Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - Let’s Talk About Sex!

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

Episode 4. Ooh la la, this is a sexified episode! Kristen and Luke dive right in to discuss “cliteracy”, squirting, and the Big O (with some brutal honesty about faking orgasms!). They debate all things porn and where they stand when it comes to privacy in relationships. Luke ruffles Kristen’s feathers as to whether Only Fans is cheating or not? Listen for Kristen’s… passionate response! Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick. Email us: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey everybody, what is going on? Hope you're all having a magical week. Welcome back to Sex Love and what else matters? Welcome back everybody. I hope you're excited for this one. We're going to talk about my favorite subject today. What's your favorite subject Luke? I like to talk about sex. Oh Some sexy ass shit sexy ass shit, not all ass shit. Some you know some ass shit. Are we gonna talk about some ass stuff? Maybe you're gonna talk to a little C. All right. Yeah Luke and I Were just I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm almost about to ovulate. I just got off my period and I'm feeling a little sassy, a little horny, a little sexy. I also recently did my friend, Jess's podcast called Slobbs. You guys should follow SlobbsPod on Instagram, but right when

I sat down with her, we started talking about squirting. So. That can be fun. Yeah, squirting just was on my mind today. So welcome to the podcast. Welcome, welcome back. This is gonna be a fun one. And Kristen keeps putting me off wanting to talk about sex, but here we are. I know, I'm always like, I mean,

we talk about sex all the time, but I guess we just haven't really dove in to like the nitty gritty. What is it, too dirty? No. This stuff I wanna talk about. No, I love it. That's what we're here to do.

You just have to be in the mood. I do have to be in the mood, because otherwise I wanna talk about like the psychology of relationships and all of that, possibly mundane bullshit. Yeah. So boys, this is for you probably, right? And ladies.

It's for everybody. Come on, everyone wants to know. About squirting? Well, yeah, most people. Okay. How do you feel about squirting? Me? Do you like when you can, have you ever,

have you made a girl's skirt before? Yes. And with fingering or like p to the v. Both. Okay, and how do you feel about it? Do you feel like championed? Do you feel like you have a trophy? So satisfying.

But there was also a girl that squirted relentlessly, we'll say, every time. And it was like part of the sex preparation was making sure we had towels down because otherwise Literally the mattress was soaked. It was it was and Just incredible amount or volume of every single time you had sex. Yes, every single time multiple times It was I mean, and we talked about it. She orgasm every time. I guess I've never actually googled The relationship to squirting in an orgasm.

Like, does she squirt, is she squirting when she's not even getting off yet? That's a good question. I think it would have to be. I'm gonna Google it while you tell your story. Yeah, it'd have to be tied to an orgasm, I would think. But when she and I talked about it, she said it was something that she learned how to do

and it was kind of like a muscle that she can squirt more, like she was able to squirt more and more when she tried to. So with masturbation or with sex and this sort of thing. Like kegels, kegel exercises. That's something to that effect. I don't have a vaginus.

So I don't really know how all the muscles work or how you could force yourself to. This is why we don't do WebMD people because I just Googled, literally a Googled squirting as relates to orgasms. And the first thing that popped up is WebMD saying that it includes a rapid ejection of urine from the bladder.

What? I've read that it's like 90% urine. Like that it's both. Yeah, but my understanding is it's not coming out of like you're re-throw. You're not peeing. It's still coming out of your vagina. Yeah, we're going to have to ask a talk about this. Yeah, a recent study is shown there's a difference between squirting female, oh, female

ejaculation. I don't know. I'm reading both. Hmm. Interessante. Well, I wish I hadn't read that because I have been fortunate enough to squirt. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. In my personal experience, it mostly comes from fingering. I've seen it more when we're having sex. Like P2V. Yes. Yeah.

P2V sexual intercourse. There are certain positions for sure when you can hit the spot. What do the wait tell us? What are they? You know, I don't know names of these positions, but I can illustrate, I guess. Okay. Paint us a picture. Okay, so. So not machinery is what I'm guessing. So you know you say with the fingering,

can make you come, it's from that. Like the come here motion. Yeah, yeah, it's a spot up on top, like if you're on your back, it's on. So it's on top. Anyway, so if you can like. We're painting a picture for you guys, so it's a spot up on top. Like if you're on your back, it's on. So it's on top. Anyway, so we're painting a picture for you guys. So it's not the like in and out with two fingers or the one finger because that is boring as shit.

Right. Just like a curl and whatever that's whatever they call that spot of top and side. Anyway, is it the G spot? It's like the spongey spot. I think it's the spongey spot. Yeah. Yeah.

Just finding ways to hit that. So if you're, say in like a missionary position, you get some pillows or some sort of wedge or something to raise the hips up. So you're hitting more at that angle. Oh yeah. It makes it more stimulated and that can lead to that. It's also more comfortable.

