Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - Me Time with Maggie Lawson

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

Episode 38. What does “Me Time” mean for you? Maggie Lawson, actress and podcast host of “Me Time”, joins Kristen and Luke this week to explore what #MeTime really means: Is it a long drive, a glass of wine, or even social time (for Kristen)! The three discuss Me Time when single, in a relationship, and even married - and how it may differ between men and women. Listen as Maggie, Luke, and Kristen get personal and share with the world what their ME TIME looks like. Sponsors: Get 20% off your first order by going to vegamour.com/DOUTE and use code DOUTE at check out. LumeDeodorant.com and use code DOUTE to save $5 on a Lume Starter Pack - gentle, effective, and free of harsh chemicals Organifi.com/doute and use code DOUTE for 20% off your entire order - try Organifi today and take the first step towards a healthier you! Listen to Me Time with Maggie Lawson - apple.co/metime Instagram: @metimewithmaggie Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Email us: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello my loves welcome back to another episode of sex love and what else matters. Hi darling. Hi baby. Hi Luke so here with me. Yay. And I have a very special guest. Hi Maggie Lawson. Hello. Hi Kristen. Hi Luke. Hi. Hello, hi, Kristen, Hi, Lou, Kai.

I think you all still have me. I'm so excited. So if you guys live under a rock, Maggie Lawson is obviously a very successful actress, but has just recently started her new podcast called Me Time, with number one fabulous, so simple, right to the point. I'm obsessed with it. Thank you.

Oh, I love that you love the name. I, it's so funny because in the like the first interview I did, who was Joel, my kale, I was like, tell me what you think of when you when you hear me time. Is it like an eye roll or is it actually like, no, no, you know, because it's like, like, oh, me time. I feel like there's a lot of talk around this, but it actually is a very important topic to me.

And I think I love that you got it right away. Oh, I totally did. And I did listen to the Joel McKale episode. And I just thought it was really funny. So I recently did, long story short, I just did a different competition show with Daniel Tosh, was my host. Oh, wow.

It's like working with a comedian and trying to, and I know you and Joel, I could tell obviously are like buddies, but like trying to have a serious conversation with someone who's just not only so used to, but also so good at just telling these jokes in between. And like, I'm going, oh my God, I was like, I had it on speaker and I was like, Luke, he would literally like, we'll not answer that question.

I'm like, I wanted cold-blooded murder. You're like, come on not answer that question. I wanted cold blooded murder. You're like, come on, why are you so reluctant? It's funny. I, yeah, I noticed that in my interview with him, but, you know, and he, he makes me laugh all the time. I loved Joel so much. We've been friends for a very long time. And it was funny,

because I did talk to him a little beforehand, like what it would be about, but I wanted to just let it wander. Just because I also, like, I want to guess to feel like they can kind of explore whatever that is for them as well. And I think it was kind of, it was just kind of interesting as it is for everyone. It's a fascinating topic that like, for him, it's like the opposite. Like he can't have it. Like he, like, so in a way, the interview was kind of reflective, I think of the way he kind of approaches me time. And he's just like, let's just keep moving.

Let's keep moving. Yeah, he's like, I move, I like to move around a lot. Like, that's what I, who I am, blah, blah, blah. And then you would break it down, though, for him, as your buddy, you're like, well, that's me time, like that thing you're talking about now. Yeah. Thank you so much.

That's so sweet. It's as you probably know, like it's always a little uh scary and like vulnerable and like especially if it's something that's like means a lot to you, you're talking about delicate topics as well. I'm talking about like getting to know people through you know, whatever this time might be for them, it might be weird, it could be peaceful, it could be like you just wander into a lot of different areas and it's it definitely for me last week, I was like, oh my god, it's actually coming out now. Like it's actually going to be released and this is going to happen. So thank you for listening and for liking it. I love it. I love it. So I'm first and foremost for our listeners who have not yet

heard your podcast, but why did you want to start this, like this podcast? What was important to you? Why do you enjoy it so much? Yeah, it's really interesting. I've really enjoyed. I do this other podcast. It's a rewatch podcast of a show I did called Psych, called the psychologist turn it. Yeah.

I've loved it. It's been really fun. It's also a comfortable thing because I feel like I was a show I did for eight years, I can speak to it pretty comfortably. And also it's about psych. So it's kind of easy to talk about. Well, you know Cloud 10 and yeah. So I was talking to him actually about a different idea

and believe it or not, Sibah who is one of the producers there like kind of pitched something back to me around something a bit more personal, or you know, lifestyle-y something like that. And my whole body tends to, and I feel like my initial reaction was just like, no, I'm more comfortable talking about other topics

or whatever. And then as I thought about it, I was like, maybe that's a reason to explore it, just because my initial reaction was like fear and all of the things. So, and the more I started to kind of explore that part, the more I started to sort of think about where I was and more conversations I was having with people, I kind of settled on this idea of me to I spend a ton of time alone. Like, you know, almost sometimes like where I travel alone, I will go eat alone. I like, it's something that I feel like for me.

I don't know. I feel like I learn a lot about myself in those moments, but I also kind of feel like I'm in this space in my life right now, where I'm 42. And I feel like I'm kind of in like an in-between of like where I was, you know, my 30s or over, my 40s, I don't really know what this is gonna, like what that's gonna be yet, I don't have kids yet,

I don't know how all that's gonna play out for me yet. And I'm just sort of in this space of like getting to know myself here, it's very different obviously. And, you know, so I was like, well, what if I what if I talk about sort of this part of Getting to know myself now and all of the things I kind of am exploring there and make it more kind of about that And then also with other people what time for them what they're kind of like alone Down time quiet time the moments when it's like, oh, I have a little bit of time to, and I'm a little bit off the rails right now, I need to kind of come back to myself. What do I do so that I can go back out there and do the other things I need to do? And I just

think it's a, it is a kind of an interesting topic. That's kind of a long-winded answer. I don't know where this great answer because I, like you, I mean, essentially touched on a bunch of the questions that I already had that I'm now like, okay, now I really have a lot of more questions for you. I don't, I feel, the person, I just feel like and look to both of you. I just, I feel like there's just so much I just, like I don't know. And I feel like I feel like at this point,

