Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - What’s Wrong With Guys’ Night & We Answer Your Q’s

Episode Date: February 2, 2023

Episode 12. This week, Luke and Kristen discuss why it’s important to indulge in boys’ nights & girls’ nights, but admit how it’s caused issues in the past. They answer listener submitted questions about their relationship - Are their differences too much? Are they trying to get pregnant? How do they handle long distance? Then, Kristen spills the tea about her Vegas trip for Brittany’s birthday and Luke talks about his LA living! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, biaches? We're back. I feel like I've gotten off right now and I haven't even smoked any weed. But hi Luke. Hi, Chris. Welcome back to Sex Love and What else matters? Hey, I've been here all week. Do I have to say that every single time we start the podcast? That's good question. I'm not really seasoned in this industry. So that's I'm not the right person. You guys know you're at the right place. Here we is.

It's just me and Luke today. Luke and I have spent the week together. He's been in California and I have been sick as a flipping dog. Where did that number one, where did that even come from? Like, where did that say, why is it sick as a dog? My dogs are never sick. Hmm, well, dogs throw up a lot. That's true, but I'm not throwing up.

I just, I caught like, basically, I feel like I caught like a Vegas germ virus, not COVID, tested, totally negative, haven't left my house all week, everyone relaxed, could have been the flu, maybe it was a shitty cold, honestly, every time I was in with all the girls, as I said in the last podcast for Britney's birthday, we were all in Vegas, and every time I would touch

the escalator handrails, I would get yelled at by all the girls, they're like, don't touch that. Oh my God, that's disgusting. Disgusting. Which it is. Yeah, I mean, most of Vegas is pretty gross. But like slot machines, chips, they're not sanitizing that shit. So I asked for it. I'm feeling on the up and up now. And then the second that my cold, whatever it was was over. I started my period, so Patrice the period monster is currently with you right now. Luke, do you love Patrice? Oh Patrice is not my favorite person. How she been this month? You know it wasn't the best transition from sick Kristen to Patrice. It was a little little not great. It felt

a little bit unappreciated for a second there. It's like like Patrice. It was a little, not great. It felt a little bit unappreciated for a second there. It's like Patrice just came out of nowhere and I'm like, look, I've been cleaning the house and doing the dishes and doing these things this week where you've been sick. I'm buying me soup and taking the dogs apart. Yeah, take care of the dogs, go on to the grocery and take in all of a sudden.

And then all of a sudden, I was like, OK, I'm feeling a little bit better. I think I'm starting actually, okay, today I feel better. And then all of a sudden, Patrice comes fucking stomping in like the incredible Hulk. Patrice is here to bed, Luke. She wasn't such a cut this time around, but dude, I've had cramps for three days, so that's my week.

Luke, how's your week? How's your week? How's your weekend? Well, I was in Vegas. I got to golf. I've been in the driving range a few times. Been in the park every day with the dogs. Pickleball.

Pickleball was fun. You're floating your best fucking life. Yeah, it's been good. I still feel like, though there's this part of me that is missing out on making some progress. We do the podcast, right? But it's like, I don't have a project here when I'm in California. Yeah, you and I are both like very like project type

people. Right. We like to get our hands dirty. We need a multitask. It feels like we have no purpose. But we have a lot of ideas. And I think we're beginning to execute them well, just because we're not talking about them publicly. Right. And the weather definitely affects it too. Because I have projects in other states. And it's pretty hard to do projects when it's snowing in a high of 15 years. Hey, hitman, are you in the cartel? Like, what's up? Shh. We just watched some kind of hitman movies. I feel like I was like, what are said projects in other states, Luke? You remember this? You said you don't want to know what I'm doing. That's true. When I'm not here. Fuck.. So yeah, so back to Vegas. So I went to Vegas over the weekend.

Luke watched all the dogs in California. Honestly, I typically, number one, I fucking hate Vegas, except I love slot machines and roulette. I don't like dressing up, I don't like getting ready. I just, oh God, I don't know, I'm just one of those girls. However, this Vegas trip was by far hands down. My favorite Vegas trip and probably favorite girls trip I've ever taken. The only thing that was missing was Lala. And for everyone that was asking me online, why wasn't Lala there, why not, why not?

She was not feeling well, like super last minute, she was so bummed out, she was texting us all weekend and she just felt it was better for her in ocean, not to come, which duh, I agree. So she was definitely the missing piece, but otherwise we just had the best group of girls. We saw a magic mic. If y'all haven't seen Magic, Mike, and Vegas,

oh, my flipping god. I've seen Chip and Dale's. I've seen a couple of things. But Magic Mike is like absolutely next level. And one of Sheenah's friends is one of the dancers. It's like straight up like B-boys, like killing it. My friend Jacqueline hosted it.

So it was just like extra special for all of us. And we had like dinner. We did do a dumb club night one night, but it felt very safe and actually fun. I feel like I'm way too fucking old for clubs. But everything was just perfect. And then we had just girls nights in the room. We played truth or dare. Oh my God, it was so much fun. So that was Vegas. I'm glad you had a fun day. I'm really glad. Yeah. Because I was like, you know, I love Brittany, but I was fucking like, please don't make me go.

Yeah, this is one of the greatest moments when I'm super happy you had such a good time. And I have zero FOMO. Don't feel like I missed out on anything. No, no. So it's great. And we had Zach there to like take care of us and protect us. Yeah, you need a 6-4. How do you feel about like girls' nights and boys' nights?