Yeah, that, wait, what's more comfortable? More comfortable like having the hips raised as a chick. Okay. Rather than just being like flat on your back, it can get a little like, huh, you're not really hitting the spot, you know? Right, that's true, I guess. Unless you have a giant head.

I don't know, yeah. I don't really know. I haven't had a penis inside of me, so nothing really. It's a shame you don't have a vagina. No, I definitely don't. So there's that, and then the other side of it that I understand is it's like a matter of being relaxed. So extended foreplay can lead to a higher likelihood of squirting during intercourse. Because you're like ramping yourself up.

Right, right. Yeah. Delaying that orgasm and then you have that like those intense like contractions when you do finally orgasm. Yeah. Get them cause it. Yeah. Who doesn't want an explosive orgasm like then you have those intense contractions when you do finally orgasm. Yeah. Get them to cause it, yeah. Who doesn't want an explosive orgasm? Like, oh my god.

No, like shaking orgasm. Yeah. Both men and women. Have you ever faked an orgasm as a dude? So I read something the other day and I know the question might have sounded stupid because how as a man do you fake one without actually ejaculating? But I did read something the other day I found fascinating. and do you fake one without actually ejaculating? But I did read something the other day

I found fascinating, is that men can actually train their bodies to orgasm without ejaculating. Yes, to agreeing on both counts. Yes, I have faked an orgasm before. And yes, I believe that can happen. And back in college, there were times that masturbating, I didn't have a situation where I wanted to, like, have to clean anything up and was able to do it

a few times and I was like, well, this is stupid. Yeah, it's almost painful. For me, it was. Like, you were, you were like, oh my God, this is awesome, but nothing came out. Like, you stopped yourself. It's not how a male orgasm works. It's like, you build up to a certain point where you can't.

Well, because the orgasm comes first, and then you ejaculate. I think it's simultaneous. I mean, well, not what I read. It's fairly close to being simultaneous, but what I read said that it's like the orgasm, then you ejaculate. You're going through the orgasm essentially. The end of your orgasm is like when you started ejaculating. Right.

So I guess similar to squirting where if you want to be able to do it more and better and some muscle you can train, once you figure out how to do it. I want to train that muscle. That's the kind of workout I'm into. Yeah, it's got to be some special kind of kegels, right? Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I worked out today. I worked out whole morning.

Six sets of 20. Yeah, sure did. Hells yeah. Yeah, I think it's a muscle for guys too. There's male kegels. You know, that gives you more control. Like in your butt? So it's all tied together.

So if I like clench my butt, I can feel it at like the base of my dick. Can we discuss how your dad is like a butt doctor? Is that why you know that? No, okay. Did your... Did pops tell you? No, my dad has never been open about. He's a proctologist, you guys. Yes, he is. This is true. He's a doctor of the beehull. I got all the jokes growing up. I've had to do one of them. So your dad did not train you about like, but whole things sex wise. No, he's more schooled in the colon and rectal cancer in Hemeroyd realm. Okay, well they did make this dark.

That's not making it dark. You're the one that brought him into this. I was just asking if he ever talked to you about like butt sex or anything like that. My dad and I never talked about sex. Actually the most I've talked to him about sex was talking about this podcast with him last time I saw him.

Yeah, it can be weird for some people. He had some ideas. He thought it was actually a great idea, which surprised me, because I'm like, this is, I never got the birds and bees to all grown up. That was, it was. Do you think your dad would ever be a guest on this podcast to talk about rectal health?

Talk about, yeah. Man kegels, is it the clenching of the butthole or is it have something to do with your penis? Cause your penis is a muscle, but I cannot imagine how you, can you squeeze your penis the way we do kegels? We can like flex our penis. So like the way you flex your bicep.

Yeah, penis is definitely the most fun. Since it's like more so. So when you flex, that's also like a kegel, but so when you know, full heart on going, kegel, but so when, you know, full heart ongoing, it can make it get fatter, like push his blood into your dick. GERTHYER. Essentially, yeah, maybe gets a hair longer,

but essentially, just a hair, just a hair, you know, a couple hairs, I guess. Maybe half a centimeter, I don't know. So you do have control over the flexing of your penis. Yep, and my boho. Which, yeah, and your boho. Okay, well, that's good to know. Have you ever, like, let's say your habit, because I know that I've done this before,

I've been having sex where you're like, you're inside of the girl, and then you like flip positions without pulling out, right? You've done this. So I read that you can like fracture your penis that way. You know what the most common position is for those kind of incidents, for a man to have a broken dick. No.

