Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - Q&A: Feeding, Feelings & Future Babies?

Episode Date: August 10, 2025

Episode 164: In this episode, Kristen and Luke open up about hitting some new milestones in their parenting journey—from sleepless nights to moments of joy. They catch up on Bravo’s “The McBee Dynasty” (warning: spoilers ahead!), dish on what feeding their baby has really been like, and get real about the emotional rollercoaster of even thinking about baby number two. They also talk about how they’re juggling the chaos of new parenthood, what’s been surprisingly hard, and what has helped them the most—plus, the one thing every friend should do to support new parents. Also, find out who they spend the most time with from the cast. Sponsors: Nutrafol: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code DOUTE. Rula: Visit Rula.com/DOUTE to get started. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Miss me? Not you, Mom, everyone else listening. It's Dan Adute, the host of your favorite comedy food podcast, Green Eggs and Dan. We're back with another delicious season, dishing out hilarious, decadent, tender, fall-off-the-bone comedy, with more food puns than ever before. Episodes drop every Thursday. Hope you enjoyed this trailer.

I mean, this amuse bush. Okay, no more food puns. Enjoy. and listen to Green Eggs and Dan wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, my darlings. Welcome back to another episode of Balancing Act. Hi, Lukie, bookie.

Oh, hi, honey. Hi, Mama Kristen. What's up, what's up? acknowledging that you might hear a little shh in the background. There's white noise. It's a white noise machine because we have a baby. Did you know we have a baby? We're parents.

So that's what's happening. She's napping in the same room as us and you don't wake a sleeping baby. Oh, isn't that? That's really bad luck. That's like bad luck forever, not just 10 years or seven years like breaking the mirror. Yeah. Like yesterday when we went to Brittany's pool party and she was napping so peacefully in her swaddle in her little pack and play, and I was like, we got us to go.

And I was like, I'm about to wake up a sleeping baby, but I didn't. I picked her up. She slept. She, like, sort of stirred, but she pretty much just slept. Yeah, we put her in the car seat. Like the transfer. Right back to sleep. Or essentially didn't wake up.

Yeah. Her eyes open a little, but it's still like the eyes rolling in back of her head, asleep kind of deal. Dreaming. We're killing the game. It's going great. I mean, things have really turned a corner from, like, the first six weeks. And all you read is those first six weeks.

Six weeks are the fussy times, right? They peak around six weeks, and it ended up being true for us. Like, no joke. I feel like we've had a baby forever. I feel like it's been six months. And now it's like starting anew. Well, I say that the days are long with the weeks are short. Like, weeks just disappear. But every day kind of drags on. We're exhausted by the end of it. It's Groundhog's Day. Yeah, I guess. It kind of is. I mean, for me, I don't really do much. This is like the first week that I've left the house. Yeah, more, I guess. We did spend quite a bit of time at Britney's. Mm-hmm. And that's the longest, I think, we've been out of the house, and she ate three bottles.

She had three bottles while we were there. Because there were, like, friends there, cruz's nanny. Zuli was there, which was really helpful. There were friends that we trusted. Plus, she slept a little bit, slept in my arms. There were a lot of little ones around. She went in the pool for the first time. Just so many milestones.

She got what she was what got wet. up to about her waist and splashed a little on her arms and whatnot. But yeah. Just cute as hell. First time in a pool, it was 100% shaded before we brought her outside because it was so damn hot. Are you saying that because you don't want to be judged by parents? No, I'm saying it's because it was on my mind.

It's like, I was nervous. It's so hot in the damn valley. Yeah. And it's like. Well, I was freaking the fuck out. I'm like, she can't go outside. It's 97 degrees outside. I don't care if she's under an umbrella with a long sleep waiting suit on.

They're not allowed to wear like sun. What am I trying to say? Sunblock. They're not allowed to wear a sunblock, which is wild. I didn't realize skin's too sensitive. And I'm like kind of having a mini meltdown, major anxiety before we left. I called the pediatrician left a message because I'm like,

Luke, she cannot be outside, even in the shade. Like in my mind, like she's going to melt. She's just going to melt into a puddle. I'm a shitty mom. Her cheeks are going to turn bright red. She's going to have a heat stroke. Like I imagined the most horrible things. And it ended up being okay.

If you're a Google parent, like we are sometimes, When we have questions, we can't answer in the pediatrician. And the pediatrician can't answer right away what our question is. Like, what's too hot for a baby to be outside? They said 100 was the max to limit their time to like 10 minutes, but 100 in dry weather, which here is low humidity. It's dry. It was 97.

By the time we brought her out, it was probably 94. And the water was cooler than that, obviously. She was great. It worked out great. There were no real scares. She loved it. Yeah. But I'm a Google parent, and I was having anxiety, and I was damn near close to not going.

