Sex With Emily - A (Porn) Star is Born: A Mash-Up

Episode Date: April 10, 2019

On today’s show, Emily is bringing you a mash-up of some of her favorite interviews with different stars in the Adult Industry – that’s right – Porn Stars! She covers everything from all the Oral Sex tips – from someone who likes to give fellatio AND cunnilingus, what it really means to explore polyamory and non-monogamy, and what it’s like to be in the adult industry and the differences between on and off screen sex. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Woo More Play, Calex Jopen, SiriusXM, Apex For more info on the people in the show, click HERE. Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm bringing you a mash-up of some of my favorite interviews with different stars in the adult industry. That's right, porn stars, topics include all the oral sex tips from someone who likes to give Felatio and Kondolinguis. Would it really mean to explore polyamory and nominogamy? Porn, what it's like to be in the adult industry and the differences between on and off screen sex. And the art of creating a threesome. Because there is an art to it. All this and more, thanks for listening. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a fight on me

Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kinda cute The girls gotta understand, oh my The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common, what do you mean like laundry? It's drinks? And we not talk about sex so much Are you kidding me?

Oh my god, I want to feel so drunk Being bad feels pretty good You know, Evelyn is not the kind of girl you just play with Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything you be doing. For more information check out sexwithemily.com.

You can also subscribe to the podcast. God, they're showing a place to listen right now. As you know, we love when you subscribe. And you can also catch me money through Friday from 5 to 7 pm Pacific on Series XM Radio. Stars 109 for even more awesome sex talk calls all the things you can get a free subscription. Try it out. SexMly.com slash SXM as always all social media.

It's at sex with Emily across the board. And I hope you guys enjoy this mashup show. I sure had fun recording it. Oh, we've got Skin Diamond here. Hello. Hi, Skin Diamond. She is so sexy and beautiful and skin diamond. I actually, I first met you at the X-Biz Awards.

Yes. But I've known about you because you were also at AVN Awards and you won, like, what didn't you win? So she's a porn star and nude model born in the United States raised in Scotland And you won this year. Okay, so you 12 you've been nominated for 12 avian awards. Mm-hmm six ex-biz awards five urban ex awards ex-biz best supporting actress surprise, female performer of the year. So okay, skin diamond, beautiful woman.

I always hate to ask women, bisexuals, women, who've been with a lot of women, what you find, like, is there anything when you hook up with women, any good tips that you have, like oral sex tips about going down a woman. I feel like women know best. Oral sex tips, I think taking it slow, lots of teasing, not like kissing around the pussy. And because then it's like biting the inside, like just little nibbles and stuff. And just taking things really slowly,

like it's not a race, can take it time to explore if You know you're doing something and she makes a noise then keep doing it going with the noise That's a good thing. Okay, she's hungry. Yeah, I think it's yeah, just taking your time and enjoying it And to cuz then you feel it and when you're with men Do you feel I'm sure probably with men who are more experienced and poor but in in real day to day life, do you find that men a lot of times? I was trying to say to my guy for the day, he's like, what do you mean guys aren't good? I'm like, there's a lot of men who just don't, they don't get oral sex, they try, are these other not into it, or they don't really know what they're doing, I think because

every vagina is different. So you have to learn, you have to pay attention, you have to like focus on is she moaning, is she moving? How's her body changing, you know, and they don to pay attention, you have to focus on is she moaning, is she moving? How is her body changing? And they don't pay attention to it at all. Well, it's even guys, every guy likes it a little different to. Right, same. Same.

So I think that's the key. You have to take it slow because you have to read the person and figure out what they like. And then once you know, then you can just like the the next time or whatever, you can just go for it. But especially the first time, it's like, that's why I love sex because it's different with everyone. So it's always new, it's always fresh. Exactly, and it should constantly be, though.

That's what, you know, I'd say one of the main points I make on the show over and over again is that your sex life should be expansive if you're in a community- It's even a that your sex life should be expansive if you're in a community or a committed relationship. It should be something that's constantly growing that you're challenging each other and you're doing new things and you're raising the level. And I mean raising the level to craziness.

I just mean you're trying new things and it's exciting and it's like this beautiful thing and so many people have so many troubles with it and they just kind of get stagnated. And it is a beautiful thing and we're like, we wouldn't be here without sex. I think, I think one of the the the easiest ways to figure out is like, just dirty talk. Now I know the guy that I'm dating like he really wants to have a threesome because like I'll talk to him about it during like, we'll merge together and be like, oh, so you want to see me and like buried in another girl. And he loves it. So now, like, well, now we have to have a threesome.

I like to. Yeah, I'm going to find one of my porn-o friends. Oh my god, that's too mean. Oh, I know so many. I'm sure he's never done a good part. He's never had a threesome. No. So be his first.

