Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - You’re Gonna Love THIS with Katie Maloney

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

Episode 13. Katie Maloney joins the podcast this week to sip on some tea, and a mimosa, with Kristen! The two decade+ long friends chat about what makes a good kisser, single Katie’s outlook for 2023, and how she & Tom have navigated the last year of their lives. They answer many listener questions including: where she stands with the cast, her new Café with Ariana, and what it’s like navigating growing pains in friendships. Katie fills everyone in on why she ended her podcast, “You’re Gonna Love Me” and what’s coming next for her! Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Email us: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Really? Yes. How many repeats go? A lot of, I lumped them up, but everyone was very excited. A lot of compliments as well. OK. A lot of Katie looks hot. Oh my God.

Like Katie got a group back. Katie's short hair. Katie's body. I was like, how's yeah? Okay. I'll take you. Give the girls some love. Thanks, y'all.

You just had a birthday. Yes. Happy new year around the sun. Thank you. Yeah. I don't want to be like, how are you feeling about 2023? Like how are you feeling about this year around the sun. Thank you. Yeah. I don't want to be like, how are you feeling about 2023? Like, how are you feeling about this year around the sun? I feel good. I feel like this is the year

of Katie. I mean, you said it every year, but I really feel good about this year because last year was obviously a very different year. It was a big transition year. I grew a lot. I learned a lot about myself. I healed a lot. I learned a lot about myself. I healed a lot. And I feel like I'm really on the other side of all of that. I'm not that I'm done with all of the healing and growing, obviously, you know, but it's just different now.

It feels different. I feel like I'm, you know, I've leveled up. I've leveled up, leveled up. You know, I've gotten to another level up all of it. So I feel really good. I'm just ready to have a good time, experience new things, open a business, just keep flourishing.

Live the best life. Yeah, like when did Katie get her groove back, do you think? It's been about almost a year since you've been single. Separated sort of single. How long do you think it took for you to like get into a groove that you're currently living in? I don't know. I mean I would say I don't know I can't pinpoint the time but there was a time where when I started kind of like going out with my girlfriends and feeling myself a little bit more like you know last summer. Yeah, we're getting in summertime maybe

more like you know last summer yeah beginning in summer time maybe like gave yourself the freedom to feel awesome yeah for sure and then just kind of just kept going from there I mean that definitely I had it ebbed and flowed a little bit there was definitely a time where I didn't feel awesome but that's you know something I mean that's me like every time about my period. So. But, you know, yeah, so the last summer is when it started to really kick off. So, yeah, what is going on with you? I mean, we basically live down the hall to congratulations on the show, of course.

Thanks. For some foremost, the trailer's awesome. I just saw the opening. The new intro, yeah. Which you told me about privately, and it is even cooler than I thought. Yeah, I've said this before in my podcast and I'm not jaded anymore about Vanderpump.

I'm really happy for all of my friends that are still on it. You guys deserve it. You've worked really hard for it. And I'm glad that this year is different. Yeah, it looks different aesthetically. It feels, I mean, it can't feel like old school because without having the old jeans around, you know,

but it kind of does in some ways, but also feels totally new. If that makes it perfect, does that make sense? Yeah, and I think it does. It's kind of the perfect mesh of everything. Like you wanted it to feel the old comfortable, but also absolutely different than anything it's been because that's life.

Yeah, for sure. But yeah, I love the new intro. I think recognizing that the show existed in as no longer that same world, we don't all exist in within the confines of Sir as much as we all love Sir. Things are different now. Our world is expanding, the vanaverse is expanding. And so to kind of have that reflect in the intro,

but keep the song obviously, because it's iconic, it's not. It is. It was really cool. I really did it personally. I know, and I see in years to come, like if Vanerpomp keeps going next year or the year after, it's gonna be like, we gotta change the drone.

Now we're going to something about her, Katie and Ariana, it's definitely. Well, it's just one stop off down the road. How is that going? It's going, you know what I mean? You think like, okay, the finding location is the hardest part, so you think, but there's so many factors that go into it.

It's not just as simple as picking out paint or tables and chairs. It's like there's a lot of extra work, legal stuff that goes into it. Licely things, I would just send. Entitlements and things at the city. Like boring timely things, but yeah. I have seen a little bit of the fun stuff.

Like I've been lucky enough as your friend for you to show me sort of different palettes and, yeah, obviously everyone's sort of seen the font. It's been posted on social media. And it is so like perfectly girly, but not crystal chandeliers. You know. You know. You know. We wanted to feel more romantic.

And that doesn't necessarily make it girly or super feminine, but that romance, I guess some people can consider that to be feminine. But yeah, we wanted to kind of have this like air of romance where you're like, I wanna fall in love with your... Like serendipity. Yeah, we wanna romanticize lunch, you know what I mean. But somewhere that's not like, it's not trendy,

it doesn't feel like this is a trendy spot. It feels like it's kind of been there forever in a way. Oh, really? You know, like it really truly like, you know, the Nancy Myers interiors, they do it like her, all of her sets just like really encapsulate that kind of feeling I feel like that. You know, like it really truly like, you know, the Nancy Myers and Tyr ears, they do it like her, all of her sets just like really encapsulate that kind of feeling I feel like. The fun parts I can't really wait to get to

because that's when it's gonna really start to come to life. But yeah, it's just a lot of, yeah, a lot of the stuff, the stuff in order to get a business started. Yeah, and the, oh, what I was gonna say is that our in and we wanted to just really take our time with these things, even with like working with consultants to really map out in great detail, the business plan,

