Sex Talks With Emma-Louise Boynton - Your pleasure is your responsibility with Florence Bark and Reed Amber

Episode Date: July 5, 2023

In this first episode of the new iteration of the Sex Talks podcast, host Emma-Louise sits down with the duo behind the sex-positive platform, Come Curious, and podcast F*cks Given, Reed Amber and Florence Given. Here to answer your agony aunt questions about all things sex, love, life and relationships, Florence, Reed and Emma discuss everything from improving your masturbation to overcoming body image issues during sex, to exploring kink, to the ultimate power of getting to know your own body. If you want to send your own agony aunt question to the podcast, head on over the sextalks.co.uk. This episode was sponsored by dating app, Feeld. If you want to spice up your summer, all while supporting this podcast, then please do download Feeld using the exclusive download code: feeld.co/sextalks.

Hello and welcome to the Sex Talks podcast with me, your host, Emma Louise Boynton. Sex Talks is dedicated to engendering more open and honest conversations around typically taboo topics, specifically sex, relationships and the future of intimacy. In this Agony Aunt style podcast, I'm putting your sex, dating and general life woes to a guest agony on each week. from how to avoid losing yourself in love to top tips for exploring kink for the first time to finding love when you're feeling hopeless

to overcoming sexual shame wherever you're struggling with we got you submit you're adding our questions on the sex talks website that's at sextalks.com. Okay, I hope you enjoy the show. Welcome to the Sex Talks podcast this is the first episode that I'm recording hence we've had some technical difficulties

which have characterized some just for the last hour and a half But I am so excited to be joined today for episode number one by none other than the duo behind Come Curious, who hosts one of my favorite sex-focused podcasts called Foxgibbon. I have listened to podcasts for ages. I've followed your work for so long. I've interviewed both of you and think you are phenomenal. So it's Reid Amber and Florence Bart. Welcome to the podcast.

Hey. Hey. It's so nice to have us on. It's not when you're going to say. Thank you for having us on, especially being somebody who both got us to on your sex tours. Yeah, which is like fabulous. To talk in person at an event, thank you.

Oh, it's a pleasure. Given that you both wear many different hats, the classic multi-hypheners, can you give a short introduction to yourselves and all the other things you do outside of Come Curious? Maybe tell us a little bit more about the platform. Mm, yes. Well, Come Curious is a little. It's kind of, it sparked from YouTube back in the day where we talk everything, sex relationships, bodies, mental health

and it kind of evolved from there and evolved into a podcast, Instagram platform and we just became these people that were obsessed with talking about sex. Yeah, we have a huge audience. Now that sounded like I sucked my own dick there. We have the curious fuckers who are just so loved. lovely and we started part of this community that was all sex honest and yeah it's been amazing we're still doing the podcast together we are on the YouTube channel um and outside of everything you're recording or stuff you're doing on YouTube what do you also do outside of that

well I am a proud sex worker I do the activism thing trying to wave the flag for sex workers have only fans I'm a sex educational anti-shamer I talk a lot about kink some fetishes being my speciality, and yeah, kind of do the TV thing now. Recently explained to Jeremy Kyle why we need better porn literacy in schools, which we will go into later by absolutely love to that interview. Yeah, he was wild. Yeah, he was literally wild. Don't get that twinkle in his eye.

And Florence, what about you? So me, I am now an author, which is crazy to say. We're definitely talking about books. a book called This Book Will Make You Feel Something, which is all about masturbation and getting female pleasure more out there, getting people talking about it. But it's also full of little erotic stories, which I think is my favourite part of it. And as well as that, I had my own podcast called Love High for a bit, where I talked about breakups, relationships stuff. It kind of was inspired by How to Heal a Heartbreak series that I did, also a podcast.

So I'm a bit of a break-up expert, unfortunately, for me. It sounds so sad, but it's actually great for other people. I was going to say, I really need that generally. Oh, they actually write, you know what, I've been single for so long, and basically, I'm involuntarily settled, but I don't need any breakup. I need access help. I honestly, I'm an insult. I have an insult.

And there's a certain kind of indignity, I think, to running a platform called sex talks when you're an insult that is. You've not lost on me. You know what? I've not been having that much sex this year either. And it's hard running, sex-related talks and conversations when you're not really doing it yourself. It makes you feel a bit fraudulent. Very fraudulent. The imposterousine.

You're like, I've got nothing to draw from. What do I talk about? I've rinsed a couple stories to the point now. I cannot publicly talk about them. Like, yeah, that was so long ago. That is not a relevant story or anecdote for anything anymore. But do you feel running, I'm curious, have you felt over the years pressure to, I guess, to be more exploratory of sex,

to be more kind of have very active sexual lives in order to be able to talk about it. Have you felt that pressure? Hmm, that's a really good question. Maybe slightly. Yeah. In terms of it kind of, it gives us the accountability to stick to, you know,

what we want to explore and what we've spoken about, like, having interest in. I definitely feel a little bit odd about the fact that I've spoken so much about kinks like BDSM and lactation and stuff. And then when it comes to my actual sex life, it's been so vanilla and so not kinky. And I think that makes me feel a bit weird sometimes.

Yeah, it's like the imposter syndrome with your sexuality. I'm transsexual and I feel like a fraud because I haven't had enough relationships with women or other genders. And it's the same thing. It's we shouldn't be allowing that imposter syndrome to take over. You are still huge in the kink space. It just might not be what you're having.

right now. I'm still looking for it. Yeah. I'm just searching forever. Yeah. But yeah, definitely. I think it becomes a little bit kind of, well, I found anyway, I feel like sex become quite kind of theoretical topic. I mean, definitely the way I discuss that sex talks. I do come in it from quite a kind of theoretical

perspective. Yeah. And it's really talking about kind of sex through, as a prism through which you can explore so many different issues. I mean, you exemplify that on your podcast. You cover so many different topic areas through sex, through that sex as the main topic. But I do remember listening to you on one episode a while ago, in which you said that of course you're both like really sexual

and have a really high sex drive because you know why else would you run a sex platform if you didn't and I remember thinking I was like that's so funny because I run a sex platform and I come from the opposite direction because I set up sex talks because I had a really bad relationship to sex I didn't want to have sex I didn't particularly like sex so did sex therapy and then out of that it completely changed my relationship to my body and to sex but now I feel like I've become so much more kind of confident and open and excited to talk about sex and to think about my sexuality and how I want to explore it. But that's the theory. Now it's like, cool, let's do the practical.