Yeah. Oh my god, that's so fun. Do you like having threisms? I do. I think they're always a little bit trickier though, because there's the danger of someone feeling left out. Exactly. So I actually prefer orgies, because then there's more people

to play with. If somebody's feeling left out, you can be like, oh, well, I'm going to go over here. Exactly. No, it is true. It's so true that I always say it's almost better when you have a threesome if you're not all attached. I give it a couple and then you bring someone else in. It can be so tricky because it's going to come with it at the end of the night or who's

going to finish off or you know, I mean there's a lot. There's a lot. I mean, that's just one of the minor things, but it is true that it can't get sticky like couples who think we're going to have a three-some one's going to save our relationship. No. You have to have like a really solid ground, really great communication before you bring in a third partner. So I want to go back to orgasm quickly because I don't. I orgasm, but not as quickly and I'm very, I'm very envious to people like you. So have you always like, when did you start masturbating?

Um, I remember masturbating with, remember those little braiding, dividing, hair braiding, twisty devices. I guess. I remember masturbating with that because I would turn it on and it would vibrate a little bit. So I'd use the handle. I do all the time. I will be up.

I was young. I must have been like, I don't know, like 11. And you just knew that because I was, I saw something. I may maybe shouldn't have at a very young age. So I already had the one's first sex. Right, it was a one's first sex. Yeah, but I just like, I remember the first time I like masturbated with just my fingers and like, I had an orgasm and I was like, and I was like, was that it?

Because I wasn't sure, you mean when you first. Yeah, you don't know. You don't know. So is it is it clitorally or g-spot or everything you work at it? It's a little bit of everything I couldn't I I don't know I'd I have really strong kegel muscles to right to do a lot of exercises I've been doing those since before I knew what they were now so like maybe seven Because I would I was young I used to have this weird complex about peeing

and I would always hold it because I'd be playing or whatever and I didn't want to go. So I would, but by holding it, I was like strengthening my kegel muscles and then I noticed that if I needed to pee and I, like, worked my kegels, I could actually have an orgasm without having to touch myself. So like I'd be on the bus or whatever, just like, silent.

Right, silent, really, really happy bus right home. Well, kegels, I just know it's so important if you don't know what they are. I have an iPhone app actually called KeagleCam. Oh really? Yeah, and every day it pops up on your phone. There's a little reminder, and it says time for you to say it any time a day, and it's five minutes a day, and it's my voice that walks you through it, and there's 20 levels. So people get to think it harder and harder levels and people

get to level 20 and like men women and they have stronger organisms because of it and I'm like everyone needs to do it. I think you understand but I love that you naturally did it. So you just naturally born for this. Do you do them during sex? Yes I do. That's how when I when I'm working if the director is like okay we need you to have an orgasm. Usually the girls have to fake it because I mean who can come on command if you're a woman. But for me, it's a lot easier because I can just work my kegels and I can kind of force myself to come.

Exactly. Which is a great tip for women. If you do have a hard time orgasm during the course, I'm telling you, download my app or just do it yourself. I think just the thing about my app that's unique is that it reminds you because they're saying do a minute traffic light doing more going on Remember so I'm doing mine right now Right I can't and just five minutes and you will see like within a month That you are at least I go orgasms and you can do it I for me too when I want to or when I feel like it's coming

But you know when you feel like you're about to orgasm and you're not like I just do my kiggles and it's a boom and it happens So they know what else is a really good trick. Well, this is this I do this accidentally. I hold my breath when I'm coming and but it's it's almost like a form of breath play because when you're light headed because of the air deprivation, it makes the orgasms feel even cooler. Wow, that's a good one. I like it.

So. Because a lot of women hold their breath the whole time they're having sex and I often think that that prevents them from having orgasms, but you do it right before. Yeah, I do it as I'm coming, which is why I think I'm always so out of it after sex because I'm like, I come so many times. Can you love the orgasms? I always do.

It's weird. I'm very, very like I realize that I'm very like I kind of want you to leave right now. But um, so do you have a sex choice? I pretty much use a hotachi religiously. I actually just recently broke my 90s. I didn't do one because I use it so much. I have an amazing woman sitting here in the studio with me. Nina Hartley. Hello. Hello. You do.

Yay. I love the clapping. That's amazing. She, Nina, is if you don't know, which I can't imagine because everyone knows who Nina is, I feel. American pornographic actress, director, sex educator, feminist, author, you've been in how many films? About 900.

900 films. And you're still doing films. Absolutely. At everything, you're activists, you've done so many things, and I'm so in awe of your career, and all the amazing things you've done, and we're gonna talk about sex tonight. I mean, sex with Emily.

I'm really, I'm so, I was feeling, I should, I know, how about that? Even at awesome. I know. And we're going to get into the stuff. All the things that you've ever wanted to ask, Nina, and I feel like so many of my listeners, they need tips, they need advice for keeping their relationships

interesting and how to have a spicy sex life. And I love oral sex tips. I always ask my guests. And I feel like you would have really good oral sex tips for women and for men. So we're going to get into that, you know, sexy voice. And Anderson, are you paying attention? Are you Anderson? Are you there? So I'm here with Anderson as well,

and he's making everything run smoothly. I make things sound good. You make things sound pretty. And you're not just a perfect face yourself. You make you sound pretty. That does Nina, and I just make sure that the levels are good. No, but you're doing good. Okay. So Nina, I don't even know. I was like, Nina, I'm like, there's so many things that Nina can talk about. And so I feel like, tell me what you're up to now. So, oh, for, well, yeah, tell me what's going on in your life now that you're excited about.

