Sex With Emily - A Not So Awkward Sex Talk With My Mom

Episode Date: March 7, 2018

On today’s show, Emily is joined by KarenLee & Cam Poter, a super open, hilarious, and sex positive mother-son duo – hosts of the podcast Sex Talk With My Mom. The three talk about the benefits of owning your “cougar-ness,” how to let someone know you’re just not that into them – even if it’s only been one date, the evolution of straight men and their anal explorations, and the good ole’ casual sex debate. Emily even has an impromptu call with her own mom to find out more about her sexcapadaes. This show is as informative as it is hilarious! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Adam & Eve, Promescent, Intensity, Womanizer Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by Karen Lee and Camp Poeter, a super open, hilarious and sex-positive mother-son duo who hosts the Sex Talk with my mom podcast. We talk about the benefits of owning your cougarness, how to let someone know you're just not that into them even after one date, the evolution of straight men and their anal explorations, the good old casual sex debate, and there's even an impromptu call with my own mom to find out more about her sex debates. All this and more, thanks for listening! Best by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day.

Hey, Abelie, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, not only? What do you mean, like laundry?

It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I want to feel so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Abelie's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. So thanks everyone for listening to the show. And as you know, I love when you share your feedback

and I was really, really touched by a comment left on iTunes by IHeadly. It said this, whether you are still a virgin or not, this podcast is for you. It helps you become more comfortable with all things regarding sex and pleasure, so that your next sexual experience, whether it's your first or 50th by yourself or with a partner, you'll go in with more confidence and have a ball. No pun intended. Thank you, Emily and crew. Keep up the important and amazing work. So this just made me feel so great when I read this.

I was really touched when you guys post comments and let us know what you feel out at the show and I shared it with my team. And it truly just like made my day, made my week. So more importantly, thank you to all my listeners for supporting the show and for being here with me through this journey. I love hearing from you everywhere, so you can follow me on social, you can get more sex with Emily anytime you want it.

So follow me on all the places you'll go on social, it's at sex with Emily on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and Twitter and here's why. First of all, I'm always posting as soon as all the episodes are up, but also, if you've ever wondered what really happens to text with Emily, we've got some behind the scene stuff, we've got snippets from my life, and I just want to be your source of positivity and light throughout the day.

So I love hearing from you, and thanks for following me there. Ooh, ooh, Ah. Ooh. Oh, I have to tell you our March contest. It's here and it's all about ooze. We're actually doing an o's of March contest. You know those o. Moments, the aha moments, when you finally figured something out and just your whole world makes more sense, I'm sure you've had just a few of those in your sex and dating life. So what does that mean? Let me give you some examples of what it really means. So let's say you finally found the spot on your clitoris that makes you go insane.

Like when I told you about the clitoral legs and you're like, oh wow, there are legs. Or maybe you found those words, tell your partner exactly how you like to be touched. Or perhaps you discovered a brand new, a Rajnazone. Maybe you let your fingers do the walking and experience a prostate orgasm. Whatever it is, those aah, or those aah, or those aah moments, I want to hear from them. So you can send me your aah moments that change your life sexually, you're dating your relationship lives and send it to feedback at sex with Elmie.com by April 10th and we're going to pick four of you and you're going to win a super sexy prize that'll definitely have you going, oh, ah, all your luck.

I'm really excited for my guests today. I have Karen Lee and Campodor on the show. They are the host of Sex Talk with my mom. It's a great podcast. It's so fun to listen to and it's really fun to be a guest on it. We're excited to have you guys here today. So, welcome to the Sex with Emily podcast. Okay, so I want to know about how you guys started the podcast because for some people they're thinking, well, the last thing I want to do is talk about sex with my mom, with my mom actually in the room. So tell me about how this all came about. Because it works.

Thank you. It's so good. Thank you. Yeah, I love. Oh, we were always very open about talking about sex growing up. She happens to know a lot about sex, and she's not afraid to talk to anyone about it. And you've always been that way, right?

I actually have always been very comfortable talking about sex and always hanging with guys and talking about sex. My friends would take advantage of the situation and come over and ask them about their sex lives. What age did that start? Probably high school. I love it. There's no where else to go.

And I didn't even know what else to talk about. It was amazing. It was mom. You got to come over. It came mom. I, there's no where else to go and I didn't want to talk about it. It's a James Mom you gotta come It comes mom. Yeah, I gotta come over talk to your mom and we'd be up to like one two in the morning Just like sharing stories and especially when they came back from college and it was so fun because they like talk about when they Got their one day talked about when he hit his chest hair waxed and how painful it was and we were just like laughing and we'd hear about Three sums and okay the two sums two sums and two sums. Two sums? Two sums. If they were lucky, right?

Or a three-smilt they were lucky. Yeah. Do you remember what the questions were? Do you feel like they're different than they are, the kind of questions you get now? Totally. Yeah. Okay. In high school, I didn't lose my Virginia to college.

Right. So, in most of my friends, neither. So, we weren't talking about really explicit sex questions with their more like stories. But then what ended up happening was that when I was 17, my dad was murdered, and that was, that really flipped our worlds upside down, and brought us really close together. And you have two other siblings.

Right. You know, when it happened, I immediately grabbed him and I said, listen, this is the worst thing that could ever happen to us, but we are a strong family and we are always going to continue to be strong and we're going to move forward and we're going to get through this and we're going to make something happen. I didn't know I did. We're going to make a podcast about sex.

That's the thing that came later, right? Right. But I knew we were all going to be okay because that was, that was this easy focus. It was all going to be good. Right. God. I mean, that's just, yeah. Tragedy. I know we talked about this too, my dad died.

When I was 19, I think we were talking about this, we had to grow up, but there's nothing else you'd never prepared for this. And it is a tragedy, but what a leader you are, like, is a mom, like we're gonna get through it and you're a great one. All your kids have now moved to California and you're all together.

It's awesome. Which is amazing, yeah. It's the best. So taking that kind of tragedy, obviously, you look at the side of it and you're like, how does it bring you closer together? When you were living in Chicago at the time, actually. And...

Well, you eventually started dating again. Yes, I did. And it was like, okay, he ain't coming back. I'm going out in the dating world. Yeah, yeah. And did I realize at the time that most of the guys that was gonna date were younger guys? Eventually you decided to start your own YouTube channel.

Well, I looked around on YouTube and I was like, oh, I need to know, what is a girl? I was in my 40s, what do I do in my 40s? And most of that stuff out there are like 21 year old girls telling you, this is what you gotta do. You gotta play the rules and all the games. And I'm like, this is not helpful at all. Right.