Like, what does that look like and how do I do it? It must be a state of mind. It's not about what you're physically doing in the world. It's about where your head is at when it comes to sex. If you just have an active interest in sex, regardless of whether you're doing it physically or not, I think that's just, that's the makings of wanting to learn more and do more research and base part of your life. your career around your thought processes around sex. I don't think it's got anything to do with how much we're getting. Because there are times where we're not getting enough or we're getting too much sex.

We also love talking about the parts where we're not getting enough sex. Because I think the absence of sex is also part of the conversation because it's something that we're all experiencing. Yeah, totally. Because I think sex is always, I mean, it's such a, obviously, it's like the most universal topic and yet it's one of the most taboo topics. So I think it already has this kind of innate fascination. to me as a topic that societally

we're all kind of at least unconsciously kind of obsessed with but kind of at a high level we pretend like we don't talk about it like we don't watch porn like we don't care and get everyone is fucking or you're not fucking to your point and that in itself is a

thing and it's an issue for you so tell me I mean you guys set up sex you guys set up sex you guys established sets you set up come curious all way back in 2015 which was a very different time to the one we're recording in right now.

I mean, we've seen the massive growth in the sexual wellness industry. Sex and your relationship to sex is now very much seen as part of the wellness industry. I mean, sex is now a category within wellness, which is very, very new. Now you've got a little pop-up and self-ages for sex and sleek. Yeah. Tell me how different it is to be working on Come Curious, be recording the podcast, be doing sex work in this climate now versus back in 2015. Gosh, it was so different, wasn't it?

Because one of the reasons why we started doing what we do is because the content that we did see out there was all anonymous. And we were like, well, you know, if we're going to really bust that's the shame and the stigma around it, we need to show our faces so that people can see that we're not ashamed of talking about this. We met on a porn set, which is like how we created Come Curious. And we just spoke about sex in depth, so in depth that it really helped us both get, rid of a lot of shame that we had around our bodies and sex and kink and nipple hair and discharge and all the things that we weren't seeing or being educated on and we were both like right well we need to put our faces out there the conversations that we've had just in the privacy of our own living

room we ended up living together um we that helped us out so much we were like we need to share this with people and film ourselves and put ourselves out there and wow like the the response was more shocking it was it was not quite the response that we were prepared for we had a real mix of this is the responses we were getting were like you have changed my life by talking about this to you are evil women who should be murdered you know like it was a it was a real clash of these two two thought processes but of course you know what prevails is the ones that that really made a difference to us that actually said that we changed their sex lives or we we ended up having some girl over in Europe somewhere being like I was suicidal before finding your YouTube

channel because of an abusive relationship and you've helped me find my sexuality again and that was like the turning point where we were like okay we're not just doing this for fun anymore this is actually changing the way that people think and feel about sex and that's all we wanted to do yeah and I think what you articulate so well there I think is how important sex is our relationship to sex to all aspects of our lives and all facets of our being, whether you're having sex or whether you're not, whether you have a partner or whether you're single. Your relationship to sex is really about your relationship to your body. It's how you see yourself as a gendered being, how you experience your gender, how you experience how the world sees you and your gender

and your sexuality, how gender equality plays out both privately and publicly. It relates to so many different things. So when you begin like talking and thinking more about sex as a topic, I think it does open up so many different avenues of exploration for you as an individual, but I think also society, it's so important for us to talk about it publicly and to have these kind of open frank conversations. That's why I think your podcast does so particularly well, is that you are so, so frank, so open. I mean, that's poor detriment. That's why we don't get paid. Yes. And it is exhausting. You know, being that vulnerable all the time does take a tax on you. And it's part of what we love about our job. And every episode, every podcast episode

we do is like a therapy session and it can be so rewarding but it does come at a price sometimes and it's trying to find that balance between helping other people and how honest you're supposed to be in the moment because we want to in a podcast setting you don't think about all the people listening to it you just think it's us in the room it's us three people so why wouldn't i talk about the fuck that went bad last week and not really think about the consequences but we've we've had to learn to really take our time over what we share and to really think think about how we talk about it in the moment, especially if it's something to do with an X. And all we want to do is be angry. And then a couple of weeks later, that comes out, we're

like, oh my God, I don't feel like that anymore. And what if that person hears it? And how am I going to sound? It's been a real learning curve, like, for us for a long time. And we're still not getting it fucking bad. I don't think the relationship that I ended around Christmas, I definitely use the podcast as a bit of a venting system. For sure. And he doesn't. And he doesn't doesn't talk to me anymore, so I was like, did he listen to the podcast? Which is so dumb. Is that one ghosted me? I always wonder whether the people you talk about are listening to the podcast. Yeah. Are they do you know? Have people fed back to you? Like, I've heard you chat about

our recent thought. Not, not, how could you not want to? I'd be so curious. I'd be like tuning in every week. I had a really funny story about this. One of the guys that I saw used the podcast episode where I spoke about the sex with him to send to a girl that he wanted a fuck as basically a good review. Here's my five-star review. It's in this podcast. And I think they fucked.

Bad I did. To be honest, I think, yeah, if someone sent me a five-star review that someone else had given them, I'd be like, on the podcast, especially, you're very fine. You got a sexual blue tick, honey. I'm interested. Good. Right. So the purpose of this podcast, as I explained before, is to answer some of the most frequently asked questions from the sex talks community. So it's an agony aunt-style podcast. So you two today are resident agony aunts for the sex talks community.

Hey, you love it. Exactly. So the first question I love, and Florence, this is actually such a perfect question to have, given that your books just come out. So someone wrote in saying, I don't know how to approach masturbation. Every time. I try. I don't enjoy it. I have a dildo but often just end up mindlessly simulating penitive sex, which doesn't make me come. Am I trying the wrong thing or am I just broken? Oh my heart, the relatability to that because we felt this so much, the broken thing, especially around orgasms and not getting wet. I think a lot of us think that it's all porn. It sounds like she's just trying to mimic porn. You're also not being turned on. by certain things that you expect yourself to be telling by. And I feel like that's the thing, especially using like a dildo in particular for masturbation, something that I hardly ever use.

