Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - Relationship Stages

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

Episode 49. This week, Kristen and Luke break down the different stages of relationships while providing some of their own personal experiences! Sponsors: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/kristen New customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code DOUTE at LumeDeodorant.com.  Cozy Earth provided an exclusive offer for my listener’s today. Up to 35% off site wide when you use the code DOUTE. Do yourself a favor and head over to organifi.com/doute and use code DOUTE to claim 20% off your entire order today. Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Email us: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi you guys, I'm Kat and I hope you come hang out with me on KatSatlerNow. On my weekly podcast I continue to ask the questions. I've been interviewing people for more than 25 years now, but that doesn't mean I found all the answers. Make sure to listen to KatSatlerNow wherever you get your podcasts. Hello lovers and friends, welcome back to another episode of Sex Love and Reynolds Matters. Lou and I have been talking about relationship stages, right babe? Yeah, and there's a number of different takes that different therapists or just you know relationship writers have as far as the way they label these and Some break them up into like seven to ten stages. Some say there's five. Anyway, we've gone through a number of different articles and we put together The way we kind of see it

And we're gonna go through this and recap where some of our relationships have ended. I mean, honestly, yes Some of these literally cite like one of them is Women's Health magazine and it says according to therapists You know what some of these people might just be fucking vloggers, you know They could just be people that are in a really awesome relationship. They're like in the honeymoon phase and they're like, I'm going to write about how awesome relationships are. Or someone might be just like a better person, not a vlogger, a blogger. And they're writing about it too.

But at the end of the day, we're all in different relationships. We've all experienced different relationships. And I'm interested in hearing everyone's perspective to be honest Because I think you and I both agree that we agree and disagree with some of these right? 100% well, let's get into it But the thing is when they're like well from you know zero to six months is when you're in this phase and after two years You're definitely in this phase. Let me tell you. I was in a relationship for six years and this shit does not does not follow take it with a grain of salt, you're definitely in this phase. Let me tell you, I was in a relationship for six years,

and this shit does not follow. Take it with a grain of salt, you know, but I do think there's some really interesting POVs, and I'm just really into reading all about this stuff. Hence why we have a podcast. I'm in a numerology astrology, anyograms. Why not the relationship stages? Oh, I still have to do that any gram. Do I? you do because we're gonna talk about that Shit another time. Okay. Okay, so the this one article that we had read just like kind of on our own a while back And we'll cite Happiful.com And this one gave us the seven stages of loving Relationships. So let's talk about this Luke. So they're saying stage one is discovery, which we also call the honeymoon phase.

Everybody knows about the honeymoon phase. It's super exciting. For me, I think it can last like days to weeks to months. Yeah, I think there's also cases where it could last up to a year, kind of like that says, but mostly that's probably at younger ages when we're still figuring ourselves out that we are like, I don't know, you can say in this rose colored lenses stage, we always look at your partner like, this is the person I have to be with and not even really growing to see those things.

I guess I just think back to high school or college when it might last longer because we're both adults here, we kind of move through these stages quicker because we want to kind of get past Some of those life happens to and totally agree with you on that But yeah, so I mean that's essentially what the first phase is and everyone you guys kind of know what that means It's just like oh man everything's so great. You show the best version of yourself You know typically this isn't when you're like piling on your dirty laundry or your baggage onto someone else quite yet unless you're me. Because I just throw that shit to the window.

I'm like, here I am, you know, what does Marilyn Monroe say? If you don't like me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best girl power. It's a good quote. I know. Thanks. I didn't write it. I mean, supposedly Marilyn Monroe said it. But essentially, it's like, I'll quote this.