It's woman on top. Is that right back and forth? Oh, yeah. Yeah, cause I'm not like a porn star. I can't do the whole pumping up and down thing, like with my feet down, like it's just too much to concentrate on and it doesn't touch the clip. I want the clip to be touched. That's fair. I want men to be literate. Do you remember when we learned about literacy? Oh, yeah. It's actually a Dr. Laurie Mintz is the one who wrote a book

called Becoming Literate, Why orgasm equality matters. That is not the doctor that we heard on a podcast. We listened to some podcasts when we were on a road trip together. I remember that. Lori Mints is the one who actually wrote this book about being clitter it. And then I found out that the clip has,

guess how many nerve endings? 8,000. Is you know that because you read my notes? No, I didn't read your notes. You little shit. How did you know that? I know sex facts. I love sex.

How did you know it was 8,000 exactly? Well, I know this stuff. Well, I did not know that. And it is the number one hot spot for nerve endings in the female body. Anyone's body? Well, men don't have Clits, but you know what I'm saying. But the tip of a man's penis, I believe is half.

It's like 3,500 to 4,000. That sucks for you guys. We don't get the intense, there's not as intense, they don't last as long, like literally, in the purpose of a clip is literally for pleasure. That makes sense. That's why I don't understand, and I'm not shaming anyone,

but when I hear about women that are incapable of having orgasms in general, I get not having like the intercourse p to the v. That's definitely a thing that you cannot orgasm that way. Like a lot of people don't. But just like, play around down there by yourself. Use a toy, use a loob, use your hand. The first time I ever had an orgasm, I was like riding a pillow, I guess a teenager. I don't even know why. I don't even know how it happened, why. I wish I could remember, but I just know that that's what happened.

And I was like, oh, hello. I just feel like, who are you? I feel a little pressure down there. And it felt good, so I was like, keep going. Yeah. When I wake up with morningwood, I find myself kind of humping a pillow sometimes and I'm waking up. So it makes sense to me.

OK. OK. First time. I remember the very vividly the first time I ever ejaculated. First time I ever came. I was probably like 12 or 13. But I was in the bathroom looking at my mom's victorious

secret magazines or catalogs, whatever. And I remember it just felt good and I just kept doing it. And then all of a sudden stuff came out and I'm like, that's not pee. And you like didn't even know. I mean, that's pretty young. It's not like, I mean, my understanding. Your parents weren't going to be like, so let's talk about safe sex and don't get girls pregnant when you're 12, you know? Right, well actually, so my understanding of how babies were made, because I never had this conversation, was when a guy pees inside of a girl,

that was my understanding. Oh my God, that's precious and weird as fuck at the same time. Right, but it's not that far off for like a preteen, does no like no experience, no anything, never had the conversation. It's actually closer than the store or any of these other wild stories they tell kids.

But thank God, like just thank God you were young enough to not actually try that. To not try that, yeah. Wait, I wanna go back to you said you faked an orgasm before. How did you fake an orgasm? Like you just faked that you came and like faked that you wiped it off or something or did you use an orgasm? Like you just faked that you came and fake that you wiped it off or something? Or did you use a condom?

Okay, that was what I was going to get to. With a condom, it's very doable. Or if you are with a significant other and not pulling out because of birth control or you're trying to advocate or whatever reason are like the only times I think you can actually pull it off. So what happened with you? Or have you done this? Like, have you done, or yeah, okay. I've definitely faked orgasms during phone sex.

Oh, I thought you said butt sex. Oh no, I said phone sex. Phone sex. Oh, okay. Well, when it helps your partner, when they want to, have you done this like often? Only a couple times. Okay, interesting.

And when you did it, was it, was it always because you wanted to please your partner Often? Only a couple times. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. And when you did it, was it always because you wanted to please your partner and making them think you got off, or was it because you were just like over it? I can't speak for all men, but I would hope most men enjoy the experiencing or assisting in a female orgasm. If you don't, why are you even having sex? You're some selfish asshole need to be. Wait, can you say that one more time? If you don't have interest in assisting or experiencing

a female orgasm with your contribution then you're a selfish asshole. You heard it here first. That was poetry. That's my take on it. I know that I get far more satisfaction. I love sex. I just love sex.

There's times I don't get off at all and and person I'm with can get off a couple times. And she might ask, okay, are you going to come this time? And I'm like, yeah, maybe we can go for it or I'm cool. This has been fun. Which I also understand because selfishly I am having sex because I want, number one, normally because I want connection, sometimes just to get off. But I'm certainly not having sex just to please the other person unless they're my partner. If I'm having sex with someone who's

not my significant other, I'm doing it selfishly. However, it is hot to know that you're turning someone else on. So that's why I give blow jobs. I have friends who say they love giving blow jobs. I am not one of those people. I don't enjoy it. I don't think it's fun. However, it does make me happy to be pleasing my partner. But I don't give blow jobs to strangers. That's good. It's good everyone to know that.

So if you were hitting on Kristen and you see her in public, just not gonna get in. Do not get in the head. But would you go down on a girl who's not someone that you actually really care about? Like a one night stand type thing? I have. Okay. And I think that's a certain level of intoxication as well. That's like that you're going to say intimacy. No, I'm going with intoxication. Just if I'm I'm hammered and you know, we're getting after and I'm still like, you don't always get all the way up. We'll say I get to like 80%.

