't want to be in a relationship and I may have fucked up by sleeping with you again after telling you that, but I'm sorry and we got to draw a line.

This is exactly what Tom does in this moment. It's essentially what ends up happening. I know Tom, and I know he doesn't want to inflict pain on anyone, and I know that he really cares about Joe, especially in this moment, and cherishes their friendship in this moment, of course. But I just think it's equally both of their faults at this point is all I'm trying to say.

But it did make me sad because you know he was being like we just said like very forthcoming about it like I don't want to be in a relationship. I hook up with other people like he is being forward, he's being honest and then she starts getting upset and she said are you embarrassed by me? And then I was very shocked when Tom called Jo out on the stuff she's been saying about the two of them when he's not around, like acting like they're more than they were. He was like are you telling people ABCDEFG, you know? I was I was like pretty shocked at how forward he was, proud of him because that had to be really difficult. Like I don't

want to say he wanted his cake and eat it too, but you know in Tom's perfect world he could continue to have this really close friendship with Joe while dating other girls and having it be okay. But for her, it's just not going to work that way. Right. It's just the other thing that he said multiple times is about having like being able to see the future and how they could be happy and old and wrinkly together. I know.

And continuing to say that, it's just like, ah, you're just continuing to give her hope. Even though you kind of sent her on her way way you sent her on her way with hope still Well, she said to she was fantasizing about the future. I don't know if time right? Yeah No, she said it and she asked if he could see it and he's like, yes I can see it too. And he has said before I could probably marry her right now and be happy Sorts of things so it's like what is happening? What is happening? So I think she really feel bad for Joe.

That's a wrap for episode 11. It ended very somber, like for sure. I was like, oh, that's a little dark and sad. So I wonder, you know, how it is going to go for the rest of the season, because we do know that Joe does go to Kyle Chan's party because we were there for the finale. So I don't know. I guess we'll see what's to come.

Five more episodes. Five more episodes and then a reunion that I heard was really good and not a lot of shouting, which will be nice to watch for once. Nice. Tune into the Valley on Tuesdays. Yup. Tune into the Valley every Tuesday after Band of Pump rules. And then we will talk to you guys tomorrow on our second episode of Balancing Act.

Yes, can't wait for this one. We had a great time. We sure did. Okay, guys. Well, we love you so much. Thanks for sticking with us. This was a very jumpy all over the place episode. Hope we did due diligence.

And we love you guys. We'll talk to you soon. Thanks for listening everyone. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Doty and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke double underscore Broderick. Be sure to click the subscribe button

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