Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - It All Happened – Last Night on VPR S11 E7

Episode Date: March 17, 2024

Episode 96. In this episode, Kristen and Luke recap Vanderpump Rules Season 11 Episode 7, “Written in the Stars”. The Valley Season Premiere is this Tuesday, March 19th at 9pm EST, make sure to tune in! Sponsors: Get 15% off with the code DOUTE at Oneskin.co Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Email us: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Try Tim's new Sweet Chili Chicken loaded wraps and bowls today. Take your taste buds on an exciting new adventure for lunch or dinner with our delicious new Sweet Chili Sauce. It's time for Sweet Chili Chicken. It's time for Tim's. At participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Crypto is like the financial system, but different. It doesn't care where you come from, what you look like,

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Kate, the real test is, will he use the BMO Toronto FC cashback mastercard? What if he wants to earn cash back on his purchases, he will, and... Oh, hang on. He's at the computer with his card, and he's done it! Oh, clicky-click, magic trick! The clicker around the room! You guys just about finished? Sorry, we got excited. Thanks for snagging those tickets.

Make every purchase highlight worthy with the BMO Toronto FC Cashback Mastercard. Come on Luke, do it. Come on Luke, help me, show me your song. Show me your song, my song. Oh man, I'm such a bad singer. I'm an astrologer, I look to the sun, to the moon, to the stars to find my meaning in this world. Star, star, stars. Stars shining bright. Rising.

They're rising. Moon is falling from the sky. The sky. I feel like we're like Anna Faris in the movie with Ryan Reynolds, you know? It's like, forgiveness is more than saying I'm sorry. No, I don't know. What?

What movie is that? Just Friends, where Anna Faris is a pop star and Ryan Reynolds is her manager, I think her agent. Okay, on the list for tonight. And then he takes her back home and he, oh my God. Welcome back to It All Happened. Vanderbump rules recap, season 11, episode seven. Episode seven, season 11, written in the stars.

So here we is, it's written in the stars. Luke and I were just deciding whether or not we wanted to be pop stars in the future. You know, I think I can write a good song about astrology, astrologers, astrologists, whatever the correct term is. Totally. Yeah. Well, we'll get there. That gem is at the end.

It is. That little nugget of hope is at the end of this episode. So of course we start with, Tom Sandoval is back from Tahoe and going to his house, AKA I call it Ariana's house. And good old Ann is there, who we know now is no longer Tom's assistant. Do you think she was thinking about quitting

the whole entire summer, but she was like, you know, I'm going to start a podcast and might as well be on camera as much as I can be since Tom's impossible to deal with. You know, I've never had a conversation with her, so it's hard for me to... I can't really guess, but it seems to be a logical, you know, motivation to stick with a job. It's really hard to be Tom's personal assistant because I did it for probably like five years.

Five out of our five and a half years. You were Tom's assistant? Opened his mail, wiped his ass, made sure he had his calendar on point, cleaned the house, helped him pack a suitcase. Painted his nails? I did not paint his nails. Oh, okay. That was a new thing post breakup,

but I just feel for Anne, and she's such a little sweetheart, but in this moment, it's like, we gotta talk about the elephant in the room, is Ariana home? Ariana is home. She's obviously trying to pack for something. She has her stuff everywhere, just living in her house.

And then when Tom walks in, obviously, you can hear his presence. And it's like, oh, boy, here we go. So Anne starts asking Tom how Tahoe went. And I don't know, Luke, how did you feel about Tom's response? Because I felt he was delusional, but I do realize throughout this episode and a lot of these episodes that I'm very biased.

You are very biased. And I think that the way Tahoe could have gone, it did go in a more positive way than negative for Tom. It wasn't all good, but there were a lot of good notes that he feels like he is on the brink of being forgiven and brought back in Okay, so I see reason for him to feel optimistic. Yes. Okay. I don't agree with that But I think you're probably more correct than I am well, you're Ariana's ride-or-die and

She's my buddy man. She's one of my closest buddies and I don't know I just watching this all you guys know How I feel you listen to these recaps it can be tough for me. That's all yeah, it can be it is I don't hmm without throwing too much shade. This is a tougher season for me to get into Personally, I am getting bored and like distracted and it's in the board part is not that Just to defend defend my friends who are on a show, and as I've been on a show, Luke has now just filmed his first season of a show.

There is something about having to retell stories over and over in different conversations, because you don't, to break the fourth wall, we don't know which side of the stories or which interpretations of the friend group is going to be aired, right? And it is important to kind of get everyone's perspective. But I do feel like it's just going in circles.

It just feels repetitive, like we've heard the same conversations in a lot of episodes. It's everyone being like, Ariana, why won't you forgive Tom? Can you just let other people be friends with him? And she's like, I've set a fucking boundary. And so it's like this whole season of people trying to discuss that and or convince Ariana. And for the 18th time, like I'm just proud of her.

She's like, this is my boundary. This will not change. This is what I want for my life. And for the 18th time again, we all have to remember this is like months after Scandible. It's not a year plus as we're experiencing watching the show now. Right. This was filmed last summer and it was end of winter, early spring when it all went down. So it is still very fresh at this time. It is not a year later.

It is not like they saw headlines all summer and saw all this stuff keep happening and then just started recording now. This was all still very fresh and that's why everything's still heated. Well, heated, there's still a lot of emotions, not that much heat really. Sorry. If there was a lot of heat, we'd have more to talk about. Maybe, yeah. It's like a slow cooker.