Do you feel the same way now as you felt maybe from your first relationship or through your whole dating experiences? Because I just know a lot of guys sometimes have shit about girls having their girls' weekends. And I have friends who are like, my man doesn't get a boys' night, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's not, I don't think that's cool.

I'm glad that you aren't that way. For me, I love a poker night. And it makes me think of how to lose a guy in 10 days when she like it bays Poker Night, right? That's so great. That would be, I did more. Or more firm. Anyway. Sorry.

You can't bring up a movie that was written, the book was written by my co-author. Oh, I believe you. Without me quoting it, okay, but yes. No, no, no, that's hilarious. But I'm saying like that's what I think of Boy's Night. And with Girl's Night, like your trip to Vegas, so happy that you got that. Super, I love that for you, I love that for you

and all the girls. I've never really had the FOMO or the jealousy with it, with my past girlfriends, but this specifically, I get extra comfort knowing that like, it's all bunch of married girls that literally just want to be around their friends, because life is happening all the time. You guys need that.

You need to be around each other, be able to let lose. Hey, yeah, and just be like girls. Like, the shit you guys don't, like when you guys, I want to like go hang out in a man cave or a garage and talk about like your sweaty ball sacks and your cars or something And we want to gossip or talk about our relationships or our feelings or just

Get dust heat up together right and on top of that none of the husbands or boyfriends of any of these other girls I went with you had to sit there ready to go out and wait now are for you guys to do your makeup and get ready So that's another bonus What actually takes me the longest to do in my getting ready process? Probably close. One million percent. Yeah, it's not the showers, not makeup, it's not.

Not glitful glam, but I can be like ready to go makeup wise in six minutes. I definitely take longer showers than you. Yeah. My showers are fast. I can shape my entire body and take a full shower in less than 10. I don't like enjoy, unless I'm sick,

and I need the steam. I don't like enjoy showers. I hate baths. I don't want to sit in like a bath of my own skin cells. Like, I don't know, fucking weird to me out anyway. Different topic. But yeah, I don't, I definitely had boyfriends. It's, I think it's just about the company you keep, right? It's the partner that you have. If you're freaking out about a girls

night or a boys night or a whatever night, it's because you don't trust your partner. Agreed. And I was the only, I guess technically, quote, unquote single girl there, like me and Zach. Otherwise, everyone else is married. I'm pretty sure. So I mean, I could drop a situation that I wouldn't become familiar with a quote unquote girl's night. Like what?

Like you and a bunch of girls that I've actually never spent time around that are all single and younger and want to go out and somewhere in LA and it's like, okay, these are a bunch of early 30s, late 20s girls that are single looking for guys and you're gonna go out with them and you're not planning on having that happen. Exactly, I could draw.

No, no, no, really. The last time that that actually happened, you and I had just been talking on the phone a bunch. We weren't even like dating, dating yet. And I went out with Katie, Maloney, with friend Dana, Mara, and Raleigh. And I went, I was like, wait, Katie, look, it's like in my complex. Like, wait, what are you guys doing today?

Wait, you're having a girls night? I'm gonna come, can I come with you? I went down to the pool with them. We got ready. They're like, we're going here. We're going there. And so we ended up this bar. And the bar was called, I think it's called the friend, I believe, or friends.

And to me, it sounded like a fun, little neighborhood dive bar type shit. You know, do you remember what I'm talking about? Yeah, I remember very vividly, like the phone call. I think you and I had only been talking for like a month or so, two months maybe. Maybe, I'd say it was less than a month after the Denver. Yeah, after Red Rocks.

And so I'm so excited to go out with all my friends who my one friend is married, the rest are single. And I'm like, yeah, that's a fucking girl. This is a proper ass girls night. Like, start at 7 p.m. Grab some dinner, let's bar up, not in our neighborhood. And what happened?

This so-called what I assumed to be a dive bar ended up being like a bunch of young in 20 something year olds, like dancing to the worst fucking wannabe rap club music I've ever heard of my entire life. And I had an absolute panic attack, didn't even finish my first drink, walked out to the curb.

I basically like told one of my friends, like I'm doing an Irish goodbye, so you don't freak out and look for me. And I called my Uber and then I called Luke, and I was like, I have to get the fuck out of here. I'm going home. I remember you were freaking out for sure. So you explained it to me, you sent me a picture

and like that looks miserable. Chris and I are definitely on the same page. So I'm like, whatever gets y'all off. Like I just, you know, if you like clubbing, awesome. If you're a warehouse girl, do it. If you're a, I need to see male strippers in Vegas hells yet. I just am not that girl anymore. Yeah, and that's where we're on the same page as far as I do feel bad sometimes.

I can't say how many times I've had some friends, the couple of friends I've made in LA asked me to go out and we ho on the weekend. And oh, it's so hard to get myself mentally prepared or be able to actually do that. Well, we were literally supposed to do that. Yeah, I know. This weekend. Yeah, when I last Friday, when she was in Vegas, I did go, but it was I drove, so I didn't drink hardly at all.

I'd like one drink in a jello shot with Kyle Chan, who's become my best. In a jello shot. LA friend. Yeah. I had a jello shot in Vegas. Did you? Yeah, I had fun. That's

wonderful. Did you, it was like this arranged type or like the cover? No, it was like covered. It was like a foil like okay. Yeah. Yeah. It was a magic white. She and it was like jello shots for everyone. And we were like, okay, that's a fun way to get the night started. And we were like, yeah, that's not so good. Yeah. Well, this was. And I thought we both did a jealous shot. That's hilarious, yeah. But anyway, it's just so great that neither of us, that's one thing that we bond with, is that we don't like the big club scene. We don't want to be bumping shoulders and backs and chess with everybody that's on the dance floor.