I'm also like I feel like I know less than I've ever known. So I feel almost like I'm in the space of just like learning a lot and then kind of wanting to share in the experience. I can identify with that. Yeah, I looked right at Luke when you said that you learned so much about you when you spend that me time alone where like this is where Luke and I could not be more polar opposite. Right. Because one of my questions I want you to talk about, I just see my questions I wrote

down was like, does me time have to be alone? Because I'm not good at being alone. That's a very crisp question. questions I wrote down was like does me time have to be alone? Because I'm not good at being alone. That's a very Christian question, right? But you on the other hand. But me, I'm way more like you Maggie. Like I could do everything by myself. Why eat, drink, travel, everything. And I think I've always loved that from growing up, fishing outdoors with more rural stuff. I go do those things by myself. A couple of years I actually lived by myself in an RV. Whoa. Starting a business and there were some serious times there that I had some solo mental breakdowns

that I had to fight through and you learn a lot about yourself. When you have those extended times where it's not necessarily a choice, well you chose to isolate yourself but then it's not a choice to be able to be around someone like quickly, you can't just just bounce back and be like, okay, come over, okay, I'm going to the bar. I was pretty isolated and forced me to learn a lot about myself.

That's wild. Can I ask what prompted that? What was like, oh, I'm gonna start an RV business, you said? So I was starting a business and basically sold off a bunch of my stuff and lived in my RVs so I could keep my costs really low, like we was strapping starting a business. That's the country, a lot, like driving, meaning driving in your truck, like, in front of the stage. That's separate, but kind of the same. I do long drives by myself too.

This is crazy. I like, I actually want to talk about, because that's like one of my, like, last year, well, I, I, before we started the podcast, I was telling Luke, like, Like last year, well, I, I, before we started the podcast, I was telling Luke, like, the, the painting by me, I, my dog died like a year and a half ago, and I, it really threw everything into, like, a weird, it was just like a real ending on, I felt like a lot of things, like, just like an era. And it was created. One of the things I did was, like, I took a grief trip, but I just got in my car. I literally didn't have a destination.

I just started driving. I ended up in Arizona for a while. But yeah, it is a, there's, I'm kind of with you. That driving, I think, is one of my quiet, you know, you can kind of, it's such a safe place. I feel like a car can be a really safe place for, for people or an RV. Wait, so are those your paintings behind you? I think you don't like share your paintings really, but that you love, love, love to paint as part of your meet. Do you know this about me? I read it. I read it about you. I mean, I look to things like, and like, internet stockings, one of my, okay, that's one of my many times. I can't even tell you how many, like, when I do talk to people, like, that's, I feel like

one of my questions now on my podcast is going to be to people like okay, so what do you stalk like what is your thing like I mean like I have a friend who it's just like he watches self protection videos. He could like literally watch self protection videos for hours like what to do in like crazy situations, whether it's like talking people. I feel like what people like the rabbit holes we go down on on social media. That's a lot. That's a lot about us. Um, paintings are awesome and I love that we get to see them right now and I hope you at some point share them with the world because good job.

Kristen, thank you. That's so nice. Uh, I don't, I think that's another thing that I'm trying to get a little more comfortable with is it doesn't really matter, like things don't have to, I don't know, I have a lot of like perfection stuff probably, so that's why it's always like, ah, better just to keep that one to myself, better just to keep it quiet or whatever. Okay, so then back to my question, I guess both of the opinions,

does me time have to be alone? Because that's so hard. It really should be, right? I guess that's your point Maggie is that like, when you just have those moments and you need to, I do have some things, but it's very difficult for me to be alone and sit still. I totally relate and I get that.

And to me, no, I think part of me time is, it's whatever brings you back to yourself and the time that you have to do that. So I feel like it could be connection. I'm not sure when this comes up, but I think I can talk about it now. In past, so the interview I did with my friend Tim was very much about, his me time is actually connection, like reconnection. So for him, he loves his phone for that reason, and he has his reasons for that, which are

in the podcast. But I think it's sort of what, just what it is to you. I don't know that there's like a, like, this podcast is specifically about what you do in your alone time, even though I do think that is really interesting, because I also think our alone time, it can be weird. I mean, I have, people have talked about, like, vices and like, secret, like, all kinds of stuff in that time, but like I do feel like no that your me time is is how how do you want to spend your

restorative time for yourself and if that's like with people that's part of your me time. It's still taking care of yourself. Are you ready to unlock the power of natural beauty? Introducing Vegemore, the game-changing brand that is redefining the way we approach hair care and beauty. I used to struggle with thinning hair, it was frustrating, and I tried countless products that promised results but left me so disappointed. I used to spend hours and hours researching hair growth solutions until I found Vagamore. I am always trying to do right by my body, so when it comes to my hair and scalp health, finding a product that actually works and is made with clean ingredients always seems like a trade-off. But with

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.com slash Dodie, D-O-U-T-E, code Dodie to save 20% on your first order. Vegemora.com slash Dodie, code Dodie. You guys got it? You got it? V-E-G-A-M-O-U-R. .com slash Dodie. Let me know how it works out. Love ya. Yeah, because I like something you said. I don't know if it was on Jules' episode of it was like in your trailer,

but you briefed on the fact that like for you, sometimes you do, you know like it's time to do my meantime, but then other times you wait until I think you said like your tank is, it has been an empty for too long. Yeah, I mean. Oh shit. I did not, I have not been like your tank is, it's been empty for too long. Yeah, I mean. Oh shit, I have not been fulfilling my own needs, my own self, whether it was probably work, or relationship, friendships, whatever it was.

Yeah, I definitely feel like I can get to that point. I think it's kind of just knowing for yourself. I love that I'm speaking on this, I know all of them. I really don't know exactly. I don't want to speak from this place of being an expert or a guru of art. I'm literally still figuring most of the stuff for myself, but I do know that about myself is I will wait.

Sometimes I'll start to notice it. It might be how I'm acting at work. It might be how I'm acting with other people. It might be, I can't show up and be present or be fully in the way that I wanna be, or I don't like how I'm at, just whatever that, I feel like it's an accessing thing. We kind of know when we're like,

like a lion, we kind of know when we're off. And I think it's just kind of like knowing, I might be off, but I don't wanna get to the point where I'm like, I can't recover. So it's like, maybe it's just an hour even. If it's just like, I always talk about, I have a balcony here and sometimes I just have to go sit and watch a sunset for a little bit and I'm good to go.