What do you look at? Nina.com, which is amazing you have that URL. Right, yeah, Nina.com is my, my pay site. And it's triple X. I do need to, I've been doing this 32 years since I started dancing in 30 years in porn and I am now old enough to have children in their 30s. But as I tell the young people with whom I work, you know, I'm old enough to be your mother but I'm no one's mother, so it's not creepy.

Right, exactly. So I want, I have been working pretty more energy into branching out just in terms of talking and teaching because I've been a feminist my whole life. And so I remember the early days of the conversation about pornography and sex and sexuality and sexual expression from the 70s. And now I have 40 years perspective

on how's that working for you. Right, exactly. So I'm the age of a lot of young people's parents, and so, but I'm not a parent, so if I'm not, Ikey. Right. So I wanted to give back to the community. I want to talk to young adults about what I wish I'd known about sex when I was their age.

What is, so when you say young, you're talking about people in their 20s. I'm talking about it. For me 18 to 30. I could eat, I'm 54, I could easily have a 30 year old child. Without it being weird. And the fight had a child go out of high school that person would be 30. I do my favorite playmates were born the year I graduated high school and they're 35.

It blows my mind. But I see them as peers because they're doing. When are you playing a table that you play with, have sex with? Right. I am not a monogamous person and I'm also queer so I have a large circle of poly, poly, bi, queer, non monogamous. Right.

Polymorphously perverse. Exactly. But I live, I live a sexually open lifestyle and what people is polymorphously perverse. Exactly. But I live a basically open lifestyle and what people get confused about who are not this, why are these ways that they can choose to open with an archic, with like no rules at all. And what it really is, it's a kind of sexual orientation that works best when you keep it within people of your like orientation. So people with whom I play and when we play is almost always

some kind of sexual intention. If not actual genital contact. Are people who share my sexual values, my sexual outlook, most of my overlaps sexual philosophy enough that we can cohabit the same space and share some kind of mutual good time. And I don't try to do that with people who sexual values and boundaries. Don't mess with mine. And the biggest thing I could tell anybody as a young adult is figure out what, and this is what you can do alone while reading, you don't even have to do with anybody. It's just something inside yourself.

What do I seem to be? I'm strongly pulled toward monogamy. I'm strongly pulled toward nomenogamy, but I feel guilty about it because of what I've been told. So am I really monogamous in wanting a fantastical dream? Or am I actually a nomenogamous person burdened with guilt? So we have to investigate. So in honor of it. So my playmates and they're 35 and they're born in the year I graduated high school. Like yet the S out of dog Oh my god, but but I feel as I feel more wives than ever

I wouldn't go back and be 35 again if you paid me because at 35 I was entering the most unhappy period of my first marriage Okay, where I was craziest and most absolutely So I've been unhappy married and happily married now and I have I have Insight I can impart to people and also the whole thing about personal responsibility. Stop feeling I say to victim. I'm sure you talk about that with people all the time. Feeling like a victim in their own life.

In their own. It's basically sex, poor me, poor me, and you know, pull a big big big person panties. And we're not talking about actually having been victimized, obviously, when I talk about violence. No, but we're talking about where, where you know, where you're doing your crazy, you're keeping your partner's,

you have this pattern that you act out again and again, you realize, and after the third time it is you. Exactly. What's the common denominator here? Oh, okay, it's me, I know, I fully blame myself for all of my mistakes now. Like, I think it's so funny about my relationships. I'm like, oh, yeah, this is my pattern. And people don't stop, they don't stop looking themselves. But I think it's interesting. So you've

been, have you always known that you were non monogamous or when you were in school? Yeah. Okay. Well, if I'd had the words in high school, I would have recognized that I was as to quote Reed Mahalka, a poly-by slut. I love Reed. as to quote Reed Mahalco a poly-by slut. I love Reed. Reed, Sam is right. You love Reed. Yeah, you love Reed about sex. And I never had a monocle with fantasy in my life.

I always fantasized about them. I never fantasized about him. And I always felt strange about that. So when it comes to sex, I feel like Spock. I just never, and if you have friends who are very, very strongly gay, they'll tell you, oh, I knew from first grade, oh, I knew from five years old, oh, absolutely. And, and you know people like that. Yeah, absolutely. I am not, so my sexuality is as strong and in bread and born in me as their gayness, but because I didn't

have language for it, I didn't know that had to do with relational orientation, or because Polly is and monogamous is separate from gay or kinky or bisexual. It says, how do you want to run your romantic life? And I'm very happy, I need a wide variety of people with whom I can be sexual, and I have a husband husband and people will say, Nina, if you're, why be married, if you're not going to be monocomest. And I say, well, my husband's my through partner. So all the sex I have is intentional. We negotiate it. We are doing it deliberately. It's not because someone got drunk.