Yeah, I never use a dildo. Because it's also, I love penetrative sex and I don't even really use a dildo. It's long. Yeah. It is really long. It's, to your point, read, I think that the word broken, it comes up all the time at sex talks. And it's actually what I started, when I first started sex therapy, said to my sex therapist, I'm broken. I don't work. I couldn't orgasm and partner sex. I didn't enjoy sex. I didn't like my body. I was like, I'm broken and you ain't gonna fix me. So like, I don't really know what I'm doing here. But here I am. I'm like, what are you? Give me an orgasm? You're not, are you? We're on Zoom. And it's a pandemic. But I thought I was so alone in having these issues around sex. I thought I was so alone in feeling disconnected from my body and feeling like

every time I had sex, I was kind of watching myself from a kind of distant vantage point and was just unable to be very kind of present in the moment. And then it's been fascinating because since running sex talks, the number of women specifically, and I think men allude to it without maybe using that same language, but have said to me, I'm broken, I have so much shame around sex, I don't talk about sex, I don't, I don't think I like it. And it breaks my heart, but also I find it, in a way, it's kind of galvanizing. It's like, we're all mixed together.

Yeah. You're so not alone in feeling like that. We're all trying to figure out our own. The thing is, you know, to your point, porn has presented us, like, mainstream porn. I absolutely love a lot of porn, but I think a lot of it's also incredibly problematic. But it has presented us with quite kind of monolithic view

of what sex looks like. And then coupled that with a complete lack of sex education, and this idea that sex is penis and vagina, like man, fucking woman, and that's it. And you're expected to come and enjoy it. There is no such thing as broken. There is a really small, I need a percentage of people that do have a little bit of a physical issue there.

But it is so small and very, very rare. Most people have a blockage when it comes to pleasure and orgasms because it's in their mind. And it's the way that society has built around sex and around pleasure. And porn, I think, has a huge part to blame in this. We didn't get great sex education at school and we're still not necessarily getting it now. So we learn from porn. And what do you think of when you think of porn? it is P in the

it is like a girl streaming at the top of her lungs all the way through it's like yeah faking orgasms it's like that bam bam bam bam bam and like rarely any clitoral stimulation this is like the baseline of porn and that does not work for everyone

I don't even think that works for most people especially women we are neglecting all of the senses and all of the nerve endings that are around our vulva that are around our clitorial There is a small part that is inside of us, but that is quite hard to tap into. It's about exploring what feels good for you.

I would toss that dildo aside and just get into your body and start playing with your vulva using your mind, touching what feels good to you, even if that's not what you think will feel good. If touching near your vagina hole feels good, then keep going with that. Like, I mean, we know what the clitoris looks like now. It's becoming more apparent, but it's still something we don't really see in sex education. We know what the clitoris look like. We know what it looks like.

Most people don't. It's this huge wishbone that isn't just a tiny little point in your clit. It goes all the way around and down and inside of us. It is this huge muscle, huge organ even, that is there solely for pleasure. And we are just expecting it to work like a button. we have to really tap into our minds not just our physical self and that takes time and practice

and again de-stigmatising all of that shame of not being able to come with a fucking dildo we need to prioritise just learning about ourselves in like the most basic way just really like learning the anatomy first and then going in just with your fingers and feeling yourself in a way that's like

in an explorative way that's like, okay, well, what happens when I make this movement on my clit or what happens when I touch this area of my labia? What happens if I put a shallow, like, maybe even use the dildo, but put it in shallow instead of deep and move it around in a circular motion. It's about the exploration that's really going to help you understand that you're not broken. You're just maybe doing the wrong thing.

Yeah. That doesn't turn you on. And also our body's changed. So I think it's about having that ongoing. relationship with your body, which I think masturbation is so helpful for, to continue to explore what feels good, what doesn't. And Florence, I actually quote you so much now, because sex talks once, you said, in the sex talks stage, you said, your pleasure is your responsibility. I'm, honestly, I'm like, tell I wrong, I'm like, Florence said, your pleasure

is your responsibility. But I think, actually, but masturbation is so important to get to know what you like in order to then, if and when you do have partnered sex. you know what you want to communicate to that sexual partner, what to do, how to touch you. Obviously, it's going to change from person to person. But without a good base understanding of your own body, it's really hard to then be able to be, like to communicate properly to someone what you'd like to at least begin doing and how you'd like them to touch you. It's not easy either.

No. Like being like, sorry, I know we've just fucked. But can I get my wand and can you play with my nipples while I try and achieve a clitoral orgasm. And I cannot put a vibrator directly on my clit either. I get clit burnout. So it has to be around the skin. Use your skin to your advantage here. It is so important. It doesn't need to be pull back the clit hood and directly on. That's just too much. Too much. Oh my gosh. Or use material. Yeah. Material between, use a lower vibration. Use your hands. Use like anything you can. And Florence, you mentioned at the start. You've just published a new book celebrating the joys of

masturbation and helping other people to get to know their bodies better. One thing that you focus on the book, which I'd love to talk about now, masturbation meditation. Because I think one of the things I definitely, I definitely struggle with when it comes to masturbating is just how distracted I am. So we live in such a hyper-distracted age. Our phones are pinging the whole time. Our emails are coming through. And I notice actually when I am in a kind of particularly distracted phase, I'm feeling very stressed. I'm feeling quite disconnected from my body. My masturbation is terrible. My orgasms are so light. They're just like a little ping because I feel like I've stepped out my body. I'm not in my living in my head. I'm not really living in my body. How can masturbation be kind of meditative and

how can we like lock into our bodies a little bit more, kind of deep place in order to have a better masturbation session? I think in terms of all of that stuff, I really do think it's important to set a decent amount of time aside, and also think about more than just, you know, doing it before you wake up, or not before you wake up, just wake up. Sleep, sleep masturbation. Wet dreams, baby. I actually orgasm my sleep more than I orgasm in part of sex. No, I'm definitely orgasm, but that's only when I'm not getting the sex that I want when I feel

really unsatisfied. Yeah, that's me all the time. So I'm like, yeah, I'm very, I mean, talk about independent women. I, you know, not even need to be awake. It's probably needing that release. Yeah, it really is. Setting is really important in terms of like where you're doing it, what you're using, what is around you in terms of distraction. I would put your phone in a drawer unless you're listening to something audio-wise and just have your phone on the side.