the budget. So we had a really clear roadmap before we did anything else. And even this part, with just getting all the ducts in a row, because no shade to the guys, but they kind of worked backwards. And I don't think that really helped them in the long run. It cost them a lot of money and a lot of time. So kind of just not necessarily learning from that,

but that's just sort of reinforced that we're doing things the correct way and the right way. You knew your vision, but you decided to start from the bottom, work through all the nitty gritty, the hard stuff, keep your vision in mind. And now you guys get to work on the Pinterest board of it all. Well, yeah, you crystallize the vision and you really hammer that along the way

that you're getting everything else going. Because I don't want to say that's easy, but for us it was easy because we're on the same page so like that was like the fun easy kind of part along the way of doing everything else yeah and then you know we got our locations so now it's just other less fun like money stuff and all the boring stuff yeah the adult the, real shit. You know where you're like, fuck, this is just, I have a boyfriend who's an accounting major who although as creative as he'd like to be,

he still uses like the trigger words for me, you know, like talking about, yeah, budgets and LLCs and taxes. Oh God, I'm like, don't, don't say those words. Like nothing will sell my vagina up faster. Orderly this and Q1 yeah yeah yeah you're like oh god wait it is suck the fun out of this. I know okay something that I've

personally been running in too lately is like navigating friend groups after breakup. Oh, God. And I've noticed though, obviously, I'm friends with both you and Tom, and I just have like the utmost fucking respect for the way that you guys have handled this because I've never felt uncomfortable. I don't think any of us have really felt uncomfortable

in wondering like, who's side do we pick? Or like, where does it, you know, who can hang out with who? And I was sort of telling Luke before, so Luke isn't here today, obviously, you guys, he's out of town. And something I was explaining to Luke because he hasn't been around very long was,

right when you and Tom broke up, I remember like I had my birthday party. And then there were other certain things we would go to, and you guys would both come. You would both be there at the same time for a period of time, but you would show up separately. And I was like, I don't know if we'd even have been told.

We hadn't even told anyone. A lot of people. I think only maybe a couple of people knew then. Yeah, yeah. And I just had a lot of respect for the way you guys handled each other, respect to each other, like the way that it wasn't thrown into the wind for people to feel that way. And you guys didn't have animosity, at least,

publicly for sure. But I think that you guys handled it really, really well. But I do feel like for me, and in past relationships as well, it can be difficult navigating a front group after a breakup. So I'm just curious, Tom or not, Tom, but what are your thoughts on that? And I guess at what point does history stop?

You know how we say, oh, we have history. I love this person, but they don't fit into my life anymore. And at what point does that sort of stop mattering as we get older? Because it's something that matters. It's something that's is in like like as an excuse to stay in contact. Oh, um, or like just what are your thoughts in general about that whole situation? And people say like, this is not sustainable. And like again, like, Tom and I like it's not like, oh yeah, we broke up and we're like, let's stay friends.

And then it just always has been like, oh god, no, we too watch this season. Because like not everyone was as loving and compassionate and empathetic towards Tom and I when he broke up, some people were like, oh, I am gonna choose this side. Yeah. You know, it was like, it was very telling with some people that were very supportive and a friend to both of us throughout our relationship. People absolutely started to,

you know, and I've gravitating to one to one. Yeah, and I feel like as both of your friends, and just as a friend to a lot of people in relationships in general, and as someone who's been in a lot of relationships in general clearly, I feel like it should kind of be based on the couple. I feel like it should kind of be based on the couple. Like what do they want, what are they comfortable with? So if you and Tom are saying, literally the best thing that could ever happen is you and Tom both saying, we're not asking you guys to choose.

Yeah. Just be respectful. Yeah, that's, that's, everyone, every friend should be like bowing down to you because not a lot of breakups go that well. Well, that's kind of what the issue was this summer because people were just like, well, I just don't think you guys should.

And I'm like, well, it doesn't matter what you think. It doesn't matter if you think that if you would do this yourself or if you think that this is sustainable or if you agree with it, or I don't really care. Like this is our choice and how we wanna handle it. Like we were together for 12 years. That's not an insignificant amount of time. And if we are choosing to do this,

and yeah, maybe it's not sustainable. I don't, we don't know. But this is like for now, like how we wanna. We're not here to predict the future. Well yeah, exactly, but this is, we were very much a part of each other's families. He was very much part of my family. So if that's not something you could ever fathom doing,

then cool, I wouldn't suggest you do it then. That's a good point. But your answer and the way that it worked for you in this specific relationship may not be the right answer for everyone. I just think as we get older, I look at these things sort of from the outside looking in, I've never been married. I don't have kids. I'm not in the mom club. I'm not in the married club yet. But from the outside looking in at a group of people that I've loved for a very, very long time, I just commend the fuck out of both of you

for standing very strongly on that too, like for each other and toward each other. Our reasons for that was because of, you know, the time spent together because we love each other's like families, because we, like some of our best friends are the same people because we're on a television show together because we share dogs, like that's, that was the reason for us wanting to.

And just because we wanted to, we wanted to remain in each other's lives in a positive, amicable way. I think that's, that's, that should be fucking applauded. There's several reasons right there. Why we chose to be friends. So if you want to still argue against that, I don't know what to tell you, but those are valid reasons why we chose to do that. Some people, they have kids. So they chose to get, you know, we don't have kids. We got dogs, but like, there's plenty of reasons why we chose to do that. Some people, they have kids.