It says, among the passion, new levers often worry about small disappointments, things that don't meet their ideas, expectations, and lists of what they want in a relationship. And I think that's a good point. I think in this discovery phase that leads to a sort of the honeymoon phase, this is when you, or at least I'll speak for myself,

I would have a checklist. I'm like, well, and my checklist was pretty superficial. Like, okay, he has to be taller than me. He has to be funny. Like he has to make me laugh, be funnier than I am, and at least as smart as me. Maybe that's not superficial, but the tall thing, I won't can't date a short dude. Yeah. I don't know. I just think this is like when you have these little like checklists and then you could run from like the imperfection

or you just deep dive into it because you're not seeing any of the imperfections. Right. And I think most relationships and in the first one or two stages with the discovery or having the impulse to run from the imperfect, the relationships I've had that I don't even necessarily consider breakups are the ones that only lasted a month because there were some things that were like, oh, I didn't like that.

And then a couple times it happens. And I'm like, you know what, like your checklist. If I, there was something that wasn't on my checklist, it might be a reason to just move on. I'm granted. If I'm being honest, I agree with what you're saying. But I don't even think that has to do with the checklist. I think at that point, you're just like, no, this isn't a person for me.

Yeah. Which is totally fine. Intuition. Yeah, so we're like discovery. We're kind of in the honeymoon. And then this particular little article says, Hyden Seek, which I've never heard of before. I don't know why. This one's like a little negative for me. It's like discovery, then Hyden Seek, which is what they're saying is like the pursuer and the one who's like running away,

like the little dance that they play, which is really just like playing hard to get, in my opinion. Well, I 100% remember the stage for us. Okay, do tell. Well, to be fair, you were very much resistant to dive into a relationship, which no one can blame before. You were so fresh out of it when we started, essentially, we started talking.

But I was definitely the pursuer, and we talked all the time. You weren't ready for a relationship. But I wasn't not ready. Well, I mean, we kind of started talking every day in June and then it was November before you were willing to admit that we were in a relationship. That's true. Because I jumped from relationship to relationship, it's just what I do. I love connection.

So it was like, well, this is dumb. Why am I going to run away from this if you and I, like, if it's so great, but then that's like the mind over the heart. Like, that's the dance I do within myself. Like this feels good, it feels good, but is it smart, Kristen? Because Kristen only thinks what the heart, not with the head.

Oh, and I'm the opposite. I'm like, gotta make it look right logically. On paper? Not just on paper, but like, I've got to be able to see that future, right? Because I'm like looking like, okay, what would this look like in the future? And I'm thinking very logistically,

very pragmatically, like, is this something where in a few years, we could be at my relationship goals based on, you know, all these factors. And I kind of would take my heart out of it to some degree. Obviously, there's some physical attraction, the infatuation, having my heart in it to begin with.

Obviously, my heart is in it at all. Some physical attraction, girl. I wasn't talking about you. There has to be that initial attraction. Obviously, it looks on everything, but there has to be chemistry. Chemistry. Exactly. Totally.

Yeah, and I don't think that I probably looked great on paper if I'm being honest. I was listening to one of my favorite T-Swift songs the other day. It's called Delicate. And the line is, this is for the best. My reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me. I was like, oh, why does that remind me of Luke so much? Well, I didn't really know your reputation. That was part of me getting to know you. And I feel like the way that you explained it to me,

and just the way that we connected on talking about the future, like we did talk, what do you want? How do you see in life, you immediately are like, I want kids, I'm almost 40. It kind of has to happen fast. So just run away now if that's not something you're into. That is true, because I didn't want to waste my time or yours. Right, and so that was, I'm like, okay.

I'm like, hi, nice to meet you. We had a nice little romp behind a tent. I know we don't even live in the same time zone, but I want babies, and if you're not there, walk away now. Yeah, well, I didn't say I'm there right now, but I'm like logically, to me, logically that all made sense. I understand a woman's body clock,

and at my age, I'm ready for things to move fast, and I kind of knew that before we started talking. I was like, you know, finding a person where our ideas and goals align, and we're both hardworking people, kind of doing our own thing, but have the same goals of mine. It can work together to get to this point that we're both trying to get to.

