Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - It All Happened – Last Night on VPR S11 E12

Episode Date: April 21, 2024

Episode 105. In this episode, Kristen and Luke recap Vanderpump Rules Season 11 Episode 12, “How'd You Like Them Apples?” Luke also addresses a moment from their show “The Valley” that has been repeatedly brought up to him.  Sponsors: Head to Viiahemp.com and use the code DOUTE to receive 15% off + one free sample of their sleepy Dreams gummies. (21+).  Go to Addyi.com and use code DOUTE for a $10 telemedicine appointment Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gamling.com call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of It All Happened, recapping dinner pump rules season 11 episode 12. How do you like dim apples? Dim, dim, I don't remember how they say it. A-P-P-L-E-S.

Apples and bananas. I don't know. A-P-P-Y-P. Oh, is Sheena like totally like taking in Gwen Stefani? Like B-A-N-A-N-A-S. She's like A-P-P-L-E-S. Whatever. That's Sheena's song. Oh, she's in the spelling group now. Oh, boy. It's like Fergie and Gwen Stefani and Sheena. Yeah. Okay. I like it.

That's very pop artist. Oh, so this music video, we open at Kyle Chan's jewelry store. Okay, well I want to tell everyone first, I know you're very excited, which I'm very excited about that you're excited, but guys, this is coming out late, clearly. I was in New York, I was traveling,

I was doing Watch Rapids Live, so we didn't get to get this out on time, and if you do follow us on social media, then you know that my pup-o Bowie is not doing so hot. He is now at home with us and will just live out his last days here. So now we're gonna talk about Vanderpump rules. I'm a little low energy

because I just talked about this like 14 times in New York, but Luke is very enthusiastic right now. I just have energy and you know, let's get it done. I thought this was a lot happened. It all happened. And I like any time an episode of Vanderpump opens up at Kyle Chan's jewelry store. Yeah, that's really fun. So Kyle Chan's, it's Sheena's Good as Gold remix, right?

Yes, Good as Gold remix, duh, because Kyle has the awesome gold whiskey wall and Sheena's vlogging. They're getting ready to do the music video for the 27s and they're kind of just setting this all up for us. And then Ariana and Lala show up. Yeah. And it just kind of comes out that Katie's not coming because she's sick. Well, she said she's not sick. She said she's on her deathbed. Okay. So she's sick. Well, she said she's not sick. She said she's on her deathbed. Okay, so she's very sick, to translate. And Sheena's like, hmm, does she just not wanna come? Is she trying to avoid Lala?

You thought Katie looked far too pretty to be on her deathbed. Oh, that picture looked, yeah, it didn't look deathbed-like. I mean, I look like shit when I'm on my deathbed. I know, no offense, babe, but you don't look that good when you'm on my deathbed. I know no offense, babe, but you don't look that good when you're on your deathbed when you're really feeling rough. I'm sorry. Maybe she had a filter. Katie's really pretty though.

Maybe. Yeah. Whatever. Excuse or not. Katie's not there and they go through this awesome music video. Yeah. And I like it. Like Sheena's just owning her, her her all of her shit like the pop stuff the music stuff Sheena says this has been like a really positive thing for her doing music and like alleviating her Anxiety and it's just a blast and it's been ten years since good as gold came out That's crazy to think about wild as hell still being played in all so this Kind of quickly transitions into the Rachel podcast Rachel Raquel. Whoever is going rogue at the moment, but Yeah quickly translates into that or transitions into that and everyone has thoughts and feelings

Pretty serious thoughts and feelings about it. Sheena gets very upset. Well, she hadn't hurt She hadn't heard the podcast yet, but she said she was getting notifications about it. What upset Sheena, which I felt the same way truly, is that Rachel slash Raquel is now saying she and Ariana were acquaintances at best, which is absolutely B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Good job there. That was great. Truly, it is. Of course, Vanderpump Bravo loves a good montage of flashbacks. They flashback to Rachel slash Raquel's birthday the year prior where she was talking about Ariana and Tom and the people that they went glamping with.

She was like, these are my true core people. These are my forever friends and ariana's pov is like i don't know either she's just telling herself that to like make herself make rachel is telling herself this to make herself feel better or she's like in the back of her mind she's like i didn't really think shit of ariana yeah which is pretty fucked up i think she's just telling herself that i think she's's Rachel these days from everything that I'm reading and the clips that I'm seeing. She's telling herself a lot of false information to make herself believe whatever it is to get her through the day. Yeah, I guess that's what it sounds like. I mean, to me, this sounds

like one of the most LA things I've heard. It seems very on par for a lot of the people that I know around here as far as like oh you can fake a Friendship as long as you need to if that's I mean if that's really what she was doing then clearly it was she was faking this Friendship I don't see any game. Do you I mean? What do you think just based on the little bit that you know? Look? I don't know her personally at all from what I barely do either From yeah from what I've heard though. I mean if she's gonna stand by that then yeah She's the other side of it is that she's claiming