But Luke promised me we could, like, switch off and stay inside the house. And I was like, you know what? If I have to stay inside the house the whole time, we'll stay for an hour. Yolo. So that's the update. And we're getting ready to take her on a plane for the first time. She's having her first flight at eight weeks. I'm trying to remember, Luke, how old were you the first time you flew on a plane?

I have no idea. And that's a question for my mom or my dad. No clue. Like, you have no memory. We drove most, most, like, family trips because they were four kids and we're in the Midwest. So it's like a day trip to get to the coast. Yeah. I mean, we drove to Florida a lot of the time.

Florida, Carolinas. My brother, my two cousins who were, like, around the same age as us and my sister. But the first time I flew was to Florida. And I was definitely an elementary school. Not a baby. Like, I don't have a birth certificate yet, but apparently you don't have to show ID for a baby. So I could really be bringing like any baby on a plane. Like, I'm just like, look, she's a baby.

She doesn't have a driver's license. She's our baby. We have a social security card. Do I just show him like my eye photos? I'm like, look how many pictures I have. Here's her on my boob. Here's her. Here's a video of her coming out.

At one minute old. Yeah, here's a video for coming out with both of us in it. Oh, man. Listen, TSA. No, I'm just kidding. That's going to be a whole mother shebang. Holy moly. My friend, Deirdra, sent me this amazing, like,

guide to packing that she created on iPhone notes when she took her daughter to Hawaii. And it has been so helpful, Deirdre, I fucking love you. I am, like, getting ready to pack for Kaya, even though we're leaving on Tuesday. She's fine. She's just making noises in her sleep. I know. I'm just listening. I can hear.

But the packing for her, like, I'm going to throw some sweatpants and a few pairs of shorts and, like, a bathing suit for me and some hair ties. And then for Kaya, I'm going to have like a whole suitcase. I'm packing my golf clubs and wearing the same thing every day. Sounds about right. Yeah, I'll bring new underwear and socks, but that's about it. Yeah. Yeah.

Rock and roll. So do you want to dive into this Q&A? Yeah. Do you want to discuss the AMAs? Do you want to discuss the McBee Dynasty first? Oh, we just caught up. Let's talk. We just caught up on McBDenasy, guys.

So last week, Luke was in Colorado. So my girlfriend Kelly stayed with me for a week, and Kelly is like a huge McBee dynasty fan. So we binge the two episodes that I had to watch. Holy moly. And then Luke and I just got caught up on this week's episode. Yes. I'm just going to start with, I'm going to start at the end. Christy McBee is a damn saint.

She is an absolute saint of a woman. I think I said this last time even. But she's more of a saint of a woman than I could ever be. Like raising four boys, being married that long to that man who I only know from watching the show, he's a lot. And having him cheat on her with Galena, who is now 10% owner of these companies, the CFO, who's around her children all the time, who is now on a show with her, and then to sit down and film with her, she is a saint of a woman. Beyond a saint. I want to be Christy McBee when I grow up. I want her to adopt me.

I don't know. She probably doesn't want another daughter. I don't think she wants a 40-year-old daughter, babe. Thank you for calling me 40. 30, I'll take it. I'm 42. Yeah, okay. I'll take it.

Anyway, she's just a saint. She's a saint of a woman that that conversation at the end made my vagina clunch. I was so physically uncomfortable. Like my stomach hurt and she handled it like such a champ. It's something about like the tone of her voice. She sounds like Kristen Chenoweth. And she's still stern.

She's firm. Firm. She's firm. She's no bullshit, but not offensive. No, she's pretending her voice. Yeah. And I really liked when Galena said, like, I don't like what Galena said, but when Galena said, I'm sorry that I haven't apologized until now.

And like to tell you my side of the story. And she said, instead of saying, I don't want to hear your side of the story, she said, you don't have to tell me your side of the story. And I would have been like, I don't care about your side of the fucking story. You know what I mean? I would have just like, that's what I was thinking of my head. So it would have triggered you saying like, you haven't gotten a chance to hear my side of the story. It's like, I'm going to walk about your side of the story.

Yeah. But she's like, I don't need to hear it. Yeah. No, she said you don't have to tell me. Oh, you don't have to tell me. Right. Which is great. Which is just something about that.

And also. So composed. Also, listen, I don't know if this is factual. put the seats that they sat in at this restaurant and the angle of the camera at Galena showed the wine all in the background. Just thought it was interesting. I don't think it was intentional. I think it was coincidental.

I think it was coincidental. And I'm not saying Galena's a wino. Like, I'm a wino. It was my favorite thing after pregnancy. I could have more than one glass. I'm having one right now. But I just thought it was like uncanny, if you will. Yeah.

it set the tone it did um what else i got so caught up at the end i was like what else happened in this episode you have opinions about calla your frustrations about cal okay first of all i just know your audience a little bit when she when she set cole off and by i'm sorry by audience luke does not mean us as the viewers of the show read the room is what i meant to say as far as just she wants this pity doesn't know what she did wrong when she's trying to talk about how Stevens had such an easy life to his brothers, to his family, it's like, okay, that's never going to land with anybody. You're not going to, like, put somebody down when you're hanging out with their whole family. That also made my vagina clunge. That's never going to work.