Oh, you have whiskey dick. Sort of, yeah, whiskey dick. That's what they call it, right? Right, yeah. Well, people have different definitions of whiskey dick. I've talked to my guy friends about this. Okay, wait, do tell. Some of us call it like not being able to get it up all the way,

and others say it's just when they literally can't get off. They can still get hard enough to have sex, but then they're like, it's just, they're so desensitized that getting off is not gonna happen. That's what they call whiskey dick. There are times where I am so drunk, there is no erection that is going to happen. Nothing is going to be-

But you're fine with going down on someone that you don't know well. When I'm drunk, I wouldn't do sober. Okay. But yeah. To me, oral sex is just so intimate. And I know this might sound like weird to some of y'all where it's like, oh, well, sex is an intimate. No.

Fucking to me is an intimate. I think making love is intimate. I think trying new things with someone experiences are very intimate, but I don't think just fucking is very intimate. But there's something about oral sex that I find very personal, and I just, I don't wanna put my mouth there if I don't know you. I think that's fair. Yeah.

I can't say that I felt the same because I have certainly gone down. What I'll say, Mike, is- This is what we wanna hear is the guy's perspective, you know? I will say though, I think women are less likely to allow a guy they're hooking up with to go down on them than a guy is to allow or encourage a girl to go down on them. Oh, one, I could not agree with you more.

I absolutely have pushed guys the far the fuck away from my VJ when they're not my boyfriend or someone that I'm dating pretty exclusively. Someone I'm very, very close to, someone I feel extremely comfortable with. Number one, they're probably not gonna be good at it, so it's a waste of time and I annoys the shit out of me. And mostly it's because like, you don't just get to go kiss my pretty little flower. But they get to show up.

I don't know you. They shove their dick in it. Yeah, with a condom, who cares? I mean, some people. Yeah. Yeah, that's how I go. Yeah, my take is I think girls are sometimes more insecure about whether they've shaved recently enough or I don't even.

That's true, that's fair. Yeah, the exact. I used to be like that. I don't really give a fuck anymore. It's truly just my age that I'm creating a scenario. If I were at a bar and I wasn't definitely not planning on meeting anyone or hooking up with anyone, right? And then it ends up happening.

And we're not promoting intoxication, you guys. We're not like, yeah, get black out, drunk and go fuck strangers. It's not what I'm saying. But I'm just being honest about where we've been in our life at some point or another I definitely did not give a shit what my bush looked like However, if I were going on a date with someone that is something I think about Yeah, and I'd agree with that typically a girl that was prepared and guys should do Man'scape at least Men to do your thing.

Trim it up a little. Don't go out with a full on bush. Yeah. You know, like stinky and sweaty and ugh. Yeah. Wait, let's talk about condoms for a sec. Do you think, do men think that so the way Trojan or whatever brand is like ribbed for her pleasure,

this for her pleasure, that for her pleasure, do this, do that, they have, it's like buying gray goose and they have all the different flavors of you buy the cheaper one for different flavors. You know what I mean? Maybe that was a weird. They have the older thing, the bare skin, these other.

Do you believe in all of that? No. When I was young, that's a high school early college, I did kind of think the ribbed for her pleasure would have anything to do with anything. But I have something to like, oh, she's going to love this. Right. Yeah. Now, not at all anymore.

Nope. Get the thinnest. Get the one that feels the least like you have a condom on. That's the best you can do. Yeah. I just think it's all a crock of shit and marketing and good for them. They're making their dough, but I think it's all a crock of shit and marketing and good for them. They're making their dough, but... There's definitely a difference.

There's definitely a difference with certain condoms, certain brands. There are some that... Yeah, but you don't. There's a difference for you on what feels good on you, but how would you know what it feels like in a vagina? I don't, but I guess I just assume when I can feel more, she can feel more, whether it's... I mean, some of them, they're thicker, they also, I feel like kind of change the shape of your dick.

And it's got to like feel, I mean, I think about the shape of a penis, right, with the head, it sticks out more than the main shaft, right? Yeah, it's a mushroom. Right, so if you just basically smooth out those ridges, it's gonna feel, there'll be less stimulation, these ribs, quote unquote ribs on a condom are gonna make up for that part, I think, of, you know, during intercourse.