she faked this friendship for years and years for her gain and then she got the shit into the stick when she decided to be Tom's mistress. And yeah, I don't know, none of this even makes sense to me. I mean, maybe that could be the case because as I was listening to you say that, I'm like, well, for me, that does ring a bell with her new best friend, Girl Jo, where I'm starting to feel like Jo faked a friendship with me

for years and years just to get onto Vanderpump Rules or to be with Tom Schwartz. So maybe it's possible. I just think Rachel slash Raquel is telling herself this so she can go to sleep at night, wake up in the morning, and keep doing this dumb fucking podcast. And wake up angry, I guess. I guess. I mean, that's what it sounds like, and that's not healthy. Well, she also said about Sheena that their quote unquote

friendship was equally beneficial, being that she did this for Sheena, so then Sheena let her stay at her apartment. And that is not how Sheena viewed their friendship. Sheena is a very giving and very generous person So if you're friends with Sheena and you need something she's if she's capable and able and to do that She's willing and I'll say a room at Sheena's house is worth more than a thousand dollars a month. Yeah 100% so she was cutting her deal being a good friend and

Getting shit on now by Rachel on her podcast or she went on someone else's podcast wasn't it? I don't think it was on hers. I think this was on Bethany's because this was a while ago. That's right. Yeah. Anyway, everyone's got lots to think about it or lots to say about this. Go to James and Allie's house. They're talking about the podcast. Go figure. And you know, they just are talking about that. Rachel said on this podcast that she never loved Tom right brings that up I supposedly wasn't over James yet or something right so I mean I

think that struck a chord with James and probably had to do with the outbursts you see here before too long a couple scenes up when Sandoval and James get into it into it dick measuring contest yeah right I just feel like everything she's saying now is completely negating everything that she said at the reunion, everything that she said last year in general. She can blame whatever she wants, and you can blame a reality show, you can blame producers, go ahead, right? No one put a gun to her head and say, you have to say you love Tom, or you have to say

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and I have really strong feelings about the fact that you both still live in that house, but you have a house. Can I have my party there? And I don't know, that's how it felt, even though those aren't the words she used. She's been doing nothing but drag them for living in that house, but she's like,

eh, it's a free house. It's a big house. Why not? Why not ask Jackson and Brittany? Because they're not on Vanderpump? Yeah. Okay. That's what I'll say, 100%.

Well, because she obviously goes right to... Well, and Ariana's just like, no. It's a mess. Essentially, as we see later on in the episode, Ariana's like, I'm done putting shit away because I'm about like putting shit away because I'm about to move it all out. Exactly, so Arianna's a hard no. Lisa is the most logical next step here.

So that's where she ends up going. So now we're towards his apartment and I love this little camera insert that they do where there's like Joe's scrunchies like on his branches of his trees. It's like the most random thing ever. It is kind of random. Yeah, I mean, it shows he hasn't completely

like cleared her out of his life. Mm, just suppose. I mean, if he has another girl there, which, you know, eventually now he's with Sophia, if Sophia was there, I think she'd be like, yeah, I'm gonna throw this away. I'm gonna throw this away, yeah. Yeah, a lot of things.

But I just loved where, okay okay number one for I love her shorts Is like with the pups he's with Gordo and butter and he's like, oh you guys are all I got and I was like man I know that feeling Like when you're out of town or before we were dating and I'm just here with my dogs and I realize like hours have gone by That I haven't spoken a word to a human being like pretty much for the whole day I've only talked to my dogs or like text people. Not even on the phone? No.

No. Okay. I'm always just with my dogs. And then Sandleville comes over, and real quick, did you see that giant, it almost looked like a big dog bed, but it was like a human, like almost full-sized bed that Schwartz was sitting on? Is that what that was? I don't know what it was.

It was a big, giant, black, almost like a mattress pad pad type thing. I was like, is it a dog bed? Is that where Joe used to sleep? Is that where Sandoval might move to? Like, I don't know. Yeah, jeez. Well, no, I didn't really notice it that much, but you know, in comes Sandoval. Yeah, Sandoval walks in and they're chit-chatting for a second, but he's like pretty immediately really upset, starts crying, telling shorts about this podcast that Rachel did that she said she didn't love them. And he starts sobbing being like, I did all this work. I wanted her to see that I did this work.