That was a huge attraction. We both want the same things in the long term. Yeah, no, for sure. Okay, so we have this discovery that kind of goes into this hide-and-seek possibly. If we believe in that, I don't know how I feel yet. Definitely the honeymoon phase from Women's Health Magazine. Then in that same article, it goes from honeymoon to the uncertainty stage, which kind of aligns with the other article we are reading. And this is where things aren't perfect.

And like all the, this is a phase that I feel like, I know really, really well when I'm dating someone, where it's like, oh my gosh, this thing is so cute, right? This little cork about who is so cute and funny or adorable or whatever and then later time goes on, it's like that's the one fucking thing that drives me crazy or drives someone crazy. You know what I mean?

Yes, that. It. Oh my God. I'm like just guessing all the things you could think of right now. It's like it's so cute until it isn't and then it's irritating. Yeah, and then it's like the one quirk that you're just like fucking stop it. Oh my god, but if you can get past that, then they say that it's I like I just like this

other one, this five stages. So from there, it's like this adjustment phases, what they call it. I don't love the name of the names of the phases, but the adjustment phase, I do really agree with, and I think this is something that can last a lot longer in my experience, in my opinion. And this is like, do our lives align? Like, yeah, there's stuff about like, ooh, religion or politics and blah, blah, blah, screw all that. Do our lives aligned? Well, our families get along.

Does it make sense where we lived geographically? And if that for you and I, that was a hump we had to get over, but are you willing to adjust to things in that way? Right, and right along with adjustment, I know I've heard in other articles, the power struggle is the same thing. It's like, who's giving in and who's willing to, yeah, basically who's willing to compromise

to the others' needs and it has to go back and forth. And when one side's not willing, then it usually, things fizzle out in this stage because of the adjustments that have to happen. Right. And otherwise, not to be like negative and nancy-dabby downer over here, but I think during the adjustment phases when people can, I speak for myself,

that can become resentful for sure. It's the time that I, in my past relationships, have like started doing the like point system or like, you know, like keeping score. Keeping score. Thank you. It's like the one thing you're not supposed to do that we learned with having Heather, my

therapist on many, many episodes ago in the beginning, keeping score and being like, oh, okay, I'll remember that. I'll put that in my backpack, which is never helpful, but I think during that stage is when I've been really guilty of keeping score. Right. And that also brings everything to the surface as far as what can you and what can't you live with about your partner. Yes. Oh, that's great. What's the bottom line? Like, okay, is this something that really bothers me? Are you willing to work on it? Right. Like, you think farting is funny and I just don't.

I can live with that though. I don't understand how you don't think farts are funny. You guys the other day in the car, like very, were we in the car? I think so. Yeah. Very randomly Luke was like, I have to ask you something. I'm like, okay. I never start stuff.

Well, what? He's like, you really don't think Farting's funny. Like, wait, what? No, I don't. Like never. She doesn't think any fart, no matter how weird it or hilarious hilarious sounds is funny She's just like tax like it didn't happen. Well, I don't think that that's funny

But I can live with your childish boy humor I don't see any downfall to me laughing at flatulence. Oh my god Please don't ever say flatulence ever again. But yes, anyway, this is the stage that I think can make or break a couple. I've stayed in relationships where that phase has intermingled with future phases too, where I've again, where I've just been resentful about things, I'm like, you know what?

I can live with that. At least he's not a serial killer. I can live with the narcissism and the mood swings and the fucking, yeah, PMS from the dude. He's not a serial killer. He's nice to my dogs. Okay, great. Now, terrible. Any home. You hear that sound? It's the sound of a sale. You're missing out on because you're not selling on Shopify. And what does it sound like with Shopify? Aha.

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up to 35% off site-wide when you use the code Dodi, D-O-U-T-E. That's right, get up to 35% off site-wide when you use code Dodi on cozy earth website. You guys trust me. Right now I'm using only my sage-ream ones and I'm waiting for my other ones to come in that I've ordered with my own code. Use earth D O U T E 35% off. Love you mean it What is the next phase babe? Trusting is in this happy full article That's just another weird way to like words something like trusting views. Do I trust you? No, I don't trust you cable. Then that's not gonna work out

Well, it's this what they say in this, it's willingly showing each other your vulnerability. Okay. And resting together in a shared safety, you love even though you might still be nervous and you've been hurt before and fear the future, you relax, trusting in the goodness of life, you feel innocent and hopeful. You are relaxed enough to fart in front of your partner. Yeah. No, that happens way before this.