So each time I'm with someone, that's a beautiful bead. Maybe this is a carved ivory bead. This is a marano glass bead or this is a Hopi Indian bead. Maybe this is a carved ivory bead. This is a marano glass bead or this is a Hopi Indian bead. And I string all those beads on the through relationship I have with my husband. And they for me that balances out. Right. And is he also, is he just he see other people as well? Nothing seriously. I'm I'm Pauli Amrith. He's non monogamous. Okay. But the orientations work well enough that we can make it work. My primary, when I got out of my first marriage, I knew that I would be single until I was dead

and have cats and lovers before I would ever consent again to be with a possessive partner. I've been struggling with my guilt over wanting a non-possessive partner for so long. I'm struggling over my guilt about desiring multiple people because person A would get so hurt. So I express an interest in person B because person A felt that my interest in person B therefore it meant less for him or her. And or you like B because you don't like me.

You like B because I'm deficient. It's like no, I like A and B. And there's enough for everyone, right? For as a polyperson, A is A, A is A. Nothing else can be A and nothing else can be... And you can't, they don't compete. Exactly. So if there's a, for example, another slender, attractive, accomplished, intelligent, young brunette woman over here, who can rock the plaid pants, which I no longer bother trying to wear.

And if there's someone who on the surface of it looked a lot like you, I would not be confused because you're you and she would be her. And so that so you vibrate this string in that harmonic resonance way and she and she can't pluck your string. Right exactly. You were young. They're possessive. And so I totally understand, do you think that there's a lot of people do find that would be not my monogamous or polyamorous if they could, but they don't even think that's an option because they have to.

And I was like, do you think really like a lot of people are, you know, assuming that they're just, I think I feel like they're suffering through monogamy. I think monogamy is an honest orientation. I think a solid 20% of people are truly monogamy. I think monogamy is an honest orientation. I think a solid 20% of people are truly monogamous. One partner is all they want and they're devoted their whole lives and it's not a burden and it really it's what it's what they are. They are it. This is it. I felt I met your mother when we were 15. I fell in love and never looked at another woman's sins. I've met enough couples like that to note that for some people is true. And then there is 20% of the people like me who are fully acclimated to a functioning

healthy non-monogamous relational style and have a good partner and are okay with that. And the other 60% are struggling with some balance of it. So as not that I think more people would be non-monog, I think more people could be more open and fluid than are now if it were considered and a healthy option. Right now, you know, monogamy is the only thing that's healthy and normal, immature and respectful. I would never put it in my part. You let him do what? You let her do what?

It's like not letting. So clearly, I can't be with someone like you. And I tried that. I tried very hard. I fail at monocle me. I complete a new detail. I was, I ended up being a cheater. I ended up being a liar. I ended up with holding it was a yeah. It was crazy. So but if what I really was why I want to strangle them. Okay. A people and say, well, you know, I want other parts, but if what I really was why I want to strangle them, a people and say, well, I want other parts, but I don't want my part to have anybody else inside. Then you are too immature for this. You don't get to have the cookie.

Right. Because this is a two way street. Exactly. Now, because in our culture, people get stunted emotionally at very young ages around sexuality and pleasure. And what do I get to have in the world? And then they grow up to be big people. they interact with another adult person and then a trigger gets pushed all of a sudden they're again a very young child and they don't want to have to

deal with their stuff. You have to do it first because I'm not going to it's like I thought I was dating a grown-up. Exactly. No, I understand and I think a lot of people struggle with it. I myself same thing. I monogamy has, it's never worked for me, really. And never.

And I love hearing you say this because I still think I try to get into relationships where I am. Not that I haven't been in, but I used to be a cheater. I'm a form cheater because I don't really commit now. And if I do, I'm like, okay, this is more open. But it's something that I never wanted from a young age. I've never wanted it. And I kept thinking that.

What's wrong with you from not wanting it? I'm like, one day I'll want to get married. Well, one day I'll want a kid. You know, it'll all happen. And it's so good, but no. At this point, it's just not gonna happen. No, I mean, I kept waiting. I kept waiting.

I kept waiting. Right, I kept waiting for the to want kids. And the joke now is that the factory they forgot to wind my biological flaw. Exactly, that's what I always say. I mean, I don't have one. I don't have my love kids. I love them.

I love them. But let's go back to your child. So you grew up in Berkeley in California, which I just moved to LA from San Francisco. So my heart is still in San Francisco. Oh, it's all my life. So what was the name of that? So my name is growing up in Berkeley then. What were your parents like? Were they? My parents are totally alt. My father. My father was a blacklisted radio personality. So I grew up after he'd been black. He would ask people McCarthy got. And my mother, they had had a pretty modern marriage

and my mother was going back to school to get her masters and she had a job too. And so I grew up in a very avant-garde female red winner, male home keeper household 20 years before that was popular, so that was very difficult for everybody involved. I'm sure it must have been. I was a youngest and so I had a lot of time to myself to pursue my own interest, my parents were all of the 60s deeply into therapy. Girl, I can tell you things there. Everything, right. You got, and in 1969 they found Zen Buddhism and started studying that seriously.