You know, I'm a, you know, I've been married 24 years. I don't need to love some little whipper snack for telling me about her ideas of what sex is going to be going on. Exactly, don't text back. You're like, I'm going to find a nice guy to hang out with. What are you talking about, right? So you took it in your hands. I took it in my hands.

I'm like, I'm making my own YouTube channel. It's going to be called Love Encore. It's going to be women in their 40s. And you can do it. You know, Rob Rob, we're going to all'm making my own YouTube channel. It's going to be called Love Encore. It's going to be women in their 40s. You know, you know, Rob Rob, we're going to all like conquer the world. And this is what's going to happen. And I look at my demographics after like six months or a year, I all men. 18 to 34 year old guys looking for you. Look at you.

Right. Look at you. Like a milk. Yeah. They're like, that's reverse right now. It ended up being, I'm reinvented the word cooler. I said, this is a confident older, unique genuine assertive and racy woman, cooler.

I'd say that again, a confident older, unique genuine, assertive and racy woman. I love that definition of it. That is amazing. You talk about cool. Well, because Emily, you are a cool girl. I know. You need to, yes, and okay.

It's true. And it really doesn't have that much to do with dating younger as much as your spirit is younger. You know, just, and okay. It's real. And it really doesn't have that much to do with dating younger as much as your spirit as younger. You know, just, and no one thinks that. Lord knows I tried to fix you up with my son. That will do me. I know, I'm the son. He's 28 now.

And yeah, but right, you did. I get it. So anyway, the most, my audience were these younger guys. And most of the guys that, like, I found when I was out there, were younger guys. And just, you know, I just feel like younger guys have that joy to be. They still love women. They're not like Jayden,

they've had to be an all-emotion child support and they hate women. And that's what I would get a lot of these guys would sit me down and I don't want to spend 20 minutes talking about how the C, you know what, T, their wife is. That's a bad word. I've got it.

It's a C and X Tuesday wife that they had. I don't want to hear that. Okay. I don't want to hear that. I don't want to hear. Anyway, so I started this channel. It really took off as far as interviewing porn stars. I found that this sexual component was what people are guys who are really looking for. They really wanted to learn more about sex, and I'm open about it. It was a very different viewpoint.

So, meanwhile, how was that college? And you're Stanford studying public policy, right? Yes, nailed it. And when my mom told me about her starting YouTube channel, I was like, oh, this is a great idea. Like, of course, all these women are gonna be, are gonna get so much good advice. They're gonna learn how to date again.

And then I'm watching the videos come out and the titles are like, a Cougar's tips on penis size. And I'm like, what? That's what happened. I was looking for it. Right. But in the actuality. Then it was.

So then I started, I did stand up. So I was talking a lot about it in my stand up. Right. Yeah. I was like selling, she wrote a book called A Cougars Guide to getting your aspect out there. Right. So I would try to like, I was reading passages of that in my stand upsets.

Like one chapter was called release your inner stripper. So I would like go through the steps to release your inner stripper. So that's a tip, that right, okay. Yeah, and then, you know, eventually we were like, we should collaborate and we made a video and then it turned into this podcast. Okay, I like, that's, that's a really good start.

It's working. And you guys were doing it for over two years now? It was three. Over two years. A weekly sex talk with my mom. We have put so many diverse characters on the show too. A lot of them were his old lovers. You brought in your own lovers camp?

Like, I'm so close and so how was that? Very uncomfortable. Right. But I never liked your mom. I was like, here's what I do. You were saying, this is what was wrong with you. Like, you do a little therapy on it. I had a group on and one of his first dates.

I'm like, that is a no-no. No, group on. Did you show the group on? Or you could do it. You could kind of slide it to the waitress, but that's cool. It was, I think we talked about it beforehand. She ended up coming out to me during the date and she's been being less.

Oh, okay. So then the date, it was a topsi-turvy date anyways. Yeah, it was, it first, it was so excited about the date. Then it was at the group I had to utilize it. It wasn't at the best idea. And then he finds out that she's not even interested in him anyway, but she's awesome. Do you find that you guys, or on the show,

are you actually giving each other advice a lot? Like, do you think you're giving advice to your listeners? No. So how do you think, after a few years of doing the do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do my first job when I before I was on your show I always do my prop And this is and I'm just teasing you because I only I listen to a few shows But he can't leave it started talking I was like what you bit mom. I'm like no, no, no sex talk with my mom I want to hear about her threesome. Yeah, her talk. I'm like yelling at my podcast No, it's not I don't think it's as much me backing you away from talking about those subjects I think it's mainly that you feel like you don't want to share that. Am I right? It's interesting because I think there is a part that I'm comfortable

sharing all my past experience. I could talk about everything that's ever happened to me, including when I was locked out of a hotel room in my underpants. But I don't know if I told you that. I never heard that story. But the current situation of, I've been with the same guy for 10 years and that would be like uncomfortable to talk about, like as word, I guess what I got late last night camp, I just don't think it's appropriate, you know? And you've a good chance to missy, and I have to respect his privacy as well.

We don't even use his name, his name is D's on our show. And I've also found, I met him. Yeah, he's a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, and he'd like to say hello to you. Yeah, if he's told my say hello back, yeah, anyway. I'm in the family. I very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very sure you've experienced this. Absolutely, to bring, yeah, oh,

it's complicated to bring them onto the show. Right. It's a casual thing. You know, I, have you done anything? I did, I was dating, it's so funny these days, I was dating Guy a few years ago and we were like together and I brought him on the show. And it was, it was actually really fun.

I haven't listened to it in a while, but it turns out, I don't know, we're really good friends now and actually was gonna, I haven't even told my team this but he's gonna come in next week because we're having dinner. I'm like, you should come out of the office and like, maybe I should do a show or there was a really good friends now and actually was gonna I haven't even told my team this but he's gonna come in next week because we're having dinner. I'm like, you should come out of the office and like, maybe I should do a show. It was a really good friends now. Maybe I should do a show with him again. Like a wrap up. It's kind of funny. And I am mostly friends with all my exes. We're actually close and it'd be kind of interesting. I'd

love to have a mom and I would love to have a mom. But while it's happening, it's a little tricky. I find it in the moment. In the moment. Yeah. You don't know if you're gonna be together. So what happened? What happened with you and these experiences with the women? It's just mainly people that I haven't had that serious relationship with.