No. I cannot imagine. And then she just continued the pity thing being like, I don't know what I did wrong. I've never done anything wrong. I can't imagine in a million years, like, talking shit about you to one of your siblings. To try all of them. What if they were all around me? No. Nope, nope, nope. And I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't dislike Calla. I follow Calla on Instagram. In my opinion, there's always three sides to a relationship. His side, her side, and God, like the truth, you know?

So it's like, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I'm sure within their relationship, Stephen was at fault for things as well. They just, they weren't a match, you know what I mean? And I don't think from what I'm seeing on the show, they were a match. But what we were watching, as far as her talking shit to his family about him is bananas. Yeah, it was wild. But it sounds like she's on the outs. And I hope they don't pay for her apartment too long because, oh, man, it's just, it's just so much for her to make the statements. I haven't been given a house and a condo. And Cole's like so on point. Well, you have. Yeah. I mean, and also, babe, what kind of condo to rent needs a W2 for $250,000 a year? I'm sorry? That really got you worked up. Can you find a more expensive condo? Like, is she have a penthouse in the middle of downtown? I don't know if I've ever rented anywhere that required something like that. $250,000 a year, W2.

What would the rent be on that? Just off the top of your head, what would be your guess? My guess? Well, based on lending for ownership, probably $8,000 to $10,000 a month. Damn. Because. That's more expensive than anything I've ever rented or owned in Tarasante. What else about the episode?

Oh. I mean, I don't want to go there. I love this show so much. I love it, too. Basically, this whole episode, I was. I'm always, like, on the edge of my seat. I'm like, oh, my God. But it's so much fun.

It's great. Yeah. We got to get Steven on. I know. You want. Who do you want the most? I want the McPee family. Yeah.

I want Christy on. I think she's so well-spoken, so composed. And she just is so in the know, successful, everything that those boys could ever want to mom. I can't imagine how they turn out with a different mom. One question that you want to ask Christy. Oh, I don't have. Just like just one.

right now. What's like the main thing? You're just like, oh, I got to ask her. I don't have anything just off the top of my head specifically. I want to ask her, how in the hell did your tiny little butt raise four boys? I mean, I'm more one to just congratulate her because what I was starting to say there is that these boys would not have turned out this well with a mom that wasn't as strong as she is. Like, she is as much, probably more of the reason that they are, that the boys are disciplined and successful in the industry than their father is. I'm sure their father has disciplined. He, you know, has built this up, but that, you know, strong, steady mom at home is really what builds a boy's character, I think. Yeah. More than anything. Yeah. And she's so

soft-spoken and sweet, but like you said earlier, firm. And I would love to know about parenting on her side because I personally am not like a disciplinary type person. I don't, as of right now, don't think that I believe in like grounding. I certainly don't believe in. Don't believe in grounding? Okay, these are conversations we need to have. I know.

It just hurts me feelings. I just feel like there's ways we can just talk to her and she won't even do things that need to be grounded. Okay, you're too idealistic. There have to be consequences. There are consequences for us in our lives. I am an optimist. And I plan on parenting.

every day in a way that she's my BFF, and we just talk about stuff. And then instead of being like, you're punished and you're grounded, it's like, what can we do so that doesn't happen again? That's a good way to start. But then when the lines crossed again and again, basically the repercussions have to escalate as if they would in a real life situation. If you're doing something bad... Not to a child, though.

No, I'm not talking about a six-year-old. I'm talking about a teenager. But by the time she's a teenager, she's just going to be like, she's not going to do anything wrong. your idealistic world. I will. I have 16 years till I have to think about it. No, we have like 12 and a half, but anyway. Moving on so many questions, you guys. Okay, I'm just going to start really fast that there were like a billion, gazillion questions on, this is like totally switching gears, on how we feed her. It was like, tell me about breastfeeding and pumping and this and formula and all the stuff. So I never really breastfed except for right out the gate. Like right

when she was born, she latched onto the boob, it was great. But we knew from day one, and I think we said this a couple weeks ago, that we wanted to combo feed because I never wanted to be stressed out if I wasn't producing enough milk. I wanted Luke to be able to feed her. We didn't know if we were going to have help at the time. I wanted help to be able to feed her. So we started formula on night one as well, like we want, or night two, that we wanted, was it night one? Yes. That we wanted to try. So I never really breastfed. I did pump for about six weeks. I didn't really produce a lot of milk. I fed her pretty well, like a, not well. I fed probably like three or four bottles a day in the beginning. And then I really wasn't making enough to feed more than like a bottle