Like that's not something that either of you, you or I, or what. And let's say we're all of our friends. Like if we had, you know what I mean? Like if we had some big house party and we were all shoulder to shoulder, like that's fun, sweaty and weird and great. But. Sweaty and weird and great.

Yeah, so have you ever been though, like a jealous type? No. I have. I've had my moments of, like there's a boys' chat that still goes on with like, I don't even know how many people on, that I'm pretty sure I have at least moments of like there's a boys chat that still goes on with like I don't even know how many people on that I'm pretty sure I have at least one or two X's on there and a lot of my guy friends and I got to read some of this. I'm not going to tell you guys who

is in this boys chat. There's so many people you would know and not know. But I have seen photos that have been sent in this boys chat where where I'm like, this is who you guys are, like just like full vagina photos. I'm like, seriously, why are you guys sending photos of like porn vaginas? Like, hey, did you see that? I'm 14. Like, you can get the put, you have pussy at home, you weirdo. And I hate the pee word. But it fucking annoys me.

You don't worry me. However, I did have a little bit of a meltdown one time when you had a quote unquote, boyz night. It wasn't necessarily a boyz night. It was recruiting for a beer pong tournament. Do you want to talk about that right now? Yeah, that's a fucking trigger. I don't like the word recruit.

The word recruiting is now a trigger for Kristen. Yes, it is. Which is interesting, because I literally didn't do anything. You just misinterpreted it. A lukewarm to Colorado. They were having, what do you call it? A Wheeler. A rich Wheeler beer pong tournament. But you called that the Halloween party. Halloween. Yeah.

Yeah. So it was like this big like annual beer pong party tournament thing they've been doing for a million years, right? Like 10 years or something. Over 10 years, yeah. Yeah. Luke says, yeah, I definitely have to go back to Colorado for this. You should come. This would be so great.

And as much as I truly did, I think I thought it would be really fun. It just, I can't just leave town all the time with my dogs and all of that. So he's back in Colorado. And as we've told you guys, they have so much property out there. And he and a couple of his guy friends went out to quote and quote recruit people to come to said beer punk tournament.

Well, when Mama hears recruit, what I hear is you're trying to find girls. Okay, let's back up to say. And through a tiny temper tantrum. Just two seconds. Tell me and tell everyone else how much it was the fact that I told a mutual friend's wife. Just call Rachel out. Okay, okay, okay.

I'm calling you out, bitch. Rachel, it was a foot Rachel in the middle of this because Greg and I and Tom had been out, right? And a girl that was just in this group of people I've been talking to about this beer pong tournament came up and gave me her number before she left. And I thought it was funny. And I said it in front of Rachel.

So then Rachel spun that to Kristen and Kristen's now thinks, oh, Luke's going out looking for phone numbers, talking to girls. He's only trying to get girls here because I'm not gonna be there. That's what happened. She didn't, well, she didn't tell me that part. She just said, they're going like recruiting

because they have enough like guy friends, but they don't really have like girls to be here for like the single guys and they just need more people. So they're gonna be recruiting girls. And I was like, fuck that shit. Well, I gotta tell you that. So I was very, very passive aggressive that night, which is not my style.

I'm typically pretty assertive. Indirect. And direct. Do you think I'm aggressive? I don't think I am. No. I think I'm just assertive indirect. But that night, I was so passive aggressive with you.

I was like, oh yeah, what are you doing? Like all through text. This is what my voice sounds like when I'm texting him. Oh yeah, what are you doing? Oh, you're just out doing karaoke? That's cool. How's that going? Are you recruiting Luke?

And then Luke goes to a truck. He's like trying to call me a bunch of times. I'm declining his calls. I'm like, I'm busy right now. I'm watching a movie. I don't have time for this. I think it's fine. It's fine.

I was so fucking annoyed. Not because I thought you were going to like hook up with someone or anything, but I'm like, no, these two dudes, one is married, one is like essentially about to be married. Like they don't get to use you as a pawn just to get hot chicks. No, no, no. The only person that gets to use you as a pawn is me. So fuck off. Wait, you're saying I can never be a wingman for any of my friends that are single?

Is that what you're saying? You can be a wingman, but it's not like to flirt with girls. Like, I'm a great wing woman, but I don't flirt with a guy and then pawn that guy off on my friend. I'm there to support. I'm there to like peep dudes for her.

But I'm not going to like walk up to a guy as if I'm interested in him and then say go ahead and my girlfriend's single. Fuck no. Are you kidding me? I wear a clada. If you guys don't know what a clada is, it's an Irish ring that my sister bought me. It only fits my left ring finger. So I wear that. I wear a ring on my damn left ring finger. And if any dude ever were to hit on me, I would be like, if you're cool, we can all be friends otherwise, step back.

I got a man. Uh-huh. And that happened at Christmas, and this was before Halloween, and Christian and I became official around, or started December. So just put a timeline on this old deal. Okay, fine.