But I don't know, it's the, like I said, that's different for everybody. But yeah, I think sometimes it's hard. I do feel like I've gotten better at knowing like, how to catch it before it gets to like, way, way, way on empty. Like when you're spent, you're like, way, way like way, way, way on empty. Like when you're spent, you're like, way, way, way catch it first. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just to like sort of talk about something you just said, when you're like, well, I'm not an expert, blah, blah. But I disagree because what I like about your podcast is like, you're talking about me time. You are an expert on you. Nobody knows you better than you. So I think that's what's so fascinating is to share your things and then be able to be such a warm, open place by being vulnerable yourself

in order to bring your guests in. That's so nice. Thank you. No, I'm working on that actually. It's so funny because a friend of mine said the other night, I was talking to her, she listened to the first episode and I was like, I think it was good. I think I think, yeah, she's like, you know what, Max? I feel like I want to hear more. Like what you, like I'm doing this with you right now, Kristen.

Like so, I'm like, but when I was with, and Luke, sorry, I'm not excluding, I just meant like, yeah. But I was with her and she was like, when you started describing the podcast to me, it was just really open about like where you are and how you're like exploring. And it was really vulnerable. And I think that's what like people can,

because it's what I also relate to when I'm listening to someone. I love this about your podcast. I feel like you all are so open. I listened to the one recently you had a therapist on, like a relationship therapist on, and just the openness in the ease, as you were saying, kind of warmth and safety

that you have when you open it, when you're being that way, it puts other people at ease. So I'm working on hopefully bringing that to it. It's really nice. It's actually really just nice to talk about. You guys are very easy to talk to, which is probably why you have a hugely successful podcast and life. But yeah, it's very, very like to talk.

Yeah, Kristen really likes to talk. I really like to talk. Do you feel jump in? I mean, I'm like, these are all my notes. Any questions? Yeah, she's the note taker. I'm like, all mental. Always got in trouble in school for not taking notes and I'd still ace the exam. So Kristen, like, looks at me like,

why aren't you writing notes down? I'm like, I wrote down two questions and I'll play off of you. Yeah, I'm part of it. Literally, I started writing. I started thinking about like, oh my gosh, is she gonna ask me what like, my me time is?

And I'm like, okay, Kristen, hurry up. Like, think of something. Oh, I'm gonna ask both of you. Yeah, I literally wrote down, I struggled with my me time like being alone because I was like, how do Kristen, hurry up, like, think of something. Oh, I'm gonna ask both of you. Yeah, I literally wrote down, I struggled with my me time, like, being alone, because I was like, how do I even answer that? And then the only things I could really come up with is that I know when I'm really on empty,

all I do is I just watch YouTube for like 30 minutes, like, I find like, either really, really funny videos that I've probably seen, like, 70,000 times, or like, make me cry happy videos. I just needed to make me,000 times, or like make me cry happy videos. I just needed to make me cry. Like, it used to be Ellen DeGeneres, and then it was like, you know, military spouses or like the dog, it was lost, and I got like the dodo like watching like the dogs getting

reunited or like rehabilitated, like that kind of stuff. I was like, I was like, what was I doing that, I've all the dodo all the time. But like, I feel like that's, you know that about yourself. You also like know what to do and what to watch. Or what's, like, oh, I want to connect with somebody. I want to feel something. Oh, I just want to like zone out for a little bit. I want to feel good. I maybe I don't want to, maybe I want something that's going

to make me feel a little more emotional in connect with. But like, whatever, it's all a part of it, though. And I don't really feel like it doesn't have to be so specific to being alone, though I'm curious. Like, is it a bad feeling to be alone? Oh my God. I'm like, I'm so curious about both of you. I get bored. Like, it is my thriving to, for human connection.

I mean, essentially, why I started this podcast was, I mean, I think sex is fascinating. I love relationships. I love love so much. But mostly, I think sex is fascinating. I love relationships. I love love so much. But mostly, I'm just so fascinated behind the psychology of why men and women separately and together think and feel the way that they think and feel, whether it's positive or negative.

You know, why do dudes ghost? Why do girls? I'll just speak generally. Like for me, why do I think every guy I date is the one I'm gonna marry? Or why are these having these real open conversations? So when Luke and I met and like, right before we started dating,

we obviously, we don't live in the same state, and we were talking on the phone for hours and hours and hours a day, and it was just so vulnerable, so honest, no judgment. Yeah. But it was super fascinating that he was willing to answer like every question that I threw at him. That's so beautiful.

You know what's about all of my past hookups or relationships, therefore she has nothing to stalk me about. That's true. That's why you're like, let me get it all out so that if it does come, but like it's interesting. So distance I almost feel like is interesting this way because I mean, I don't know.

I'm just as you're saying this, I'm just realizing it. I feel like also when my partners, people have been away, that there is a different kind of connection. You're almost like, because you can't just be around each other, connecting or not.

There's something about a physical space with each other too that is like, not that you would take it for granted, but it becomes part of your routine or whatever so that when you're actually like if you're face timing or you're only time that you're getting with that person as like a day, sorry, it's like an hour or two and they're in another place. Like do you actually find that maybe it does kind of enrich the connection a bit because you might be, I think you absolutely can take it for granted. I mean, I'll speak for myself.

I can absolutely take that time for granted. I'm just like, I don't know if it's like hanging around the house, like whatever. I mean, not that you have to be like connected at the hip or like, you know, joined by the arms 24-7, but I do think that you can take people for granted. I myself.

Yeah. Oh, for sure. And that's what I'm trying to say. So you all connected for, seven, but I do think that you can take people for granted myself. Yeah. Oh, for sure. And that's what you're saying. So you all connected for like, so you all just would like sit on the phone. But this is like so sweet. I love this. It's so cute for like hours.