I had sex with one girl and then like a week later, she came on the podcast and we had very different experiences. And with these with me talking about this, with her. I think I heard this. I remember this because that is so interesting, just because especially with everything going on now, me too, we all men and women have very different experiences that don't necessarily end up in the newspaper, something bad, but you're just we literally, and we could be a conversation about where to go to dinner or how the sex

all went down that night. Totally. And it's fascinating. That's why you gotta keep talking. I was blown away that mean, can you tell me what was the difference? What was it? I was like, I didn't even care for the experience that much. I was like, oh, I feel like- You could have sent the sex back if it was a dish. You're like a monster. Yeah, and she was like, that was the best sex she's ever had.

And I was like, what? I mean, I'll take that, but that was not what I was expecting. I thought you would be equally dissatisfied with this experience. Okay, that's really interesting was not what I was expecting. I thought you would be equally dissatisfied with this experience. Okay, that's really interesting. And then mom was what? You're like, oh, I was amazed that this girl was so comfortable, just casual sex.

I went there to get laid and I got laid by God. God damn it. We were looking for different things. I'm inherently wanting more emotional spiritual sex Quotinqually spiritual sex, but she is always looking for like she mom no no she the check the The check yeah, she she just wanted to get off and so That no so Kim you're dating in her 20s right you're so you with someone now are you? Your dating stuff. So what have you found?

right? You're with someone now or you're dating still. So what have you found about the whole like hook up culture versus women being more sort of or wanting a commitment? What is going on out there with you now? What is it like? It's why we just interviewed two yesterday that was just exactly that subject. And then my follow up is has me to change any of that in the last few months. But first, that's interesting. The first question. The first question, I mean, I think I've always assumed that guys are supposed to want to have sex all the time. Women don't want to have casual sex. Right, it's like the biggest myth. Right, you have to kind of like con them

into having casual sex with you. By promising this like future relationship. Which is so not the case. Like yesterday we had, we talked to two girls who are just looking for casual sex. Like they really are, like that's all they want. That's all they want, because they're like, we know what we want in a relationship. We haven't been able to find out with guys out there right now.

So in the meantime, I would like to be sexually active and this is a find it. Okay. So if you want to hear what happens, you guys got to listen to the podcast. Okay, what's the name of the podcast? What's the name of the episode? Talk with mom? No, yeah, that, but this episode. This episode will be like list of the past. Okay, what's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past?

What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past?

What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past?

What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? What's the name of the past? I'm not that comes up sooner now doesn't it? Yeah, yeah, I'm actually in that situation right now where I Look at your mom's I thought mom knew everything Finding this out for the first time who is this? Yeah, this is a new I've we've been on two dates And I don't know exactly what she wants, but I don't want like a romantic relationship with her So I'm gonna have to I don't connect with her in that way.

Like I don't. Sexually or, we don't even know yet. We have not done anything besides kiss with this girl, but I can't see it becoming like a very romantic the situation. But why, I'm just wondering if you, You know when you connect with someone, It's chemistry.

It's not like she voted for Trump. No, no, no, no, it's the ex that thing that you can't describe. I don't really feel it. I wonder if she voted for Trump. No, no, no, no, it's the ex that thing that you can't describe. I'm like, I don't really feel it. I wonder if she listened if you were to listen. I just do the whole thing. Am I gonna delete that thing about the ex? I don't know.

It's fine. It's all good. It'll all be over by then. Exactly. I have to have this conversation with her and say, listen, I don't feel that. But if you want to, I'm attracted to you, if you're attracted to me, let's, you know, let's talk about it. I think that that is there is a certain amount of like

truth telling that's going on now that kind of that has to I think with casual dating and online dating. I think there is a lot of fatigue that's happening that we're just, there were swiping and we're getting so many matches. And that just to kind of why not say right away, I don't know when, even if you don't know what you want or right now I'm dating a few people, don't you think it's better just to kind of... Yeah, I liked when I was single, I'd like to go with the younger guys specifically because there was never going to be anything, no matter what happened, there's never going to be like, oh I'm going to be with this guy for the rest of my life, you know, because there's like a big age, I'm huge age, there was the huge age difference that you had.

How far did you go down? 20 years I think. 20 years. Okay. And so you're probably not 20 years. So that's how I'm trying to. No, that's a lot. I haven't done 20, but I've done like 10. No, I'm doing a math in my head that sounds like, no, it could be 20.

Here he comes looking, you go, not even having mom. No, I don't have a thing. He's like, it's so 20. But whatever it was, it was like easy because I'm like, okay, if I'm going to be with someone younger, I'm going to have a lot of fun. There's going to be, he's maybe looking just for fun and companionship and sex and a good time and that, there's no like, oh, we're going to end up having children in the applications and, you know, I'm going to get married and then why pick it first.

You don't have to worry about that. You're like, I've already done that. I already got married. And the guys, they don't need to either. Sometimes they're focusing on the career or they're traveling on that. They don't want that either. So it's like such a good relationship, the KUGRACUP relationship. It is. What is your advice for the KUGRACUP? I was going to go back to your book and people can still buy your book. Oh absolutely. It's on Amazon.

The KUGRACUP is going to get your ass back out there. It's on Amazon and Martin Sonoma. They should absolutely check it out. What is your top tip? If there's anything that we, yeah, confidence. It's a tip. Confidence. That's my top tip. Everyone's attracted anything that we, yeah. Confidence. Confidence. That's my top tip. Everyone's attracted to confidence, whether you're a man or a woman you're attracted to a confident person.

And nobody wants someone who has less, if there's a huge neediness and insecurity going on there, it's gotta be, you gotta fix your house first. Yeah, that's true. I gotcha. Okay, so it's over dating younger, and then just like we're saying here in any situation, you want to kind of establish where you're both at.

I've just not into playing games, so I want to know, are we moving in this direction? Are we not? Yeah. And can we keep it going? I think it requires a lot of emotional work because you got to be okay with making people uncomfortable. Yeah. I have to be okay with this girl feeling maybe rejection if she wanted to be more or she could I mean

I don't know there's a lot of risk. No, I get it. It's a being the pleaser. I'm such a pleaser too and I'm like it's it's terrifying and think that I it's so upsetting to think that I'm gonna like reject someone or I'm gonna make them feel bad and and and that You know, yeah, like it feels wrong to be honest about that and even talking to younger like my niece who's like, you know 18 She's like, I feel like I have to and I shouldn't say no because he's gonna feel that we all worry about that Midwest I don't know just When I went to school it wasn't like that. I went to school and I had a I don't think I had any relationship. I was always like into just Now you were going to school in the free loved is yeah, I was going to school when it was like you had we could have sex with one person

They have to do and have a different one at night and and nobody thought anything up We all changed partners after time We've already in the fraternity that sister brother We would not I mean it was no incess. I'm saying sister brother fraternities. I get it I know I got the I got the fret language But I but it's true the age in 90s then had like AIDS, and then we had all the protection, and we didn't have as much of that. I didn't have any AIDS.