I'm just gonna put a timeline on this old deal. I don't care. Patrice the period monster says, no, but you say I'm right. But I since then have never cared when you've gone out for a voice night. I, in fact, as you were saying earlier, like I not only approve of it,

not that you need my approval, but I push for it. I think it is great. I think guys need bonding time. I think girls need bonding time. I think friends in general knee bonding time without their significant others. Just in that moment, I was like, bitch, you're not there to recruit. Like fuck that. Rachel had such a pivotal part in creating that friction between

you and me. So if you're listening to this Rachel, I know that you did because I at no point said we were trying to find girls for this thing. I said we didn't know if we had enough people for this tournament, so we were just trying to get people. But I did say at the one point that this random girl and this group people I was talking to came up and gave me her number that did happen. I think that just misconstrued everything. Anyway, moving on.

So we're cool with girls, right? We're cool. I think it is necessary. That is my opinion. I think if there's trust in the relationship Which if there's not then you shouldn't be in the relationship But I think it's super healthy and normal as long as you come home at night or if it's like oh, I'm fucking wasted I'm staying at Brittany's house or whatever right as long as you're in communication It is so healthy and it is so necessary to have friend time. You know what I mean? Totally. That's the other thing is I need to, I'm working on making more friends when I'm in Los Angeles. I've got friends in a lot of

places in the country, but as far as LA goes, I don't have a lot that I guess have time to hang out or do things that I like to do. No, I loved that you had that wild day where you were like golfing 19 holes and then go, what? It's only 18. Sorry, 18. I love golf. 18 holes and then playing pickleball. I was like, sweet, I'll be sick and walk the dogs,

rock and roll. Speaking of sports, I want to move on from this. I'm just really sad about football, which is not sex love, but it is what all matters. It's coming to an end. We got one. I'm really sad about football, and it is something

that Luke and I bond over that I love. We played fantasy. We bond over playing different games together. I love that, and I think that is something that I've realized with you, strangely enough, in all my relationships. It's like having certain things to bond over even with differences is like so cool and important.

Yeah, absolutely, especially because of all the differences we have. People love to tell us about our differences. Oh, yeah. They're on liners. We love you. Keep following us. But we have gotten, asked me anything,

or a section coming up here. And before I get to that, there have been plenty of emails and messages about. So many emails, you guys. About just the dynamic because I grew up hunting and fishing. I'm an outdoorsman in conservationist. Kristen is a vegetarian, has lived in LA for 15 years, something like that.

And I'm like small town. We're just very opposite in that way. We've got a lot in common. And as far as morals and principles and things go. And we have so much fun. And we don't judge each other. We very much accept each other in so many ways. It's so great. But there are some fundamental things that are kind of like, how does this even work? So I want to kind of address how that works. I mean, how we make that work. Yeah. I think in the, at least as far as the vegetarian verse hunter thing,

people make it so black and white. And I typically, I'm not a black and white person. I think I believe in like the gray area. Like you find a way to melden, mesh your lives together. Luke knows like, no, I don't want to see like a dead animal hanging in our garage one day. I don't want to know certain things, but I also know we've had extensive conversations about these hobbies that mean a lot to him and the fact that he is a conservationist, which we've sort of dabbled on in this podcast before, in past episodes. Sometimes I just need to like turn my head the other way. And it's like if that's the thing that's gonna break us,

like I'm sorry, he's super hot, he's really good in bed, he's a really awesome person. He treats me like a fucking queen, but he likes to hunt and fish. So he's off the table, you know, sorry guys, that's my answer. He doesn't like shove like me eating down my throat. He's not like, you should try, you do it.

Oh, raw, raw. It's just like a respect on both sides. And honestly, I think I'm more inquisitive in which we've discussed on this podcast. I ask questions that you know I don't really want to know the answer to. Yeah, and that's how I answer it. I say, you don't want to hear the answer to that question.

So I guess what I'm saying guys is, I'm a little tired of the scrutiny that we're getting. I love the inquisition of it, like you guys inquiring and wondering, how do we make this work when it is such a huge dynamic, but the scrutiny I'm not cool with because, you know, we love each other. And I respect, I'm not trying to change my partner. And I think that's like a huge thing that people try to do. I know it's something I used to do when I was younger. Yeah, and I think the biggest thing,

the thing that so Kristen was 100% anti-any animals dying for any reason whatsoever. And when we have talked, she has understood that the conservationist in me, I'm the guy when I go out hunting, if I see trash in the woods, I pick it up. I don't just go killing things for no reason. I always have all my licenses and so much of license money goes to conservation that people don't understand.

If you're not donating to actual conservation agencies or foundations, then you're not contributing as much as Hunter's and Fisherman are to preserving the landscape preserving these wild areas And so like the respect for that should be there as well as the fact that I eat everything that I shoot and We both are on the same page about animals being tortured like I Absolutely hate it. I've literally this might sound soft to any guys listening whatever But I've got an emotional if I don't make a perfect shot when I'm hunting.

It doesn't feel good if it's not. Yeah, you've gotten like shaken up telling these stories before we're very few. Yeah, no, I've had a lot of training and I've shot a lot in my life. And so I'm very good, but mistakes happen. Little thing, misjudgments happen. And I feel like fucking shit if I don't make

this clean because you know, whatever. We stand the same one like, that's, I guess I want it, what I want to just clear up and then we'll move on to something way more fun. Yeah, yeah. Is that like, I despise the thought of animals being tortured and I'm very green in the area of hunting and I'm not, you know, I don't know a whole lot about it. Lucas taught me a lot about it and I think I just respect what his stance is on it. Doesn't mean I'm gonna be a part of it, but I love him and if that's the one thing that we differ on,

like he's a good dude. So that's that. There's your answer, all of your emails, all of your DMs, all of your Ask Me Anythings, we've gotten like a billion. That's our answer. You know? Thanks, baby. Last thing I want to leave you with the one last comment, just don't demonize hunters. Most of us are conservationists. Sure, there's bad eggs out there, but guess what?