Yeah, there were nights that I think we talked from like 9 PM to 2 AM on the same phone call. Yeah. We put our headphones in. We'd both kind of be doing things. I'd be folding laundry or she'd be cleaning out a closet. We had our headphones in and we'd just kind of be chatting, doing our chores or, you know, those sorts of things. And yeah, like we were together. Yeah, it makes like the time kind of go by, like more interestingly, when you're doing the mundane sort of chores around the house that you have to do anyway. Normally, I'm just like

blasting music. But I'm like, well, this is kind of fun. It's like I knew something new and different to have someone that's actually super interesting to like, converse with and like, learn about and learn more about myself within that conversation. Yeah. Which again, kind of goes back to what I was saying. Why I love this premise of your podcast

because I think in you being that vulnerable, it's like not only when I was listening just to the Joel one, right? Or just to your trailer, I think in you being that vulnerable, it's like not only when I was listening just to the Joel one, right, or just to your trailer, I'm going like, oh my God, this is so interesting. I'm thinking about what your meantime looks like, what he's saying. And then I'm like, what's mine? Does that resonate with me? Oh, that does. Or like, should I have more of me time? Maybe I should, you know. I mean, I think you, I'm just happy it made, do you feel anything or think about anything of that sort of the point? It's like, I just even to think about those things in ourselves or where we are with them,

it changes like so much. I think it could change based on being in a relationship, not being in a relationship. Sometimes it's like, I had enough of me time, like when you're in the pandemic, I'm like, I'm so sick of me. So I wanted to ask you about quarantine. So can I ask you a question? You say like kind of like you're 42 now, and this is something like you're really jumping into.

And so I'm 40. I fully, fully get it. Luke is much younger than that. What? Luke is only 32. OK. What? Luke is only 32. Okay. Oh, Luke. Okay. I really feel I felt you when you just said like,

I'm 42 and I'm jumping into this and I need this me time. And that also had my brain going like, did you or were you practicing this thinking about this before like this aha moment of like kind of starting the podcast? And you know, you needed me time. before this aha moment of starting the podcast. And you know, you needed me time. And then for you, just how kind of looking back, I guess, in hindsight, how has that changed for you

from you were married at one point, and now you're not married, you're dating, and in being single, what did that look like for you? It's so interesting to think about now, because I do feel like my thirties were, it was very like one thing to the next thing, to the next thing, to the next thing. And in a great way, like I, you know,

whether it was work relationships, I do think after my marriage, there was a time of, like legit having to be kind of confronted with a lot of me time and a lot of, but necessary like, oh, I need to like, you know, I needed, I felt like I needed to really take a look at myself and where I was and what I wanted. So that was, that was also like another probably an aha, but just different than I feel like what has happened. Just sort of where I am now. I would say both of them have been, what am I saying, kind of like triggered or initiated by

a pretty big event. Divorce was, it's just brutal. I mean, whether you're married a year, whether you're married, like many, like I just think it's a really hard thing to go through, but I also don't think that it's always the unhappy ending in a lot of ways. So I don't know. There was a time after that that I felt like I really did get to know myself. I've always kind of traveled alone, done things alone. I think that's just kind of a part of who I am, but after my dog died, you're not going to keep going back to that as soon as you cut out. We are both dog freaks.

So we get it. It's so brutal. It was pretty fast from like, oh, I knew she had a heart murmur, but then it was like from a weird cough to heart failure to she was gone. It was like a two week period basis. It was just so fast.

And I feel like I had lost animals in the past that had lived full life to the, to the, you know, and it's brutal no matter what when they leave us, it's whatever, but there was something about the suddenness of it too, that I think just really kind of threw everything a little bit, I mean, it was the pandemic. It was also, I think,

I turned 40 in the pandemic. So, there was just a lot that was sort of swirling, and peanut was a lot of my meantime. Peanut brought me back to myself, and I was, so I'll say, I'll travel a lot, and I did a lot, but I also did a lot with peanuts. So, there was always this companion, there was this comfort, this being, this like, you know, and because peanut was also like a through line to these other parts of my life, it was almost like in a way when she went, it was like a whole kind of era also ended in a way

and with that came what now, or like where am I and And what do I want? And clocks are ticking and alarms are going off. And I'm not in any of the places that like for a lot of those decisions to even be made. And so who am I, where am I, where am I right now? And I mean it's still like I feel like I'm out of the like blast radius probably of grief even though

I still, it's still very present, but I feel I feel like I'm now more in mode of like all right let's figure it out, let's get to know you. Like let's get to see where we are. And it's not easy and it's like it's all been a little scary. It's just very new. It's almost weird to say like oh so what was it like in my like when I was married versus now versus like, I mean, I feel like I've been different, not, I mean, I'm still me, but I feel like just different versions of ourselves,

you know, we move through these like different phases and I just feel like this is one that I actually don't have a ton of connection to any other phase or any other thing. So it's like, it's like a whole new, it's a whole new world. Um, it's like, I'm probably rambling on and on and on and not probably landing on an exact, like, I mean, you're making perfect sense to me.

It's like, I get it, I get it, I get it. It's like, you know, and it's weird too to see certain, like I think what I'm learning more now too is like, their times where it's like, okay, I'm, I had this happen, this wasn't greater, this hurt, or this isn't. And then I get to a point where I'm like, okay, so I'm the common denominator in my life of all things. And so for me, it's like, I also want to look at my part in everything I do, or have done as well. And, you know, hopefully, hopefully learn from that, going for it, I don't know, there's from that going for it.

I love that one, just like, it's selling right. I'm telling you, look, I fully get it. So like 2019, pre-pandemic. I was like on cloud nine. I was single for the first time. And it's pretty much my whole life. I got my book deal. I was still on a TV show.

I had my one line. I was just like, oh my god, I bought my first house. Like this is insane. How am I this blessed? Like how are their hashtag blessed? It's just like the puzzle pieces are falling into fucking place. Yeah. And that's how I felt. And my last chapter in my book was about like the one or not. Like who is the one? Like I don't know. Maybe I know the guy now Like, I don't know. Maybe I know the guy now, maybe I don't. But I think it's almost like that Rubble Wilson movie

like about self love, or I don't know if you've seen it. It's like where the, she lives in Manhattan and then she like hits her head and then all of a sudden she wakes up and Manhattan's like beautiful full of flowers and she's like, this Australian man's in love with her. Anyway, she finds out like, the one is me. But like, that's how I felt.