I just was like, and then really not, man, not really much in terms of the veneral disease, and even we didn't wear condoms. We used all kinds of weird, we had, and it was, yeah, like, with end-care ovals, you just stick these little subacitories, and you're in there, it's supposed to be spermicide, or Lord, I don't know how I didn't end up getting pregnant. Oh, my God. Oh, right.

Well, except for with the right time, with three people, three kids, two, three lovely children who got pregnant. Thank you. I wasn't using it. Not at all. Not at all. Not at all. Not at all.

You're using what? They're called N-Care Oval. That's what they were. I kind of remember your little subacitories. Yeah. So that was more casual then. But I guess I think now it's just the whole thing about not knowing how to disappoint someone.

So even I'm getting all these questions, even from friends and from listeners, like what do you do if you go on a date with someone? Let's say it's one or two dates, maybe you kissed at the end of the date, but you're just not feeling the vibe. Yeah. Do you ghost? Or are you like, listen, I don't feel romantic connection. Like what do you think you do?

You don't ghost ever. Yeah, that's a sad and not nice thing to do. I think the, what helps me is to think like, this sounds very corny, but I'm like, the more loving thing, like if I were in the girl shoes, I would want her to say, hey, I'm not interested in you in you in this way. How would you want her to say it?

Maybe just like that. I'm not interested in that way. It was a really fun day. Just say it. Yeah, just fucking say it. Because all the time we said we waste obsessing over Issygan text back. Issy not what do you really mean by that? Just say it. Totally. Fuck ghost. I think guys are just... No, you're right. I do think it's guys. Guys, I was like, I want something black away. I want to know right away. You know, I don't want the girl to be like saying, it's not

you. It's me. And, you know and I'm still going back to my old boyfriend. Do you think that the guys want more direct from the women? I think they do. They do, and it's funny that you say that because I've had a lot of guy friends, actually last week I had a guy friend call me, and they're like, well let me comforts my buddy.

They did like a little therapy session, and they both had gotten text messages. From women they had met like on Bumble, and they each went on two to three. It was a very similar scenario and both the women had sent and they really liked them. They thought they did after two days. There was no sex but I think it was like a make out

and then they set the woman, both girls and a text, something the effect of. It was really funny to you. My life is so busy right now, but life's crazy but I'll circle back if I have more time. It's like, and then they were like, what do you think they mean? Like do you think that that means I should I follow up in a week?

Or did you think I'm like, put a fork in it. Exactly. I'm like, I think that it's pretty much what they're saying to like, but why wouldn't she just say she's not into me? I'm like, in a way, they're saying that. Or maybe it's true, but even if it's true, she's just not that into enough right now to make sacrifices her life to be there.

So all you know is you, it doesn't matter what it means at analyzing it, they're not available to you now. Move on. It is hard in person to say it. It's much easier over the phone. Yeah. So like I would be like on a date and the guy would be like, I actually had my son call me and had said, you got to pick me up and take me back

I from the house who was staying at so I go and we pick with the guy and I pick up my son and And he drops us off and he says can I ask you out again? And I'm like, yeah, yeah sure call me right so I ended up First of all my son said it's more like old people in the car So like mom, what happened to the cookers? people in the car. So, you're like, mom, what happened to the cougar? You're a cougar. You're like, man, the cougar. It smells like Ben Gay.

It smells like old people in the car. But anyway, it turns out I'm thinking myself, what do I do? So the guy causing me, do you want to go out again? I thought it was really good. I'm like, yeah, you know, just, it's not working out. But I do have a girlfriend. And he goes, is, I've been blown off 13 times.

And the last 14 dates. Oh my God. This is like the worst one I've ever gotten. But I'll take the last 14 dates. Oh my God. This is like the worst one I've ever gotten, but I'll take the girl's number. Oh my God. Well, that's a nice offering, right? There you go. But that's a really interesting point

because I had a 13 dates in a row. I did the same thing. I went out with some guy and I said to him, and I'm really proud of myself, because I think back in the day, I would wait a few days or I'd say, I am busy right now. And I was just like, right after the date,

he said, let's go out again. I said, I gotta be honest, I wasn't feeling it, but it was so nice meeting you. And he's like, well, thanks for telling me. I had a feeling when we were walking to the car. And then he said, but I know that you're an expert. I'd love to talk to you and know what I could have done differently and know what I could,

what do you have any advice for me? Because I'm thinking you're guy with the 13 rejections that kind of have all. Why would anybody tell that you want me? You don't tell me that you've been rejected 13 times Because what I find him to be I'm not the diamond in the rough here That's gonna because that's a diamond rough. I'm gonna pull out yeah, right. Well, that's probably starting with one thing Like you don't have to share that with everybody But I just I was like that's a really because what if we could get some kind of like play-by-play after and be like okay

Are we strong enough our ego's big enough take it? Like, I want to know why you go sit or didn't call or didn't work. That's what we're experiencing to be experimented with. Yeah, I'm sure. And which of my mom next to me? I love that. So, you're, this is a serial like a segment. Like, what went wrong? We have done a number of these.

He would bring out a lot of, even to college, in this, like, five, six years later that the date was and will bring on a girl and she'll college in this like five six years later that the date was and we'll bring on a girl And she'll tell him exactly what was going on What kind of information you might can we replay it? Well kind of information if we got another any good themes here that you've learned mix messages I think that they didn't really know that cam was even interested Oh, yeah, that's a big one. Yeah, okay, but then also it might Now you're doubting it. No, well sometimes I think I might use that as an excuse for just not wanting to say,

yeah, I'm not into you. And so then she's like, Oh, I didn't realize that there could have been a positive. Yeah, but one of them was like, you were really weren't there. I remember. Who are you talking about? Amber. Okay. So in this situation, I was very into her. And came out of the podcast and was like, no, I just want to be friends. Okay. And then she gave like a little, it was a day after our date, for two days after our date. And I'm like, okay, getting friends owned.

Right. Right here, right now. Right. And then she said she left the door open a little bit. And would she say to you like, well, I'm not, I know, I'm not saying it's completely out of the picture. Because we all want to keep our options open. Right.

Right. Right. Right. We do do that. The other thing I was thinking about is that one thing that concerns me is when to have this discussion. Okay, right. After two dates, is that, does that merit this type of discussion? Maybe she's not even thinking about it at all, potentially leading to a relationship. Right.