I wanted her to notice, which frustrates me. And it goes back to like episodes ago where Tom's like, I'm doing this work for myself. I'm doing it for me. And we kind of called him on his bullshit on our podcast before we're like, eh, it's kind of sounds like you're doing it just so she'll notice. And now he says he's doing all of this work. So she will notice. And that's why he's so bummed out. So note to self, you guys, don't change for other people only change for yourself. Be you, be who you are. And Sandoval is super upset he's like well

what was this all for? And I like that Schwartz you know is growing I love you Tom but like finally getting like some hair on his balls and is pretty upfront and honest with Sandoval and he's like straight up it's over man it's been over. I was like, thank God insert Applause for Schwartz not like beating around the bush and being like, I don't know man. I think it'll be okay Maybe one day I should call you. He's like no dude. It's over. It's over It's been over right and this is as clear as day if you know Sandvall's are already heard it from Lisa that she talked to Rachel Raquel, Rachel Rocklele whatever racket sometimes when I type

her name when I'm taking notes it just says racket and I leave it racket ratchet anyway anyway moving forward I noticed it I don't know if anyone else noticed this but Sandoval has a paintball welt on his shoulder and of course you know I'd of course I noticed it right So there's also a pool scene in this episode of the valley where I have a welt or two visible in my tank top So just saying that was you know, the whole paintball scene you saw last episode. You're like see we really did play paintball It wasn't just the girls talking. Oh, yeah, we actually did play paintball. We got shot. It was fun. It was actually Insanely hot so hot like I thought I was gonna have a heat stroke out there. It was fun. It was actually insanely hot. So hot. Like I thought I was gonna have a heat stroke out there. It was bad. Thank goodness the girls were talking because we were just firing paint at each other. Yeah. Anyway. Okay. So

now we go to good old TomTom and Schwartz is like telling Lisa all about Santa Ball coming over that he heard Raquel's podcast that he's super upset about it. And this is like one of the first, maybe one of the first like handful of times I've ever fully agreed with Lisa. And I loved that she, like when Sandoval walked in and she's having a conversation with him about it, and she said, why listen? Like why are you listening to this podcast?

Torturing yourself. Don't invest. Don't invest. And I was like, she is so right. It is pure self-sabotage. And I know because I've been guilty of it. Trust me, I'm like, I'm not reading any comments, I'm not gonna listen to anything.

And then I'm like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I can't believe what this person's saying about me. Kristen, put your phone down, you know. That's why I can say it is pure self-sabotage. You know that you are not gonna find anything that you want to read or listen to. It's unhealthy, it's bad for your mental health, but same time, it's kind of a drug you need to know.

You know, it sits in your mind, you're like, I gotta know what's being said. I gotta know if you actually care about these people's opinions, which is a big part of that whole deal. Well, then they start talking about the house. And he is now debating. So Ariana has now accepted his offer.

Everyone's like, OK, yay, finally. We're near the end of the road here. And he's like, yeah, but you know what? I don't know if I want to accept it. It's been two months. And at first, I was like, I'm going to smack him through this damn television like you little shit but then he does go on to

explain he doesn't even know if he wants it anymore he also doesn't know if he can afford it anymore. Right I think that's the biggest thing is that refinancing now I won't bore everybody but rates are a lot higher so his mortgage was gonna jump a whole lot. Which is also something Ariana had been telling him for a year You're not gonna be able to afford this on your own. Let's just sell the house and he's like hell no I want the house. Oh, it's frustrating and then Lala comes in Asks Lisa if she can have the sperm party at her house and Lisa says you have my blessing

Hallelujah, But not immediately She's like I don't want jizz being thrown all around my house I don't know if she said jizz but sperm semen come whatever all those dirty words, but she says yes. Yay Yay, we're having a crisis averted. I can have the sperm party at least as Villa Rosa Right have our her who's your daddy party. I believe is what they call it Who's your daddy? Pin the sperm on the vagina. We cut to Tom and Ariana's house.

There's Ariana there and Brock and Sheena walk in. And the house is full of boxes. There's like bags, boxes. You can tell they're like clearing rooms out, trying to figure out what to get rid of. They're definitely wanting to pack and like really make some moves. Right. And that's what ultimately why Brock and Sheen are there They're there to offer their help right and Ariana to jump back to what we were just talking about Ariana is like annoyed because Tom's now second-guessing it

She's finally, you know pulled the trigger and said fine. You can fucking buy me out. I'm over this and he's like, well I don't know and she's like dude This is exactly what I told him was going to happen and she says being right is hard sometimes Especially when it's always the case Mike drop I thought it was funny. Yeah confident and accurate for the moment So they're just yeah, they're essentially just there being like we're here for you We're really trying to like help you you need to to help us help you, help you, us help you. Yeah.

Right. You know, but I really got that because I too have had friends. I've moved so many times, but specifically when I was moving out of my house or even my other apartment, moving into the house and I had friends come over to help me one time it was on Vanderpump Rules, Jackson, someone came over to Katie, I think, to help me move stuff out. And I'm looking at everything and I'm like, I don't know, that's his and that's mine.

And it's just so hard. You know you wanna make the moves, but you just don't know where to start. I mean, it's easier to just go to the yes, no kind of thing and have other people being like, grab something with a box next to it and you say yes or no, it goes in the box. If it's a yes, if it's a no, it goes in a trash bag. And that's that.

I just don't think that she was like at that point yet because they were really trying to be helpful. And she was like, I don't know. That's not mine. Don't touch that. Ew, it's gross and sweaty. Yeah. I haven't opened the Christmas present yet.