It is. It's a crock pot. At least some people get fired up at the end of this. So let's just jump ahead, Sheena, going to Lisa's house. I know. And again, you guys, this is not a hate on Lisa. This is like a production thing. And the issue that I have, that I've always

had with filming scenes with Lisa is like Sheena goes over there to really have a conversation, truly, right? And they do. But Lisa's first line essentially is like, so why did you want to see me? Yes, I bet Sheena went, I can't wait to drive through rush hour traffic from my condo in Marina Del Rey

to drive all the way to Beverly Hills to have a conversation with Lisa that we could have had over the phone or at Sir or anywhere else. Well, it's a TV show, Kristen. I know. I just don't like the like, why did you want to see me, Sheena? As if Sheena were like, Lisa,

if I don't talk to you about this right now. And the thing is now I've kind of been hating on the Lisa thing, even though it is Vanderpump rules. And again, guys, I know I wouldn't have had this opportunity without Lisa being on Housewives, owning Sir, and us having a show named after her. Okay? So this isn't a Lisa hating thing.

It's just sort of a show thing. But truly, as much as it sounds like I'm a hater, thank God for this isn't a Lisa hating thing. It's just sort of a show thing. But truly, as much as it sounds like I'm a hater, thank God for Lisa because a lot of them look like they kind of don't want to film together or like have these tough conversations. So Lisa is actually necessary now that I'm noticing to drive these storylines. And when I say storylines, I mean like the real things happening in the friend group. Right? You know what I mean? Yeah And it just gives this Lisa this persona being the mama bird and her burger, you know Hatchlings are off doing their own thing, but they come back to the nest once in a while to get some words of wisdom

I think that's what they're trying to show. Yeah or to like smash walls at her new restaurant in Tahoe Yeah, or that too. Yeah. Yeah, that's fun fun stuff But I love this little throwback for all you old school, like, OG Vanderpump watchers. Sheena's like, I cried so much my eyelashes hurt. I was like, come on, where's the montage of Sheena talking about her eyelashes? That's funny. It's happened for the last 11 years, but it's so good.

That's great. So yeah, they're talking about Sandoval, obviously, and the interaction and everything, just filling Lisa in with it all. And Sheena brings up the Dancing with the Stars. And how she heard from, not Ariana, but Ariana's boyfriend. Dan.

Dan. And it was kind of in passing. I'm certain Dan didn't mean to be the one to break it to her. It's just the way it happened. Yeah, I don't know. What are your thoughts on this? Here's the thing. I mean, Sheena's my friend. I love her to pieces. It's just the way it happened. Yeah, I don't know. What are your thoughts on this? Here's the thing. I mean, Sheena's my friend.

I love her to pieces. I love Sheena and Brock. But unfortunately, Luke and I are recapping this as viewers of a show that I was not around for. I didn't film with them. So I have to be honest about the way that I feel of what I'm watching on TV, right? So I've been, what did the kids say?

I stan Sheena. I'm all about Sheena this season. No cap. What no cap what did the kids say? Like I stan Sheena. Like I'm all about Sheena this season. And no cap. What no cap as the kids say? No cap. As the kids say. It means like no lie, right? Yeah.

Yeah, so I stan Sheena, no cap. But in this moment talking about Dancing with the Stars, I know as Sheena's friend, it has been something that's very important to her. It's something she's like really been excited about the possibility of doing but also like are you fucking kidding me? Well I think ultimately this is not that big of a deal and they didn't it has nothing to do with Ariana. It's not like Ariana went well you're gonna have me right and not Sheena like they came to Ariana. She's supposed

to turn something down and I know Sheena's saying that's not what she wants, but it's like almost in the same breath she's saying, but that was my thing. Look, but I can see how from her perspective, if she felt like Ariana was dodging telling her because she knew it would upset her, and then she finds out off-handedly from Dan to have emotions about it.

I understand. She would have feelings finding out the way she found out. So I will give credit to that and I didn't even know beforehand this is something big thing Sheena has wanted and ultimately the big picture of this Ariana did so well it probably opened the door for Sheena to have an opportunity down the road to be on Dancing with the Stars. That's a very good point. You know I think it'll happen for her. And I just also think that we all have to take the opportunities that are given to us because we don't know how long this window will last and

If someone got upset with me for starting a podcast because they all had a podcast or if I got upset With people that wrote a book after I wrote a book like what the fuck are we even doing? Multiple people have bars podcasts merch lines If I got mad at everyone who got a merch line because I have an actual graphic t-shirt clothing line that's not sayings, right? I think we all need to grab these opportunities by their nuts and ride with it. It is easy, and I'm not going to say that I've never been a little jealous or a little butthurt, but I'm able to easily calm myself down and go, I need to be proud of my friends

and celebrate every opportunity that they have. And so I do agree with you and I'm glad you have that perspective that she knows allowed to feel her feelings about this. I don't know, maybe it's the editing. It just came off like a bit of asshole ish is all. Yeah, I get. Yeah, it's jealousy. Anyway, here just brings us into the next part with Lala and Ariana and how Sheena wasn't defended by Ariana, how Lala says, Sheena got all this hate because of the picture where she had her arm around

or Tom Sandoval had his arm around her in a group photo in Tahoe and got all of this online hate and Ariana didn't say something about it, which is also kind of Lala's thing to say, tell people they're doing something wrong by not doing something. And at this point, you know, Ariana ends up doing it. She ends up making the post.