or two a day. So I just stopped. And I think it's been, I don't know, overall, you know, just less stress on you. Yeah. It made me sad that I couldn't. I was never really about. all about like just breastfeeding anyway. It was never my goal. But then when I realized I wasn't, it wasn't happening for me. And I think that I could have tried a little harder. I could have done all the supplements. And I could have pumped eight times a day to like up my milk supply, but it just wasn't coming like naturally to me. And it stressed me out. And she really loves a bottle. And stress transfers. I mean, cortisol comes through the rest milk. So. But she loves a bottle. There have been times where I'm like, oh my God, let me just give her my boob really fast. And

she's like, fuck you. She's like, no, mom, I don't want it. She wants the easy way out, and I am totally fine with that. So that's what's happened. So we formula feed, we switch formula we're doing for the moms out there. We were doing infamil, neuro pro, gentle ease. We're finishing each other's sentence like syllable by syllable. And then that worked for a while.

And to be honest, I don't know if that made her super gassy and colicky or, if it was just the time in her life, but she was really, really gassy. So we switched to HIP, which is a Dutch formula European. No shame on anyone who uses American. I immediately noticed how our baby Bresa, like formula maker was no longer, it wasn't like congealed when it was coming out. Whatever, formula mixer. I was just noticing how it wasn't like congealed anymore. We didn't have to like peel it off. It's just like powder now. It's a finer powder. for sure. Yeah. And it's just less ingredients and honestly super easy on our stomach and everything's better all around. So that's what worked for us. Hot days, humid nights, nonstop plans and let's be real

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to book your next eye exam i exams provided by independent optometrists serious xm is the home to the best in podcasts including jeff lewis has issues here's what you need to know about my podcast i don't follow drama but drama follows me i just like fighting other people's battles and i like drama okay maybe i do follow drama but i share every piece of it with you on my podcast. I'm like, oh, that ended. Oh, that ended. That's on pause.

That crashing bird. Oh, he sued me. Listen to me so you can feel better about you. Jeff Lewis has issues. Is available anytime on the serious XM. Or wherever you get your podcasts. Luke, another question that we got asked that. Are we going to try for another baby soon?

I mean, you've kind of made me nervous the way you've answered this a couple of times. Yeah. We'll see we kind of want another one. And that's not what we talked about and what we agreed on. I want another one. It stresses me out to think about getting pregnant right now. I am loving my time with this baby. And I'm still with this baby, with our baby.

And I'm still trying to, like, deal with postpartum and, like, being in my fourth trimester. And, like, the thought of getting pregnant right now is, like, insane. So I can't answer the question in a positive way. It's about, baby, it's not like now or never. I think it's, like, the stress that I'm 42. we did, you know, go to a fertility doctor, I want to, like, manifest and have high hopes. Like, it's not going to be that hard the second time around.

And we could possibly do the same route that we did this time. It's just, I think it's just a lot of stress to think about right now. So I need to be asked in, like, a few months. But you still want Kaya to have a sibling? I absolutely do. So then say, yes, that is the plan. That's what I'm saying. Answer that way instead of like.

Well, the question is, are we going to try for another baby soon? Okay. Soon. Okay. So soon is, depending on what you call soon, my answer is no. I think you and your brother are 18 months apart, correct? 15. 15.

Okay. A little closer than what I was thinking. My sister and I are 18 and I know that's, I feel like that is a, you know, like nine months after giving birth, eight, nine months after giving birth, getting pregnant again is a reasonable range. I do agree that it would be insanely stressful if you got pregnant next week for you and not good for Kaya, for us, for the baby coming in. That's not the plan.

But who knows in a few months. That's what I said. Let's ask me in a few months. Okay. All right, moving forward. Luke, what is your pit and peak of parenthood so far? Let's see. I'd say, it's tough to say a pit.

I mean, the peak has been almost every day recently. Like the way she's more engaging now, she's just happier. And also, don't hate me. there are times where she wants me. Honestly, I'll say the peak was, you weren't just changing her, changing her clothes too, I think. She was on the changing table,

and she made a cry that sounded like Daddy. That's definitely a peak for me right now. I'd say the pit would be the scare that she, I don't remember if she hadn't burped enough or what, but we laid her down on the changing table, and she was sleeping. She was still sleeping, and she woke up.

She was congested, and she, like, kind of, kind of coughed but wasn't making any noise but her face eyes got big and her arms were spread out and it was like is she choking you know what's happening yeah it was just like a moment of like that's scary moment she's fine obviously and didn't you know to take her to hospital or anything but like a freak out like holy shit she's so fragile right now this could be really bad that scare i'll say would be the pit for me right now okay i wasn't going to go that deep but my pit was just lack of sleep and feeling crazy in the beginning. In the very, very, very beginning, it was a lot, and I've said