So they chose to get, we don't have kids, we got dogs, but there's plenty of reasons why people choose to remain in each other's lives. And there's valid reasons why people don't. And that's also their choice. I think sometimes, yeah, as years go on, when you find yourself in a new relationship, and that person takes priority,

and maybe they have different feelings about that, but I don't know. It might bother me if that person had strong adversions to me having a friendship or relationship with my ex because it's like, why? I was with this person for a really long time. It's not like there's still like, you know, feel like it's not like we're in a program yet. There's no inappropriate exam. It's because we like we work together have friends, it's like, it's healthy. I can make it this really awkward and have to be like, oh, I can't be your friend anymore. And then still see him at all of my friends' parties.

You as well, or you can just accept it. I don't know. So I don't see that being a problem. And I would consider that maybe to be a bit of a red flag. But you know, who y'all listen up here? Because I was just saying, I bat Katie on this 100%. But who knows? Like I just think, I've always been in pretty good terms

with my exes as far as just like no hate, of whether they, what we can name a few on the show, I'm sure that didn't work out for me. But look at Tom and Santa Vall and I, like these days. Like, we're buddies, we're cool. It's all good. Like, that did take some time because that was very messy and gross.

And it was not even comparable to like the love that you and Tom had. But, you know, I just think, I got, I did get a lot of questions as well about that. Because I think a lot of people go through that in their breakups, whether it is like a 12-year relationship in marriage or a two or three, four-year relationship, and kind of how to navigate that. And at what point do you have to say the history with friend groups isn't enough anymore? Like, it's not a reason or an excuse to stay friends.

But there are no longer friends with anyone that they're friends. I mean, if I'm no longer friends with any person he's friends with, then I'll know. But like, when is that gonna be? I don't know. Because you guys, I mean, sort of started this family as well.

Like we all started it together. Yeah, so it's like, I don't know. As long as he's still friends with the people, I'm friends with him vice versa. Like what I don't know. Like, I guess pertaining to the show obviously, there's just so much out there and a lot of ask me anything about that about your,

I think I can sum it up in one question is, what is your dynamic currently with the former and current cast? And do you think that has anything to do with your breakup with Tom? Or is it just like sort of the way growing up happens? Well, no, my breakup with Tom has nothing to do with the cast. No, my breakup with him had to do with our relations. No, I'm meeting like your friendships with those with certain people now. Do you think it had anything to do with your breakup?

Is why people, why maybe things have shifted for you? And do you think that you can still love and care about certain people on the cast, A.K.? I hate seeing cast because it is real. It's an actual, what's it like? What's it like? It's a real friendship group, people. I mean, you know, who's on your cast?

I know, like, but it's like, can you still love, say, I love this person, I care about this person, but just say, I don't feel like I want to be connected and hang out with you right now. Well, there are certain people that I, already was on shaky ground with, and then the way they conducted themselves during a very emotional rough time in my life,

which just solidified me being like you suck. Yeah. Like you truly suck. Like you are capitalizing on this event in my life was solidified me being like you suck. Yeah. Like you truly suck. Like you are capitalizing on this event in my life in a way that's disgusting. Mm-hmm. So yeah, like in some ways, yes, but it did shift and change things, but- Yeah, I don't want to like get into too much nitty-gritty because it obviously will be on the show. You're going to see it play out, but like absolutely. Absolutely.

I think there's some people that definitely saw an opportunity. because it obviously will be on the show. You're gonna see play out, but like, absolutely. Abs of friggin' loot me. I think there's some people that definitely saw an opportunity. I think it's just something I've noticed lately as I'm getting older, or I don't know if it's our friendship group, or if it's LA, or what, but I feel my social circle,

the trust tree, if you will, getting smaller and smaller. My social circle, maybe not as, you not as tiny, but like my trust tree has gotten so much smaller because I've noticed, like, do I love these people? Care about them. Care for them. Absolutely.

But does that mean I have to maintain in every other day friendship with people that I don't feel comfortable anymore because it has an effect on me, whether it be through change in life as we grow, may it be because of my past relationship, et cetera. And I think that's like a wild growing pain that can be gnarly to navigate, honestly. I don't even feel like I have to give a fuck about you.

Oh, like it does like a nasty end. This point I'm just like, I give less fucks. Like I don't have to care. I'm still loving it. No. Like literally, I'm drawing from, like it's not, I'm holding grudges. I'm just drawing from like every past experience

and current one and coming to the conclusion that I don't need that in my life. I don't need to give any energy to you, to give you any ounce of me, any longer. Like, that's it, especially if you're not getting it in return. Well, especially if I'm getting what I'm getting from you. Oh, oh, too shy. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Like, that's it. That's fat. That sounds cutthroat or that sounds whatever, but it's just, how I've been feeling lately. I have amazing fucking friends in my life. Like I don't need that. You need a 100 person social circle to feel confident, secure, and loved.

Uh-uh. Yeah, I think because I'm such a yes person sometimes and like the DJ, I'm sorry, type person that we call. And I don't want to be that anymore, but I feel like again, this is like not only coming from a Kristen Hart asking you to Katie question, but a ton of that ask Katie these questions. I've been through enough with some people

that like a better fucking learn. There's your stuff. You gotta grow, if you're not growing, if you're not learning lessons and applying them to your life, okay? That's what my therapist says. You know, she ain't wrong. She ain't wrong.

She ain't wrong. She ain't wrong. So I was watching Sweet Home Alabama last night, like on repeat. And the best, I feel like I could have written the transcript. I know it so well, but I felt that something, I was when I was watching it that didn't stick with me until last night and I wrote it down.