So she sees what Lala is saying, that coming to the defense of one of your best friends when she's getting all this hate and you know it. It's a tough road. Like I've been on both sides of it. And I can say something very similar about Sheena and I in the past has been that we do defend our friends. However, I've gone through a lot of things

and a lot of hate where no one in that group has defended me publicly online, except for Zach, truly. So it's something that my mom taught me a long time ago and it is a very tough pill to swallow and I still have issues with it. But it's just that like you can't essentially there's a quote but it's like you can't expect people to treat everyone the way you treat people. Thank you. Something to that effect. Yes. Yeah. And my mom told me that many years ago when I started Banner pump rules because I would get upset like I'm protecting all of these people or I'm

trying to or I'm defending my friends. I'm putting myself out there and no one seems to have my back they're still so concerned about themselves that they don't care about me and my mom was just like that's just life though and maybe you'll gravitate toward people that are more similar to you or maybe you'll find sort of the grace and the peace in your heart that you can accept that people are different and that's just kind of how it is. So I do see everyone's point of view in that situation. My personal opinion is you do need to stand up

for your friends when there's hate happening. But at the same time, I agree with Ariana because she's going through a lot, again, four months post-scandival. And she's like, I don't want another fucking headline. I'm tired of talking about it. And I don't wanna like re-bring up something new in the Skandival to like have it start all over again.

Right, that makes sense. Two things can be true at the same time. Absolutely, and this is still so fresh. So reminder there, and Ariana still has a ton of feelings about this as she should. So she didn't feel like that was a point where she needed to defend Sheena

because Sheena's arm was around Tom Sandoval And she's cutting off anybody that's associated with her So her with him and we'll get more into that a bit later at the horoscope party, right? Astrology right right because this gets brought up very hard ever. All right, so we're going to lunch Christina Kelly makes the appearance her and Katie are there first and Lala and Sheena trickle in. We find out that Summer broke her arm right in front of Sheena's eyes. She said it was like her worst nightmare and why she has fears of leaving her with a nanny is like heaven forbid that happens when she isn't there and has this whole mental, you know, like, oh, would that have happened if I was watching?

Was that their neglect? And then it happens right in front of her. Right. And I feel like, God, like it's so sad, Summer's so little, she broke her arm. But I remember when this happened and Summer was such a champ because Sheena and Brock are such good parents and they were there at the doctorate.

I remember seeing the videos and Summer's just like chillin', like, cool, I got a pink cast, people can write on it. Like she's just such a cool little toddler. But again, I'm not a parent yet, neither Luke or I are. However, I feel for Sheena in that moment because I feel like I'll probably be that helicopter bubble wrap everything mom for like a hot second until I'm used to it. But I think maybe this was the universe going, all right, Sheena, this is happening right now. So you can see everything is going to be okay. And you handled it really well, even

though it felt the anticipatory anxiety of something happening to Summer would kill Sheena on the inside. But it happened, and it's OK. Everyone's OK. And Summer's such a tough cookie. She's been raised so well by having this super sensitive side of Sheena. As we know, Brock is so sensitive as well,

but also very tough. It's like all this really strong, smart, tough love that they raised their child with. So it made me feel for Sheena, because I could not imagine my two-year-old breaking their arm and then just being like, not freaking out. Just cleanse, pat your skin dry, and apply twice daily. It's as simple as that.

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That's 15% off at oneskin.co with code Doty. And after you purchase, they're going to ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Help your skin stay younger and healthier for longer with OneSkin. Here come the carrots making their way upfield, followed by the whole wheat bread. Over to the two dozen eggs. healthier for longer with one skin. How would you like to pay sir? Credit, please make every purchase a win with the BMO Toronto FC cashback Mastercard with up to 5% cash back on your purchases in your first three months terms and conditions apply So that this lunch and they pretty much talked about Santa Vol go figure and It kind of sums up you probably have more to say about this than I do, but Katie calls Sandoval a demon when I think it was Lala kind of coming to his defense being like,

at some point we have to get over this. You know, it's not something that can like last forever. And I don't remember if she specifically said, you know, like, I get it still fresh because I don't think she said that. But it is something that time will fix. For sure. And this is something else that we get, this is kind of a theme, I think, for this whole episode is like Lala saying, I understand, but at some point it's going to eat away at

you and you have to move on from it. It's just for the, again, like, damn, it's been like five minutes for Ariana and she's made it clear. This is how she feels. Everyone just stop trying to convince everyone that she has to get over it. And I like that she has Katie on her side going, even though, I don't know, maybe Katie's intentions

are different because Katie's sort of history is like fuck Sandoval and kind of fuck Schwartz a little bit. So she's like, yeah, Ariana, fuck them. You don't need to feel any certain way these girls are telling you to. I think everyone, all of the girls are trying to help Ariana in their own way, and it's very conflicting, and it's probably a little overwhelming.

Because no one is wrong. None of the girls are wrong in how they're trying to help Ariana, but it can be overwhelming when you're going through something and you have all of these unsolicited advice coming at you. That's the name of the game, honey. Yeah.

I don't think they've, I've ever seen somebody asking someone else for advice in this show. It's friends, you know, kind of acting like they're there for them by telling them what they think they should do. And it's, yeah, it's kind of tough for me to watch because that's not something I ever have in my real life. Like I like the friends that respect my space and they're like, you know, I'll talk to you about it if you want.

It's not, hey, this is my thoughts on your life. This is what I think you should do when you didn't ask. I'll just flat out say I don't remember asking. It's usually my response when people talk to me like that. No, it can be really tough. And that's why, I mean, on a reality show, it's maybe a little different as well, because we all have to have opinions.

But I think that is the theme for this, is that in hindsight, the girls are all really just trying to do their best to help Ariana, but they all come from different walks of life and different experiences. At the end of this episode, Ali sort of wraps that up with a bow and says, we are all different at the end of this episode, Ali sort of like wraps that up with a bow and says, we are all different at the end of the day. So it's hard to keep in perspective. Sometimes

everyone being different is easy to accept, but some people being different, they're just assholes. There's people you need to not walk away from. You need to run away from those people are out there. So not going to try to spin everything in a positive light. Anywho, moving forward, Tom and Lisa now. Yeah, so Lisa is at TomTom and Sandoval comes in to talk to Lisa and Lisa's kind of filling Tom in that she's making changes to bring in a new chef and then in her interview bite sets because you see Sandoval kind of get a little like fidgeting in his seat. Well, like why did in shorts? And I know and Lisa says she would never consult a two and a half percent partner about changes to the restaurant. So I have feelings about this. I'd imagine because I have a lot of the name of the restaurant, regardless of interest. Correct.