this, I think I've said this a couple weeks ago, but it was a lot harder than I thought. And parents will tell you, oh, like, you don't know. And you're not going to sleep. And you're like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. And you really, you just don't. Nothing can prepare you. It is what it is. But it truly is, this will pass. And it feels like it takes forever. I'm not going to sugar coat shit. It feels like the depths of hell when you don't have any help, what's so ever. But I also got really good at not sleeping. I kind of, I do well. I know that like, I just, I know how to perform. I'm like, this is how it is. So I just don't sleep. So that was really the only pit for me so far. And yes, my anxiety, of course. My anxiety is crippling. And that's not

fun. But I don't think, you know, that's necessarily the baby. And my peak is just like her. My peak, yeah. It's every day. Like the problem. Every day is just like when there's something new, it's the new peak. And when I, I feel like when I nail something, when I like learn something and I'm like, I got it. And like, Kaya and I are like on, like, we're on the same level. I'm like, this is what you want. I'm going to deliver. And we're both happy.

I'm like, yeah. So that's mine. And honestly, one of my peaks is that she really wants you sometimes. Oh, perfect. Because then I can have a break and like clean or like do something. myself. I've been trying to get you to go have a girl's night so that. I'm not ready for that. Okay. It doesn't have to be a girl's night. Whatever. Go to a concert. Go do something where you're gone for like four to six or eight hours. Oh, God, no. Are you crazy? No, I'm not crazy because I want to

go golfing. I want to be gone. I want to be able to be gone for that. So I need you to be able to do it at some point so you're not upset with me for being gone for four to six hours. Gotcha. What are you finding to be your biggest struggle? Honestly, it feels. like we're, I'm past what was the biggest struggle. What was the biggest struggle? The sleep with, you know, the fuzziness, there was a period where it felt like anytime she was awake, she was unhappy. The gas, it's like, just wanted to go back to sleep.

That's the only time we had peace. And the late nights. I think it made you feel differently. It made me sad. It was frustrating, but also the fact that like the way I sleep, and you said this before too, I sleep so hard that the only way I could give Kristen. a solid like five hours straight of sleep was for me to just stay up till 5 a.m.

And drink coffee at like 3 a.m. I drink coffee all night, whatever. But it's what I could do to make sure that you got, you know, a solid stretch of sleep a couple times a week at least. And that was the only way it would work because I don't know, I'm like out of it when I wake up after only a couple hours of sleep. When I'm going on little sleep. Yeah.

If I could change anything, like if I were like God and I could like change something about you, because we're parenting a newborn, it would be that your sleep wasn't the way it was. But then in real life, outside of having a newborn, I'm jealous that you sleep the way that you do. That I can fall asleep immediately and be deep asleep. Oh, yes. It's great. It's not been great when here's the other thing is that she's on your side of the bed and now you come to terms with this, but you're like, why don't you wake up? And I'm like, because she's right next to you. Of course you're going to wake up first. I mean, I wake up before she wakes up now.

Yeah. I wake up a good 20 minutes before she even wakes up. I think it's just like intuition. She and I are connected. When we were both running on empty, though, obviously she's going to be louder to you being a few feet closer to her than me, plus the motherly instinct, you know, of it all. I guess you got to cuddle me a little closer then.

This question I want to answer only because, I don't know, I think it's interesting, but it's like, did baby sleep through the night when you first got home? And this was only because it's something that I didn't know until we gave birth. You have to, which your doctor, the nurses will tell you, the hospital will tell you, you have to wake the baby up every three hours or less to feed them. So that is why sleep is hard. I bet if you let that baby sleep through the night, that baby would sleep through the night,

but you can't because the baby has to eat. I mean, or she'd wake up just howling so much that then she would try to drink too fast and then she'd throw up and there'd be all these other problems. Making sure she keeps that belly full, keeps peace in her world. But that was just something I didn't know as a new mom is that the baby has to eat that often. For the first couple weeks, it's every three hours, yes. Yeah, it was just something new to me. No one told me that.

Did we get pregnant in Hawaii? No. We did not. We got pregnant three weeks after Hawaii. That sounds right, yeah. Just over three weeks after. How are you balancing being a new mom, babe, with all your kids? your other demands. I am balancing it the best that I know how. And that's really when she sleeps and I know

she's out. I just go into like task rabbit mode. And the best way I know how to do that is like room by room. I'm like, okay, I don't like clutter. So I just try to declutter. I make lists. I try to get things done as best that I can. And honestly, I've lessened my demands. I only say yes to the things I know I can handle and sometimes I say yes to one too many but I'm giving myself a lot of grace with like just not saying yes to things that I can't handle and there's a lot of sitting around but I can do yeah I'm just so crazy you're better at it than I am yeah for sure um okay this is throwing back to our last podcast together how long can we expect before a beautiful wedding well we talked yeah we did talk about this um a little bit before I

I feel like every few days or week that goes by, I'm like, you know what? I should stop saying, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. It's one of the things that's hard for me to prioritize right now because I'm just now letting things into my life that I need to prioritize work-wise and socially. But I'm like, you know what? I should start prioritizing that. That would be really fun. Maternity leave is almost over.