Maybe I'm over-analysing. It's so interesting, because when do you have these discussions? Because there is that whole, if you're like I'm just seeing you as a friend We're like we just got to know each other like how do you even know yet after one day? I think you know after five seconds. Yeah, you do right. I feel like I see I would like to say that But I feel like I have had people sort of grow I say they grow on me In many ways, but um, it's more like, perhaps I had judgments or I thought that they were a certain way

after one day, maybe they weren't. And if I was interested enough, I might give it a second date just to check it. And sometimes I'm wrong. Like I've been wrong that it's, and then I actually liked it more than I thought. But having that talk, it's more like, I don't think that's when you would say like,

I wasn't into because I thought you were cheap and you didn't pay the bill or whatever, because that's, or I thought you were an asshole. But it's more like, I think it's okay to say, these are the kind of things I think that you could say early on, is that what you're looking for. I'm actually casually dating a bunch of people right now or a few people right now, and I want you to know that, or you could let them know that, I guess I didn't really feel a romantic connection if you didn't. I think you could say that after or you could let them know that, I guess I didn't really feel a romantic connection if you didn't.

I think you could say that after the first or second date, if you don't want to keep just playing texting tag or whatever it's called, right? Yeah, and what do you think? I remember like, you just know. I knew you know what you don't want immediately. Like, it was just like, the guy walked in, he looked like he's got a Beatles haircut.

He's got, it was, you know, there's, if you're just not attracted to someone, yeah, that I know, that I can tell right away, but there's some people that I'm like, If they're borderline, give me a second chance. I don't like the Beatles haircut. I see. We all like something different. Not attractive at all. How has your sex life like changed it all doing this show?

Because you probably have a much bigger spotlight on it. And you're also thinking, I have to tell my mother in the morning. Right, yeah. But for both of you, or even just over time, anything you've noticed, how you've become more powered or asking for things or turn on by things you didn't know before. Well, I knew very little about sex before this. I mean, it's like just through what I experienced.

Right. Which was limited. Right. And so through this podcast, we've talked to so many people, and I've learned about BDSM, I've talked anal play, these are things I would never have even considered in the past. And now I'm like, oh yeah, let's try it out, we'll see where it goes. Right, okay, the anal are talking about it.

I haven't tried anal play yet. Okay, this is the newest endeavor that I'm, we're trying to figure out. Okay, I'm just got some really good ideas for the future of anal. If you tell me about the future of anal, anal is huge. I can feel it. 2017 was the year of anal. Tell me about the future of anal. anal is huge. I am confused. 2017 was the year of analicking. Oh really? Yeah, it was another people were really into analicking.

It just was, you know, I do these live streams Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and it's a constant theme. Right? I do love anal. How do I get my wife to do anal? How do I get her to do anal? anal, anal, anal. Am I gay if I do anal?

Am I? It is. We know it's a new black. That's it. Right. So Kim, I came up with this great idea. Well, I mean, it is. It is. It's the new black. That's it. So, Kim, I'm came up with this great idea. Well, I am convinced. I am convinced. I'm convinced that I think anal play is going to become much more popular.

First straight men, moving forward. Yes. Because they're going to be, yeah, prostate play. Not just having anal sex with a woman, but just men who are. Right. Your own anal penis. Yes, they should. Just like grooming at first, start out in the gay sex. You're own anal sex. Yes, they should. Just like grooming at first and start out in the gay community.

Now it's spilled over into the... Right, just like grooming. Exactly, just like grooming from the gay community. We are now also taking on anal sex for straight men. No, I will say, I don't mean you're anal, though. I'm not. Are you bleaching your ass? No, mother, I'm not bleaching my ass well.

Not yet. We're open. We're bleaching my ass well. Not yet. Not yet. We're open. We're cool. Yeah. Everything goes well. I think people grow more comfortable with the fluid sexuality that it's not so taboo to this will become more popular. I think guys are becoming.

What about your idea? What is my idea? Your prostate massager. Oh, I think we should have a prostate massager from that. I have one of my closet for you before you leave. You can't really right there. So I have now to even had a finger in my butt. So it's fun.

I think that's the first start. Yeah, I think the prostate massager is very degraded in it now. Or do you, well, or you could do it in your own? I think you're right. Actually, that's kind of an evolution of anal is that I believe that what I've noticed, because after doing this for so long, you know, we get 13 years of emails and questions that there has been a trend that it's just in the last year or so

that because I've always said, hey, it doesn't make you gay and explored and like, it's the male G spot and you guys go exploring, why not? They just get that idea from them. I mean, like, why do you feel that way? I've been studying because I know it. I know that person. Because I know it personally and I know it just because it's true because the reason why

men aren't doing it straight men is because they get to make some gay society telling them it's for exiting not for entering that it'll make it's a million different things but I'm telling them that like nine out of ten men or like who have tried and done it correctly are like oh my god that was the most explosive amazing orgasm I've ever had. And I can't believe I didn't know and it's like a whole thing and they're like, forget stigmas, forget the whole thing. But I'm just realizing in the last year that we actually, it used to be me suggesting it

and even women would be like, I kind of want to try it. And now single third straight man are saying, I'm ready. I want to do it. So I think you're right that it's turning. It's turning. It's turning, I mean, if you're promised an orgasm that's three to 10 times stronger than a penis orgasm, why the hell wouldn't you do it? Suck it up.

Who gives a shit if you look at it for a second? Yeah, suck it up, this is very exactly. You do not, right? I'm surprised men didn't get on the sooner, but like, what are they doing? An orgasm that's even stronger than this orgasm that you're obsessed with already? Yeah, it's what I'm saying. Because men are they doing? An orgasm that's even stronger than this orgasm that you're obsessed with already. Yeah, it's what I'm saying.

Because men are like, one and a half, let's get, you know, they don't have a lot of patients, they just want to do something really quick. And if you do this whole prostate thing, it's going to, it takes a little while. It does. It takes 20 minutes. It's going to take 20 minutes. Yeah, it's a thing. So exploring during masturbation or like, I have some great analogue. You can take home with you. We're going to walk out of here with all you all of the all the things

True, it's been known to happen. I think you're right. I think it's exploration the guys can do another own other partners can help them along So this is theoretical for me right now by theory it sounds very good and you'll hear on our package What it happens? Updates. We're gonna get a blow my blow But it's a great place to start so just get to give advice to everybody, this is that you really don't want to start with like putting a finger all the way in, but you want to start with use lots of lube and just there's so many nerve endings

right outside the anus, who just take your finger and you can kind of massage outside of it. And then maybe when you're masturbating, you could put a finger in the side of the pinky. And this is for women too, by the way. Yes, women should be, you shouldn't just know shudds, but it might be nice to take a gander,

take your back door. But is it as pleasurable for women if they don't have a prostate? For many women, it is. Yeah, for a lot of women, it can be very, very pleasurable. You know, a lot of women can have orgasms that way, or it's just different sensations. There's so many nerve endings. Yeah, right.