So I can kiss you anytime I want. Okay, well that is the best. Yeah. But when he tells Reese with her spoon that you can have roots and wings. And so I like googled the quote to see if I could see who like originally said that I couldn't. But it's apparently something that like parents say to their children, it's like a big quote that's like, we want you to have roots and wings because we want you to have stability and feel rooted where you are,

but we want you to be able to flourish. And I had this maybe stupid, but Epiphany, a ha moment. Like that's what I've been looking for in a relationship. Yeah, you want somebody that you feel that you have that connection with, that you can come home to, that is your safe place,

that also encourages you to evolve and grow as a human, and you do advise versa. Yes. Yeah, that is the ideal who doesn't want that. So that's where Katie's gonna get her group back when you find someone that you feel stable, awesome with, but literally you need your wings. Like you can capricorn,

you're on the verge of being in a queerious, like you're almost on the cusp by maybe a week, right? And you're very capricorn, like you're very logical, you're very organized, but you have those query intensities where like if you cut Katie's wings, like she's gonna grow them back like five times over and show you.

Yeah, and that's how I feel. like she's going to grow back like five times over and show you. Yeah. And that's how I feel. And so Luke actually texted me today and had a very specific question for you. Okay. He wanted to know since you've been single, have you had any bad kissers and have you ruled someone out strictly because the first time you kissed them it was a bad kiss? Because he and I were talking about bad kissing the other day and how many ways people could suck at kissing.

It's not like necessarily bad kissers, but you know, when you kiss someone and you're just like, it's just kind of like there's nothing behind it. You're just sort of like this is just no chemistry. Yeah, like this is just an act. Like you're, you're just going through the motions of it all. Like it's like, it doesn't get you excited or turned on. You know, you're just kind of like, all right, that was fun. Yeah, like that happened.

Yeah, like no, I mean, there's been that. So it's just like, there's been cases where I'm just like, and I don't plan on doing that again. Yeah. Don't. When we were talking about like Lucas said, Luke said, this one time, I like went out with this girl and he's like, I was so attracted to her.

And then she went to kiss me and her mouth was just wide open. No tongue out, but just like a wide open tried to swallow his face type kiss. And so I for me, I started thinking about it. And I'm like, I feel like kissing has to do with like the way that you kiss. You have to like have someone that kisses the way that you kiss, or at least it's slightly teachable.

For sure. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no. Like, or just can respond. Yeah. So have you like run into that in your single time? No, I don't think there's like, like, no, no, like, or just can respond. Yeah. So have you like run into that in your single time? No, I don't think there's, like I said, I haven't run into like any bad horrific stick there tongue down your throat, too much slumber.

No. Okay, I think so. There's so happy for you. There's just been some really standouts though. I was like, that's great. Yeah. And have you like said the entire time you've been single, not even just speaking about now, like when you first became single,

did you set some sort of like sex timeline where you're like, I'm not having sex in the first date or he has to like, when my trust or I'm just going to have sex on the first date, because I deserve that right now. No, I did not say any. It's nothing. Because I wasn't trying to like, date anyone. I was just like, I'm just doing this for like fun and sport. And it was like casual, like it was fun sport.

It was just, no, because it was just all like fun. I wasn't like on apps, I wasn't trying to like get to know people and date them. I was just like just trying to just be out there for myself and having a good time and having fun. So like, there was no apps for you. What about DMs? Anyone who's sliding in?

No, I do. You do the sliding. I do all the sliding. So much fun. And like one of the vicariously through, I didn't really, I've never played that game before. I've been too scared. It's more like chess because it's very slow.

It's not like you slide and then like right immediately, it might be months later, it might be a week later, it might be days later, it might be never, but like, you know, that's, it's a numbers game. So you gotta like, you know, put out lots of... You're so cute. Dimples in your little blushing cheeks right now. I don't know. Yeah. So you just got to be like, oh, he looks nice. Hi. I do say hi. I do say hi.

And you don't freak out about it or like, we're back on it. No, what's the worst going to happen? It just, it literally just goes to the DM graveyard and never gets read. That's the worst that happens. The DM graveyard. Yeah, it just gets like buried. It's like nothing. It just never gets like red, or they will respond. And there's like maybe like a little bit of an exchange.

And maybe, you know, you make plans and never happen. I don't know. That was it. But you seem, you're having fun these days. Yes, yes. People see a little bit on the trailer of the show. They show that you like, when I don't have a day, or you were like seeing someone younger,

they obviously make it very wild and outlandish up you. Well, you're just enjoying your time now. I think it's honestly wild and outlandish. It's just different. Literally no one's seen me single. Or you know, just like single, but like just with anyone but Tom so it's like it's seen I might seem like I'll landish that like well I think the way the trailer presented itself

which the Quinn or P it's very good at yeah it's delicious dick yes yeah yeah no I mean that was something I was kind of nervous for because not, yeah, there's the whole bringing another person with me just on the show, but also it was just about bringing someone around this group of friends too because not only is Tom friends with everyone, but also they've never seen me with anyone else. That's a little nerve-wracking too, just like my friends are like, this is so weird. And like who? Where people accepting of you being single and mostly where people accepting of you dating

or bringing a date on the show or just around them. Sure no show. No, everyone was supportive, but for a long time, I kept my dating error. I did it very in private or away from anyone that was, you know, friends with Tom, I never brought anyone around Tom. I just, I tried to just keep it away from anywhere

that he went. Even like I just, I didn't want to bring it to his doorstep. No, I wanted to be respectful and not think I was like throwing anything in his face or being, I don't know, just being like in your face. Like because that wasn't, that's because that's not why I was doing it. I was doing it for myself. I wasn't doing it to be like, you know, and I feel like if anything as your friend, like

you, I don't want to say you hit it, but you, you did keep that part of your life very, very private. Yeah. Yeah. For quite a long time. Yeah. Just because it was just for you. It wasn't for everyone else.