Can I tell you how much I felt that moment? Oh my goodness. Luke knows I'll go through a box and I was like, oh my God, wait, I just found a card from my mom from like a year and a half ago and there's cash in it. Didn't even know that was there. Yeah, that does happen, 100% does happen. And Sheena talks about her new song

being directed toward Tom and she was like, you know what, this is the Sheena that I love that's like a little sassy but very honest. And she was like, essentially like, take the trauma and make it art. Hee hee. Hee hee. That was so funny.

Oh, I think it was a smart move. But I think Sheena also had a really good point like on a serious note about a messy house can equal a messy mind. I totally agree with that because of my ADHD and it's like I'm a tinkerer and I like to like I want everything to have its place but I know when things are messy and I look around I'm just like I fuck like my brain is all out of sorts but when everything's in its place it's a lot easier to like go through the list in your mind.

Okay well now we're at the like most wild part of the episode, which I'll be honest with you guys, pre-Watch What Happens Live, I never even watched this scene. As we know, I tend to shy away from certain scenes with certain people in them, and this to me was like, I don't know what I'm going to gain as a as Kristen in my own heart, soul and brain by watching Tom and James yell at each other or get along. I just didn't want to watch it, but I did this time and it really was a dick measuring contest. This is what I took out of it. They were both so mad because they both know the other one is slightly possibly right about the digs they're throwing at each other. So then they just start doing that childish like at the very end, you know, I'm jumping.

But at the end it was like, go play with your dumb, stupid band. And he's like, go push some things in your laptop. It's like your shoe, you know, they might have been like, your shoes are ugly. Well, your hair is stupid. That's how I felt at watching these two act like absolute children. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, it happens though. I lost brain cells during the scene.

Listen, we all don't watch Vanderpump Rules to like get our MBA. That's not why we watch this show. We're not here studying. I don't think very many people are taking notes while they watch it, trying to gain something useful for their life here, except maybe what not to do in life. Totally. It is entertainment. And yeah, that childish fight was interesting. It started as this weird sort of heart to heart, which I think from watching it, it seemed like why would James show up there if he wasn't going to accept the offer to

play the show with Tom? That's my guess because I think otherwise he'd send a text and say no. But also, I had more screen time if he shows up with his stupid dog. Sorry, dogs are great, but can't. And it's like, Tom really does start it, just badmouthing Raquel. And it just felt like he was hoping for James to

commiserate with him, like agree with him. Like, yeah, she treated me me bad and she treated you bad. And it was just the most awkward, awkward fucking moment as all hell. And it didn't go the way Sandoval wanted or thought it would go. Probably didn't go the way James thought it would go. They both fucking snapped. And then the conversation was over. That was it.

And James leaves saying, I'm not fucking playing for you. Yeah. I'm bigger than this. Anyway. I beg to differ. Let's cut to who's your daddy. Yeah let's please let's do that. So we're at Lala's sperm party, sperm donor party, and what would be a party without a little drums. So Allie is letting Katie know what Lala had said about her behind her back at paintball. And I felt for Ali so much because she got one word wrong, right? She said miserable and it was super unhappy. And I'm like, for the love of Christ.

There's something called synonyms. Grab a thesaurus and don't get so upset over one word. I don't know. Which this will continue later on at the brunch, but in this moment, it was like- I may get shit for this, but I think this is somewhat of a girl's female characteristic to hang on a word like that.

I don't know. For me personally, it doesn't stick with me as much when it's like, not exactly what I said, but yeah, that's the gist of it. It's how I'd take it and not be like, who said I was miserable? Who said I was miserable? It's like, you said you were unhappy. What's the synonym to unhappy, miserable?

Okay, no one really flubbed here. It's not that big a deal. I don't see. Totally. Like, oh, that one's worse. Like, no, not that much worse. No, it's pretty much the same thing. Because what if it had been the opposite?

What if Ali had said, well, Lala said, you're really unhappy. And then Katie's like, you know, later at the brunch, Katie says, did you say I was really unhappy? And Lala said, I didn't say that. I said you were miserable. Which one's worse? Which one's better? Exactly.

And, you know, ultimately, one thing I took away is the first time I've seen Ali really get uncomfortable. She's the newest girl to the group and checking and relaying words that were said. You can kind of see her kind of scoop back. She's like just trying to be the truth serum. She's like in the scene, in the moment with her friends and just trying to relay the information. So I felt bad for her. But keep going with that.

They decide they're going to pick the baby daddy. They're going to be voting on it. They're going to be pinning the sperm on the vagene. And as they're going through like these three donors and what at least what we know, obviously, clearly Lala knows much more about these men than what she's reading, right? It has to be. I've never done a sperm donor process, but there's no way this is all she was given. But it was funny because Ariana is like looking at these pieces of paper and she's like, these are like super generic and this is not turning me on at all.