I think that's why I really wanted to make this book because it focuses everything in on the exploration. You're either reading about tips or techniques or breathwork or things that you can do to enhance your pleasure or you're listening or reading a story at the same time. So you can be in your mind, in your imagination, and it really just gives us that proper time to sit down and explore our bodies and experience solo sex. And I don't think that we ever really give ourselves the time to do that. We never sit down and think, oh, actually, I'm like self-masal. myself today but what if you did what if you like you know put a few candles out put some really nice sexy music on i made a little sexy playlist to go along with the book which i highly recommend to put on at the same time and you know get the massage oil out i don't know massage from your

literal toe up to your tits and then back down to your vulva spend the time with your body our relationships with our body would be so much better if we spent more time with it. Yeah. It's hard though. Like even we know to do that. Both Florence and I get, and I'm sure, I'm sure you do as well. We get caught up in the, I just want to bust real quick and go to sleep. Yeah. And that's, that's not, there's kind of like dutiful masturbation. We're so on it with self-care. We're so on it with like, you know, make sure you give yourself time and do your nails and look after yourself and have a bath, but we don't do the same with masturbation. There's still that disconnect and almost like taboo. We do not see it as the same as self-care. And they

are exactly the same thing. It's just you getting back in your body and enjoying your body and pleasure in yourself. There's nothing better than masturbation for self-care. Exactly. And I should be like a meditation. And I say I really struggle with meditating, which I mean speaks the fact that I find it very hard to just sit still and be present. But I do find genuinely, I find masturbating is the one time in which I, because I'm kind of, because it's quite focused. I'm forced to really think about my body and really kind of as my thoughts are, you know, I'm getting distracted. I'm thinking about my to-do list. I then go back to thinking about my clip

I'm like, let's focus on what we're doing here and I do find it quite as kind of centering activity but the same way I do by myself also kind of rushing it and being like, oh shit, I better mask of it. I mean I better practice why I preach but it's quite a kind of rushed exercise and I always say this, my sex therapist early on said to me it's really important

to seduce yourself to take the time to really yeah to get to make yourself feel sensual to do the things and it doesn't necessarily have to lead to orgasm, it doesn't need to be orgasm focused, don't need to be goal-orientated with masturbation always. But it can be as simple as like having a bath, using massage oils, but really making yourself feel like you're on a really hot date with you. It doesn't have to be too much either. It doesn't

have to be like massaging yourself or bath. You could literally just go, tonight, I'm going to masturbate and just think about that throughout the day. Tonight I'm going to give myself an organism. We're going to go on the next question. So Aguany Aunt Hat back on. I feel like my relationship to my body is stopping me from enjoying sex. Every time I take my clothes off, I'm thinking about my bad shave job, my tummy rolls. Does my vagina look like the ones he's seen in porn? You get the picture. How do I overcome this shame around my body in order to feel fully present in the bedroom? All I'm saying is, girl, I feel. We all feel this. The body shame. I think the shame that we carry around our bodies, particularly as women, is just incomparable. And even

like anatomically I was reading this earlier medieval anatomis referred to women's external genitals as pedendum which is derives from the Greek word meaning shame

the Latin word meaning shame so our anatomy and it's still referred to many textbooks apparently according to as pedendum so the very category the way science has categorised

female sexual genitalia is around shame so is little wonder that we carry so much shame around our relationship to sex. We've been taught so much shit about our bodies from when we were born. Women were shoved with, the media was just telling us, you know, we had to look a certain way. There were the beauty standards.

The fact that beauty standards is even like a terminology that we use is crazy. Yeah, but actually you thought of that. Like the standards that we're expected to meet in order to have an acceptable level of beauty for others. That's so fucked up. Yeah. I've never, I've never considered that. Both, I feel like from your social media,

you're so amazing at, like, showing your body and being really celebratory of your bodies and pubs and all. Do you feel really comfortable and happy with a body all the time? No, definitely not. Like, of course there is, I feel like everyone's kind of got two voices inside them. They've got the voice that is the inner saboteur,

the one that we've grown up with, the one that's been the loudest through most, of our lives that say you're ugly, you're unattractive, you're to this, you're to that. And we've just allowed that voice to run riot because we've never really thought about it as being something bad. We've always thought it as being, oh, I need to have that voice. It needs to be there. It's motivational. It helps me not eat this much and exercise and look after myself. But that is not a helpful voice to have. That's quite an evil voice. That's, you're literally bullying yourself throughout your entire life. And we would never stand for that. We would

never stand for bullies we would never talk to another person like that so why are we talking to ourselves like that we need to quieten that voice it's not easy quieten that voice and listen to the cheerleader voice the one that's going you know what yeah you look fucking great you've been through this and you look amazing look at this favorite part of your body ignore the part that you don't like or you know what give that part that you don't like some love and attention that it's never had be your biggest cheerleader and that's so important when it comes to sex it's so easy for us to sit in front of a mirror and go that's wrong that should be a different way that looks awful and it's so hard for us to take that voice away and reprogram ourselves and

it's possible to say nice things about ourselves but once you do and it is really hard to start it hurts to start it feels uncomfortable to do that but once you put that in place and you make that the louder voice that gets louder and louder that little shamy horrible voice get smaller and you start to truly believe that big cheerleader part of you like genuinely believe it so it becomes subconscious and then you can walk into a sexual situation going like yeah i fucking know i'm great yeah i feel this about myself i know this about myself it's all the other people that are shaming me the society but that is changing we are seeing a huge change in the way that we feel about our bodies body empowerment is becoming more and it's exciting body positivity

and that will change the way that you feel in the bedroom. I still get that sometimes. I still get like, of course, especially if I'm in my head and I feel unconscious. Wow. That's some kind of CNC play, right? I get consciously in my head and I'm not enjoying something. I'm like, no, be in the moment. Like, let's give myself some support.

And I might not be feeling the best today, especially with bloat. if you suffer with any kind of bloating which most women deal with especially if it's name me a woman who doesn't have ibss ibs period bloating anything like that can really make you feel so shit or shaving hair bodily hair i just want to be grown hairs oh my god acne anything like then you get a wax and i feel like you look like a mauled badger oh excuse to my friend and then also it's like you can't win we can't win we shave ourselves and we feel uncomfortable we leave ourselves to grow and we feel uncomfortable. I just grew out my armpit hair as an experiment to myself

to prove to myself that I could do it. And I feel fucking amazing. I shaved them. I shaved them recently because I was like, I've done you. I've done it. I've grown it out. I've conquered my fears and I feel so good. And I'm like, right, I could keep my armpits hairy or I could shave them.

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I've also put the code in the show notes. Okay, back to the show. Thank you, Field. I think that's what it's about. It's about sitting with your body and becoming confident, comfortable with it, and really sitting in the uncomfortability, like, facing the fear, basically. Yeah. Like, stand in front of a mirror and look at your body and give yourself, like, a task to do that maybe once a day for, like, one minute.