I'm just kidding. Relax enough to ask you why you don't laugh at them. Do Shay, do Shay. I know, because then in the article that I liked better is the commitment stage. And then it's like after two or more years. What? You better be committed well before that.

Yeah, are you kidding me? Can you imagine dating someone casually for two years? Nope. Not at any phase in my life, not at any age. Would I be like, you know, two years in, like our second Christmas and we're like, I mean, yeah, we're just like dating, kind of, it's like really casual.

I will say, and it may be a flaw of mine, but I've been quick to commit as far as when I'm really into somebody, I'm not thinking or looking at anyone else, and I think about, okay, if I stray from this, my focus goes to someone else, I could mess up this thing that to me looks like what I really want. Yeah, it's cute. Yeah, I mean, at the same time, like I shoot myself in the foot other times when the other person isn't doing the same thing.

And I think everyone has this innate sense and desire for someone to reciprocate the way that they look or treat somebody even if it's not spoken. When it's something that hasn't even been talked about sometimes in their head, they're like, well, I'm doing this, so I'm expecting them to be doing this too. And I think that's gotten me in trouble before and really ended some things early when we're not aligned like that. Yeah, and that's where communication comes in because I'm with you on that in all phases

of my life, whether it's just like my romantic relationship with you, friendships, work relationships, that is something that I always battle with, and my mom has always told me you cannot expect other people to be just like you are, and to give as much as you give, and to act exactly the way that you act, and you have to be willing to, which is kind of, you know, even though we're talking about romantic relationships on this podcast, I think within this commitment stage, quote unquote, it says here, like, here, you'll start to accept each other's flaws, finding that they outweigh the difficulties, which is kind of what you were just saying. You'll get more comfortable with each other in addition to the idea of staying together long-term.

And this is where it says, like, sometimes couples fear that when they reach this deeper commitment level that the sexual intimacy might fade away, because now you're getting deep, you know, now you're talking about the baggage and the dirty laundry and the things of your past that make you who you are. Where for me, I feel like it just brings me closer to someone, so I don't know, teach their own. I think I get it, but I don't know. I think this is the stage where the small things that would maybe turn into a bigger fight before now get brushed off. Like you're not afraid to just say what you think and say what you feel

and you guys get it out and you move on. You're quicker to do that instead of having this anxiety or anticipation of worrying about how what you say or how you feel is going to be taken by your partner. And so if you go the other direction like what we said in the previous stage where these little things or something you thought was cute or something that kind of bothered you has built up to this big thing, it can be a relationship ending. Totally, because this is also the phase

where you gotta put wood on the fire. You know what I mean? You gotta keep the fire burning. I think that's what they're saying is like the sexual desire maybe could start to lack because now this is a real relationship. It's not just about the passion, the excitement, the fun. As you and I have learned talking to multiple sex therapists, relationship therapists, counselors on this podcast,

is learning that relationships are not effortless, they are effortful. And you could be in love and attracted to somebody, but sometimes that shit can fizzle out and you have to work at it because life gets in the way. So I think this is the point where it's like, are you gonna let life get in the way and get too comfortable too fast

or are you gonna continue to try? Right. You know? To keep putting forth that effort and keep making, I mean, just communication. I feel like it always comes back to communication and being able to be comfortable saying how you feel and expressing yourself to your partner without having to think twice. And, you know, that is going to lead to missteps. It's going to lead to things that maybe rub the other person the wrong way

and they should be able to tell you right away or tell you quickly instead of just giving this silent treatment. Not talking to you about it, just burying it until it happens again and then an explosion happens and that's unhealthy and that's why I think what I said earlier, just having those things, the communication line out there, you're at this commitment level where you're like, okay, a little fight, no one's worried about the relationship ending anymore. It's like, we get over fights, is what we do. We're going to fight. It's going to happen sometimes.