And I'm like same. But I also was hearing about all three and going, Luke, are you finance guy? Or are you the six foot tall athletic one that she ended up choosing? I don't remember what the number one was that they ended up choosing, but when they were talking about number three, degree in accounting and finance, Jack loves cooking. I'll say at the time that I was, that I donated sperm. I just don't know how that's a thing you choose a sperm donor based on. Like he loves cooking. No, it's not a determining factor.

All I'm saying is at that time, I was living alone and cooking for myself all the time. And your spermies went to California Cryobank. And they went to the same Cryobank, if yeah, that's a whole weird story that I mentioned. But anyway, I was just kind of laughing being like, huh, am I number three on this list? That's hilarious.

I know. Well, they end up not choosing number three. They end up choosing donor number one pretty wholeheartedly as a group, as her friends and her family, the tall athletic, kind, polite, and she's trying to have a Virgo baby. So there's that. And I do think she might have a Virgo baby. So congratulations. Well, it worked.

So if that, if she got the timing right, it should be, it should pan out the way she wanted. Yeah. So we are flipping back and forth a little bit here. We have Schwartz and Sandoval. There's a quick talk about Craig being the new assistant, right? Oh my god.

And how much Craig is literally dressed. He and Tom have the same hair, and they're both wearing a black tank top. And the mustache. Yes. It was just like, what the fuck is happening? Am I in the Twilight Zone? But I found out while I was in New York that Craig lasted all of four days as Tom's assistant

So I don't know what they're doing now these days, but hopefully they're still friends. They are I know they're still friends I saw I saw Craig and Sandoval at Shorts and Sandy's on Tuesday So but of course Sandoval is like so I have this idea, and immediately Shorts is like, no, dude, no. He's like, hear me out, no, dude. So, essentially, do you want to be my roommate? No, dude, can't do it. Okay, and Shorts decides to just flirt with the idea.

Just throw it out to me, what's the price? Six grand. Hell no, dude. And Sandoval's sitting here trying to convince him that like six isn't that much worse than 4,500 when you're renting Tom Sandoval's house. Like is Tom gonna give him like equity in the house? Is he gonna be like, you get to own part of it?

No. No, of course not. Exactly. Of course not. I mean, I get where Schwartz is coming from the same time Schwartz would never live with him again That is literally like going back in time Literally, rewinding your life back 15 years and going I want to be that same person again a hundred percent I think that's the bigger deal here because to be Santa Valls living in Peter Pan never never land

Still to this day Schwartz is trying to move on with his life and be a responsible grown-ass man, right? Well, I'll just say that if two people are splitting that house Six grand would probably be a fair price That's a big-ass house with a yard and a pool and all this stuff six grand a month is a fair rental price to split That with one other person not if you're living with Tom Sandoval Like your mental health alone and like lack of sleep should be worth a pretty penny. I'm not disagreeing with you, babe. I'm just trying to look at it.

And you've never lived with him, that's what I'm saying. No, I haven't. Not being Tom Sandoval is a human, but I had to live with him for far too many years. I lived with he and Schwartz, he, Schwartz and Jax. That is not a good time. Okay, I'll take your word for it because I don't anticipate my life ever

turning that direction turning it will not So oh My goodness. Anyway, the voodoo doll question or comment was kind of funny. It made me laugh I feel like I probably made a voodoo doll of Santa ball at some point I know my sister definitely did witches of we hoe, huh? For sure. I'm sure we did Is there one of me? No, not yet. You had one in Elaine's house though. Yeah, that was kind of generic, but yeah. Okay. All right. Any whoosies. We go to Ali's house and this is like the first time that I went, Ali, what the fuck are you saying right now? She's telling James about the sperm donor party. And she's like, I mean, they didn't even ask her

like all I would have asked was like, his GP, I need to know his GPA in high school and his son's sign. GPA in high school. Is Allie a lot younger than I think she is? I know she's in her 20s, but I have no idea. But like, is she 20? Because who's talking about a GPA in high school still? We talked about GPA at all. Like college even matters less.

I mean, other than your first job out of college, where they might ask, they might not, depending on what job you're going for. But your GPA kind of doesn't matter. You get the degree. It literally doesn't matter. Yeah, it matters to get into college and sometimes to get your first job. Otherwise it's nonsense. It's just a weird thing to say and it wasn't funny. So I was trying to figure out if she was joking or not, but I think she was serious. So maybe she's just really young and my bad, Ali.

And then they start having baby talk and Ali says with a lot of conviction, she has never felt called to to be a mom. A lot of her friends have, she doesn't have a Pinterest board, she doesn't dream about marriage or kids and she's being very firm on this. And my only thought this entire conversation was they've been together for a year and a half

and they've bought a house together and they've never discussed this. Well, they didn't buy it together, James bought it, but I know that was said. Did they say that? Yes, they've said that. Oh, okay, my bad. But like even so, they never discussed this?