It's TomTom. The branding, the reason people come in. Yes, it's because of Lisa and Ken. But it's also because it's called TomTom. And I have a lot of friends, especially in Los Angeles, who have owned restaurants or currently own restaurants. And when you are a very small percentage partner, you do not get to make those decisions or be a part of them.

But when the restaurant is named after you, and it's all about your branding and your intellectual property, to be honest, my personal opinion is I do think they should have been consulted. I think their opinion could have entered the conversation. Obviously, they don't have a big vote. I mean, if you sit on the board, if you are in a, this isn't a public company, I understand that.

But if you have a certain share, yeah, you don't have any final say. People are against you, you don't have any final say. People are against you. You don't have any say, but guess what? People, you still have a voice. Right. You don't get to make the decision, but you get some degree of a voice. So just, yeah, I think in what both of the Toms feel is that they would like to be involved.

And yes, at the end of the day, it is Ken and Lisa's say, but maybe they have really good ideas to throw that way. I agree. Anywho. Anywho. And they talk about Raquel. Raquel's the big part of this conversation. Huge.

You know, they mentioned Tahoe stuff. I was pretty shocked by this. If I'm gonna be honest, that Lisa had a conversation with Raquel. I, what? Really? I was very surprised. And if I'm being very transparent,

why do I think they had a conversation? Probably because Lisa wanted to make sure that she wasn't gonna get shit talked by Raquel now that we know all these lawsuits are coming out. That's what I think. I mean, I don't think that they were very close, but good for Lisa to like jump on that train and play chess. Right.

I mean, that's just my personal opinion. I'm not saying that I'm correct, but it did surprise me very much that this is this very intimate conversation between Lisa and Sandoval. And she's like, well, I've talked to her, kind of like, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. And you could see that Tom was like, duh fuck, like D-A-F-U-Q, duh fuck, what?

So Lisa tells Tom, she spoke to Raquel, that Raquel is not happy with Tom, and that essentially he was not good for Raquel at this rehab retreat spa program whatever it was and Tom's like well, I've been worried sick about her, but she did block me. So this is the first time I believe that we've heard Tom admit or Come out with the fact that now Raquel Rachel has blocked him right to my knowledge Yes, yeah, and that Rachel doesn't love him

and she felt manipulated by him. This is what surprised me about the Rachel Lisa conversation is that maybe I'm just not in the know, but I didn't know they had a relationship like that, that Rachel would not speak to anyone, but get on the phone with Lisa and say, I don't love Tom anymore, he really manipulated me. It just was a little baffling for me.

Yeah, that's fair. So what are you, what do you think about the whole conversation? You know, I think that'll come back up when he goes to talk about it on guy's night when we get there. So I'm ready to move forward to the last of Lisa's rounds. Now Lisa's with Lala and they're talking

about the sperm donor. So congrats to Lala being pregnant. That's out there now. Congrats. I think it's fantastic taking things into your own hands. I totally agree. I think if you want to have a baby, you want to have a baby.

She knows now she can do it on her own and she has her family to help her. And I'm so on board with that and congratulations that it worked out so quickly. Truly. I mean that. Good for you Lala. I'm happy for you. Happy you

have Easton and your mom. It made me really emotional when she said, I don't know why I'm getting emotional for real, but she said, Lisa was like, why do you want that? Don't you want to wait like to meet someone? And Lala said, well no one can ever come in and take it from me. Like that she doesn't have to share the baby on Christmas anymore Was like whoo-hoo That that hit me the heartstrings I mean still being in a custody battle There's trauma that won't go away until that is settled and then therapy be on top of that to really Move past that and be able to trust a man again

You know, you know Chris and you can speak from therapy and the kind of men you've dated that, you know, things have to come to an end and then the healing can start, but things still haven't come to an end between Lala and Randall. Right. So I think that's a huge thing that's holding her back from being back into dating

and giving a guy a chance to be trustworthy. Absolutely. So, you know. No, great point, yeah. Now, Kristen's favorite part. Oh God, this was tough. Little shorts and Girl Jo. We call her Girl Jo because we have a guy friend named Jo

so I'm probably gonna keep referring to her as Girl Jo. Don't kill me guys. Don't be too mean. I'm not gonna be mean because I've had a lot of feelings post this episode after talking with some friends but just to recap the scene, as you guys know, Joe, girl Joe is now at Sir with Schwartz and sits down with Allie and James and Allie says in an interview bite that she is

aware that a lot of the girls, especially Katie, have an issue with Joe. This is not a new thing. Correct, correct. And we have Schwartz setting up Guy's Night that he wants to do this cool steakhouse, rat pack dinner. He invites James. Sandoval comes in, and we have the sunglass situation. And this is kind of a theme that has also been a part of this particular season, is Sandoval sort of gifting people things

to buy their friendship, quote unquote. I just have to say, this is the only time we'll be like fucking negative, but Jo was driving me fucking crazy in the scene. I know that girl so well, but like the kissing of the ass and repeating whatever all the boys would say, it was like, she was like a parrot is how I felt. I don't know if she was nervous in the scene, if she was fucked up and drunk on tequila, or if this was just her way of wanting to feel included, but I just felt like every time Schwartz,