Because yeah, you're saying you're not putting, nobody is putting the relationship on the line. Exactly. You're past that because you're past the stage into this next level of trust and commitment. Well, also, I have a question for you, though. your past that because you're past the stage into this next level of trust and commitment. Well, also I have a question for you though. Have you been at that phase in a relationship in a serious like adult relationship

where your mind has been clear enough to stay objective about where the relationship is going? Like, AKA that you're not gonna just stay in it because like, oh, it's just comfortable. It's what we do. Oh, I feel bad. I don't want to break up with this person because I just feel it makes me feel guilty,

so I'll just stick with it, even though you're not into it. Because I have, for sure. You know, I don't, I can't think of a time where I've done that. I've pretty much always been the one to break up with the other person, and that's the flaw of mine. I've been, been the one that choose to run, to be like,

nope, not working for me. It's been fun. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. LetTF, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. That's fair. Yeah, it's kind of, it's fair to say, not say, it's fairly fair to do. Correct, I'm saying it's fair, yes, I don't mean, no, I think it's an asshole move, but like the fact that you are very self-admittedly, you were that way or have been that way

in a relationship I think is really interesting and that it does differ from what I was just explaining. Right, I do know people that have stayed in relationships that they really weren't happy in for a long time because they're like, I follow my ex-boyfriends pretty much. They're like, I'm not so invested. I can't afford to start over or like,

why would I start over when we're doing all this and then I'm hurting her and like, I can deal with this so I don't mess up her whole life and like change her whole trajectory. Which really you guys really fuck up her life, okay? So when you drag it out for another year and then you realize, oh this isn't getting better and you could have just ended it before. Yeah and so let's say you get all through that, right? I really don't love the name of this and the article that I'm reading.

It's called the acceptance stage, which is just to me, that term just like really rubs me the wrong way. Like, I don't just accept it. You know, like the fucking sacripetados, like you just accept it. No, but what they're trying to say is that you've now gotten through these obstacles

and you now feel like safety, you feel secure. And this is like the optimal stage, right? Where it's like this closeness that's irreplaceable, this is your teammate, your best friend, like your family. I just don't know why it's called the acceptance phase. It sounds like a phase of grief or something. It does. It definitely is.

It's a phase of grief, absolutely. I know, but it just, I don't know. It just rubs me the wrong way. So what, basically, you fully accept all the flaws of your partner and. You're grateful for the relationship. You appreciate your partner as like a reliable source of support, but you still focus on all of your own things that your partner now becomes this first person that you go to for emotional support or if you're in emotional

distress, you know that this is your human that you can go to no matter what, which I think is like the most beautiful thing about being in a relationship, is just being like this is my person and they're never going to like ditch me. Yeah. This is, unfortunately, you can have all the greatest best friends in the world, but it's just not the same thing. Right, and you're even getting past the stage, just not always right. And everyone, you know, goes through different things in their lives and something else I think about younger

me and younger relationships is that these phases, as far as when relationships ended, didn't necessarily have a role in the longer relationships I had. Like, so my high school girlfriend in the college, I can say, I felt like we were absolutely had worked through all the stages. We were there. It was circumstances in life that created this disconnect that led to splitting and then in hindsight, it's like certain stubbornness, certain things, certain differing desires that just change.

As you know, you grow up, we started dating at like 17. That's right. I wanted to say, don't you think age probably had a lot to do with that? No, granted, I know especially like people, like our parents age, started as high school sweethearts and they just stayed and stuck through it

and they're happily married now and all of that, right? But do you think that specific relationship that age was a factor? Cause I do. 100%. And that's what I'm saying, is that when you a factor, because I do. 100%. That's what I'm saying. When you're growing up and when your brain is developing and you are going through all these new experiences in life,

even if you have that person that you 100% trust that you can call and talk to about anything and everything, sometimes something causes either someone to stray or that long-term picture to to fade or change and then you no longer have these long-term goals that align. Because you're still getting to know yourself. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. regard. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

regard. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. regard. Exactly. Exactly. regard. intermingling, which I think is what we call the acceptance shitty name phase and the other one, but the intermingling is like where you're really like bringing your lives together. You still have your own person, your, your own goals, your own dreams, your own focuses, but your lives are intertwined now. So you do share friends and you do share, you know, you get, you get to caring more about the other person and what they care about. Like you, golf, like I fucking hated golf, but now a golf is on TV and I'm like, you know what?