Absolutely. They've never once had a conversation about children and marriage? They kind of did touch on it and be like, well, when we got together, you said, you know, I'm not ready yet kind of thing. And now it it's like I've never really been called to it at all been dating this long and the conversation is just now happening I mean I'm kind of turning my head like Gibson does and I'm like huh is this this is really the first time I mean the way James cries

I mean I don't know the same time when he said with everything I've been through I can't imagine starting over I'm like dude you're fucking fucking younger than me. And what have you been through? Like come on been through a breakup What what would you been through? I'm sorry. I have zero empathy there I'm like zero what what how many lives have you ruined? Is that what you mean by what you've been through James? Like shut the fuck you were you were engaged and didn't work out once Yes Join join the club with millions of other people not just in this country around the world Like you're not that special a lot of people going through a lot harder shit than that

I mean you've got a girlfriend in her 20s saying she's not ready for kids never had the calling She didn't say a hundred percent never I'm never gonna be a mom I don't want I don't want to be married or anything, but I told you Yeah, I just didn't feel bad for him at all And I felt like the childlike temper tantrum was like building up inside of him where he wanted to be like instead I mean, maybe this maybe that's the fucking growth that people are claiming to see so he didn't snap at her and say You never told me that I can't believe this. Instead he just cried.

Wow, growth. My take is more, as far as Los Angeles goes, what I'm seeing here is I think it's far less common for a woman in her 20s to feel like she's ready to be a mom here in this city. Or maybe in most big cities. I know in general people are waiting longer, but I don't know how old she is. If she's 23, she's 26, she's 29,

whatever she is, you know, to not even have it really hitting you till you're in your thirties. I can understand that. But also like who would want to procreate with James Kennedy? Have you met his mother? Have you met him? I can't think of anything more terrifying than procreating with that person. There may or may not be things behind the scenes. I don't know. But ultimately, it was just real weird

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mammoth.com and use code Kristen for 15% off today. So now we're at pump brunch, AKA Tom Tom brunch. I don't think I realized that Lisa named the other half of Tom Tom pump until this moment. And I have been there, but I don't recall that. And my brain immediately went, how does that work financially for Tom and Tom? If half of it's called pump and half of it's called Tom Tom, I don't recall that. If half of it's called pump and half of it's called TomTom, how do they figure that out?

Their 5% equity matters. You thought it was weird that Sando and James just like brushed it off. They're like, basically walked up and was like, I'm sorry. I'm me too. Okay. Boom. Done for me with the guy friends I have, if something happens and we get at each other, yeah, it's pretty quick. It's like, Hey man, sorry, I got worked up. Yeah, me too. Cool. Over. That's that. Do you think that that's what was going on in this moment? Or do you think they both just didn't want to have to talk about it ever again? So they just like brushed it under the rug and went, who cares?

I truly think they were both like, yeah, that was dumb. Sorry for what I said. Sorry for what I said. Cool. Put it in the best. And do you think they're friends now? Cause I don't know if they are. Who knows? I don't know anything about.

Yes on that. I mean, I can, I could ask Tom next time I see him. I don't really care, but I agree. Just in the moment, I was like, that's a weird quote unquote apology. And Luke immediately was immediately was like I mean that's kind of how guys do it I was like out there not how we women do it at least not in my circle at least for me I mean we got to talk that shit out till midnight Cry then have some cosmos and sleep over and hug it out in the morning speaking of that

We get to the girls talking it out and crying it out Yeah and hug it out in the morning. Speaking of that, we get to the girls talking it out and crying it out. Yeah, all the girls show up, the five girls, and here we go with what we were talking about earlier where Katie tells Lala, like, hey, Ali said this, and this is where we were talking about the whole miserable slash unhappy thing. And I'm just like, fuck him, Ali, I get it. You fuck up one word and all hell breaks loose. Have you guys watched The Valley?

And Katie's just expressing to Lala that she does, you know, Lala saying that she's trying to be soft and she's feeling soft and Katie's like, you know, well, your softness, I feel that it's going to people that aren't deserving of it rather than her actual friends. And I thought that was a really, really great way way to word it that she wasn't discounting Lala's feelings But she was like where's my softness cuz I'm seeing you give your soft energy to people that aren't really like in your life Katie is very assertive saying I'm not miserable. I'm not unhappy I'm very happy with where I am and I agree with that I know that Katie is this I've been seeing Katie shine like a fucking diamond in the sky