There's also vegan people that think they're doing all the good in the world and shoving stuff down people's throat and spreading nothing but hate because people don't think the way they think. So there's bad eggs in every group. That's all I'm going to say. Yeah, you all just spread love, not don't spread hate, you know what I mean? Yeah. Let's move the fuck on. You guys, my 40th birthday is coming up there. I set it out loud. I thought it was your 36. Oh shut up. You were born on a leap. I hate you. You know, my 40th birthday is coming up. And this isn't because it's my 40th,

but like I literally cannot stand having parties that are about me. I hate it. I don't want the attention. I want to help with all the, every other party. I'm a great party planner. I'm an amazing host. I just don't care.

And this has been proven over the last like 10 years of my life that I'm an amazing host, I just don't care. And this has been proven over the last like 10 years of my life that I'm bowling for like four years and then had like people in my backyard. So this year, I feel I've been bullied into having a party mostly by my older sister because she loves them. And yeah, I'm just freaking out a little bit about that, but you've been like so awesome and like kind and a good partner about keeping me on track because I'm so fucking ADD. And grouchy sometimes when I try to bring it up and I'm like, hey, so grouchy is a kind word. We're down to like three and a half weeks till your birthday. We might want to

like figure out what you want to do. And I've said too, so many times, like literally, I don't care, I'm here to support. If you want to sit at home and watch movies all day and get stoned, do mushrooms, whatever you want to do, I am in for it. If you want to throw a party, if you want to go out, whatever it is, you want to, let's do it. I'm going to take you to a break room, regardless, because I think you're going to feel so fucking good after doing it. Well, you tell everyone what a break room is in case they don't know and I've never been to on some very excited

Yeah, so a break room you get to just go destroy stuff like throw plates into the ground smash TVs You know just destroy stuff and get that anger out and it's just all stuff that was junk anyway You know it's going to the dump regardless So you get it and you pay whatever to go in the room for X amount of time and you just break everything. I do remember an episode of Vanderpump Rules where I was for some reason. Me of all people you guys was not invited to this break room. I can't remember who went, but I was so fucking jealous when I heard about it.

And when I watched it back, I was livid. I'm the one person in the world out of probably the whole world or just the show that needs that because I don't physically do things to like, enrage my anger, like get it out of my system. I just like, cry. So yeah, Luke was like, let's go to a fucking break room. And then I have family and friends flying in town.

So we just rented like a little Airbnb in the area. And we're just gonna have a small little shindig with puppies and toddlers, which is exactly what I want. And we still have to make up the invite, but wait, let me, let me see the one thing. Everyone's like, oh, do you want a theme? Do you want a theme?

Like, listen, I love a good theme. But I just don't have it in me right now. I have other shit on my mind. So what I decided, I'm going to write to everyone is the war like wardrobe requirements are choose your own adventure. Come fee cozy, sparkly, naked, whatever makes you feel the best. That's how you dress. So that's my theme. Yeah, and I love it. I want to feel like burning man, even though I've never been there. We're like burning man for everyone. Do what makes you feel the best version of you?

My only concern is that I'm saying. Tom Sandwell. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Tom Sandwell is going to come up and like dress way better than me. No, I think one of your oldest friends though, might legitimately show up naked. I don't think it would last, but I think it'd be a joke.

Who? You don't think there's any chance but I think it'd be a joke. Who? You don't think there's any chance Matt would just walk in naked. Oh, my friend Matt from Colorado. Yeah, yeah. I hope he does. I'm just saying, like, it's not a concern. It's just like, oh man, the fact you put that in the invitation makes me think somebody is literally gonna walk in the door.

I'm gonna ask him to wear nothing but a loin cloth. That would be my best birthday present ever. It's a sterical. It is fine. I just wanna laugh. Yeah. I don't like getting older. It's not my favorite thing.

Okay, we're gonna get to AMAs in just one second. But I did get a lot of questions via email, my direct DMs, et cetera, about my podcast with Lava and talking about my ovulation and all of that. So let's clear the air here. Luke and I are not currently trying to get pregnant. Luke, would you like to confirm?

Yeah, I mean. We are not sitting here like trying to. However, because of my age, I am just wanting to be very more aware of what the timeline looks like because in this moment, yes, I see Luke as my forever person. I really do. And I want to just know what we're in for

and make sure we both are on the same page and okay, with it all, because you never know. Like people's minds might change and depending on what that is. So... Yeah, my take on it is that, you know, there's a body clock that I'm aware of and the window could close.

We're not gonna date for five years and then think, oh, no, let's try to have a kid. That's not realistic. So I wanna be a father. I'm not, I don't have a hard timeline. Like, let's get fucking pregnant now. Right. Not what I'm at, but I wanna be it.

I feel very strongly, I want to be it. I feel very strongly. I love you, Kristen. I love you. And I think it's best that we know what the situation is and see what our window really is. I think that's smart. Yeah. So that's my ovulation situation.