Sandoval, or James said something, she was like, oh my God, yeah, right? Yeah, yeah, totally, totally, totally. It's like, oh my God. And she was definitely jittery and amped up. It was like, I don't know, I only met her once. So I don't know her well. Seems like she's a very hyperactive,

always moving, jittery type person. So seems like that kind of fits her personality. Yeah, I mean, I think I've said this before, but I will say when, you know, I was friends with Jo for a very very very long time and her manic-ness, if you'll the chaos, like didn't really bother me when it was just Jo and I. It bothered me when we were around people that she made uncomfortable. It didn't really bother me when it was just Joe and I it bothered me when we were around people that she made uncomfortable It didn't really make me uncomfortable But watching it from the outside it makes me very anxious but just about the sunglasses again it was kind of like that was kind of a big part of this too was

Tom's giving Jay that cuz he lets James try them on and then says you can have them Right and James says says, you know, this guy's given me all these gifts and I still have every one of them. Blah, blah, blah. Cut to Ali interview. Sandoval is just trying to buy James back and James maybe doesn't notice or is just willing to take it. Yeah. And I don't know how I feel about that really. Like part of me thinks there's truth to that. And part of me just thinks that that's who santa ball is

Well, I know from Kyle Chan santa ball is a very giving person. He does give a lot of gifts to his close friends He's like me in that way He's very much like me in that way and I think it's because in knowing Tom as long as I've known him Back in the day like, you know, we didn't grow up with a lot. We didn't have money. We could barely pay rent so when you start making money and you're able to afford to pay for dinners or buy someone a gift to show your love, and that may be like his love language now that he's capable of doing so. Because that's something that I do that has definitely been brought up to me, Luke, not only by you, but other friends of mine that's like, that's not how you have to show me love you don't have to give me things because sometimes it does make people

feel uncomfortable right picking up a tab when everyone is successful at the table and it's not a special event is usually more likely to rub someone the wrong way than make them like super grateful because you know i don't know people just have their own perception of it unless somebody's a billionaire and you've got a bunch of people that maybe Just hit millionaire status, you know, I'd still let the billionaire pick up the tab Oh, especially if they invited it out and it was their whole event. That's another aspect But if it's like one person invites everyone to a group and then somebody in the group picks up the whole tab When everyone's kind of on the same level, it's weird

It can make people feel as if like they're doing this so you owe them later But what you just said Luke about like that it's all perception, I think is also sort of the theme of this episode. Again, like everyone's a little bit different. Everyone has a perception of something and they have their own past. And so, yeah, it's like, is Sandoval doing this out of good graces? Because this is just who he is. Or is he really trying to buy a friendship? Right.

And I'm somewhere in the middle. And Ali's relatively new to the group She hasn't been around the whole time last year to write two years maybe Anyway, so she doesn't have a full perspective on everything. She is the astrologist or whatever It's written in the stars babe, anyways So let's get this whole now we stick with girl Joe and we have Jo and Tom at some Mexican place, looks like it's in North Hollywood. Jo wants to do a shot and a beer.

So then there's this little bite that Tom Schwartz said and I've rewound it a couple times and I'm still not sure what he was saying, but he said, just to be clear, Jo and I were never in a, either he said former or formal relationship. He meant to say formal. Formal. Yes, and but- They were never in a, either he said former or formal relationship. He meant to say formal. Formal.

Yes, and but- They were never boyfriend girlfriend. Yeti says she's a great cup of tea. It was a weird, it was like an awkward feeling scene at the same time. They kind of looked like a good pair at that moment because they kind of like matched in a way. Their mannerisms matched, their energy matches.

Exactly, their energy matched and it did come off like those two could be a good pair. I think that's when you're like too similar to someone. I think Tom has now put her in the friend zone, but Tom very admittedly is like me sort of in this way where you just like company around unless you need your alone time. But I started after this episode and I got to sit with it for a bit and talk to some friends mutual friends of mine and Joe's and Dare I say even Katie Maloney and we kind of started feeling bad for Joe because it's like Schwartz is stringing her along a bit We don't I don't know what is going on behind closed doors, but I do know that at this time

They were texting a whole lot They were still hanging out a whole lot even though Schwartz was being honest with her and said, I've set boundaries, we're not together. When you still act like. That's where I was going. Go for it, cause you're the dude. I've been there before. I've been the Schwartz in that and been in a place where I'm very open at the start.

I repeat it throughout that I'm not in a place where I can get into a serious relationship. That's not just where I am in my life, in my head. I enjoy what we're doing, but like I don't want to lead you on. So you can say all these things and they are heard. However, like you just said, actions speak louder than words. And I had to learn this lesson the hard way is that they can hear it, but not believe it. And that's a common thing. They hear it, but they don't believe it because of the actions because they're like, oh, he'll change his mind. This is a period he's in right now. If I hang around long enough, he'll come out of it.

He's going to see how great we are together and all these things. Yes, that exists. I have been shorts in that situation. And you end up being the asshole, even though you don't feel like it because you're like, I was upfront. I said it at the beginning.