The veins, and the texture. The veins, the texture, the separation between the head and the shaft that creates this rib bone, the mind, whatever it is. I was going to say there's like really nothing that like mimics an actual penis at all, until I got this one sex toy, which still doesn't because it's silicone, but strangely, you know what I'm talking about, Lucas, before. And I got, randomly, we were, okay, Luke and I decided to order a bunch of sex toys because we're like, one day we'll do a podcast about like the research and like what works and what doesn't. I love research. I ordered a bunch of different vibrators than I had and like I've never used a dildo and

then I so I ordered one and it was interesting. Yeah now you have. Yeah now I have. And it was interesting. It worked. It was like being textured and yeah, I mean, it's definitely not the same thing. Not even close. However, it wasn't horrible. I wouldn't use it often. You've asked me to orgasm. I did. You're calling it not horrible. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Okay. I wouldn't be like, oh, that's the replacement for a dude. Oh, yeah mean it was fine. It was fine. Obviously because you want the intimacy like yeah again it's back to being a kid. The skinned skin contact. I want the kissing. Yeah exactly. Yeah. Like if I'm gonna get off on my own my hands work just fine, my vibrator, whatever. Wait so do you if you were trying to orgasm when you're having sex,

do you often or have you ever touched your clit yourself or you in a stroke time? Hell yeah, I'd rather do it myself. Would you rather do that or would you rather have a man that basically takes control of your hands and just like, kind of goes Christian gray on you? I'm, yeah, I'm super sub, not in like a weird way, but I don't like being dominant. And that's just me. And I have so many girlfriends who are completely the opposite of me. I don't know. I like have all these, these thoughts where I'm like, is it because I was tall? And I always felt bigger than dudes and my friends

called me by my last name. And I just like, want to be the girl because I'm like so controlling in real life that I just want to be with a taller guy who's a little manlier. And yeah, I don't know. I think it's fairly universal. I can't speak for everybody. There's always exceptions. But most women, basically every woman I know, wants to feel small with their person, or when they're having sex.

They want to feel small and sexy and delicate. They want to feel that. And I think that's pretty universal. Yeah, I don't want to feel like you're fuck toy, but I want to feel like, like desired. Mm-hmm. You know, so that even if it's like with someone I'm not super in love with,

like I still don't want to just feel like you're a little hoe. Like you can feel like my hoe in that moment, but when I'm with my person, or the person I'm with that I care about, or that I'm in love with, I love the idea of like the freaky, deaky fun being that I'm like, submissive one. It's like 40 days and 40 nights that movie with Josh Hartnett,

where you can literally make someone come without even touching them physically. I feel like I could totally get off like that. I feel like you've told me that you have or come pretty close. Come pretty close. Yeah. And then just to get to finish yourself off with couple of seconds.

Yeah. How do you feel about porn? About porn? Yeah. What about it? Have you ever had anyone, let me just say first and foremost, like I think porn is normal, healthy, sexy, can be awesome. I think if you have a porn addiction, seek help, that's the only thing.

You can really porn the alcohol, I think, in that way. It can be normal. It can be fine, but it can be abused. Well, like any vice, really. Any vice, yeah. But I think just, it could be as normal as alcohol. You can have a couple drinks. You could watch porn for when you need to get off. If you're doing it multiple times a day, I think that creates an issue every day because then you have this fantasy wall that prevents more intimacy with your partner in my opinion. But ultimately, I can also be fun to watch with your partner in bed or to just get yourself, you know, as part of four-play. Yeah. And also, how to better understand each other knowing the the kind of point you both like, and I think a lot of you women out there

are gonna say, you don't think that matters. See, this is like a line that I waver, because I think that when you start sharing things like that, yes, I think that there are times where it's like, I really like this one, share this with me, I really like this one, share this with me. However, in my experience with guys that I've dated, I think there's a level of privacy

that not everyone is willing to be that open about. And that's a level of privacy that I respect. Like I had an ex-boyfriend who was very honest, like, oh, I love this kind of porn. I'm not gonna say what it is, but I love this kind of porn. And it kind of made me laugh. And it wasn't weird. It wasn't something illegal by any means,

but it was just like, wait, really? And it was a joke amongst a whole group of friends. But I think that a lot of people... That's the problem. That it became a joke of private. Yeah, exactly. And the fact that it became a group joke is the problem. Not the fact that you were able to share that with a friend. The fact that it became a group joke is the problem, not the fact that you were able

to share that with a friend, the fact that it became public knowledge is the problem here. Clearly. To share. I just think I- If I knew you were going to tell, or you or whatever my significant other was going to tell something like that that I told you to someone else. On a podcast. I'm just kidding.

However, on a podcast, to all your girlfriends, whatever, not okay. Not going to be okay with- Because it's a level of privacy. Yeah, and I'm gonna be not gonna wanna share that anything intimate with you in the future. That's a good point. Because I'm not gonna believe that you're gonna keep it between us. Well, I didn't tell anyone.

I mean, he was the one who was honest about it with all of his guy friends, and we just all sort of talked about it. Okay, gotcha, okay. No, I would never. I guess it's just in my experience with guys that I've dated that I've been open with about porn, because a lot of guys I've dated think, like, wait, you're okay with it? I've dated that I've been open with about porn because a lot of guys I've dated

think like, wait, you're okay with it? I'm shocked. I'm like, dude, I'm like the most non-judgmental person. Like, do you? As long as it's not interrupting your day-to-day life, your job, our sex life, I don't give a fuck. Like, do you? It's important to, that's part of self-care, okay? Get facials, get a massage.