That's all you have to do. One minute a day. Just look at yourself. the mirror and look at every single little inch of your body and become accustomed to it, become comfortable with it. The more that you see your body, the more comfortable you're going to be. I also think it's quite important to see other people's bodies. Yes. I remember when me and Reid went to a nudist resort together and I was forced to kind of strip down, which I felt slightly uncomfortable about, and then enter this nude beach. And as soon as I started

seeing other people's bodies, which I thought was going to be, you know, I thought they're all going to look like models, but like they look like they do on Instagram. But when I saw them, I was like, oh, you just, you look exactly like me. Yeah. Or like slightly different. But everyone looks this, I think the way that we see people outwardly on media, it's just, it's not the truth. It's not reality. So that's why when we look at our bodies, we're like, this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong, because we haven't been given that visualisation of what bodies really look like. We need to see naked people. Yeah. That should be part of education. We should be seeing loads of different body types all the time, especially when it comes

to your vulva, like the Great Wall of Vagina. Yes. Is it the Great Wall of Vigna? I think. For anyone that hasn't seen or heard of the Great Wall of Vagina, please tell us, what is it? So I think it was a great wall of vagina. It's an art installation, right? Where there's loads of casts of women's and people's vulvers all in a row, like loads of them, like hundreds of them. I made all look so different. So different.

Because the vulvers that we saw in porn were perfect. They were all surgically enhanced. And that's awful. Imagine being back then and feeling like you have to. surgically enhance your vulva to feel and look attractive. And now we are seeing real volvers and we are seeing better in descriptions. I mean, even when you think of a sex educational book and you see a vulva, it is like so neat and perfect. And it's like that is not the reality for most women. We have a lot of extra skin there. And that is sexy and enjoyable and pleasurable.

And it's the same with circumcision. We get that a lot too. I think men suffer a lot from feeling inadequate if they're not circumcised because I know that circumcision or having four skin can be seen as unattractive in some societies. And that's just like, that's a whole load of pleasurable skin there that you're literally getting rid of. And it's like, but why? Both Florence and I would highly recommend doing the 30 day nude challenge

when it comes to... What is the 30 day nude challenge? So this is giving yourself the task of taking a nude of yourself every single day for 30 days. It could be a series of nudes, it could be one nude, but making sure that you're looking at yourself in a sexy light. And this doesn't have to be sexy all the time. It could be sitting there, you know, say if you take hot nudes and you're like,

yeah, what's that going to do for me? Make sure that you're taking a nude in a non-sexy position, taking a photo of places that you would never normally think as sexy, never normally look at or want to look at. For me, for example, I take a lot of sex. sexy news and I love my body being sexy but the challenge for me was to sit in a position that wasn't deemed sexy or take a photo of my butthole and sit there and be sit in the uncomfortable feelings around my butthole and be like no your butthole is sexy look at that like even if

you've got pubs coming out all the way down your thighs like that is fucking sexy and by the end of the 30 days you will feel differently about a sexy body I really love that because I think I'm so used to associating, taking a series of body pictures with progress picks. This is your Thursday fitness challenge. You will look 10 times better in 30 days. And I mean, I fall for every fat. I really am that person. And I'm really putting in the hands of any sort of targeted ad that is around transformation.

But so I very closely associate taking a picture of myself every day is about judging myself and looking at that picture to see how I can be better tomorrow. How can I be better tomorrow? How can today I be better than I was yesterday and then how tomorrow will I be even better? And obviously with my history of eating disorder, that has very much associated them with restrictive eating and over-exercising.

The idea of flipping that and taking pictures that's about celebrating right now, this is what your body looks like. So I think you take for granted that tomorrow is going to come to use a massive cliche, but it's true. Tomorrow is no guarantee. So it's like this is the body you have today.

This is the vehicle that is taking you around the world that is giving you all these amazing experiences that gives you so much amazing capacity. see for pleasure, be in this body today and enjoy this body today. Because there are no guarantee you're going to be here tomorrow. Yeah, take a photo of your bloating and make that sexy. Take a photo of your body on posed, of your stubble or your hair. Like, make it sexy.

And honestly, it will change the way that you feel about yourself. It is celebrating the now rather than what you should be. You both do only fans, I think that's right. Has that impacted on your relationship to your body? Definitely. Yeah. In a positive way, I think when I started, it was at the end of this four and a half year relationship that made me feel so insecure about myself and so not hot that when I started

taking the photos for only fans, it made me realize, you know, what I did have and how my body could look. And it made me feel hot because I was, I guess I was doing it for that purpose. But it was just literally, I think, the activity of taking photos. of myself in lingerie, naked, seeing my body in that way, that really gave me that confidence back and helped me realise that I am a fucking hot person. And I think everybody is. Take nudes of yourself.

It is so important. It doesn't take away. Take nudes. It doesn't have to be for anyone else. It could just put your eyes only. Or if you want to share them, that's great. And I think I started with Only fans taking those stereotypical, I'm hot,

I'm sexy photos, but now I switch that up and now I do very, very real photos where I'm in positions or I'm showing body parts or like, again, hair that you wouldn't expect to find on Only fans or in pornography. And people fucking love it.

Like, there's this one picture I have in mine where I'm in the shower and I'm bent over in a really unattractive in unattractive in quotation marks position where my tits are sagging down, where my belly's hanging out and I'm naked and I'm loving it and I'm smiling and that got so much attention and love on Ony fans because they saw that I was happy. You know, it wasn't the fakery of I need to have

lights and camera and be posed the entire time. Sure, that's great and that's hot and you're allowed to have both. But pushing yourself to do the things that make you feel uncomfortable that make you fear, it does change your perspective over it. Yeah, it's beautiful. People love it. People pay for it. And that is a sure guarantee. That is how you measure value of something. Will people pay your partner? Can I get the shmany?

That is an interesting point, though, because does that also potentially create a relationship to your body where you're then getting external validation? And does that ever tip over into a point in which you feel like you need that validation and which is monetarily validated as well? And has that ever affected you in a way that actually has made it? made you be like, oh, hang a second, this isn't a little good about my body. It's a very good point. I think at the beginning, the validation was definitely there as a

part of the incentive to create more content, to create, to be hot online, to, you know, even my Instagram is like that. And of course, there is almost, there is an element to, yeah, making sure that you are getting those likes and all of that attention. and when the comments are all amazing and they're really congratulatory and talk about how sexy you are and then you get that one comment that isn't like that or says like,

oh, that's gross and that's the one that sticks in your mind and it's almost like you have to train yourself to not do it for the validation which is of course really fucking hard when you're talking about Instagram and it is all about likes and followers I was just thinking when you were saying that I think I feel that more with Instagram

than with OnlyFam. Yes. In such a weird way. But maybe it's because I've disconnected with that part of Only fans. Like I don't really, I don't do it for the validation.