I said it all throughout. I kept saying these things, but doing something differently. If you keep sleeping together, you keep texting all the time, keep doing these things, that doesn't really demonstrate that you mean what you said. One million percent. Luke, when you and I started Sex, Love, What Else Matters,

this was one of the first topics we talked about, and that we talked about pretty often in the very beginning of like, when you're just friends, or are you friends with benefits, and at what point does that take a turn? typically in my personal experience and in yours, it's the female, the girl in the relationship who's the one being like, well, I mean, he's texting me all day long, but then he's saying like, oh, I mean, no, I'm not ready for a relationship. He'll get it. It's like full circle for us because I really, I agree with you wholeheartedly and I don't think Schwartz has

Malintentions or ill intentions. He's not trying to hurt her but Tom, you know what you're fucking doing I don't know that he does entirely I think I'm telling you from being there You don't know you think you are being the stand-up guy because you are saying it and you're repeating it and it's not being heard And then it's gonna blow up in your face at some point at least in My experience it did blow up in your face and be like, yeah, I heard you say that but then why did you do this? Why did you do that? Why'd you cuddle me when we were, you know, staying together? Why'd you kiss my forehead? Why'd you do these things and it's just like whoo. Okay. Those are actually solid points. I Can get behind that I thought just saying the words was enough. Nope

No, and then we get to the little interview bite, by the way, girl Jo has a fucking interview bite. That was wild for me. I'm like, she's sitting in my old studio. Holy moly. But the interview bite is, when did you and Jo, when were you intimate last, I think is how that was worded. And you can just see Tom squirming in his chair,

like, I don't know. And then cuts to Jo about a month ago. And we talked feelings. So definitively. Yeah cuts to Joe about a month ago. And so definitively. Yeah, she's about a month ago. And you know, I really think we caught it started to catch feelings. What else did she say? No. And Tom then says like we reestablished boundaries recently, but then under his breath, they give us the little subtitles.

He goes, I hope she's not mad at me for this. Exactly. Because she doesn't feel that way. She's I mean, you can see it in her eyes. She's in love with him. And heavily infatuated, she's in love with him. Heavily infatuated, maybe not in love, but anyway. But he also, sorry I interrupted you again, but he also said in the moment,

I'm so like, oh right now, because I like this back and forth between you and I, the male female. But Short says at the bar to Joe, in a different timeline, we could be living happily ever after. Why did you even say that, you do-mas? Yeah, that's not

What do you expect she's gonna think and then she says like so to you said two three years So when you're like 43, he's like more like 47. So now you got the bitch hanging on Going Schwartz will be 47 in five years. He's just got to get through all these girls He's gonna date but by 47 we're gonna get married That's what I heard like the hope of see I didn't hear that and I get what he was trying to say get through all these girls he's gonna date, but by 47, we're gonna get married. That's what I heard, like the hope of. See, I didn't hear that and I get what he was trying to say. Like, don't hold your breath is really what he was saying.

But why saying it to all? By saying 47, I'm not disagreeing with that. I'm not saying that he's doing it all perfectly, but maybe he's never, he and Katie were together for so long, maybe he's not done this. I've done this in my past already. Good point.

Maybe he's not already had a friendship, friends with benefits, you know, friendly, flirty type of relationship where this happens. If you'd have an experience, it's not something people talk about. There's no guidebook for a guy. And it's normal for guys to think that if they communicate it, it will be taken seriously.

But that's not the case. Actions speak louder than words. They have to match. Yeah, I just think it's the perfect example. The chaos of trying to have a platonic relationship post having sex. Like it wasn't like they hooked up one time. And they're like, Okay, that was great, but didn't work out. Let's just go back to being friends. They had a period of time, they caught feelings. They were sleeping together. And now they're like, let let's just be buddies now. That's a tough pill to swallow. Yeah, that's a dangerous road to go down. There will be jealousy. Undoubtedly. Alright. Okay, so now we're at the guys girls night. Guys girls night.

Back and forth, back and forth. Guys night we have Brock, Tom, Tom and James. Can we talk about the red card green card? Yes, so the red card, green card, if you don't know what- Can I say what I thought it was? Yes, it's a coaster actually. It's one of the throwaway coasters, red on one side, green on the other. And this is always what happens when it's a red card,

like it's a coaster that they give you at these restaurants? No, some of them are actually not a throwaway coaster. Some are like a- Like a wooden thing or- Wood or acrylic or whatever that has green and around the other side that they just reuse. They have so many of them. Okay, yeah, so I want Luke to explain it all,

but I immediately assumed it was the thing where you put your phone in the middle. In this moment, I was like, oh, they probably have their phone in their pockets and whoever takes their phone out, you have to pay for the whole meal. You've never heard of that, Luke? Never heard of that.

Where you put your phones in the middle of the table and whoever reaches for their phone for it's like a phone free dinner So you get to just experience hanging out with each other and whoever goes for their phone first They didn't play by the rules and they have to pay for the meal So I thought this was their way of instead of putting the phones in the middle It was like if you put the red part up It means you're gonna get your phone and you're screwed but at the end Schwartz does the red flip and they say, I think Brock says, like, you can't eat any more meat.

And I was like, what in the hell is going on right now? So will you please explain red card, green card? I will, but I have to say something about your little phone game thing. Because I'm never playing that with you because you want to pick up the tab anyway. I'll also win. Will you? Yeah, I'll put my phone on fucking airplane mode. Won't even look at it.

Just cause it's on airplane mode doesn't mean you won't grab it first. I won't grab it. I love a good challenge. How about we put a different bet on it than picking up the tab? Okay. Sexual hoaxers?

Oh, sexual hoaxers. Done, let's do it. Okay, perfect. Okay, explain red card, green card. Okay, so this is a Brazilian steakhouse specifically. There are a number of different chains or just restaurants that do this. There are these servers called gauchos

that just carry big skewers of meat around and if your card is green, they come by and ask if you want it and they just shave it off with a knife onto your plate and they will keep coming if they see a green card and all these people with different meats are walking around looking for green cards to bring meat to and when it's red, they'll stop coming up to you. That's how it works

No shit. My mouth is wide open right now. I'm like, huh? What? I've never been to a Brazilian steakhouse clearly So vegetarians out there you're probably with me on this most of a pretty killer salad bar, though So what you is it like you pay like one price? Yes, so you're not choosing from a menu It's a flat fee and then you buy your drinks. No shit. Okay, that's like a fun guys night type thing. Oh, it's so fun. I love it. All right, well thank you for cleaning that up. One week, last year or the year before,

in one week I was at two different Brazilian steak houses, one in Indianapolis and one in Denver. Did you have meat sweats? Yes. I heard that's a real thing. It is. I don't know the science behind it, but if you eat enough meat, you will start sweating.