All of a sudden I was like, you know out like the one is me, but like that's how I felt. All of a sudden I was like, you know what, the one is me. Yeah. And I was all about self love and self preservation and then quarantine nets. And then things just go astray and I'm off the show. And like blah, blah, blah, blah, it was just this ripple effect where I'm like,

what the hell kind of law land was I living in thinking that? Where then I started going to what you just said, like the common denominator is me. What do I need to do better? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, you know what, sometimes life just throws you shit. And we all go through it and it does happen. But I can then like, now I'm trying to find that meantime

and that like self-love that I'm actually Not looking for Vices or distractions You know whether it's like alcohol or I'm like I don't know I'll just make a bunch of lists and not complete them because then I'm Doing something right, you know, I'm a tinker. I love to tinker around my house It's clean, but it's mostly like put the sunglasses back in this little small place, and I'm throwing shit

and covered. I'm masking it all. Oh, God, I so feel you on this. I'm listening to you talking. I'm like to relate to what you're saying, too. I totally get that. I don't know if I'm going to say it exactly right, but just that there were, as you said, vices or these things that like you come to count on, even for

me, I was on a show as well that got canceled right at the beginning of the pandemic. Like, literally was like on a magic carpet ride, I felt like on a magical like bullet tray and that was just like, you know, and then the pandemic hit and the show got canceled. And it's just like a lot of things sort of happened at once. It's so funny, the list part that you talk about or like, there's almost, I wonder if our brains just sometimes go to like, how can I, as you said, distract? But like, I had a storage unit that had like 10 years of life

in it that I just was like, you can stay over there in your little storage unit. And I'm not gonna address any of the shit for a long time. And I think it was in the pandemic where some of that started to happen where I was like, I have to start looking at this. Also, it provided, it looked, the pandemic was so brutal. So I never wanna like talk about it in a way that was like,

you know, but if there is a positive maybe that could come out of it, it is this sort of like, like it, I think it kind of jolted everybody into a little bit of a new, I had to into like a new space and whatever we did with that. Believe me, my vice is for a while. Even that, I had to be like, wow, you went from like a couple glasses of wine, a dinner or a week to every night. My joy right now is this glass,

my joy is this, whatever. And I'm, you know, whatever. But listening to you say even the stuff around the house and the stuff like, let me just put this in a closet and I close the closet, but I still know when I walk around the house how gross that closet is. Totally. I'm not doing anything about it.

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But with Organifi, you can experience the benefits without breaking the bank. Head over to organifi.com slash doti and use codoti, DOUTE for 20% off your entire order. Don't wait, try to identify today and take the first step toward a healthier you. I still have the storage unit, by the way. That's why Luke, I saw Luke look at me

and I was like, just don't just shut up. You have to close it. Then the storage unit and the closet there. It may be, it's like a 40 thing. I don't know. That's what I did. It was like, it was that year where I was like, Max, you gotta do it. First off, it's expensive.

It's shit to keep, you know, whatever, to keep this place. But also, I opened it up and I was like, oh, first boyfriend, marriage, that house that I couldn't pay for after a while. Oh, this was just everything was like, let's just put it in a storage unit. I just feel you on that and I'm like, damn, I really, I was at my best when I was really taking time for myself

and having like true self love and appreciating myself. And it's not an ego thing. Like I try to tell my friends this that go through shit, that it's not an ego thing to love yourself. It doesn't mean you should think highly of yourself. You should know your worth. You know, it doesn't mean you think you're better than everybody else.

It's just like you have to know your worth if you want to succeed in life, whatever success looks like for you. It's always a balance between your ego and self-worth trying not to be egotistical, narcissistic, while still having that confidence and self-worth to not become a dormant, right? 100%. Yeah. I feel like a lot of the, like as you were saying, sort of like hashtag best life, hashtag self-care, like a lot of it has become, like so much so that I even said, when I say me time to you, does it feel like an IRL?

Like I said that to Joel, which is ridiculous, because as you just said, it's like, I'm with you. I honestly feel like some of my happiest times were during the pandemic when I was literally just like cooking for myself. Oh my God, yes. Eating 100% like blasted music during the day with like my windows open and I'm dancing with the dogs and I'm cooking and like in my backyard and all like all the stuff and

I don't know. But what I find interesting and Luke I'm going to ask you this too is because when you say like does me time mean like an eye roll thing and I'm going to generalize and say you're obviously you love me time you get it Luke you know we're talking about but And I'm gonna generalize and say, you're obviously you love me time, you get it, Luke, you know what we're talking about, but I'm gonna generalize and say, I think a lot of men would say, like, you know, like bro, like bro dudes, like men like that would kind of do an eye roll.

Like who's my meet him? I don't know, I'll go to the gym. Like, yeah, that's cool. Like if you really mean like I need to, my thing that I do when I have time is like I really enjoy working out. Like that's different than, do you know what I'm trying to say? Yeah.

So what is your opinion on that? Like the fact that I'm generalizing brodutes. I'm with you. I think I'm a different case because I get this social fatigue where she is like social, social, social all the time. And it's like after a few days, I'm like, believe me at home, I'm just like, I've been around too many people for too many days. Let me do my thing. The same thing to what you were saying, Maggie, is like after a certain point, you're like,

okay, I need to be around people. I'm sick of me. Like I've been alone with my thoughts for too long. Yeah. Doing the same thing. I got to get out there and start talking to people again and just start, you know. Why do you think it is though that, because I'm just thinking of just like my group of friends,

like anyone who would possibly be like on Maggie's podcast, you know, and if she were to say, how do you feel about when I say the term me time? I think about my group of friends and I feel like all of my friends that are women would immediately have a connection to that. And it would all have different answers, I'm sure. I'll just have a connection to that

where I feel like most of my straight men friends would have a little bit of an eye roll moment. Yeah. I think the guys that I know that are married with kids, their me time is their morning toilet time. I think they're gonna sit there. Maybe drag it out a little longer, read something on their phone, but that's where they get their like, you know,

cone of silence, but they get in, get away from everything. This is the kind of, this is the kind of answers I also want to hear because it's still your me time. It's still your peace and quiet and however you're getting, you know what I mean, I get that, especially in my way with, I can't speak to like having kids, but in my friends.