Took a hormone test two and a half years ago. I've talked to my doctor this past week. He said, actually, Shina, God bless Shina, who knows everything about fucking hormone levels said, there's no way that should has changed like that much in like basically two years. And I spoke to my doctor and he said, you know what, Kristen, young doctor Shina is correct. Let's have a look at those young ovaries because I agree with her. She's absolutely right. So next month, I have a couple of appointments

and then we'll have a better idea. But just so everyone knows, I'm not pregnant just because I'm bloated or ate too much or like didn't suck in when you saw a photo of me on Instagram. And no, Luke and I are not currently like banging it out every day trying to get pregnant. I wish. You're stupid. But yes, it is something that we have to have a conversation about because

he's 31 and I'm 39. So that's what's up. You want to jump into the AMAs? Yeah, let's do it. Okay. What do you want to start with the movie with the finger scene? Oh, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Hopefully you guys follow me on Instagram. And if you don't, I posted Luke.

So Luke has not really seen many movies, which I've mentioned in the past. It's bullshit. She's got eight years on me in time to watch movies. Oh, rude. Eight months, I said on me in time to watch movies. Oh, rude. Eight months, I said on me and time to watch movies. You had your fired. A hand. Luke had never seen fear.

The Mark Wahlberg fear. Reese Witherspoon fucking fear movie. The Bella Lysmolano, like one of the best, it's just iconic is what that movie is. It has especially a few iconic scenes, specifically the roller coaster scene. And we watched fear. iconic scenes, specifically the rollercoaster scene. And we watched Fear, so Luke, how did you feel about it? I understand now why you considered iconic. I just have literally never heard of it because

it came out when I was like five years old. Jesus Christ. So did you love the movie? How do you feel? What's your, give me your like, give me your like a 60 second review. 60 second review. Or less. Very good movie. Really. You're not convinced. I appreciated the acting. I think that he nailed that role. It was incredible, especially when he yells at the door,

when they're looking through, let me the fucking. Or whatever he says. Yeah, it was great. Ultimately, yeah, it was a good movie. I'm glad I saw it. I don't know what else other than the fact that I wrote down on my notes

that we should do a parody pornogue called Fear, Pretzies, The Stick. And I'm like, I don't know. Have you ever hooked up in a theme park? No, no, it's so funny. Like a Ferris wheel or roller coaster? Only made out.

Yeah, same. Maybe we should do that, like, say, fuck the mile high club and let's go to- Top of the Ferris wheel. Or something. I'm down. Hey, fuck it, you know anything you've initiated I've never turned you down the only time I've quote unquote turned you down is when I'm asleep. Okay, two Shay, let's fair. All right, let's get to these ask me anything. So first and foremost, I got a lot of questions about and for Katie Maloney, and I will not answer

for her. However, I will have her on next week, and she will answer for herself. Ding, ding, ding, ding. And I will not be here since. Because Luke will be out of town, so there will be some more girl talk. Yes. But the AMAs we got for Luke and I, all right, let's do it. How do we handle long distance?

Phone sex short answer. Yeah, we just talked on the phone a lot. That's how this relationship started. Literally hundreds of hours on the phone over the course of these months. And yeah, I mean, there's it's like when we're doing and we've talked about this before, but it's like when we're just doing normal household tasks, just like throwing in our headphones and talking while we do them, we get shit done. But honestly, you guys, I have a chapter in my book about like sexting and like a dick pick, which I'm super not into. And I've never really had a boyfriend who's been like a phone sex person, but I did have an ex boyfriend who did travel a lot.

And we would try many years ago, and it was just like, it never got me worked up. I was like, this feels cheesy and weird. And I don't know if it's because I wasn't, maybe I wasn't comfortable with my own sexuality. I don't think that's it. There's just something about you, Luke, that it's like your voice and you're not cheesy, you're not douchey, but but I can get off in like 30 seconds of just talking to you on the phone if you like work me up.

Yep, that's how we handle long distance. And we face time sometimes and send photos and it's pretty seamless. Like when we're apart for more than like two weeks it starts getting a little tough. Which doesn't happen often. Yeah, two weeks of stuff. One week, no we do.

For me, that's 10 day point, not even two weeks. 10 days is where it starts getting like, oh man. Yeah, one week is like pretty good because then we're both like, okay, hunker down, do our shit that we need to do. Right. And friends, we want to hang out with our whatever have you. But yeah, after two weeks, it is difficult.

So I don't know. I would love to like get with or whatever have you. But yeah, after two weeks, it is difficult. So, I don't know. I would love to like get y'all's opinion. Please like DM us, DM me, email us if you have a long-distance relationship and how the hell you do it because it's hard. Like it doesn't make me ever want to go like find attention somewhere else, but I'm just like, fuck, I really miss having my person with me every day. Yeah. You know? Same as your best friend being out of town. And the other thing that... Well, different. Yeah, a little different.

My best friend doesn't give me dick. Okay. Fair enough. Okay. Another, ask me anything question. How far have you gone to investigate your significant other or your ex? I don't know if this is a distance question or... How far have you gone to investigate your significant other or your X. I don't know if this is a distance question or like. How far have you gone?

So I guess what lengths have you gone to or I guess or how far have you traveled? Could be either one. Right. Okay, do you want to answer first? I mean, have you ever? I don't know the answer that you haven't, but go ahead. I don't do that.

I had an X-girlfriend. That was on and off with for a while, drive from Colorado Springs to Wichita, Kansas to see what I was doing. How far is that? How many hours of driving? Seven hours, I think. Seven hour drive, something like that.