Maternity leave is almost over. So how long can you expect? I don't know. Maybe next year. Definitely not this year. Definitely not this year. Next year, the earliest. Yeah.

The following year, probably at the latest. Yeah. 2026, 27. Yep. What is something you wish you knew about giving birth or postpartum? Oh. So about giving birth. So I feel like my birth was really easy.

Like I said this before, it was like way scarier to think about it. but granted I did have the epidural, I was induced, so that was a little different, but something that I wish I knew about giving birth. Damn, that one's kind of hard. About postpartum, I feel like I was really prepared by, like, Nia, because she's so fresh in all of it. I didn't realize what my boobs would be like. I didn't know my boobs, like, I could put the highlighter underneath there and they'd be so,

like, floppy. But they're beautiful. They fed my daughter. I get it. I didn't realize that about like my abs, like that they don't like reconnect right away that I had that I would have to give myself more grace with like my healing time, even though my Vigene stitch healed pretty quickly, I think, or like on time. I didn't realize that I would have to kind of let myself be a little lazy as far as like working out or things like that go. Like that it really does just take time and kind of like I said like I remember

right when we started podcasting after giving birth that I was like, I was feeling very okay with not doing anything. And now that Kaya's eight weeks, I'm like, damn, should I already be in shape? Like, should I already be like hustling and bustling? Like, I'm kind of starting to have those thoughts. And I think that I just have to be like, you know what? Oh, well. So I don't know, something like that. I got this question and I want to answer it too. Okay. What's the best thing a friend can do to support new parents? So I will say... I don't really have an answer.

The best thing, in my opinion, this is early on in the trenches. Like, definitely in the first six weeks that the whole, you know, something we go through every day as adults is deciding what we're eating for dinner. Jesse and his girlfriend, Jesse and Lacey. You're right. They sent us dinner one night. They post-mated to us and didn't even ask us, didn't give us options. and try to make us, you know, make decisions, do this sort of thing.

They're just like, hey, can we send you dinner tonight? Kristen doesn't like to accept that sort of thing. I said, Kristen, probably won't say yes, so I will. You know, thank you so much. And they said, okay, done, it'll be there at this time. And I'm like, amazing. And don't to think about it, don't to make a decision. And then they sent us breakfast.

And then they sent us breakfast, too. I mean, just when dinner appears, you didn't even have to go through a thought process. Yeah. I will say that is the best thing a friend can do for new. parents. When you're figuring everything else out, it's just become almost becomes an argument. Like, I don't want to think about dinner. What do you want to eat? I'm like, I don't know, but we need to eat something. And it's like back and forth like this. Okay, do I just make spaghetti marinera again? Yeah. I'm sick of it. And then, you know, blah, blah, blah. Okay, postmates. Okay,

we're doing that again. Anyway. You're so right, though. It does almost become an argument because we're both just so brain dead. Well, lack of sleep to begin with. And on top of that, it's like we're still figuring things out. If you read the books, whatever, if this is your first kid, there's still anxiety and the stress involved in whatever, every decision. Decision fatigue is a thing. The best thing you can do to help your friends out, if you're good friends with them, you know what they like to eat, send them dinner and just tell them what time it'll be there. Yeah. Because that was such a great night. I always had such a big smile on my face eating that steak from Craigs. Thank you, Jesse and Lacey. And those breakfast burritos. The breakfast burritos were fantastic. What a, what a thing. Like that's

what I would tell anyone to do. She sent us like two breakfast burritos each. Yeah, to make sure we had what we wanted. Which was like above and beyond. Above and beyond, yeah, for sure. But it was really amazing. 100% what I'm going to do for friends when they have their first kid is just send them dinner when I know they're going through it. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. What have you been watching while contact napping or breastfeeding? So contact napping. I'm so glad that you asked this because that is when I'm sitting the most. I've just now learned to swaddle Kaya. I've just now learned that she likes independence.

This is really new to me. My friend Kelly showed me that sometimes Kaya wants to be swallowed and laid in her pack and play and just be by herself. But for the most part, I do contact Knapp her, and that is a lot of sitting around on the couch. So I have been watching, welcome to Plathville, and I have done seasons one through six. I just finished it, actually.

I just finished the whole entire series. in less than two weeks. We do watch McBee's. That's my other reality TV thing. Any kind of true crime I can find, I think I've seen it all. And then it's like, I don't know, it depends on the movie. Like, I'll watch a scary movie during the day. I just watched The Presence.

That was really good. And I go to like normal rom-coms. But I try to find something new. But I highly recommend welcome to Plathville. Holy shit. Yeah, you've been watching that. so much. So I showed up in like season four. I have not gotten into it. I can see how people could get into it. But you are aware of it though. You like know who some of these people are.