Yeah, yeah, but like in the friends that we know, maybe they take the long way back from an appointment, like a friend of mine always says, like her car time is her like, is her time to kind of, you know, so she's never that mad when there's a little traffic. Well, she has somewhere, yeah, but that's funny. I think a lot of guys would say that.

And it's interesting. I feel like I've had a really nice response from some men that I've talked to. Nature seems to be, it's usually like sport, like a physical activity related. Yeah, kind of like you said, like working out or, you know.

Literally when I was thinking me time writing my stuff down, all of your stuff was like in my head going, Luke's going to be like, well, I love fishing. I'm really, you know, it's a piece of quiet, and I'm really patient. I love hunting, and I love golfing, and golfing's more of a social thing for me.

Okay, but you go by yourself all the time. But I go to the range by myself, and put my headphones in, and turn on a book, and I'll just like, if all. The range, the driving range, right? I'm not like, I'm like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I I'm like, I'm not like that. I'm like, what? God.

Golfy terms. Go offensive to me. No. I could really come up with, like I said, for the YouTube videos, because I either need like a really good belly laugh or just like to cry and like let it out. And I'm like, ah, batteries charge like,

like almost like reset mode. Crying is good. I feel like sometimes crying gets like a little bad rap because my therapist always says it's good. It releases a lot of, obviously it's a release, but it's like chemical, like seroton, I don't know what it is, I don't know all of the, what it does, but like...

You're neurofans in my perspective. You're neurofans, yeah. So you're releasing something which is good. And sometimes I know for me, I swear I can get to like a place of overwhelm. That's what I always tell somebody when I'm dating them. I'm like, like, if I just start crying for no reason, it just like, that's like, I know that just, I've reached a place where it's like an overwhelm. And I just need to have the time to get it out for a few minutes.

And then I can probably come back and like, have a conversation. But it's not always like, you hurt me or like like something's wrong or there's like something major to fix. It's just like for some reason my body's way of like, I just need a cry. It's sometimes it's good to trigger it almost when you know you're in that space. Like that's me in the dodo. Like I that's I probably look at the dodo way too much actually. But okay, and if I didn't, you don't know what the dodo is. It's on YouTube and it's also on Instagram and it's basically an account about all animals. So I mean, they have turtles, lizards, snakes, a lot of puppies and dogs, but it's like rehabilitation, saving that kind of thing.

So it's just, it's magical. Beautiful story. It's really, really nice. It's funny, Luke, you were talking to about how, because I know people like that are, so it's just magical. Beautiful story. Beautiful story. It's funny, Luke, you were talking to you about how, because I know people that are, I think they get refueled from, like you get energy, Kristen, from people. And sometimes, and Luke, you're saying sometimes

you get drained by too much social. I think I'm probably like that, but I have literally had times where I'm like, oh, I need to probably just retreat for a little bit, but I have a rule that a therapist told me this was after my divorce, but I really isolated for like, that was bad, like that was, and so I have a three-day rule. By the third day, I have to accept an invitation and go out somewhere and like do something, if I'm in, even if I'm in retreat time. I love that. My mom that resonates with me as well.

My mom told me when I was 21 years old, I just got out of like my first real serious relationship. We had first person I lived with, she'd on me, BlewBowBlaw. So I moved back in my mom for a few weeks before I get my next place. And I laid on the couch, cried, didn't wanna leave the house, didn't wanna talk to anybody,

and my mom was like, look, you get 48 hours. Like, whatever you need, do it all. And after 48 hours, get your ass off. Like, you don't have to go conquer the world, but like, get up, wash your face, take a shower. Yet out of the house, take a walk, go see a friend, something. Or if it's me time, like, but my me time cannot be

wallowing in that dark place forever. Like, it's just going, yeah. It's funny. My friend, my friend's husband, she, he always has a thing. And he still will say it to me occasionally. Even though I do think my little grief periods of, I'm, they're much better than they were. But it was, he has a 20-minute rule,

like, but it can be every day. So if you wanna be pissed, if you wanna be, if you wanna cry, you wanna like, whatever it might be, you just wanna get out your rage in some way, which, you know, however that is, or feelings in any way, he's always like, you get 20 minutes, closes or do whatever you gotta do, and then come back, and it's like something they do

in their merits that I think is really, is really sweet. I think it really helps them too. It's allowing yourself that. I like that I think is really, is really sweet. I think it really helps them too. Just allowing yourself that to you. I like that you said allowing that because rather than saying, well, I only get 20 minutes. No, like allow yourself 20 minutes. Look at it in like a positive light. It's hard to take 20 minutes.

It's hard, especially if you have kids, especially and they have two. Like, you know, it is about that. You're right. That is a better way to look at it. Because it does seem like only 20 minutes, it's not very long, but it's kind of shocking how hard it is to find that time.

Yeah. And what do you, so I don't know, are you like, I'm not like a meditation person, I'm way too like 80 HD for that. Like I wish that I could. I do like spiritual type things. I love like crystals and tarot cards. I learning breath work.

I think it's all super fascinating. Breathwork is one thing I'm very curious about that I haven't kind of wandered into yet. Girl, I got you. Oh, I wanna know. My friend owns a company that I got you and we're gonna get you some breath work. I feel like a lot of people are speaking

and I'm gonna come back to the rest, but breath work is in just just healers and people I know who are all in that space. That is becoming a very, like people are finding a huge, huge benefit from that. Luke, how did you feel in you, did? Well, you did breath work before I took you. Yeah, I've done it a couple of times.

It's a cool feeling. I don't know that I get quite the spiritual effect that you do, but you do you literally have these physical feelings. You start tangling and you can feel things open up inside you. It's really cool. Lou, I love hearing this from you, too. It's just like this golfing, hunting. Like, I don't know.

So to also hear this other side of like, yeah, I'm in the spiritual space or whatever it is opening up and emotional. Not that that, you don't hear of that in men as much. I'm not, like, making any sort of broad thing, but it's just as nice. I'm not in who made the broad thing. I'll say it. No, but I, but you're right, Chris, in like, I mean, this is, I'm not saying, I mean,

just in general, I know a lot of men who are very spiritual, but I'm just saying, it's nice to hear, just to even talk so openly about it as well. So are you, would it be something you stay with? I would do it again. It's not anything I do regularly. I did go through these periods of meditation when I had big changes in my life, like what you were talking about.