In 1973 they quit my mother, quit her job and became full-time students. And my mother is a senior priest at the Zen Center in San Francisco. Oh, she is? Still is? Yeah, oh well. And so they found they, I'm so grateful because being 1969, it could have been asked. It could have been hard. I was going to ask if it was asked.

It could have been signed on. Thank God. That's right. God it was then all along. No, that's what I was going to say to you. Thank God. So then your parents are that and then you. Excuse me.

I'm sorry. I guess what is asked? Oh, Earnhard seminar training. If I don't know, I'll let them be. No, I'm glad you're asking. It was just like hippie. With a first cult of personality, I'm okay. You're an asshole.

Is that why? You heard about things, well they keep you in the room all day to know when you're hungry and tired and you need to go to the bath and break your ego. Yeah, I mean it was like a spiritual, people remember like landmark form, I think people do that now. Well I think landmark form is a descendant of AST. It's kind of like- What about the thing where people screamed?

The primal scream therapy, my parents tried that. I thought I'd done everything, it burkly in the 16s. They're in the 16s. How many tears do you say? Like, what else do you say? I remember that tears from fear songs. Shout, shout, let it all out. It's all about that.

Oh, was it? Didn't know? Are you just saying that? No, no, I can't really. It really does work. So I was so, what's so important as, so yes, I was a lonely child. Yes, my parents feel very bad about that.

But the positive thing out of all of that Is that they show by their example that you can their life have been up ended by my father's blacklist in this the plan They have are themselves 65 miles an hour into the brick wall and so they showed me that you can a person can cast about and find the best way to make an honorable and meaningful life for yourself according to your own needs. And for a protoqueer kid who didn't know that word yet, it was very, very liberating because part of what they also looked at was sexuality. And then there was a feminist movement where I got all the some of the source material because of these brand new ideas.

And so there was before the anti-prinography feminist took over the whole branch of the whole wing of feminism, there was actually quite open discussion about sex worker rights and women's bodies. It was beautiful. It was really great, very, so it was very empowering that the thinking about, but I was younger enough that I wasn't fully an adult. I hadn't become an adult in that environment.

So I was reading people's projections on the utopian way of being around sexuality, young enough that I grew into it. And you lived it. And if I had a little more FUFing F, I would have not put up with some of what I put up with. I was a bit, I was a bit, a bit. I was quite codependent for a number of years. And so in my secret mind, I wanted to be braver, like Betty Dotson in my real life. I just couldn't quite break that pattern until I finally did it 40.

It's like, oh, I'm holding myself back. All right, guys, we're going to take a quick break and we come back even more porn talk. How would you introduce yourself to an angel if you had to do it on your own? If I had to do it on my own, I'm Joanna Angel. I'm a director and a porn star. I call myself a porn trooper newer. Porn trooper newer. I love it. You are a porn trooper newer.

Yeah, you kind of do it a little of everything in the adult industry, I love it. You are a portrait-prenuer. Yeah, you kind of do a little of everything in the adult industry. I love it. I masturbate a lot. But if I do see my husband masturbating, I'm like, what the fuck? You do? What's wrong with me? Huh? Do you do that?

I do. I do. Dude, this is what we're telling women not to do. Oh, okay, well, I do it. You get mad at him? I do. Because what? You're like, okay, okay, because you're every

little girl. But you know, I have to say my husband actually doesn't master read them it, because he does porn. So, between doing porn and satisfying me, but you really feel like that sperm could have been mine.

I do. Are you trying to get pregnant? No. Okay, just like in general, you feel like. Yeah, I just want it, because I'm a bitch. Right. So you're like, how dare you master it? you like wanted because I'm a bitch

It's really grow dear you master it that me because I would have had sexually right now But you understand then for men that they need that release and I understand and my husband he does porn So it's totally different now his his sperm schedule it people don't understand how difficult it is to date You know tell me about that farmer, you know like like, it's a whole thing, you know, because if he's... But you were the performer first. And then you just got him in the industry and then... You pushed him in and now it's annoying. Yeah, and now it's...

The sex isn't annoying, and I love our life, you know, like, it's fun, but sometimes... Like, I mean, the sex he has on camera is not what it is. But it's just, it's the scheduling that I kind of forgot about, because... is my second time with, you know, I did another male performer for a really long time and I kind of forgot about this part, you know. But it's like, it's pretty common, you know, when a man, I don't know how many, most

people don't know this. When a man has to, has to come on camera, you know, like he can't have wild sex the night before. Just can't, some of them can, it's rare. Right. Maybe if they're 20. Yeah, exactly. Maybe if they're 20 or they're just, I don't know. I find that Europeans are born with a different sexual chemical makeup and they're capable of

doing anything. I don't know. It's just different. Right. But for the most part, you know, like he can't, he can't have a wild night of sex the night before. Like baseball players here, right? He usually don't know your schedule till the day before. It's pretty common for a director to be like, oh, your call time tomorrow is this.