I do it for the money. Yeah, not anything. I do it because I take sexy photos of myself and I enjoy doing that and I upload them because it earns me money. But it's never really been for the validation on OnlyFans.

But our Instagram is. Yeah. Like I would get addicted to the validation. on Instagram. A joke, I mean, hit you get from the likes on Instagram. Exactly. Yeah, if you get a post that doesn't do well. We have found that with OnlyFans, if our subscribers drop,

then it can make us feel unattractive or like we're doing something wrong. It can do that. But it is rare. A lot of the time it's just like, oh, I'm just not putting enough effort into my OnlyFans account. It doesn't necessarily affect the way I feel Instagram is so much worse. It's so much more public. And like, when somebody comments a shitty comment, It's like, oh my God, everyone else can see that.

And then that must mean that other people might think that. And it's just, it's training yourself not to, yeah, not to obsess about it and take it too much to heart. But that takes a lot of fucking work. As Glennon Doyle says in her brilliant book, Untamed, it's hard for women to be healthy when they're breathing in misogynistic air. And I think that misogynistic air is so pervasive. And we forget that also a lot of these platforms are built by typically white men before other men. and I think perpetuate a lot. I always say that I feel like platforms like Instagram.

Listen, I use it. I find it valuable for work. But I feel like it like technologize the male gaze in actually a really damaging way, especially the way it shows bodies. Like if you're a fitness influencer and it's completely fine to be basically naked the whole time, showing up your abs, no shade there.

Like I'm like, you do, you, if you've got a great butt, show it. But that's okay. It's like when women are kind of in a way like showing off their bodies kind of full, external gays then that is fine but then when you post sexual pictures of yourself or ones that not even are sexual but about like you know i know that you've really had your account banned like eight times so it's like i feel like actually a lot of the kind of confusing messaging that we get as women about our bodies in society more broadly has been like concentrated in these platforms so

almost like that that has been like imbued in the technology that we're now also reliant on for a lot of our work. So it's a weird kind of matrix to be in. Because I definitely see on my Instagram that if I post a sexy pick that's like in lingerie, then my engagement will be through the fucking roof. But it will also be teetering on the edge of me

getting my account band. But if I post something where I'm not naked and it's just a normal picture of me, it won't get as much engagement. So we're basically having to sell our bodies for engagement, but in having to sell our bodies, because we talk about sex and because we're activists in the space, we then fear being removed completely and our whole livelihoods are then destroyed. I've noticed recently, actually, I get, if I post anything around, well,

if I post stuff around masculinity, it's recently, it seemed to before much better than if I post anything around female pleasure and sex education. And that could just be, I mean, there's been differences in terms of people I've had speaking, but yeah, I definitely know kind of weird fluctuations and when their focus is really on sex education, female pleasure, there is just not that. And I don't, and I think it's just algorithmic how it works. We are going to rapidly go on to question number three, and we are running out of time, so we're going to do this one quickly, but I did want to get to this. This person has written in and said, I want to start experimenting with kink and have a few ideas around what I might want to explore with kink, but I

don't really know where to start, where to kind of begin with this exploration. Do you have any tips? I would always say in a weird way with this, that porn could be the answer. Like, especially exploring, I guess, websites potentially like kink.com and seeing kind of what's out there, how people are doing things, could kind of inspire you on how you can start yourself. We can actually, we can learn from porn in a positive way it's not always a negative thing yeah and there are a lot of there is a lot of porn out there that is actually educational and is actually good if you're looking in the right places especially when it comes to amateur stuff like on lustre or ersty's you can see how real couples are you know experimenting with kink and bdsm and kink played quite an

important role for you florence isn't it in the half-mathier breakup i know we spoke before about, so you describe for me how Kink actually proved very healing for you in the aftermath of a really heartbreaking breakup. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Kink is one of those spaces that is about, it is about claiming an identity and your sexuality and your body and having that ability to explore those kind of deep, dark crevices of your sexual identity. And I think when it come to the community as well because of the way that people are in it they're so communicative so caring and there's such like a i guess you you get quite a lot of um you can you can be so vulnerable with it but then also so cared for that when you're dealing with something quite

painful it can be really good to reconnect with your body in that way um and i think also i've I haven't personally explored kink at all so this is just anecdotal but I interviewed someone who told me how for them they'd experienced quite a lot of sexual violence previously which had been really traumatic for them and then in doing kink it was it kind sounds crazy that doing kink and it being that person liked quite violent kink um and violent sex scenes but they said actually it created a safe space in which very clear parameters were set and which they were very much in control of and being able to act out like sex scenes but being totally in control of them was really helpful in them overcoming a lot of that sexual trauma that they'd carried

with them I think for quite a long time yeah I mean no one should use a kink to heal from trauma but it can be a very healing tool you know because there's there is a great area and there are fine lines and it's hard to know if you're with someone that does make you feel inherently safe but when you find that person where you can really explore quite big extremes or role play or, again, the sub-dom power imbalance type of play, then if you're doing that with somebody who is very in the know or makes you feel completely safe, then it can change how you feel about sex and sex and violence. Sex and violence, a lot of us fantasize about that. A lot of us do that in our own spare time.

and in the porn that we look at, in the sex that we have. But it so depends on who you're doing that way. And of course, again, there's that fine line, which I wouldn't recommend anyone goes in and says, I want to heal for my trauma, let's do this. It's got to be with the right person. You have to go with that gut feeling and make sure that they are checking in continuously

at the beginning, during, afterwards, the aftercare. And it can't just be, and in the moment thing, it has to be a comment. conversation throughout the whole thing. But I definitely use kink and like kink play for my, I mean, that is the only type of sex that I have. That is the sex that I want to have. That's the sex that I fantasize about, mainly because I have kinks and fetishes. And that's the only thing that gets me off is playing around with that space. Can you just explain for us very briefly what the difference is between a kink and a fetish? So I think that's quite a good distinction to make.