Watch porn or masturbate? Yeah, it's important to like keep a little bit of privacy for yourself and it's just something that I respect when it comes to porn because not everyone is super willing or wanting to share that. Agreed, completely. And I just, yeah, so I think- You know, I don't want you to feel obligated to share that sort of thing, but if one person's curious, I don't think you should be completely closed off be willing to show a video that turned you on

Shouldn't be an issue. I totally agree with that Speaking of sharing have you ever sent a dick pick? Yes Always like a lot. No only when it's been not just asked for once. Like requested. Requested in the me laughing like, LOL, are you serious? They're like, yeah, it's so hot. I want to see how excited you are or something like that. I'm like, all right. Is it just a picture of like your hand and your dick? Or is it like a picture of your face? So there's a funny show called Blue Mountain State. It's about a college football team. And they have an episode that's all about dick picks and they talk about how to send a good dick pick

and I can give you the rundown on that. So did you watch this before you ever sent your first one? Yeah, okay, I've seen the episode a number of times. We feel awesome. And I didn't watch it for the sake of learning but I was like, you know what? Those concepts kind of make sense. Basically their rules were,

you don't wanna be like fully hard. You want to be like 60%. So you know, there's some blood flow down there. You never show balls or face. Wait, why do you only want to be 60%? I don't know. I don't know the whole why on that. Okay.

It's in the, it's in the, it's like, we'll watch that later. What is your opinion on the why? I don't know. Maybe next time. Do you want to, well, when you send one, do you want to be 60%? That's, that's hard. I'm like like go zero to 100 pretty quick maintaining 60% for a picture It's probably not worth it Do you set up a ring light and like a filter on Instagram with like a selfie?

No, but I definitely try to get the angle right. I'm like how's the lighting? Let's go over this way You don't show your balls. Mm-hmm. I can't say that every time But they I'm just going over the rules Okay, okay, so no face no balls But you don't show your balls? I can't say that every time. But I'm just going over the rules on this. OK, OK, sorry about that. So no face, no balls. You want to be about 60% and set to put on a watch or some rings or something.

So you're like, bling out. Oh, no. When you're holding your dick at the base, covering the balls. Good. OK, so those are the rules. Those are the rules. So when I've done it, I pretty much always

been, we'll say, fully torqued. And well, because it's like, goes zero to 100. You don't wear jewelry, did you put... No, I did not do that. But I think one time had my face in it because she wanted it. Is it like the picture I sent? Girlfriend or a hook up? Girlfriend.

Okay, so trustworthy. Yeah, I guess. Oh, you did not sound confident enough. There's a map. Well, you never know. You never know what people keep. Have you ever filmed yourself having sex? Um, you, I want to say yes, but without face. Like, it was me holding my phone while we were doing it.

And just like getting the, you know, I guess the kind of thing that you would say, the guy porn type of thing, the whole PNV and now. In the point of view. Like, yeah. The point porn type of thing, the whole P&V and now. In the point of view. Yeah. The point of view. P-O-V, P-N-V.

Yeah. P-O-V above. Not her face. You know, I'd have to look back through my phone and see if I can find it. Let's not do that. I'm joking. I'm totally joking. Is that a girlfriend or a hookup?

I don't keep girlfriend. Okay. So no random hookup videos. Correct. Correct. Definitely. 100%. I will just speak on behalf of myself and most women, I don't want to see a fucking dick pick ever.

That's fair. A FaceTime with my person is hot. A photo of your penis, not hot. My opinion. Female bodies, bomb. So hot. I love boobs. I love everything about the female bodies. This is so hot. I love boobs.

I love everything about the female bodies. This is what we can agree on. 100% of the way. But like a guy naked, just like as a photo, I'm just not into it. It's just like, yeah, your body's hot and then you just have this fucking appendage. Yeah, like literally an extra appendage.

Yeah, a limb. Yeah, I'm not into it at all. Nope. Nope, not into dick pics. No one asked for them. Didn't ask for it. Don't send it to me. Well, like I said, the only time I've ever sent them

are when they're requested. I've never volunteered or tried to get someone's attention with a picture of my dick. That's never been a thing. Never an unsolicited dick pic. Absolutely not. Do you like when girls send you tip picks, sexy picks? that's never been a thing. Never an unsolicited dick pick. Absolutely not. Do you like when girls send you tip picks, sexy picks,

naked, lingerie, whatever it is? What are you into? Definitely. Videos are even better. Girlfriends or girls you're dating are just all the above. Any girl. I'm not gonna say any girl

because I wouldn't be, that's just. If you're single. If I'm single, sure. Okay. That is sure. Random girl I don't know. You're hot, I'm gonna going to say any girl because I wouldn't be that just if you're single if I'm single sure Okay, sure random girl. I don't know you're hot. I'd be like whoa. What is this? That made my day That could be fun, but Obviously if I'm in a relationship and I got a random nudie from a girl I didn't know where girl I met one time. I'd be like yeah, that's only gonna cause problems delete and text do not do that again Would you tell your girlfriend? Yeah.