Yeah. So I think that's something I want people to like really understand Yeah, so when I finally did I think people were like, oh, okay, who's this? But you know what it had to happen at some point and you know so be it So be it the band, you know Okay, let's get into some questions that people have. And they're not all revolved around your fucking divorce or your current sex life.

So don't worry here for the love of God. Would you live anywhere else besides LA? Oh, and I think about this all the time. I have two recently. I don't know, because I've lived here for almost... Gosh. What year's it, too? I've been here 15 years.

I've been here almost 17 years. Yeah, you're 16, 17 years. So I've been here for a really long time, so it's really hard to picture living anywhere else. I love California. I don't move anyone else. I move anywhere else. It'd probably be like until another year up, or something. You love Europe, huh? Yeah, I do. I move anywhere else. It'd probably be like to like another cut like Europe or something. I don't know.

You love Europe. Yeah, I do. I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Like me as well, just like go for it, go big, you know? That's so you of you. It's very you of you to do to be like, I'm going to Europe for a few months. I'll be back.

I'll let you guys know. It'd probably be like a short term thing too, but like nothing I'm planning on it, but I'm just saying like just to like have an experience of like living somewhere else, but like, nothing I'm planning on it, but I'm just saying, like, just like, have an experience of like, living somewhere else, but like, I think I'll always like live here though. Yeah, I like that. I really like California. Yeah, I like California a lot.

I don't know if I could raise a family in Los Angeles, whatever year that might happen for me, but I do like California in general. But I was wondering if you ever thought about would you ever want to have a house back at home in Utah and be able to go back and forth or you kind of like pass Utah now that you're a lot of your families here.

I would love to spend more time that having a place there, but again, living there year round would be hard because I don't miss the cold weather. I love being able to go visit when it's the winter and it's like, ooh hard because I don't miss like the cold. Like I love being able to go visit when it's like the winter and it's so. But like I don't miss living in it. Like no way. I don't know.

Yeah. Luke and I always talk about like we fantasize and we're why when I say fantasize, I mean we're watching all the HGTV shows and we fantasize like what would like if we had all the money in the world like what would it look like for us? And it wouldn't be some, you know, $10 million mansion in Los Angeles. I would want like a smaller house, like similar to my old house in LA,

have like a little teaky hut in Hawaii, and then have like a cool house, like somewhere in the Midwest or somewhere where it snows. Yeah. If I had all the money in the world, it would be like these three little tiny spots. Yeah, being able to split time places, I think would be the most ideal.

Yeah. Okay. And I got this like 80,000 trillion times because everyone loves your style. Your favorite place to shop and addition to that is an outfit on the show that you would reuse and one that you would just recycle. Oh my God, that's really hard.

It's been many years. Places like to shop, I mean, always like to go like Zara. I mean, I have some stuff from Zara that like has lasted so long and it's just, you know, it's very inexpensive but it's like, I feel like a lot of it's like pretty well made. I also really like free people a lot. I shop at free people a lot. Yeah, I feel like your I borrow close Riala, I always have.

And I feel like you're the best shopper when it comes to staples and then trends, but you don't spend a lot of money on your trendy stuff. No, I don't, I don't, you don't like fall into the trends of the current now. No. And like you have all your staples into the trends of the current now. No. And like you have all your staples, then you have your fun pieces. Yeah.

And you're really good at like mixing matching them. And I think that's why everyone like, including myself, loves your style. And then outfits on the show? Yeah. Something you'd reuse and something you would just recycle. To. And they put like a trash bucket next to it. But you know, we don't throw things away. We recycle

Recycle, I mean, I can think of so many of your interview looks. Yeah, I mean, there's stuff from like the past I'm like, I don't know about that like I don't know We the statement necklace is behind Probably the one dress I wore twice I wore it in interview year, it was like a like a low plunging neckline. I wore it to like Guillermo's birthday one year and then I wore it. And so there's stuff I've actually like we worn that's very flattering and then like a jump suit that I wore that's like makes your boobs look really good. I wore that in an interview look and on the show once before.

So I've like I've rewarned stuff in interview looks and on the show before. I've had people haven't even noticed where it's like, I wore that green dress two times and life was over. So what is your advice? Shopping-wise, because you are essentially a fashion icon. Especially when it comes to television and social media about shopping. The one I take from you is what I just said.

It's that I think you're very great at getting staples that fit you well and then you're fun pieces. But what is your advice for people like shopping? If you spend money on staple stuff, like on the stuff that you are going to wear every single year season, you know, to season, that's the like investment pieces and then don't spend a lot of money on the trendy stuff.

And you know I'm talking about the stuff that like you just know is gonna like fizzle out. Fizzle, fizzle out. You're gonna wear it like once, maybe twice. You know, like get a bang for your butt. And invest in jeans that fit you really, really well. You know, that kind of stuff. Invest in a great like tailored, you know, leather,

or sorry, blazer jacket kind of thing that you can wear, makes and match with any outfit. Tailored pants, trousers, those kind of things, that you're gonna be able to like mix with any outfit, like those kind of like pieces. Yeah, the things you kind of just need. So it's like, oh, you have this meeting, oh, you have this lunch you have to go to.

Oh, there's a baby shower. Oh, there's a whatever. You know you can just grab this specific piece and then match it with something fun or another staple piece essentially. Yeah, I love like right now I'm like obsessed with skirts. I wear skirts. Oh, do wear skirts.

I don't think I even own one skirt. Non-stop, I love like a skirt or a trouser all the time. Probably why I just come over here and borrow a little little of your clothes. Okay, next, I feel like we've talked about this before but I did get a lot of where and how did you and I meet? And then in addition, how did we rekindle our friendship after the 2020 blowout?