It's rare for a porn director to actually give you your info a week before. So it's kind of like as soon as we know his info the next day, we have to like schedule our sex. And then he's funny sometimes. So if he's gonna be on set at eight o'clock in the morning, like we're not gonna be able to bone the roof before, but and we'll know that like if he has to be on set at eight o'clock in the morning the next day after that,

we'll know that like we have to have sex as soon as he gets home from work that day or it's probably not gonna happen. Yeah, he kinda needs like a good 12 hours to like refill the tank. Or like we'll have sex I mean we've gotten kind of creative like a lot of it's just like he can't come He's a little time to go down on me for a while. I'm a perfect and will like I know you can't come but yeah, but I can

Right, so like we'll have sex for like you know For like until he's like almost there and then we'll kind of stop you know Then he'll go down on me and then we kind of switch. People don't realize how much we sacrifice just so he can give the world a beautiful performance. It's he on your side as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, we perform together, any more. Oh my God, that's hot.

It's the thing, it's really, it's like being an athlete, it's different for women, we just, we can keep coming, coming, coming. I'm never like, oh, I can't do it any time, exactly, like 16 times. We do whatever. Here's my, especially during masturbation. Sorry, sorry, from my laptop. No, I can do it, I can keep coming, come and coming. I'm never like, oh, I can't do whatever I want. Yeah, exactly. Like, like, like, 16 times. Do whatever. Okay, here's my, especially during masturbation. Sorry if I'm wrong.

No, I can do it. I can do it. Dedicate a whole show to the list. But a quick question for you is that I want to know since he's, so you've been in porn for 12 years, 15 years. So he's new to porn. Yeah, it's been two years. But he's been together for a while.

So he's wondering how, how he's changed sexually or how your sex life has changed since he's gotten into porn at all. Yeah. Well, that, I mean, that is a way to sex life. Yeah, besides that, I mean, scheduling leads to just fucking. I mean, I'm not gonna be like, like he knows it. He would, I made him more aggressive and bad, you know. He taught him that he more aggressive. I did. I did. I mean, I basically taught him how to fuck like a porn star before he even became a porn

star just for my own personal benefit because it's just what I need. Right, right. He meant to be a sample. Really, wouldn't he? Like a porn star, like how you, like a lot of... Like just a lot of like, the porn stars that I really like and then I connect to it and scenes, you know, we give each other a lot of eye and contact, we like talk dirty to each other a lot, you know, just a lot of like, just a lot of just, very, a lot of it just comes from confidence, you know, I'm just like, like

you know, when you're with someone in bed and like they don't really know what to do and they know it's like just pick something and do it and like commit to it. Okay, so Joanna, I can't tell you how many men you're going to be helping in this moment. You're so amazing people. No, listen to me. What I'm saying is I want to go back to this. You're saying that just pick it. So I think guys, do I take off for a shirt now?

Do I do this? You're not okay with what you do. You're like your body guy, too. You know, like your penis guy, too. Like your libido guy, too. Like just be like, I really want to see your tits and grab her tits. Whether that means her shirt's on or her shirt's off, doesn't matter. Like if you want to grab her I really want to see her tits and grab her tits whether that means her shirts on or her shirts off doesn't matter like if you want to grab her tits just grab her tits you know like just kind of like like your body like guide you and just just do it. You know,

and it's not consent and they're worried about women saying you could you say that it could be touch. It could be touch. It could be touch your boobs. It could be just but just focus on our boobs right. I love it. Yeah. I mean I think once two people I mean that's never touch your boobs. It could be just, but just focus on our boobs. Right, I love it. Yeah, I mean, I think once, two people, I mean, that's a difficult thing, cause you don't wanna violate any kind of consent, but you also don't wanna be like overthinking that the entire time you're having sex. I'm just trying to walk the line here, so I have to-

But do you remember Joanna's a porn, she loads of kind of sucks, she likes, but what you're saying is to guys, get out of your head and get into your body. Yeah. And just be like, if you want it, even just tell her, like, God, you're so hot, and I want to grab you, and then you do it. Yeah, I do.

And she doesn't know. And she's like, obviously, when she says, no, you stop, you know. Right, but if she's like, wow, I, because I know for me, like, it feels like the other person's energy. A lot of people think fucking like a porn star just means really long and really hard and really fast, but that's not necessarily it's the intensity. Okay, tell me. I think it's the intensity.

Like, I think for me personally, there's different types of porn scenes. And the ones that I'm always like, yes, that was amazing. Whether I'm directing it and performing it, it's when you just feel this like really intense energy, this really intense physical connection. [♪ INTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Siri, hi. I'm so excited. Okay, so tell me about you, how I knock out. We gotta get through how you got started.

I mean, you started just how many years ago now? Two and a half. Okay, and you've already taken off and done so how did you first get into this business? It was actually like a goal of mine. already taken off and done so how did you first get into this business? It was actually like a goal of mine. Even when I was, I knew that I wanted to do adult films when I was 19 and I was in my first semester of college and it was something that I really wanted to do that. I put it on the back burner because I wanted to finish school.

So as soon as I was done with college, I moved out here the first chance I got, drove through across the country in January from Texas, where I'm from, made a pit stop at the AVN show in January, in Vegas, to do networking. And I met some people there. And then basically it was like a week later, I had driven to LA and had an appointment. And I'll take off from there. That's pretty amazing that you had success. So why did you always, what was it about porn that made you want to think like this is for me? I want to do it.