It's not so bad. For now. Because you love it. Yeah, but that's an hour more than I would have done, you know, a year and a half ago. Right. And, you know, the Kardashians is on when you're, when you have controlled the remote and I'm like, you know what? No, I still don't like it, but I can tolerate it. Yeah. So I think that's, yeah, I guess the final phase is like giving your heart to the process, each partner transforming the other, the lovers will be nourished to the end of their days.

So fucking poetic. I have a couple things that I was thinking about last night and I have a question for you because I don't know why my brain was just like on this tangent. What are some random things that you think couples should just know about each other? Like, favorite color. How do you like your eggs? How do you like your coffee, you know? Yeah, I mean all those are good. I actually have a note in my phone that's Kristen's favorites is what it says.

You do? Well, I sure do. Because hear me out. These are a little more like note in my phone that's Kristen's favorites is what it says. You do. Well, I sure do. Because hear me out, these are a little more like intimate in my opinion, but like your subway order, like your sandwich order. My dishes. I know, but I stress about it every single time I have to order you a sandwich from anywhere, even to Delhi.

I'm like, he eats meat, he eats all this stuff. It is so stressful. And it makes my pit sweat because I'm like, what if he doesn't want chicken today? What if he doesn't want, Mexicali chicken, or what if he doesn't feel like having a club sandwich today? Does he want spicy or not? I'm definitely not putting dressing on it.

How long is it gonna be till he eats it? Like I stress so much, your coffee order? Easy peasy. Eggs not a problem. I could order you breakfast from anywhere. Sandwich order, coffee order, easy peasy. Eggs, not a problem. I could order you breakfast from anywhere. Sandwich order, pizza order, a little tougher for me. I think you should always know your partner's shoe size. I don't know why I find that extremely important

and sick food, like if your person is ill, not feeling well or hung over or has a cold or the flu, what makes them feel better? You should just know because when I'm sick, don't has a cold or the flu. What makes them feel better? You should just know, because when I'm sick, don't fucking ask me what I want. You better know what I want. Go pick that up, go pick up my Jewish penicillin,

my vegetarian, motsoball soup, and just bring it to my door. Grocery staples. And then for me too, I was thinking about like funny, weird quirks. I think it's really important to know, like me with my even numbers. Don't set the volume to an odd number. No, nothing. On the...

The temperature. Yeah. In the room, you guys, I don't know what it is. I have this weird thing about odd numbers. I don't like them. They make me feel physically uncomfortable. So Luke knows if he's turning the TV up. Don't turn it to 25.

Turn it to 26. I don't feel like you have any weird ass quirks like that. I don't really like stepping on cracks either. I think because I'm afraid I'll trip and fall. My weird quirks come with things like my golf clubs, my fishing poles, my stuff like that. I like them to be a certain way, typically, and that's something you'll look kind of never touch.

Never, because it's so boring. Right. And I'm so happy for you. It's boring to you, but I'm saying it. It's boring to me, but I'm so happy for you. It's boring to you, but I'm saying it. It's boring to me, but I'm so happy for you. I want to know what that list says. Oh, you want to know what's on my list of Kristen's favorites? Yeah, what's that?

I actually haven't updated it in a while, but I started it in last year, and I'm like, okay, I need to remember this stuff. I just have no idea where this evening we got, is this for all my friends to know? So when it's like my birthday, they're like, oh, okay, cool. She loves the color Indigo. That's my favorite color color guys. Luke says orange, which is just so weird.