Yeah, both the terms get banded in quite a lot. So a kink is, an uncommon turn on, you know, something that you can take it or leave it. And you're right, with porn, it's so interesting having a look at what you enjoy. It's, you know, it's very, it can be anything, spanking, choking, gagging, bondage, role play, anything that's just not straight standard vanilla sex. But it's very different to what a fetish is. A fetish is something that's very fundamental to your pleasure. Not many women have fetishes. It's way more men, but again, it's still quite a rare thing. And a fetish comes from an experience or a situation that turns into an obsession when you're younger.

And going through puberty, it turns into something sexual. You will know if you have a fetish, if it's the one thing that you think about when you want to have an orgasm, it's the one thing that you search for in porn, and you can repress your fetish for sure. But often or not, a fetish is a sexual obsessive. with a body part, an action or an object. So inherently a non-sexual thing. Can you give us an example? I know you've spoken to me before

about your tickle fetish. Am I right? Baby, so I have a tickle fetish. And I also think that I have a consensual, non-consensual fetish and a bondage fetish. Like I can literally look at a picture of tickling and get off. I can look at, I can just think about something consensually non-consensual play. I mean, that's the play that I like anyway.

Again, you have to be very careful about playing around with that kind of role play, but it's an okay fantasy to have. I think most people have thought about it in some kind of concept. And it doesn't mean you're a bad person. It means that it's consensual in your mind and the safety of your thoughts, in the safety of the in-person space. and also bondage I like it's those three things

are fundamental for my pleasure are the things that get me off I can no I don't think I can get off without those things and of course you can have a kink

you can have yeah what's the term it's like that thing could be a kink but it might not be a fetish everything can be a kink it's kind of like a take it or leave it thing I think BESM for me is a kink

and even maybe the lactate thing even though it might have like come from somewhere and what's lactation thing for anyone that doesn't hasn't heard your podcast my little pink i really get off on the fantasy of someone feeding from my breasts yeah we love to hear it and you lived out that fantasy with one guy or you talked about in the podcast he came over yeah and he just sucked a nipple for an hour oh right yeah oh god it was so good Was it? Yeah.

I remember you saying on the podcast that you were like, my nipples so raw. My nipples were actually scabby. I was like, now I know what it feels like to be a breastfeeding mother

because I complain all the time and I'm like, yeah, yeah, legit. He did it for an hour and you think his mums are having to. Yeah, he's sucking pretty fucking hard though

because I kind of, I'm into like the pain aspect of it as well. And so you've both spoken quite a bit about the importance of safety obviously when it comes to exploring kinks and fetcheses. Just so we're giving this person some really solid, great advice, what are some kind of key things that someone who is a novice to this world can put in place

to make sure they're exploring kink safely? So I know there's like a light system. Definitely safe words. I think that's really important to go through that with any partner that you're exploring with. There needs to be a get out word. This is too much for me word. And that quite easily could be amber as like a warning and then red as let's completely stop yeah that's the traffic light system it's supposed to be like green is like great i love this yeah amber orange is like oh not so sure about this like i'm this might be getting to my limit and red is completely stopped and once you just have a conversation about that with somebody that means your play can be so much more involved and you could get carried away with it and it's not until you say a safe word that you

really, you know, you stop and you take the time to go, okay, well, what could we have done differently there? You don't want to shy away from safe words. I think a lot of people, when it comes to kink and hardcore play, think that saying a safe word is a failure and it is not. Saying a safe word is exciting and you want to get there so you both know your limits. That's what you want to do. Things like aftercare are also extremely important for when you're playing around. And I'm not just saying aftercare for someone who's submissive. Aftercare for somebody who's dominant to is just as important. And what does aftercare look like? What does it entail? It's so many different things. And I realized recently that after care for me was literally

just having a form of communication after having sex, whether that's, you know, the evening after or the day after. Because I don't think we really think about that, especially when it comes to maybe even vanilla sex. You know, everyday sex still should include aftercare. I think it's important to feel cared for after sex because you put yourself out there so vulnerable. You put yourself out there so vulnerably. But it can also, it can get more extreme. So if you're doing like a full kink session, maybe you'd want like, you know, a little cuddle afterwards and like make sure like the Dom is caring for the submissive afterwards. And if someone's going to a sex party for the first time and kind of it's a kind of sex party what if you're going in

you're complete novice to it so going to be me how would you approach so if you you know you meet someone you think they're attractive they're like do want to come to the playroom would you set out safe words with that person what would you do how would you kind of set that situation up so that you feel comfortable it's it's all about conversation all of it doesn't matter whether you're in a sex party setting or whether you're in the privacy of your own home, it's about having that conversation and saying things bluntly and how it is and talking about things openly without judgment. So if you meet someone at a sex party, it's like, okay, like even if it's rushed, it can be, what are your limits? What do you like? What don't you like? Just give me a brief

rundown. And that could just be like, oh, I'm into kissing and biting, but I'm not into spanking. Or, yeah, just don't handle me too roughly. Can you choke quite lightly. But then you can also say, I'm not sure about my limits. Can we just go slow and talk about the traffic light system? You know, just, especially as someone who's dominant, there is a lot of pressure to make sure the power and the control is on with them. And that's not fair as well. You can't just wait for them to say, so we're going to put pineapple in as the safe word. You have to talk about that as well and say, okay, if I say this term, let's stop, slow down. But it's about checking in. You don't want to go with somebody new. You don't want to dive in head first and do everything

crazy. You kind of want to build up, start slowly, test the waters, fight a little bit, but like, is that too hard? And how does that feel? You know, choke a little bit. How do you feel about fingers in your mouth? And if there's something specific that you want, like, oh, can you play with my nipples, but not too hard, then ask for it, request it. But it's about checking in with each other the entire way through, especially if it's the first time playing. It makes your first time, I would definitely say, tell them as well, especially if you are a newbie to kink and stuff. People need to know that information before they play with you.

Really set it all out. It's not a failure. It's not like, oh, you're inexperienced. It's exciting for somebody to bring you into that world. Everyone was new at some point. Yeah, and hold it as a badge of honour. I'm new to this. Show me everything.