Like I had a break up in a move across the country during the pandemic and getting myself like back started through this time that I was, I actually went from living in my RV to living in like a 4,000-square-foot house by myself. And it's like a wild change without a girlfriend, without, you know, all these things. And I got a morning reading that had meditation, and I forced myself to do it just to try to be grateful and get my head in the right place to get going.

I love that. And, same, Kristen, so your, you are, so your breathwork stuff is in a more spiritual. I mean, just for weeks like I say, my so-my-girlfriend owns this company and they do like all sorts of things in that world. So I just, yeah, when I'm like feeling like off-kilter or I know for me, it's like when I'm about to do something that gives me like anxiety. If I know I have to like film something or do some sort of interview that I'm like, okay, I'm not, I'm not quite feeling on point. And I'll connect with her and we'll talk about, I don't know, either crystals or we'll all go over her house. No joke, it's like she makes me like touch a tree. And then we'll do like a little bit of standing breathwork, touching a tree. And then I'm like my sage or my tuning forks, my palisanto. I mean, another thing I used to do mostly, I think when like Luke's out of town, if I can have like a true evening

alone, which I actually now that I'm thinking about it, do enjoy sometimes. It's like, I need the house to be clean. My dogs to be chill. I like candles. I have a glass of wine and I turn on like a dumb romcom or romantic drama, or something like a girly-ass movie. Give me an example, I wanna know. I do this too. Oh, geez, I mean, anything Leslie Mann has ever been in.

Those are my romcoms. I love that. Yeah, I mean, my Amazon playlist is absolutely ridiculous with all the movies that I left that I just walked on repeat. Like the proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Like, you know, that kind of stuff. It's like comfort food.

It's so nice. It's so, girl, I have watched, I've probably watched the entire series of Sex in the City like 10 times. I just need to feel connected to something that feels, I don't know, I don't even know what the feeling is exactly, but I'll be like, I need to watch this one episode of Sex and the Study, and it's always the

I heart in New York episode. And I like, it's all the feels, I feel connected, I love New York, it makes me feel connected to New York. So I told, that's great me time now. I love it. You're like, I don't know what I would say. And here you are literally describing like the most beautiful, well, it's coming out. Like I'm thinking about like, you know, what you're saying is me talking what he's saying is me time and I'm like, yeah, do I do I so anyway, that's why I think your podcast is just going to go buck wild because every human no matter what you do for a living, where you live, what your circumstances are if you're, you know, children, no children with a partner, not with a partner, like you still have to, the one thing I've learned over the years,

like if you don't do you, like no one else is going to save you from yourself. And we adults now, like we might have a lot of love and comfort or whatever, but at the end of the day, it's really us, we're lucky to have our friends and we're looking at our family and whatever, but like this is our life, while we're here,

whatever this time is supposed to be. Like, I, so I find myself in a lot of that thinking lately too, but I feel, I feel like I spiritually, I do meditate, but I'm not a bit like I usually find like I, this is probably not the best example, but I run and and I do get a runner's high a little bit, and that's usually where I can work some stuff out if I need to work it out. I literally have a couple of friends who, they run, that's their thing, it's an everyday thing,

and they're not specifically doing it to be in shape, they're doing it with their brain camp. Right. Yeah, no. Yeah, that's a good way their brain camp. Yeah. You know? Yeah, it's a good way to put it. It's like, it's true though. And I have my, this is my little jar of palisandre right here. And I will do, like, I will do this stage.

It's almost funny because I feel like I, we have our little things, but it does make me, I talk to, like, I'll talk to, like, angels. I'll say, like, oh, like if I'm about to go in It's like before I did this podcast today because I do get anxiety like sort of talking about like whatever I do I'll just do like a little moment where I'll do like a grounding thing where like you talked about the tree That's a big one for me like touching like something or like the earth in some way that's why I was like even just like hiking or whatever, getting in dirt. But that's as far as probably it goes. I wish I had more of a meditation practice and I am kind of like working on that, but I definitely have the the spiritual part. I talk to healers. I have that person. I have this woman named Fatima in my life. I have this woman named

Sheena. I like I have a lot of like I feel very lucky to have a lot of guides that way. I don't know and I don't really talk about that that much, but lucky to have a lot of guides that way. I don't know, and I don't really talk about that that much, but I do have a very, feel like a good connection that spiritually, it's just not very organized. I have a question on another topic, but just as far as, you know, when you do find yourself drained or on an empty tank, you know, and you maybe are,

you're like, I don't have time to recharge. I go on to the next thing. Do you have any examples or times where that has like had an effect on a relationship, whether a friend relationship, a family relationship, a romantic relationship? But I just feel like that whole empty tank thing is something that people don't acknowledge and really comes out at the wrong time sometimes.

I feel like I have endless of those, like those stories. Mostly, I feel like I have endless of those, probably like those stories. Mostly, I feel like I have a tendency to, when I do reach that point, I almost want to like pull the plug completely and like disappear for a little bit because I have to kind of recharge or like figure out why I can't or I'm not showing up

maybe in like the way that I kind of want to for somebody, but I definitely feel like I have had a relationship where he would be like, we just need to go sit at a dog park before we can continue this conversation. And I'll be like, no, no, I'm okay. I'm completely fine. I'm very okay to have this conversation right now, but he's exactly right. Because I feel like I have really good tells, even though I hate, like, for example, I like, I try to be really careful when I'm PMS. Yeah. Because I call her Patrice the period monster.

I gave her a name in her own persona, so we know when Patrice is around, and then I'm like, I'm sorry, it's Patrice. I know we're cycle better than she does. Yeah, that's true. But I'm literally like, that is Patrice. Patrice, it was not invited over today. I apologize. We're going to set Patrice outside the door. I love creating, like, having a relationship,

like giving it, giving her a name. And like, that's where I feel like I've learned I really need to be careful. I think that what I've learned is maybe also to not feel too guilty about taking it because I've like a me time or like a minute because sometimes like, oh, by asking for it or saying it for example, like in a relationship,

it's almost like setting off some kind of signal that something might be wrong or that like I might need space from it or that it might like trigger the person in another way. And so it's I think it's like, because I can tell, from it or that it might trigger the person in another way. And so I think it's like, because I can tell, I'm a pretty big lover. I feel like I'm a big, I kind of, I love love,

and I love all things about love. And I mostly, when I'm in love, I don't want to say let a lot of things go, but I just love that. So I feel like when I feel myself getting resentful or bad stuff coming up, it's when I've kind of realized that I haven't been taking care of myself in the relationship enough. That's a great point when you're starting to want to resent the bitter or the bad juju, whatever, the bad energy inside, it's like, because I haven't been taking enough me time for yourself.