If I, it depends. Okay, I'll say I would tell the right girlfriend. I've had a girlfriend in the past that thought porn was cheating. And if I got that, there's not a chance she would have believed in my explanation. That look, I didn't ask for this, matter about some work thing, whatever it was with one of my businesses at a conference,

nothing happened in choosing to listen to this. This never happens. I'm just. That was so specific. God, I'm just trying to, you know, paint a picture or come up with a scenario where it'd be realistic. What work thing were you at, Luke? It was an expo and death. All right. Anyway, I think with the right girl though, if I were open about everything, we'll just say the trust is there to where they would believe that that is the story because I'm like, hey, this just got sent to me. So you know, I'm not keeping anything from you. I'm deleting it and I just, this is what I texted her back.

I think what wraps this podcast up in a bow is like, you should be with a partner that you can just have these conversations with. Now granted, I wouldn't want my boyfriend. I mean, I would want to know because I would be like, a cool year being honest and shit, that's wild, who the hell is this? See you next Tuesday.

So I got a question for you, Kristen. Okay. So I had an ex-girlfriend that considered porn cheating. And I want to get your opinion on where you draw a line on cheating or being faithful on that whole realm. So in the day and age,, only fans is a huge thing right now, right? I believe a big part of the attraction is these guys get their interaction, quotation marks, they get a send messages and pay for certain requests like whatever custom

videos or pictures or whatever from these girls so they feel like there's some kind of other connection. And I believe that's a big part of the attraction to that. If you found out that a boyfriend had some sort of communication going on with an only fan's model, how would you handle that? If you had gotten, let's say you'd gotten some naked pictures, you know, he's getting off to potentially just videos she posts for everybody or whatever, is that cheating? Is that unfaithful? I'd castrate him. Okay, so that's a yes.

I would agree. Bob it his ass and kick him to the curb. Yeah, that's so fucked up. Okay, I agree with you. I'm just saying. That's not a strip club. That's not fantasy anymore. That's the whole thing.

Porn is fantasy. Right, but I think it is. I'm not trying to make it not. It's not fantasy if you're interacting with another human being one-on-one. It's not fantasy if you're interacting with another human being one on one. It's not reality. So here's the other thing. I know also that a lot of those accounts have managers,

have other people that are doing the responding and they're responding to thousands of men. And there's no chance that they're ever going to actually meet that person. Like that doesn't exist. That's not the point though. The point is not about the other person. I'm saying it's still fantasy.

It's the only thing I'm saying. But it's not because the intention is not about the other person. I'm saying it's still fantasy, it's the only thing I'm saying. But it's not because the intention is reality. It's kind of like when it comes down to cheating. Yes, if you have some like horror going after your man, like that's not cool, but at the end of the day, you're not in a relationship with this other person. You're in a relationship with your person. It's their problem. So if my man, if my dude, is actively seeking a connection, a real true reality connection with someone else. What's a, no, it's a sexual connection.

They're asking for specific things that turn them on, not talking about what they did on Saturday. Okay, here. Well, then let me riddle me this. I had a boyfriend one time who I used to hack his emails. Emails email addresses. Wait a second, I'll go. Okay, actually, I don't know if I wrote about this in my book. No, I definitely did not. Okay. So I was constantly, I was in my 20s, I was looking at his emails,

and he had multiple email addresses, you know, like one for spam, one for this, one that was older, whatever. And I found, I believe the website was called Friendster or Friend Something or Other. And it was finding like sexy, this is forever ago, you guys, but like finding sexy singles like in your neighborhood. And he made up a fake name. It was like Peter, just so you guys know,

I never dated anyone named Peter. And I'm not talking what Peter's or manager. My boyfriend, at the time, used a fake user name called Peter, something, something, something, like with numbers and all of that. And from what I read, he never actually met up with someone, but he was like entertaining the idea of chatting with these girls who would be willing to like hook up. This is way before Tinder, way before any sort of dating app.

It was specific. Maybe that's what it was called. I don't know why Friendster. It must've been an adult from Finder. So I found out that he was actively entertaining the idea of. And truly, in hindsight, now granted, he did cheat on me multiple times. But in hindsight, I really think it was just the excitement and the idea of that it could happen

that was like hot to him, but to me, that was like disgusting. Yeah, did it feel like betrayal? Yeah, and that's how I would feel if someone was truly, if my exclusive partner, my husband, my boyfriend, was truly like going to only fans to have a relationship of one-on-one with someone, to me, that's reality. I think Watch porn asked me to do it.