Gross. I know, it is kind of gross to think about it. It's like red meats, yeah. Yeah, I didn't know it was a thing. So let's just talk about guys night for a second. Sandoval brings up that Lisa told him that she spoke to Raquel, but he says he doesn't want to talk about it in front of JK.

I loved so much that Brock's next, the next thing was said was Brock looked at Tom and said, what was your perception of what you were told? I don't know why that just like floored me instead of going, so what happened? It was, what was your perception? Well, it's not something you'd hear any of the other guys say. Definitely not. That's the thing. Only Brock.

Yeah, exactly. Only Brock. That's why you'd hear any of the other guys say. Definitely not. That's the thing. Only Brock. Yeah, exactly. Only Brock. That's why I love Brock. Same. It's like a fucking therapist. So Tom obviously tells the story and Schwartz is like, dude, you gotta go out dating again. And Sandoval is like, dude, I haven't dated in like 15 years.

And so of course I did the girl math and I was like, was that true? Okay, no, he's right. It was 15 years. But that doesn't mean- Because he jumped relationships by cheating. It wasn't. I was just, literally what I was like, was that true? Okay, no, he's right. It was 15 years. But that's because he jumped relationships by cheating. I was just literally what I was thinking is, but how many girls did he sleep with? I mean, and he wouldn't be if Raquel stayed with him. I think he'd be dating Raquel if Raquel didn't move on for now. Sure. For now.

But I'm saying this is a repeating cycle and him being in a single mode, which is probably going to be good for him, to be honest. For sure. Yeah, not getting out of it because when one, well, the next relationship starts before the last one ended is the way it worked before Ariana. That is obviously not healthy either. And the same thing was happening with Raquel.

And Raquel stepping away might be the best thing that ever happened to Tom. Very good point. Any other thoughts about Boy's Night? Not really. That's about it. So let's talk about Ali's house. Well, yeah, Ali's house.

So we have Katie, Ariana, Lala, Ali and Sheena. Ali has pulled their birth charts and she kind of gives them a little heads up on like, this is the overall or like the synopsis of what I saw for you for each girl. Basically all she's saying is that everyone's different, you know, and these are the ways she wraps it up. And I don't want to skip to this yet

because there's a lot of stuff that happens before she wraps it up with a bow saying, if we can just understand each other's birth charts, we can all just get along. I like that Ariana was able to, and chose to talk about like the house and the money thing because everyone has these assumptions that she's just this like multimillionaire,

brand deals up the wazoo big beautiful house blah blah blah blah and I think that is a preconceived notion that a lot of people have about people in reality TV is that like there's all this money there's not all this money and I thought it was really well of Ariana to discuss that I will say to the average person watching this, it is still a lot of money, but it is not millions and millions of dollars, a lot of money.

You are making more money than most people. I agree. But when you take on other entrepreneurial endeavors, like Schwartz and Sandy's bar, like the something about her, like it costs, they each spent probably six figures plus on getting this thing started, which is why

I'm never getting into a food industry. Same thing. Well, into service food industry. We may start a popcorn company. Anyway, stick around to hear more about that. That's a very good point. I'm not trying to dumb down that everyone's broke or something. So thank you for making that clear.

But I do think the overall of what we've watched this season is kind of everyone going, oh my god, poor Ariana. She got cheated on, but look how well she's doing now. She also, Tom wouldn't leave the house. She had to spend money on an Airbnb. She opened up a restaurant. So I'm just glad that she got to clear that up for people, that it wasn't the easiest thing in the whole wide world.

So at the end of the day, they're talking about like sort of James and Sandoval and their friendship and Ariana is saying that she would cut James out as well. Basically it's like everyone, the overall theme of the end of this scene is everyone's afraid of losing Ariana is what the girls are saying. And when Lala says, well, time passes and healing starts, I agree with that very much. However, it did rub me the wrong way in a sense, because like I keep repeating, Ariana

hasn't had the time at this moment. Months, a few months. Hasn't been a year, a year and a half, two years, multiple years for her to separate herself from all of this. So I just wish everyone would give her a little bit more grace and allow her the time to heal and not repeat this. But at the same time, she's on a television show where you got to talk about it.

So it's a double edged sword, essentially. Agreed. So we're going to jump to the Katie and Bala. Yeah, I don't know. Oh, yeah, I do have a comment about that. About the James, Ariana, all of that. So Ariana, they talk about James being at this guy's night and a statement Ariana made just didn't click with me. Well, it stood out to me

because it didn't seem accurate or right. What was it? Saying that James must not respect himself enough to go hang out with Tom when he could just go hang out with his other friends. And I don't think it's about respecting himself. This is about you, Ariana. He doesn't respect you enough to cut him off for that sake. I don't think hanging out with somebody that did something like that to another friend in the group, I just can't, it's hard for me to buy into everybody cutting someone off unless it is,

I mean cheating. Well, because it's never really happened except for when everyone cut me off other than Sheena. And my opinion on this, whether it's James, James's loyalty to Ariana, or this so-called huge best friendship that they're painting of he and Tom, I personally think James will do whatever is best for the show and for his storyline. And I don't think it matters who he's upsetting or being loyal to when it comes to Tom or Ariana. Right. And I do think, I mean, it didn't blow up like this, but truly, it's awful what Sandoval did, but it's not worse than what Randall did to La La. It's not worse than what James did to you. It's not worse than some of these other things that have gotten swept under not swept under the rug, but kind of passed over a little quicker

So, you know, it's a matter of the media kind of making this just a monstrous thing I 100% understand Ariana being hurt beyond belief when she someone she thought was one of her best friends I've been sleeping with her boyfriend for months behind her back. That is fucking awful can't imagine experiencing that. And time has not passed for her to, you know, cope with it all. At the same time, I can't see having that happen and cutting off my friends

because they were associated with them when they're still on my side. Like it's still in a big friend group, right? To just completely cut somebody out and be like, if they're ever even fucking around, if they're around at all, if there's a picture of you guys together, I don't even wanna see your face.