Um, just the combination of sexual expression and openness and performing, you know, being an entertainer for me was like ideal because I'm a performer type. I was a theater nerd growing up. You are? Okay. Yeah. And I've always, I've always been very sexual and at the same time, when I was growing up, I didn't feel comfortable expressing myself sexually and I really longed for a place in a form to be able to do that. So for me, that's exactly what adult films does, you know. Right. So when you say you've always been sexual, you mean like from a young age you started masturbating or feeling... I mean like I always, I was always very curious about sex, and it was something that I wanted to know about,

and I had really had so much curiosity. At the same time, I was like a late bloomer. I didn't actually have sex for the first time until I was 18. I had my first kiss at 17. So, yeah, so for me, all the curiosity led to this kind of growing up with all this pent up, like, oh, I want to eat it.

Because you're, it was because your family wasn't as open to it or it was just more repressive. I guess everyone's. Yeah. The societies reprived. Like, they're not teaching in school or not. To be honest, it was kind of that. It's like, I originally am from Minnesota and I moved to Texas and I was like 12.

Okay. And in Texas, they don't really do such sex ed. No. It's just not really a thing. Right. So I didn't have any sex ed formally in school. I mean, I went from Michigan, we didn't really do anything ever. Everything that I wanted to know about sex, no one was telling me,

so I saw it out on my own, I would go to the library, and there was a website that was really popular in the late 90s called Girl.com, like Girls But With The U. And they published a book, and I think it was like 98 or 99, and it was a Girls Guide to Life 99 and it was a girl's guide to life. And it had a whole chapter on sex and had like girls writing him with sex advice. They had doctors talking about sex advice.

And it was, to me, very sex positive for teenage girls. And kind of in the way that like your podcast is and you know, there's this whole kind of like sex education revolution happening right now. I think so too. I think that we just, I've just been so passionate about, I mean, I always, since I started the show, but I just feel like now that I have these nieces, young nieces in 14 and once 12,

and they're Googling me, which is a problem, that's 12-year-old. But it's like, I just know that even my sister was like, how do I talk to her? There's not a lot of information out there of like how you talk to kids, it's been so passionately that we just need. And I think for women, the kids,

like getting them to know, like I didn't even master, I didn't even occur to me, I didn't even think of, I didn't know to do it. I wish that it was taught for women to feel more empowered, sexually, that it wasn't about pleasing your partner, it's about understanding your own body first

and all that stuff. So, yeah, it's important stuff. So what, so you do a variety of different kind of porn and styles in genre. So what's your favorite one to sell to work in? Oh, that's tough. Because I mean, like I said, I'm a theater nerd. So I love doing the films that involve more acting, like parodies and feature length porn films. I mean, like I said, I also, I love sex and that's a huge part of it, obviously.

Right. So I don't, honestly, I don't necessarily have like a favorite type of film or genre that I like to do. It's done anything that you're interested in doing, and that you'd like to try that you haven't done yet, or like any kind of anything sexually unseen that you're doing. Oh, there's a lot. Yeah. If I can speak graphically, which is... Yes, you can swear, graphic, come on, sex with with that money. Like if you can't do it here. Yeah There's a lot that that I have not done on camera that I've maybe done in my personal life, but I've kind of been holding out on camera because

Well for me, it's about I really want a career and I want longevity, right? So the longer I wait to do exactly Low to speak right there. Yeah, I want to blow your load so to speak right the early on. Yeah. I got it. So, but, but so far you're, you're happy with what, what you've been doing. Oh yeah. So far I've only done like what, what in the industry is like kind of straight, straight boy girl sex, you know, and I do, I do girl girl stuff. Okay. But by boy girl sex, I mean no, no anal, no like multiple partners or anything. I've done like two guys on film and that's about as involved.

I haven't done a gangbang film. Got it, but maybe. But it doesn't have my personal life. Have you? You had a gangbang in your product? How did that happen? A couple times. How did that happen?

A gangbang in your personal life? Like did you send out an e-vite? How does it work? Well, I'm married. My husband and I are swingers. So that's really how I've guess I've had two formal no One formal gaming and two like less formal ones that kind of just happened in a swingings scenario

Right organic game, but the one that was actually formal was a like a birthday present from my husband Like he arranged it and surprised me like that's amazing six guys How does see people just like what? Your husband, people don't understand that that can even exist that your husband, but that's a swingers, but you would want to watch you. Because I this came up with someone recently, she's like, my husband keeps talking about why

now I have sex, watch me have sex with someone, and I just, I mean, they're not swingers, they're very vanilla. She's like, I just don't get it. And like, there's just some guys, it turns them on, it's their thing. Yeah. And it's just started to, she's just kind of more conservative and just don't get it. I'm like, there's just some guys, it turns them on, it's their thing. Yeah. And it's just started to,

it's like she's just kind of more conservative and just didn't get it. But I think it's awesome that you found the man. Yeah. That's done with that. It goes both ways with us. Like I'll watch him with other girls too. And it's for us, it's about I enjoy,

we enjoy giving each other the gift of experiencing someone else, someone new. And it's like he's having fun, he's enjoying himself so that I enjoy that. Right, exactly. You get pleasure because he's having pleasure. And then you guys are also do like three sums with other women and stuff. Absolutely. Okay. One of my favorite three sums was actually with his ex-girlfriend. Seriously? People really do nice girl. That's awesome. Okay, so you got to go with the ex-girlfriend again too then. Yeah. That's nice. So that's really funny. That was your, like, so you got to go with the SX Girlfriend again too then.