Oh, gosh. Or the 2019 blowout. Well, we met at Sir. Yeah, I feel like we've talked about that in your podcast. Yeah, we met because I'd start working at Sir. And I thought Katie was 18. Everyone thought I was 18. I will never forget you had your hair slick back.

It was like in like a like a bun, but it was like a cute messy bun. And you had like red lips on or like dark lips. I can't remember. Your makeup was so clean. Essentially, how it always is now, but I didn't know you then. It was just very clean makeup with like good eyebrows and like bright bold lipstick and like really good nails. And I was like, who is this young hot person? And I want her to be my friend. I remember, yeah. And everyone thought I was not. Even like Stasi thought I was younger than her. She's only a couple years younger than me,

but she was giving me like, if I use 20 though at that time. She was like, I was like, talking about some guy that just like, drug me through the mud. And she's like, well, this is an English, because how will they're you? And I was like, this one, she was, oh never mind.

But yeah, I know everyone thought I was like super young. You got some good genes though, you do. Thanks. Okay. And then how did we rekindle? Well, I mean, when I got canceled, when you got, I remember when you have fired, yeah, that day. Let go, if you will.

OK, sorry, sorry, sorry, that was when you were released. Release from your contract. Yeah. Yeah, I remember, yeah, that it was just kind of like whatever whatever I like whatever bullshit we were hanging on to that you know I it's money because they were replaying season eight this morning and I turned it on but yeah there was like an episode where I kept to you and I was like shut the fuck up, Crestan. I don't know what?

Because you like were texting with Carter as like man I was like real bummed out on life. So, when you look at yourself and your past out and you cringe, that's when you know you've grown. I'm like, what were you cringy about? I was cringing out myself. Like, but why? Because I was like, dude, just chill out. I was so fired up. And the great of because I was wanting you to move past.

And grudder. And just like, whatever. And I was frustrated, but it was like, it was like so fired up. And the granted because I was wanting you to like move past harder and just like whatever and I was like frustrated but it was like too much. You're doing too much girl like take a breath. Like let this bitch figure it out on her own. You've done what you could do. Yes and I mean I think it was like it was just it was a lot you know but I was just like now I'm just like I don't know I just think I would just be able to be a little more chill about things. Like separate yourself from it.

Yeah like I think it's just I think I don't need to be a little more chill about things. Like separate yourself from it. Yeah, I think it's just, I think I don't need to be as like, fucking, I agree with that though, because I definitely went through times, I guess it was during the show, but just in friendship times, where, I mean, on the show, where I literally would put myself in the middle of you and your husband.

Like, you guys were in a fight, and for some reason, the fixer in me felt like it was my place to try to mend that rather than allow the two of you to just handle it yourself and go, I'm here if you need me. Like, it was not my place to force myself upon you in your own relationship. Well, I mean, yeah, whether, just not self-regulating, like, you know what I mean?

I was like, girl, just not being in control of, I was just reacting constantly and being an asshole. Yeah, but you see it differently. Yeah, I see it very differently. Okay, this is random, but alcohol or weed? Oh, wine, alcohol. Okay. I mean, I love weed, but like, I feel like weed, I like when I just, I can be a little more

autopilot with things. Not that it makes me whatever, but I just think right now I have just a lot to be proactive about. I cannot agree more. Yeah. I'm a nighttime weed smoker. I'm not a daytime weed smoker unless it's like, oh, we're on vacation. Oh, we're going on a road trip

I have zero responsibility today Then I can day smoke otherwise. It's like the day is done time to smoke weed It's hard for me to be proactive and and it does make me creative at times But I think that I the type of person that needs like caffeine not weed Yeah, yeah, no, I need if anything I need to like get my ass in gear. And when things are a little more, when I'm cruising, I'm like, all right, we can chill out. You know, I just, I get very chilled.

Yes, you do. Oh, it's the best part. Well, I know, but it's like, it's not the most motivating for me. I don't, like, you know what I'm like, I smoke weed and then I go workout and I'm like, you do what? You know what? You know.

I'm like, I smoke weed or if I do any, it's like period cramps because it's like, really helps with that. But I don't know, I used to like pop a little espresso being thing because there's only like five milligrams. And I would like, because I used to like have a lot of issue when I'd have to go get nails done or like do things like that because it just, I don't know, I get like anxious. And like, is it a weird house? I think it weird how like spa services have changed for us?

Well, that's not a spa service, that's just like, I can't sit still. I'm like, it just like, I dig, you know. It feels like a chore, and I don't wanna be like, oh, champagne problems, but when I really do have to go get my nails done, it feels like a fucking chore. Yeah.

It's not like something I enjoy anymore, I just need to like upkeep. Any kind of, like in- Shaving my vagina. But then I'd go like, oh, I gotta go trade our joes. And I'll send them a trade our joes. And I'm a little like, you know, and I'm like, oh no. Can't go grocery shopping right now.

Come home and it's just like all. I know, I see I battle with grocery shopping. Like, do I go when I'm hungry? Then I just get stupid amounts of things. Do I go when I'm hungry? Then I just get stupid amounts of things. If I go when I'm full, I don't get enough. If I go when I'm high, I don't even know what I am. I'm so much fun. Definitely not getting the right kind of,

like Mary Poppins bag. I'm like, what's that? Oh, I got that. I don't think it didn't get stuff to make food with. I got snacks and like cool, dips and chips and cheese and crackers. And then like, I don't think they didn't get stuff to make food with. I got snacks and like cool, dips and chips and cheese and crackers. And then like, I don't know, we've been- I just speak ID, but you have nothing to put it with. Bananas, and like, I don't know, just weird ass shit.