It feels so good. It's not the guarantee, like, oh my God, for men that pretty much you're gonna have a killer orgasm. It's a guarantee. Oh, yeah, I shouldn't say guarantee, but it's more likely that it's going to feel amazing. Why don't you ask guarantee? She's going to ask you for all those toys back. I don't want to be careful. I don't want them back.

But no, it's pretty much like if you do it, it's going to feel with a finger or just even your partner doing it or even just, you know, the taint still pushing. You know, the whole thing is people like what's naughty and what's dirty and what they're not supposed to do. And this is kind of like, I mean, I was into this play, you know, play one, oh, here we go. Good, tell me with Cam's dad.

I mean, oh no, okay. So this is being a field, I've never heard of this. Not on him, on me. I was like, you know, not a big deal. But I didn't know that he was, I think it wasn't anal sex, which is anal finger play, okay? I liked it. I love that shit.

Right. It's good. No, it's so, because right, it's the finger. Nothing to do. Shit. It was not part of that. Right. Wait, what wasn't this shit?

I can't say. I love that shit. No, there wasn't a shit. It can't be, and it's sex is messy. I'm just saying it's a wash-in. I can't be. It's sex is messy. I'm just saying if there was, it can be. It's messy, beautiful. Okay.

So you like the little, right, a little finger, right? It's fine with some blue. It feels great for men and for women. Dicks, but why not? Our bodies have such a limited capacity for pleasure that why not take a visit to all the different offices? Yeah. See what happens.

I was told you a day was it's a lovely thing. That's on love. Do you know this was a boundary? We never talked about this on our show. Okay. Because every time it was brought up, you would say, I don't wanna talk about that. So this is a part of me.

So you guys are breaking through. This is a breakthrough. You asked for it, Emily, you got it. I did, I love it. So you've never talked about sex with his father before. No, I talked about plenty of sex. Okay. No, just an anal.

That's not an anal. Anal from her perspective. Yeah, right. He's heard enough about it. He can tell you stories. And what about now though, an anal. That's not anal. Right, anal from her perspective. Yeah, right. He's heard enough about it. He can tell you stories. And what about now though, an anal? Are you friends? You like it?

Yeah, actually, I still, I'm still discovering different things with it, you know, with my boyfriend and I, but we don't like to talk about personal stuff. Right, no, I get it. Okay, but it's... Would it be weird for you to talk about anal with your mom? Like ask her if she's. No, my mom is very much, my mom's really open about sex.

I actually have never asked her that and I actually kind of want to call her right now. That's right, let's do it. Oh my God, my mom. My mom is amazing. I want to meet your mom. Oh my God. Hi, Emily.

Hi, mom. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. Where are you busy? No, I could talk to you for a couple of minutes. I'm just waiting to be picked up to go off for dinner. Okay, I'm on my podcast right now and I have this amazing. I have there's a podcast called Sex Talk With My Mom Keringly and Cam and they're on my podcast. They have a sex podcast where they talk about sex not about each other

But they give advice and their mom and mom. Hi mom. Hi mom. It's mom. Hi. Hi ladies. So you're on and man. I'll tell you. It's what they're done. I have a question about anal sex. Oh, yeah. Is it something that you've ever experimented with? I'm not really answering this question. I love your mom. That's OK, you don't have to. Is there any other side? You know, it's boundary crossing.

Boundaries? I got it. Anything you want to share at all? That is about the exact same. Not really. OK. The card is for you. Sorry, mom.

You've caught me on a weird side. I'm OK. Here's my question. Okay, the card is for mom. You start to call me out of where's I, you know. Okay, here's my question. Is anal play, even as on your life, was anal sex ever a thing 20 years ago? Did it come out? I mean, it's something that people talked about. It's not anything that was popular.

So the stance, what you mean? It's for why she's uncomfortable. Why is it make you uncomfortable to talk about anal? No, it's okay. My right is here, though. I know. Okay, love you, mom. It's why she's uncomfortable. Why is it make you uncomfortable talk about you know? Okay, love you mom. I'll see you later. Bye. Don't be mad. Oh My god That is so perfect The best talk with my mom I've ever I wanted to like do sex talk with my mom makes me yeah Yeah, that's so amazing.

She had the same response you did when we brought it up. Yeah. That was your response. Yeah. Until today. I didn't actually say, oh, but I felt, I felt, oh, but I mean, as long as it's not like going into graphic detail, I'm on, I'm on. But this is your job to you're educating people on your podcast.

It's like, right. Yeah. And it's just, for whatever reason, it's weird when you talk to your kids about something that private. Yeah. But again, what we all want is, again, it is, but why not make it more open and be like, it's like talk you would talk about,

if you were to the dentist and something and it happened in this gums. I know it's very different, but it shouldn't be, because it's our sexual health and it's about pleasure. And what if he was doing it wrong? And I don't know. I just think that a lot of bad first time, anal experiences or different expectations,

but I love things just opened up. It's a big moment. My mom shut down, you open up. Yeah. I think by not talking about it, it makes it, even though, yes, it makes it taboo. Like something is wrong with it.

And then there's all the shame associated with it. And you know, it creates all these barriers That said, I mean maybe those barriers are good. I don't know. I mean, I think it's great that you guys do handle those It has a lot to do with cam's comfort level though. I can sense his kind of a shit if you talk about you know But you might have six months ago. Yeah, that's true. That might be true. Yeah, you guys have done Like therapy with the two of you. It is right? It totally is You work on a lot with about. And you asked about if we share and we do, we do help each other.

Like, you know, maybe not specifically about sex, but like relationship advice and things like that. We'll bounce things off of each other because we, you know, we work so intensely together. So we're able to talk about stuff more openly. The hard dance our goal for our podcast. Tell me what's the goal. It's really to make people more open with each other. It doesn't, if it's a coworker,

it's a parent, or if it's a child, or if it's a friend, we want everyone to be able to discuss stuff and talk about it openly, because that's where the problem is begin when you don't talk about it. It's so true. That's why there's a lot of rape and things won't miscommunication,

things like that, because people don't share, but people don't talk. Right. Parents will talk about it to their kids. As soon as I think the kids don't actually want to hear about it from their parents, so I've been trying to think about what would be the best way

to educate kids, say, but someone has to talk about it in a very healthy, open way. So you can talk about other people's kids, maybe, but on your kid, obviously, it works. I haven't talked to a lot of people. I love it. I haven't heard a lot of kids because of this. No, but that's things.