You know what's going on. Yeah, Micah, Ethan, Mariah. I know the names because you have it on. Don't tell me you're not into it. You have it on all the time. How could I not catch these things? It's Kaya's nap time. Anyway, I'm like, put plath the lawn. She needs to go to sleep. Not hanging on the show. Yeah, he was watching like one of his shows and then handed me the baby. and, like, immediately went to Hulu and put Plathod. And he was like, it's, like, queued up to where I need to, like, come back into. You're the best babe. Yeah.

Okay. Thanks, babe. I love you too. What car seat do you have? We have the Ergo baby, Aria. No, let's back up. Ask me that question. I'll tell you what it's called.

It's not Ergo. Upper baby. Yeah. It's one of those babies. We have the up a baby, Aria, and our stroller is the Vista V-3. What do we have an ergo baby? We have something, Ergo baby. We do have an ergo baby.

We do have an ergo baby. baby travel stroller and we have the ergo baby bouncer chair i feel like we have everything all the baby stuff um who's your favorite person to hang out with from the show me of course next question oh come on it's me and you okay you don't count who's your favorite person to hang out with we hang out with zach the most i i i have our own relationship definitely outside of the three of us yeah zach and i hang out for sure i hang out with him more than anybody after that you know Danny's so busy. I would love to hang out with him more. I think he and I connect on a lot of things that other people miss on. I mean, I could go down on us too. I'm like, Zach, Nia,

Brittany, Jasmine, like 100% Jesse. I love Jesse. But it's all different. It's all like so different. And I love, if I have to just choose one person, Britney would fucking kill me. But it's Zach. I mean, Zach, because Zach just comes over and he just stays here for hours and hours. He doesn't have to be entertained. He, like, sits on his phone. We watch the exact same shows together. He just wants to be fed. I actually cook more when Zach's here than when he is here.

Exactly. Oh, it's funny. Anyway, I love you, Zach. Love you, Jesse. Love you, Danny. Love you guys. I don't know. You don't love Jasmine.

I love those people, too. Sorry. I only went to guys. Digging yourself a hole. Anyway, what is the item you wish you would brought in your hospital bag? Absolutely enough. thing. I overpacked. We brought way too much stuff. I didn't touch half of the things that I brought. There's nothing that we missed. Maybe pistachios. Snacks. Some different snacks. I got tired of

the snacks that were brought. I brought like trail mix. Yeah, but you also couldn't eat for a long time. You were on juice diet for a bit. Yeah. And then we were only there for like a 36 hours after you gave birth. I'll show you guys my packing list. It was absolutely redonculus. What's the name of the brand of Luke's hats on this last season of the Valley. I don't know about brand, but I wore a lot of Shellback Tavern hats. That's what they're talking about. Okay. So it wasn't all that. I wore a couple of different golf hats. They're talking about Shelbach. Okay, Shelbach Tavern. But anyway, I'm going to come out with my own freaking hat line because why wouldn't I at this point, right? But thanks for asking. Showback Tavern. Awesome place. I got a new one. You'll see it this season.

What is my brand and style of glasses? I don't know the style, but my glasses are Warby Parker. I have two pair, regular, same ones in sunglasses. Bam. My sunglasses are three for $15 on Amazon. Polarized. Search it. You'll find it. Promise you. They're great. Best advice that I got while pregnant. My girlfriend, Courtney, told me in early pregnancy that I cannot jinx it. And that was the best advice that I got. I almost just got, I almost got really emotional because it meant the most to me. And I carried it with me, through my whole entire pregnancy. You cannot jinx this.

There's nothing that you can jinx if whether it's going to go right or wrong, or go wrong. Sounds great for anxiety. It absolutely is. And if you're not like an anxious person, you probably will be during pregnancy. Yeah.

Which bassinet do we have? The muckin'nobu. The snoo and she's in the pack and play. Pack and play. Okay. The guava lotus peck and play. But the snoo is a life changer. If you're into it,

I highly recommend it. I'm a little nervous about not using it because I'm like, is she going to sleep without the movement? But I think she will. Okay. Luke, this is for you. Did Luke use any apps to prepare or follow along? Not as much available for dads to be. So I did not use an app.

However, there was a great book called We're Pregnant that really helped keep my head right as far as what Kristen was going through. it was chaotic or times I was questioning like what is happening like who are you kind of thing so understanding the hormones understanding the stages the trimesters it was very very helpful and me grasping what was happening with you was it it was like an easy read it's an easy read for sure and it is something like you can read through it quickly but it's also a good reference to go back to it says you know this week that week this trimester that trimester anyway It's called We're Pregnant the First Time

Dad's Pregnancy Handbook by Adrian Culp. Great book. On top of that, things I learned that I want to pass along is I believe there are other guys that are being the same boat as me. You're going to be shown a lot of different onesies, a lot of different outfits, a lot of different colors and a lot of different stuff,

almost like crap, for the nursery and whatnot. Just program your brain. That's so cute. Just program that and just use it As often as you can, your brain says, I don't care. Don't say that. Say that's so cute. That's what you got to do.