Tell me everything. And somebody will get, I'm guaranteed that somebody, someone's going to have a kink for them as well let me teach you i have a friend who literally has a deflowering kink for women who have a lot that's amazing yeah and florence you spoken about your first experience going to a sex party on the podcast a little while ago and it was a very positive review have you gone back to sex party since is it something that's now become part of your sexual repertoire you know what i went to one one more afterwards and i kind of wish that I have been to more, but I think I've been in a place where I, I think I want a little bit

more from sex at the moment. The casual stuff isn't really giving me what I want. Yeah. Although having said that, I think I would get more out of a sex party setting than a one-night stand or a casual partner, because at least then I could go in with a very, like, a very particular purpose. Yeah, clear objects. Sex parties, everyone's on the same page. And people at sex parties are so friendly and so considerate and most of them, not all of them, most of them understand consent and boundaries. And so it is nice going into a space like that. Like people are so welcoming there. They want you to be involved and they want to talk to you about things. And it's just such a nice atmosphere. I would highly recommend if you go to a sex party, go with friends, go with somebody that you know,

go with a partner that you can play with. You don't have to be sexual with them. And also, yeah, the aftercare part is about checking in afterwards, is letting those few days run and maybe still chatting to them. Maybe it's not just about like the cuddling afterwards. It can be just doing the aftercare text. Like, hey, like we fucked a couple of days ago. How did that feel for you? Yeah. What did you like? What didn't you like? There's still so much I want to explore at its parties, I think. The second one I had a threesome and now I really want some group play. Because when I was there, I saw a really hot group situation happening. And I was like, I would love to be part of that.

Yeah, let's get involved. Also, you don't have to go and do anything that sex. You can just go and dance. And you can go and watch and go and chat to people. You do not have to fuck. Again, taking that pressure off yourself. You can do it for the last time. Because I think that's when you can put yourself into potentially complicated and

confusing situations when you're like, I've paid money to go here. I need to fuck. And then before you know, you're like, shit, was I really in the place for that? Yeah, I think that's such a good point. And Florence, I really like what you said just then about maybe actually getting more from sex parties than from a one-night stand because you want more from sex right now. And actually that's kind of where my head's at entirely. I find one-night stands at moment really unsatisfied. I know that the next person I have said, so I'm going to fall in love with you.

I'm literally, I got so much love to give right now. So I'm like really holding it in. Like there's going to be too much emotion that's going to come out. But I really want to have sex. Actually, maybe in the context of a sex party, that's where I could be, have my kind of very, like, physical. I don't know some degree emotional needs met with that. I mean, one night sounds for me just make me feel horrible. I feel like it's nothing but

rejection for me. That's how I interpret it. Or I hate the person, but not a good vibe. Like, I either like actively, I'm like, I hate you and never want to see you again or I feel totally rejected. I'm like, that is not a stable headspace to be having like, you know, casual interaction with people. So I, maybe my next time we chat, I'll just go on to my first sex. Yeah, yeah. Let's come with me.

I'm just, sorry, I'm so down. Okay. I'm so down. Okay. And whoever wrote in, if you want to come with us, come with us, dude. Right, I feel like we have, you have given so much amazing insight and agony aunt consoling to these wonderful, I think there's many women who opened at you this time. So really thank you.

I really appreciate it. We're going to end on one final question to round this up, which is what is the best piece of sex education you didn't learn in school? Oh, beautiful. I think learning about pleasure. Yeah, I was about to say, sex is not just about the male ejaculate. which is what we fucking like.

And it's not about getting STIs or getting pregnant. Yeah, it isn't about that. That's just fear and scariness that really happens. It's also okay to get an STI. You want to get an SDI. It's part of living. It's part of having fucking sex. And the anti-shaming, the judgment

that we give ourselves for not using protection or not being on the contraceptive pill. I think we've all been there where we're like, you didn't use protection. There's something inherently bad. It's like, fuck off. their body? Why are we judging what they choose to do with their body? You just

got to do you, man. And if it means getting an STI or getting... It's advice to give reason. I honestly feel like you've got to do it. You've got to do it. Obviously, pregnancy thing, I would not recommend that. Be sensible and be safe. But it's not

the end of the worst. I'm not saying to go to a sex party and fuck everything that moves. Be fucking sensible. Be sensible. And I always use... Try it and use... But if you get, or if it doesn't happen, don't guilt yourself because you didn't. I mean, I often, I always use protection, but sure happens, man. Sometimes the condom comes off and it's like you could have tried all of your might and tried so hard. And still, accidents fucking happen.

Accidents happen. What a way to end? Go and get messed with you. But yeah, pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. It's so simple and it's innate to us. And I always think that moment when I orgasm, I think, fuck, this is free.

Yeah, yeah. This is free. It's all the good mental health vibes. Oh, we need more pleasure. Invest in pleasure. Invest in pleasure. Learn more, do more, take more fun risks and see where your limits are. It's about living.

Well, we're going to sex party, so I can't wait. I am very excited. Thank you so much for my podcast. It has been absolute joy to talk to you both. Where can we find you online after this episode? Oh. You can find Come Curious at Come Curious on Instagram. Of course, we're Come Curious on the YouTube channel.

You can find a podcast. If you just type in Come Curious, it's called Fuxgiven, but that's quite difficult because the asterix is. So just search for Come Curious on all the podcast platforms as well. Amazing. And our personal accounts, sorry? I highly recommend it. Great podcast.

Oh, we have a Facebook. So if anybody listening to this wants to go to a sex party, we know that some of the people on the Facebook group actually meet up and go to sex parties together. But the curious fuckers are like finding their community, which is just so beautiful. So cute. And of course, like

on a personal basis, I'm Read Amber X Everywhere, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and OnlyFans. I have a foot fetish account and a main naughty account. Come subscribe. All the platforms. Amazing. Florence, what about you? And I'm at Florence Bark on Instagram.

Annoyingly, I'm not on Twitter. It's Florence underscore Bark on Twitter because someone took it. Oh, how fucking do I think? And my only fan is at Florence Curious. I'm like different for all of them, which does not help. And buy my book, which is called This book, will make you feel something. I want to feel something. Everyone going by the book.

This has been joyful. Thank you so much. Yay, thank you. Before we end the show, another quick reminder about today's podcast sponsor field. The date gap catering to whatever day. style you're into. If you want to spice up your summer all while supporting this podcast, then please do download the field app using the exclusive download code field.com forward slash sex talks, which you can also find in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening to today's

Sex Talks podcast with me, your host, Emma Louise Boynton. If you'd like to attend a live recording of the podcast, check out the Eventbrate link in the show notes as we have lots of exciting live events coming up. In the meantime, don't forget to submit whatever ad-dient question you'd like us to tackle on a future podcast episode via the Sextalks website. That's sextalks.co.uk. And finally, if you enjoyed the show, I hope you did. Please don't forget to rate, review and subscribe on whatever platform you're listening to this on, as apparently it helps others

to find us. Have a wonderful day. Thank you.