See, it worked. I think the kids want in a group where they feel safe. So his friends, you know, but like I think one, I know, it's just gonna be harder for parents, but I think what your podcast is also demonstrating that like a mother and son could have this relationship and it's healthy and it works. So I love that it's setting that up, that example.

But what were you just gonna say? And then we're gonna be going to be on to emails, which I'm excited about. I was just gonna say that it's a lot harder than I thought it would be to actually have these conversations Because to have your mom involved with your sex life For some reason you don't want to necessarily Express sexuality when you're around your parents

Right and because of I don't know I don't know if it's shame or if it's it's just a really hard thing to do I get I get that yeah, it's like we don't want to think about our parents as sexual. You don't want to. Right. And you know, we were interviewing this girl and she's like, I love the fact that my parents were always like hugging, kissing and showing affection. Right. That's still that sex.

And, you know. Right. Right. At least she saw how they like to miss it. And making out and grabbing each other's ass or whatever. Right. You know, that's a different sexual thing. That is a different thing.

But I think it's great when I think when parents demonstrate intimacy and touch and front of their parents, that kind of touch. Not like anal touching. You guys are awesome. I mean, I, yeah, care and lean cam, sex talk with my mom, such a fun podcast. I want to ask you guys, well, first,

I have a few rapid fire questions that we ask all of our guests. And then I want you guys to answer some emails and help me give advice. Let's do it. Let's do it. Okay, ready. We'll go back and forth. Okay. Okay. Your biggest turn on. Carefully confidence. Cam. I think if I see her turn down. Not my mom. That's weird. No, I was just pointing the person. The person'm looking up with She's turned on I get turned on love it. He's such a sense. He's such a good. He is he's a Pisces I know. Oh, is that what is okay biggest turn off?

Being a dick. I'm sorry if someone's a dick. It's a big turn off to me Yeah, I think if the person is not being present with me that's a super big turn off. Okay, crazy is place you've ever gotten busy Me oh Okay. Crazyest place you've ever gotten busy. Mm-hmm. Me? Oh. I think West IJ is. Where do I begin? Not probably a fire escape. Awesome. I got the poll or just the... Like, that's in your own land, yeah. And weirdly enough, that was not the guys first time

experienced on the fire escape either. So that's strange. Okay, it's a good one. Okay. I don't think any crazy place, but like I'm just like on a lot of different levels of the room. Like what? Like on the window sill to the bed to the top. Yeah, yeah, there were like a lot of levels at one night. Okay.

Okay. Tell me one thing you want to try sexually that you haven't yet, if there's anything or that you're excited about. We are, you know, can't answer. We already got the answer. That one, don't wait. I literally need you to call me, you're texting. You got to tell me the five, seven, five, I asked for a text.

I'm not, I'm, I'm, I'm, I know you've done. I know this is, I've pretty much done it. No, I actually have not. I have never had like a manager to I don't know that I want to though you there. It's weird because I've always like thought about it, but I don't think I've ever, I don't think I really want to do it.

It's weird. Right. And you're in, well, did you have a post about it? I have a three-savvily. Right. I get it, having one. Okay, but maybe it's a bucket it, it's weird. Right, and you're in it. Well, did you have a post about it? I have a three-starvally. Right, right, I get it, having one. Okay, but maybe it's a bucket list if it comes around. I don't know, maybe you can be on a porn shoot if they had even counts as a sexual something, I don't know.

Yeah, oh, being on a porn shoot. Oh, I mean, I'd like to watch a porn shoot. Oh yeah, we can make that happen. Oh yeah, I know. I don't find it. Okay, that was good, okay, you guys, thank you very much. We're gonna take a quick break, shout out to our sponsors, and then we are gonna do some emails. We're right back.

And now we're on to emails. Do you have a question you'd like Emily to answer on the show? I love that. We've made it very easy for you to ask her a question. Use the option that's easiest for you. Number one, you can text. This is a very personal way of getting in touch with Emily. Just text Ask Emily, all one word, to 7979-7979. That's Ask Emily, ASK-EMILY, to the number 7979-7979. This is a very easy number to remember. You can do it right now. Your normal message and data rates may apply.

You'll receive a short form where you can enter your question and contact details. If you'd like her to call you during a future caller show, please indicate yes on the form. You can also submit a question from the sexwithemily.com website via AskEmilyTab. She loves it when you include information that will help her, you know, your gender, your age where you live, how you listen to the show, you know, basic information. And that's it. It's very easy. Just go ahead and do it. She can't wait. I'm so glad. Okay, so this is from Gen. Age 26, New York. Emily, recently I heard you talk about a toxic friends with benefit situation, but I want to ask for your advice about a healthy one. I started seeing this guy about two years ago, and since then, I see him every week or two,

and we've gone up to a few months without seeing each other. The sex is great, he loves pleasing me, and we still try new things and keep it interesting. It's been a very comfortable, low pressure hookup, which is why it's gone on for so long. However, I don't see myself ever dating this guy since I don't have romantic feelings towards him. Someday, I want to fall in love

and be in a monogamous relationship. I'm wondering if I should end things with my FWB because I sort of feel like I'm using him until something better comes along or is it silly to end a great source of sex if it's not exclusive and I can still meet other people. Thanks for all you do. It's Jen 26. Jen Jen. Yeah.

This is an easy one, Jen. Oh, okay. Cuz I was thinking like yeah She's got it if she knows she wants something else. It's gonna take up I think my okay my opinion is if she already knows that gonna go anywhere and sex is great But she wants a long-term relationship She's got to cut it because that sex is taking up space in her brain her life her time It she won't be able to track to end someone new oh magical life changing heart of tidying up over here

Yeah exactly out of it's not sparking joy. No, I'm going the other way. OK, good. Every couple months or something, it's not going to take up too much of an emotional space or whatever. And she could always end it because I've been in those situations. I've been in those situations. They work.