Like I'd like to think I'm still hot and desirable because I think that's also part of it. Like, so you need that because you don't have, like, what about me? What does that say about how you feel about me? Right. Well, I mean, I'm gonna agree with you because I think it would be, how would you feel?

I agree with you entirely. Like you said, women aren't attracted to penises typically, you don't like seeing, you know, like your dick pics or whatever, but if you had somebody you met online but maybe didn't, or just some random person you met that you were talking to about things that you'd normally talk to me about. It was like sex talking me or like question graying me and like seducing me. Right, and you were entertaining it.

Right. But like, no, it's not about him clearly. I don't want to watch him jacking off or like whatever it is, but if he's just like seducing me and making me feel sexy and wanted. Like how would that make you feel if your girlfriend was doing that? I'm completely agreeing with you. I think that's like a very parallel to the only fans idea is that if there was somebody

texting you or DMing you or emailing you and something, some things that are turning you on and you're reciprocating in any way, that's pretty, like it seems disloyal and I think it'd be the same thing if you're, you know, if you had your favorite porn star, your favorite only fans person, and you're messaging them all the time,

and getting special requests, and talking to them like that while you're in a committed relationship. That's a problem. Yeah, it's taking away from the intimacy and the possibility of, like, making your own sex life hotter. The whole point of being in a relationship is always, like, sex is such an important part. Like I know that I truly believe sex is,

it's not the only thing. Communication is important. Having things in common is important. Learning things from each other. All of that but sex is so important in a relationship. So important, I mean it's the like, the biggest thing that makes you guys not just friends, Yeah. Relationships.

And that's why emotional, emotional cheating can have such an effect because if you're not, you're not doing anything quote unquote wrong, right? You're not banging anyone else. You're not actually meeting up in person. But if you're just having this emotional relationship with someone else, you're fantasizing about them. Yeah. And it's more likely that you're not having sex with your person. Sex is important

to keep the intimacy you'll have. Definitely. And that's something that comes back to a good friend of mine, been married a long time. They went to couples therapy at some point when they were having issues. And they said the first question that this therapist asked was, are you still having sex? And when they said yes, they said great because when people come in here and say they haven't had sex in a year or two years, you can't. Oh God, you can't. You can't.

Yeah, they say it's very hard to say, but very rarely can counseling, save a relationship if the sex and intimacy has gone away for that long. The longest I think I've ever gone without sex in a relationship is like three months, which is wild because- Insane to me. I've never been married. Not to be like, oh, it happens to marry people,

I don't mean that, but I have mostly been in relationships that have been at least three, maybe four years long, if not longer, and I've definitely done the three-month span, which totally sucks. I have not. I've gone with that, I think sex has been single. When I'm single, living in a rural area.

But in a relationship, well, you've only had like two girlfriends, though, right? In a relationship, I don't know if I've ever gone a week unless we were just completely not in the same, like we didn't see each other for the whole week. Right. You're out of town or something. Out of town, going to different colleges, whatever it is,

like going more than a week, if I'm around the person that I'm with, I would very much like to be having sex once a week or more, I think, in perpetuity. In perpetuity. As I say, I'm shocked. We got shocked, thank you guys. Loyalty, sexual altes in perpetuity.

That's what marriage just all about. We're gonna make this deal right now. I'm from right. I need sexually. I need weekly sexual oiltees in perpetuity. This isn't me. No pressure. Yeah.

No pressure to the future and wife of Luke. That's hilarious. How hard is it? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, you get comfortable. Life gets in the way. Stress gets in the way. I'll just speaking for myself, those things have all happened.

But I do think even when I'm having those moments, if you just have sex, you feel better. 100%. I mean, as long as, like I said, from my perspective, the objective is for my partner to get off first always. If you maintain that objective, it would be really hard for me if I'm consistent in that way to be repeatedly turned down and go weeks or months without having sex, it'd be a huge problem for me. Oh, that's so, yes.

Men need to listen to you. Oh, they can now. So. Hey. Well, this has been like way fun. So much fun. That's so much more. I barely scratched the surface on my notes.

So I know same here. We have so much more. Everyone email Kristen and tell her to let me talk about sex more. Because this is my favorite topic. And probably the biggest reason why Kristen won me on here. I can talk relationships and feelings and all that other stuff too. And it's equally important, but I love talking about sex. Let's talk about sex, baby.

Yeah, all right. Rock and roll. Well, definitely more sex to come. Hopefully, at least once a week. Oh my gosh, this has been way too much fun. I might go watch some porn now. All right, well, Luke, you're the best, Pre-Uge. You guys, thanks for listening and go out and have sex.

Happy, healthy, protected sex. Or unprotected with your person. Go have all the fun, safe sex you can have. Oh, we'll talk to you next week. Bye. Make sure listening. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Dodie and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke Double underscore

Broadrick. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes every single Wednesday. Thanks for listening. See you next week! this evening. See you next week.