I've got your favorite color flowers wine, you love butterflies. I guess that I haven't updated this in a while. I put don't bring up bad dreams involving her. Yeah, I put that in there. Yeah, we had this conversation the other day because I had an ex-boyfriend who would actually take it out on me if he had a dream that I cheated on him. He would like get mad at me in the morning and then like hold a grudge the whole day alone just being like, we cheated on me in my dream.

I'm like, what the fuck? Like, I didn't cheat on you. I'm sorry you had a shitty dream, like go sage yourself, bro. Yeah, I think that's probably where it came from because I told you at one point, I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I was just informing you. I'm not mad at you.

I'm just telling you. Yeah, because you had a weird dream, like. I had a weird bad dream. And you're like, well, it's not my fault. Don't blame me for it. I'm like, okay, okay, okay. Sorry. I won't share that with you ever again.

I'm here. You had a weird dream last night. I did. I'm gonna have to look that up. I like woke up howling. Yeah, literally. Yeah, it was like this weird yell howl scream that actually woke me the fuck up out of my slumber. All right, let's just go there.

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It's ORG, AN, IFI.com slash dodie, take some time. Browse to their collection. Trust me, your body, your mind, your taste buds, your whole spirit will thank you for taking this first healthy step. I've got a question for you. Okay. Shoot. Now it might seem weird for to some people for girls to get guys flowers, but if you were to get me flowers, what kind of flowers would you get?

Um, it is a little difficult, but every time we go to a store and they have flowers, like if we're going to buy someone flowers, you are immediately drawn to like the, the wildest, most colorful bunch where I'm like, oh, I like the one with like the softer palette with like a little touch of lavender or whatever. And you always just go for like colorful. So I think I would just do orange. Well, you see my wardrobe, you know, like orange flowers, like orange and like salmon. Okay. Of what kind? I don't know. Do you have a favorite flower? I wouldn't say I have a favorite. There's some that I kind of prefer.

I don't know. I'll give you a stock of broccoli with like a rose in it. That's you giving me what you want. That's true. We both know I'm pretty good at that. I know you like, you said dollias if I can never find them. Oh, dollias are the tits. Yeah, and the lilies. And lilies. Do you remember? I'm sure you do, on the Y I say, do you remember all the time, but those flowers I sent you after we went to Mexico?

Oh my God, it was the most ridiculously massive, huge, so big. Okay, flowers were burnt out in my entire life. Of course, yes, yeah. And they were dolly's. Mm-hmm. I don't remember where it was. I think it was some flower shop in Venice

that our friend Greg, who was on the last podcast. He used to work there when he worked out here in LA and did deliveries to celebrities and everything. And he said to mention their name and they hook it up. But they, yeah, hand delivered that for all the way from Venice. That's so sweet. Like my best friend, Janine, won't even

hand deliver anything from Venice. She won't even come to my apartment unless she wants a fucking burrito. That's how you know. You hear that, Janine? That's how you know your dude, your teammate will do more for you than your friends. Just kidding, you guys. Nobody goes to that side of LA. Well, you are about to start moving. We are about to start moving to the new apartment down the hallway as we join. Down the hallway, you guys. So,

oh my gosh. Today will be the first day of like packing and getting rid of stuff. And yeah, essentially I'm just moving into a bigger unit because I'm like, I'm just not in love with the one I'm in. I need some, I need some natural light. I've been feeling a little stuck and a lot of fun things coming up in life and a lot of really cool projects.

And James May is coming back with a vengeance. You guys are gonna be really stoked. The podcast, we are getting ready to get into our new studio. So things are just really looking up and I'm like, you know what, it's time for a change. So let's see if we don't kill each other during this phase of our relationship. During the move? Yeah.