They sex with once every few months is perfect. You get it on, you get all the taxes released, and then you go back to pursuing other outlets. I think she's got a good situation. Don't blow that off, because you don't know how long it can be before she finds another relationship. I hear it want the sex. She likes the sex. And she said, she says I've seen him every week or two, so I guess if she could space that, yeah, that's a really good point. Make it want some month if it's really bothering her. I think either way she should have the conversation with the guy and say, hey, this is where I good point. That's a really good point. That's a really bothering her. Right. I think either way, she should have the conversation with the guy and say, hey, this is where I'm

at, by the way. We haven't had that formal conversation. Let's have that. Right, because it sounds like it's working because they're both on the same page. I don't know if she said we're on the same page. Yeah, well, she's interesting because she's like, it's actually really healthy. I'm having great sex. So now I'm here, I'm here saying, yeah, I could see that if it's like once a month, because

I've had guys who are like, they fly in or they come through town once a month, and I literally have no connection, but great sex. But not something. I totally have no connection. I totally got that on my mind. So I hear what you're saying, but I just feel like 26, she really wants something, it's still taking up space. Okay. Probably if she's texting, texting. Okay, this is good. I love the point, counter point. Do you think. I love the reading. Yeah. Do you think that she can be having great sex with him if she doesn't have that intimate emotional question? That is a good question. Well, it depends how you define great sex. And she might not to

her might be like, it's really hot. I'm having amazing orgasms. He's sweet. And that's how you define great sex. But for others, it could maybe she's never even had really intimate sex. Yeah. So some people have never even had that. So this is what I'm talking about. And but that doesn't even say that it's for superior. Some people might just really like, I don't know.

Yeah, it's not as emotionally involved. That might even be a turn on for some people. Yeah, exactly. So that for her could be total. But I know what you're saying. Like for me, like, I don't know, because I've had a great wild sex in the night, and then I've had this emotionally staring

into each other's eyes, connect sex to, and they're all great. Yeah. So I also find that I can take more risks, though, with someone who I'm really, I trust. Right. Well, that is, but if you're only, she's having a good time. Right. Right.

It's not hard to find. It is hard to find. It is hard to find. What is it? Good man is hard to find. Hard man is even better. I don't know. That was Maywest. I don't know. Okay. This is Emily, age 21 in Florida. Hi, Emily. I'm a 21-year-old female and I've always been attracted to guys almost double my age. I've dated men my age, but I do not feel the same sentiment like when I'm with an older man. My father has always been there for me, so it's not like I need a father type figure in my life. Do you think this is normal or something I will grow out of? Thanks for your insight. That's all we got there.

So that is a big age difference, 20 years. And a young girl at 21, and her 25 year brain is not developed. She's not developed yet. And so my only concern is like, I think she's experimenting now. And they're probably even if she's a very healthy relationship with her dad, there just might be some nurturing. It's really a track to view the man who is like power

and can nurture, take care of you. But again, for long term, I just, the statistics, everything shows. It's just, they work, they have nothing in common. And it's just, it's different worlds. It really is two generations apart, not one. And someone who from most cookers, I have to say, that doesn't sound like a good call.

I'm saying, you know, for whatever reason, it just strikes me as that there's something else going on there. She's not saying the same kind of things that I hear young guys say, why they're attracted to older women. Well, what do you hear from the young guys? The young guys are attracted to older women,

mainly for not just sex, it's just like the freedom, the independence, they love the experience and older women can provide sexually and just like the independence and confidence and all that kind of stuff. Right. That's what, yeah, you have this stability and all that, but they're not looking like for like someone to take care of them, because they know they're not, that's not going to have a- But she's saying she has a traction, like it's chemistry.

Yeah. I don't know. I always-standard. I guess it is double-standard I think so too. I mean in a way as long as it's healthy It's a tricky one because it is you hear this the Cougar thing we're going off on that But it's okay for her to go out these guys and experiment But I would also like her to kind of challenge herself to see if she can find some one in their 20s yeah Yeah, I would say her question is it normal? I don't know if question is it normal? I don't know if there is any normal,

you know, when it comes to sex. If this is what you're trying to do, this is what you're trying to do. But I think there is some unpacking to do there. Like why this is the case? I mean, clearly it sounds like she has been trying to unpack some, if she says she recognizes her relationship with her father is fine.

But there is, maybe there is something else there that you're looking for. Right. Yeah, daddy, daddy, daddy, she's. I don't know, yeah, as long as it's like healthy, but I would just say that again, at 21, you don't know what, I don't know what I wanted at 21. Yeah.

What was she doing? She just was sexually into that. She's attracted to him right now. I think if you're attracted to this, fine. Go for it. Yeah. I don't think it's exactly, go for it, but I don't know, I wouldn't like move in with someone sort of having children right fine, go for it. Yeah, yeah. I don't think it's exactly go for it, but I don't know, I wouldn't like move in

with someone sort of having children right now. That's what I said. Totally. But have some sex, have some fun. Sometimes we get the question, you know, would you feel uncomfortable, Cam, if your mom started dating someone your age, you know, and, and, and, fuck yeah, if you all have time.

It would be really uncomfortable. And I really thought a lot about this because the person I was speaking with was like adamant that it wouldn't be weird. And I was like, no, I still, it part of me would judge my mom for being with someone who I think is in such a different phase of life

and like doesn't have that awareness that I would hope she'd be with. What a metaphor was just sex though. And it was just sex. I totally fine with it. Just don't tell me at all. Just don't tell me. This is something where you don't want to know. And hopefully it wouldn't not be with one of my

friends. It would never. That's disrespectful. That boundaries. That boundaries. What about distant friends? No. Quaintances. Facebook friend, but you never read on the real life. Okay. You guys are awesome. This was so fun. I love having you here. Sex talk with my mom, Cam and Karen Lee. Where can people, what's new and come out? Tell me everything. Well, we have an episode we're about to release actually the day that this episode airs. Oh, perfect.

If you go there now, you'll be able to hear our episode or a clip of it with Emily. Oh, I love that. It's a perfect episode. It's amazing. I love being on your show. We'll be teasing out your favorite lines that we got out of our interview.

Oh, good. All the highlights we have with our favorite sex educators, but you're one of them. But if you want to find us, we are on iTunes and just search sex talk with my mom. Right? And sex talk with my mom on social. We'll have this all in the show. We'll have this all in the show. We'll have this all in the show.

We'll have this all in the show. We'll have this all in the show. We'll have this all in the show. We'll have this all in the show. We'll have this all in the show. We'll have this all in the show. We'll have this all in the show. We'll have this all in the show. We'll have this all in the show. We'll have this all in the show. We'll have this all. I love it and we'll see you soon. Thanks. Very fun.

Bye. Okay everyone, thanks for listening to the show. God, I love sex talk with my mom. Please check out their podcasts. Karen Lee and Cam are amazing. And thank you everyone for listening. Thank you to my amazing team. Thank you to Ken, Jamie, our volunteer Sharon and Jenny,

producer, Lark, Sybil, and Michael. Thank you so much for listening. Was it good for you? Text Ask Emily to 7979. 7979.