Like, nothing makes sense. I'm like, that was stupid. Anyways, that's our weed talk. So we've definitely gone over this. But if you could sort of pinpoint one thing or some things you've really learned about yourself in the last year, something different. That I'm very, you know, I'm strong, I'm resilient. I love that. That, you know, I've grown a lot, that, you know, I, I mean, that's resilient. mean, I knew I knew that I was strong, but like, I

mean, I was, yeah, I mean, I was, it was, it's scary, you know, to, to go through something that, but just to like learn that, you know, you are that, yeah, that strong, stronger, to come, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm brave, and I'm strong, and resilience, I really like. I love Chloe Kardashian. I remember it because I love the new fucking Kardashians. I love Chloe as you do. But Chloe always spoke of like her resilience. And I remember there was one episode of the Kardashians.

I don't know if it was the season or last where she was going through all the shit we all know about. And I feel like someone was like reading her something online and said like she wasn't resilient. And she was like, I like reading her something online and said like she wasn't resilient. And she was like, I'm the most resilient mother fucker or something like that, like there ever was. Like, are you kidding me right now? Yeah. And like, I couldn't agree more. When you go through these huge life changes and especially when it's aired on television and social media, you're nothing but resilient. So everyone needs to shut the fuck up. Yeah, no, I mean, I think I just learned

that I'm not scared to ask for what I want, what I need to do. That's fucking you not. I think so. Like it's just like, you're never gonna get what you need or what you want unless you ask for it. So. Yeah, don't ask permission, ask for forgiveness.

Hey. Well, I like to, what you're asking for permission, ask for an anivis. I just ask for what I want. Okay. That's even better. I'm like, I'm like, it's neither. It's just saying, this is what I need.

I gotta follow your lead. This is what I need what I want. This is what I want your new podcast. I can tell us all how to handle this. It's none of those things. It's either like you on board or you not. Like you're either getting on board or you're not. Like that's it. Yeah, fuck her out and find out. What did you say at the beginning of those things, it's either like you on board or you not. You're either getting on board or you're not. Like that's it.

Yeah, fuck her out and find out. What did you say at the beginning of last year, you were like, I used to say kindness. Don't be saying my kindness for weakness. No, I just say fuck her out and find out. A. So yeah. A.

Yeah. Do you like living alone? I love living alone. I was nervous because I haven't, I only lived alone once in my life and it was for about a year. And it was when I love living alone. I was nervous because I haven't I only lived alone once in my life and it was for about a year and it was when I was like 22 and I and I loved it then but it was that I was like that was the only time. And so because you had roommates. Yeah, I was I had I always had roommates. So you know, moving out you know, moving out of our house that I loved and then on my own, I was scared. I was like, am I going to be so lonely? Is this going to make me like really sad and like really mistombed, but

like, this is so bad. No, the first night I was like, woo, you might have a burn here, but like I was in your department right now. I came down the hall to Katie's apartment and I know she's given you guys a bit of a tour on social media, but if you walked in here, you'd be like, yeah, I would love living alone here too. It's so magical. Yeah, no, I love it. I love it because it's just mine. I can make it look how I want to look.

It's always going to be left how I left it. I just, it's just. And you can change it how you see fit. Like your hair, like if you feel like changing, you can change it. Exactly. You don't have to answer to anybody. Fuck that.

No one gets a vote here, except for me. Any advice? This is a tricky one, but I'll just ask it because I only wrote down the ones I got a shit ton of and I lumped them in. But do you have any advice on knowing when it's time to leave a relationship? And this doesn't have to obviously be about your relationship

with Tom. You've been in other relationships as well that you've had to leave. Yeah. I think you know, like you know when you know, like it's, you can analyze it all day long. You can live in denial and bury your head in the sand. But like when there's that voice in the back of your head or it's loud as fuck in the front of you, then all sides of your head head and it becomes pretty uneniable like but when you know and you know and I think the best thing you can do is to just not do yourself a disservice and honor yourself

and and give that to yourself and and just know you're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay and I think sometimes the thing that we run into is we stay longer than we should have. For sure. And sometimes you want to sometimes you want to stick you want to know that you did everything I think sometimes the thing that we run into is we stay longer than we should have. For sure. And sometimes you want to, sometimes you want to stick, you want to know that you did everything that you could. Maybe you wanted to do therapy, maybe you wanted to exhaust all the resources. And because sometimes we need to do that.

We need to know that we did everything that we possibly could. We want to leave no stone unturned. We want to not be able to question, how long would have I just? Like, I get that. And that's what I needed, I think for myself too. But I think once there was just like no doubt in my mind, the decision was like not easy. This is not an easy decision to make. But it was, it doesn't mean it's not emotional. It doesn't mean that it's simple. It was pretty, it was pretty obvious. And so in, in turn, asking that, how I got this a lot as well, how do you maintain such a positive attitude?

You make the decision every day? Because I agree. That's why I've listened to the last started and I've listened to the last couple of episodes of You're Gonna Love Me. And you decided to make a transition and we'll find out for you what that transition looks like. But it was also, even with you choosing that you're going to love me,

it's going to take a step aside. Maybe you'll revamp that. Maybe it'll be something new. You're not done with the podcast world. It's always with such positivity. Rather than I think when you started, you're going to love me. It was like you're funny, spin on like your rage texts and like proving yourself to people that you weren't some bitch essentially, to be honest.