Promise you. It will help. Period. That's so cute. Am I right? You're spot on. Bingo. I don't care doesn't fly.

Oh, God. Top five things you would recommend new moms to add to their registry. I don't know if you want to add anything to this, Luke. For me personally, if you're a formula feeder, the baby bras a formula maker machine situation, the hatch sound machine. If it's not the hatch one, it's really any sound machine that has light on it. I learned that you want to use like a red light, not a blue light. I thought blue was calming.

Bad idea. I know. I get it now. Computers, phones, blue light. Ugh. The Nanit baby monitor is the one that we use. I love it so much. The Stoke Highchair that has a newborn seat, like a newborn.

attachment. I didn't think we were going to need or use it. We ended up getting it the attachment we got a little bit later. And Luke and I actually get to sit at the table and eat breakfast together. And we put her in the newborn attachment and she totally chills. That's great. And I was mind blown that that worked out for us. And A number one, the diaper genie. Anything else that we have or were registered for that you think was a game changer, that you really has really been helpful? Yeah. What?

So at first, we were hand washing and boiling bottles to sterilize them. It's very important. Small babies, big germs, et cetera. And Nia, when I told her that, she said, she laughed at me, sent me a voice memo and said, that's like the medieval times. What do you mean your hand washing and boiling bottles? So we got this mom cozy, right? That's a brand.

This bottle washer, sterilizer. and it kicks ass. It's really, eight bottles at a time. Yeah. It says like you can do four and Nia told me stack, stack, stack.

And we do and you can get eight. She said even nine in there. They come out clean. You can throw pass fires in the top. This thing, it's fantastic. Fab. Fabuoso. Oh, have I met Gemma? Lindsay Hubbs, babe.

No, I have not met Gemma in person, but Lindsay sends me videos of her often. I send her photos and videos of Kai. And it's so fun to just see. I mean, she is the cutest flipping baby. Oh, she's so cute. And she's so much fun. And it just makes me excited to see where Kaya's going to be in a few months.

I cannot wait. The biggest change for me post birth. I think the biggest change for me happened pre-birth. Okay. In that my... Kaya just... Guy had just let one rip. That's really funny.

Just how much less time I could spend in Colorado, you know, friends say before the baby get all your projects done. And I've only spent a couple weeks there this year. Adjusting to that has been definitely a change for me. And I'd say that is, that's the number one thing is not having the freedom to travel. It didn't even really consider it traveling. I considered it going back to my place where now that's not really an option, you know. a parent, going to be a husband. And this is where we are right now. But I want it to be

the projects to be finished to where we can go there as a family and stay for longer times. It's just a difficult balance right now. And I'd say that is the biggest change and like kind of difficulty for me. Yeah. I think the balancing of it all is I was talking to my waxer about this. she was saying like make sure the baby adapts to your lifestyle and that once you're comfortable with her like people holding her like make sure you pass her off a lot so she's more comfortable that you bring her to things that you're going to do that she becomes a part of your life and your life doesn't totally change and I think that we're almost at the spot where I will feel more comfortable with it being that way and I think going to Brittany's pool party

was like the first introduction to that for me but I think that I think up until now, she's just been too young and my anxiety has been too high. So I think I'm just starting to ease into the idea of Kaya becoming a part of our life rather than our life changing around Kaya. And she doesn't even know what's going on. She's just an eight-week-old baby. Yeah, she won't remember any of this. As long as we protect her, keep her healthy, we're doing a good job.

We're killing it. At this point. High-five. High-five. Can't reach you. Can you touch fingers? Three fingers. So that's what's going on, guys.

Okay, rock and roll, hootiku, we'll talk to you next week. Okay, all right. Thanks for tuning in. I got to throw in last thing. Oh, do it. Is August 9th, I believe you're hearing this after that, is Rugby Rocks Festival. This is something I'd planned. I'm hearing it after the, yeah.

Okay, whatever. Anyway. I'm very proud of you. Festival, I'm proud of Greg, my neighbor best friend, the guy that married Rachel, that where Kristen and I met and started all this that resulted in Kaya and the Valley and whatever else, He definitely had to take the reins with Kristen being pregnant with the timing of Kai's birth. I handled getting the merch out there.

I'll be posting it on Instagram. It will be available to buy for those who don't make it there, which I'm guessing is no one probably listening to this. Anyway, check it out. If you can support, great. This is like kind of a trial run. Next year, we plan to make it a bigger deal and you'll know about it many months in advance. Yeah, I'm really proud of you guys.

Really proud of Greg. Same. I can't wait to hear how it goes, playing a FaceTime in tomorrow to try to be part of it for at least, you know, 20 minutes or an hour. Because rugby rocks. Rugby freaking rocks. Okay, we'll talk to you nice. Okay. Thanks for listening. Bye. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Doty and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke double underscore Broderick. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes.

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