Yeah. That's nice. That's really funny. I get why you like her because we both like the same guys. You guys probably got along well. It makes sense. Totally. It's a good way to vet your partners and stuff.

So you consider to your bisexual. Yes. Do you ever with women on your own without your husband? Yeah. It's not super frequent, it's, it's not like super frequent, but yeah, definitely. Because you've had, right, I think I read some of the early on, you were in just a, a relationship with a woman, right?

Yeah. Yeah, well around the same time that I actually first decided I wanted to do adult films, that was about six, like a year after I started dating women. When I was 18, I decided to start dating women. I had always been attracted to women, I hadn't really explored it. And I identified as a lesbian.

As soon as I started dating women, I was like, wow, I'm full on lesbian. And I identified that way for almost four years and toward the end of that four year period, I realized I was having attractions to men again. And so I was like, no wait, I guess I'm not, I guess. I've always been bisexual and, you know. So you know you have a little bit of bisexual.

So what age, was it a younger age? You thought that when you got older that you started feeling more attracted to women. It was at a younger age. I mean, the first time I knew I actually had a crush on a girl was like seven. Wow, okay. That's great.

I mean, no, that's for the whole tale. They knew, they knew it a young age. I always had crushes on boys and girls at the same time. See, that's all makes sense. You're like in the right place. Is there ever any time though when you're on camera, like beforehand, do you meet the people beforehand before you go on camera with someone?

Like, what if you're not that into them? Like, how do you get yourself into it? Turned out, like, do you just fancy everything else? Or you're just like, this is my job and getting paid and going home with my husband? Like, how do you get yourself into it? Turned out, like, do you just fancy anything else or you're just like, this is my job and getting paid and going home with my husband, like, what do you do? Well, part of that is, partially, it's not even an issue just because I've been in the industry for two and a half years now.

And it is a small world. So the majority of the time, I already at least know the person on some level. Right, because you've all, it's all the same. And usually if I don't know the person, I prefer to work with people that I've met like once before, just because you've all, it's all the same. And usually if I don't know the person, I prefer to work with people that I've met like once before, just because, you know, this is like, then I feel like,

if I haven't met them before then, I really talked to them before I've seen it, and get a sense of. And is there a certain protocol that before the scene, you do have to kind of say, this is what I'm into, this is what I'm not, this is what goes. Okay, that's kind of an unwritten,

common courtesy kind of thing of porn is, you ask your co-star, what are your likes, what are your dislikes, what's off limits, just general boundaries. Right, exactly. So what's off limits, do you say is off limits for you? For me, it's really, and not that I'm not into pain,

because there's a time and a place for that. Like I can be into a little bit of pain, a little bit of power play, but most of the time that's that's off the table for me unless I'm really in the mindset for it. So that's one of those things. But okay. I really enjoy dirty talk. So for me it's like I have more turn-ons that I have turn-offs. Right. So what do you turn on? So dirty talk is hot. Dirty talk is a huge one. You do love talking dirty and being talked dirty too, as well, back and forth. Oh yeah, absolutely.

How would you do some impromptu dirty talk? How would you take the book? Oh my God, please. I'm probably gonna need two plus dirt to do that. I had a woman at a party at the other week. She pulls me aside. I never met this happens at a party. She's like, I hear what you do and my new guy over there,

he wants me to talk dirty. And I start, she's like, reading books. I'm like, you just kind of got to like talk about what's going on in the moment. For me, it's just, it's like, that's why when you're like, I can't do it now, probably not. Because for me, it's so in the moment. It's like, I pretty much just say whatever pops in my head. Exactly. Well, it's too, because for women too, not that all women are into it, but like the brain is our largest sex organ. Like we too because women too, not that all women are into it, but the brain is our largest sex organ.

We want to hear words. That's what really turns us on. And men too, but for women, I think especially a lot of it's very fast. A good place to start, I think, is just telling the person verbally expressing what you're feeling. Right. Oh my God, that's so deep in my pussy. Exactly.

Just tell the guy what you're feeling. And you're pushing out a vagina, right? I'm using the word vagina. I feel like you're deep in my vagina. Like you're like, what are we having? Like a gynecological exam? No, you don't say pussy, but explain how you're feeling or what you want. Like I can't wait to have your cock inside me.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what you do people. You just start explaining what you're feeling in the moment. Alright guys, thanks for listening. I hope you enjoyed the show. I love you all. I love my amazing team. Thank you, Ken Michelle, producer, Jamie, and Michael.

Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. you