I couldn't do it. That's not how I'd be. So. See, and I wish I could, because I feel for and agree with Ariana in this moment. I've just not been able in my own life to exercise those feelings, because sometimes I'm a big giant pussy,

and I just want peace. So I choose to be upset at home and not. So I just, I don't know, right now, right now in this season, what we're watching, I just, I feel for Ariana's boundaries and I'm glad that you and I don't agree on this because that's more interesting. There's just a difference between celebrating somebody that did something horrible and not completely cutting them off. Like if you don't completely cut them off, you're not celebrating them. You're still not cutting them off. Like if you don't completely cut them off, you're not celebrating them, you're still not cutting them off

because you wanna give them the peace of your mind. You wanna let them know that you think they really fucked up. And if that level of association, like trying to actually hash things out and get things and maybe come back to Ariana, obviously not with a perspective. She's not gonna wanna hear any perspective from him,

but to be like, he's still an asshole. He said this shit to me. I was giving him a chance and this is what happened. I just feel like at this point, Arianna is going to get upset if anybody gives him a chance even. Yeah. And I think a lot of, I think both Sheena and Lala have said this in different ways that the stance that they're taking is about the hate in her heart or that's their verbiage

of it, right? Is like, we don't want you to hate in your heart. And Ariana's like, I don't have hate in my heart. I just don't want to be around him. And so again, we're going back to like everyone's own personal history with their own lives and their own pasts. And when they've dealt with things that are very similar, where they're like, I've been through this. You don't want to do that to yourself.

And I do agree with Lala and Sheena in that way. But at the same time, when you're feeling how you're feeling, when Ariana, the way she's feeling right now and the way she's expressing herself, in this moment, you just want your friends to be there for you. And maybe you can't say definitively, you're right. You know what? Fuck Tom.

We'll all hate him too. But you don't need to like challenge her in this moment necessarily. I agree. Maybe just be there for your friend is all I'm saying. Sheena said it best as far as saying she felt it was best to keep her mouth closed and just sit back and watch when she was there.

Sometimes that's the best thing you can do because you're not gonna win. She does need more time and continuing to push, you're never gonna win. Yeah, absolutely. And there was just this small part where Katie and Lala have this little bit of beef, and Lala's telling Katie to disengage,

and they're both being a little sassy toward each other. And I think it was Katie's interview, but it could be wrong, but someone said Lala just thinks hers is worse. Yours always has to be bigger. I think something like that. Yours always has to be bigger, I think is what it is. You're right. But trust me, I agree with that. I do think Lalo puts that on sometimes,

but when I got to sit back and think for a moment, I'm like, you know what? We all feel that way when we're in the thick of whatever our hurt is that we're going through. We all think it's bigger. I mean, maybe not you, Luke. I'm just saying the girls in this group that I've been with for a long time, I can empathize and sympathize with a lot of them, but at times I still think my shit is bigger. Like, why aren't people understanding me? Mine's bigger than yours is.

Like you only got cheated on. Guess what happened to me? And Lala's kind of like, I have Ocean for the rest of my life, my beautiful daughter. I have to deal with him forever, so mine's bigger. But it's bigger to you. Right now this is bigger to Ariana. And when Sheena's gone through stuff, when Katie's gone through stuff with Tom Schwartz, that's bigger to Katie than any of this other shit is.

So if everyone can kind of chill for a second and go, you're not allowed to have feelings because mine's bigger. And understand that to us in our feelings, ours is always going to be bigger. Does that make sense? Yeah Okay, maybe girls girls. Yeah, I'd be more like I don't want to talk about it. Let's talk about anything else What do you have going on? My approach to it, right? So I don't know if Katie and Lala get along now I know they're shooting the reunion today. So I hope that they are but the When Lala's freaking out and like she's like you're making me have to go on defense mode

Drives me crazy because no one's making you do shit When Lala's freaking out and she's like, you're making me have to go on defense mode, drives me crazy because no one's making you do shit. So I hate when people can't take accountability for their own feelings, thoughts, and actions. There's that word. Accountability, I need to erase that from my mouth. But then kudos to Ali for just trying to sort of kumbaya this at the end and and saying

you know if we all like what you said Luke if we all understand birth charts we will all get along yeah don't think that's really gonna work is it planet of the apes when they're like why can't we all just get along you know the line yeah I don't I think it's planet planet of the apes but I'll look it up yeah so then there's just a big giant still to come and it ends with, why is Jax Taylor hosting a brunch at Sir? I don't even know. So don't ask me. The motherfucking valley. I actually didn't know he did either. I wasn't invited,

but I'm hoping it's something about the valley. It might be. I don't know. Honestly, I have no idea. So stick with it, stick with us. Yeah, and the Valley comes out in just a couple days. Tuesday the 19th, 9 p.m. local time, watch it. Or else, I don't know why you're listening to this podcast. So thanks for listening everyone. We will have more out sooner than later. Yes, we've had a long fucking week.

It's been a long week. Cheers to the Valley, March 19th, Tuesday. Let's go. Whoop whoop. Bye. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Doty and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke double underscore

Broderick. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes every single Wednesday. Thanks for listening. See you next week.