Did she text you ahead of time like, hey, I'm coming to see you? You know, I don't remember, because I don't think I was opening her text if she was like, you were not aware that she was going to show up to wherever you were No Did you see her when she did show up? Oh, yeah, we literally got to the door. We're going to a comedy show

Where Greg and Rachel started dating and when we got to the door she like grabbed the handle at the same time She showed up at the door to talk about that is such a mean move. I'm fucking impressed right now, actually. I mean, honestly, it was comical. So then what happened? Wait, tell me the story. Yeah, so we go in. She's, I think she was just like, hi, surprise the scene. By herself. Or does she have like a posse of flowers? She had a friend with her. Okay. by herself or does she have like a posse of flowers? She had a friend with her. Okay. But nothing really happened right there.

We got someone to sit, Greg and me on a different side of the auditorium or whatever we were in. So did you have a security guard like helping you guys or what? No, she kind of did. She had like a body guard with her, it seemed like. Oh my gosh.

So the show went on, blah, blah, blah. After the show, she went to Greg's friend, now wife Rachel, and tried to buy her a drink, and started talking shit about us, and she was like, oh, I thought they were good guys. I don't know where it's coming from. So you have not spoken to her at this point. Not beyond the door. But she drove six hours. Over six hours.

She showed up at the same time, and you didn didn't even neither of you acknowledged each other. No, so then when we like we're leaving there, we kind of slipped out the back and tried to go through the zalley so we weren't going to be followed and in crossing, I think they were stuck in a stoplight and we were crossing one way. Somebody yelled, I can't remember exactly what it was. This is wild. Please tell me. Somebody yelled at me. Somebody yelled at me like, I fucking see you. I don't remember what it was. But anyway, we go over like one bar and then the next bar.

Don't see her until I'm literally stumbling back to the hotel room, because I just ended up drinking too much. Greg's going somewhere else. I'm just going back to the hotel room alone. And then very drunk and conversation happened as I was going through the door and I just told the security guard at the hotel

that I have a room here and I'm being harassed and they should get your out. So that's my story. Yeah, that's wild. Literally even I haven't done shit like that. And I've done some crazy ass shit. As you can read my book, he's making you crazy. I'm just kidding.

You know, it's honestly somehow it's become such a fond memory that... Fond memory, he says. You crazy. I'm just kidding. You know, it's honestly somehow it's become such a fond memory that. Fond memory, he says. Well, because I never felt like threatened. I never felt like I was in danger. No. It's just a funny situational story. Correct.

I don't hate this ex. I don't know. I'm still in contact with her, but I'm not going to say anything negative about her. Why do you think she drove that far, but like didn't approach you? I guess that's where my crazy girlfriend is like, I've never driven that far, believe it or not guys. The furthest I've driven is probably like 30 minutes to an hour.

Now as far as what lengths have I gone to, that's a whole other story, but distance, mama doesn't have time for that shit. Yeah, so she did approach me, but we went to lengths to try to keep a distance between us. Was she trying to get you back? Or like, I didn't feel like it at that point,

but I think we had a very rocky relationship that I know from Kristen's book that I had a hand in making her crazy. I'm well aware that I did some things that were somewhat shady at times and it definitely drove her to some lengths. That one was a little extreme, but not gonna talk shit about her.

I think she has a good heart and... Yeah, I mean, I think mine is just, which is in my book also, but long story short, since if you guys don't read my book, it was only in 30 minutes to an hour, but I thought that my boyfriend was cheating on me. Well, actually, I didn't even think he was cheating on me. I thought he was like out of town in Georgia

at some like carpet cleaning fucking convention with his family, and I woke up, women's intuition, you gotta trust it. My gut told me something's not right. I was the receptionist of the company, so I called the company line and his uncle answered who was supposed to be out of town. And I immediately just went like, dude, I don't think I said what the fuck but essentially. And he was stammering, like could not make a single word out. I'm like, yep, that's what I thought.

And two days in a row, I drove to my boyfriend's house and found the same car in the driveway. The girl stayed. It's a long story, but I would consider those like the lengths that I went to was like to show up and like prove it. Like, I knew it. Right.

I'm driving 30 miles. And this is when I was really young too. So those are our answers. Okay, next one. Who is my favorite ex-boyfriend? My favorite ex-boyfriend is probably, I would say, Tom Sandwell first, because we're actually friends now. And I love his relationship with Ariana.

And then Carter is a close second, because we're still buddies. We're not as close as Tom and I are. But those are the only two X-Boy friends I have that I don't hate. So. Fair enough. Next. If you could be any animal, what animal would you be?

And why? Luke? You know, I go back and forth because I like the idea of being able to fly. And so a bird is like super attractive, but. What do you want to be? Adolphin. Because they bang a lot.

That's part of it. But I think about water though. It's like being able to fly. When you get like a ceiling there. But it's like you're flying the depths and everything. I think being a dolphin would be awesome. OK, I'd like to be a giraffe. Really?

Do. They have the best eyelashes. They're super tall and beautiful. They eat trees and obsessed with them. Yes. Done. That's just like the easiest thing in the entire fucking world. Okay. Next question. Who said I love you first and how? I feel like we talked about this before, but maybe not, but Luke said I love you first. It was me and I kind of danced around it. I was like we talked about this before, but maybe not, but Luke said I love you first. It was me, and I kind of danced around it.

I was like, you were sweating. I didn't know if you were gonna tell me you were like an underground serial killer or what. I don't say that much. It's not happened a lot in my life. You dropped me off at the airport and you started shaking, you were like, I go to a place and I was like, oh fuck.