You know what I mean? So yeah, I got a lot of questions about maintaining your positive attitude. Well, I think we fall into the habit of doing a lot of negative self talk and that has a way of manifesting big time in our lives. So it can sound like a Pinterest board where you do these positive affirmations and everything

to that. But I think you make a choice of how you show up in your life and who you are in your relationship with yourself is the most important thing. So how we speak to ourselves and about ourselves. And I choose not to be a victim in my own story and how I speak about myself. And that like, everything is bad in my my life and bad things happen to me. But it's just like, no, like everything is like worked out how it should and everything is going good in my life. And like that, it's like, yeah, like things have not worked out, like in terms of my, you know,

but it's like, it's not because I failed or because it failed. It's just because like, if it's, like what Gabby Barnes has said, if it's not this, it's something better. You know's like, it's not because I failed or because it failed. It's just because like, if it's like what Gabby Burns has said, if it's not this, it's something better. You know, like, I have to always believe that there's just something better waiting for me on the other side. And you know, it's just the end of a chapter, the end of your story. I just romanticized the fuck out of my life constantly. I'm not joking my therapist and I talked to you yesterday.

And she essentially told me to start doing the same thing. Didn't feel that I was doing it enough. It was like obviously I have gratitude, but like you have to start celebrating all the things that are wonderful. And yeah, essentially sort of be delusional. Like even if it was like Monday, you had a not great day because of X, Y, and Z,

but you did this, this, this, and this. Like, celebrate those things about yourself. Celebrate that you overcame something. Celebrate that you accomplish certain things. Stop setting such a high standard for yourself that if you're not the best of the best of the best than you're a failure. Because that's not true.

Because then it is the negative self-talk. Yeah. It's no one else telling you that. Because the best case scenario, all those things that you fantasize about and that you're delusional about happen, worst case, you spend time just being really positive and fantasizing about, yeah.

You were dreaming and reaching for the stars. I'm not saying that I just walk around with a smile slapped on my face. No, of course I have bad days and of course I cry and of course I'm like, oh, but like I try to spend more time not being upset about things and not being bummed out on things and like yeah, I have, you know, not every day is great, but but more days are better. I love this. I love this is making me feel like my day is gonna be so productive now when I leave your apartment. Yeah, I just, honestly.

Okay, so one last question that I've been trying to lump up as well, but I feel like I just have to make this clear and something I've been avoiding is I get so many questions like, oh, is she not friends with this person? And how are you friends with that person or how are you guys both not friends with that at a jibber jabber? So what I think I'll ask you the question, but what I'd like to make clear. So I decided to ask you, do you and I discuss other friends?

Not really. Not really. Well, I don't know what there's really. That's, you know what I mean though. Most they talk about like, boys. Yeah. We talk, there's like, I feel like there's a lot of other shit to talk about. Yeah.

And to talk people or talk about other people or. Yeah. And I think what I love about my friendship with you is being able to be each other sounding boards, but not requesting or begging for some sort of answer to that. Like, well, don't you think she's a bitch too, or don't you think he's horrible too? And like requiring that validation from the other person, it's just like what I learned from my sister,

do you want to advice her, do you want to vent? Yeah. And sometimes it's just, we just need to hear each other out, but you're not, neither of us are looking for like, but don't you think that person is, even though I know you're like friends with that person. That's called growing up, guys. Yeah, because you're not gonna get that,

because obviously I don't think that, you know? And vice versa, you know, but like, yeah. It's just, no. Yeah. True. So that's the answer is no. We, Katie and I, and I'm saying this to all the listeners, I'm saying this to certain friendies out there that have asked this question to me, Katie and I,

when we hang out, do not sit around and talk about y'all. No. And we don't talk about people. We just talk about other shit. Spaces matters. And there's specific people and thinking of that we're both friends with. I don't know the last time we've ever talked about them other shit. And there's specific people I'm like thinking of that we're both friends with like I don't know the last time we've ever talked about them.

Right. Truthfully. No, seriously. For that. Because honestly, like, yeah, we just talk about like ourselves. Yeah, we do. Because that's where we're at. In 2023.

We're thinking of us these days. Correct. Thank you for coming on. No, thank you for coming on. No thank you for having me. And your podcast has been amazing. I can't wait to hear about what's next. Yes. I know. I know. It's been I've loved doing you're going to love me for the last two years. It's been incredible and I've loved like having you know people long for the ride with me. But you know I just feel like it's, you know, sometimes we just kind of evolve and change. And I want to kind of just, I want my pockets kind of meet me where I'm at now.

Yeah. And just so everyone realizes, again, she's not done. It's not over. And what I'm planning that's coming up is going to be really fun. And you're going to love it. And I might, I might have asked about it before we started recording and I know what it is and I am so fucking excited and it's gonna be really fun. Pun intended, you're gonna love it. You're gonna love it a whole lot. Oh my gosh, okay, well, so by the time this airs,

Vanderpump rules season, what is it, 10? I don't even fucking know. It's not weird. It's season was so this comes out on the on the 8th. So yeah, it'll it airs me. It's season 10 episode one will air two night y'all and I can't wait for the new podcast when it decides to come about something about her and everyone just keep following Katie You know where to fucking fall around all her platforms And well, I pretty much just on Instagram. That's like your TikTok. I don't post on TikTok. We got to be more TikTok I know I mostly TikTok killed it. I mostly I mostly I mostly specced theater on TikTok. You send me a lot of fun ones Yeah, yeah, like I like to watch TikToks I don't really like post on them, but like, I don't know, I can barely post on my Instagram.

I don't know. It will follow Katie on Instagram and watch Vanderpump rules and stay posted on all the fun things coming up in her life. Because you'll hear it from her mouth first. How about that? Correct. A, all right.

Have a good week guys. Talk to you next week. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Dodie and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke Double underscore broadrick. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes every single Wednesday. Thanks for listening. See you next week! you