I think it'll be all right. I think that is be all right. I think that is something that will bring your friends from Venice here to help. They're going to come help pack and move some things. It is kind of just annoying though. It's actually the neighbor building in the same complex. So to move furniture, we're still kind of

out of the door. We're not home to work. We can't even move hers. Take it around the block to the other side to come in and back up the elevator. They're going to be like, it's a three hour minimum. I'm like, well, take your time then, because you're literally driving around the block to the other side to come in and back up the elevator. They're going to be like, it's a three hour minimum. I'm like, well, take your time then because you're literally driving around the block. But I am excited because even though you don't live here and you live in Colorado, you

are here really often. And I like that it's kind of a fresh start. Yeah. And just so much more closet space. I'll have more than like a cupboard or a door to space for my clothes, which I'm excited about. I might even bring a fishing pole out here. Oh, that's nice. You can put it in your closet. I know. You're so excited.

I'll give you a whole closet, like a half, I'll give you a whole closet. Okay. How are you? You can have a closet and some drawers. Yeah. Perfect. But I'm excited, you guys too, that when we get into the studio,

we're going to be actually doing some video recordings. So you can see my smile and face and feels like a good year is ahead of us. It's exciting, lots happening. Some stuff we can't talk about, but there is a lot happening. I wouldn't you like to know in the next few months, but yeah, so that's just where we're at

and we were, you know, we just kind of wanted to shoot the shit today because we've been talking about in reading these articles and kind of discussing them on our own. And it's like, well, why don't we just talk about it with everybody else in the broadcast, you know, all of our fun listeners. We love you guys. And we read all of your emails.

I try to write back to every single one. We have the VPR from the start finale episode that will be airing tomorrow. And that's going to be really fun and a doozy. And we will have Mr. Jack Taylor on board. Hopefully he does not cancel on us. But he seems like he was really into it. So yeah, this just feels like a good year.

It feels like everything is blooming for us. So do you want to end this with another, with our classic ending? Okay, I don't even know my name, so I'm just gonna, yep, okay, ready? I would do anything for love, but I won't do what, Luke. You gotta go first. Why do I have to go first? Okay, I have to go first. I would do anything for love, but I won't voluntarily get stung by a bulletin.

Ooh, okay, so we're going naked in a fried style for you. It's supposed to be the most painful staying. You're like paralyzed for 15 minutes from the pain. Yeah, that sounds super shitty. I would do anything for love, but I would not wait in the middle middle of an ocean, like open water, just like swim by myself. You wouldn't swim naked across open water with sharks? No. Okay. That's fair.

I don't know why you said naked. Oh, because naked and afraid. No, I just like, I wouldn't do it anyway. I wouldn't do it with a shark proof, bullet proof, anything, just by myself. It reminds me of that movie, A Perfect Storm, and that is my absolute worst nightmare of all time. My boat capsizes, I'm alone, middle of the ocean, I'm fucked. I either get eaten or I drown. Absolute, biggest fear on the face of the point. And you can even, if you have a flotation, you can die of dehydration, which would be even worse.

You're in the water and you can't drink any of it. I would die from being scared. So another fear that you have that I wouldn't do for love, you know you are always worried about something swimming up your peal? Yes. Yeah, so there's this little thing. Just like even near my vagina, I don't want, there's nothing. See, I don't want seaweed touching my vagina.

That's... My vagina is magic. I don't want anything touching my junk in the water, but my swimsuit. But there's this little tiny catfish that can swim up your peahole and lodge itself there with its spines in the Amazon. What the fuck? And they're attracted to urine. So if you get going the water to pee,

they come to it and we'll swim up there and get stuck. That's like my worst fear, I would not. Okay, I would do anything for love, but I will not swim in the Amazon River. That's okay. Okay, there we go. Here we go. We love each other so much, but we have a really long list of shit we would never, ever

do. That's how strong our love is. Okay, well we love you guys. Please write us, tell us how you felt about this episode if you agree with these stages. If you disagree, just all of your opinions. Write us five stars because we love you. And we will, yeah, we'll talk to you tomorrow in BPR and next week on sex love Bye

Make sure to follow us on social media You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Dodie and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke double underscore Broadred be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes every single Wednesday. Thanks for listening. See you next week.