Okay, you're, are you married? Dramaticizing this. Well, that's how it felt, oh fuck. Okay, you're married. You're mad assizing this. Well, that's how it felt to me. Like, actually, I'm married. I actually have two wives and four kids with each. You know, anyway, I like told her I loved her and then like backtracked a little bit. It was like, it's not like I'm like in love with you,

but like we're like best friends. I just love you. I love you, bro. You know, that's like was my backtrack on it and then later down the road, I was like, okay, I'm in love with you. Which I love and you say I'm in love with you. I got like, you know, I love you, bro. You know, that's like, was my back track on it and then later down the road, I was like, okay, I'm in love with you. Which I love and you say, I'm in love with you. I got like, so, I start blushing.

And then in my apartment one time, you said something really cute. And I said, who are you? Like, who are you? And you go, your boyfriend. And I started giggling and I was like, oh, fuck. Do I have a boyfriend? No, shit.

So that's how it happened. Next question, would we alope and not tell anyone until afterward? I'm going to say no. I say no as well. I think there's maybe potential we would alope, but it wouldn't be behind everyone's back and act like nothing happened.

Correct. We might, yeah, we've actually talked about, do we do the thing? Our friends Jason and Janet did, where they got married and essentially had a destination wedding and honeymoon on the same day. But we all knew about it. We all watched a live stream of it and we celebrated with them prior to that. But no, I wouldn't pull a quicker route on people.

Is that a word? I don't think so. I want to do this now. But I wouldn't lie to a quick aru on people, is that a word? I don't think so. Probably what it is now. Okay. But I wouldn't, yeah, I wouldn't just like lie to our friends and family, because we're way too close to our friends and family to do a show like that. Degree. Okay, next.

How do I know Josh Peck? I love that you guys are paying attention to this shit. I mean, Josh will be on my podcast sooner than later. He clearly is a very well-working man, father, husband, to one of my closest friends page. And if you guys haven't read Josh's book yet, I highly recommend it. It's called Happy People Are Annoying.

And just obviously film in TV. He's the shit. But I've known Josh since literally right when I move to L.A. And when I have a manual here more about it, next question. What surprised us the most about each other? So like, what surprised you about me, once you got to know me, and what surprised me about you? You think like once I got to know you were like out the gate because I feel- Either way, whatever you think. The biggest surprising thing to me was just having not knowing you at all previous to the wedding, right?

We'd been around each other a little bit. You had a boyfriend, wasn't it? Did you start my answer? Briefly. I mean, I had looked at it. I believe I was following you after the first time I met you and- Good for me. So it's a surprise.

No, what surprised me was just like kind of the whole, the kind of the foundation that has why I like, I don't wanna say obsessed, but why I came like fell in love with you and like kept pursuing this is because you made me feel so comfortable and my skin and like just being exactly who I am. I don't always feel that. I felt like I was very rare and like at the gate was like, holy shit. She like is totally into exactly who I am. I don't always feel that. I felt like I was very rare. And like, at the gate was like, holy shit.

She like, is totally into exactly who I am. And wants to know more. And she like wants to know these things that I'd be hesitant to bring up, but I bring it up and she celebrates it. And then I thought that was surprising. And I mean, it's cool. I love that.

So you basically just think of awesome. I think you're awesome. Yeah, and mine was that you're not just some Indiana hunter fishery person, and that you had a lot of depth to you. And you weren't hard, you weren't douchey, you weren't some frat, like looking, but I don't know, because you like golfing, you have your like polo on and all that you like just look like that guy like that

Midwest fucking country club dude I used to like be surrounded by slash also that hunter I'm a hard-ass you know type person and you're literally neither one so don't judge a book bites cover people you also told me earlier that you're literally neither one. So don't judge a book by its cover, people. You also told me earlier that you were... So you have a giant penis? No. Oh, what? Alexa told you that.

Anyway. What? What else did I say? No, the first time you saw me in Colorado after, no, the first time we like remit, you know, at the wedding, before the wedding. That when I walked up, you were like, Oh, he's taller than a broader shoulders.

And he's like way better looking than I remember. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I was like, oh, like I stood up and I was like, oh, shit. Oh, God, I feel like a girl. Like, oh, this could be interesting. And then you got a haircut right then and there. And then I was like, hot damn, what's happening?

It's tingling. It's a little tingling down there. Yeah. Butter then I was like, hot damn. What's happening? It's tingling. It's a little tingling down there. Yeah. Butterflies and blood flow, right? Butterflies and blood flow, y'all. I'm telling you that is the magic to a fucking relationship. Well guys, thank you so much for listening.

As always, and Luke, when I love you and I cannot wait to have Katie on next week. So definitely tune in, subscribe, do all the shit you're supposed to do. Please tell everyone about our podcast. And if you have any questions, DM me, DM Luke, send us an email, you know the jam. We love you so much. Happy 2023 and don't judge me because I'm about to be 40. That's all.

Happy 2020. Hey, everybody, talk to me, email me DM me. I'm going to be out for a couple weeks. I might miss a couple episodes, so shoot me some stuff I can talk about, some stuff I can address when I'm back. Yeah, we're a brosat. Come on man. Yeah, I think guys listen to the podcast. We want to hear from you dudes as well as you awesome ladies. So we love you guys and we will talk to you next week. Have a great week everybody. Bye.

Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Dodie and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke Double underscore Broadrick. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes every single Wednesday. Thanks for listening. See you next week.