I feel like we all are hopefully in some level, in some way, I mean, I have a lot of hope in that space that we're like, we all lean toward good, I hope, or at least we try, the good people try to be good and love and whatever. So I think we are like when bad feelings come up, obviously in many times that's deserved and whatever. But if it's something that feels out of line for you

when it's like, wait, this doesn't sync up like with something feels really off. Even if it's like needs to be addressed and maybe there is a reason to be resentful, there's a reason to like go at something there's a reason to go at something. It's, I still think it's always maybe good to have a moment of sort of coming back to yourself and like regrouping before the explosion happens or whatever.

But that's always a big tell for me is like, oh, this is out of character. I'm like throwing jabs right now. I'm like getting a little bickery. Like, I'm not this upset. I'm not this mad at this person or I'm not this like, and yet it's coming out in this way. So maybe this is like a signal for me to be like,

all right, mags, go figure it out. And then come back and be like, no, I actually do need to address it. Or no, actually this was just me needed to take care of myself because I crossed my own boundaries and I'm now blaming you for it in some way that just was me not taking care of myself. Yes, the fact that, you know, it literally, right at the end when you said,

you take that moment, you need that moment, you allow yourself, like we said earlier, that moment, so then you can come back and say, now is this A, something that does need to be addressed, or B, is it not as big as I was perhaps making it in that moment because whatever else was going on for yourself at that time? I love that. I actually love, I think that's something I've kind of learned to about myself that I feel like I need that minute usually because I don't like when things build up to the point

of an explosion because then I'm like, no, no, no, that's not what I, this not me. I'm not even coming from that. I don't wanna come from that place. I wanna come from like the more, what do I say, collected or at least like a loving place. Yeah, I mean, I think that kind of sums us up for me, to be honest, is like one of the most important parts

of why you should have time for yourself, this me time, as you call it. So you always feel good inside and tackling whatever it is that the world is going to throw you because the world is always going to be throwing things in our direction, whether it is a relationship or its work or its circumstances surrounding us that we have no control over. Yeah, self-awareness. It's like, to take that to know you can put things into perspective. What can I control? What can I not control? What is coming from me versus the person I'm taking at out on?

Having that time to reflect is so important. Yes, I feel like one of the worst feelings in the world is like walking away from something and being like, I didn't mean that. Or like, well, that wasn't me. Like, why did I say that? I didn't mean it to do that. And like, I don't know.

So I was trying to avoid those moments as well, even though they happen. I love this like epiphany. This is... Anyway, I can talk about this stuff all day. Like I literally am like, can we just go have a drink already? I know.

And girl, we're going to add some meat, we've got for sure. Oh, Lou Maggi, thank you so much for coming on today. I definitely want to have you on again. Anytime I'm just like exploring all this, like let's, I could talk for days about it. And I love both of you so much. Like you're just, you guys are great.

I know, you're fantastic. We heard we were all gonna be besties. That's true. We have a last question for you though. Do we have to say, let's just ask it. Okay. Are we gonna sing it? Did you say we're gonna sing it?

We're gonna sing it. Okay. Are we gonna sing it? Did you say we're gonna sing it? We're gonna sing it. Okay, three, two, one. I would do anything for whatever, but I won't do. So you would do anything for love, but you won't do what? Uh, I won't. Well, I say this. I'm not very good at it, but I would say, oh my God, I'm gonna get serious.

Is that okay? Yes, you can go anyway you want. I won't like leave myself for you. Boom. I love it. That's fast. That's definitely the deepest dance we've gotten. And I love it. I was going to go into like some sexual acts, but I would just say to make it funny. But I was like, you know what? No, I think the thing that I, I say that, and I obviously we abandon ourselves a lot, but I also, I would say if there's anything I could stand for at this point in my life, it would I will do anything but at the end in myself.

Oh, I love that a lot. And it's so on brand. I mean sticking to it is something else. I'm going to hold myself accountable by what I just like this podcast will now have to hold me accountable. Yeah, you didn't listen to that ending in our beautiful harmony. Luke. Yeah, I'm an awful singer, but it's okay. Honey, you're good at other. Oh, it was beautiful. Oh, God, now I want to know what do people usually say?

Because I had some very funny things pop in my head that were very, very, very good. We've had some deep answers, but I will say like my friend Janet was the first person to answer it, and I already knew her answer. And she's married, by the way, but she went to a blowjob to completion. BJTC. Oh, really? Oh, how funny. Yeah, she's like, no, that's like, draw the line there. Yeah, I said I won't be a vegan.

And Luke said he won't be a vegan. I have answered so many different ways. Or do heroin. Or do heroin, that's what you said last time, yeah. That's good too. Yeah, I won't, like, I won't do it. I wouldn't do that either. Yeah.

Everyone, please, please, please, listen to Maggie's good too. Yeah, I won't do it. I wouldn't do that either. Yeah. Everyone, please, please, please, listen to Maggie's new podcast. It is called Me Time. You can listen to it everywhere that you listen to all your podcasts. And then Maggie, where can they follow you on social? Thank you so much, you all. Maggie's Laws Lawson is my personal.

We have Me Time with Maggie. It's the podcast. They're both pretty linked. So yeah. And the psychologists are in. If you guys are psych fans, then you can listen to that as well. Hell yeah. Love it. Well, can't wait to have you on again soon. It was so much fun. Thank you for this awesome episode. We had a fun. Yes. Alright, thank you all. Alright, guys, we'll see you next week. Thank you, bye. Make sure to follow us on social media.

You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Dodie and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke Double underscore, Broadway. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes every single Wednesday. Thanks for listening. See you next week.

single Wednesday. Thanks for listening. See you next week.