I mean, she certainly seemed to enjoy fucking with tom, you know with with the whole torii thing Yeah, because it's funny. Yeah. No, it's not just funny I think she truly it was really enjoying that and she seems to be and not in an angry place. I think she With ariana she was with ariana a whole lot and ariana is still working toward this as we all are seeing at this point And she's feeling i'm guessing she's just feeling what ariana's feeling and it leads to with Ariana a whole lot and Ariana is still working toward this as we all are seeing at this point. And she's feeling, I'm guessing she's just feeling what Ariana's feeling and it leads to sometimes being more guarded or just more, you know,

less just open and soft, more guarded and like hard. Like I'm gonna stand up for my friend cause everyone here is trying to push her to hang out with her ex who had an affair with her best friend. Yeah, I mean, Katie's always said since the day I met her, to hang out with her ex who had an affair with her best friend. Yeah. I mean, Katie's always said, since the day I met her, do not mistake my kindness for weakness. Katie will be kind, but she's not someone

that you can steamroll past or, like, walk all over. She's not a fucking doormat, you know? So go Katie. But they did end up making up, and, you know, Lala started crying, and she expressed that she felt because Katie and Ariana were getting close that she didn't know where her place was with Katie anymore. And I do understand what that's like and I can empathize with that. However, on the other side of it, I'm kind of like, aren't we a little old for this?

Aren't we a little old to be like, but that's your new best friend and I thought I was your best friend and now I feel like I'm not your best friend anymore. Is this the first time you've watched this show, Kristen? Is it? Oh wait, you were on it. That's right. You're deep in it. Yeah, that's kind of how this goes, babe. And then I'm glad they included this little Ariana line

where there's all this like emotion and like soft fighting going on. And Ariana's like, can we all just have a night where we lay in one big bed and do nothing? I was like, yes, queen. That sounds amazing. The only thing I want to say about this, and this might not be a popular vote,

is that I felt like in this scene, Sheena was like being Lala's mouthpiece, very similarly to the way that Schwartz is Sandoval's mouthpiece. Like Sheena kept leaning in, when at first when the miserable thing was brought up, Sheena's like, she didn't say that. She didn't say that. And then she was like leaning over Lala to like explain on Lala's behalf.

Not that this is like a bad against Sheena, but it felt very Tom Schwartz and Tom Sandoval. You know, where Schwartz feels like he has to explain for Sandoval, because Sandoval, you know, where it's saying shorts feels like he has to explain for Sandoval because Sandoval is not getting his words correctly or he's being either too wordy or mouthy or and Lala tends to be a little harder and harsher. So she is like leaning in like being the Lala whisperer, if you will. And I was like, they're all grown. If they make that bed, they have to lie in it, you know, grown. If they make that bed, they have to lie in it, you know? A hundred percent. And so thank goodness you have this input on it, because I'll be honest, my mind wonders when people, you know, a group of girls are hanging on a word that I'm like, the fuck doesn't matter. My mind starts to wonder. But you know, they worked it out and they cried. They did. And they said, we are going to show up for each other.

And this is the choice we've made, which I'm curious to see how that goes for the rest of the season, because from what I heard about the reunion it does not stay that way. Well, we can only hope babe. We can only hope it's not kumaya for the rest of the season. Yes and so the last scene we have Schwartz and Sandoval chatting and I didn't, I couldn't catch everything Tom was saying but he did say something to Schwartz about like Ariana being the enemy, which I thought was super weird. And then he was saying something else and all of a sudden he goes, oh, Sheena's coming. Be quiet.

Yeah, that part was funny. And Sheena's just the Sheena that I love in this whole episode. It's just like the bubbly Sheena with zero fucks and like the truth spiller. And she was like, Tom's like, oh, I didn't get any closure and I listened to the podcast I don't have any closure and she goes you know what none of us are getting any closure so I wrote a song about it yeah that made me laugh so hard didn't go over so well I mean yeah he's like wait about our affair and she was like it's open to interpretation like LOL and Schwartz like, it could have been about

anybody except that Rachel drove a Jetta. And Sandoval, I was literally shocked that Sandoval got his panties that much in a twist that he like stormed off because of a funny lyric. It really shocked me. Like you're leaving your own first brunch at your own bar because you're that like wedgied up your vagina. Like pull the tampon out. Like you're going to be okay. I think he really cared about, I think he clearly really cared about Raquel and thought all the work he was doing was going to give him a shot for them to be together. I know, but it's a funny song lyric.

Oh, absolutely. Let's think about what Tom Sandoval and the fucking most extras did after Sandoval broke out. He was going on stage and saying shit, saying Rachel's name. He was saying lyrics that like trading in lyrics on covers that were making people uncomfortable. And Sheena does this one funny joke and he can't take it. Just like grow up. For him to feel something justified to storm out, not so much.

I understand not having a positive feeling toward that, totally. He could be like, well, that sucks. Yeah, you're profiting on my misery. Still miserable, but you suck it up as a man and you keep moving forward. Well, that was his final last words. He storms off in his white suit and he grabs his bags and puts his sunglasses on. And as he is six, 10 feet past them,

he's like, keep cashing in on my misery. And then they're like, next week on Vendapemprules. It's a fucking midlife crisis of Tom and Tom. They rent this old school Mustang, they go get tattoos, Schwartz has already dyed his hair blonde, like they're losing their everloving minds. No, it's about the right time for a midlife crisis, you asked me. Yeah, 41 years old. Yeah, and they both are freshly out of long relationships. I don't know. I feel like my quarter life crisis was strong enough that I'm not gonna have a midlife crisis. Or mine's gonna come so much later in life.

Mine's gonna come at like 55 or 60. What do you think my midlife crisis looks like? Just imagine, knowing me, how do you think that looks? I don't know, I've never, it's hard to picture you like fully having a crisis. I feel like it's something like going off the grid, but you already live sort of off the grid. No, it's probably gonna be spending too much money

on a certain boat that I really want. I mean, like you do that shit anyway. No, I don't. I get deals, babe. I'm just gonna like go out and buy, you know, like they say- So you're not gonna buy it on Facebook Marketplace. You're gonna go and buy,

you're gonna pay the manufacturer's suggested retail price. Who knows? It's a midlife crisis, babe. It's all up in the air. I don't know. I might get crazy like that. Have you had a quarter life crisis yet? I mean, my life has had a lot of major turns,

a lot of things that no one's ever gonna know about. And gone through a lot of wilder shit than being broken up with. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Hopefully not. And hopefully if it is, it's buying a bad ass boat. So. Okay. Well, I'm not mad about that. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Hopefully not. And hopefully if it is, it's buying a badass boat.

Okay, well I'm not mad about that. Yeah, so The Valley, you know, obviously starts right after this. We have not been recapping them for a couple of reasons. Well, because it'd be weird as shit. I don't want to recap about our show that we have to watch and relift. Right, absolutely. And it'd be weird to recap it because then We're giving away things. It just we guys we can never recap the valley. It's weird Yeah, we won't be recapping also because I mean there's obviously a lot of emotions involved and we don't want to trash these people in our group of Yeah friends ish that

We don't want to be trashing people you guys need to watch it all and see how it all plays out But I just want to address one thing that has been brought to my attention over and over It has been a lot and it's been bothering you like it's been it's just been bothering you because people are constantly bringing it up Yeah, yeah, it's my reaction to not talking to Kristen's ex When we were at the game place, one up is what it's called. The guy's night. Yeah, the guy's night when we were there.

And you see me throw my hands up and be like, why would I want to be friends with a guy like that? Right? All I'm going to say is. The conversation that you had with Jax was longer than what was shown on TV, which I think all of the viewers know. We've said it a million times. You guys, you listeners out there,

like you guys aren't idiots. You guys are smart people. I know that you guys know there's 40 minutes to air show with a ton of footage and not every single thing can be shown. So clearly it does make sense that you, sitting with Jax in that moment, that conversation was a lot longer

than the small parts that we saw. Yeah, they obviously cut to the very end where I just like put my foot down. I just gotta say, Jax wouldn't take no for an answer. There were a lot of nos before I got to that point. And sometimes you gotta be a little more expressive to get through to some people. So that's the way it played out.

And you had given Jax your reasons as to, not only did you not wanna talk to him because he's my ex-boyfriend, you don't know him, you know all the stories, you've read the emails, the text messages, you're very aware of how toxic and tumultuous that relationship was at the end for me, and you witnessed some things yourself within my breakup with Alex,

but also you had your own reasons like within that that you were expressing to Jacks. Exactly yeah there there was more there and you know ultimately I'm just curious reaching here does anybody actually go to the most recent ex of the person they're dating to get their side of the story does that exist in this world does people actually do that because that sounds like the wildest most fucked up thing I've ever heard Yeah like why would you be in a relationship with your person your newer relationship if you wanted to go back to their ex and Like dig up dirt exactly. Well, that's the other thing is like, okay, maybe maybe a hard maybe I'm not saying I would do this

But I'm trying to wrap my head around where this would actually possibly make sense if Kristen and I Weren't like officially dating yet We were like hanging out and this guy was around a bunch. Maybe that conversation does happen You know if I'm like on the fence, are we gonna date or not? Not when we've been dating for a while and we were talking about not just talking about we want to have a kid together We're talking about this big future together. No, I've got no interest in what this guy has to say Why would I what what is there possibly to gain from this guy that she dated before me?

Would be the same as me talking to your ex before. Like, what do I have to gain from that? Your relationship with her was your relationship with her. That had nothing to do with me. Exactly. Our relationship is based on how we are with each other. So I don't care. Right, exactly.

So that's that. Just wanted to address it because it has repetitively come up to me. And yeah, there it is. And me as well. Yeah, so we wanted to clear the air. But all right guys, well thanks so much for listening. We'll talk to you next week.

Thanks for listening, bye. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Doty and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke double underscore Broderick. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes. Thanks for listening. See you next week. Hi, we're Donnie and Chelsea. We're best friends, mortal enemies, and the hosts of I Am The Cute One. On our show, we'll chat movies, gossip about pop culture and current events, but mostly we'll overshare, trauma dump, and embarrass ourselves publicly.

After all, we're millennials, so we've been living and laughing and loving through unprecedented events every few years our entire lives. So if talking **** is your love language, subscribe to I Am The Cute One.